Can You Eat Before Dinner Plans?

Christian has a grievance, and it concerns the friends who arrive at a 7:30 dinner having already eaten. Is the meal the point, or is the company the point? If someone turns up sated, has the evening been quietly shortened before anyone's ordered? And is "I'll just have something small" a courtesy …

Patch #166 - Should You Always Tip A Busker?

You find a phone on the footpath. You're fairly sure you know whose it is, you're fairly sure they're already long gone, and you've got a sandwich that isn't getting any fresher. How much of your Sunday afternoon do you owe a stranger? Josh has a story, a timeline, and a defence he's prepared to mo…

How Do You Say Goodbye From Across A Room?

Somewhere between the tea room and the hallway, Josh saluted a colleague. Not ironically. Not as a bit. Just a hand to the brow, a few metres of office carpet, and an immediate out-of-body realisation that this was not a thing he does. So what do you do with a gesture that arrives before you've app…

Patch #165 - Do You Pump Your Tyres Before A Long Drive?

Do you pump your tyres before a long drive? Josh does - two and a half hours out of town and the mental checklist kicks in, windscreen wipers included. Christian has owned his car for some number of months he'd rather not commit to and has never once checked the pressure. One of these men is doing …

What Do You Do When You Don't Know The Words?

Is a concert something you receive, or something you give? Dion has turned down tickets on the basis of the crowd alone, which raises the question of whether the people around you are part of the experience or an obstacle to it. Christian thinks a room singing together is the whole point. Josh thin…

Patch #164 - Do You Confidently Sing Along To Songs?

How long can you refrain from opening a package delivered to your house? Josh managed several hours and a car trip, which Dion considers admirable restraint and Christian considers a moment that stopped being a moment about a decade ago. Is there any wonder left in a parcel arriving at your door, o…

When Do You Become Middle-Aged?

Would you pay a single lump sum for a lifetime of something, or has the subscription model quietly ruined our ability to value anything at all? Christian has a figure in mind. Dion thinks it's too high. Somewhere in there is a question about whether a lifetime membership is a promise or a Ponzi sch…

Patch #163 - Do People Think You Look Your Age?

Do people think you look your age? Christian's been forced to find out the hard way after a shaving mishap wipes out an entire winter's worth of beard growth in one accidental swipe - and the office small talk that followed was brutal. Does more hair genuinely buy you a few extra years of guessing …

Would You Pay Someone to Do a Job You Could Do?

Josh spends an afternoon dismantling his girlfriend's bathroom sink after the plug refuses to pop back up - a full DIY education via YouTube video and trial and error. What's the actual limit of your patience when a job you don't understand keeps getting worse the longer you're in it? And is there …

Patch #162 - Are You Obliged To Visit A Friend's New Home?

Would you eat a piece of gum that's been rattling loose in your pocket for a week? Dion has strong feelings on the matter, plus a backstory involving bulk-buying half a kilo of gum pellets to avoid the little plastic tubs. There's a genuine attempt to establish exactly where the hygiene line sits a…