This week is about what men really need to open up in a relationship, and why asking him to talk about his feelings might be the thing that makes him shut down.

Kristina Ferrari is a licensed professional counselor with a master’s in mental health counseling, and she’s been in therapy herself for over 15 years.

She makes the case that modern therapy is failing men because it’s built around a style that favors talking things through, while most guys show up wanting to solve something and move forward.

As a therapist who does a lot of relationship work, she also challenges the idea that women are better at relationships, including how women communicate when they’re upset. Then she walks us through her REAL framework for working with men: Respect, Expertise, Action, and Leadership. It’s a roadmap for understanding what helps a man feel safe enough to get to the deeper stuff.

If you’ve ever said “just tell me what’s going on” and gotten nothing back, this one is for you.

New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy.
And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it’s not. So if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help.

00:00:00 – Intro
00:01:42 – Why Therapy Is Failing Men
00:05:03 – Coaching vs. Therapy
00:17:18 – Women Aren’t Better at Relationships
00:22:41 – The REAL Framework