Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. I know y'all are like, wait a minute, Michelle, you better get to talking about what happened at that birthday party. We all saw the picture, We saw you, Kelly and Beyonce looking all good and fine. Aunt, you better tell us, tell us what happened. Okay, I'll give you a teensch of tea. Coming up next on Checking Again with Michelle Williams. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you are. I am so honored and blessed to have people who listen to my podcast from many parts of the world. I better start acknowledging the various time zones. So that's why I started off with good morning, good afternoon, or good evening. And again, thank you so much for subscribing and downloading my podcast, Checking In with Michelle Williams. What a joy, what an honor. As we begin to go into a fourth season that will be coming up soon, I'm excited about going into a fourth season of my podcast. If you would, please please please let me know guess that you want to hear topics that you want me to discuss any constructive criticism. I'm here for it because I want to make the fourth season amazing. Okay, all right, I'm sure that you all you know I'll saw a picture floating around of me, Kelly Rowland and beyond say Nol's Carter. I know y'all saw it. Everybody's talking about it. Everybody tagged me in this picture. And it was taken at my good friend Tim Weatherspoon's fiftieth birthday party. Now what people don't know, well some of you know. Tim even said it better than I did. He was telling someone. He said, man, I knew a t T when she was born, so that means he has known of me for forty four years. And I would say, gosh, I don't even know if I was in the double digits when we finally actually met in person. His family moved about an hour outside of Rockford, and they started coming to the church my home, church, Saint Paul Church of God in Christ and Tim is a drummer. Slash was a drummer. He doesn't play anymore, but he was the drummer, one of the drummers at the church. And his mom is Slash was a choir director. She lives in Phoenix, and so I'm not sure if she's still directing the choir at her church in Phoenix or not. But yes, that is how long I have known Tim Wetherspoon. So we're just gonna say on Instagram, I said thirty five years plus. Let's go on ahead and say thirty eight years plus, okay, because I'm gonna give him some wiggar rooms since he's a little older than me. So definitely we were so young. And Tim and my brother, my cousin Dry, they're all like best of friends. He was a groomsman in Dary's wedding. So we go way, way, way, way, way way back. And Tim was one of the first that I told about the opportunity to sing background from Monica. He was also one of the first of my good friends that I told about the opportunity to join Destiny's Child. And he has always been a supporter, always been a great friend, a listening ear. And so Tim and my close friend Byko, whom I went to college with. Tim and by Ko they would come on the road with us sometimes and we would all have so much fun. They were the guys who could come on the road with us. And it was when I tell y'all pure fun, and I mean pure in every sense of the word. They weren't trying to talk to us, they weren't trying to sleep with us. They that's what made them so safe. And they were also the friend. Tim is also the friend where like if he was watching the show and somebody flubbed a word or a step, he was the type of person that would be like, hey, I heard you mess up that lyric, Like he wasn't afraid to like call it out, you know what I mean. So just an amazing friend, not the friendliest. He can be a butthole slash asshole. Okay, okay, okay, I said it, but these this is something I've said to him. But he somehow has the most friends in the world. How are some of the most unfriendly people have the most friends. I'm trying to y'all help me with that tneture, Michelle don't understand, so anyo. Any who? Fast forward into like years later, he finally admits his crush on Kelly Rowland, that Kelly Rowland is his living like he just was like, she's like, she's so gorgeous, She's like a Barbie doll. She's amazing and so they begin to talk on their own terms, and and here we are, y'all years later of their blossoming marriage. And I'm so glad that, uh that that he's my friend. He's still my friend, you know what I mean. And I'm so glad that, Kelly, because let me tell you something I could imagine. I'm not sure, I don't know, but I do have male friends who are married, and you would have to respect, you know, the dynamics of a married person's relationship. And so I am so so so glad that that I've got a friend in Tim, and I've still, of course have my friend in Collingdria Trenee Roland. So she asked Beyonce and I would we sing Happy Birthday to Tim? And we were like, yes, of course, of course, of course, and we had a blast creating it. The birthday song consisted of only harmonies that, oh my gosh, it took us back. It took us back to the days of learning songs and just harmonizing at anything that will come on the radio. And I had this amazing idea. I was like, y'all, I just let's let's let's do this birthday song. Like the group emotions like the emotions like the soul and the and the nine notes and the certain the soulful harmonies and yeah, So I don't know if video's ever gonna come out of that. I don't know if audio's ever gonna come. I have the video. I have the video of a singing happy Birthday to our good friend and Kelly's good baby daddy husband, Tim Weatherspoon. I got it, But of course, like any other video or picture that I have, it's not coming from me. So if it comes out, it's because Tim or Kellie posted it, But it ain't coming from me. I know a friend of mine text me and say, YO, send me that, and like bruh, I can't. As close as we are and as much as I trust you, I'm not sending it to newbody, all right. So his birthday party was just just so it makes you appreciate life, and it makes you. It made me also consider my circle, you know who's in my life. And he did not want to party, but he realized that it was something that he needed of knowing how much he's loved and adored, respected, And Tim really has great insight and perspective on music, the arts, life, just really good people and so his party reflected that, and I was so glad to be there to witness the love that everybody has for Tim. Okay. So yeah, everybody was in all black. It was awesome. Everybody dressed to their best and you know, some people were a little more casual, but still fly. I was just like, Wow, everybody in here is fly. I love it. So I just asked that you, those that are listening, reflect on your circle and may this year be the year that you stop letting people play in your face. May this year be the year that you tell people how they make you feel, whether they make you feel inspired or say, man, you hurt my feelings when you said this, or when you talked to me like this. You hurt my feelings when you dismissed a vulnerable moment that I shoul shared. Y'all, let this be the year, because I really think when we don't share how we really feel. I know, for me personally, it's taking a toll on my mental health with I don't share what I really need to say. And we too grown, we too old to let people play in our face and treat us or make people feel like they can talk to you any kind of way. Or like, we're not doing that, not this year, not in twenty twenty four. So I know a lot of people. A friend of mine said, yo, I'll tell it. It was Jonathan mcmcreynolds. We were at a birthday party for someone else recently as well, and he said, y'all, you got so much joy and peace, and I'm gonna have even more joy and peace in twenty twenty four. I'm telling you, I will be forty five this year, and I am making it my goal year after year to have those roots of taking care of my mental health, which is joy, peace boundaries. Also a part I think that I'm learning this year as well is really tackling the hard things sooner, not procrastinating when it comes to heart decisions or difficult conversations that need to be had. If you say you're grown, a part of being grown is being able to have difficult conversations. And I think the reason of why we aren't able to have difficult conversations is fear. We're fearful of the other person's response, We're fearful of what's gonna happen too or in the relationship. If we have to have a difficult conversation and nine times out of ten. I didn't say ten out of ten, but because this always gonna be that one, but nine times out of ten, the person on the receiving and will be able to appreciate you coming to them with something that you probably deemed difficult. And you can even probably start off the conversation by saying, hey, this is difficult for me because I hate having to have hard conversations, but because I love you and because I believe you love me, or you can say like, because we've got to work together and we want to do our best and reach our goal. Ooh, this is a hard conversation. I'm just being vulnerable. I'm being open to you right now and tell you this is difficult, and then you can go in to what it is that you need to say, can you practice that? Can you do it? I know you can. That's what checking in is going to be all about in twenty twenty four, continuing and tackling the hard things. So I'm excited for this new year for you. If I haven't said it, happy new Year, Let's go. Oh. We had a prior discussion with doctor Rob Singleton, who is absolutely amazing and making sure that we always say disclaimers. When I have doctors on that, you know, it's not intended to diagnose, it's not intended to treat, But it is their own personal opinion, just like you know, if I'm gonna share things with you, it's my personal personal opinion as well. Also it's also my personal journey or testimony. Even when I'm talking about right now having difficult conversations, I'm walking through that literally as we speak, having difficult conversations knowing that I am empowered. I have everything on the inside of me to do what it takes to have a difficult conversation that's gonna have an amazing outcome. Understanding and clarity for the most part, is really the outcomes that I desire, clarity and understanding, because sometimes I'd be a little slow. I'd be like, I didn't maybe that went over my head. Maybe I need to check in with this person, be like, what did you mean when you?

Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. I know y'all are like, wait a minute, Michelle, you better get to talking about what happened at that birthday party. We all saw the picture, We saw you, Kelly and Beyonce looking all good and fine. Aunt, you better tell us, tell us what happened. Okay, I'll give you a teensch of tea. Coming up next on Checking Again with Michelle Williams. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you are. I am so honored and blessed to have people who listen to my podcast from many parts of the world. I better start acknowledging the various time zones. So that's why I started off with good morning, good afternoon, or good evening. And again, thank you so much for subscribing and downloading my podcast, Checking In with Michelle Williams. What a joy, what an honor. As we begin to go into a fourth season that will be coming up soon, I'm excited about going into a fourth season of my podcast. If you would, please please please let me know guess that you want to hear topics that you want me to discuss any constructive criticism. I'm here for it because I want to make the fourth season amazing. Okay, all right, I'm sure that you all you know I'll saw a picture floating around of me, Kelly Rowland and beyond say Nol's Carter. I know y'all saw it. Everybody's talking about it. Everybody tagged me in this picture. And it was taken at my good friend Tim Weatherspoon's fiftieth birthday party. Now what people don't know, well some of you know. Tim even said it better than I did. He was telling someone. He said, man, I knew a t T when she was born, so that means he has known of me for forty four years. And I would say, gosh, I don't even know if I was in the double digits when we finally actually met in person. His family moved about an hour outside of Rockford, and they started coming to the church my home, church, Saint Paul Church of God in Christ and Tim is a drummer. Slash was a drummer. He doesn't play anymore, but he was the drummer, one of the drummers at the church. And his mom is Slash was a choir director. She lives in Phoenix, and so I'm not sure if she's still directing the choir at her church in Phoenix or not. But yes, that is how long I have known Tim Wetherspoon. So we're just gonna say on Instagram, I said thirty five years plus. Let's go on ahead and say thirty eight years plus, okay, because I'm gonna give him some wiggar rooms since he's a little older than me. So definitely we were so young. And Tim and my brother, my cousin Dry, they're all like best of friends. He was a groomsman in Dary's wedding. So we go way, way, way, way, way way back. And Tim was one of the first that I told about the opportunity to sing background from Monica. He was also one of the first of my good friends that I told about the opportunity to join Destiny's Child. And he has always been a supporter, always been a great friend, a listening ear. And so Tim and my close friend Byko, whom I went to college with. Tim and by Ko they would come on the road with us sometimes and we would all have so much fun. They were the guys who could come on the road with us. And it was when I tell y'all pure fun, and I mean pure in every sense of the word. They weren't trying to talk to us, they weren't trying to sleep with us. They that's what made them so safe. And they were also the friend. Tim is also the friend where like if he was watching the show and somebody flubbed a word or a step, he was the type of person that would be like, hey, I heard you mess up that lyric, Like he wasn't afraid to like call it out, you know what I mean. So just an amazing friend, not the friendliest. He can be a butthole slash asshole. Okay, okay, okay, I said it, but these this is something I've said to him. But he somehow has the most friends in the world. How are some of the most unfriendly people have the most friends. I'm trying to y'all help me with that tneture, Michelle don't understand, so anyo. Any who? Fast forward into like years later, he finally admits his crush on Kelly Rowland, that Kelly Rowland is his living like he just was like, she's like, she's so gorgeous, She's like a Barbie doll. She's amazing and so they begin to talk on their own terms, and and here we are, y'all years later of their blossoming marriage. And I'm so glad that, uh that that he's my friend. He's still my friend, you know what I mean. And I'm so glad that, Kelly, because let me tell you something I could imagine. I'm not sure, I don't know, but I do have male friends who are married, and you would have to respect, you know, the dynamics of a married person's relationship. And so I am so so so glad that that I've got a friend in Tim, and I've still, of course have my friend in Collingdria Trenee Roland. So she asked Beyonce and I would we sing Happy Birthday to Tim? And we were like, yes, of course, of course, of course, and we had a blast creating it. The birthday song consisted of only harmonies that, oh my gosh, it took us back. It took us back to the days of learning songs and just harmonizing at anything that will come on the radio. And I had this amazing idea. I was like, y'all, I just let's let's let's do this birthday song. Like the group emotions like the emotions like the soul and the and the nine notes and the certain the soulful harmonies and yeah, So I don't know if video's ever gonna come out of that. I don't know if audio's ever gonna come. I have the video. I have the video of a singing happy Birthday to our good friend and Kelly's good baby daddy husband, Tim Weatherspoon. I got it, But of course, like any other video or picture that I have, it's not coming from me. So if it comes out, it's because Tim or Kellie posted it, But it ain't coming from me. I know a friend of mine text me and say, YO, send me that, and like bruh, I can't. As close as we are and as much as I trust you, I'm not sending it to newbody, all right. So his birthday party was just just so it makes you appreciate life, and it makes you. It made me also consider my circle, you know who's in my life. And he did not want to party, but he realized that it was something that he needed of knowing how much he's loved and adored, respected, And Tim really has great insight and perspective on music, the arts, life, just really good people and so his party reflected that, and I was so glad to be there to witness the love that everybody has for Tim. Okay. So yeah, everybody was in all black. It was awesome. Everybody dressed to their best and you know, some people were a little more casual, but still fly. I was just like, Wow, everybody in here is fly. I love it. So I just asked that you, those that are listening, reflect on your circle and may this year be the year that you stop letting people play in your face. May this year be the year that you tell people how they make you feel, whether they make you feel inspired or say, man, you hurt my feelings when you said this, or when you talked to me like this. You hurt my feelings when you dismissed a vulnerable moment that I shoul shared. Y'all, let this be the year, because I really think when we don't share how we really feel. I know, for me personally, it's taking a toll on my mental health with I don't share what I really need to say. And we too grown, we too old to let people play in our face and treat us or make people feel like they can talk to you any kind of way. Or like, we're not doing that, not this year, not in twenty twenty four. So I know a lot of people. A friend of mine said, yo, I'll tell it. It was Jonathan mcmcreynolds. We were at a birthday party for someone else recently as well, and he said, y'all, you got so much joy and peace, and I'm gonna have even more joy and peace in twenty twenty four. I'm telling you, I will be forty five this year, and I am making it my goal year after year to have those roots of taking care of my mental health, which is joy, peace boundaries. Also a part I think that I'm learning this year as well is really tackling the hard things sooner, not procrastinating when it comes to heart decisions or difficult conversations that need to be had. If you say you're grown, a part of being grown is being able to have difficult conversations. And I think the reason of why we aren't able to have difficult conversations is fear. We're fearful of the other person's response, We're fearful of what's gonna happen too or in the relationship. If we have to have a difficult conversation and nine times out of ten. I didn't say ten out of ten, but because this always gonna be that one, but nine times out of ten, the person on the receiving and will be able to appreciate you coming to them with something that you probably deemed difficult. And you can even probably start off the conversation by saying, hey, this is difficult for me because I hate having to have hard conversations, but because I love you and because I believe you love me, or you can say like, because we've got to work together and we want to do our best and reach our goal. Ooh, this is a hard conversation. I'm just being vulnerable. I'm being open to you right now and tell you this is difficult, and then you can go in to what it is that you need to say, can you practice that? Can you do it? I know you can. That's what checking in is going to be all about in twenty twenty four, continuing and tackling the hard things. So I'm excited for this new year for you. If I haven't said it, happy new Year, Let's go. Oh. We had a prior discussion with doctor Rob Singleton, who is absolutely amazing and making sure that we always say disclaimers. When I have doctors on that, you know, it's not intended to diagnose, it's not intended to treat, But it is their own personal opinion, just like you know, if I'm gonna share things with you, it's my personal personal opinion as well. Also it's also my personal journey or testimony. Even when I'm talking about right now having difficult conversations, I'm walking through that literally as we speak, having difficult conversations knowing that I am empowered. I have everything on the inside of me to do what it takes to have a difficult conversation that's gonna have an amazing outcome. Understanding and clarity for the most part, is really the outcomes that I desire, clarity and understanding, because sometimes I'd be a little slow. I'd be like, I didn't maybe that went over my head. Maybe I need to check in with this person, be like, what did you mean when you?

Oh?

Oh?

Oh, okay, see, okay, okay, okay, got you. I'm glad I checked in. Okay, all right, Thank y'all so much for going with me there. But y'all, I just saw the funniest article. It's an interesting article from the Guardian, a science editor by the name of Ian sample he wrote and says that teenagers with more siblings have worse mental health. Study suggest study of children in US and China found larger in I packed when brothers and sisters were closely spaced in age. So, y'all, there's four of us total, but the first three we're all two years apart, and I'm just wondering, what is there some truth to this? The researchers asked nine one hundred eighth graders in the US and nine four hundred in China with an average age of fourteen, a range of questions about their mental health, from canaan Abel and the Brothers Kismasov to Cinderella. The warmth and support provided by siblings has hardly been taken for granted. Now, reachers have found that children who moan about their brothers and sisters may have good reason to complain. The more siblings teenagers have, the more it hits their happiness, they claim. It says that the study of the secondary school children in the US and China found that those from larger families had slightly poorer mental health than those from smaller families. The greatest impact was seen in families with multiple children born less than a year apart. Oh, I was gonna say, because me and my siblings, Yeah, we had normal quarrels, quarrels, quarrels growing up. Oh my gosh. Wow. So it's saying that if they were closer in age, maybe this can answer some of y'all's questions. So it says that in China, the teenagers with no siblings fared best for mental health, and then children who had no siblings or only one were found to have similar mental health. So what they're saying is in China and the US, if you had no siblings or only one, you had better mental health than those who had more siblings. Oh my gosh, and with greater impact seeing for teenagers with older siblings and when brothers and sisters were closely spaced in age. Wow, I can see that I have a cousin she has well, I'll take from my own family. So there's three siblings and then my baby sister, Danielle, born in nineteen ninety one. And I feel like, you know, by the time I went away to college and then just began working professionally in music, I believe I did miss out on a lot of her milestones and a lot of those great moments, so we would have to ask her and my cousin. They live here in Atlanta. She has three boys, two are grown college ones graduated from college, and then she's got a little boy who's like seven years old. And this does say that they've seen one's mental health being impacted when they have well it as teenagers with older siblings. And he's not a teenager yet, but I'm wondering what it's gonna be like for him because his brothers are more older. It says children with more siblings got along better with others at a nursery and were less likely to divorce in later life, perhaps because they already had some experience at navigating close relationships. Oh what do y'all think? All I know is that I just find this article very interesting as I try to continue to stay up on mental health research and what's being talked about. It's just cool to learn about stuff that I probably normally wouldn't care about or maybe would have overlooked all because of lack of research. So let me know the relationship with you and your siblings. Of course, with me and my siblings, we are older we're all living our own lives, and you know, there has been some difficulties along the way because I'm always thinking I know the better route to life, okay, and I want to be everybody's life coach. Firstus just accepting that people have their own lives brothers, sisters, cousins, aunties, uncles. Even if you might feel like, man, if they would just make this adjustment, their life would just be on a better trajectory. So I have to learn, you know, to let people live their lives the way they see fit to live their lives and not get offended, because then that's when pride comes in and ego comes in, you know, when you feel like you and that's I think that could be also an issue of control as well, and so I never want to control anybody, especially another grown man or woman. So I just thought that that was kind of interesting. And next stuff that has been on my heart to talk about, and that is resolutions and mental health. And again I've just been kind of browsing through articles and all that good stuff and how many people made New Year's resolutions and you've already jacked up, you didn't, it's what about sixteen days into the new year and you've kind of already drunk the bomb and just know that that is okay. And so, according to Centerstone dot org, was an article that says how New Year's resolutions impact mental health, and it says that the issues with these types of goals is that they can lead to some degree of selfs albata before you realize it. The idea is that we shoot for the stars, but life doesn't always work that way. If you don't ease your way into your goals, you might find yourself failing more. When we fail, it might impact our mental health and negative ways and can perpetuate a cycle of slipping back into old habits. I know, for me, I don't set New Year's resolutions. As you know, I still got stuff that I'm still trying to reach in goals that I'm trying to do, and so I make sure that day by day I'm taking steps towards that goal. Now, nothing is wrong with a timeline, a reasonable timeline. If you know, hey, within three months, I can accomplish this, within six months, within six weeks, within one week, I would have worked out three times a day, three times a week, for thirty minutes a day. Those can be reasonable, and it's so good because it says, be reasons by expecting yourself to fail at times and know that results might be slow moving. Understand that life happens and things can get in the way of your goals. So try to ensure your goals are healthy and can be achieved without harming your physical or mental health. I already talked about the timeline, and see I didn't need this article. I see, Lord Jesus, sometimes I gotta trust me. This thing says create a timeline. It says try to avoid being rigid in your timeline and understand that your timeline should not be compared to anyone else's. Okay, that's another thing, just comparing your life period to anyone else. It will be more proactive and productive to make small, incremental goals instead of extreme expectations. Okay, y'all, So this ain't a resolution, but I knew that I needed to get my walking closet buck to looking normal because I've been traveling a lot in these like taking a two day trip here, three day trip here, and you know, coming back and just and what I and before you know, all the clothes that I've stacked even though they're folded no, they need to be hung up and put back in their rightful place. That's kind of why you got this whole closet and organization system. And so I said, I am going to dedicate fifteen to thirty minutes a day, and that's what I did. Because it seems so overwhelming. My good girlfriend Shanie Jones, and she's gonna come in from LA and help, not help, but just we're gonna do some more purging. Although I kind of started myself, so that's just creating. I created a nice timeline or just reasonable saying, hey, I'm only gonna, you know, concentrate on this for thirty minutes a day, and before you know it, it might go from thirty minutes to an hour because you'll find yourself enjoying what you're doing, or you're like, you know what, I can get two sections done today versus just one. I would say go for it, especially those who are experiencing depression. And sometimes depression might make things pile up a little more. You don't have the strength, but it's like doing little things bit by bit. I love seeing some of these cleaning videos on Instagram and Facebook and TikTok, you know where people who are in real time who maybe they've let their bedroom just get all out of sorts, and so they're doing things bit by bit. I know, for me, as someone who has fought depression since twenty nineteen, every single day, except maybe there are a few times last year I did not make my bed, But for the most part, every single day I get up and I just make my bed and put my pillows on, because I don't care if I've got a folded sweatsuit on the bench in front of my bed, I don't care. The bed looks great, and so that always helps. So just start doing little things here and there and monitor the progress. It says understand that nothing changes overnight. So it might be helpful to find an accountability partner to help you monitor progress and keep a journal to acknowledge your feelings regarding your progress and document your feelings about your goals and what obstacles you face. Has anyone decided that they're going to start maybe journaling this year, I think that might be a good thing, And an accountability partner it might be someone who's going to FaceTime you at seven o'clock to be like, girl, open up your closet door, let me see did you at least put the socks up? Did you match the socks? How many of y'all got just socks everywhere they don't just at least match them up and put put them in a little bind and label them socks. Or maybe just you know, organize pop up. Some of us need to organize our underwear drawer or the place where you have where you keep your pajamas or your sleep shirts or your jeans. Just start there, like one drawer at a time, one pull out closet, whatever it is that you have. Just start, Or you might need to save a little coin and maybe go to some of your favorite stores and buy some closet organizers or some organizers for your drawers.

Oh, okay, see, okay, okay, okay, got you. I'm glad I checked in. Okay, all right, Thank y'all so much for going with me there. But y'all, I just saw the funniest article. It's an interesting article from the Guardian, a science editor by the name of Ian sample he wrote and says that teenagers with more siblings have worse mental health. Study suggest study of children in US and China found larger in I packed when brothers and sisters were closely spaced in age. So, y'all, there's four of us total, but the first three we're all two years apart, and I'm just wondering, what is there some truth to this? The researchers asked nine one hundred eighth graders in the US and nine four hundred in China with an average age of fourteen, a range of questions about their mental health, from canaan Abel and the Brothers Kismasov to Cinderella. The warmth and support provided by siblings has hardly been taken for granted. Now, reachers have found that children who moan about their brothers and sisters may have good reason to complain. The more siblings teenagers have, the more it hits their happiness, they claim. It says that the study of the secondary school children in the US and China found that those from larger families had slightly poorer mental health than those from smaller families. The greatest impact was seen in families with multiple children born less than a year apart. Oh, I was gonna say, because me and my siblings, Yeah, we had normal quarrels, quarrels, quarrels growing up. Oh my gosh. Wow. So it's saying that if they were closer in age, maybe this can answer some of y'all's questions. So it says that in China, the teenagers with no siblings fared best for mental health, and then children who had no siblings or only one were found to have similar mental health. So what they're saying is in China and the US, if you had no siblings or only one, you had better mental health than those who had more siblings. Oh my gosh, and with greater impact seeing for teenagers with older siblings and when brothers and sisters were closely spaced in age. Wow, I can see that I have a cousin she has well, I'll take from my own family. So there's three siblings and then my baby sister, Danielle, born in nineteen ninety one. And I feel like, you know, by the time I went away to college and then just began working professionally in music, I believe I did miss out on a lot of her milestones and a lot of those great moments, so we would have to ask her and my cousin. They live here in Atlanta. She has three boys, two are grown college ones graduated from college, and then she's got a little boy who's like seven years old. And this does say that they've seen one's mental health being impacted when they have well it as teenagers with older siblings. And he's not a teenager yet, but I'm wondering what it's gonna be like for him because his brothers are more older. It says children with more siblings got along better with others at a nursery and were less likely to divorce in later life, perhaps because they already had some experience at navigating close relationships. Oh what do y'all think? All I know is that I just find this article very interesting as I try to continue to stay up on mental health research and what's being talked about. It's just cool to learn about stuff that I probably normally wouldn't care about or maybe would have overlooked all because of lack of research. So let me know the relationship with you and your siblings. Of course, with me and my siblings, we are older we're all living our own lives, and you know, there has been some difficulties along the way because I'm always thinking I know the better route to life, okay, and I want to be everybody's life coach. Firstus just accepting that people have their own lives brothers, sisters, cousins, aunties, uncles. Even if you might feel like, man, if they would just make this adjustment, their life would just be on a better trajectory. So I have to learn, you know, to let people live their lives the way they see fit to live their lives and not get offended, because then that's when pride comes in and ego comes in, you know, when you feel like you and that's I think that could be also an issue of control as well, and so I never want to control anybody, especially another grown man or woman. So I just thought that that was kind of interesting. And next stuff that has been on my heart to talk about, and that is resolutions and mental health. And again I've just been kind of browsing through articles and all that good stuff and how many people made New Year's resolutions and you've already jacked up, you didn't, it's what about sixteen days into the new year and you've kind of already drunk the bomb and just know that that is okay. And so, according to Centerstone dot org, was an article that says how New Year's resolutions impact mental health, and it says that the issues with these types of goals is that they can lead to some degree of selfs albata before you realize it. The idea is that we shoot for the stars, but life doesn't always work that way. If you don't ease your way into your goals, you might find yourself failing more. When we fail, it might impact our mental health and negative ways and can perpetuate a cycle of slipping back into old habits. I know, for me, I don't set New Year's resolutions. As you know, I still got stuff that I'm still trying to reach in goals that I'm trying to do, and so I make sure that day by day I'm taking steps towards that goal. Now, nothing is wrong with a timeline, a reasonable timeline. If you know, hey, within three months, I can accomplish this, within six months, within six weeks, within one week, I would have worked out three times a day, three times a week, for thirty minutes a day. Those can be reasonable, and it's so good because it says, be reasons by expecting yourself to fail at times and know that results might be slow moving. Understand that life happens and things can get in the way of your goals. So try to ensure your goals are healthy and can be achieved without harming your physical or mental health. I already talked about the timeline, and see I didn't need this article. I see, Lord Jesus, sometimes I gotta trust me. This thing says create a timeline. It says try to avoid being rigid in your timeline and understand that your timeline should not be compared to anyone else's. Okay, that's another thing, just comparing your life period to anyone else. It will be more proactive and productive to make small, incremental goals instead of extreme expectations. Okay, y'all, So this ain't a resolution, but I knew that I needed to get my walking closet buck to looking normal because I've been traveling a lot in these like taking a two day trip here, three day trip here, and you know, coming back and just and what I and before you know, all the clothes that I've stacked even though they're folded no, they need to be hung up and put back in their rightful place. That's kind of why you got this whole closet and organization system. And so I said, I am going to dedicate fifteen to thirty minutes a day, and that's what I did. Because it seems so overwhelming. My good girlfriend Shanie Jones, and she's gonna come in from LA and help, not help, but just we're gonna do some more purging. Although I kind of started myself, so that's just creating. I created a nice timeline or just reasonable saying, hey, I'm only gonna, you know, concentrate on this for thirty minutes a day, and before you know it, it might go from thirty minutes to an hour because you'll find yourself enjoying what you're doing, or you're like, you know what, I can get two sections done today versus just one. I would say go for it, especially those who are experiencing depression. And sometimes depression might make things pile up a little more. You don't have the strength, but it's like doing little things bit by bit. I love seeing some of these cleaning videos on Instagram and Facebook and TikTok, you know where people who are in real time who maybe they've let their bedroom just get all out of sorts, and so they're doing things bit by bit. I know, for me, as someone who has fought depression since twenty nineteen, every single day, except maybe there are a few times last year I did not make my bed, But for the most part, every single day I get up and I just make my bed and put my pillows on, because I don't care if I've got a folded sweatsuit on the bench in front of my bed, I don't care. The bed looks great, and so that always helps. So just start doing little things here and there and monitor the progress. It says understand that nothing changes overnight. So it might be helpful to find an accountability partner to help you monitor progress and keep a journal to acknowledge your feelings regarding your progress and document your feelings about your goals and what obstacles you face. Has anyone decided that they're going to start maybe journaling this year, I think that might be a good thing, And an accountability partner it might be someone who's going to FaceTime you at seven o'clock to be like, girl, open up your closet door, let me see did you at least put the socks up? Did you match the socks? How many of y'all got just socks everywhere they don't just at least match them up and put put them in a little bind and label them socks. Or maybe just you know, organize pop up. Some of us need to organize our underwear drawer or the place where you have where you keep your pajamas or your sleep shirts or your jeans. Just start there, like one drawer at a time, one pull out closet, whatever it is that you have. Just start, Or you might need to save a little coin and maybe go to some of your favorite stores and buy some closet organizers or some organizers for your drawers.

You know what I mean.

You know what I mean.

Okay, I'm just just don't judge me. I'm just trying to help you out. I'm just trying to help you have an organized, beautiful, clutter free twenty twenty four. Then it says allowed flexibility. Offer yourself flexibility and give yourself grace. If you don't do well this month, try again next month. Instead of trying to set goals that might not benefit your mental health, find activities that make you happy instead. The new year does not have to be a brand new you take the time to do something fun and adventurous and prioritize your health over punishing yourself. If you find yourself struggling and giving yourself grace and putting pressure on yourself, and maybe time to reach out to a mental health professional where they can provide more tools on ways to set goals and how to create healthy boundaries with yourself because some of us, we are perfectionists, a lot of us going to performance mode because maybe as a child, maybe you weren't rewarded until you did something, you know, and so be graceful with yourself because listen, there are gonna be times you're not gonna be feeling well. Whatever. This bronchial upper respiratory situation that's going on, y'all, it had me. Oh I had to get in and hailer, you know, and I feel much better. But oh my gosh, So life is gonna life and things are gonna happen. So just prayerfectly. We're going into the twenty twenty four with certain goals in mind, but don't put too much pressure on yourself and do things bit by bit. Okay, you've got the rest of the year. You don't have to like do everything perfectly in one sitting, all right, give yourself some time. And this is I'm so This is from Martha Bowman, who is the manager of Adults and Family Services at Centerstone, which is a nonprofit health system specializing in mental health and substance abuse disorders. You can learn more about center Stone by visiting centerstone dot org. How cool is this? Listen? This has encouraged me. There's so much stuff that I've got to do. Like I've had these books in my office sitting in these boxes. Finally I have a nice bookshelf coming and I cannot wait to get these books out of these cardboard boxes and put them up so they'll look nice and organized. I can't stand just boxes sitting around. And I've been in this new house. It was done being built in twenty twenty two. I moved in in the fall of twenty twenty two. And yeah, these boxes have been sitting here a year. I heard you, I saw you side. I mean you judging, But I'm so excited. The bookshelf is going to be delivered on the twenty fourth. Okay, we just set up the delivery date today. It's going to be delivered on the twenty fourth, and I cannot wait. Maybe I'll put a photo in my subscription part on Instagram to show y'all progress. Okay, all right, so just hold me to it. If I forget, d me on Instagram and say, uh, Michelle, let me so. Maybe by so January twenty fourth, the bookshelf is coming, so I would say, give me a couple days to get everything perfect. So by first week of February, if I haven't uploaded a picture of my shelf, I'm having y'all hold me accountable. Just ping me in my DMS or even in my comment section. It's say Michelle, where's that bookshelf? Okay, and then I'll show you. Okay, all right. I am just absolutely excited for this year. I'm excited for this new year for you guys. Keep me posted. Just let me know how I can support you in goals that you might have. If you feel like I need to hold you accountable, just send me a DM and tell me what it is that you want to do, and you got my full support, all right. Please please have an amazing, amazing day. Thank y'all for listening to me, and pray that y'all get to see Destiny's child sing Happy Birthday because Babee. It was amazing, all right.

Okay, I'm just just don't judge me. I'm just trying to help you out. I'm just trying to help you have an organized, beautiful, clutter free twenty twenty four. Then it says allowed flexibility. Offer yourself flexibility and give yourself grace. If you don't do well this month, try again next month. Instead of trying to set goals that might not benefit your mental health, find activities that make you happy instead. The new year does not have to be a brand new you take the time to do something fun and adventurous and prioritize your health over punishing yourself. If you find yourself struggling and giving yourself grace and putting pressure on yourself, and maybe time to reach out to a mental health professional where they can provide more tools on ways to set goals and how to create healthy boundaries with yourself because some of us, we are perfectionists, a lot of us going to performance mode because maybe as a child, maybe you weren't rewarded until you did something, you know, and so be graceful with yourself because listen, there are gonna be times you're not gonna be feeling well. Whatever. This bronchial upper respiratory situation that's going on, y'all, it had me. Oh I had to get in and hailer, you know, and I feel much better. But oh my gosh, So life is gonna life and things are gonna happen. So just prayerfectly. We're going into the twenty twenty four with certain goals in mind, but don't put too much pressure on yourself and do things bit by bit. Okay, you've got the rest of the year. You don't have to like do everything perfectly in one sitting, all right, give yourself some time. And this is I'm so This is from Martha Bowman, who is the manager of Adults and Family Services at Centerstone, which is a nonprofit health system specializing in mental health and substance abuse disorders. You can learn more about center Stone by visiting centerstone dot org. How cool is this? Listen? This has encouraged me. There's so much stuff that I've got to do. Like I've had these books in my office sitting in these boxes. Finally I have a nice bookshelf coming and I cannot wait to get these books out of these cardboard boxes and put them up so they'll look nice and organized. I can't stand just boxes sitting around. And I've been in this new house. It was done being built in twenty twenty two. I moved in in the fall of twenty twenty two. And yeah, these boxes have been sitting here a year. I heard you, I saw you side. I mean you judging, But I'm so excited. The bookshelf is going to be delivered on the twenty fourth. Okay, we just set up the delivery date today. It's going to be delivered on the twenty fourth, and I cannot wait. Maybe I'll put a photo in my subscription part on Instagram to show y'all progress. Okay, all right, so just hold me to it. If I forget, d me on Instagram and say, uh, Michelle, let me so. Maybe by so January twenty fourth, the bookshelf is coming, so I would say, give me a couple days to get everything perfect. So by first week of February, if I haven't uploaded a picture of my shelf, I'm having y'all hold me accountable. Just ping me in my DMS or even in my comment section. It's say Michelle, where's that bookshelf? Okay, and then I'll show you. Okay, all right. I am just absolutely excited for this year. I'm excited for this new year for you guys. Keep me posted. Just let me know how I can support you in goals that you might have. If you feel like I need to hold you accountable, just send me a DM and tell me what it is that you want to do, and you got my full support, all right. Please please have an amazing, amazing day. Thank y'all for listening to me, and pray that y'all get to see Destiny's child sing Happy Birthday because Babee. It was amazing, all right.

Bye.

Bye.

Checking In with Michelle Williams is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Checking In with Michelle Williams is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.