Forty five days of the year we spend watching TV. If we watch an average of three hours of TV every single day, isn't that insane? I'm Raley Wukiah and on my podcast A Really Good Cry, we embrace the messy.

Forty five days of the year we spend watching TV. If we watch an average of three hours of TV every single day, isn't that insane? I'm Raley Wukiah and on my podcast A Really Good Cry, we embrace the messy.

And the beautiful, providing a space for.

And the beautiful, providing a space for.

Raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together. Hi everyone, and welcome back to this week's episode of A Really Good Cry. I hope you've all had such a lovely, lovely week. I have had a pretty great one. Actually, it's been really busy, but all good busy, you know, like the kind of busy that you want to be. Every time I do feel like my life is getting a little bit hectic, I always remember this quote that says an idle mind is the devil's playground, and I was like, you know what, in that tro whenever I have too much time on my hands, which honestly haven't had for a while, it definitely allowed too much space for overthinking and also so doing things that weren't necessarily at the frequency I wanted to be doing the mat So being busy islways a good thing. So today I wanted to talk about how to not waste your evenings because I heard this one statistic and it literally changed everything. It changed how I spend my evenings, Like it has been embedded into my mind and I now cannot unhear it. It is that the average person watches three hours of TV per evening.

Raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together. Hi everyone, and welcome back to this week's episode of A Really Good Cry. I hope you've all had such a lovely, lovely week. I have had a pretty great one. Actually, it's been really busy, but all good busy, you know, like the kind of busy that you want to be. Every time I do feel like my life is getting a little bit hectic, I always remember this quote that says an idle mind is the devil's playground, and I was like, you know what, in that tro whenever I have too much time on my hands, which honestly haven't had for a while, it definitely allowed too much space for overthinking and also so doing things that weren't necessarily at the frequency I wanted to be doing the mat So being busy islways a good thing. So today I wanted to talk about how to not waste your evenings because I heard this one statistic and it literally changed everything. It changed how I spend my evenings, Like it has been embedded into my mind and I now cannot unhear it. It is that the average person watches three hours of TV per evening.

That's twenty one hours.

That's twenty one hours.

A week, which totals to one thousand and ninety five hours, which is forty five days of the year watching TV. Forty five days of the year we spend watching TV. If we watch an average of three hours of TV every single day, isn't that insane? Forty five days of the year. Now, imagine if you even spent just half of your evening on things that you've been dreaming of doing, trying to find the time to finish or create something that you've always wanted to. That's over twenty more days that you just freed up for yourself, twenty days your evenings of the time that you get for yourself.

A week, which totals to one thousand and ninety five hours, which is forty five days of the year watching TV. Forty five days of the year we spend watching TV. If we watch an average of three hours of TV every single day, isn't that insane? Forty five days of the year. Now, imagine if you even spent just half of your evening on things that you've been dreaming of doing, trying to find the time to finish or create something that you've always wanted to. That's over twenty more days that you just freed up for yourself, twenty days your evenings of the time that you get for yourself.

I get it.

I get it.

It's those few hours after work, maybe after your kids go to sleep. You know, that little bit of time that you get just to yourself. And for years, I honestly felt like I was trapped between this feeling of wanting to wedge out and do absolutely nothing, because yes, I was tired from my busy days, but also wanting to do all the things that I haven't had time to do during the day, or finishing things that I haven't completed yet. And honestly, I got to a point where I was just tired of not reaching the goals that I had or starting things that I've always wanted to, and also feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled spending every single night watching TV after TV show after show, and it didn't make me feel inspired or excited or positive about life. Watching TV is quite a low frequency thing, especially with the things that we end up watching. If you're watching a documentary, if you're watching something educational, if you're watching something that makes you feel good, that's one thing. But most of the things that people are watching nowadays are actually pulling at the lower frequency versions of ourself. And what I mean by that, it's our lower tendencies gossiping.

It's those few hours after work, maybe after your kids go to sleep. You know, that little bit of time that you get just to yourself. And for years, I honestly felt like I was trapped between this feeling of wanting to wedge out and do absolutely nothing, because yes, I was tired from my busy days, but also wanting to do all the things that I haven't had time to do during the day, or finishing things that I haven't completed yet. And honestly, I got to a point where I was just tired of not reaching the goals that I had or starting things that I've always wanted to, and also feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled spending every single night watching TV after TV show after show, and it didn't make me feel inspired or excited or positive about life. Watching TV is quite a low frequency thing, especially with the things that we end up watching. If you're watching a documentary, if you're watching something educational, if you're watching something that makes you feel good, that's one thing. But most of the things that people are watching nowadays are actually pulling at the lower frequency versions of ourself. And what I mean by that, it's our lower tendencies gossiping.

Like if you think.

Like if you think.

About reality TV, it's all based on gossip. If you think about a lot of the shows that are famous right now, they're all scary and dark or a lot of them just have a lot of sex in them. And I think that a lot of these things that we end up watching become us. Every single thing that we put into our mind or let through our senses becomes us, and so I always try to think. Look, of course, there are days where I love just sitting and watching a bit of Love Island, but I'm also aware of what it does to my mind, because if I'm watching gossip, I'm more likely to gossip. I'm more likely to get excited by gossip in real life if I'm getting excited about it while watching it. And now listen, I'm really not saying that you're wasting time if you're watching a show every single night or scrolling on Instagram all night. If you are happy and content about it, then that's great, But I feel like most of us are not. Deep down, if you think about it, you're probably not really happy that that's how you're spending your nights and it is not fulfilling you. So, if you're like me, and you're someone who keeps wishing that they had time to do all the things they wanted to do, the dreams, the goals, or the things in your life that you feel you just don't get the time to do during the day, or if at the end of the night you're thinking, what did I even do with my evening? I wish I had done this, this or this. Then these few hours are your golden hours, and this episode is specifically made for you.

About reality TV, it's all based on gossip. If you think about a lot of the shows that are famous right now, they're all scary and dark or a lot of them just have a lot of sex in them. And I think that a lot of these things that we end up watching become us. Every single thing that we put into our mind or let through our senses becomes us, and so I always try to think. Look, of course, there are days where I love just sitting and watching a bit of Love Island, but I'm also aware of what it does to my mind, because if I'm watching gossip, I'm more likely to gossip. I'm more likely to get excited by gossip in real life if I'm getting excited about it while watching it. And now listen, I'm really not saying that you're wasting time if you're watching a show every single night or scrolling on Instagram all night. If you are happy and content about it, then that's great, But I feel like most of us are not. Deep down, if you think about it, you're probably not really happy that that's how you're spending your nights and it is not fulfilling you. So, if you're like me, and you're someone who keeps wishing that they had time to do all the things they wanted to do, the dreams, the goals, or the things in your life that you feel you just don't get the time to do during the day, or if at the end of the night you're thinking, what did I even do with my evening? I wish I had done this, this or this. Then these few hours are your golden hours, and this episode is specifically made for you.

This is the first step.

This is the first step.

If you've chosen to click on this, it means that you want to change how you are spending your evenings. I've been there, and so I know how frustrating the cycle can be. You finish work, you're tired, and I can't even imagine once you have kids, you then have to look after them, and then that means you just want to sit in front of the TV and decompress, switch off, and not use your mind or body for anything.

If you've chosen to click on this, it means that you want to change how you are spending your evenings. I've been there, and so I know how frustrating the cycle can be. You finish work, you're tired, and I can't even imagine once you have kids, you then have to look after them, and then that means you just want to sit in front of the TV and decompress, switch off, and not use your mind or body for anything.

I've been saying for months.

I've been saying for months.

I wanted to start a course, and I wanted to read this book, and I wanted more time to be creative or to dance classes or try new things. But I kept wasting my evenings doing the thing that I was used to over and over again that I actually don't want to be doing. So I looked into some of the psychology behind this, and there was something I came across called the reward system trap after a stress all day, our brain craves instant gratification like scrolling or streaming to just activate some sort of dopamine feeling. The feel good chemical that's in our brain is called dopamine. And so every single time we feel restless or tired or exhausted or not in a good mood, we're trying to find instant gratification where we can get this little hit of dopamine. And if we've already created the reward system being foods that are bad for us TV that's not stimulating us but gives us some sort of excitement or a sensation like that, that's what we end up going to.

I wanted to start a course, and I wanted to read this book, and I wanted more time to be creative or to dance classes or try new things. But I kept wasting my evenings doing the thing that I was used to over and over again that I actually don't want to be doing. So I looked into some of the psychology behind this, and there was something I came across called the reward system trap after a stress all day, our brain craves instant gratification like scrolling or streaming to just activate some sort of dopamine feeling. The feel good chemical that's in our brain is called dopamine. And so every single time we feel restless or tired or exhausted or not in a good mood, we're trying to find instant gratification where we can get this little hit of dopamine. And if we've already created the reward system being foods that are bad for us TV that's not stimulating us but gives us some sort of excitement or a sensation like that, that's what we end up going to.

But then I came.

But then I came.

Across something which is called the future self reward plan. It's basically when you choose to delay your gratification and then that strengthens your self control and motivation, and actually delaying gratification isn't deprivation. I always like I grew up not doing a lot of things in my life. I grew up deciding not to do drugs or do alcohol or a lot of the things that people were trying to find instant gratification for. When I was younger, and I spent a lot of my life being in discipline. And I remember when I was in discipline and people would see me, they'd be like, why are you restricting yourself? Why are you restricting yourself? Why you're not letting loose and having fun. And people really saw discipline and delayed gratification as me stopping myself or limiting myself, and they saw spontaneity and indulging in every single thing as being free. But actually, as I've gotten older, the thing that I've realized most is that discipline gives freedom. And actually, when you're controlled by your senses, when you're controlled by the things around you, when you're controlled by the things that you're eating or drinking or the things around you, you're actually.

Across something which is called the future self reward plan. It's basically when you choose to delay your gratification and then that strengthens your self control and motivation, and actually delaying gratification isn't deprivation. I always like I grew up not doing a lot of things in my life. I grew up deciding not to do drugs or do alcohol or a lot of the things that people were trying to find instant gratification for. When I was younger, and I spent a lot of my life being in discipline. And I remember when I was in discipline and people would see me, they'd be like, why are you restricting yourself? Why are you restricting yourself? Why you're not letting loose and having fun. And people really saw discipline and delayed gratification as me stopping myself or limiting myself, and they saw spontaneity and indulging in every single thing as being free. But actually, as I've gotten older, the thing that I've realized most is that discipline gives freedom. And actually, when you're controlled by your senses, when you're controlled by the things around you, when you're controlled by the things that you're eating or drinking or the things around you, you're actually.

Not in control.

Not in control.

And so my whole mindset around deprivation has completely changed because actually controlling yourself is actually empowering. And so when you have the ability to not say yes to your senses every single time they come knocking, this delayed gratification actually.

And so my whole mindset around deprivation has completely changed because actually controlling yourself is actually empowering. And so when you have the ability to not say yes to your senses every single time they come knocking, this delayed gratification actually.

Makes you feel so empowered. You end up building trust with yourself.

Makes you feel so empowered. You end up building trust with yourself.

You prove to yourself that you can set goals, that you can stick to them, and that you can enjoy the rewards without impulsive decisions. Every single time that you follow through, you're essentially training your brain to prioritize long term success over short term comfort.

You prove to yourself that you can set goals, that you can stick to them, and that you can enjoy the rewards without impulsive decisions. Every single time that you follow through, you're essentially training your brain to prioritize long term success over short term comfort.

I've also realized.

I've also realized.

When we say we're so tired and we want to wear out in front of the TV, a lot of the time it's saying I need some rest. But there's so many different types of tired and so many different types of rest. So let me explain what I mean by that. You have to reset your view of what rest actually means. I actually don't think people realize this, but there are different types of tired and different types of rest. So the different types of tired, what I mean by that is mental, physical, and emotional. And so in the same way, there are different types of rest that we might need, physical, mental, or emotional, and usually our solution to all of them is wodging out and watching something. But if you are mentally tired, actually stimulating your mind by watching TV may actually end up with you feeling more tired after watching it. So distinguishing what kind of tired you are and noticing the symptoms is so important. So, for example, the next time you feel physically exhausted, maybe you've had a hard day on your feet. That could still mean you could read a couple of pages of a book while you've got your feet in a foot massage, or you could sit cozy on your sofa and map out your next business plan. Physical rest means your physical body needs rest, but think, oh, it is my mind actually still ready to read a few pages or plan something or write something. You may still have that mental juice left in you. And if you're mentally tired, that might mean, oh, maybe I just need to close my eyes and listen to some music. Maybe I need to not think about anything and actually put on a beautiful audiobook that I've been meaning to listen to. And so you're receiving things without having to actually put an effort to do anything mentally. And if you need emotional rest, maybe that means you just don't want to be around people, You want to lock yourself in the dark room, and you just want to be with yourself. And so distinguishing between the three and then having solutions for the different ones stops you from just having the automatic go to of just sitting on the sofa watching something. I think we also need to reset our view of what rest means like there's something called active rest, So over time, I really think that we've conditioned ourselves to associate evenings with passive consumption rather than meaningful rest. So we kind of have to reframe our evenings as more of a space for active rest, not passive consumption. What I mean with that it's passive consumption is what I said watching up front of the TV. Active rest are the other options. What can I do that actually makes me feel fulfilled by the end of the day, The things that are going to make me feel like I've achieved the things I want to while still feeling like I'm doing it in a non anxious state, because I think a lot of our day also we go through it doing these activities anxiously. So maybe resting for you is just doing things slower in the evening, still doing the things you want to be doing, but doing them at a slower pace. We tend to base our standards and definitions of things based on what we've either seen others do in our family or what society encourages us to do. But something I remind myself of regularly is that just because it's the norm does not mean it's the right thing to do well, at least the right thing for me to do so, realizing that just because eighty percent or ninety percent of the world are sitting there watching TV after they've had a long day at work, does it mean that something you have to do if that's not what you actually want to do. The next thing I think can really help to get out of the patterns that you have created in the evening is a pre commitment strategy. Do not make it an option or a decision to make. Have a pre committed strategy. What that means is you pre plan. Nothing happens without planning. You will go back to your automated response if you do not make a alternate plan for you to stick to. So if I feel like this, I will do ex excess. If I feel physically tired, I will do this. If I feel mentally tired, I will do this. If I don't feel like doing any of them, the last resort is this, have a plan A, a plan B, and a plan C.

When we say we're so tired and we want to wear out in front of the TV, a lot of the time it's saying I need some rest. But there's so many different types of tired and so many different types of rest. So let me explain what I mean by that. You have to reset your view of what rest actually means. I actually don't think people realize this, but there are different types of tired and different types of rest. So the different types of tired, what I mean by that is mental, physical, and emotional. And so in the same way, there are different types of rest that we might need, physical, mental, or emotional, and usually our solution to all of them is wodging out and watching something. But if you are mentally tired, actually stimulating your mind by watching TV may actually end up with you feeling more tired after watching it. So distinguishing what kind of tired you are and noticing the symptoms is so important. So, for example, the next time you feel physically exhausted, maybe you've had a hard day on your feet. That could still mean you could read a couple of pages of a book while you've got your feet in a foot massage, or you could sit cozy on your sofa and map out your next business plan. Physical rest means your physical body needs rest, but think, oh, it is my mind actually still ready to read a few pages or plan something or write something. You may still have that mental juice left in you. And if you're mentally tired, that might mean, oh, maybe I just need to close my eyes and listen to some music. Maybe I need to not think about anything and actually put on a beautiful audiobook that I've been meaning to listen to. And so you're receiving things without having to actually put an effort to do anything mentally. And if you need emotional rest, maybe that means you just don't want to be around people, You want to lock yourself in the dark room, and you just want to be with yourself. And so distinguishing between the three and then having solutions for the different ones stops you from just having the automatic go to of just sitting on the sofa watching something. I think we also need to reset our view of what rest means like there's something called active rest, So over time, I really think that we've conditioned ourselves to associate evenings with passive consumption rather than meaningful rest. So we kind of have to reframe our evenings as more of a space for active rest, not passive consumption. What I mean with that it's passive consumption is what I said watching up front of the TV. Active rest are the other options. What can I do that actually makes me feel fulfilled by the end of the day, The things that are going to make me feel like I've achieved the things I want to while still feeling like I'm doing it in a non anxious state, because I think a lot of our day also we go through it doing these activities anxiously. So maybe resting for you is just doing things slower in the evening, still doing the things you want to be doing, but doing them at a slower pace. We tend to base our standards and definitions of things based on what we've either seen others do in our family or what society encourages us to do. But something I remind myself of regularly is that just because it's the norm does not mean it's the right thing to do well, at least the right thing for me to do so, realizing that just because eighty percent or ninety percent of the world are sitting there watching TV after they've had a long day at work, does it mean that something you have to do if that's not what you actually want to do. The next thing I think can really help to get out of the patterns that you have created in the evening is a pre commitment strategy. Do not make it an option or a decision to make. Have a pre committed strategy. What that means is you pre plan. Nothing happens without planning. You will go back to your automated response if you do not make a alternate plan for you to stick to. So if I feel like this, I will do ex excess. If I feel physically tired, I will do this. If I feel mentally tired, I will do this. If I don't feel like doing any of them, the last resort is this, have a plan A, a plan B, and a plan C.

So you just don't give up. So you know that you tried doing A.

So you just don't give up. So you know that you tried doing A.

I wasn't ready for it. I'm too tired for that. But maybe let me try a plan B. And last off if that doesn't work, let me try Plan C, and if all else fails, then I will go to the TV.

I wasn't ready for it. I'm too tired for that. But maybe let me try a plan B. And last off if that doesn't work, let me try Plan C, and if all else fails, then I will go to the TV.

But usually you'll get to.

But usually you'll get to.

Plan A or at least Plan B, and you'll feel like you'll have got at least a little bit more done than you normally would have. So for me, it's like, Okay, I want to read ten pages of this book, but if I feel too sleepy to read and I'm falling asleep, I'll say, okay, maybe I'll just read five pages. And if I really can't do that, I'll say, okay, maybe I'll listen to an audiobook. And if I can't do that, I'll say, okay, maybe then I'll just watch a documentary of something that I'm really interested in. Maybe I'll watch the Food Network and watch something where I can learn and make get inspiration from for the things that I want to me And I'm like, okay, fine, if I don't want to do that, maybe I'll flick through a cookbook and I'll plan my meals for next week. And so like, I have all these little things that I know I want to do, and I'll try and stop them into Plan ABC. Ord also decide in the morning how you will spend your evening, start prepping your mind for the evening schedule activities like exercise, reading, even a mindful reset, and start telling your brain that this is what we're going to be doing in the evening. Next up, it's creating friction for distractions. We make our distractions so readily available to us. They look juicy and tempting constantly. So really we're just setting ourselves up for failure. And I know you can relate to the feeling of sitting down with a book. You're so excited to sit down with this book. You start reading a couple of lines, and then your phone lights up next to you, and you're like, okay, fine, I'll just check it.

Plan A or at least Plan B, and you'll feel like you'll have got at least a little bit more done than you normally would have. So for me, it's like, Okay, I want to read ten pages of this book, but if I feel too sleepy to read and I'm falling asleep, I'll say, okay, maybe I'll just read five pages. And if I really can't do that, I'll say, okay, maybe I'll listen to an audiobook. And if I can't do that, I'll say, okay, maybe then I'll just watch a documentary of something that I'm really interested in. Maybe I'll watch the Food Network and watch something where I can learn and make get inspiration from for the things that I want to me And I'm like, okay, fine, if I don't want to do that, maybe I'll flick through a cookbook and I'll plan my meals for next week. And so like, I have all these little things that I know I want to do, and I'll try and stop them into Plan ABC. Ord also decide in the morning how you will spend your evening, start prepping your mind for the evening schedule activities like exercise, reading, even a mindful reset, and start telling your brain that this is what we're going to be doing in the evening. Next up, it's creating friction for distractions. We make our distractions so readily available to us. They look juicy and tempting constantly. So really we're just setting ourselves up for failure. And I know you can relate to the feeling of sitting down with a book. You're so excited to sit down with this book. You start reading a couple of lines, and then your phone lights up next to you, and you're like, okay, fine, I'll just check it.

It might be important.

It might be important.

Next thing you know, it's been an hour and you've only made it to chapter one, line two, but you've scrolled through one hundred reels. So ideally, leave all your distractions in another room. Create an area in also on your flat, or in a little space, a little pillow where you know when you're sitting on it, you will not be touching your phone. We have that in our meditation era. We really try to not take any devices into there. Sometimes I fail, but.

Next thing you know, it's been an hour and you've only made it to chapter one, line two, but you've scrolled through one hundred reels. So ideally, leave all your distractions in another room. Create an area in also on your flat, or in a little space, a little pillow where you know when you're sitting on it, you will not be touching your phone. We have that in our meditation era. We really try to not take any devices into there. Sometimes I fail, but.

The idea is there.

The idea is there.

Let's not take any devices into our meditation area, and therefore we create a sacred space where we know we're just connecting to our meditation practice there. And it can be the same for the things that you want to do in the evening, whether it's writing something you just have the pen and the paper there, or whether it's reading something and you just have your book there. So ideally put your phone in another room, or at least on do not disturb so you don't constantly have those notifications popping up and trying to distruct you. I also read about something called identity based habits, and it says that we're more likely to stick to our new habits if they align with how we see ourselves. So instead of saying I should read instead of scrolling, say I'm the kind of person who likes to read in the evenings. It's almost like creating this personality that you want to become, rather than saying that you should or shouldn't do something. It's like, yeah, I'm the kind of person who reads every day. I'm the kind of person who plans had dreams in the evening. And so you almost like start to identify with this new narrative that you want to create next up.

Let's not take any devices into our meditation area, and therefore we create a sacred space where we know we're just connecting to our meditation practice there. And it can be the same for the things that you want to do in the evening, whether it's writing something you just have the pen and the paper there, or whether it's reading something and you just have your book there. So ideally put your phone in another room, or at least on do not disturb so you don't constantly have those notifications popping up and trying to distruct you. I also read about something called identity based habits, and it says that we're more likely to stick to our new habits if they align with how we see ourselves. So instead of saying I should read instead of scrolling, say I'm the kind of person who likes to read in the evenings. It's almost like creating this personality that you want to become, rather than saying that you should or shouldn't do something. It's like, yeah, I'm the kind of person who reads every day. I'm the kind of person who plans had dreams in the evening. And so you almost like start to identify with this new narrative that you want to create next up.

If all fails, bargain with yourself.

If all fails, bargain with yourself.

Okay, we all love a good negotiation, and tell yourself you'll do twenty minutes of the thing that you want to do, and then you can wedge out and do absolutely nothing. Usually when I tell myself that, I'll actually end up getting into it and spending way longer than I said. So I'll be like, Okay, you only have to read five pages, So I'll read the five pages, then I'll read another five, then I read another vibe. It really doesn't have to be your whole evening that you're spending doing these things that are life changing. You can decide that you only want to spend half an hour or an hour that you dedicate to these things, and then the rest of the time is free for you to do whatever else you want, including watching TV. Habit stacking one of my favorite ones. Okay, so I've gotten into this habit. Every single day I'm like, I want to walk more, and sometimes I don't want to walk at night my body is physically tired. I usually have my workout in the morning, but then I also know I want to try and get ten thousand steps in. So what I've started doing is I have to work a lot on my laptop when I'm writing or writing for episodes like this, and so I've started doing a minimum of sixty minutes every single day after I eat lunch. I've got a treadmill and I've got a little working desk that you can put on top of the treadmill. I can put my laptop and I can actually write while I work, and I absolutely love it. Sixty minutes tends into ninety sometimes it turns into two hours that I'm walking and working. And let me tell you, I get so much creative juice flowing just by walking. And I think there's something too doing an activity or while you're also trying to think, because I think it removes distractions because you're already doing two things at once. But also, I truly believe in physical movements stimulating mental movement, and so when you're physically moving, it's also like you get endorphins, your adrenaliness pumping, and more oxygen is flowing in your body, and actually it makes it so much so it makes me so much more productive. So habit stacking is essentially adding something new with something that you already do. So you're anchoring new habits to existing ones, which makes it easier to essentially add into your routine. You don't feel like you're having to take out extra time to do it. So, for example, if you want to listen to a podcast, you might do it while you're washing dishes, fifteen minutes of it. If you like to walk and you're already on the treadmill and you want to read a book, maybe you have your iPad up on your treadmill while you're reading, I mean while you're walking. I really find that's helpful because you're already doing something anyway, and so you're just adding it into the time period that you would usually do that. One thing, like given in the morning, I'll brush my teeth, but at the same time, I'll step on my Mama Matt. If I thought about doing that rundom me throughout the day, it probably wouldn't happen. But I'm brushing my teeth, and when I'm brushing my teeth, I'm standing on my Mama Matt, and so two things get done at once, which also makes you feel really efficient. The next thing I've gotten really into is intentional entertainment and what I mean by that is what I was saying before choosing entertainment with intention, which also prevents you from feeling guilty from watching and also kind of stops you from overwatching, because eventually you get tired of watching things like documentaries or things that are actually educational because you have to use your brain for it. And so instead of default scrolling, you could pick one meaningful show, a movie, or online class to watch. Also setting a timer to limit your consumption. It is called consumption for a reason. It consumes you. And so whether it's Netflix, whether it is any kind of online platform, is made to keep you hooked, to keep you watching.

Okay, we all love a good negotiation, and tell yourself you'll do twenty minutes of the thing that you want to do, and then you can wedge out and do absolutely nothing. Usually when I tell myself that, I'll actually end up getting into it and spending way longer than I said. So I'll be like, Okay, you only have to read five pages, So I'll read the five pages, then I'll read another five, then I read another vibe. It really doesn't have to be your whole evening that you're spending doing these things that are life changing. You can decide that you only want to spend half an hour or an hour that you dedicate to these things, and then the rest of the time is free for you to do whatever else you want, including watching TV. Habit stacking one of my favorite ones. Okay, so I've gotten into this habit. Every single day I'm like, I want to walk more, and sometimes I don't want to walk at night my body is physically tired. I usually have my workout in the morning, but then I also know I want to try and get ten thousand steps in. So what I've started doing is I have to work a lot on my laptop when I'm writing or writing for episodes like this, and so I've started doing a minimum of sixty minutes every single day after I eat lunch. I've got a treadmill and I've got a little working desk that you can put on top of the treadmill. I can put my laptop and I can actually write while I work, and I absolutely love it. Sixty minutes tends into ninety sometimes it turns into two hours that I'm walking and working. And let me tell you, I get so much creative juice flowing just by walking. And I think there's something too doing an activity or while you're also trying to think, because I think it removes distractions because you're already doing two things at once. But also, I truly believe in physical movements stimulating mental movement, and so when you're physically moving, it's also like you get endorphins, your adrenaliness pumping, and more oxygen is flowing in your body, and actually it makes it so much so it makes me so much more productive. So habit stacking is essentially adding something new with something that you already do. So you're anchoring new habits to existing ones, which makes it easier to essentially add into your routine. You don't feel like you're having to take out extra time to do it. So, for example, if you want to listen to a podcast, you might do it while you're washing dishes, fifteen minutes of it. If you like to walk and you're already on the treadmill and you want to read a book, maybe you have your iPad up on your treadmill while you're reading, I mean while you're walking. I really find that's helpful because you're already doing something anyway, and so you're just adding it into the time period that you would usually do that. One thing, like given in the morning, I'll brush my teeth, but at the same time, I'll step on my Mama Matt. If I thought about doing that rundom me throughout the day, it probably wouldn't happen. But I'm brushing my teeth, and when I'm brushing my teeth, I'm standing on my Mama Matt, and so two things get done at once, which also makes you feel really efficient. The next thing I've gotten really into is intentional entertainment and what I mean by that is what I was saying before choosing entertainment with intention, which also prevents you from feeling guilty from watching and also kind of stops you from overwatching, because eventually you get tired of watching things like documentaries or things that are actually educational because you have to use your brain for it. And so instead of default scrolling, you could pick one meaningful show, a movie, or online class to watch. Also setting a timer to limit your consumption. It is called consumption for a reason. It consumes you. And so whether it's Netflix, whether it is any kind of online platform, is made to keep you hooked, to keep you watching.

Oh do you like this show? You might like this one, this one, and this one.

Oh do you like this show? You might like this one, this one, and this one.

It is called consumption for a reason because it consumes you. Set a timer because, let me tell you, one show will turn into five. It's not called binge watching for no reason. You will sit there and you will end up binging, and hours and hours will pass. And so make a choice to just say, hey, I'm watching this for an hour, and that is it. No matter whether I get through an episode or not, an hour is my limits, and then switch to another activity afterwards. Another thing I absolutely love that has helped me accountable for my reading in the evening is accountability Partners.

It is called consumption for a reason because it consumes you. Set a timer because, let me tell you, one show will turn into five. It's not called binge watching for no reason. You will sit there and you will end up binging, and hours and hours will pass. And so make a choice to just say, hey, I'm watching this for an hour, and that is it. No matter whether I get through an episode or not, an hour is my limits, and then switch to another activity afterwards. Another thing I absolutely love that has helped me accountable for my reading in the evening is accountability Partners.

I now have a WhatsApp group.

I now have a WhatsApp group.

It's kind of like a book club, but really we just share accountability by sending tics or checkmarks every single day that we read. And then people will be like, oh, I'm really struggling right now. I didn't make it through. I'm still catching up, and so you kind of get to see you get people. You feel like you're not the only one struggling. Number one and number two. It also helps when people are sending in their tics, You're like, Okay, I really have to do my reading today, so I also think I need to remind you guys of something. Our mood and our actions can be separated. And OK, here's the deal. Our brains are wired for comfort.

It's kind of like a book club, but really we just share accountability by sending tics or checkmarks every single day that we read. And then people will be like, oh, I'm really struggling right now. I didn't make it through. I'm still catching up, and so you kind of get to see you get people. You feel like you're not the only one struggling. Number one and number two. It also helps when people are sending in their tics, You're like, Okay, I really have to do my reading today, so I also think I need to remind you guys of something. Our mood and our actions can be separated. And OK, here's the deal. Our brains are wired for comfort.

We know this.

We know this.

When you're in a bad mood, your brain says, hey, let's just skip that workout.

When you're in a bad mood, your brain says, hey, let's just skip that workout.

You don't need it.

You don't need it.

You worked out yesterday, you do not need to move your body today. Instead, why don't we watch the next episode of You. It's out and it's going to be a wild one. It will feels so much better than that. But here's the catch. When you're waiting to feel motivated before you act. It is an absolute trap. Your mind is trapping you. Your mind is trying to keep you comfortable instead of pushing you, because even if something is good for you, if it is out of your comfort zone, you are going to feel like it is not good for you, and your mind is going to try and keep you as comfortable as you possibly can, even if it's not a good comfort. So most of the time, action has to come first and then good mood follows. So you have to do the thing and your brain will catch up later. And when you take these small positive actions, even if you're not feeling like it, it is creating these new patterns, these new pathways that your brain didn't realize could exist, and not only didn't know can exist that you can actually feel good from doing, and so you cannot wait till you feel something before you do it. That is an absolute myth. We can get so used to saying, oh, I'm feeling like this, or I should just do this tomorrow, but that just becomes a narrative that we keep telling ourselves to constantly give way to emotions and postpone important things to tomorrow. Tomorrow becomes the next day. And the next, and then it just doesn't happen. And so create the pathways that you want to. And at first, yes, it will be difficult to push past the comfort feeling that your mind is telling you you need putting yourself into discomfort, But as soon as you've taken that one step or done something differently, once you've already created that pathway, and then it becomes easier and easier to walk on it. It's almost like a path where no one's walked. Eventually someone else, someone's footsteps goes there, and then you're like, oh, someone's been there, maybe I could do it too. And then more people start going, more people start going, and eventually the dirt road becomes a full pathway because enough people have stepped on it. And so that's exactly what you're doing for yourself. You're actually, yes, the first time will be difficult going through the forest and all the leaves and all the mud on the floor, But the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth time, just making it an easier pathway for you.

You worked out yesterday, you do not need to move your body today. Instead, why don't we watch the next episode of You. It's out and it's going to be a wild one. It will feels so much better than that. But here's the catch. When you're waiting to feel motivated before you act. It is an absolute trap. Your mind is trapping you. Your mind is trying to keep you comfortable instead of pushing you, because even if something is good for you, if it is out of your comfort zone, you are going to feel like it is not good for you, and your mind is going to try and keep you as comfortable as you possibly can, even if it's not a good comfort. So most of the time, action has to come first and then good mood follows. So you have to do the thing and your brain will catch up later. And when you take these small positive actions, even if you're not feeling like it, it is creating these new patterns, these new pathways that your brain didn't realize could exist, and not only didn't know can exist that you can actually feel good from doing, and so you cannot wait till you feel something before you do it. That is an absolute myth. We can get so used to saying, oh, I'm feeling like this, or I should just do this tomorrow, but that just becomes a narrative that we keep telling ourselves to constantly give way to emotions and postpone important things to tomorrow. Tomorrow becomes the next day. And the next, and then it just doesn't happen. And so create the pathways that you want to. And at first, yes, it will be difficult to push past the comfort feeling that your mind is telling you you need putting yourself into discomfort, But as soon as you've taken that one step or done something differently, once you've already created that pathway, and then it becomes easier and easier to walk on it. It's almost like a path where no one's walked. Eventually someone else, someone's footsteps goes there, and then you're like, oh, someone's been there, maybe I could do it too. And then more people start going, more people start going, and eventually the dirt road becomes a full pathway because enough people have stepped on it. And so that's exactly what you're doing for yourself. You're actually, yes, the first time will be difficult going through the forest and all the leaves and all the mud on the floor, But the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth time, just making it an easier pathway for you.

To keep following.

To keep following.

And you know what, sometimes I put things online people like you just need to relax. Can't some parts of life just be unintentional?

And you know what, sometimes I put things online people like you just need to relax. Can't some parts of life just be unintentional?

And free.

And free.

Yeah, of course it can be, but it really just depends on how deeply you want to be or do what you're saying you want to be or do. So it's not wrong to have unintentional moments, but if your deep intention is to reach your goal or to start something or to finish something, then actually every single moment of intention does matter. So yes, you can have unintentional moments, but the more unintentional moments you have, the slower it will take for you to reach your goal, and the less likely it will take for you to reach your goal. The more steps that you take towards something, the closer you're going to get to it. The more time you spend taking those steps, the further you will go each time. So really and truly, it just depends how much do I want to do the thing and how fast do I want it to happen, And that should really help you to decide how many evenings you want to spend watching TV, how many hours a night you want to spend doing the thing you want to do, And it really does just put things into perspective. Sometimes you also just have to learn how to disrupt the pattern. You have to change your regular routine. So if you're used to finishing work and going to the sofa, mix it up again. This is to do with patterns. Go to another room straight away instead, do not go into the room where your TV is the space to go to where you've already got your setup ready. And so it creates this new routine and you already have a separate space where you're not used to going and doing that activity you don't want to do. You says to break the pattern of what your in habit of doing. Look, at the end of the day, these are all the little tips and tricks that you can do to try and help you break out of your routine. Whether it's habit stacking, whether it's creating new environments, whether it is getting out of your comfort zone or planning and setting yourself up for success. And I've told you all of it in theory, but this really is a proof in the putting situation.

Yeah, of course it can be, but it really just depends on how deeply you want to be or do what you're saying you want to be or do. So it's not wrong to have unintentional moments, but if your deep intention is to reach your goal or to start something or to finish something, then actually every single moment of intention does matter. So yes, you can have unintentional moments, but the more unintentional moments you have, the slower it will take for you to reach your goal, and the less likely it will take for you to reach your goal. The more steps that you take towards something, the closer you're going to get to it. The more time you spend taking those steps, the further you will go each time. So really and truly, it just depends how much do I want to do the thing and how fast do I want it to happen, And that should really help you to decide how many evenings you want to spend watching TV, how many hours a night you want to spend doing the thing you want to do, And it really does just put things into perspective. Sometimes you also just have to learn how to disrupt the pattern. You have to change your regular routine. So if you're used to finishing work and going to the sofa, mix it up again. This is to do with patterns. Go to another room straight away instead, do not go into the room where your TV is the space to go to where you've already got your setup ready. And so it creates this new routine and you already have a separate space where you're not used to going and doing that activity you don't want to do. You says to break the pattern of what your in habit of doing. Look, at the end of the day, these are all the little tips and tricks that you can do to try and help you break out of your routine. Whether it's habit stacking, whether it's creating new environments, whether it is getting out of your comfort zone or planning and setting yourself up for success. And I've told you all of it in theory, but this really is a proof in the putting situation.

There's only so much that I can tell.

There's only so much that I can tell.

You and that you know theoretically before you just tried and experience it for yourself. And so I've given you the theory and I've given you my experience of it, but you have to just give it a go. Yourself, and I guarantee you you will not regret it. There's no part of me that says, oh, I wish I hadn't read this book, or I wish I hadn't spent my night reading this and learning something.

You and that you know theoretically before you just tried and experience it for yourself. And so I've given you the theory and I've given you my experience of it, but you have to just give it a go. Yourself, and I guarantee you you will not regret it. There's no part of me that says, oh, I wish I hadn't read this book, or I wish I hadn't spent my night reading this and learning something.

Oh my gosh, I'm just so much smarter.

Oh my gosh, I'm just so much smarter.

How awful, Oh, oh my gosh, this has given me a new perspective to life.

How awful, Oh, oh my gosh, this has given me a new perspective to life.

How awful.

How awful.

But I have binge watched some Love Island and thought, oh, why the flip did I do that? So either you can learn from my experience or you can create your own. But I guarantee you will not regret not wasting your evenings. Hope you have a wonderful day. Hope you have a wonderful evening wherever you are listening from. Thank you so much and let me know if this helped you, and if you do end up breaking free of your usual evening pattern. I would love to hear your stories and can't wait to see what you will decide to achieve with all your extra days that you will have and extra hours in the evening.

But I have binge watched some Love Island and thought, oh, why the flip did I do that? So either you can learn from my experience or you can create your own. But I guarantee you will not regret not wasting your evenings. Hope you have a wonderful day. Hope you have a wonderful evening wherever you are listening from. Thank you so much and let me know if this helped you, and if you do end up breaking free of your usual evening pattern. I would love to hear your stories and can't wait to see what you will decide to achieve with all your extra days that you will have and extra hours in the evening.