Christian has a grievance, and it concerns the friends who arrive at a 7:30 dinner having already eaten. Is the meal the point, or is the company the point? If someone turns up sated, has the evening been quietly shortened before anyone's ordered? And is "I'll just have something small" a courtesy or a betrayal?

Josh takes some convincing. Dion wants to know whether a five-year-old needs to watch a parent eat a carrot for the whole thing to work. Along the way: the brunch version of the same crime, whether it's acceptable to ask someone to order ahead for you, and how recently a menu found online has to have been updated before you'd stake an evening on it.

Plus: a dispute over what technically qualifies as a pun, and - behind the curtain after nine years - the kitchen table resentment that has never once been resolved.