Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Hey Hey, Hey, y'all, how y'all doing. I have someone absolutely amazing, a legend, gonna go down in history as a trailblazer. She has been helping people with their mental health since the late nineties. And y'all, this icon, this legend is here to drop some real knowledge that we can use today. I'm not gonna waste no time. Let's get into it, y'all. This is an amazing, amazing day that I have someone that I can share space with. I'm gonna consider this sacred space because of who she is, and that is what she commands. Eyan la Venzant is one of the country's most celebrated writers and speakers, among the most influential socially engaged spiritual life coaches of our time, best selling author and has a podcast on Shondaland Audio called The R Spot. And she has fixed all of our lives, whether we were actually on the show or just watching from afar. Please welcome. I don't care. I know this ain't in person, but stand to your feet and welcome mss Ian la ven Zant.

Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Hey Hey, Hey, y'all, how y'all doing. I have someone absolutely amazing, a legend, gonna go down in history as a trailblazer. She has been helping people with their mental health since the late nineties. And y'all, this icon, this legend is here to drop some real knowledge that we can use today. I'm not gonna waste no time. Let's get into it, y'all. This is an amazing, amazing day that I have someone that I can share space with. I'm gonna consider this sacred space because of who she is, and that is what she commands. Eyan la Venzant is one of the country's most celebrated writers and speakers, among the most influential socially engaged spiritual life coaches of our time, best selling author and has a podcast on Shondaland Audio called The R Spot. And she has fixed all of our lives, whether we were actually on the show or just watching from afar. Please welcome. I don't care. I know this ain't in person, but stand to your feet and welcome mss Ian la ven Zant.

Ah. Thank you so much.

Ah. Thank you so much.

It truly is a joy to sit with you. I shared space with you some years ago at Essence Fest a while ago. Oh my gosh, yes ma'am, Yes, ma'am. And I'm glad that I got to honor you and give you your fly hours while you were there. And so today's episode is going to be a lot of honor. But while you hear of your wisdom, I'm not even gonna call them nuggets, because Iyanla, don't drop nuggets. Nuggets is what little shit suits be dropping in the yard. I'll tell you, she drops gems, Okay, life gems. You debuted into the mainstream with your iconic appearances on the Oprah Winfrey Show in nineteen ninety eight, and you taught women to say I'm not broke, but instead to say I am temporarily out of cash. Just some of your many sayings and how you were one of the first black women someone that we could look up to that we could talk about our state of our mental health without any shame, but somebody that we can say, wow, missing Ila gets it. We're a trailblazer to do that on such a big play. So from twenty two, from back to nineteen ninety eight. How do you feel about seeing how widely celebrated it is that we can talk about our mental health.

It truly is a joy to sit with you. I shared space with you some years ago at Essence Fest a while ago. Oh my gosh, yes ma'am, Yes, ma'am. And I'm glad that I got to honor you and give you your fly hours while you were there. And so today's episode is going to be a lot of honor. But while you hear of your wisdom, I'm not even gonna call them nuggets, because Iyanla, don't drop nuggets. Nuggets is what little shit suits be dropping in the yard. I'll tell you, she drops gems, Okay, life gems. You debuted into the mainstream with your iconic appearances on the Oprah Winfrey Show in nineteen ninety eight, and you taught women to say I'm not broke, but instead to say I am temporarily out of cash. Just some of your many sayings and how you were one of the first black women someone that we could look up to that we could talk about our state of our mental health without any shame, but somebody that we can say, wow, missing Ila gets it. We're a trailblazer to do that on such a big play. So from twenty two, from back to nineteen ninety eight. How do you feel about seeing how widely celebrated it is that we can talk about our mental health.

Yeah, I just I'm so grateful, and I also want us to do more than give it lip service. Now at least we're talking about it, because you know, back then, you didn't even want people to know if you had a headache, you know, much less if you were feeling depressed. So I'm really grateful, and I still have great concern that the way mental health is addressed and spoken about and the services for it scheople don't always meet the needs of women of color, particularly women of color, because the depth of our wounded us, the depth of our experiences, aren't always include did in the How can I say this the traditional psychological models. I worked with a woman a few years ago who, from all perspectives and intentions, was physically verbally aggressive and you know, off the charts if I can. And I was working with her and I said, you know what, you're depressed. It didn't look like the normal lay in the bed, don't brush your teeth depression. And what I discovered, and I did some work and talked to some people and came to understand that there is a form of depression that manifests as overt aggressive or abusive behavior, specifically among black women, and nobody was talking about that, you know, so I was able to connect her to someone that was familiar with it. So a lot of times we see with us what would be called bad behavior, aggressive behavior, or the angry black woman. It's really a form of depression. Depression meaning that there's a place within where we feel totally alone, totally unsupported, and hold the belief that we have to do everything on our own for ourselves because nobody is there to help us. That can be overwhelming, and what it does to the average person is lays them down in the bed. Yes, what it does to us very often it sends us out with a vengeance. So it's just something that I think we need to pay more attention to.

Yeah, I just I'm so grateful, and I also want us to do more than give it lip service. Now at least we're talking about it, because you know, back then, you didn't even want people to know if you had a headache, you know, much less if you were feeling depressed. So I'm really grateful, and I still have great concern that the way mental health is addressed and spoken about and the services for it scheople don't always meet the needs of women of color, particularly women of color, because the depth of our wounded us, the depth of our experiences, aren't always include did in the How can I say this the traditional psychological models. I worked with a woman a few years ago who, from all perspectives and intentions, was physically verbally aggressive and you know, off the charts if I can. And I was working with her and I said, you know what, you're depressed. It didn't look like the normal lay in the bed, don't brush your teeth depression. And what I discovered, and I did some work and talked to some people and came to understand that there is a form of depression that manifests as overt aggressive or abusive behavior, specifically among black women, and nobody was talking about that, you know, so I was able to connect her to someone that was familiar with it. So a lot of times we see with us what would be called bad behavior, aggressive behavior, or the angry black woman. It's really a form of depression. Depression meaning that there's a place within where we feel totally alone, totally unsupported, and hold the belief that we have to do everything on our own for ourselves because nobody is there to help us. That can be overwhelming, and what it does to the average person is lays them down in the bed. Yes, what it does to us very often it sends us out with a vengeance. So it's just something that I think we need to pay more attention to.

It not only sends us out with a vengeance, but it's because we have to.

It not only sends us out with a vengeance, but it's because we have to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of people don't have, you know, the resources to take time off to go get counseling with someone that speaks to them.

Yeah, a lot of people don't have, you know, the resources to take time off to go get counseling with someone that speaks to them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I want your take on why do you think as it relates to black people, that when we say the word depression as if it's a plague. I want to stay away from me. We don't talk about that, honey, I'm saved, sanctified, feel with the hot host. Ain't no depression over here, And it's like, yes there.

I want your take on why do you think as it relates to black people, that when we say the word depression as if it's a plague. I want to stay away from me. We don't talk about that, honey, I'm saved, sanctified, feel with the hot host. Ain't no depression over here, And it's like, yes there.

It's cultural for us, I mean, dating back to our oldest ancestors, A we don't affirm anything wrong, so there can't be anything wrong with me. And if I can't live up to the expectations, the requirements, the demands, the responsibilities of whatever my role is in the village or in the community and now in the society, then there's something wrong with me. Culturally, I don't speak about that. Culturally, we cover it up, we hide it, we mask it because if there's something wrong with me, it's going to impart certain responsibilities on other people. And because I don't want to be a burden, let me just mask, cover high, deny whatever is going on. So that's one thing. The other thing is and this is specifically for women of color. And I say women of color because I'm part Native American, part Latin, and part Black and part so I say women of color because very often, as descendants of Africans, we don't look at the other our sister women in the Native American culture or the Latin culture as experiencing many of the same things that we do to a different degree, but very often as women of color. This whole notion of depression speaks to our strength. And since we have the myth of the superwoman and the beast of burden and the one responsible for everyone else, we we can't abdicate our responsibilities or fail to meet the expectations of others. So we deny again in mask or overcompensate to prove to you, I'm not feeling like a pile of crap. I'm going to overdo, overgive, over commit, or overspeak, you know, yes. And then for Latin women, you know, culturally, for them in the machismo of the Latin community, what the woman wants or needs or whatever, you know, that's subjugated to whatever the men are wanted. And then in the Native community, you know, women are like dust on your shoe. You don't even ask them. They and if you ask them, they probably won't have anything to say. So it's shifting. It's shifting, and we have to be grateful. But the shift requires is that we become willing to speak it aloud, to speak it aloud, you know, yes, and not just carry the burden or take on the responsibility as a part of this dysfunctional culture that we find ourselves in here where women are just carrying so much weight.

It's cultural for us, I mean, dating back to our oldest ancestors, A we don't affirm anything wrong, so there can't be anything wrong with me. And if I can't live up to the expectations, the requirements, the demands, the responsibilities of whatever my role is in the village or in the community and now in the society, then there's something wrong with me. Culturally, I don't speak about that. Culturally, we cover it up, we hide it, we mask it because if there's something wrong with me, it's going to impart certain responsibilities on other people. And because I don't want to be a burden, let me just mask, cover high, deny whatever is going on. So that's one thing. The other thing is and this is specifically for women of color. And I say women of color because I'm part Native American, part Latin, and part Black and part so I say women of color because very often, as descendants of Africans, we don't look at the other our sister women in the Native American culture or the Latin culture as experiencing many of the same things that we do to a different degree, but very often as women of color. This whole notion of depression speaks to our strength. And since we have the myth of the superwoman and the beast of burden and the one responsible for everyone else, we we can't abdicate our responsibilities or fail to meet the expectations of others. So we deny again in mask or overcompensate to prove to you, I'm not feeling like a pile of crap. I'm going to overdo, overgive, over commit, or overspeak, you know, yes. And then for Latin women, you know, culturally, for them in the machismo of the Latin community, what the woman wants or needs or whatever, you know, that's subjugated to whatever the men are wanted. And then in the Native community, you know, women are like dust on your shoe. You don't even ask them. They and if you ask them, they probably won't have anything to say. So it's shifting. It's shifting, and we have to be grateful. But the shift requires is that we become willing to speak it aloud, to speak it aloud, you know, yes, and not just carry the burden or take on the responsibility as a part of this dysfunctional culture that we find ourselves in here where women are just carrying so much weight.

Carrying so much weight. And I thank you for affirming and empowering us to begin to talk about it. Even if some of us we're talking about we don't have the right language for, we might not be talking about it in the right way, but I'm so glad that we are getting there. As it relates to depression, I remember asking my mother. I became open about depression in twenty thirteen, pretty much by accident. I was doing an interview and somehow I was like, oh, yeah, you know, back in twenty twelve, I was in the bed for weeks talking about depression and I'm supposed to be promoting Fell Out of the musical, and here I am. Somehow depression gotten the mixed and mister an, let you know how this goes like you might think you said something off the record, but it made the interview and it became sure this headline, and I was so ashamed because I thought, are people going to look at me as a liability? Then in twenty eighteen having to check myself into a treatment facility for depression, and the support and the love that I've gotten, and for people saying thank you for not letting me feel like something's wrong with me or that I'm alone. I have decided to speak up about it and let people know the journey, and thank you for being a trailblazer and helping people feel empowered. Yeah, to talk about it. I'm saying all this to say, even still trying to talk to say my mother about it. She is seventy, there's still some oh yeah, resistance, resistance and shame, shame even and even to talk about other medical issues. I need to know what was carried in my bloodline. Why are we so afraid to say, well, you know, grandfather had such and such, such and such. Now she did tell me, she said she does believe my grandfather, had there been a diagnosis for him, that he would have been bipolar. So I was shocked to hear her say that. But mental health issues, I don't know, like you said, if it's still because we don't want to affirm anything wrong or give power to spirits, because apparently what you give power to that thing manifesting girls and I'm like, no, we got to know what grandfather had, we got to know what Mama had.

Carrying so much weight. And I thank you for affirming and empowering us to begin to talk about it. Even if some of us we're talking about we don't have the right language for, we might not be talking about it in the right way, but I'm so glad that we are getting there. As it relates to depression, I remember asking my mother. I became open about depression in twenty thirteen, pretty much by accident. I was doing an interview and somehow I was like, oh, yeah, you know, back in twenty twelve, I was in the bed for weeks talking about depression and I'm supposed to be promoting Fell Out of the musical, and here I am. Somehow depression gotten the mixed and mister an, let you know how this goes like you might think you said something off the record, but it made the interview and it became sure this headline, and I was so ashamed because I thought, are people going to look at me as a liability? Then in twenty eighteen having to check myself into a treatment facility for depression, and the support and the love that I've gotten, and for people saying thank you for not letting me feel like something's wrong with me or that I'm alone. I have decided to speak up about it and let people know the journey, and thank you for being a trailblazer and helping people feel empowered. Yeah, to talk about it. I'm saying all this to say, even still trying to talk to say my mother about it. She is seventy, there's still some oh yeah, resistance, resistance and shame, shame even and even to talk about other medical issues. I need to know what was carried in my bloodline. Why are we so afraid to say, well, you know, grandfather had such and such, such and such. Now she did tell me, she said she does believe my grandfather, had there been a diagnosis for him, that he would have been bipolar. So I was shocked to hear her say that. But mental health issues, I don't know, like you said, if it's still because we don't want to affirm anything wrong or give power to spirits, because apparently what you give power to that thing manifesting girls and I'm like, no, we got to know what grandfather had, we got to know what Mama had.

Well, again, for us, it is cultural, and you know how it was handled back in great great grandma's days. You went to the wise woman or the or the medicine man, and you got yourself together. Every disease or imbalance has a spiritual component, and many of us embrace a spiritual foundation that doesn't always support us in telling the truth about what we are experiencing. But culturally, not only was it is it taboo to admit that there's something wrong with you, It is inappropriate to speak your family business. So God, now that I'm older and I look back and I say, oh God, my cousin James was gay. He wasn't even gay, he was hysterical. You know. But black men, you didn't talk about it. You didn't talk your family business outside. And very often we didn't know, we didn't know. We called it something else.

Well, again, for us, it is cultural, and you know how it was handled back in great great grandma's days. You went to the wise woman or the or the medicine man, and you got yourself together. Every disease or imbalance has a spiritual component, and many of us embrace a spiritual foundation that doesn't always support us in telling the truth about what we are experiencing. But culturally, not only was it is it taboo to admit that there's something wrong with you, It is inappropriate to speak your family business. So God, now that I'm older and I look back and I say, oh God, my cousin James was gay. He wasn't even gay, he was hysterical. You know. But black men, you didn't talk about it. You didn't talk your family business outside. And very often we didn't know, we didn't know. We called it something else.

We called it crazy.

We called it crazy.

They just different, They different, right, don't even you know? So it's cultural or for us, but those taboos and those behaviors that are not supported because we live in a very different time. We live in a very different time. You know, there was a time when I could go and lay my head in Grandma's bosom, and her in the prayer warriors would stand around me and lift me out. But now Grandma might be in the crackhouse, or she might be in a senior citizen center, or I might not even know who she is, you know. So some of the things, some of the things that we had in our community, in our village, in our culture that would support us in moving through these things, we don't have them anymore, so we have to come up with new ways. The other thing is people talk about mental health, but they still think of two words crazy and wrong, which then generates a lot of shame for black people. You can be fat, you can be ugly, you can be broke, but you can't be wrong. You know, it's cultural for us, as we were indoctrinated to believe that because our skin was dark and our hair was wooly, and because we came from a place called Africa where the majority of the people were dark with wooly hair, there's something wrong with us. We don't meet the standard, and we don't understand that. We carry that as a cellular memory in our DNA. So let me weigh five hundred pounds, and every medical facility wants to help me. Let me be ugly as the bottom of somebody's shoe, and I can go get some plastic surgery. But please don't let me be wrong. Don't let anything be wrong with me, okay, because then that triggers up that cellular memory of being inferior and being savage, and being beaten and being denigrated, dishonor disrespect. We don't understand that that still rings true within us. So while we talk about mental health, we still have these labels that we attached to it, and we don't think of it just as a form of health. It's health. Your mind needs to be healthy, and that's what mental health is. How do I get my mind healthy? It's nothing wrong with it, But the same way I can have breast cancer, or I can have diabetes, or I can have hypertension, or I can have gout or arthritis, that's health in the body. Mental health is simply health in the mind. And the things that give you gout give you gout, and the things that give you depression give you depression. And the things that give you cancer give you cancer. And the things that make you bipolar, make you buipolar. It's just health, and that's how we got to think about it.

They just different, They different, right, don't even you know? So it's cultural or for us, but those taboos and those behaviors that are not supported because we live in a very different time. We live in a very different time. You know, there was a time when I could go and lay my head in Grandma's bosom, and her in the prayer warriors would stand around me and lift me out. But now Grandma might be in the crackhouse, or she might be in a senior citizen center, or I might not even know who she is, you know. So some of the things, some of the things that we had in our community, in our village, in our culture that would support us in moving through these things, we don't have them anymore, so we have to come up with new ways. The other thing is people talk about mental health, but they still think of two words crazy and wrong, which then generates a lot of shame for black people. You can be fat, you can be ugly, you can be broke, but you can't be wrong. You know, it's cultural for us, as we were indoctrinated to believe that because our skin was dark and our hair was wooly, and because we came from a place called Africa where the majority of the people were dark with wooly hair, there's something wrong with us. We don't meet the standard, and we don't understand that. We carry that as a cellular memory in our DNA. So let me weigh five hundred pounds, and every medical facility wants to help me. Let me be ugly as the bottom of somebody's shoe, and I can go get some plastic surgery. But please don't let me be wrong. Don't let anything be wrong with me, okay, because then that triggers up that cellular memory of being inferior and being savage, and being beaten and being denigrated, dishonor disrespect. We don't understand that that still rings true within us. So while we talk about mental health, we still have these labels that we attached to it, and we don't think of it just as a form of health. It's health. Your mind needs to be healthy, and that's what mental health is. How do I get my mind healthy? It's nothing wrong with it, But the same way I can have breast cancer, or I can have diabetes, or I can have hypertension, or I can have gout or arthritis, that's health in the body. Mental health is simply health in the mind. And the things that give you gout give you gout, and the things that give you depression give you depression. And the things that give you cancer give you cancer. And the things that make you bipolar, make you buipolar. It's just health, and that's how we got to think about it.

Come on, if y'll checking in is on the right path. That is what we speak over here because we put mental health way over here, but our part of a vascular health, gynecological health, neural health, we all lump it over here. Yeah, it's like I've tell people, you know, some of the same mental health offices, psychiatric offices, psychologists. They're in the same building as your obgyn. It's not over there somewhere.

Come on, if y'll checking in is on the right path. That is what we speak over here because we put mental health way over here, but our part of a vascular health, gynecological health, neural health, we all lump it over here. Yeah, it's like I've tell people, you know, some of the same mental health offices, psychiatric offices, psychologists. They're in the same building as your obgyn. It's not over there somewhere.

The other thing that we don't give enough consideration to is that there are physiological influences on mental health. If there are certain imbalances and discordant energies in your physical body, it will affect your mind. My daughter had coalon cancer thirty one years old. Never drank, never smoke, had been a vegetarian for twenty two years, and she got coalon cancer. And they said it was a rare form of coalon cancer called familial palopopis, which is supposed to be ancestral. It runs through your bloodline. We couldn't find it in my side of the family or her father's side of family, but my mother did have breast cancer, so it may have just hipped the generation and showed up that way. But throughout her treatment, I mean it was just certain days it was like, who is this person and where did they come from? And in prayer one day, I was just reminded, the same disease that is affecting her body is affecting her mind. She is thinking with a diseased mind. You cannot expect her body to be affected by cancer and not have an impact on her mind. And I was like, oh my god, I never even thought about that. So there are physiological things that also lead to certain mental health imbalances or mental health challenges. I personally happened to believe that the whole notion of being bipolar what they used to call what did they had another name a manic depressive, manic depressed. It got to be bipolar about but.

The other thing that we don't give enough consideration to is that there are physiological influences on mental health. If there are certain imbalances and discordant energies in your physical body, it will affect your mind. My daughter had coalon cancer thirty one years old. Never drank, never smoke, had been a vegetarian for twenty two years, and she got coalon cancer. And they said it was a rare form of coalon cancer called familial palopopis, which is supposed to be ancestral. It runs through your bloodline. We couldn't find it in my side of the family or her father's side of family, but my mother did have breast cancer, so it may have just hipped the generation and showed up that way. But throughout her treatment, I mean it was just certain days it was like, who is this person and where did they come from? And in prayer one day, I was just reminded, the same disease that is affecting her body is affecting her mind. She is thinking with a diseased mind. You cannot expect her body to be affected by cancer and not have an impact on her mind. And I was like, oh my god, I never even thought about that. So there are physiological things that also lead to certain mental health imbalances or mental health challenges. I personally happened to believe that the whole notion of being bipolar what they used to call what did they had another name a manic depressive, manic depressed. It got to be bipolar about but.

Ten years ago, but I did not know that.

Ten years ago, but I did not know that.

Oh yeah, it was manic depressive, then it became bipolar. I happened to believe that there is such a powerful spiritual component to bipolarists that you can't fix with a pill. You can't fix that with a pill. There's something going on in there with the spirit that you got to address, you know, In African culture, it is believed that we have what's called an egg bay, and an egg bay is the union of our ancestors on the other side. Yes, and sometimes for many of us in our ancestral line people weren't buried with reverence. People weren't honored after they died. They were hung on trees enough there for days and then maybe dumped in a hole. But what happened to put that spirit to rest so that that spirit would have rest? You know now that the physical body is decayed, who's calling that person's name in prayer? So I personally believe that there are some spiritual imbalances in our ancestral lineage that also lend to the experience of bipolarism. That's just me. I'm crazy. Don't pay me no, mom.

Oh yeah, it was manic depressive, then it became bipolar. I happened to believe that there is such a powerful spiritual component to bipolarists that you can't fix with a pill. You can't fix that with a pill. There's something going on in there with the spirit that you got to address, you know, In African culture, it is believed that we have what's called an egg bay, and an egg bay is the union of our ancestors on the other side. Yes, and sometimes for many of us in our ancestral line people weren't buried with reverence. People weren't honored after they died. They were hung on trees enough there for days and then maybe dumped in a hole. But what happened to put that spirit to rest so that that spirit would have rest? You know now that the physical body is decayed, who's calling that person's name in prayer? So I personally believe that there are some spiritual imbalances in our ancestral lineage that also lend to the experience of bipolarism. That's just me. I'm crazy. Don't pay me no, mom.

I have never durned near stood up during it. And I can stand up because I got my breeches on below. So okay, okay, so okay, okay, you're helping me. You answered the why I've gotten so angry at people. Even lately in comments of certain people talking about therapy and Jesus therapy and spiritual reality, it's been said, well, you don't need this because you don't trust God enough, but I am so my cellular stuff is just going because you just answered why people have a disconnect between our mental health therapy that side and the spiritual side. It can be and it is both. And you can have prayer and like you said, you can have something going on in the mind, but you're still a great woman, You're still a successful man, but something's going on in the spirit.

I have never durned near stood up during it. And I can stand up because I got my breeches on below. So okay, okay, so okay, okay, you're helping me. You answered the why I've gotten so angry at people. Even lately in comments of certain people talking about therapy and Jesus therapy and spiritual reality, it's been said, well, you don't need this because you don't trust God enough, but I am so my cellular stuff is just going because you just answered why people have a disconnect between our mental health therapy that side and the spiritual side. It can be and it is both. And you can have prayer and like you said, you can have something going on in the mind, but you're still a great woman, You're still a successful man, but something's going on in the spirit.

Yeah. You know, think of your therapists as the gonecologists for your brains.

Yeah. You know, think of your therapists as the gonecologists for your brains.

You're talking right.

You're talking right.

You know you don't go to the godacologists to take care of that stuff and then not do everything else to take care of it. You know, your therapist is the gonecologists for your brain, or the theologists for your brain, or the.

You know you don't go to the godacologists to take care of that stuff and then not do everything else to take care of it. You know, your therapist is the gonecologists for your brain, or the theologists for your brain, or the.

Sound bite for the post.

Sound bite for the post.

Think of your sound bitts as the god ecologist for your brain. Got to go in there o corral, see what happening in what's going on, and then help you. And in terms of prayer, God uses people so you can pray and you can embrace whatever your faith walk is, whether it's Jesus or Buddha, Muhammad or I mean Allah or whatever it is. And maybe that divine entity is going to send you to the right gonecologist for your brain. Come on together, let me tell you a quick story. My birth mother died when I was two, and unfortunately, everybody either forgot or chose to tell me that my birth mother was an alcoholic. And it was discovered when she was carrying me that she had breast cancer and leukemia. And so I was born and she died when I was two years and three months old. And like I said, nobody ever told me grow up thinking one woman is my mother and she wasn't. I was thirty years old and I found out. But here's the point that I want to make. My mother was an alcoholic. I grew up. I never drank. Never. I don't dream this very day. My biggest drink is a is a Shirley Temple. And every now and then I'll have kolua and cream when I want to be grown.

Think of your sound bitts as the god ecologist for your brain. Got to go in there o corral, see what happening in what's going on, and then help you. And in terms of prayer, God uses people so you can pray and you can embrace whatever your faith walk is, whether it's Jesus or Buddha, Muhammad or I mean Allah or whatever it is. And maybe that divine entity is going to send you to the right gonecologist for your brain. Come on together, let me tell you a quick story. My birth mother died when I was two, and unfortunately, everybody either forgot or chose to tell me that my birth mother was an alcoholic. And it was discovered when she was carrying me that she had breast cancer and leukemia. And so I was born and she died when I was two years and three months old. And like I said, nobody ever told me grow up thinking one woman is my mother and she wasn't. I was thirty years old and I found out. But here's the point that I want to make. My mother was an alcoholic. I grew up. I never drank. Never. I don't dream this very day. My biggest drink is a is a Shirley Temple. And every now and then I'll have kolua and cream when I want to be grown.

Don't be grown. I thought she was gonna say ginger ale, but okay.

Don't be grown. I thought she was gonna say ginger ale, but okay.

A lou and cream. And then also my mother was the other woman. My father was married. My father was married, and he and his wife lived around the corner. My mother was his side piece, and she lived in my grandmother's house. My father's mother's house, and that's where I was born and my brother was born. And again, because I never knew her, I grew up all my life feeling guilty. I was always wrong. I always did something wrong, no matter what happened, it was my fault. I was bad. Blah blah blah blah blah. Fast forward. I was about thirty years old when I found out the truth about my mother being dead, being the other woman, and being the alcoholic, and through work, spiritual work, prayer and meditation and also working with I guess he was a therapist. I discovered this. Hear me that I marinated in the womb, first of all in liquor, so I probably had enough liquor in the womb. I didn't never need another drink, you know, I never I had probably you know, she was an alcoholic. I don't know what she was drinking, but probably. And the grace is, this is grace that I was not born with fetal alcohol syndrome. I wasn't not, but I was born within the emotional addiction, and it was guilt. I marinated in my mother's guilt of being the other woman. She was guilty and she was ashamed. So for most of I mean, I was pregnant at sixteen, pregnant at nineteen, lived in an abusive marriage, did so many things that engendered guilt within me, and I just lived it out until, with prayer, meditation and a good support system, discovered that the guilt that I was living, a shame that I was feeling, wasn't even mine, it was hers. I didn't have anything to be guilty about, anything to be ashamed of, but I marinated in it in the womb. Let me tell you something, Michelle. I'd work with that, and I researched it and I dug it, and it just became clear to me that many of us marinated in things in the womb. Shame, fear, guilt, aggression, loneliness, sadness, abandoned, abandoned, rejection, disappointment. That's what our mothers were experiencing. And it gets woven into the matrix of our DNA, of our cells, of our bone marrow, and we come forth with these issues and challenges and problems that affect our mental health and then not even ours, they're not even ours.

A lou and cream. And then also my mother was the other woman. My father was married. My father was married, and he and his wife lived around the corner. My mother was his side piece, and she lived in my grandmother's house. My father's mother's house, and that's where I was born and my brother was born. And again, because I never knew her, I grew up all my life feeling guilty. I was always wrong. I always did something wrong, no matter what happened, it was my fault. I was bad. Blah blah blah blah blah. Fast forward. I was about thirty years old when I found out the truth about my mother being dead, being the other woman, and being the alcoholic, and through work, spiritual work, prayer and meditation and also working with I guess he was a therapist. I discovered this. Hear me that I marinated in the womb, first of all in liquor, so I probably had enough liquor in the womb. I didn't never need another drink, you know, I never I had probably you know, she was an alcoholic. I don't know what she was drinking, but probably. And the grace is, this is grace that I was not born with fetal alcohol syndrome. I wasn't not, but I was born within the emotional addiction, and it was guilt. I marinated in my mother's guilt of being the other woman. She was guilty and she was ashamed. So for most of I mean, I was pregnant at sixteen, pregnant at nineteen, lived in an abusive marriage, did so many things that engendered guilt within me, and I just lived it out until, with prayer, meditation and a good support system, discovered that the guilt that I was living, a shame that I was feeling, wasn't even mine, it was hers. I didn't have anything to be guilty about, anything to be ashamed of, but I marinated in it in the womb. Let me tell you something, Michelle. I'd work with that, and I researched it and I dug it, and it just became clear to me that many of us marinated in things in the womb. Shame, fear, guilt, aggression, loneliness, sadness, abandoned, abandoned, rejection, disappointment. That's what our mothers were experiencing. And it gets woven into the matrix of our DNA, of our cells, of our bone marrow, and we come forth with these issues and challenges and problems that affect our mental health and then not even ours, they're not even ours.

So not only intergenerational, but what would you call it, intro wound, intrautero, something.

So not only intergenerational, but what would you call it, intro wound, intrautero, something.

In vitro, in vitro, you know, in utero, whatever you want to call it. My mother was a drunken hear me I say this. You don't say this because I'm gonna get you if you say it. My mother was a drunken hole who lived with shame and guilt. Now I can say that, and I want to say that to understand what she was experiencing so that I could forgive it a meal. But once I did the spiritual work of forgiveness for my then I also had to do the work required to shift my consciousness and my behavior. I'm not always wrong, it's not always my fault. It's not my responsibility. And I don't have to sneak around and hide round and not be the truth of who I am because my mother was the other woman. I'm telling you, it's all about mental health, and we need both. We need the prayer and the spiritual work, and we need somebody to help us unpack that. But how many of us don't even know our mother's story Because culturally, your mama is your mama. You don't ask her personal business. But I want to know who was you sleeping with? Was you holish? Was you drinking? Then just smoke some marijuana.

In vitro, in vitro, you know, in utero, whatever you want to call it. My mother was a drunken hear me I say this. You don't say this because I'm gonna get you if you say it. My mother was a drunken hole who lived with shame and guilt. Now I can say that, and I want to say that to understand what she was experiencing so that I could forgive it a meal. But once I did the spiritual work of forgiveness for my then I also had to do the work required to shift my consciousness and my behavior. I'm not always wrong, it's not always my fault. It's not my responsibility. And I don't have to sneak around and hide round and not be the truth of who I am because my mother was the other woman. I'm telling you, it's all about mental health, and we need both. We need the prayer and the spiritual work, and we need somebody to help us unpack that. But how many of us don't even know our mother's story Because culturally, your mama is your mama. You don't ask her personal business. But I want to know who was you sleeping with? Was you holish? Was you drinking? Then just smoke some marijuana.

And then like, Mama, you got any tips that you can give me for later? I want to ask you, but I want to affirm you. You must have did something right. I'm here, what was going on? Right? Right?

And then like, Mama, you got any tips that you can give me for later? I want to ask you, but I want to affirm you. You must have did something right. I'm here, what was going on? Right? Right?

And I want to know. This is a very simple thing, and many people who were here, I hope they will do it, and I also hope they realize how difficult it is. I ask your mother or your father, your parents, however, whatever, what was her love story? When I recognize my parents love story, can I tell you something didn't know? My mother died when I was two years three months old. I spent forty years in a relationship with a married man, just like my mother, and I never even knew who she was. Forty years in and out of a relationship with a married man.

And I want to know. This is a very simple thing, and many people who were here, I hope they will do it, and I also hope they realize how difficult it is. I ask your mother or your father, your parents, however, whatever, what was her love story? When I recognize my parents love story, can I tell you something didn't know? My mother died when I was two years three months old. I spent forty years in a relationship with a married man, just like my mother, and I never even knew who she was. Forty years in and out of a relationship with a married man.

So the same.

So the same.

Same thing, same pattern. It's called pathology. So ask your mother her love story. Where was she at mentally, emotionally, physically when she was in relationship with your dad? Where was who was she? Find out their love story, what brought them together, how they came together? And I guarantee you you're going to see pieces and parts and elements of that in your life. Mental and emotional and physical being. You're going to see it. So many of us get to depression or or mental imbalance at a certain age because we marinated in it.

Same thing, same pattern. It's called pathology. So ask your mother her love story. Where was she at mentally, emotionally, physically when she was in relationship with your dad? Where was who was she? Find out their love story, what brought them together, how they came together? And I guarantee you you're going to see pieces and parts and elements of that in your life. Mental and emotional and physical being. You're going to see it. So many of us get to depression or or mental imbalance at a certain age because we marinated in it.

So it is not our fault. But with what you are telling us right now is an opportunity and a God divine moment for it to be healed. You've heard it. You can't heal what's not revealed. You repeat what's not repaired. I don't know what to repair, so I'm repeating some I don't even know it's what I'm repeating because I think I think people think you're just doing your choices. No, it's pathology, yeah.

So it is not our fault. But with what you are telling us right now is an opportunity and a God divine moment for it to be healed. You've heard it. You can't heal what's not revealed. You repeat what's not repaired. I don't know what to repair, so I'm repeating some I don't even know it's what I'm repeating because I think I think people think you're just doing your choices. No, it's pathology, yeah.

It is, and it not your fault, but it is your responsibility. It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to do what is required to bring the level of healing you need, because you're healing for future generations and also for past generations, because as you clear it for you, you clean it up in your egg bay, your ancestors in the heavenly realm, you clean it up for them. Also, you lift them as you left, because they're alive in your DNA. Now that's just how I look at it as a crazy African native American that eats and gotta do lesson adults, gonna do less, do me, no mine, I don't know.

It is, and it not your fault, but it is your responsibility. It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to do what is required to bring the level of healing you need, because you're healing for future generations and also for past generations, because as you clear it for you, you clean it up in your egg bay, your ancestors in the heavenly realm, you clean it up for them. Also, you lift them as you left, because they're alive in your DNA. Now that's just how I look at it as a crazy African native American that eats and gotta do lesson adults, gonna do less, do me, no mine, I don't know.

You know so much, so much wisdom that is so divine. I promise you. I don't think I've gotten to one question that we had prepared.

You know so much, so much wisdom that is so divine. I promise you. I don't think I've gotten to one question that we had prepared.

Shut out.

Shut out.

No no, no, no, no no no, I don't mind. I don't mind. Spirit said other wise. Now considered everything that you have gone through, and you still decided to help other people. Other people could say, my mama left me too, my mama died, but they tru to live in that. What made you say I'm going to help others millions?

No no, no, no, no no no, I don't mind. I don't mind. Spirit said other wise. Now considered everything that you have gone through, and you still decided to help other people. Other people could say, my mama left me too, my mama died, but they tru to live in that. What made you say I'm going to help others millions?

I never said that. I never said it. It's about purpose, it's about your calling. I never said that I was trying to be in the black female Perry Mason. I want, I wanted. I I'm a criminal defense attorney. That's what I was trained for. That's what I thought. But once I got to law school and was practicing law, I realized I didn't go to law school to learn law. I went to law school to train my mind because I had never been taught how to think, and my mind was rabid and rampant with all manner of Wahalla and conflomeration. So I went to law school to learn how to think because I needed to learn how to think. And I know now I didn't know then when I was, you know, fifty seven thousand dollars in debt and we didn't have Biden's student forgiveness student law.

I never said that. I never said it. It's about purpose, it's about your calling. I never said that I was trying to be in the black female Perry Mason. I want, I wanted. I I'm a criminal defense attorney. That's what I was trained for. That's what I thought. But once I got to law school and was practicing law, I realized I didn't go to law school to learn law. I went to law school to train my mind because I had never been taught how to think, and my mind was rabid and rampant with all manner of Wahalla and conflomeration. So I went to law school to learn how to think because I needed to learn how to think. And I know now I didn't know then when I was, you know, fifty seven thousand dollars in debt and we didn't have Biden's student forgiveness student law.

I'm so mad, I said, Lord, I thank you for letting me be able to pay him in for but can I get my twenty k?

I'm so mad, I said, Lord, I thank you for letting me be able to pay him in for but can I get my twenty k?

No, I'm glad they're doing it now. You know, our twenty k or my forty seven thousand would be ninety thousand today.

No, I'm glad they're doing it now. You know, our twenty k or my forty seven thousand would be ninety thousand today.

That's true.

That's true.

I'm glad, like you said, Grace helped me pay it off. But I also realized that I went to law school so that I could recognize the discordance between man's law and God's law. That's why I went to law school because some of the things that are legal are totally unkind, unloving, and to God, they just are and I didn't recognize that. And I didn't know that, and so once I got it, wait a minute, I'm not here to defend man's law. I'm here to teach God's law. That is my purpose. I am a teacher, and teacher in the most ancient sense is an educator, and to educate is not to put in, to jucate or draw out. Education is about drawing out what's in because we all have the divinity, we all have the wisdom, we all have what we need inside, and the educational process or the process of education, is to draw it out. Unfortunately, somebody didn't get the memo, and what they do is they pour in, pour it in, remember this and regurgitated, Remember this and regurgitated. Read this, and tell me what you think about what they said. And it doesn't allow us to use the creative origins of our mind. Your mind is so creative and so powerful. But we are educated to total line. We're educated to look for external validation, and therefore we lose our inner authority. I didn't learn none of that until that Fay forty seven thousand dollars to get lost.

I'm glad, like you said, Grace helped me pay it off. But I also realized that I went to law school so that I could recognize the discordance between man's law and God's law. That's why I went to law school because some of the things that are legal are totally unkind, unloving, and to God, they just are and I didn't recognize that. And I didn't know that, and so once I got it, wait a minute, I'm not here to defend man's law. I'm here to teach God's law. That is my purpose. I am a teacher, and teacher in the most ancient sense is an educator, and to educate is not to put in, to jucate or draw out. Education is about drawing out what's in because we all have the divinity, we all have the wisdom, we all have what we need inside, and the educational process or the process of education, is to draw it out. Unfortunately, somebody didn't get the memo, and what they do is they pour in, pour it in, remember this and regurgitated, Remember this and regurgitated. Read this, and tell me what you think about what they said. And it doesn't allow us to use the creative origins of our mind. Your mind is so creative and so powerful. But we are educated to total line. We're educated to look for external validation, and therefore we lose our inner authority. I didn't learn none of that until that Fay forty seven thousand dollars to get lost.

So are you saying we can be so educated and we don't use intuition.

So are you saying we can be so educated and we don't use intuition.

No, we don't use intuition. We don't trust ourselves. We are programmed and condition not to trust ourselves. You tell somebody something brilliant, and they say, who told you that? They ain't gonna let you do that? You can't think it's too good to be true. Yeah, you can't, you know. And so I just got to the place and maybe because I'm from Brooklyn and we're kind of rowdy, you know, where, I said, this is what I'm doing and just you know, allowing spirit to guide me along the way. I didn't choose this. I was born for this or this perpose. I was born to do what I do. And it's it's frightening. It's been really really hard sometimes to be the ones saying things. I remember years ago when I used to show up just in African clothes and speaking African culture and people are like, what can't You've got to be out your mind, And now you know, Michael Korus is making African clothes. Mm hmm. I was. I've always been out ahead of myself, out ahead of my time. But now to see youngins and people like you coming up and talking and you know, the exers and the zeers and the wires. So it's been really yeah, really it's been. It's been a really powerful journey and I'm glad to still be on it.

No, we don't use intuition. We don't trust ourselves. We are programmed and condition not to trust ourselves. You tell somebody something brilliant, and they say, who told you that? They ain't gonna let you do that? You can't think it's too good to be true. Yeah, you can't, you know. And so I just got to the place and maybe because I'm from Brooklyn and we're kind of rowdy, you know, where, I said, this is what I'm doing and just you know, allowing spirit to guide me along the way. I didn't choose this. I was born for this or this perpose. I was born to do what I do. And it's it's frightening. It's been really really hard sometimes to be the ones saying things. I remember years ago when I used to show up just in African clothes and speaking African culture and people are like, what can't You've got to be out your mind, And now you know, Michael Korus is making African clothes. Mm hmm. I was. I've always been out ahead of myself, out ahead of my time. But now to see youngins and people like you coming up and talking and you know, the exers and the zeers and the wires. So it's been really yeah, really it's been. It's been a really powerful journey and I'm glad to still be on it.

You talk about the importance of development, personal development, Yes, I'm trying to curate even who I follow on social media, but I've had to do some unfollowing because it's this conditioning of get the bag, get the bag, get the bag, get the bag. Even somebody close to me, I was telling him about this Mastermind course that I was gonna invest in, and he said, I'm so glad that you're talking about your brand development. He was like, what about that personal I said, no.

You talk about the importance of development, personal development, Yes, I'm trying to curate even who I follow on social media, but I've had to do some unfollowing because it's this conditioning of get the bag, get the bag, get the bag, get the bag. Even somebody close to me, I was telling him about this Mastermind course that I was gonna invest in, and he said, I'm so glad that you're talking about your brand development. He was like, what about that personal I said, no.

You didn't.

You didn't.

We were all about the grind. Have you heard the saying while you were sleep, I was grinding. No, I'm taken nap right. But that personal development that you were driving throughout the years. Why is personal development so important?

We were all about the grind. Have you heard the saying while you were sleep, I was grinding. No, I'm taken nap right. But that personal development that you were driving throughout the years. Why is personal development so important?

Because it gives you the inner authority. That had the opportunity to go to Booie State University, one of the historically black colleges, and they had an incoming class of twelve hundred, and I spoke to them and two things happened that were shocking to me. First, they all knew who I was. These are eighteen nineteen year olds I didn't know they knew who I was. And not only did they know who I was, they were fans of fixing my life and they could tell me episodes and people and what happened to them people, and that was shocking to me. The next shocking thing to me was their willingness to be vulnerable. Young man stood up, thirty three years old, entering college for the first time, and talked about the fact that he was a victim of sex, that his mother was a drug addict, that she was trafficked and then he was trafficked. And he read yesterday I cried and that started him on its healing journey, his personal development. And another young woman stood up and talked about being sexually abused at the age of five, told her parents and they didn't believe her, and as a result of that, she developed OCD. And I said, to have OCDAL. Did they tell you had it? She said, no, they told me I had it. I said, and you believe them? She said, well, they diagnosed me. I said, well, what if your mind simply gave you something to focus on other than being raped, wouldn't that be wonderful? And now that you recognize that you were raped, you can now refocus your mind on something else. That's why personal development is important. We have to know what's true for us, what works for us, how we are influenced, what our triggers are, and We don't get that by other people telling us what to eat, what to drink, what to sleep, to want, what to wear. You have to do your work and the place that it shows up most frequently where we can begin to identify what's off, what's in balance, what we're feeling, what's triggering, is in our relationships. That's why I'm doing our spot because we need tools to build relationships. We need to develop to the degree where we can be whole and complete in or out of a relationship. Because we've been programmed, in conditioned to believe that somebody else makes us whole. Either it's your teacher or your boss, or your job, or your pasta or your usher membership or your choir membership, or it is the friends you got on Facebook. These are the things that make you whole. No, no, you come whole complete, and you need to learn how to trust that, honor that live, that integrate that so that when you get into a relationship, be it a love ship or in your family ships, or in your workships, whatever it is, that your whole, both feet on the ground solid, make me whole. First of all, I'm a woman and you're a man, and I don't want to grow a penis. So you keep your penis over there. I keep my huha over here. You know, yes, I don't. I want to come to you whole. I don't want to come to you broken. But because we're not taught how to develop our intuition, how to speak our truth, how to have a voice, how to stand up for ourselves lovingly and kindly honoring other people. Because we're not taught those things. We're taught to total line, kyletow keep the status quo. Please, other people seek external validation. We're whimps and cripples when it comes to relationships.

Because it gives you the inner authority. That had the opportunity to go to Booie State University, one of the historically black colleges, and they had an incoming class of twelve hundred, and I spoke to them and two things happened that were shocking to me. First, they all knew who I was. These are eighteen nineteen year olds I didn't know they knew who I was. And not only did they know who I was, they were fans of fixing my life and they could tell me episodes and people and what happened to them people, and that was shocking to me. The next shocking thing to me was their willingness to be vulnerable. Young man stood up, thirty three years old, entering college for the first time, and talked about the fact that he was a victim of sex, that his mother was a drug addict, that she was trafficked and then he was trafficked. And he read yesterday I cried and that started him on its healing journey, his personal development. And another young woman stood up and talked about being sexually abused at the age of five, told her parents and they didn't believe her, and as a result of that, she developed OCD. And I said, to have OCDAL. Did they tell you had it? She said, no, they told me I had it. I said, and you believe them? She said, well, they diagnosed me. I said, well, what if your mind simply gave you something to focus on other than being raped, wouldn't that be wonderful? And now that you recognize that you were raped, you can now refocus your mind on something else. That's why personal development is important. We have to know what's true for us, what works for us, how we are influenced, what our triggers are, and We don't get that by other people telling us what to eat, what to drink, what to sleep, to want, what to wear. You have to do your work and the place that it shows up most frequently where we can begin to identify what's off, what's in balance, what we're feeling, what's triggering, is in our relationships. That's why I'm doing our spot because we need tools to build relationships. We need to develop to the degree where we can be whole and complete in or out of a relationship. Because we've been programmed, in conditioned to believe that somebody else makes us whole. Either it's your teacher or your boss, or your job, or your pasta or your usher membership or your choir membership, or it is the friends you got on Facebook. These are the things that make you whole. No, no, you come whole complete, and you need to learn how to trust that, honor that live, that integrate that so that when you get into a relationship, be it a love ship or in your family ships, or in your workships, whatever it is, that your whole, both feet on the ground solid, make me whole. First of all, I'm a woman and you're a man, and I don't want to grow a penis. So you keep your penis over there. I keep my huha over here. You know, yes, I don't. I want to come to you whole. I don't want to come to you broken. But because we're not taught how to develop our intuition, how to speak our truth, how to have a voice, how to stand up for ourselves lovingly and kindly honoring other people. Because we're not taught those things. We're taught to total line, kyletow keep the status quo. Please, other people seek external validation. We're whimps and cripples when it comes to relationships.

Yes, I will agree. Oh, but you can't tell us nothing about getting the money, honey. We are experts on that, but are emotional intelligence.

Yes, I will agree. Oh, but you can't tell us nothing about getting the money, honey. We are experts on that, but are emotional intelligence.

But when not experts on getting the money, because we think that money comes from outside of us, and the truth is money money. My own natural energy yield my own energy, what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling. Most people hate their jobs, and then they wonder why they broke. They work and work and work and work, and can never seem to get what they want. Because my own natural energy, what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, how I'm living, yields me a return yields me a return. So we think that money comes from outside of us. It comes from inside of us. It just manifests outside and what you think about money, how you feel about money. That's why you got to grind. I don't have to grind. All I have to do is have a clear vision and a clear intention and be aligned with the energy freaky of what the desire.

But when not experts on getting the money, because we think that money comes from outside of us, and the truth is money money. My own natural energy yield my own energy, what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling. Most people hate their jobs, and then they wonder why they broke. They work and work and work and work, and can never seem to get what they want. Because my own natural energy, what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, how I'm living, yields me a return yields me a return. So we think that money comes from outside of us. It comes from inside of us. It just manifests outside and what you think about money, how you feel about money. That's why you got to grind. I don't have to grind. All I have to do is have a clear vision and a clear intention and be aligned with the energy freaky of what the desire.

Wow, beautiful. Well, I want to say when you ended Fix my Life for the reason that you ended, courageous maybe is the word, because you were on an amazing network of fixing my life. And if I'm correct, I believe you ended it because you were like the energy that was coming from people on the outside. You was like, uh uh, I can't do that. I'm not going to allow people to do darts and social media everybody feels like they have access to throw darts at you. But I'm so glad you are on the R spot on Shondaland because I was like, oh, where's she going? We need you, we need you. Was that a hard decision to end Fix my Life? No?

Wow, beautiful. Well, I want to say when you ended Fix my Life for the reason that you ended, courageous maybe is the word, because you were on an amazing network of fixing my life. And if I'm correct, I believe you ended it because you were like the energy that was coming from people on the outside. You was like, uh uh, I can't do that. I'm not going to allow people to do darts and social media everybody feels like they have access to throw darts at you. But I'm so glad you are on the R spot on Shondaland because I was like, oh, where's she going? We need you, we need you. Was that a hard decision to end Fix my Life? No?

I woke up one morning in spirits say this is done, get out? I said, okay, easy? Is that I'm done. You know, the process of doing it. It was like I and then once I got that instruction, I swear everything and fix my life was It was a joy for me. I had a beautiful crew, I had a beautiful time. It was a you know, every day in my soul. I just thank Oprah Winfrey for having the courage to mount something like fix my Life, which had never been seen, and I hope we'll be seen in some iteration. It is.

I woke up one morning in spirits say this is done, get out? I said, okay, easy? Is that I'm done. You know, the process of doing it. It was like I and then once I got that instruction, I swear everything and fix my life was It was a joy for me. I had a beautiful crew, I had a beautiful time. It was a you know, every day in my soul. I just thank Oprah Winfrey for having the courage to mount something like fix my Life, which had never been seen, and I hope we'll be seen in some iteration. It is.

Well, let me tell you why it is, because memes forever. Do you know which one of them I'm about to call out?

Well, let me tell you why it is, because memes forever. Do you know which one of them I'm about to call out?

You know what? I didn't even know what a meme was. People had to tell me.

You know what? I didn't even know what a meme was. People had to tell me.

I just learned, is a gift or Jiff, some Evan or gis se see. You know I didn't it was a gift, jiff, same thing. Okay, so I'm gonna do it. Y'all turn your volume down. But this was right here, not.

I just learned, is a gift or Jiff, some Evan or gis se see. You know I didn't it was a gift, jiff, same thing. Okay, so I'm gonna do it. Y'all turn your volume down. But this was right here, not.

On my watch.

On my watch.

Watch, not on my watch. I was like, does she have T shirts, a mug, a candle? I do know you have Masterpiece Body Therapy, which is a Bathom body product that's traditionally made with sacred herbs, oils, love, and prayer. Not on my watch, But it let me know how clear you are on boundaries. Yeah, how you made us aware of boundaries also to be careful about what comes out of our mouths. You've stopped many people, don't you say that? On not on my watch? Yes? Yes, so boundaries and being careful about what comes out of our mouth. You kind of spoke to it a little bit. Why are you so clear about the importance of boundaries?

Watch, not on my watch. I was like, does she have T shirts, a mug, a candle? I do know you have Masterpiece Body Therapy, which is a Bathom body product that's traditionally made with sacred herbs, oils, love, and prayer. Not on my watch, But it let me know how clear you are on boundaries. Yeah, how you made us aware of boundaries also to be careful about what comes out of our mouths. You've stopped many people, don't you say that? On not on my watch? Yes? Yes, so boundaries and being careful about what comes out of our mouth. You kind of spoke to it a little bit. Why are you so clear about the importance of boundaries?

Because people lied to me about my mother, and people violated, made choices for me that I didn't get to participate in. And because by people not having clear boundaries, safe boundaries, I was violated and abused as a child. Just a boundary, not a wall, not offence, but a boundary meaning allowing people to know what is and is not acceptable in your life. You got to do it, and you've got to hold your boundaries and they have to be solid and they have to keep you safe. And again, a boundaries, not a wall. There are two different things. I did a whole lesson on boundaries. Boundaries keep you safe and boundaries teach other people what they can expect from you. And they are a statement of what you expect from other people. And in this life you don't get what you ask for. You get what you expect. You always get what you expect. So if you expect people to honor you and to be kind and loving in a certain way, you've got to have clear boundaries. So that's very important to me. You know, I lived them from birth till thirty under a lie because people didn't have they violated my boundaries. I had a right to know who my mother was and the fact that she no longer inhabited a body, and for people to take that away from me and live a lie and my stepmother was my angel. I mean, it makes perfectly sense to me, but to mere fact that I lived a lie, it really you want to talk about something impacting your mental health, you know. So yeah, that's why boundaries are important. And the other thing is again, as a Native American, as a descendant of Africans, you know, in Lacotta tradition, my name is ya eo piapi, which means the people recognize her voice. And in my YEurope lineage, my name is eyam Lah, which means great mother. So I am the great mother of whom people recognize my voice. Traditions and my culture they all blend together. But in both of those traditions, we believe that the essence and the power of the soul comes through the voice. You know, if you go to any Native American celebration ceremony, you really hear words, you hear sounds, you know, hey, oh yea. And then in African culture, everything is a song. Everything is a song, even in African American culture. You know when the pastor gets into that sing song in the Lord is with you, ha, you know, yes, oh and on. You know, because of the power of the soul that comes through the voice. So we have to be much more mindful of what's coming out of our mouth because the mouth is a wound, and what comes out of it you're giving birth to. So when you're speaking, I'm tired, I'm crazy, you get all my nerves, I'm broke, I don't want You're given births. So if we start to think of our mouth as a womb that is perpetually given birth, we want to be careful. We don't want to have you know, deformed children and mentally had the cap children and you know, meaning with the words that we're speaking, because they're going to come to life, They're going to come to life. People say all the time, I'm broke, I'm broken, But no, you're not broke. You're temporarily out of cash. Because when you say i'm broke, you're talking about your being. So that could be a broken heart or broken mind, a broken leg, a broken body, a broken home. Stop saying not yes, I'm confused. No, no, no, I'm not aware in this moment of what's the best thing for me to do. Stop saying you confuse, because that's a baby that you just birthed about the womb you know of your tongue.

Because people lied to me about my mother, and people violated, made choices for me that I didn't get to participate in. And because by people not having clear boundaries, safe boundaries, I was violated and abused as a child. Just a boundary, not a wall, not offence, but a boundary meaning allowing people to know what is and is not acceptable in your life. You got to do it, and you've got to hold your boundaries and they have to be solid and they have to keep you safe. And again, a boundaries, not a wall. There are two different things. I did a whole lesson on boundaries. Boundaries keep you safe and boundaries teach other people what they can expect from you. And they are a statement of what you expect from other people. And in this life you don't get what you ask for. You get what you expect. You always get what you expect. So if you expect people to honor you and to be kind and loving in a certain way, you've got to have clear boundaries. So that's very important to me. You know, I lived them from birth till thirty under a lie because people didn't have they violated my boundaries. I had a right to know who my mother was and the fact that she no longer inhabited a body, and for people to take that away from me and live a lie and my stepmother was my angel. I mean, it makes perfectly sense to me, but to mere fact that I lived a lie, it really you want to talk about something impacting your mental health, you know. So yeah, that's why boundaries are important. And the other thing is again, as a Native American, as a descendant of Africans, you know, in Lacotta tradition, my name is ya eo piapi, which means the people recognize her voice. And in my YEurope lineage, my name is eyam Lah, which means great mother. So I am the great mother of whom people recognize my voice. Traditions and my culture they all blend together. But in both of those traditions, we believe that the essence and the power of the soul comes through the voice. You know, if you go to any Native American celebration ceremony, you really hear words, you hear sounds, you know, hey, oh yea. And then in African culture, everything is a song. Everything is a song, even in African American culture. You know when the pastor gets into that sing song in the Lord is with you, ha, you know, yes, oh and on. You know, because of the power of the soul that comes through the voice. So we have to be much more mindful of what's coming out of our mouth because the mouth is a wound, and what comes out of it you're giving birth to. So when you're speaking, I'm tired, I'm crazy, you get all my nerves, I'm broke, I don't want You're given births. So if we start to think of our mouth as a womb that is perpetually given birth, we want to be careful. We don't want to have you know, deformed children and mentally had the cap children and you know, meaning with the words that we're speaking, because they're going to come to life, They're going to come to life. People say all the time, I'm broke, I'm broken, But no, you're not broke. You're temporarily out of cash. Because when you say i'm broke, you're talking about your being. So that could be a broken heart or broken mind, a broken leg, a broken body, a broken home. Stop saying not yes, I'm confused. No, no, no, I'm not aware in this moment of what's the best thing for me to do. Stop saying you confuse, because that's a baby that you just birthed about the womb you know of your tongue.

Yes, yes, we speak our future. I probably say it every other podcast. But a friend of mine brought to my attention the meaning of the word future. He said, Michelle, what do you think the word future means? I said, something to come. He said, no, I just learned what it meant. I said, I hate that you're almost forty and you're just now learning what the work future means. But it's exactly what you're saying, miss Yanla. The work future means the time or period of time following the moment of speaking or writing.

Yes, yes, we speak our future. I probably say it every other podcast. But a friend of mine brought to my attention the meaning of the word future. He said, Michelle, what do you think the word future means? I said, something to come. He said, no, I just learned what it meant. I said, I hate that you're almost forty and you're just now learning what the work future means. But it's exactly what you're saying, miss Yanla. The work future means the time or period of time following the moment of speaking or writing.

That's right, it's in the or thinking or thinking. Yeah, cause thank your future too. You can.

That's right, it's in the or thinking or thinking. Yeah, cause thank your future too. You can.

You have been absolutely amazing. I'm thinking I said, I just want to come to your house, sit at your feet, and should I say cook for you. I don't want you to have to do nothing.

You have been absolutely amazing. I'm thinking I said, I just want to come to your house, sit at your feet, and should I say cook for you. I don't want you to have to do nothing.

No, you come to my house. I'm gonna cook for you anytime on the deck. We'll go sit on the deck in piece and freedom or jump around and my grandson will interrupt our conversation every forty five seconds.

No, you come to my house. I'm gonna cook for you anytime on the deck. We'll go sit on the deck in piece and freedom or jump around and my grandson will interrupt our conversation every forty five seconds.

I am here for it all, Miss Eana Vinzen, Thank you so much for checking in with us.