Welcome To Patchwork
Welcome To Patchwork
Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned …Social links:
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Patch #155 - Should You Eat a Bad Sandwich Out of Politeness?
If you take a sandwich from a shared platter and discover you hate it, are you allowed to throw it out, or are you obligated to keep eating? Josh found himself in this exact situation with a salmon sandwich and chose to power through, whilst retching. The boys try to work out what kind of brain dam…
35:35
Should You Wait For The Payment To Go Through?
When you're paying by card, do you tap and walk away before the payment goes through? Or do you stand there, stare at the screen, and wait for the magic word - approved? Dion has been quietly questioning his own behaviour at the 7-Eleven counter, and he reckons the whole anxiety might be tied to so…
10:45
Patch #154 - Should a Gift Voucher Cover the Entire Gift?
Should you accept a "congrats" for buying a house? What about moving into a rental? The boys try to work out where the line sits between earned achievement and a windfall you didn't quite deserve. Then a debate about gift vouchers - specifically, the ethics of giving someone a voucher worth less …
34:15
Should You Reply To A Group Invite?
Josh sent a group message inviting people to a Folemore gig. Most people said nothing but Christian replied with a perfectly calibrated decline that praised the artist, validated the invitation, gave a specific reason, and apologised. Josh has been quietly studying it ever since. Is this craftsmans…
15:43
Patch #153 - Does Listening to a Book Count?
Christian notices that some of the old European men in his neighbourhood have netted their fruit trees - but left others completely uncovered. Does that mean the uncovered ones are fair game? At what point does abundance become an invitation? And is it trespassing if you're just grabbing a lemon? …
30:01
How Much Effort Is Ten Dollars Worth?
Josh sold a pair of headphones on Marketplace and made the mistake of trying to give the buyer a warm handover. Wing tips, charging bricks, personal anecdotes - the full corporate knowledge transfer. At what point does helpfulness become a hostage situation? This kicks off a deep dive into the eco…
14:12
Patch #152 - Is Sewing A Button A Basic Skill?
Why won't Josh commit to an arrival time? When he says "I'm 25 minutes away," is that best practice or is it just forcing everyone else to do maths? And at what point does "I'm heading off now" become a riddle? This week, a friend's shirt button pops off and ignites a surprisingly heated argument …
30:13
How Much Is A Massage From Your Friend Worth?
We return from the wilderness with our first bonus patch of the new millennium. Y2K couldn't kill us, but 160 days of silence nearly did. We open with the revelation that Dion recently transferred Christian $9 in exchange for a massage - and we unpack the ethics, the economics, and the emoji that …
14:55
Patch #151 - Where Do You Wait For Friends Outside The Toilets?
We're back! After 160 days away, a refreshed studio, and some very big life updates, we ease back into the important stuff - like underwear. Josh is staring down the barrel of doubling his underwear usage, and he doesn't like it. Christian walks us through his two-pair rotation system while Dion tr…
27:59
Patch #150 Livestream - Is This How You Celebrate 150 Episodes?
After eight years, 150 episodes and approximately one and a half Bibles worth of words, Christian, Dion and Josh gather to celebrate the tangled quilt they’ve been slowly unravelling since 2017. This very special Patch, recorded live on YouTube on September 10, 2025, is best experienced by watching…
1:11:34