Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back together with the words you write, all the beauty and peace and the magic that you'll start too fun when you write your story. You got the words and said, don't you think it's down.

Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back together with the words you write, all the beauty and peace and the magic that you'll start too fun when you write your story. You got the words and said, don't you think it's down.

To let them out and write them down on cold It's all about.

To let them out and write them down on cold It's all about.

And write your story. Write, write your story.

And write your story. Write, write your story.

Hi, and welcome back to the Write Your Story Podcast. I'm Ali Fallon. I'm your host, and on today's episode, I have something that I want to share with you that I think is really pertinent to the current time that we're living in. I had a few other episode ideas that I wanted to record, and I still will record those episodes. But this morning, I was in my yoga practice, which, as many of you know, I've been in practice six days a week because I'm doing this yoga teacher training, and so many insights have come through and ideas and just wisdom has come through as I'm doing yoga, which is exactly my experience with yoga over the course of the past decade plus. Anyway, so I'm in my yoga practice this morning and this this idea comes through and it was just like a download, like zip zip zip, zip zip and all of a sudden, the list of other things that I had known I wanted to talk about on the podcast, various episodes I wanted to record. It was like this one just went straight to the top of the list and had this feeling of urgency around it, like this needs to be said right now, if not for you, then for me, but hopefully you can get something out of it too. So I want to share with you this insight that came through for me in yoga and talk about that for a minute, about what it felt like in the yoga practice as I had this epiphany, and then also take it outside of the yoga room and talk about what this means for us as we move through our daily lives. Okay, so here's how the epiphany came through in my yoga practice. I have been practicing six days a week because this is part of the requirements for this teacher training program that I'm doing. I've been practicing yoga since twenty fifteen, but I really fell off the bandwagon in about twenty twenty when I got pregnant with my daughter, and then when the world shut down, you know, I kept practicing for the first trimester ish and then in March when the world shut down. I even continued practicing kind of in my living room even though we couldn't go to yoga studios anymore where I was in California, I continued to you know, move my practice forward, or like at least date had a daily practice in my living room. And that lasted for maybe a couple of weeks, I don't really remember how long, but kind of slowly it fell apart, and I realized that I was missing the community, the group practice, and so I just fell off the wagon of yoga practice.

Hi, and welcome back to the Write Your Story Podcast. I'm Ali Fallon. I'm your host, and on today's episode, I have something that I want to share with you that I think is really pertinent to the current time that we're living in. I had a few other episode ideas that I wanted to record, and I still will record those episodes. But this morning, I was in my yoga practice, which, as many of you know, I've been in practice six days a week because I'm doing this yoga teacher training, and so many insights have come through and ideas and just wisdom has come through as I'm doing yoga, which is exactly my experience with yoga over the course of the past decade plus. Anyway, so I'm in my yoga practice this morning and this this idea comes through and it was just like a download, like zip zip zip, zip zip and all of a sudden, the list of other things that I had known I wanted to talk about on the podcast, various episodes I wanted to record. It was like this one just went straight to the top of the list and had this feeling of urgency around it, like this needs to be said right now, if not for you, then for me, but hopefully you can get something out of it too. So I want to share with you this insight that came through for me in yoga and talk about that for a minute, about what it felt like in the yoga practice as I had this epiphany, and then also take it outside of the yoga room and talk about what this means for us as we move through our daily lives. Okay, so here's how the epiphany came through in my yoga practice. I have been practicing six days a week because this is part of the requirements for this teacher training program that I'm doing. I've been practicing yoga since twenty fifteen, but I really fell off the bandwagon in about twenty twenty when I got pregnant with my daughter, and then when the world shut down, you know, I kept practicing for the first trimester ish and then in March when the world shut down. I even continued practicing kind of in my living room even though we couldn't go to yoga studios anymore where I was in California, I continued to you know, move my practice forward, or like at least date had a daily practice in my living room. And that lasted for maybe a couple of weeks, I don't really remember how long, but kind of slowly it fell apart, and I realized that I was missing the community, the group practice, and so I just fell off the wagon of yoga practice.

I was doing other things.

I was doing other things.

I was you know, walking or hiking really like light hiking at that point in my pregnancy, and I did keep trying to move my body, but I fell off the train of yoga practice. And then you know, I had one baby and another baby, and I won't belabor the story, but essentially I just fell out of the practice of working out altogether. I would still really try to get outside. I would think a lot about you know, sweating or getting my heart rate up, because that's just something that's been in my daily reportory or for a really long time. But for a long time I wasn't really doing anything that's strenuous. I definitely wasn't doing a yoga practice. I wasn't in the hot room. And so coming back to this yoga teacher training has felt a little bit like getting thrown into the deep end. And I recorded a whole episode about being a beginner because I really felt like when I came back to the yoga studio, I really felt like a beginner all over again. It was like flashbacks to twenty fifteen when I had never been in a yoga class in my life and I stepped in the studio and I remember the teachers saying, you know, your whole goal in this class is just to stay in the room. That's your whole goal is just stay in the room. Because it's heated to depending on your class, it's heated to like ninety eight degrees up to somewhere like one hundred and four hundred and five. So even just sitting in the room can be a meditation for people and can get your heart rate up and can make you feel a little claustrophobic at times. And so I came back to the practice this year got thrown into the deep end. I'm taking six classes a week as part of this yoga teacher training, and I have felt my body respond really quickly. I was telling my husband how the poses come back almost like riding a bike. Like I'm like, oh yeah, my body knows what to do here. Being in the hot room does not come back like that. I mean it has over the course of the last six weeks or so. It has come back to me and I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, I remember this. We're doing this. But I've had several moments in hot classes, especially the hot twenty six classes, which are the ones that are heated up over one hundred degrees, where I'll have a moment in the class where i start to feel dizzy or lightheaded, and I'll lay down on my mat, which is what you're instructed to do, and I'll kind of lay there and be like the thoughts in my head start running. I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is I have to get out of here, you know, I can't breathe.

I was you know, walking or hiking really like light hiking at that point in my pregnancy, and I did keep trying to move my body, but I fell off the train of yoga practice. And then you know, I had one baby and another baby, and I won't belabor the story, but essentially I just fell out of the practice of working out altogether. I would still really try to get outside. I would think a lot about you know, sweating or getting my heart rate up, because that's just something that's been in my daily reportory or for a really long time. But for a long time I wasn't really doing anything that's strenuous. I definitely wasn't doing a yoga practice. I wasn't in the hot room. And so coming back to this yoga teacher training has felt a little bit like getting thrown into the deep end. And I recorded a whole episode about being a beginner because I really felt like when I came back to the yoga studio, I really felt like a beginner all over again. It was like flashbacks to twenty fifteen when I had never been in a yoga class in my life and I stepped in the studio and I remember the teachers saying, you know, your whole goal in this class is just to stay in the room. That's your whole goal is just stay in the room. Because it's heated to depending on your class, it's heated to like ninety eight degrees up to somewhere like one hundred and four hundred and five. So even just sitting in the room can be a meditation for people and can get your heart rate up and can make you feel a little claustrophobic at times. And so I came back to the practice this year got thrown into the deep end. I'm taking six classes a week as part of this yoga teacher training, and I have felt my body respond really quickly. I was telling my husband how the poses come back almost like riding a bike. Like I'm like, oh yeah, my body knows what to do here. Being in the hot room does not come back like that. I mean it has over the course of the last six weeks or so. It has come back to me and I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, I remember this. We're doing this. But I've had several moments in hot classes, especially the hot twenty six classes, which are the ones that are heated up over one hundred degrees, where I'll have a moment in the class where i start to feel dizzy or lightheaded, and I'll lay down on my mat, which is what you're instructed to do, and I'll kind of lay there and be like the thoughts in my head start running. I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is I have to get out of here, you know, I can't breathe.

I have to get out.

I have to get out.

I have to get some air, and I can focus on slowing my breathing down and slowing my heart rate and calming myself and almost like cooling myself from the inside out by just being like, you're safe.

I have to get some air, and I can focus on slowing my breathing down and slowing my heart rate and calming myself and almost like cooling myself from the inside out by just being like, you're safe.

It's okay.

It's okay.

You know your heart rate's coming down even as we speak, and can control my breathing in that way, and I'm able to stay in the room. Had these moments. The whole point of telling this backstory is to say that I've had these moments in class that feel like physically it's too much for me. It's like pushing me beyond my limits. And I'm either like in a posture or sometimes I'm even laying on the ground and it's just a matter of being in the hot room where on the one hand, on the one side of things, I'm saying to myself, this is too difficult. I cannot do this. And then what happened for me in my practice today is there was this other voice that came through that is whatever you want to call it. It comes through for me in yoga practice, which is one of the reasons why I love yoga practice. But it also can come through in prayer or meditation or reading a book or journaling or anything else. Walking in nature. This voice that comes through, and I'm sure you've had this experience where you just have an intuition or an insight or a wisdom You're like, that's whatever you want to call it like, that's either God, that's my true self, it's my higher self. Whatever you want to name that thing. It's the Holy Spirit, whatever you want.

You know your heart rate's coming down even as we speak, and can control my breathing in that way, and I'm able to stay in the room. Had these moments. The whole point of telling this backstory is to say that I've had these moments in class that feel like physically it's too much for me. It's like pushing me beyond my limits. And I'm either like in a posture or sometimes I'm even laying on the ground and it's just a matter of being in the hot room where on the one hand, on the one side of things, I'm saying to myself, this is too difficult. I cannot do this. And then what happened for me in my practice today is there was this other voice that came through that is whatever you want to call it. It comes through for me in yoga practice, which is one of the reasons why I love yoga practice. But it also can come through in prayer or meditation or reading a book or journaling or anything else. Walking in nature. This voice that comes through, and I'm sure you've had this experience where you just have an intuition or an insight or a wisdom You're like, that's whatever you want to call it like, that's either God, that's my true self, it's my higher self. Whatever you want to name that thing. It's the Holy Spirit, whatever you want.

To call it.

To call it.

This thing that comes through that feels like it's higher than me. It's higher than my small self. It's higher than the part of me that says this is too hard, I can't do this. And the insight that came through for me today and my practice was this, It was don't miss what the difficulty is here to give you. And in fact, a couple of weeks ago, we did a weekend part of the training. The teacher training includes these long weekends where you go for eight to ten hours on a Saturday and a Sunday, back to back, and you're doing multiple things. You're sitting in class.

This thing that comes through that feels like it's higher than me. It's higher than my small self. It's higher than the part of me that says this is too hard, I can't do this. And the insight that came through for me today and my practice was this, It was don't miss what the difficulty is here to give you. And in fact, a couple of weeks ago, we did a weekend part of the training. The teacher training includes these long weekends where you go for eight to ten hours on a Saturday and a Sunday, back to back, and you're doing multiple things. You're sitting in class.

Learning about the anatomy or learning about the history of yoga.

Learning about the anatomy or learning about the history of yoga.

You're practicing the sequences and the scripts for the sequences that you need to know as a teacher. You're doing yoga practice with other people who are in the program. And this particular weekend we did two really long hard classes on a Saturday and then one hard class on a Sunday. I was telling Matts, I was walking out of the door on Saturday morning, He's like, are you excited? Are you so excited for your training? And I'm like, I am, and also I'm terrified. I literally felt like a deer in headlights. I was like, I know, we have to do this double today. We have to do, you know, a long warmer class in the middle of the day, and then in the evening we're going to do an even longer hot class in the really hot room.

You're practicing the sequences and the scripts for the sequences that you need to know as a teacher. You're doing yoga practice with other people who are in the program. And this particular weekend we did two really long hard classes on a Saturday and then one hard class on a Sunday. I was telling Matts, I was walking out of the door on Saturday morning, He's like, are you excited? Are you so excited for your training? And I'm like, I am, and also I'm terrified. I literally felt like a deer in headlights. I was like, I know, we have to do this double today. We have to do, you know, a long warmer class in the middle of the day, and then in the evening we're going to do an even longer hot class in the really hot room.

And I was like, the heat is.

And I was like, the heat is.

What has been getting me, and so I'm nervous about what my body is going to do when I'm in that really hot room. And sure enough, you know, we do the long hard class in the afternoon, and I felt like I fared okay with that. It was still really difficult, but I fared okay. And then in the evening we do this super long it's a ninety minute hot class in one hundred and four degree room. And because there are so many of us in the teacher training, there were like thirty plus people in the room, and so the more bodies that are in the room, the hotter it.

What has been getting me, and so I'm nervous about what my body is going to do when I'm in that really hot room. And sure enough, you know, we do the long hard class in the afternoon, and I felt like I fared okay with that. It was still really difficult, but I fared okay. And then in the evening we do this super long it's a ninety minute hot class in one hundred and four degree room. And because there are so many of us in the teacher training, there were like thirty plus people in the room, and so the more bodies that are in the room, the hotter it.

Gets in the room.

Gets in the room.

So it was just even extra hot in the room, and there was a point in that class where I laid down on my mat and this is maybe kind of like the peak experience that I've had in my teacher training so far, where I laid down on my mat and I I felt a part of me go like, get out of here, get out of this room immediately, like you're unsafe. It was like this voice in my head that was like, you're unsafe. Your heart rates too high, this is not good for you. And then there was this other part of me that broke through that was like, you can do this. Do not miss what the difficulty is here to teach you, don't miss what it's here to show you. And sure enough I stayed in the room. I was fine, my heart rate was fine. I left that room that night and felt like a massive, massive relief. I've been going through a season of really deep grief. I lost my dad last fall, I lost a baby last fall. I have been in the depths of grief and yoga across the board, but particularly that class has given me these opportunities to almost move the energy through my body, like move the grief through my body in a way that doesn't always feel comfortable, but that after the fact.

So it was just even extra hot in the room, and there was a point in that class where I laid down on my mat and this is maybe kind of like the peak experience that I've had in my teacher training so far, where I laid down on my mat and I I felt a part of me go like, get out of here, get out of this room immediately, like you're unsafe. It was like this voice in my head that was like, you're unsafe. Your heart rates too high, this is not good for you. And then there was this other part of me that broke through that was like, you can do this. Do not miss what the difficulty is here to teach you, don't miss what it's here to show you. And sure enough I stayed in the room. I was fine, my heart rate was fine. I left that room that night and felt like a massive, massive relief. I've been going through a season of really deep grief. I lost my dad last fall, I lost a baby last fall. I have been in the depths of grief and yoga across the board, but particularly that class has given me these opportunities to almost move the energy through my body, like move the grief through my body in a way that doesn't always feel comfortable, but that after the fact.

Is like, oh, like sweet relief.

Is like, oh, like sweet relief.

It's like a tension that was there in my body before has left, and I could almost just sob like. The release sometimes comes through tears, it sometimes comes through sweat, it sometimes comes through like a feeling of shaking or letting go, But the feeling afterwards is just like, oh, sweet release, liberation, freedom. I feel like I let go of something that was so heavy that I've been holding on to for a really long time, and now it feels like it's gone and I feel more confident. I feel like, look, I did that. I'm so proud of myself. I stayed in the room even when it was really hard. And I want to delineate something here because I'll share a few different examples of how this can move outside of the yoga room. And I want to make sure that I'm really clear on the fact that I don't mean to stay in a situation that actually is unsafe for you. And I think it can be difficult to decipher between these two things, like which is my real self talking or my true self which is my ego self talking, which is my fear self talking, and which is the higher self talking which is me talking, and which is God talking. What's holy Spirit and what's not. I think it can be hard to kind of pull those things apart. And so, you know, when you're in a situation where something's happening and you feel like, I can't do this, this is too hard, I couldn't possibly move through this. There is nothing wrong with taking a break or backing off or you know, checking to see, like if I were to get up and let's say, leave the heated room in that moment, I don't think that there would be anything inherently wrong with that. But I had this higher, deeper, stronger sense, this other part of me that was also present with me at the time, that was like, yes, you can do this, Yes you are safe, stay with yourself, breathe, you can slow down your heart rate. And sure enough, when I was able to stay with myself, I was able to slow down my heart rate and I was perfectly safe the whole time. And I think a lot of times we miss out on our greatest potential, our greatest possibility, and even like healing that wants to be handed to us, or even receiving gifts that want to be given to us, because we are unwilling to move through something we've told ourselves. It's too challenging for us, it's too difficult, we can't possibly do it. And actually I had the physical experience of receiving in that moment I am strong enough to do this. I am I can do this, And I can't explain to you the shift in confidence that that has given me. And I think that experience a couple of weeks ago on that big weekend class where I did that thing that I thought I couldn't do, and then, you know, even one of the instructors afterwards told all of us she said, I think that was one of the top five most difficult classes I've ever been to. And I've been through hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of teacher trainings. So like, good on you that you guys did that. You stuck it out, you stayed in the room, you did what you need to do, you did your work, you know, and now you get to receive all the benefits of that. So hearing that from her was also really validating. It's like, yeah, that was really challenging, it was really difficult. I did the very best that I could do. I stayed in the room, and I'm so proud of myself and I feel a sense of groundedness and sturdiness and confidence now that I can do anything, and that has carried with me, and I think that's part of where this wisdom that came through today and my practice was coming from that I'm in a pose, my whole body's shaking, I'm sweating everywhere.

It's like a tension that was there in my body before has left, and I could almost just sob like. The release sometimes comes through tears, it sometimes comes through sweat, it sometimes comes through like a feeling of shaking or letting go, But the feeling afterwards is just like, oh, sweet release, liberation, freedom. I feel like I let go of something that was so heavy that I've been holding on to for a really long time, and now it feels like it's gone and I feel more confident. I feel like, look, I did that. I'm so proud of myself. I stayed in the room even when it was really hard. And I want to delineate something here because I'll share a few different examples of how this can move outside of the yoga room. And I want to make sure that I'm really clear on the fact that I don't mean to stay in a situation that actually is unsafe for you. And I think it can be difficult to decipher between these two things, like which is my real self talking or my true self which is my ego self talking, which is my fear self talking, and which is the higher self talking which is me talking, and which is God talking. What's holy Spirit and what's not. I think it can be hard to kind of pull those things apart. And so, you know, when you're in a situation where something's happening and you feel like, I can't do this, this is too hard, I couldn't possibly move through this. There is nothing wrong with taking a break or backing off or you know, checking to see, like if I were to get up and let's say, leave the heated room in that moment, I don't think that there would be anything inherently wrong with that. But I had this higher, deeper, stronger sense, this other part of me that was also present with me at the time, that was like, yes, you can do this, Yes you are safe, stay with yourself, breathe, you can slow down your heart rate. And sure enough, when I was able to stay with myself, I was able to slow down my heart rate and I was perfectly safe the whole time. And I think a lot of times we miss out on our greatest potential, our greatest possibility, and even like healing that wants to be handed to us, or even receiving gifts that want to be given to us, because we are unwilling to move through something we've told ourselves. It's too challenging for us, it's too difficult, we can't possibly do it. And actually I had the physical experience of receiving in that moment I am strong enough to do this. I am I can do this, And I can't explain to you the shift in confidence that that has given me. And I think that experience a couple of weeks ago on that big weekend class where I did that thing that I thought I couldn't do, and then, you know, even one of the instructors afterwards told all of us she said, I think that was one of the top five most difficult classes I've ever been to. And I've been through hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of teacher trainings. So like, good on you that you guys did that. You stuck it out, you stayed in the room, you did what you need to do, you did your work, you know, and now you get to receive all the benefits of that. So hearing that from her was also really validating. It's like, yeah, that was really challenging, it was really difficult. I did the very best that I could do. I stayed in the room, and I'm so proud of myself and I feel a sense of groundedness and sturdiness and confidence now that I can do anything, and that has carried with me, and I think that's part of where this wisdom that came through today and my practice was coming from that I'm in a pose, my whole body's shaking, I'm sweating everywhere.

I'm feeling like, oh, this is so hard.

I'm feeling like, oh, this is so hard.

You know, I can't do this, And then this higher wisdom comes through and says, don't miss, don't miss what this difficulty is wanting to give you. That feeling afterwards where you walk out of the room and you have confidence and you feel sturdy and you know you're strong. And also the release, the feeling of freedom, the liberation that comes on the other side of doing the actual work of just doing it, of staying in the room is so powerful that I almost was just in tears this morning thinking about this. It's like this concept of don't miss the gift that this difficulty wants to give you. And immediately when my practice was over, I was thinking about how the supplies outside of the yoga room and in my life. I immediately started thinking about the last five years of difficulty that I've been in which I have talked about at length on this podcast, and I will not get into it in this episode. Feel free if you're new here to go back and catch up and listen to old episodes. Last season, in particular, I unpacked the whole story from start to finish, and maybe belabored the point a little bit too much, but it's a good example of how I have been in resistance and in struggle with this whole unfolding experience. And it all happened exactly as it was meant to happen, and I don't hold any give it over my head, you know, I'm not holding myself like I don't have any regret or guilts necessarily about how it all unfolded.

You know, I can't do this, And then this higher wisdom comes through and says, don't miss, don't miss what this difficulty is wanting to give you. That feeling afterwards where you walk out of the room and you have confidence and you feel sturdy and you know you're strong. And also the release, the feeling of freedom, the liberation that comes on the other side of doing the actual work of just doing it, of staying in the room is so powerful that I almost was just in tears this morning thinking about this. It's like this concept of don't miss the gift that this difficulty wants to give you. And immediately when my practice was over, I was thinking about how the supplies outside of the yoga room and in my life. I immediately started thinking about the last five years of difficulty that I've been in which I have talked about at length on this podcast, and I will not get into it in this episode. Feel free if you're new here to go back and catch up and listen to old episodes. Last season, in particular, I unpacked the whole story from start to finish, and maybe belabored the point a little bit too much, but it's a good example of how I have been in resistance and in struggle with this whole unfolding experience. And it all happened exactly as it was meant to happen, and I don't hold any give it over my head, you know, I'm not holding myself like I don't have any regret or guilts necessarily about how it all unfolded.

But it's I.

But it's I.

Can see differently now than I could see back then. I see the story differently than I was able to see it back then.

Can see differently now than I could see back then. I see the story differently than I was able to see it back then.

And this is a.

And this is a.

Telltale marker that you are the hero of the story and you're experiencing your transformation. Is when you begin to see the story differently. And now that I look back over the course of the last five years, I'm beginning to see, Wow, I didn't want to receive or wasn't capable maybe of fully receiving the gifts that my difficulties wanted to give me over the last five years, and so instead I was in headstrong resistance with the difficulties as they arose. Difficulties would come up and I would think, Oh, this can't be happening, this is so dumb, this is unfair, this shouldn't be this way. And those phrases that I just used, I think are signs that you're in resistance with the difficulty that is in front of you. And those feelings are also legitimate and they're fair, and they were feelings that I was having at the time, and I give myself permission for that. And also now as I'm moving through this season, I'm able to see it from a higher place. I'm able to see it from a different vantage point. And again, this is the telltale mark of moving through your story and becoming the hero and transforming along that narrative arc, is that from this place, I'm able to see things a little bit differently, and I look back now and go, oh, I or almost like she doing this. And the third person is really helpful when you think about yourself as the hero of the story, because you are the narrator now you're the transformed hero, and so you're not that same person you were back then. So I can almost look back and go. She that girl back there was in such resistance to the difficulty that was in front of her. She could not fully receive it. She could not stay in the room. She didn't have it then to do that, to say to herself, I'm going to stay in the room no matter what. I'm going to stay in the room. She just didn't have it to give. And that's okay. But now I look back and go if she could fully receive the difficulty, maybe the difficulty has something it wants to show her. Maybe it has something it wants to tell her. Maybe the difficulty has something it wants to give you. Maybe it wants to give you a sweet release. Maybe it wants to give you freedom. Maybe it wants to give you peace. Oh, maybe it wants to give you relief. Oh wouldn't that be so wonderful if the difficulty wanted to give you relief? And what would it look like for you to surrender to the difficulty, to allow the difficulty to be there? Because this is the absurdity of this, as you really think about it, that the difficulty is not going anywhere, at least in my set of circumstances.

Telltale marker that you are the hero of the story and you're experiencing your transformation. Is when you begin to see the story differently. And now that I look back over the course of the last five years, I'm beginning to see, Wow, I didn't want to receive or wasn't capable maybe of fully receiving the gifts that my difficulties wanted to give me over the last five years, and so instead I was in headstrong resistance with the difficulties as they arose. Difficulties would come up and I would think, Oh, this can't be happening, this is so dumb, this is unfair, this shouldn't be this way. And those phrases that I just used, I think are signs that you're in resistance with the difficulty that is in front of you. And those feelings are also legitimate and they're fair, and they were feelings that I was having at the time, and I give myself permission for that. And also now as I'm moving through this season, I'm able to see it from a higher place. I'm able to see it from a different vantage point. And again, this is the telltale mark of moving through your story and becoming the hero and transforming along that narrative arc, is that from this place, I'm able to see things a little bit differently, and I look back now and go, oh, I or almost like she doing this. And the third person is really helpful when you think about yourself as the hero of the story, because you are the narrator now you're the transformed hero, and so you're not that same person you were back then. So I can almost look back and go. She that girl back there was in such resistance to the difficulty that was in front of her. She could not fully receive it. She could not stay in the room. She didn't have it then to do that, to say to herself, I'm going to stay in the room no matter what. I'm going to stay in the room. She just didn't have it to give. And that's okay. But now I look back and go if she could fully receive the difficulty, maybe the difficulty has something it wants to show her. Maybe it has something it wants to tell her. Maybe the difficulty has something it wants to give you. Maybe it wants to give you a sweet release. Maybe it wants to give you freedom. Maybe it wants to give you peace. Oh, maybe it wants to give you relief. Oh wouldn't that be so wonderful if the difficulty wanted to give you relief? And what would it look like for you to surrender to the difficulty, to allow the difficulty to be there? Because this is the absurdity of this, as you really think about it, that the difficulty is not going anywhere, at least in my set of circumstances.

My resistance to.

My resistance to.

The difficulty never made the difficulty go away. It put me outside of reality at times, like I was in such resistance to the challenges I was facing that I had to almost pretend that it wasn't real. I had to like disconnect and to try to pretend like, this isn't happening this way, This couldn't possibly be happening. This couldn't happen to us, It couldn't happen to me. And I think, you know, as much as that numbed the pain from a momentary sense, it actually prolonged the pain from a larger sense, from a higher sense. And looking back now, I can see that if I could have surrendered to the pain earlier, if I could have surrendered to the difficulty earlier, maybe I would have had relief earlier. Maybe I would have had a breakthrough earlier. Maybe I could have received the gifts that my difficulty was trying to offer me. But I wasn't capable of doing that back then. That's okay, I give myself permission for that. I wasn't ready. I'm ready now I have a sturdiness now to fully receive whatever it is that this challenge wants to offer me. And another thing that came to mind as I was thinking about this concept is I went immediately back to ten years ago. Twenty fifteen was when I left my abusive marriage and filed for divorce and went through one of the darkest times of my life. This actually, ironically coincided with my introduction to yoga. I started going to yoga in September of twenty fifteen, and no surprise, no coincidence, also left my marriage in November of twenty fifteen and got divorced in twenty sixteen. So this is almost ten years ago now. But when I look back, I'm like, oh, there's no coincidence here that I started going to yoga class. I was a total beginner. I didn't know what I was doing. I gained the confidence, the sturdiness, the steadiness to receive my difficulty that was in front of me. And once I had the sturdiness to do that, I did it and I left. I did something that up until then I had not been capable to do. I literally didn't have it in me. I didn't have the skills. I didn't have the strength. I didn't have the confidence. I didn't have any of it. I didn't have the voice to leave. And as soon as I started to acquire those things, I was able to make the choice that I had known for a really long time that I needed to make. And So when I think back on that time, especially on the marriage that I lived through, knowing what I know now, if I could go back to twenty twelve when I got married, I would never have married this person. I would never have been interested in him. I would never have married him. I would never have stayed married beyond our wedding day, because things got infinitely worse after our wedding day. I would never have stayed married. I would have left immediately. There are so many things I can think of now that I would have done back then if I had known, But I just didn't know. I didn't have the skills. I didn't have the strength, I didn't have the tools, I didn't have the vision, I didn't have the wisdom. I wasn't mature enough, and so I stayed in that situation. And I would never recommend that anyone stay in a difficulty like that, especially if you're in a place where you're unsafe physically or emotionally unsafe, where you don't feel like you have a voice, or you don't feel like you're heard. And yet the wild thing to me, and don't misunderstand me here, but I just want to say, the wild thing to me is that now I look back and say that difficulty that I faced wanted to give me something. It wanted to give me gifts. And it wasn't until I became confident enough and strong enough to receive the gifts that the difficulty wanted to give me that I was able to take them in and leave the relationship. So I'm not saying, please don't mishear me. I'm not saying stay in a difficult situation to receive the difficulty. If you have the power to leave, then by all means leave the difficult situation. But there are also difficulties in front of many of us that we do not have the power to leave, or at least not immediately. And if you're in a difficult situation where you don't have the power to leave, I wonder if it might be helpful to think about this metaphor of staying in the room. Can you stay in the room with the difficulty long enough for it to give you the gifts that it wants to give you. All of us are in a period of time in history right now where there are a lot of difficulties in front of us. There if nothing else, if you want to just call it chaos, there's a lot of chaos unfolding in the world in front of us. And you know, if you've been around here for a while, you know I don't talk about politics much on this show. I've recorded maybe one episode where I shared a small little glimpse into my political ideologies.

The difficulty never made the difficulty go away. It put me outside of reality at times, like I was in such resistance to the challenges I was facing that I had to almost pretend that it wasn't real. I had to like disconnect and to try to pretend like, this isn't happening this way, This couldn't possibly be happening. This couldn't happen to us, It couldn't happen to me. And I think, you know, as much as that numbed the pain from a momentary sense, it actually prolonged the pain from a larger sense, from a higher sense. And looking back now, I can see that if I could have surrendered to the pain earlier, if I could have surrendered to the difficulty earlier, maybe I would have had relief earlier. Maybe I would have had a breakthrough earlier. Maybe I could have received the gifts that my difficulty was trying to offer me. But I wasn't capable of doing that back then. That's okay, I give myself permission for that. I wasn't ready. I'm ready now I have a sturdiness now to fully receive whatever it is that this challenge wants to offer me. And another thing that came to mind as I was thinking about this concept is I went immediately back to ten years ago. Twenty fifteen was when I left my abusive marriage and filed for divorce and went through one of the darkest times of my life. This actually, ironically coincided with my introduction to yoga. I started going to yoga in September of twenty fifteen, and no surprise, no coincidence, also left my marriage in November of twenty fifteen and got divorced in twenty sixteen. So this is almost ten years ago now. But when I look back, I'm like, oh, there's no coincidence here that I started going to yoga class. I was a total beginner. I didn't know what I was doing. I gained the confidence, the sturdiness, the steadiness to receive my difficulty that was in front of me. And once I had the sturdiness to do that, I did it and I left. I did something that up until then I had not been capable to do. I literally didn't have it in me. I didn't have the skills. I didn't have the strength. I didn't have the confidence. I didn't have any of it. I didn't have the voice to leave. And as soon as I started to acquire those things, I was able to make the choice that I had known for a really long time that I needed to make. And So when I think back on that time, especially on the marriage that I lived through, knowing what I know now, if I could go back to twenty twelve when I got married, I would never have married this person. I would never have been interested in him. I would never have married him. I would never have stayed married beyond our wedding day, because things got infinitely worse after our wedding day. I would never have stayed married. I would have left immediately. There are so many things I can think of now that I would have done back then if I had known, But I just didn't know. I didn't have the skills. I didn't have the strength, I didn't have the tools, I didn't have the vision, I didn't have the wisdom. I wasn't mature enough, and so I stayed in that situation. And I would never recommend that anyone stay in a difficulty like that, especially if you're in a place where you're unsafe physically or emotionally unsafe, where you don't feel like you have a voice, or you don't feel like you're heard. And yet the wild thing to me, and don't misunderstand me here, but I just want to say, the wild thing to me is that now I look back and say that difficulty that I faced wanted to give me something. It wanted to give me gifts. And it wasn't until I became confident enough and strong enough to receive the gifts that the difficulty wanted to give me that I was able to take them in and leave the relationship. So I'm not saying, please don't mishear me. I'm not saying stay in a difficult situation to receive the difficulty. If you have the power to leave, then by all means leave the difficult situation. But there are also difficulties in front of many of us that we do not have the power to leave, or at least not immediately. And if you're in a difficult situation where you don't have the power to leave, I wonder if it might be helpful to think about this metaphor of staying in the room. Can you stay in the room with the difficulty long enough for it to give you the gifts that it wants to give you. All of us are in a period of time in history right now where there are a lot of difficulties in front of us. There if nothing else, if you want to just call it chaos, there's a lot of chaos unfolding in the world in front of us. And you know, if you've been around here for a while, you know I don't talk about politics much on this show. I've recorded maybe one episode where I shared a small little glimpse into my political ideologies.

So this is not political.

So this is not political.

But no matter who you are, no matter where you live, no matter how you vote, no matter what part of the country you're in, or maybe you're out of the country, maybe you don't live in the US, is what I mean. Wherever you are, we are up against, especially those who live in the US, are up against some major difficulties. And I wonder what it would look like for us to flip the script on ourselves just a little bit and think about this period of time through the lens of what does this difficulty want to give us? What are the gifts that this difficulty wants to give us? And This can be inflammatory because I'm not saying that it's good that we're in this position. I'm not saying that I'm glad. I'm not saying yay, you know that the entire governmental system is falling apart or being like systematically dismantled.

But no matter who you are, no matter where you live, no matter how you vote, no matter what part of the country you're in, or maybe you're out of the country, maybe you don't live in the US, is what I mean. Wherever you are, we are up against, especially those who live in the US, are up against some major difficulties. And I wonder what it would look like for us to flip the script on ourselves just a little bit and think about this period of time through the lens of what does this difficulty want to give us? What are the gifts that this difficulty wants to give us? And This can be inflammatory because I'm not saying that it's good that we're in this position. I'm not saying that I'm glad. I'm not saying yay, you know that the entire governmental system is falling apart or being like systematically dismantled.

Rather, I'm not saying any of that.

Rather, I'm not saying any of that.

I'm saying, what would it look like to look at this period of time through the lens of I'm in the room. I don't have the power to leave the room right now, or if I do, if you do have the power to leave the room, then by all means, please leave the room. But if you are like me and you don't have the power to quote unquote leave the room right now, can you stay in the room and stay with your breath and see what this difficulty wants to offer you, See what this challenge wants to show you to receive the gifts that it wants to give you, to become the kind of person who can rise above this challenge. And Marian Williamson I was listening to what she shared on Instagram the other day. I really have been trying to stay off of Instagram because it's really unsettling and hard to take in and yet I've been kind of taking it in and SIPs and doses.

I'm saying, what would it look like to look at this period of time through the lens of I'm in the room. I don't have the power to leave the room right now, or if I do, if you do have the power to leave the room, then by all means, please leave the room. But if you are like me and you don't have the power to quote unquote leave the room right now, can you stay in the room and stay with your breath and see what this difficulty wants to offer you, See what this challenge wants to show you to receive the gifts that it wants to give you, to become the kind of person who can rise above this challenge. And Marian Williamson I was listening to what she shared on Instagram the other day. I really have been trying to stay off of Instagram because it's really unsettling and hard to take in and yet I've been kind of taking it in and SIPs and doses.

And I love what Marianne Williamson.

And I love what Marianne Williamson.

Said about it's not always about what's happening to you. It's the way she said it, It's about who you choose to be in the space of what's happening to you. And I've been asking myself, who do I choose to be in the space of what's.

Said about it's not always about what's happening to you. It's the way she said it, It's about who you choose to be in the space of what's happening to you. And I've been asking myself, who do I choose to be in the space of what's.

Happening to me?

Happening to me?

And I'm asking that on a personal level and on a collective level, because I'm going through some personal difficulties right now that I do not have the power to shift or change. I have put every ounce of effort, every resource, everything I know how to do behind changing and fixing this problem, and I do not have what it takes to fix it. And so all I can do right now is receive the problem. That's all I can do. I can receive the difficulty and receive the benefits that the difficulty wants to give me. Now, does the difficulty also give me pain?

And I'm asking that on a personal level and on a collective level, because I'm going through some personal difficulties right now that I do not have the power to shift or change. I have put every ounce of effort, every resource, everything I know how to do behind changing and fixing this problem, and I do not have what it takes to fix it. And so all I can do right now is receive the problem. That's all I can do. I can receive the difficulty and receive the benefits that the difficulty wants to give me. Now, does the difficulty also give me pain?

Yes?

Yes?

Does it also bring up fear, Yes, that fear is coming up to be resolved. Does it also bring me discomfort yes? Does it also make me sad? Yes, that sadness is coming up to be resolved, to literally leave my body, to give me freedom and liberation to come up and out. And if I wasn't facing these challenges, then there wouldn't be the opportunity for that thing to leave my body.

Does it also bring up fear, Yes, that fear is coming up to be resolved. Does it also bring me discomfort yes? Does it also make me sad? Yes, that sadness is coming up to be resolved, to literally leave my body, to give me freedom and liberation to come up and out. And if I wasn't facing these challenges, then there wouldn't be the opportunity for that thing to leave my body.

Imagine this.

Imagine this.

Imagine that sadness is living in your body. It's living there, it's already in there. And if you just move through your life unscathed, which nothing wrong with that, but if you just kind of bop through life, then there's no opportunity for those things to come out, you know, the traumas from our childhood, the trauma that's been passed down to us from generations prior to us. There's no opportunity for these things to come up and out unless they're triggered, unless we bump up against something that makes us kind of go oh yeah, oh, that's there, ooh, and then we move through it and then it leaves, and then we're liberated. So I want to offer this to you. This is what I'm doing in my personal life, and it's also what I'm doing is I think about the collective and the difficulty we're moving through as a collective, because there's kind of two ways that my ego self, for my small self or I don't know, false self, however you want to say it wants to deal with the political landscape as it stands. One way is to panic and to do all the things I'm seeing people on Instagram say to do, like quit, get your documents in order, and make a go bag and get your kids' passports, and those things are fine to do, and I may also do some of them. But there's one kind of energy of like panic, this is bad, you know, get ready for the world to completely fall apart. And then there's another energy that's like just ignore, just pretend like none of this is happening, and that's how we're going to survive. Just kind of shut yourself off, don't pay attention to anything, you know, just live in La la land, put your head in the clouds, just go to your yoga class, you know, just focus on your family. Which again, like on both sides of those things, there are hearts of that that you could pull out and go like that's actually probably a good thing, Like maybe make a go bag, maybe keep some food on hand, maybe get a generator, you know, and then also like yeah, maybe focus on your family. Maybe focus on your community. That might be a great thing to do during this time. And also there's a higher picture, there's a higher voice, there's a different way of seeing this that's from a broader perspective that says, there's something in this for us. This is an opportunity to rise to the occasion. This is a moment where you get to choose are you going to step into your higher self or are you going to stay small. It's a moment where you get to decide who what type of person do I want to be inside of this environment? What are my values? How am I going to show up for myself and for my neighbors and for my family. Am I going to align myself with evil and corruption and chaos and.

Imagine that sadness is living in your body. It's living there, it's already in there. And if you just move through your life unscathed, which nothing wrong with that, but if you just kind of bop through life, then there's no opportunity for those things to come out, you know, the traumas from our childhood, the trauma that's been passed down to us from generations prior to us. There's no opportunity for these things to come up and out unless they're triggered, unless we bump up against something that makes us kind of go oh yeah, oh, that's there, ooh, and then we move through it and then it leaves, and then we're liberated. So I want to offer this to you. This is what I'm doing in my personal life, and it's also what I'm doing is I think about the collective and the difficulty we're moving through as a collective, because there's kind of two ways that my ego self, for my small self or I don't know, false self, however you want to say it wants to deal with the political landscape as it stands. One way is to panic and to do all the things I'm seeing people on Instagram say to do, like quit, get your documents in order, and make a go bag and get your kids' passports, and those things are fine to do, and I may also do some of them. But there's one kind of energy of like panic, this is bad, you know, get ready for the world to completely fall apart. And then there's another energy that's like just ignore, just pretend like none of this is happening, and that's how we're going to survive. Just kind of shut yourself off, don't pay attention to anything, you know, just live in La la land, put your head in the clouds, just go to your yoga class, you know, just focus on your family. Which again, like on both sides of those things, there are hearts of that that you could pull out and go like that's actually probably a good thing, Like maybe make a go bag, maybe keep some food on hand, maybe get a generator, you know, and then also like yeah, maybe focus on your family. Maybe focus on your community. That might be a great thing to do during this time. And also there's a higher picture, there's a higher voice, there's a different way of seeing this that's from a broader perspective that says, there's something in this for us. This is an opportunity to rise to the occasion. This is a moment where you get to choose are you going to step into your higher self or are you going to stay small. It's a moment where you get to decide who what type of person do I want to be inside of this environment? What are my values? How am I going to show up for myself and for my neighbors and for my family. Am I going to align myself with evil and corruption and chaos and.

You know, calamity?

You know, calamity?

Or am I going to align myself with integrity? Am I going to align myself with kindness? Am I going to align myself with generosity? Am I going to be the kind of person who stays calm in the midst of a crisis? I had an old yoga teacher. This just came to my mind. I love this saying. One of my original teachers, who I learned so much from, used to say, be the kind of person who someone wants to call in a crisis. I don't know why that makes me feel emotional. I want to be the kind of person who other people want to call in a crisis. I think one of the reasons that makes me feel some feelings is I think about the people in my life who I know I can call in a crisis.

Or am I going to align myself with integrity? Am I going to align myself with kindness? Am I going to align myself with generosity? Am I going to be the kind of person who stays calm in the midst of a crisis? I had an old yoga teacher. This just came to my mind. I love this saying. One of my original teachers, who I learned so much from, used to say, be the kind of person who someone wants to call in a crisis. I don't know why that makes me feel emotional. I want to be the kind of person who other people want to call in a crisis. I think one of the reasons that makes me feel some feelings is I think about the people in my life who I know I can call in a crisis.

My dad was one of those people. My dad had a lot of flaws.

My dad was one of those people. My dad had a lot of flaws.

My dad and I disagreed about a lot of different things, and we were somewhat estranged for the last years of his life. But my dad was the type of person who you want to call in a crisis. He was the type of person who would stay calm no matter what. One of my dear friends, Betsy, is the type of person you want to call in a crisis. My friend Beth the type of person who you pick up the phone in the middle of the night when the world is falling apart, and you know that just hearing their voice on the other end of the line is going to make you feel better, more grounded, more secure. The type of person who just knows what to say, and you know what, every single person I know who moves like that through the world is someone who has the benefit of doing that. They have the strength. It didn't come from nowhere. It wasn't just like immediately given to them. People have the strength because they've faced hardship and they've received the difficulty. They've received the gifts that difficulty has to give them. Every single person I know who's the kind of person who you would call in a crisis has that quality because they have received the gifts that difficulty has to offer them. And I want to be that kind of person. I want to be the kind of person who can take it in and move it through, and who can keep my two feet on the ground when there's a crisis, and who can stay in alignment with my values even when the entire world around me feels like it's out of alignment with what I see to be true. I know it's not true that the whole world is, but sometimes it feels like that inside of the chaos. And so whether it's personal chaos that you're facing, or whether it's collective chaos and you're looking around at the US government and economy and whatever's happening, just wild stuff happening in the USA right now. So whether it's that or whether it's personal stuff. Whether your finances are a mess or your relationship's a mess, you don't know if you're going to stay or go or get divorced, or work on your marriage or go to therapy, like whatever it is that you're facing. Are you able to receive the difficulty and receive the gifts that the difficulty wants to offer you? Can you become the kind of person who someone would call in a crisis. Can you stay in the room. Can you stay in the room and focus on your breath. You have the power to slow down your heart rate if you focus on your breathing.

My dad and I disagreed about a lot of different things, and we were somewhat estranged for the last years of his life. But my dad was the type of person who you want to call in a crisis. He was the type of person who would stay calm no matter what. One of my dear friends, Betsy, is the type of person you want to call in a crisis. My friend Beth the type of person who you pick up the phone in the middle of the night when the world is falling apart, and you know that just hearing their voice on the other end of the line is going to make you feel better, more grounded, more secure. The type of person who just knows what to say, and you know what, every single person I know who moves like that through the world is someone who has the benefit of doing that. They have the strength. It didn't come from nowhere. It wasn't just like immediately given to them. People have the strength because they've faced hardship and they've received the difficulty. They've received the gifts that difficulty has to give them. Every single person I know who's the kind of person who you would call in a crisis has that quality because they have received the gifts that difficulty has to offer them. And I want to be that kind of person. I want to be the kind of person who can take it in and move it through, and who can keep my two feet on the ground when there's a crisis, and who can stay in alignment with my values even when the entire world around me feels like it's out of alignment with what I see to be true. I know it's not true that the whole world is, but sometimes it feels like that inside of the chaos. And so whether it's personal chaos that you're facing, or whether it's collective chaos and you're looking around at the US government and economy and whatever's happening, just wild stuff happening in the USA right now. So whether it's that or whether it's personal stuff. Whether your finances are a mess or your relationship's a mess, you don't know if you're going to stay or go or get divorced, or work on your marriage or go to therapy, like whatever it is that you're facing. Are you able to receive the difficulty and receive the gifts that the difficulty wants to offer you? Can you become the kind of person who someone would call in a crisis. Can you stay in the room. Can you stay in the room and focus on your breath. You have the power to slow down your heart rate if you focus on your breathing.

And if you.

And if you.

Focus only on the problem, you lose the power to slow your heart rate. If you focus only on the problem, you lose the ability to take in the gifts that the problem wants to offer you. Am I saying this is easy? No Am I saying I have it figured out.

Focus only on the problem, you lose the power to slow your heart rate. If you focus only on the problem, you lose the ability to take in the gifts that the problem wants to offer you. Am I saying this is easy? No Am I saying I have it figured out.

No?

No?

Am I saying that this is without discomfort? No Am I saying that there won't be moments where I still want to numb out or check out, or moments where I want to panic.

Am I saying that this is without discomfort? No Am I saying that there won't be moments where I still want to numb out or check out, or moments where I want to panic.

No.

No.

What I'm saying is I want to begin to look at the difficulties in my life through the lens of what's the gift that this difficulty wants to offer me. This is not cheap toxic positivity, It is not This takes real courage. This is not just rainbow washing and going like things are great. Actually, toxic positivity is the one side of that coin that I was telling you about where there's two sides. One wants to panic and the other one wants to pretend like everything's fine. That's toxic positivity, and toxic positivity is the other side of the panic coin. So they're the same energy just flipped around. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm not talking about just being like it's you know, life is horrible, but it's all good because it's giving me gifts. It's like, can we breathe in the gift of this time? Can you breathe in the gift of this difficulty. This is not for the faint of heart. It takes a tremendous amount of courage. I feel like I'm barely tasting it and think I owe it to yoga, my yoga practice. I'm so grateful to be back in this practice and whatever it is for you that gives you access to this vantage point. Please do not falter on these rituals and routines at this time. If it's meditation for you, if it's prayer, if it's journaling, if it's church, if it's you know, meeting with a mentor, if it's therapy, if it's pharmaceuticals, like if you are taking a anti anxiety or antidepressant, and that is giving you this groundedness, whatever it is for you, that's giving you access to the real you. The higher you, the stronger you, the more confident you. Whatever is giving you access to the God that runs the universe, or that like is the origin of all things. Whatever gives you that hold on to that during this time, because we're all gonna need it. I'm in this with you. I love you, I'm sending you so much love, and I will be back with you next week on the Write Your Story podcast

What I'm saying is I want to begin to look at the difficulties in my life through the lens of what's the gift that this difficulty wants to offer me. This is not cheap toxic positivity, It is not This takes real courage. This is not just rainbow washing and going like things are great. Actually, toxic positivity is the one side of that coin that I was telling you about where there's two sides. One wants to panic and the other one wants to pretend like everything's fine. That's toxic positivity, and toxic positivity is the other side of the panic coin. So they're the same energy just flipped around. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm not talking about just being like it's you know, life is horrible, but it's all good because it's giving me gifts. It's like, can we breathe in the gift of this time? Can you breathe in the gift of this difficulty. This is not for the faint of heart. It takes a tremendous amount of courage. I feel like I'm barely tasting it and think I owe it to yoga, my yoga practice. I'm so grateful to be back in this practice and whatever it is for you that gives you access to this vantage point. Please do not falter on these rituals and routines at this time. If it's meditation for you, if it's prayer, if it's journaling, if it's church, if it's you know, meeting with a mentor, if it's therapy, if it's pharmaceuticals, like if you are taking a anti anxiety or antidepressant, and that is giving you this groundedness, whatever it is for you, that's giving you access to the real you. The higher you, the stronger you, the more confident you. Whatever is giving you access to the God that runs the universe, or that like is the origin of all things. Whatever gives you that hold on to that during this time, because we're all gonna need it. I'm in this with you. I love you, I'm sending you so much love, and I will be back with you next week on the Write Your Story podcast