I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger WinegarI Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar
Explicit

Adam Rippon Disobeys Bridger

View descriptionShare
Published Dec 12, 2024, 8:01 AM

I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar

On I Said No Gifts!, host Bridger Winegar invites friends, loved ones and people he’s secretly trying to destroy to join him for conversation and a ga… 
263 clip(s)

Bridger doesn't go haywire despite Adam Rippon rudely arriving with an unwanted gift. The two discuss unscented lotion, non-traditional travel, and getting banned from Uber.

Don't forget to review the podcast, it's the least you can do.

Follow the show on Instagram

I Said No Gifts! Merch

Have a question for I Said No Emails or a Gift or a Curse suggestion? Email us at isaidnogifts@gmail.com and Bridger may or may not read it aloud on the show.  

Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3Uw1W4v

 

And I invited you here. I've gotta made myself perfectly clear. But you're a guest to my home. You gotta come to me empty, and I said, no guests. You're our presences presents enough.

I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me?

I assume you want to support the show, and if that's the case, our promo codes and links from all of the advertisers are now online at exactly rightmedia dot com, slash promos, slash isng, and the promo codes are deals galore, So even if you don't want to support the show, you can still get a bargain. Once more, you can support I said No Gifts by using our promo codes and links at exactly rightmedia dot com slash promos, slash isng. Or you can look at the show notes for this episode, or you can go to our Instagram. Or you can do none of that or all of it. Your life is yours. Do what you must feel free to support the show. Welcome to I said No Gifts. I'm Bridger weineger Oh. I lost my voice last week. Today is the first day that my voice is even semi returned to normal. The whole podcast was in jeopardy. You know, life is so fragile. Podcasts are even more fragile. This could have all gone away, and then it would have been on a lease on the mic, and I'm sure they would have loved that, but I'm sure the reviews would have tanked on a lease. Don't think about it. That's all I'm going to say. I was traveling, I got a cold, I lost my voice. Someone at the airport quoted me five to ten minutes wait, which we have to stop saying five to ten minute wait. It means nothing. I have never had someone say five to ten minute wait, and then that's the time. It's either two minutes or a half hour. It's a meaningless thing to say. Just say wait, just say it'll be a second, because it doesn't mean anything to me. In this scenario, it was a minute and a half wait, and then I almost lost my place in the line. I still ended up in group F on the airplane, but that's my fault. But yeah, five to ten minute wait. Now that I'm really thinking about this, that is it's bad news. It's bad news. It does mean two minutes or forty five minutes, So let's stop saying that twenty twenty five, no one's ever going to say five to ten minute wait again. Oh, I'm glad I brought it up. You know, this is why I've got a voice, This is why I have a platform for these sort of issues. But please, let's get into the podcast. I adore today's guest. It's Adam Rippon. Adam, welcome to I said, no gifts.

It's an honor, it's a privilege. I couldn't agree with you more about your airport etiquette. And I'm glad that you have your voice back because I think it's important that somebody kind of stand up to the big guys instead of just Pete Budaje edge.

Right. So now there was one one of us, now there or two of us. And this is how we create change. Absolutely one one voice becomes millions.

A lot of people said that about Jill Stein this year, So I don't really know kind of how to take that or kind of where to go with that, but I do stand with you on five to ten minutes does not mean anything.

It really doesn't mean anything to me when somebody says that, I just think, oh, so just nobody knows anything, right now, No, and it could be any amount of time.

I am personally guilty of doing that quite often.

Are you quoting people five to ten minute waits all the time?

I'll be there in a minute, in an hour, But that's an My husband is finish and so he takes everything I say literally for which is the worst thing anybody absolutely ever could do. So I'm like, I'll be home in five minutes, which will turn into maybe I'd come back in two days.

You know, I don't know.

Five minutes is a turn of phrase, right, it's not an actual unit of time. But I'm not in a professional setting. I'm on an iPhone, right, l e X is a professional setting.

Yes, there should not be a five to ten minute wait at LAX. It's not even the cheesecake factor. No, at least there they give you the buzzer. Yeah, they five rates in your hand. You know. You know, when you're at least within five minutes completely at the airport, you should have a real strict the planes take off at specific amounts of I mean, it's it's lawless. Yes, no, it'solutelytill five to ten minutes of the airport. I might as well just go home.

And you know what each terminal is a different country. They have different rules, they have different Oh love is a quality.

Oh it's awful. I was in the Jet Blue terminal this time, and I've got to say things are not looking good over there, really, the quality of I think they have a coffee Bean, which, first of all, a coffee bean in the airport, forget it, so sad. It's the worst case scenario.

They're the worst coffee artisans on the block first of all, Like I would say, on the block, going to a coffee bean is okay, Yeah, it's not that bad. No, but it's sort of bad. It is not sort of good. They do have the good ice though, right.

They have a much better ice at Coffee Bean, way better than Starbucks. Are kidding me. They have the pebble ice exactly. But when you see them at an airport, I think it's almost a completely different brand at that point, it's like it just popped up there. Coffee Bean Corporate isn't even a where it exists.

Oh no, well, because it's probably like Coffee Bean and co It's like something they got away with something. Can I share something with you that I've found out that I cannot stop thinking about? Please, don't I know there, I actually have to We actually.

Have a few minutes left on the podcast, and you know, I've had a great time, and so thank you. I think it'll go ahead, please.

Simone Biles is opening a restaurant wait in the airport what called taste of Gold. I just kind of wanted you to sit with that.

Every piece of information how you told that out was so perfect. Taste of Gold. Should I try to guess what sort of food it is?

I think you're going to be right.

Is it burgers and bar food?

I think more importantly, I don't know anything about it. By the way, I don't I need actually I can here to promote it.

You are an early investor. I'm the only I don't know anything about it.

I think the first thing I want to know about it is it before or after security, because.

I think that makes a huge difference, huge difference, because you know, in airport's after security. And this actually is probably completely wrong. I'm now I'm probably just making something up, but I think after security there's like a full company that takes care of all of those restaurants, and that's why airport quality food is a little bit worse, because like there's one company or a couple that have security clearance to get the food through. So somebody's like, not like baking a bomb into a coffee bean pastry my favorite flavor. And so I think that's why before you get through security. I think they can be real versions of restaurants. Are you serious? I mean again, I could be completely making this up.

Well I'm like, well that would make sense because I do think. Isn't there like a Planet Hollywood that's like right outside of the Tom Bradley security which would make sense because I don't think Planet Hollywood food could make.

It through security. Oh, there's no way. No, Absolutely, they'd be stopped. Also, is that the last planet Hollywood in existence? It is? Yeah, you're also an investor there. You're trying to get it back off the ground.

Well, I already took my money out reinvested it right into Taste of Gold, which will be coming to the Dallas Fort Wayne Airport before after security. I don't know it's in the Dallas, it's going to the Dallas.

I spend a lot of time there, well, I have in the last year because you should check out Taste of because I work there. I met the spirit Airlines, Dallas Fort Worth Airport, Terminal four. No, I actually was. I had a little mental break. I think TB where I decided I liked taking a a break in between LA and New York, and so often I would stop in Dallas.

And I'm smiling like the cheshure cat, I'm going, what mais are two stars knowing what's going on?

Hear me out? Hear me out? Try too, Okay, yes, in theory, and it worked once you start over. Okay, So I'm I am going back and forth between New York and LA a decent amount of over the last year, probably four hundred times. Okay, in a plane, in a plane, unfortunately, Okay, I'd rather be doing it by river boat. But and I thought, and I love to go out of Burbank. I love to go out of Burbank Airport, and I love to go to LaGuardia Airport. There are not a lot of direct flights from Burbank to LaGuardia. Yes, and now I think from Burbank to New York at all. I love the listener loves just kind of the logistics of the stay with us guys. Really, it's getting better. I can feel it. But I had to take a flight there. There was not a direct flight, so I thought, well, I'll have to stop in Dallas for an hour. Of course, I'll give it a shot. The first time it worked perfectly. It felt like I was on a road trip and I was stopping for lunch, got stopped there, got on the plane, got to New York, and of course was like a nine hour journey rather than the traditional five to six. But I got to have my lunch, read a book.

But you're non traditional traveler, So what everbody knows that about me?

I do it? Yeah, that's that's kind of the game of my travel agency business for the non traditional traveler, for someone who loves to take fourteen hours to get across the country. So it did work once, and so I thought, well, I'll keep trying this, and literally every other time there was a delay or I missed a flight. Okay, and there was one time when I flew from New York to LA that truly took thirteen hours because it was a to stop flight.

Oh that's where I trave a line to any kind of destination. Sorry, now two stops.

Where are you going? You have to be going to space. There aren't even stops on the way to space. No to be going from New York to LA and taking two. Where were they Detroit and Salt Lake City? Okay? I Detroit, I'm okay with beautiful water feature.

Yes, scrgeous fountain. It's the Trevy Fountain in the United States. This Salt Lake I I am questioning because I think Salt Lake can it's it has to be the final destination.

You have to die there.

You can't travel through there. No, because there you can get a giro there.

I know euro yuo.

Wait.

I listened to a year episode with Katya was.

It You're you might have talked about euros. Yeah, yeah, it's a euro uero.

I mean like the form of currency, like sort of.

I think that's more of a euro because you're speaking of euro and now I'm speaking euro a euro. It's more of a what is that a it's like an ee rather than a You.

Well, you would know you travel a bit more, you make a more few stops and a few different places.

Than I do over the place.

Yeah, I haven't really picked up the dialect of the Midwest quite yet.

No, I'm from Salt Lake City. You are, Yeah, And there's a large Greek population there, and as far as I know, and again I don't know it.

I'm taking everything you say as the law.

Yeah, I think it's zero. A lot of people say giro.

That's a form of exercise.

I think exercise. Hell, isn't there like a gyrocopter? Giro?

It's definitely not giro.

Thank you. I appreciate you act like you know when people say gift and jiff, yes, saying gif oh, absolutely soft g you mean it's a hard g giff Yes, but said softly, that's what I meant. I'm sorry I misspoke, but just really real quiet yes, yes, yes, So it's actually zero like a z h ee. Okay, well that's too far. You know, we're in America. We're trying our best. We're talking. We're not saying yeah, we're talking here, so rude.

She's really hoping that sickness kind of comes back.

I'm yeah, you you really are. I can feel that. Listener, This is a taste of the know it all behavior you'll get from Honaly's if they take over the podcast. So just be aware of that.

But I do appreciate what they're doing because they're being very smart. Just kind of if you kind of covering instead, which could happen at any minute.

I could end up in Salt Lake Dead right, final destination the dream.

Yeah, exactly, that's That's the only thing left to say about this is exactly I did. The last time I went to Salt Lake City, I did get in a fight with a Delta agent over what I was in the right. I'm going to start with that.

I'm already on the agent side. Okay, Well, so was kind of every other agent there.

I was flying and as you would do from kind of the airport, I was on the on the plane and we didn't take off for like two and a half hours, just on the tarmac.

We were on the plane already.

Oh no, okay, So then they called us off and by the time everybody had gotten off, it had been like three hours. And I was traveling with a friend. I said, watch this. I was like that travel girl from Instagram who was like, when you don't know the roles and she goes but you don't know the drawls, Wat's this? And so I went up to the gate and I was like, I was just on the plane for three hours. Can I have twenty five dollars for shake shock?

For shakeshock.

Of course, yes, because I know that twenty five dollars from Delta is kind of usable anywhere in the airport. And they said no, and I said, you got to be kidding me. I said, I actually said that. Usually I said that in my mind and I go okay, and I walk away. But I said it out loud, and I was getting whoa. I scared myself a bit, and I said, are you got to be kidding me? I was just on the flight for three hours. Well it wasn't really three hours technically. I said, oh, you got and I started speaking louder and I usually don't do this. It was I think the thin air.

Well and being on a plane for three hours.

Well then it gets worse because I walk away and within ten minutes I get a text message of here's twenty five dollars. Because I was on the plane.

Twenty five is kind of the limit.

It's sort of well, it's like the minimum for three hours, they'll give you twenty five dollars.

Shut you up with this a.

Little bit of McDonald's, which does work. It does work.

How would work on me? For any suggestion I could be there for forty hours? You give me twenty five dollars, like I've won the lottery.

Oh yeah, and then you don't even think about it when you spend over twenty five dollars because you're like, it's still free of course, even if you sheck loves this, it's yeah, they're monopolizing it.

Yeah, okay, to get twenty five dollars, that's amazing. And but how do they give it to give it to you? Was it like did you go back to the thing and they had a big gold gift certificate?

Oh, I wish it was. It's like a bar code that they'll scale now it makes sense. So if everybody is owned by the same sort of corporate conglomerate, right, that bar code.

Is, it's a universal currency. Basically. Again, you could take it to space.

Which I never want to go there.

I have no interest in going to space. I think we should shut down all space programs. Me too.

We leave it alone. We tried, who cares.

None of us will ever get to enjoy in an alien Let's just let I mean, let's take one hundred years off. I think that's great. Let's put the money elsewhere. I'm sorry astronauts, I'm sorry space community. That's screaming right now, we'll get it. I think we should try.

Build a tower instead of doing like the rocket, Like, let's start with the tower first.

Isn't there a Bible story about that? I think it's the Tower of Babble. They tried to build a tower to God.

Well, just think of how much we've come since then. We probably have more technology.

They took the time off, so we can try it.

Again exactly, and at least we have a blueprint for what didn't work, saying that.

You're trying to get to God. This time, we tried to get to.

Space exactly, because we know God is a bit further from space, and he was actually much further from Earth.

Very touchy about people trying to get to him. Yes, but space.

I think they'd get it because at one point we'd get so high that like the gravity woulden, it would pull us up. So it's like, help the building stay erect.

Hand in hand of space exactly.

It's two complete different entities working together.

I love this. I love joining like a collab.

If they love a collab, you might not know this. It's I'm collabing with the travel girl next. Do you know who I'm talking about? Oh, my god, it's so worth your while.

Does she have actual useful I mean she had this piece of absolutely what other things of your learning? Oh?

Because she once taught me. And I am paraphrasing, and you'll learn that as soon as I explain it that if you lose your luggage that somehow the airline has to pay you a certain amount of money and that you have to you can tell them that it's all in their by laws. Oh my, that they'll be like, no, I'm sorry, there's nothing you can do but within the airline by laws and some of the travel restrictions. It's like in the guidelines that they have to do this. They're just saying no.

And how much how much money is? Do you know? I don't know.

It's either like ten dollars or ten thousand dollars exactly.

It could mean anything, you know. And I just learned on an airplane. And I'm sorry to musicians everywhere. This is the most annoying thing I've ever experienced. You can take a guitar as your personal item and put it in the stowaway.

Have you never seen that? You've never traveled an artist before?

Well, I was in a band for a few decades. But this was before they let us take the guitars on. It was a more luxurious time. It takes so much space.

Oh yeah, a guitar is not the size of a Samsonite.

It is certainly not. I had to take my carry on luggage. I was in row nine. My carry on ended up in row twenty four.

I don't really kind of play by that role. I don't really do that. What do you mean, well, I think at some point you kind of had to take a stand for yourself.

I tried. I tried pushing the guitar.

I think at that point it's like if you're bringing the guitar and you got to play it, sorry, like if it's gonna take up that much room, get in the aisle and like put out the hat.

Let's hear us.

Yeah, if it's that important to you, I understand you don't want it to get banged around, but come on, you got it.

You got at least sing a song, hold it in your lap, give me a under the seat. It's essentially a child, it is.

That is an insane thing that you can't bring on a pair of skis why the guitar.

The guitar is very long, fragile. I mean, and again it's I know it's hard to be a musician, but you should have to show that you you have published music.

And I don't say that's too easy to publish me.

And that's true, published music and made more than forty dollars. Oh there you go. Or show that you've sold out a venue you're competed to a sold out venue. Yes, I think that's there's got to be something stopping anyone from taking a guitar well, or I'm going to start packing my clothes in a guitar.

So how did the luggage get so far back?

Because every other well, as I said at the beginning of this, I was unfortunately in group F so by the time I was playing go, literally, they were all taken up, and the mean flight attendant was like, well you can take it to twenty four US rattled off quick. You know, they were just reveling. They eyed you up and they went, he's not worth it. You can travel back. And the rest of the time I was on the plane, I'm thinking, how am I going to get back there before everybody stands up? Because if everybody stands up, I have to wait for the entire night to wait. That's the rule. So I literally, upon landing, I'm unbuckling. I am running, pushing my way to the back like I like I had lost a baby.

Yeah, but it was all I could do, all the guitar, cross going to the back, running, sprinting.

Wow, yeah, it was a guitar.

So I don't like, I am willing to sit and wait because I cannot deal with the cattle.

Oh, the cattle and the social humiliation. I'd rather just sit. You didn't want to do that, though I had been on the plane already so long.

Well, how many flights were you in already?

Shuck? Oh, let's see. Actually, so I guess this is because I had a stop. Where did I stop? Like city? No, this was from JFK to lax as far unless i've it was in a fugue state. So it was a direct flight. Okay from Burbank. No, unfortunately into La I switched killmate.

I've never flown out of Burbank in my life.

Oh, it's such a pleasure. I've picked up people from Burbank. Of course you have, because it's a normal. It's like going back in time. You can actually access it totally. You can't pick somebody up from last in America was great. It's again, it's what we're trying to get back to. Yeah, Burbank Airport. Honestly, if we could make America the Burbank Airport, I would support any candidate who could do that. It's not whatever we've got in the future. But when I run, if I haven't disqualified myself, I saying something on this podcast, which I'm sure I have.

I'm sure you have.

Have you seen him Day's qualified people?

Now, yeah, I'm sure talking badly about the Salt Lake City Airport isn't really going to do you in. If Matt Gates is almost the Attorney General, I think you'll be kind of okay at this point.

You make a very very good point, thank you. But Burbank is a pleasure. Lax is hell on Earth. They have that whole situation where we have to get on the shuttle to go to the ride share thing, the Lyft ride, and we can stop talking about We'll stop talking about airports after this. But I do want to complain about Lyft because I got in a Lyft ride that I took no less the driver took no less than two hundred turns to get me home. He took air or freeways off right before I got in. I was like, why, that's why the freeways are there.

I don't understand, like even a horse and buggy is there, like a reason?

This person thought he had a reason. I looked at Google Maps before I got into thing, being like, how long will this take? It said an hour and twenty minutes. It's like that's a very long time, but life is life. Hour and twenty minutes.

Yeah.

From alex to Highland Park it was busy.

Okay. Usually that's how you're defending them.

No, I'm not. I'm about to burn this person to the ground because about ten minutes in he said, in a few minutes, we're going to go through a parking lot. And I don't want you to worry, but there's a method to my madness. This is the worst thing you can absolutely hear. Absolutely that's it.

At that point, I go, all right, put your hands up, I pull out a gun, and I go, you get in the passenger seat, Bacco, and we're taking my way.

We get right on to the fucking one ten turn back.

We go back, and I go, you're going to do this over you love motherfucker. Turn around and get back to terminal three and let's do this right.

Nope, we went through not one parking lot, but two parking lots, a strip mall and a Ralph's parking lot. And you know, I thought, well, this is this isn't traditional, so and you know I'm a non traditional travel I thought maybe this will work. We took surface streets the entire time, going through neighborhoods from LA to Highland Park, which is not a short distance. It took a solid two hours to get home. He was fighting with other drivers. At one point he had a confrontation with another driver. I contacted Lyft after this, Yes, and they essentially just said, sorry that happened to you. I hate this company so much.

You know, for a while I wasn't allowed to use Uber? Why ask them?

I never wouldn't.

Yes, I wasn't allowed. Something happened where they felt kind of like it was in their best interest that I wouldn't the entire corporation.

Yes, And I don't know why.

I don't like I remember one time, yeah, I did kind of get in an Uber that was for are you a Kelly? And I said, yeah, I just but how would they know that I wasn't Kelly unless Kelly complained. But how would Kelly know that I was in hers right?

And maybe you're a Kelly at heart. Maybe my mom's name is Kelly. Well, there you go. You're Kelly junior, exactly Kelly the second.

So I'm just like, I don't know. That couldn't be it, though, but it kind of that feels is probably right, It does feel exactly it.

Actually, the other Kelly probably ended up did.

Who cares well, They probably ended up writing for Lyft.

They probably drove you back time the bar Kelly. Uh, well, you know I've complained. Who knows what will happen to Kelly now that I've complained? Oh, probably nothing at all. Promotion. Yes, she's now running Lyft. Yeah she's bringing the mustaches on the front of the cars. But she's running Lyft through a Ralph's parking lot. That's insane. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Wow, And I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I thought, maybe this is an amazing trick and I'll be home in thirty minutes. Yeah.

Now that's when you need to give them the doubt, because I don't think they deserve benefit at this point it people will do wild things.

I mean I think they really believed in themselves, and uh, people have to that's a problem. You have to gotta stop it. You know, very few people should believe in them so very maybe one in fifty.

I think there's just some people should like lift people up and nobody should believe it.

That's a good idea. We should believe in others, but not in ourselves. Yes, let the community do the work for you, otherwise you're taking two hours in a lift. Yeah.

No, I'm really sorry that happened to you.

Thank you so much. I just needed two sorries, one from Lyft and one from you, and now I can move on with my life and now I can start using Lyft again. I was basically abused by this company. Oh well, there's something else we've got to talk about, which is totally inappropriate.

Hmm.

I was really excited to have you here on the podcast today, of course I was. I thought, Adam will come, we'll have a pleasant conversation, I'll unload a bunch of baggage about travel on him, and then we'll move on with our day. So it was a little what is the word, I was a little floored when you walked into the studio holding what I can only describe as I mean, the podcast is called I said no gifts. Let's be very clear. I'm pretty sure you're aware of that. I am. This is not WTF, this is not the Daily. It's I said no gifts and you were holding what's obviously a gift. Yeah. Well, I'm not really one to.

Follow rules, and I do like the names of the episodes where it's somebody disobeys, and I felt like, why would I pass up a chance to kind of do that, to not obey?

Right, So you're kind of the travel girl of this particular podcast exactly you might not know. Yeah, I'm like practicing. Yeah, this is all just a dry run for your TikTok.

I keep playing this girl. And I know, for like the one person that will listen to this who who knows what I'm talking about.

They're howling, they on her. She's mad, she's contacting our booker Patrick right now. I want to be on the show.

But yes, I did. I did bring kind of something that.

It was what you said? Yeah, well should I open it here on the podcast? I think you should.

So this is the first here I think.

This is gorgeous. I mean, okay, you're handing me in an envelope.

Yes, it's a court summons. It's actually I'm assuming you.

How I didn't. Sorry, that is such a good idea for somebody. I need to get in some sort of trouble with somebody legally, and so I can.

Yeah, get I'm like, you're like Olivia Wilde right now, and I'm going, oh, sorry, these are the papers.

To get served on my own podcast. It's amazing. Is this your handwriting? That is my handwriting? Do you think I kind of hired out? You've hired somebody on Fiver to write this story? Yes? Uh, this is really Where did you learn to write like this?

At our Lady of Peace School?

What grade? Second? Second grade? Yes?

I learned because we had I had a nun still okay, well that's why we still had religion in schools.

And again we're trying to get back to that. And I think, as weekly as possible, really good. I think it's going to be really good. Hey, don't laugh, you should cry. I think it's going to be really good for all of us. And yes, so shout out to sister and she's dad, but she was the last nun to work.

At that school who didn't hit the kids with rulers.

Wow, and is that why she died?

Well, that's why most of the kids in my class couldn't write. Well, okay, because the hitting work.

Hitting works. Yeah, let's get back to it. We're hitting in school, Yes, I think so. I mean, I didn't take cursive until fifth grade and Utah Public schools, and my cursive is gone.

Really, I only write in cursive, really, And I get two different kinds of reactions to Obviously, I'm doing it all the time that I get all these reactions to it. But when people see my handwriting, one they go, oh my god, that's so beautiful. And two they think I'm putting on like some sort of like vaudeville show of like I'm trying to just like, oh, you don't really write. Yeah, no, I'm like, no, I do write like that. And now show me how you hold a pencil. Have you seen the way people hold pencils now like Neanderthals.

Like this, Oh no, like a microphone.

Yeah, you're supposed to just really hold it lightly between the index and the thumb.

I was taught incorrectly, or I learned incorrectly, and I would hold it on this finger and like as a kid, had a huge callous on my finger. God, I know if youewer can't I mean, the listener can't hear you.

I actually kind of need to see what you're doing because I have a pen in here.

I just want to see how you're holding it. Yeah, it's it's not right, okay, I mean like my mom took me to a doctor once like this. Oh that doesn't look right.

Right.

No, Now take the pen out and hold your hands like that. Does that look like a normal hold it like you holding? Oh that's so good, so delicate. It's sort of like how they signed it, like the declaration.

I think maybe because my mom's left handed, that's why I learned incorrect. I don't think. So let's try to blame my mom.

Okay, I'm sure we'll find something to blame my mom for.

Yeah, storm avention. Okay, Well, let me open this envelope here. Let's see. Oh I love that sound. Oh that's beautiful, isn't it? Just? It's so nice to get. Oh, this is a nice little card. Hats off to you, little cowboy, my dearest Bridger. I'm not really one for following rules. I wouldn't dare come empty handed. You're handwriting is gorgeous. Thank you for having me, and feel free to share what's happening this fact love Adam Rippon. This is such a beautiful card. I love this. Okay, so you're kind kind of sweetening up to the idea of a gift. I see, I'm really warming off. And now it's in this gorgeous mushroom bag, which I adore. I mean, wow, you've really gone all out.

Well, I mean I just wouldn't show up with something ugly.

I mean because I would have spread the word as quickly as possible. Well, you know, here's the thing.

If you just put a little effort into giving somebody kind of some shit, which is I mean, get ready, they don't get too excite you did it.

They'll remember like, oh, it looked so nice.

I wasn't gonna roll in here with the Ralph's bag filled with like what.

That's a typical guest on this podcast. Well, these people are trash. It's listen, you've really uped the bar here. Yeah. Well, we'll send this episode out as an example for future guests, right, if you please.

Listen, Getting a gift. Please follow these guidelines.

Your photos and now that I'm thinking about it, writing, uh, feel free to share it a card and then if this was just full of money, that would be a very good idea. I'm going to try that for a gift. Actually give me that back, let me fit something. Feel free to share. Okay, let's oh, we haven't had some nice tissue in this podcast on a little you know, I know.

Some people think that that's wasteful.

I don't think so.

I think kind of what I mean, what's being wasted here? Oh my god, can we just give me a fucking break. We need to wake them.

People are coming after you all the time for your tissue. You see.

I mean, I'll be honest, there is a kind of there is an abundant.

This was the whole bag of tissue.

It was because there's eight sheets in a little pack.

Well, let's use it. Let's not waste I'm going to use every one of these hold out.

Yes, Oh it sounds so good on that.

I know that's so crispy. Let's make sure. Let's say, oh there's more.

No, yeah, there's all eight sheets are in there?

Now are the multiple things in here? Yes? Okay, should I take them that in any order? No?

Okay, okay, so we'll take this to choose your own adventure.

I'm very excited. Okay, So what under eye patches? Fantastic? Yes to twenty four k gold under eye patches.

I think they use that term loosely.

Yes, I mean this simply doesn't apply to them.

No, I think they've got twenty four care golds. And it's also like in Korean, and I think they're just like they won't understand the difference.

Okay, should we talk about this or should I open what else is in?

It?

All goes, it's all come together. Okay, So we'll bring everything out and then we'll get into it, and so we'll get to continue doing tissue.

Just a few more sheets.

I hope everyone's keeping count at home. Okay, there's one four. I'm not even looking. I've now just that's smart. Yeah, this much. Then we'll go for the rest of the.

Yeah, I get it even closer to the mic I met him.

Okay, I think that's the end of the Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. See, and this is why we we're not wasteful. No, this ultimately we uh, we are very in control of our carbon footpall.

Is it wasteful if you used it as a prop?

No? And if millions enjoyed it, oh my.

God, which I know they did, every single eye might not know this. I'm like so committed to that. I've never talked about her in my life before. I'm so sorry I'm having.

You've got a team up. Oh, I hope so to team up? I think I take you on a trip that's a hell. It'll be the worst possible vacation. Okay, let me bring out what else is happening here.

Okay, I hope there's no more paper because that now it does feel cumbersome.

Okay, No, I've got Oh.

When you've kind of lay it all on the table like that, it does look like a bunch of shit, but please, please please explain it.

Okay. So then we've got some some collagen essence masks which are bamboo from Dermal. Are these are all? Is it all the Dermal brand? I don't think so.

No, I think I kind of went across a genre.

This is from the Dermal family. It's a wine collagen essence mask which feels like an absolute stain on a face. Okay. And then some I actually have no idea. Oh collagen, Oh, a lip mask that are in the shape of lips, like those candy wax lips, yes, which I've never eaten. I have you have? Oh? Yeah, what is that experience? Oh?

I think it explains a lot of why I'm not well now. It's literally it's like eating a candle, which is not that bad if you're thinking about it, could do worse for things candy wax. I haven't thought about those in a while, but yeah, it is just it is.

I don't think we should be eating them, right.

I did whole thing, lick my lipslick my fingers. After it was like Thanksgiving dinner.

Platesful, okay, the lips, and then finally some pineapple flavored pineapple twist, Yes, flavored, tried dent. So there's so much happening here, yeah, well, and not anything at all.

So I have everything that you have on the table.

I'm laying it all out here, kind of like cards.

Yes, I think that's yeah, it looks like your cards. I have this in excess at home. So I grabbed kind of out of my stock pile because I thought, why wouldn't you just want to treat yourself like I treat me of course, and Trident gum is my favorite gum.

Is flavor in particular. Absolutely.

I think people really kind of say some nasty things about tri Dent really Trident, I mean too, but I kind of never have heard you say it. Probably yes, And I think a lot of people I've kind of stayed that direction with Trident. They're afraid to they they're more like the route of like a stick of gum.

I've I have fully removed stick of gum from my life. Good. I'm actually I've now become a DENTI nice person.

See this is what I mean people, Yeah, just hear me out Trident.

No, no, no, no, you will see no Trident because I carry a bag and anything that's not in the little and this is a wasteful product and it's a little plastic like I think they call it like a blister pack where you pop them out, uh huh. Anything that's not in one of those, the gum will find its way into my bag and then will be all over my wallet and keys. Oh no, I can't have that ever happened to me again again again, No no, no, no, That'll be the end of my life.

Pat pack, is that like the bot like the bull like it's like a mug of gum.

No, no, that would I simply will not buy either. Who's buying that? I how's you're a truck driver?

Well, unless it's the last drive you're gonna do and you need all two hundred pieces of orbit gun dirty mouth.

Yeah, come on, yeah, that plastic thing. I don't know who's buying that. I think if you were doing long distance driving mm hmm, or you mend a ship or something something. But if you're a normal person, no, you can unwrap it individual and wrap it. Now. What I'm talking about is like it's a little like cardboard essentially the size, and then you push it out and there's like a tinfoil and a plastic I think I've got some of my bag. I'm gonna show you, okay.

I I am quite excited because I do believe that it's going to be absolutely worth the Oh that Oh no, you know what that looks like to me? Well, I used to smoke.

Oh not even It just looks like I had a cigarette outside and I now need to freshen my breath.

That's what that looks like to me. Denteen Ice, Well, that gives you a nice sense of danger, does it?

Adam has been smoking? This is what? And I know this.

Because that was a really popular gum to chew after, Like in the area that I'm from, Pennsylvania. Famously, they'd have their nice little Marlborough red and then they'd need to get right back into the classroom or into the ice rink, and then they'd have one or two pieces of ice.

That makes sense, Yes, wow, Well, I mean I'm not stopping.

And it didn't stop them either, and so I think, to hell with them.

To help with them, I think, how long did you smoke for? I?

Well, okay, I smoked well while I was competing.

That's I just don't associate that with a professional athlete.

I know you wouldn't, but you would associate it with somebody who was just so thin.

I was so just while you were skating. Yes, who turned you onto it? Me?

What?

Because I knew people who smoked with thin and I was like, that's what I'm missing. And I wasn't wrong, which was the really scary part about it.

But you were doing intense exercise.

Right, which was sort of kind of counterbalancing. Everybody needs a little advice.

Smoking wasn't doing anything for you.

It was keeping it was making me not eat dinner and lunch and sometimes.

But you were eating your weight and dente and ice.

Yes, and yogurt. Yogurt, okay, because there's calcium in that for.

So calcium and protein, great source of protein. Now people are drying it.

Out, drying the yogurt.

Have you seen this? No, it's a new trend. People are drawing out yogurt. I of course it's on TikTok okay, but they like leave it out over an id. I don't haven't looked into it that much because obviously I don't have any interest in drawing out my yogurt personally.

Oh I okay. I scrolled past a video like this, Please tell me if I'm right. I saw a doll up of something go.

Into a cheese claw.

Yes, yes, and then they dry that out and then they eat it.

Okay.

I'm gonna say a few things. I don't think we are going to make America healthy again. I actually don't, and I think we're kind of too far gone. Have you seen the videos of the of that one woman who goes, what I have right here is raw milk and it doesn't go bad and she unscrews the top, and all you hear is you see a little bit of like you know, the liquid of what I perceive as milk go in, and then you hear and then she goes, Oh, it gets better. She takes out one of those like you know from my key where you can get the milk frothers, but like the handheld one where like one double a battery goes in.

She goes it actually never goes. Oh.

And she puts that in and she frosts the milk to kind of break up its own the cards whatever.

Ye, that's for me, huh.

And then she kind of brings it, you know, she moves it kind of up and down to break up all the chunks.

And then she drinks the whole thing. Oh, I drink milk, I too well. Oh, I love to meet a fellow milk strike.

We're so rare now, Yeah, I'm sorry. Almonds don't have others.

No, no, no, no, it's almond water. Yeah. And I cannot eat a cookie with.

Unless I stole it from a child, a baby, its own child's I don't want to.

No, no, no, no, I need to have stolen from a baby. Yeah. And here's the thing.

I know, milk is supposed to turn a baby cow into an eight hundred pound cow, and there's a part of me that wants that.

I would love nothing more than to be half a ton exactly make I want to be a prize winning cow.

Yes, take me to the fair, please please, I blue ribbon. I think you'd get the blue ribbon.

I'm shooting for eight hundred pounds. No, the raw milk thing, I can't do that. I need it ultra.

Pasturized me too, as it should.

Be, because milk, like, there's such a fine line between it being something I can drink and being the most disgusting possible thing in the world. And like, if another texture becomes part of it, it's over.

That's how I feel about And I do love kind of looking over at your side of the table right now, because I've truly turned it into just a bunch of trash.

This is not trash, though we should talk about this. No, but wait, this is what I mean.

It's I brought three of everything because I thought, oh, well one, I didn't know how large the cruise and I'm looking around, I'm going, oh, it's like twenty eight twenty eight people in there.

John.

There's John kind of John's reflection back then we have the whole sea Jona, right there. I see that I'm the puppeteers. Yes, so something for everybody. Uh huh, I lost my train. I thought I was saying something, but please go on you're doing You.

Were saying you brought all of these for everybody. Yeah, that's it. That wasn't leading to a greater point. No, I mean, welcome to my work.

No.

I said it kind of with the kind of the lilt that there was like more to what I was saying. But I just thought, nope.

Period. Well then let's talk about these things. How often are you using these masks? Well? Not not really.

I actually I believe in them.

Right. This is gonna lead to a severe bird for me.

I hope. I do like them. The lip ones. You give them to the kind of the people who don't do the most around here, I think.

They're gonna love it.

So they're whatever. The imasks are nice?

Okay twenty four? Yeah, Oh it looks like I slipped in four and oh okay, I can double up.

Yes, So what I like to do when I do use these, I don't use them very often, but I'll do the imasks and then I'll put the sheet mask over that. Oh, just kind of make sure that everything is as covered as possible.

And how long I've never done any of these things. Twenty minutes, twenty minutes, laid down, okay, down now, okay, this is a robbery. That's a great way to start a robbery handing out face masks. Yeah, but they leave kind of beautiful, so refreshed. Yes, they look so nice. Victimless crimes. I was at this is interesting. These are I think these are mostly Korean products. I was a we spaw last night.

Have you ever bet No, I haven't fantastic.

Are you familiar with what it is?

Yeah, it's for the we the people.

It's a Korean all day spa. It's open twenty four hours a day. It's in Kaytown, Yes, wonderful.

Ktown is sort of my final destination. They're no, you gotta get over. I go there every once in a while to get Korean barbecue. Obviously, it's the top of the food chain for me. When they do the redo the food pyramidal, I'm politicing hard that they're going to have like seasoned and like salted beef up at the top and but that's when I'll go to Ktown. Other than that, it's the infrastructure is tough to get through.

It's the parking is difficult. Yeah, there are a lot of things that make it hard to get around. I will say, but when you go to we Spa, you pull.

Up and troubles smelts away. A whole of your troubles melts away.

I think I actually spoke about this on the very first episode of this podcast, and like when you started and miss being the very last, it's kind of a nice full circle moment. Thank you for listening. No, I'm letting you down. That's the court summons. Yes, yes, there's been another. I said no gifts this whole time, and they're finally suing me. No. I remember I spoke about we spaw in the first episode. And of course, like when you start a podcast, you get a lot of people listening who aren't going to be future listeners. They're just trying it out. And of course a lot of those people are morons, and I remember a lot of people being like this snob. All he wanted to talk about was the Korean spa. It costs thirty dollars yea and has the like the appeal of a high school gym. I love it. I adore it. It's like the least.

You're a brand ambassador. You're doing a great I want to go. Oh my, it's like a gym from a school.

Oh my, I'm like, start the car in a lace. No, I love it. It's a wonder world. It's so relaxing, it's so.

It kind of I know they said you were a snob, but I'm going to say something. I don't think anything. Thirty dollars is relaxing.

This is the I mean, thirty dollars, as far as I'm concerned, is too expensive. And that's the least relaxing thing about it. Okay, but thirty dollars is a great deal. Can be there for twenty four hours. I'm going to be there for two of course. Yes, well you get to just go sit in all their beautiful little pools. They have like a clay spa. You can lay in a salt swap. This is not a snobby thing. It's a wonderful place to be. Why did I even bring it up? Because we have these things.

But I'm because I'm actually here representing those people to take you down. So I really don't kind of do people who write mean comments?

Oh, how so you just ignore or do you just I don't attack because I go, God, it just must be so awful to be you it really and I mean that kind of with my full chest, truly, like what is your life like you would spend?

Which I like, I'm sometimes I'm one of them, but I am. I will write my nasty thing to my friend, not to like an online PLoP.

You don't know. No, that's crat z. Why are you gonna yuck someone's young? It's very odd behavior. It's so sure alone you're broken. Yes. The only other thing I'll say about We Spaw as much as I talked about it being not that great, and it's fantastic because there are other spas around town, and I had some friends go to one and they found a dead body in one. Well that happens in the I believe in the po No, I think in like the steam room. Oh and that spa, not We Spaw, did not respond well to the entire situation. How so they basically acted like it was my friend's fault that they had found it. They wouldn't it was, they wouldn't refund. My friends were covered with refund the money. They would not refund them. I'm all, like, I'm a lawyer, now I know another case for travel girl. If you find a dead body.

Wait to you see you're gonna drop Devan you see her for the first time. Okay, please, I am so sorry. I'm never speaking again until you finish this story.

They found a dead body. They went into took the pulse. My friend she went in there and because like the person was unconscious and they like walked in. They're like, what's happening, and the SPA would not take responsibility. My friend had to check it out and basically confirm that they had died. What And then finally the SPA kind of got involved, but continued to act like it was not their fault and that there was really nothing wrong. And we're like, and there were other spagoers who were annoyed that it was happening. They were like, we want to use this.

It's annoying to die during peak hours is annoying.

Find another place to crawl off and die, Dude, in the locker room you can block that off, but not in the sub or sp have fun. No what Yeah, they found it and my friends they waited until the ambulance and the fire department came, aim to make sure they obviously were the adults in the room, because the SPA was not going to do this. Then my Princess.

Spas plan just going, oh, he's really in a deep breas.

That's a great question, really hoping that the body would just disintegrate.

Well that's kind of done. That does happen, and very quickly within the hour, within the yes, absolutely within the hour, it will sort of just disintegrate.

It will turn into a Himalayan rock salt. Hm. That's the secret of all of these spots. Yes, they're just dead bodies. No, they they waited until the paramedics come and taken care of it. Then they asked can we get a refund? And they said no, what and then it's kind of a lift situation. Well, it is sort of like times are tough. I guess we lost their customers. No refunds for anything.

Ever, No, that's and what it was a massage being.

It was not a massage. What happens in a massage? Envy, I can't picture exactly what's going on because it's kind of a franchise thing and I feel like that feels so impersonal for I want like a I want a massage in all business.

Uh huh, well, Massage Envy is a small best, it's a local business. I used to be a Massage Envy member. And what was your experience like with massage Envy?

Impersonal? Kind of exactly? You said, kind of terrible.

Okay, I this is what I don't like, and I'm so sorry, but I'm like really kind of tired of people cutting corners. A massage is kind of on that hour, yes, right, right, don't go fifty minutes, no no, no, no, eighty minutes, no sweet, sixty minutes, ninety minutes, that's sort of the timeframe.

Fifty no.

That means you want, what are you doing twiddling your thumbs and yank in my junk for ten minutes?

Do your job? Nobody wants to work. Wait, so what would happen after fifteen minutes? It'd just be like your time's.

Time out times with them timesimy. They would just kind of leave and it's fifty minutes, and so then I have ten minutes to kind of scramble, and I wonder what's going on? Leave the money on the dresser? Would you ever try complaining no, because they did say that it was fifteen minutes long, so I know.

It is not the standard massage time. It should be one hour. Yeah, I agree, who settled on fifty minutes?

I did when I send the contracts, but I still don't like it and.

Their gimmick our massages are less time.

I've seen other places kind of try to pull this stunt. It's called us what's a cheap trick? Not for me because they're charging me the sixty minute kind of rate.

Right, and it is it like a monthly subscription? Why go as often as you won't?

M Well, no, so it's like a monthly subscription, which I think, listen, it's been a while. I think basically your monthly subscription will get you one massage a month, which is cheaper than if you had just bought it outright, and then if you miss it that month.

It rolls over. So they kind of took that sort of eighteen te.

Or Rizon kind of mentality of the rollover minutes and they used it towards massage. It was nice that somebody kind of took that over it though.

So yeah, of course somebody had to take over the rollover concept. Yeah, because they don't. We don't really do that anymore. No, nothing rolls over. I guess, yeah, I can't think of anything. No, So you're the massage. Let's say you missed it for January, it rolls over to February. Now, in February you can have two massages.

Yes, because you paid for that one massage at your member's rate. Right right now, I'm going, wait, it's pretty good. I'm about to join.

Again, especially if you will let them all roll over for twelve months and then you're having twelve in.

A row that day.

You could just do them all that day. You just let them kill you there.

Yeah, no refund, no refund I needed that is I really don't think I'll ever get over that.

Wow, the fifty minutes, not the fifty minutes. The dead body, oh, the dead well, of course, I mean imagine my friends, right, how do they ever relax in ams?

Where in this state?

It was in town? Yeah, I would name it, but but I'm sure there's some legal gray area there that could become difficult.

Don't because I do think that they'll have what's coming.

I feel like they're not going to. I feel like this has probably happened multiple times for them to not be freaking out, they must be like, oh, I guess what's hocked, do you? I mean, people die, they do put the warnings.

And that's and you know what, that will go a long way in the court of lacking.

Absolutely will. So if you've got if you're feeling light headed, get out.

Sorry, nothing would be more lightheaded than dead. Yeah, and I guess they were feeling it. They were absolutely suck it up, you're dying.

Yeah, rip to whoever that person was.

Yes, the first time I went to Japan, ever, I did also see a dead body on the street.

Oh that's a tough situation.

Now, there's no kind of anything else I can share about that story, not because he was involved. Yeah, but yeah.

This is what was. It had been there for a while. I mean, this is say dark, I start crying.

I could have helped, I don't know, but nobody was doing anything. They might not have been dead, just just shallow breath.

Shallow breath, and no one was helping. This feels very kind of par for human nature.

Yeah, it was a premonition.

I think. I'm so sorry I brought that up. My god, what you're saying it was a premonition. You knew they were going to die in that bush. Yeah, so basically you see everyone you see, you see is a dead body because eventually, yes, you know, they'll be dead. I'm looking at a dead body, right right, Ultimately we're all looking at dead bodies constantly. Well, eventually, yes, you're looking at a future dead body. Yes, uh huh, that's an easy way to lie. That's a good party story. Saw a dead body last week? Really, no one's gonna ask that many follow up questions. No, unless they're the police, and then they're not going to ask any No, they're gonna get this guy's crazy. We got to get out of here. Okay, Well, I've got all of my masks here. How long have you been using.

Masks metaphorically or the.

First when did you become your true sound?

And still haven't? No, Still you're masking. Now I'm social masking. I kind of have been using them for I guess like ten or fifteen years.

I got you into these the Koreans. The Koreans came for you personally. Yes, have you been to Korea? I have? Yes, People go there and it seems like a wonderland. I mean, like for skincare.

I'm going to tell you something about something. Okay, Okay, I one, I'm I'm opening a medical spa.

Is that true? That is true? Can I be the first? Can I cut the ribbon? Please? Maybe? I mean you'll cut the ribbon. Maybe I can cut I don't need to cut the ribbon.

You can do it. Nobody's asked, and I didn't ask to cut it either.

So please, you aren't even planning on a ribbon?

No, until now, I'm going, hey, wait, I should audition for that. And so well, one I have asked me if I have a medical I know you're the host, but asked, here's a good question. Asked me, do I have a medical background?

Do you have a medical background? No other thing before that?

Yeah, I do not technically, and so in the state of California, you're not allowed to own it. But there's a lot of there's like some ways to go around it. Okay, let's hear these found them all. So it started with I have a friend who I had been going to who did like my lasers and injections and stuff.

Edit that out.

And they were like, I want to do my own thing. And I was like, well, if you're doing your own thing.

Tell me where.

I'm just going to follow you. I'll like, never come to this place again. A chain, oh, a chain, yes, laser yeah, laser envy. And they were telling me like, oh, but I need to find like a they are a nurse, and you need to have a medical director of your clinic who's an MD. Okay, And I was like, one of my best friends, his husband is a doctor, was recently disbarred and never will be barred again. Yeah, he's actually completely barred. And I said, let me talk to him. And so she was telling me I need to find a doctor to be the head of the clinic. I said, let me talk to my friend. Maybe I can help you. And then we started talking and I was like, would you ever want to do something together? And she was like hell yes, Oh my god. So we've been working on the process of like getting it together, and so now I know a lot about all of this stuff, and now let me tell you.

About let's get there.

Yeah, okay, I'm going it's really great. Yeah. As someone who yeah no, So now why all those treatments you see on TikTok and all those people going they have their pinky up their wait I shut up, bitch, listen to me. Okay, everything's so cheap over there, Yeah, because you're getting like they're blowing air at your face.

Oh, there are a lot of like not scientifically proven.

But there's a lot of there's a lot of like really superficial treatments that you can get done that we don't have because they're unnecessary. They're nice, but it's like like, wouldn't it be nice if I just blew on your face for twenty minutes? So many yet, and so I'm thinking of offering it. And so the thing is is that they have things where it's like they blow compressed air onto your face.

Compressed air. Honey, I can go out in the wind, yeah, exactly, blow the dice and fucking hair dryer at me. Okay.

And they'll offer things like red light where it's like, okay, the red light sort of documentation that we have, you know, those face things that you can.

Put the red lights where it's like it's like vitamins, taking vitamins where it's like it's probably which you know, I'm scarfing those. Of course I am a why not try? Well?

The dice exactly, I'm all about It's like Vegas. And so with the red lights like omnilux for instance, I'm actually taking them down right now in.

This Goodbye OMNILU.

So all of the studies that they've done on red light are based on not the mask that they sell, on the panels that they sell to professional Oh yeah, they sell the panels that they are selling or that's all their studies are done on how effective the panels are, not the mask and using like quote the same thing apology. Right, So they'll do like different red light treatments. But to have red light be effective, you need to do it consistently, like two three times a week, and.

For it to be super strong, it just needs to.

Be stronger than a little light up.

Yes.

So, and then when it comes to like the the different treatments, like the real intense ones like the your Pico laser, You're clear and brilliant and everything everything like is price comparable to overhear. Oh, we just have to have a lot of the less like walk in walkouts because a lot of these people are and I'm gonna take I'm gonna name names.

Don't worry. A lot of these people will walk in and they'll be like I went to.

Korea, and I got eight sent treatments in one day. And they leave, and they just left, and they're like, and look at my skin. They're just slathered in vasileine head to toe, slick as a seal, and they're going, I got all this done. Okay, listen to me. If you got anything worthwhile done, there'd be blood, you'd be under anesthetic, and you'd be crying. Trauma involved, absolutely, because only beauty only comes from trauma. I just not come from a compressed air. Okay, that's kind of true. And so they and so then when they go and they compare the prices of it's like within dollars for how much is botox or syringes of filler or things like that, it's all very comparable. They just offer a lot of more superficial treatments which people will feel like, oh, I'm getting so much done.

What a bargain. And then forgetting airline tickets and hotel.

People are and then they go home and they drink raw milk.

What can you do?

There's really defund the Department of Education. I think we should and we should fund the Tourist Board of Korea. I think we should do that. They might be really good.

No, uh at all. I guess that adds up. I'm sorry my trip to Korea don't a culture of the rich country. And I was just planning to go get air blown on my face.

Yeah exactly, you know they and you know what it is. I the people who do it, they love it and they're like, I did it Ai skin analysis. Oh god girl, please spare me the details. Yeah enough, So what are you going to do at your clinic? Everything everybody else does, right, just the effective things.

Yes.

And the thing is, I don't what I don't like about going to like what I didn't like about going to a medspa was that I just didn't I didn't feel like they were just trying to peddle me to like some sort of thing I either didn't need or didn't want it, or like I was like, I just want to do something to like maintain.

Right, and they were like, I don't want like a radical transformation.

Well I wanted that too, and they were like, please leave.

I want to be unrecognizable worst way radicalized politically, which I am now and it feels good.

And so I just think that like the whole experience can just be better, pleasant and common sense, yes, and I well, when I was getting into it one I just felt like intimidating, of course, and I didn't know the hospital essentially exactly which I'm prepared and qualified to do. Not the eyes of kind of the state of Gavin Newsome, the Saint Adam Rippon Hospital. Yeah, huh yeah, it's like off brand Cedars's kind of when I'm starting oaks.

Yeah, different trees. Wait, so do you actually have a name for the medspall y super skin? Oh? I like this, And where do you know where it's going to be?

I think, well, I live in Pasadena, and so does my friend who's the nurse, and so we want to try to find something in Pasadena.

Right, I feel like Pasadena is the home of Yes, that's probably true. I think.

Yeah, there's no shortage of medspa there. There's like fifty.

Fifty and you're gonna put them all out of business.

Absolutely well before well because of.

Arson, even before you open your business, they will be dead.

Oh yeah, it'll just be like it'll be like a ktown spa.

A string of fires breaks out and pasit to every local med spa. Please become a firebug. That's all I want for you.

Yeah, I'm gonna go in the next door app and be like, I think I smell smoke as you're.

Lighting the fire.

When people are like, we saw a suspicious five to seven kind of looking man getting a lot of gasoline out of the Exon mobile, and I'll go wan right there right away and be like, no, no, that was that was made up. I think you're wrong.

This person has lied before. Mm hmm. It's a bost Well, they're going there next. They probably are right just reporting coyotes.

Oh my god, wait do you live in it? You live in an area where there's a lot of coyotes.

Oh yeah, yeah, I see coyotes. I see. I have a lot of wildlife. Oh, raccoons, possums, coyotes, parrots. Yeah, we have the parrots too. I think those are the four major Then cats, a lot.

Of youth kind of throw cats.

A lot of feral cats really, oh yeah, oh yeah, and I love them. I mean not a lot. I mean now I'm talking like I live behind a dumpster, but there are a couple of feral cats in your house. You do, don't. There's a lot of rotten garbage that I just kind of dip into No, we have a couple of feral cats and I support them. I mean I financial people are like romantically, the're my secret family. My boyfriend has no idea.

The raccoons, I don't really I like them online.

I love a picture of video.

I used to live in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, and where I lived, my door to leave my apartment was like right next to the dumpster, and so like at night when I would like throw the trash out, I would sometimes accidentally hit them, not knowing that they were.

In there already doing their job.

We were at work, right and I'm like, show me your papers. I was originally yeah, so furious, and they'd hiss at you. Oh yeah, come on.

That's not a sound you want to hear from a raccoon.

No, I don't want to hear anything. How about a fucking thank you.

I just gave you gold. Yeah you're gonna want that. What's in there?

How about a fucking thank you? And then the coyotes, we see them all they just walk the streets.

Oh yeah. And I'm not scared of a coyote though, are you? Hey? What what? You're not scared of a wild job? They're not. They're scared of you.

Oh, absolutely took out a coyote.

Scared of you. They truly are. They're way more frightened of large. The only thing that is calling large me me, I'm huge, seven to four hundred pounds. No, the only things that are really in danger of coyotes are small pits. Otherwise, coyotes, you know, they'll just stand there then scurry off if you're bigger than them.

Yeah, well, I thought that's because they were rude, because they were scared.

It's because you had you thought you had an off putting personality. Yeah, what the hell, I'll never have a friend.

No, I actually have one of those like a rape whistles sort of deal on my bag because I have a small dog. Oh, I have a medium sized dog. And so I have two dogs. They're both like mixes, right, Tony, he's from the streets of Tijuana, Okay, and I guess he's getting sent back there. And he's half pitbull and then half kind of a mini if you literally google like Mexican street dog.

Right, he looks exactly like that long hair, short hair, like.

Short ish and so he's like a German shepherd boxer Golden retriever. So he's just he looks like a dog, right, He's so cute. And then we have Tracy. She was found in a dumpster in Baker's Field.

Oh that's heartbreaking, it is. That is heartbreaking. I do run a puppy mill, so I don't care. Oh so maybe it was you. You through Tracy in there, but we have her. Now we have a lot of excess dogs, and you know, it's just part of the business. People love their labordoodles. They're in, they're out.

And she's half pitbull, half wiener dog.

Oh my god, that's gotta be so sweet.

Yeah, she looks like an alien and she's very small, and we have to and now my favorite thing to do is like she just is so acts like she plays all day long, and she gets so skinny, like she just looks like.

Like bone smoking.

No, she's gonna start, So I'm going to teach her how. And so we give her this like little like yogurt concoction and I always call it Wacanne three thousand and so Tracy eats weight gain three thousand and So she is just.

Kind of like some can sell at the atkin. I will do that. That'll be eventually the next thing.

Well, and then I'll sell the antidote. Yeah, you have to create the progarettes to solve it. Yes, cigarettes.

Well, I'm sorry, but you have small dogs. You have kind of the rape whistle for coyotes. I feel like you were trying to say something I was, and then I was amazing. I just wanted to know what your dogs look like.

One thing that you will learn about me is that the sentences I say don't kind of string or like lead into the next sentence.

You famously have never made a point and I never will. You hate a thesis. I do not do that.

I do kind of a synopsis, but not a thesis.

But I'm curious about this whistle. Then what what does it attach to your keys?

So I am kind of the outfit I'm in while I'm like on a walk is like casual. And then I have a fanny pack sort of like around the shoulders like cross body.

Of course, okay, we level a cross body.

Yes, I wanted you to finish that because I went across buddy. What and so in my little zip block, not zip block, my little zipper fanny pack. In there, I have two packs of Trident bubble gum flavored gum.

Sometimes the walks get long, and.

Then I have the poop bags, rolls of poop back responsible of dog owners.

Of course we.

Should shoot down the people who don't absolutely just killed on the spot, like we should drone like I think we need to get elon on that.

I should be a sniper on every electric pole. Yeah, just waiting for these people. Bye bye, sorry good. You're not a responsible person. No, you know, not doing the bare minimum.

So I'm going to run on that one day. I'm not probably run from it.

Kill kill, that's your slogan.

Yes, yeah, And so I have that, and then I have treats in the back because Tony's very.

Like food motivated.

Okay, so he would do anything for like a piece of romy shit. Yeah not even I could have rocks in my hand and I go with's that And so I have that. And then it's a little keychain that goes onto one of the zippers. And for this to work, all you do is like you rip it off of the key chain and it's this loud, loud whist.

Is it a one use only multiple? Have you ever had to use it?

Just my house for fun?

You can get dangerous and you're bored. Yeah, a fidget spinner. Fact, cry wolf in the house. They're all alone.

Ah, nobody's there. The dogs are like, what is going on again? They're completely numb to the sound.

Now yeah, okay, well I'll have to look into one of those.

Oh yeah, Well the other day I saw on TikTok somebody who I hate was going right now, only I'm the TikTok shop. I got this one for my sister from my aunt, for my mother, from my grandmother. They're only twenty dollars now. But you click on this link right now, I'm like, give me a bright stop it. I don't trust anybody who's ever had an Amazon store linked in their biome.

Of course, no, up until five years ago, this was not a part of human behavior. It's not a normal thing to do. You were not like, oh, I'm buying all these things from my family. Wouldn't you like one? That's never been a thing until now.

Well it was a thing when there was like the Avon lady. Yeah, of course, and we all knew she was a con artist exactly.

She's trying to get a free car. Yes, she purpose right, Like the people.

I have more respect for the women who worked at Lula Row than I do for anyone who links to my Amazon starfront. Stop just garbage, no crazy. You'll never guess what I found only today, And I'm like, this is the thing you guys. If something costs a cent on the TikTok shop, the tariffs are gonna.

Hit you hard. Those people are in for a big finding out.

Absolutely, go to your Amazon storefront. I hope it's linked to a GoFundMe because you're gonna need the money.

You're gonna need the money. It's a two stuff shop for supporting these TikTokers at this point, absolutely, and they need it. Well. Should we say anything else about these things? Do you want to this is? That is the best flavor I've never had, the pineapple flavor. Do you know?

Gum is really good for your teeth?

It is good for your teeth, It's good for and there's also again a TikTok trend of like young men chewing gum or something to strengthen their job.

I've recently seen these people going, well, do you have some?

Oh? I have something about to extra packs?

Uh?

The people on TikTok going well, I You'll never believe it.

I remineralize my teeth. Open the schools.

I'm like, I'm begging someone to open the schools. I remineralized my teeth. All my cavities went away.

They didn't.

This is an RFK situation which all his cavities went away and they went into his brain, and now his brain is an empty cavity.

It's an absolute void. It's just suck. It's terminal f it's cannot fly past it without getting sucked into. Actually the tower building up to space. That was his idea. I still it. Yeah, this gum is delicious. I told you the pineapple flavor.

It's the best, and you have to get it online.

They don't sell it in stores. It's only in your TikTok.

Well, if you go to my Amazon's storefront, you'll kind of find it there.

I did have to order the senten ice online like Mom and pop shop. Well, I'm like going to Target. So I'm telling targets Mom and Pop at Target, they're not selling this to me, Orbit Orbit, and it was all over. I'm gonna have to spit this out because people are gonna hear me chewing gum. They want to hear that. I'm gonna do it a couple of times. Listener, if you're if you don't like to hear the sinus one chewing, turnaway. Now. I'm just gonna do this because I was given gum as a gift and we should chew. H's so beautiful.

Okay, now I hear your teeth kind of getting remineralized. My teeth were remb that's what they said.

Say it like minimal. They didn't know. I mean again, their teeth hadn means nothing, nothing means anything. Did they say what remineralized their teeth? The gum? Oh, the gum did right? And just any gum.

No, it's a special gum that you look.

Yes, wait, I'm not is that true? Yes?

What?

Yes? People are morons? Absolutely close it all down. You should have to get a license to use the internet.

I think this is this is something I truly believe. If you aren't going to use your government name and then post it all while, you shouldn't be allowed.

Absolutely. Yeah, I mean that makes sense. Yeah, there should be some accountability.

There should be complete accountabilit You should.

Have to government name and what you got on the act or SAT just to let people know who they're dealing with.

Absolutely, well, the people who don't have any like this is the this is the thing.

We'd weed them out right away. We'd weed them out.

Right away because you know who the worst people online are who they're under.

The age of fifteen. They're very powerful.

They're the most powerful people in America.

They truly are because they're grew up on an iPad. They grew up on an iPad. They're extremely confident, and they're stupid.

This is the thing. When we I'm assuming we're about the same age.

I'm a twenty five, Yes, so you're speaking about me directly, I get a bloody nose.

Twenty Well, I've minimize them, so they're gonna be fine. I think that because of the Internet. Like when we were young, we are young. When we were younger, when we said something that was wrong, we were corrected immediately, immediately, like somebody smarter them, which made us feel like, Okay, if I'm going to say something, I should know something about.

It, right like you do in the real world. Exactly.

Well, on the in girl worlds, as they say, mean girls, you need to make a public statement about everything, and people are like you didn't really talk about this? Like what, no people didn't like it when we did The Black Box. They don't like, we have to listen to people. Why don't we stay listening to people?

Like stop? No, you just have to march forward without listening to anybody.

And that's what a lot of people do, and they're really good at it, and some of them are successful.

Oh, extremely successful. Do you know what I will say about teenagers right now? I used to be scared of teenagers because I was like, oh, they're cooler than me or they know something. In the last like three years, I've become scared of them because they're there's a scary look in their eyes, especially teenage boys. There's a real like lacrosse sex predator looking almost everyone of their eyes at this point. Yes, I don't know what's happened. It's trendy, well Joe Rogan, Yes, but they've all been turned into this death.

This is the thing they're all. I truly believe that every they're all so easily swayed the other way. They could easily sway the other way, the wayward wind.

But how do we get them? We just don't.

You don't let them know that you're getting them.

You have to shame them.

Interesting They all have a kink shame. They all want to be everybody wants to be shamed.

At some level. You want to be shamed.

At the highest level I think. I think at the jujitsal level, it's like that how they want to be.

We learned through shame.

Absolutely, people do need to get bullied a little bit.

I completely agree. I was bullied. I was bullied and I bullied right, and you're gonna bully me after this podcast. We're going to feel like shit and I want That's why I came here.

But people are not not learning their lessons anymore.

No, there's no I mean, there are so many lessons to learn and simply no one's standing up to anybody.

No.

You know who taught me the Sherry Lewis taught me a lot of lessons.

Classic bully sharing. Oh the biggest bully, Lamb Chop was kind of a bully I think because she was small. It came from insecurity. Absolutely.

I have found her daughter on TikTok, which I like.

Sherry Lewis has a daughter, Yeah, and she's half Lamb. Now could you imagine there were things going on on that s set. Yeah, what is her thing? Is she an influencer.

No, she's just sort of like kind of reliving her mother's memory.

Goodness.

I have said this once on a podcast before, so I really hope. Well it does bear repeating, so I'll say it again. When Cherry Lewis died, I did set up like a shrine of lambtop things on the room.

Oh that's so sweet. Do you have a lamb chop stall? I did, okay, and like a Charlie Horse. Was that one of them I had? Well, I didn't really kind of do it well.

He was a side character, yeah, but he had that kind of lacrosse is.

Yeah, completely. He was kind of the prototype.

Yes, but yeah I had. I had a pillow that I remember that when I was five years old I threw up on because my appendix structure.

Oh my god, you're appendix ruptured at five. It really wasn't in for the long call.

No, No, it actually was kind of in and out.

I'm out of here. Yeah, I gotta go. I can't do this planet.

But it does save you some weight. It was a good way. I was already concerned about it at five.

So how much does an appendix? Way too much? She probably lost a great percentage of weight as a five year old. Absolutely, you're like, wow, I really slim down this call.

My BMI is looking amazing. They're like, you're in five years old.

You just lost an organ. Yeah. So, Say Lewis's daughter is on TikTok selling all kinds of things. She has her own tictalk.

She hasn't sold anything, right, she's just kind of selling the American dream.

Oh is there any like Oh, politically this could get dicey. No, except for the red hair. Oh interesting, if you like glanced, you would say, is she wearing a red hat?

Maybe?

And I really I feel like that. The tone I'm taking is like I'm talking down to her, I'm looking.

Up to her. She sounds like she's doing she's doing great, she's doing pure.

Yes, she's doing what you'd want Cherry Lewis's daughter to do on TikTok. She's doing it right, and she's spreading positive message.

It's lovely. Yeah, thank god Cherry didn't live to see TikTok. I think she would have liked it.

Actually, she's a kind of Republican code Cherry Lewis. Oh, I don't want to know this well, And I only say that because it's sort of like off brand Sesame Street.

Oh wow, I've never really put did she start lamb chomps? Because she's like Sesame Street is getting too political. They've got someone who lives in a garbage can.

I think maybe? Oh no, I have no idea.

No, Sherry was a hard leftist.

Yes, I want to believe that. Yes, I want to believe that.

Yes. I mean she had the animals coming together.

And they had that song that Never ended all right.

Which is kind of an equality message, enough song for everyone.

Yes, that was sort of the drive force behind the song that Never ends.

Good for her from essentially leaving a curse on earth with that song, she left something. She left a daughter and a curse. Well, I think it's time to play a game. I agree. I think let's play Gift Master today. Actually, we haven't played this in a while. I need a number between one and ten from you. Eight. Okay. Actually I'm switching my mind. I want to play gift or a Curse, but I'll still use the same number. Okay, I have to do some light calcul Oh wait, if.

It's a different game, I need to give a different number.

Okay, I do need a different number for me. What number would two two? Oh a perfect number for this. I need to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. Okay, so you can recommend, promote, do whatever you want. I'll be right back.

Okay, great, I don't have anything to promote, actually, but you can follow me on Instagram and you can go to my medical spot when it opens. And because they don't have any sort of medical credentials, I won't be performing any of the services, which is a good thing, and it is the right thing.

Okay, that's great. I believe in Utah you don't have to have a license to do, to drive, to do anything at all. No, to drive, you don't need it. No, there's that. I don't know if you watch Housewives of Salt Lake City, but one of them owns the Beauty Lab and Laser. Oh Gay, right? You think her name's Gay? No, Meredith Gay. I don't watch Whitney Whitney Whitney Gay.

Is that her last name. One of them owns a medical spot.

Correct, Yes, a successful medical spot called Beauty Lab and Laser. And I've been there multiple times. I've never gotten a treatment.

Just when got a picture, well, you get a mint at the front.

They don't even give you a mint. Come on, Beauty Lab, I know you're listening. Put some pillow mints up there for people to get.

For passerbys, for me when you're taking your eight flights in New York.

Give I need a lunch, my mint lunch. Okay, we've got to stay on task here. I can't get us off. I'm gonna name three things. Okay, you're gonna tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why. Oh, but I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because there are correct answers. Yes, my very clear, very crystal number one curse, and I'll tell you why. Okay, I'm ready. I'm so sorry. This is from a listener named Kristen. Gift or a curse unscented lotion curse?

Why because the way lotion was developed. It was developed because the scent is sort of the best part about it. Otherwise it's just goop, right, And I understand that the lotion does serve a purpose of sort of moisturizing the skin, but it comes at a great cost. And the great cost is that it feels awful and it feels like goop. And I think that the only way to kind of counteract the kind of glop is the scent. Now, the scentse do come in kind of different tiers of what's sort of acceptable and not. And I think your kind of middle ground is coconut, which is polarizing because it does sort of go vacation but swears very hard to suntan lotion.

Right.

People are smelling the beach, people are smelling the pool.

Yes, but I think your higher tier are your sort of special flavors are like your florals.

Your sun florals are good. Sure, sure, and that's the correct answer. Wrong, whoh oh, you don't get the point unscented lotion. If I put on a scented lotion, I immediately think I am not being and I as you know, your business is just about to blossom and we don't do lotions, so I'm not But I need you to be more of an expert on this head. Okay, when I put on a scented lotion, I know I'm not getting the moisture I need. I'm putting on a thick perfume. I do not want. What's wrong with that? If I wanted perfume, I would do a light spritzer.

Well, do you know that the oils from the lotion helped the scent state longer.

I learned that on TikTok.

You'll never guess what I learned. So I'm listening, I'm just not hearing.

You know, when I'm at a hotel or at somewhere that supplies a lotion, I know I'm in immediate danger because I know it's going to have a smell. It'll be a floral smell. I'll put it on and it's essentially somewhere between water and gak and uh popery. None of those things is doing what it needs to moisturize my body.

And so popery the famous moistureiss.

I'm rubbing into my skin, just dust all over my body.

Pine Combe, just crack foliator.

That's not a bad idea. Now again, I could be an early investor after cutting the rim.

It's like an African net sponge. It's a pine cone?

Is that a real thing? An African nut sponge? Net net sponge? Sorry, did you not understand my accent? My accent when said African net sponge? Net sponge? Is that anything like a loofa?

It's well, a loofah is sort of like what white people started to do when we stopped using the washcloth, which I never I will not do.

I've never started.

Well, then maybe that's the reason the lotions are so irritating, is that you're not kind of scrubbing off the top layer.

I'm using the lufa.

Oh boy, that is that's sort of like a disease waiting to happen. I think the loofa is so the net sponge is in essence to break it down. Is like the loofa if it weren't sewn together. Oh so, it's like just like like miles and miles of tool like tools tools.

Not a bad idea for a shower tool, No, absolutely not a beautiful tool hanging from the side of your shoes.

I'm distracting you because I'm still not kind of understanding you're in immediate danger.

You're at an hi e holiday and excented lotion, and we all have to start with an unscented lotion. I understand, what do you stink and you want to smell it up with your roses or your sandal woods, But that should come as a second layer to the medically dermatology prescribed. They don't sense unscented lotion. Is a gift. It's a base, it's a foundation.

What lotion are you using? Vanny cream?

What is it?

I mean, I'm going to say that you're scream a veno? No, that's fine.

I Jennifer Aniston has been using it for years. You know she's bathing in Yeah, veno and like a vat, Yes of a veno? Yes, No, I'm hey, listen, I'm not. I don't believe in expensive products.

Oh a lot of it's I mean, it is a scam, so much of us. Listen.

There's only two different tiers of products, well three free.

Uh, over the counter and prescription. Yes, And the only thing.

That works are prescriptions and procedures. So I'm sorry if you got it over the counter, lemaire I was used to.

Here's in a mall, kiosk. Stop it.

It's in a glass container, you fucking fool. There's mineral oil as the first ingredient.

It's oil. It's all the oil, grease, it's grease, butter, it's goop, exactly what I've been saying. But it's scented, right, and people fall for and it's French, yes, or at least the name is all right. I'm sorry that I got that you got it wrong, but don't let that shake your confidence too much.

It hasn't at all. Actually, it's only kind of embolden me.

I'm ready, okay. The second one is from somebody named Olie Gift to a curse, joking to your waiter at a restaurant that you did not like a dish that you've clearly just devoured. Absolutely, that's a curse.

Why that is the lowest tier of comedy available of going well, I hated it, and then pushing the clean plate back.

To the waiter.

Oh my god, that is like that for me. When I think of that, I think of David and Goliath. I am David and I'm taking the sling shot right to the head, and I'm dead and I want and I want everyone dead. It's I don't, I've it's so terrible. If it's been done before, if the joke in the bit has been done before, I think maybe let's put it to rest.

You are correct, it's a curse. And I'm looking at this from the waiter's perspective. This poor person is just trying to do their job, and part of that is acting like they enjoy your company. And you're pushing it to the limit by telling them that a joke, a joke that they have heard a billion times.

Right, this person should not be subjected to your open mic. I have actually wait, I'm going to say something. I'm going to give it a disclaimer to that.

Okay, let's hear it.

I think it's okay if somebody says that joke ironically.

But if they say it, but I mean, there's it's too quick of an interaction to deal with irony and all of this.

Waiter prompts you with a let me guess you didn't like it, then you can hit them with a yeah, I hated it. And it's a quick there's there's it's harmless. It's a harmless interaction. But I also now I'm on your side of it being a curse. But if the but I really do feel for the table, right, how shameful?

Oh so embarrassing, embarrassing never returning to the restaurant with that person. At least no, no, no, no, they've been excommunicated from the group. That's goodbye. I will work to have them banned. Oh yeah, yeah, it's a complete curse. And yeah, I think at least letting the waiter be in control of this dynamic. They should be in control of everything of the country. Yes, I actually kind of believe that. Okay, so you've gotten one so far, and this is the final one. This is from somebody named Mariss gift or a curse writing no caption needed as your caption to a picture online, there's a it's a two.

It's a double edged sword because it's a curse to you, and it's a gift to me because I know now. And the gift is I know to avoid you, and the curse is you have no original thoughts of your own.

No caption needed. I did a thing. I did a thing. Can I just a slight detour? Please? Slight? We haven't taken any Yeah. Have you seen the documentary about the Gray's Anatomy liar, the writer that was lying about her entire life? Oh no, oh, you have to see it. It is fascinating. She lied about literally any traumatic event you can imagine. She lied about having it from cancer to having somebody die in a mass shooting. And her name is Rachel Dolza. I mean she's kind of the Rachel of the of Medical of Grey's anatom Yeah, but I think they show a screenshot of something she did that I think was the biggest red flag possible. I think it may have been her first her the first episode she wrote of Gray's Anatomy or something, and she got on Twitter and the first sentence of this tweet.

Is my nails are like in my palms, they're like bleeding.

Uh huh. I did a thing. Period. That's or maybe it was I wrote a thing. Either way, if I had been one of her co workers, I would have started telling everyone there's something going with Elizabeth. Yeah, let's let's figure this out, because this could be uh rape Fanny fast going off. I pull it. The fire alarm is off. Absolutely, really I did. I wrote a thing. It doesn't matter either, it doesn't matter what the verb is there. It's the most insane thing you could possibly write. And then, as a professional writer, this person, I mean like every element of it was like this.

Person like your poetic license should be revoked. Absolutely, that's crazy.

Your is a curse. Yeah, it's a curse. Yeah, And okay, so you're saying, but you're saying, no caption needed is a gift to you which you have to pick one side or the other. Oh curse.

Okay, I'm seeing like that that the silver lining is the gift of that, like I know to just avoid this person at all costs, right right.

Unfortunately, you do not get the point it's a gift for reasons that you did outline. Oh okay, I mean my finger is floating over mute at all times. The list of people I've.

Muted at this point, I've never muted anyone. Do you unfollow No, I kind of suffer you just deal with it, well, because I have to know what the other ninety nine percent thing, you know.

I do have a few of those in my feed where I'm like, I got to keep an eye.

I have to keep There are some people that I have that I have not unfollowed because I'm keeping tabs on them because you can learn, you can grow. Because I know the FBI is going to contact me and go where what were they doing? And that I can have the keys to kind of get them thrown into jail. I know that, and so I know that I have a kind of social and moral obligation to keep tabs on these people.

Yeah, you say, here's a screenshot I wrote a thing exactly. Lock her up.

Boy, she can't be trusted. She can't be trusted at all, and they're like, what that was? Ryan Murphy.

Throw them in. Ryan Murphy gets on Twitter and says, I wrote it. I wrote a thing. That's all I want in the world. We're getting there, Ryan, reach out. Well you got one out of three okay, bad, not good, not good, but room to grow, room to learn, and that's all we want out of anyone on this podcast. This is the final segment. This is called they said no emails people write into I said, no gifts at gmail dot com begging for answers. That's all you need to know. Can you hope me answer a question? Please? Okay, let me get into the doc. Okay, this says dear guest. Now, I mean they usually say dear Bridger and guests, so this is it sounds like this is can I see the laptop? It's for me? No, No, that's for me, actually, dear guest. I mean I feel Look, I'm a sensitive person, so I'm a little shaken.

Right.

That's dear Guests and specifically not Bridger. Okay. It says every year my family asks for a list of things each family member would like for Christmas, and it always feels very impersonal not much thought is put into the gifts besides picking something to buy from said list, and it feels more like an obligation. This year, I want to approach the holidays differently and move away from capitalist gift giving. I'm twenty seven, and while there is many a thing I would like to get, I feel the money spent on gifts could go to better causes like charities. How can I convince my family to put their money to better use so we can all be more altruistic this upcoming holiday season? Yours truly, Lauren in Durham, And again, I guess you will have to start. I'm happy to provide some information, but Lauren has specifically asked just for yours, at least initially. I Lauren from Durham.

I I like where your heart is at. I think kind of suck it up, Buttercup.

Listen and I don't.

I don't, I don't know you Wait wait wait, wait wait, Lauren lor Lauren, back up, edit this out, no keep it? And I want her to note my inner thoughts. I think that what I mean, what do you want?

What do you want?

Like?

What do you want? I understand?

And I'm gonna say this Lauren, I'm gonna I'm iye to eye with you right now. I don't like gifts either one because a lot of it is just people just give you junk to be like I got you junk.

I'm familiar as you have.

Open packets of try to and Korean sheet masks in front of you.

But you'll use this will be using and that doesn't take up real estate. They will eventually get to be thrown away, right and you because you were made into a quilt or something. Yes, yes, yes, so.

I'm with you where it's just like we don't I don't need this. I don't need you to go to the sharper image and get me like, but it's a wire, it keeps on your wires together. I don't I'm with you.

I don't need that.

But listen, your family, your parents, they don't have much time left, and I just sort of think you have to kind of like let them do what they want to do.

Is kind of Lauren. Your family's about to say Lauren is a kill joy. She's just making Christmas so boring. Yes, look, maybe you do a combination.

I think that's what I was just going to say, a hybrid. Let's say, let's put a price limit on it.

Yes, price limit. Start from there, and then I'm going to give someone the gift of love, friendship.

Love's people go, here's a gift, and it's like the receipt for like I donated to the zoo, Yes, right, Yes, my favorite charity the zoo, the Detroit Zoo.

Yes, have a beautiful water feature.

Yeah, they do so much for the community question mark. Yeah, I love them.

Yeah, so donate to the zoo. Yeah. I think a hybrid where you maybe you do the list of things you want and then a list of potential charities, or say, maybe we limit it to small businesses. We can only buy each other things from local small business.

Yes, or you know how like in the campaign when you buy like campaign merchants actually like a donation to the campaign?

Do they have that for charities? Oh? Probably right? Do them oversized t shirt? Yes, I'll fit a tote bag hat. Everyone needs a tote bag and an ill fitting hat. Water bottle, Oh my god, I could use another, a keychain do that? That's not ask for that?

Why don't you be the change you want to see in the world and ask for literally your donat the donation and then your.

Family members may follow your lead unless you're the one that they don't like already. Well, here's the thing it would be.

It's gonna be so self righteous that you show up to Christmas and somebody's like, I got a Nintendo DS, and then another person is like, I got a seventy four inch TV, and you turn to them with a little envelope and go I asked mother and father to donate to the Little Sisters of the Poor. You selfish bit.

I'd love to be playing Mario right now, but I have to contact the Little Sisters of the Poor. Maybe sometime you can show me a TV show because I donated mine and I don't have nothing. Can I get a ride home? Lauren, You're so lucky that I even chipped in here. I mean, I had no reason to give you any advice. I'm so rude. Don't write back in. It was crazy.

She and you know what, for someone who didn't want anything, she did kind of want our time.

She wanted attention. She obviously wanted to be seen as a good person, which she clearly isn't. No, she listens to this podcast, She's a rotten egg. No bad news, Lauren. Sorry, Merry Christmas, Happy holidays. Your family is going to be pissed. Well, we answered it perfectly, absolutely perfectly, And now I've got gum for days. This can go in my car. I won't go in my bags.

It'll molk gry.

Yes, oh it'll go with my freezer. Oh yeah, please beg your freezer. It'll melt. That's a new trend I got that could start dry yogurt kind of like I just its like nobody carring, nobody cares about, like your gut floor and anymore. No, no, no, no, no, no, no one cares. Let it die, no, let it die. No awful? Oh on, at least we forgot to play your version of Gift a Curse today. But I think we've gone. We've probably got enough audio here. We'll play it another time. We have two hours. I couldn't.

It's my it's my fault that this went so long. I didn't stop.

Adam called me before the show and said, don't let on Alis, do think of your coast today. I can't. I don't have the strength or the patient. Now is Adam undermining you? Is it me? Or is it Adam? It's everyone. I can't trust anyone in my life of thinking.

If you were sick, you've sort of been around him, so there's bound to be a fuel share of I'm looking for a room. That's what I'm saying, and I hope I get it.

Congratulations on the new podcast, Adam, Thank you, please enjoy it. No, I've got I'm so thrilled to become a new person with all these products and then come to your place to have all of the damage fixed after this causes perfect yes, uh scarring. That's how we go. This is how you get people in.

You create the problem, and then you solve it by creating a new problem.

That's the cycle. I've had such a wonderful time with you here to me too. Thank you for being here and listener, the podcast is over. My voice basically made it. You've gone just a I was smoking the whole time. Isn't that an image? Isn't that a pretty image? Me just lighting up cigarette after cigarette while I record a podcast while my guests can't smoke. That'll be the next episode. Okay, it's over, I love you, goodbye, I said. No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolladay. The theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy Mann and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said, no gifts, that's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts line? Man? Did you hear? Thot? A man?

Myself perfectly clear? But you're I guess, Tom, you gotta come to me empty? And I said, no, guest, your own presence is presents in love.

I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me

In 1 playlist(s)

  1. I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar

    263 clip(s)

I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar

On I Said No Gifts!, host Bridger Winegar invites friends, loved ones and people he’s secretly tryin… 
Social links
Follow podcast
Recent clips
Browse 263 clip(s)