Josh has run the numbers on his 40th RSVPs and discovers what every host secretly suspects: a "maybe" is a "no", a non-reply is a "no", and even the yeses can't be trusted.

Then Dion gets pulled into the strange social grey zone between a Marketplace transaction and a friendship. The buyer wants to grab a coffee. Is it a networking move? A genuine friendship bid? And how long can you sit on a reply before silence becomes the answer?

Plus: the awkward etiquette of buying something expensive off a stranger, and where the most reasonable place is to meet.

We upload all our episodes to YouTube so check us out there if you haven't already:  linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon and get a bonus Patch every off week. Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Josh has run the numbers on his 40th RSVPs and discovers what every host secretly suspects: a "maybe" is a "no", a non-reply is a "no", and even the yeses can't be trusted.
Then Dion gets pulled into the strange social grey zone between a Marketplace transaction and a friendship. The buyer wants to grab a coffee. Is it a networking move? A genuine friendship bid? And how long can you sit on a reply before silence becomes the answer?
Plus: the awkward etiquette of buying something expensive off a stranger, and where the most reasonable place is to meet.
We upload all our episodes to YouTube so check us out there if you haven't already:&nbsp; linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork
For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon and get a bonus Patch every off week. Check out: <a href="https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork">www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork</a>

**Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards 2018 & 2019**

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someones house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome To Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that stares far too hard at everyday life.

Welcome To Patchwork

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.

Patch #158 -  Is A 'Maybe' RSVP Actually A 'No'?

It's Bonus Patch time. Josh's mum spots Elle Macpherson at dinner in North Queensland and reports back that she was eating Vita Wheats with cheese. We piece together what this means, how tall Elle actually is, and whether the age of the supermodel is behind us.

Then Dion pours Christian three-quarters of a cup of tea and refuses to be sorry about it. The boys debate whether "filling up exactly the right amount" is a life skill or just something that didn't can't be done. 

Plus: is it a compliment when someone falls asleep to your podcast, and what else in the world deserves the word "super"?

Thank you so much, Patreons! Love you and love your work, and your pets!

It's Bonus Patch time. Josh's mum spots Elle Macpherson at dinner in North Queensland and reports back that she was eating Vita Wheats with cheese. We piece together what this means, how tall Elle actually is, and whether the age of the supermodel is behind us.
Then Dion pours Christian three-quarters of a cup of tea and refuses to be sorry about it. The boys debate whether "filling up exactly the right amount" is a life skill or just something that didn't can't be done.&nbsp;
Plus: is it a compliment when someone falls asleep to your podcast, and what else in the world deserves the word "super"?
Thank you so much, Patreons! Love you and love your work, and your pets!

How Much Water Do You Need For A Cup Of Tea?

Josh admits he doesn't know his grandfather's name. Doesn't know when he was born, doesn't know where he lived. Is that fair enough, or is it something he should know? More clear-cut is Josh never computing that his parents had grandparents. 

Then Josh gets thanked for a birthday gift he had absolutely nothing to do with. His housemate Georgia did all the work, and Josh signed his name on the card. How do you redirect the thanks without making it weird? And are you allowed to accept praise you didn't earn? The boys then design a tiered membership system for group gift contributions, complete with font size proportional to donation.

Plus: when the sun is beaming into someone's eyes during a chat, whose responsibility is it to call it out?

Remember to follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, and Facebook: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

And for a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Josh admits he doesn't know his grandfather's name. Doesn't know when he was born, doesn't know where he lived. Is that fair enough, or is it something he should know? More clear-cut is Josh never computing that his parents had grandparents.&nbsp;
Then Josh gets thanked for a birthday gift he had absolutely nothing to do with. His housemate Georgia did all the work, and Josh signed his name on the card. How do you redirect the thanks without making it weird? And are you allowed to accept praise you didn't earn? The boys then design a tiered membership system for group gift contributions, complete with font size proportional to donation.
Plus: when the sun is beaming into someone's eyes during a chat, whose responsibility is it to call it out?
Remember to follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, and Facebook: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork
And for a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: <a href="https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork">www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork</a>

Patch #161 - Do You Deserve Credit For Organising A Group Gift?

Josh went in for a routine pathology test and came out lightly shaved. Nobody warned him. The boys try to work out whether a phlebotomist should ask before taking a razor to your chest, whether this is a chance to nuke the whole thing, and whether chest hair actually grows back thicker.

Then somehow the conversation turns into a career pivot. Dion is convinced becoming a phlebotomist is a great get-rich-quick scheme. Josh points out that a salaried job is, by definition, not quick. 

Plus: why chest hair stops growing at a certain length, whether Josh's aversion to getting medical tests is stoicism or emotional avoidance, and a phlebotomless pit of a pun to close it out.

Thank you so much, Patreons! Love you and love your work.

Josh went in for a routine pathology test and came out lightly shaved. Nobody warned him. The boys try to work out whether a phlebotomist should ask before taking a razor to your chest, whether this is a chance to nuke the whole thing, and whether chest hair actually grows back thicker.
Then somehow the conversation turns into a career pivot. Dion is convinced becoming a phlebotomist is a great get-rich-quick scheme. Josh points out that a salaried job is, by definition, not quick.&nbsp;
Plus: why chest hair stops growing at a certain length, whether Josh's aversion to getting medical tests is stoicism or emotional avoidance, and a phlebotomless pit of a pun to close it out.
Thank you so much, Patreons! Love you and love your work.

Patch #158 - Is A 'Maybe' RSVP Actually A 'No'?

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