Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast Boom. Welcome to wind Down. Would you say full couch? What full couch? Full heart? How about those microphone guys you can't see but Chris Well, I mean you can No, you can't see Christens, which I would envision me and karaoke night sir. And that's pretty much is the how's your morning, Kristen full how's your morning? What's so full about it? I have a lot, so I don't think you have time for me. I've I've We've got five minutes before Josh Peck comes on and then I've got a lifetime more for you after that. Okay, great? Want to sum it up in five I can try. I have a six year old daughter who is a highly sensitive person like myself. So it's like existing in a really noisy world when all you want to do is put on headphones. And so we're just having a lot of shifts at our was my husband's traveling a lot again. He's coming back, but he's not home, but he's writing. So he is home, but he's home, but he's not present, Like you know, it's a lot again. He's in ban low cash, single can I say that, yeah, definitely. Ituned Speech Boys with Low Cash Christine really quick? Can I please just say I texted Janna when the song came out, that is the best song on the radio right now. I love it so much. I'm such a huge Beach Boys fan. I'm such a big Low Cash fan. When I heard their team it up, I was like, Oh my god, you gotta be kid. It's oh my god. My wife is she's going crazy because all day long, I'm just like I get around around gets Eastern. This song can change our lives. I need young handsome people like you saying this stuff with your hot wife. Do you want to meet the Beach Boys? How can we do this Nashville? Can you come next weekend? They're playing at the Opry. I'll get you and your wife in. It's just I'm telling Elsie, like their playing the Opry. We've never been before. I want to see the Beach Boys so bad. We gotta go Eastern kind of stay at my house and go to the freaking Opery with me. Oh my god. Okay, okay, all Rightston, this is a great day. I needed you to say that. It's it's a hit. That song is so good it's incredible. I'll received that in Jesus name Eastern. I love the fact that, like, see, if someone just says something to you, you can just change your day like that, you know, changed my day, and so did the eighties Mike. So wait, what's going on with love Bug? Then just a lot of shifts in her world that would be I think normal to a lot of kids, but like to her, it feels big, and so I honor how big everything feels. I'll probably get emotional. I'm on a roller coaster today, but it just was a lot, and so I was like, let's just take a minute. Like she said, her belly hurt, which is what I used to say, but no one listened to me when I said it. M M, that's the triggering did you do trauma? Timeline? So I said, okay, let's just figure out like does it hurt like you need to poop? Does it hurt like you need to throw up? Does it hurt like a feeling instead of like you know? And she said, I don't know, maybe I could poop. So we tried that out. We're just checking things off the list, you know, like working our way from number two to number one. I guess and I don't know. It's just like a it's hard. And my husband is he's better at understanding and wanting to learn her sometimes and he isn't wanting to learn me, though we are the same human innately, har and I and I don't project my stuff onto her like she's my fresh start. I mean, it's poetic that God gave us a birthday two days apart. You know, it's not lost on me. None of that's lost on me. She's like I get to watch her be a kid for as long as she can be a kid, and it's like the biggest gift could your inner child. In a sense, she is, but I separate us, but I just love her to be a kid. And I also just love that when I like her to be able to name feelings. I'm not trying to like make her a psychologist at age seven, but I'm like, yeah, maybe it feels like anxiety. You have a substitute teacher today, that feels weird. You love your teacher that has been not home. Now he's home now, yeah, yeah, Pop pop around their way from Indiana. Like there's just a lot happening, rapid fire, and when you're hsp it's like exposed nerve feeling. So all of it may be good things, but it still feels like a lot of input. And then on top of it, I gave birth to Will Ferrell and that's her little brother. So she's just like, what is happening and what are you doing with the emotion because obviously I'm feeling coming to you and spewing, and now you're got up and all got up there. It is. It's just hard to be around. Like. We had such a good night last night, the three of us. Yeah, that was fun. We drank a lot, we laughed a lot, We laughed a lot, laughed, we cried, we cried and we did. And I just I'm like, man, what a beautiful life this would be if we could all have that with each other. And I want her to have that with me, and I want her to have that with her dad. And I just want her to be able to say, like, I feel anxious and I don't even she doesn't have to know why. I don't need a reason. Sure, yeah, wow, there's that wind down and getty up. I'm a lot. Julia said something to me the other day. She looks sad, and I said, hey, baby, girl, What's what's wrong? Baby? Look you look sad? Or you okay? She's like I don't want to say and I was like, oh no, which I think is age appropriate, but I was like in an apartment, I was like trying to peel it out of her because I'm like, like, I need her to be happy and like and so now, looking back, I should have just been like, well, I'm here if you want to talk, and it's okay to be sad, but but at the time, I was just like, well, why are you sad? Like what can I be do? Like how do you feel like a failure? Because I felt like a failure. I felt like I did something wrong and she didn't want to tell me that I did something wrong or that she was I don't know, Like sometimes I feel like she'll with you know, my um, you know, her dad's stuff. It was, She'll she'll say, you know it's it's almost like she's trying to protect my feelings. That's what That's what I make up. Mm hmmm, I don't know. Yeah, I mean I think it's good. Though at least you're acknowledging that she's said. A lot of parents probably don't even acknowledge that. I know they don't like they're acknowledging it. Even if you're trying to find out. I think that that's still very recognized that you were trying. You can't, we can't do it perfectly all the time. Tell me more about that male t dox. Listen, listen, we're not smart. Do you remember a time when Jana said she was going to go on a twilight that I am not. I'm I'm not dating anybody. I am very single. I'm gonna have a hot girl summer single summer. But are you going on dates? Oh my goodness, Josh Peck is here. Look at that. He is here when you're ready, and no, I have not yet. So there you go to answer your question. What would be one week into the twelve? So you know that's good? Yeah, it's great, it's awesome, great, great, Thank you, very excited. It's been coming on two months. The nice little single gal here, Thank you, home run you're hitting uh huh, Well Josh Peck is here and we're going to take a break and they get him on the show. Thank you. I was reck of this morning, Josh, Hi say more about you being a wreck? Now you don't want to hear. We we know wasn't wasn't wasn't a fabulous we had a little I had a little girl's night last night, so kind of feeling the aftermath. No judgment. I'm glad you guys treated yourselves well. Thank you. Um, we're so happy to have you on Wine Down. Um My, I believe we're at the same publishing company. Uh, Sidney Rogers over at HarperCollins. Oh yeah, she said she's incredible, Like she's she's such an amazing editor and human and um, she was just like raving about you in your book, which I'm so excited about. Um, I can't wait to read it. But when did When did you did? Because it just came out right, Yeah, it came out about like March. But yeah, Sydney is great and it's it's been a wild ride, as I'm sure you're sort of familiar with. But I'm glad like that I'm in sort of the home stretch of it all. It's been great. I'm proud of it. I mean, it's just the fact that like the title alone is I love it is amazing, like happy people are annoying, like it just yes, so it's uh, yeah, I mean it's I feel like I didn't know the title for the book right away, and then once we came up with the title, sort of the book grew into it. You know. It became about this idea of I just think I thought most people walked around completely blissful, and if you did, it was because you were very attractive, or generationally wealthy, or like the quarterback for the football team. And so my whole sort of journey was about redefining what happiness meant for me. I love that, and I love too. I mean, you grew up. Your mom was a single mom, right, And question for you when did your when did you feel like you're like, okay, like I have to because you said that, I read something where you felt like you kind of had to be the man and provide for for your mom, right, I think right away, I make this joke in the book that growing up I would look at my friends with like a more traditional family system, and it was like the kids were sort of the employees and the parents were upper management. But my mom and I were a startup, you know, like we were a very specific dynamic. And you become kind of the co captain when you're the only child and a single mom, and I feel like I was quickly elevated into that role, which was both challenging and wonderful. Um, because I would walk around at like nine years old and people would talk to me like a kid, because of course that's what I was, And I would feel like I puffed my chest out and I don't even know who I am, like I'm the man in my house, like I'm a pretty big deal at home, but of course they didn't know. Yeah, is there something like, as a like I'm a single mom that you that, um, that I could do for my kids that they don't, that you felt the pressure to like have to. I don't know, and if you felt you had to manage your mom's emotions or any of those things, like is there anything that, like, any any tips you could give me as I raised my kids as a single mom. M. That's a great. Well, My my situation was specific, and I don't know exactly yours like mine. I didn't. I never met my dad and then he passed away before um, I could ever meet him, so he wasn't in my life at all. So my mom being this like fabulous tigress playing both parts, you know, Um, mother and father. To her credit, she knew that she could only do so much. So like at eight years old, she got me a big brother from the Big Brother Foundation, this guy Dan, who would take me out every other weekend on Sunday and we go. I mean, there's not a thing in New York and it's kid friendly that we didn't do, from Yankee games to bowling to you know, video games, you thing. And we have a very rare relationship because twenty eight years later were so incredibly close. He was the best man at my wedding. And so I think to my mom's credit, she knew that single moms can be like superheroes and yet their powers can only go so far. And she filled in the gaps where she knew she couldn't. And that was my brother. That was my shrink at fifteen. And I still go and see Tom shout out. We're on the first name basis. It's it's been a while and U uh yeah, and you know I think that so yeah, I think it's knowing the I guess it's knowing where where you can only do so much and helping to fill in the gaps. Um in that way. I love that where do you think you you lost yourself along the way with you know, obviously you've been very successful in your acting career and um, you know you've you've had a lot of accomplishments. And where do you where do you feel like was there a moment or do you remember like you started to kind of lose yourself and fall into the other patterns. You know, I'm not sure, right, because it's kind of like the duality of ego or the duality of that that dark side that probably most of us have, right, it can be an asset for a really long time. Like my character defects. My defense mechanisms made me funny, it me It gave me sort of this I don't know what you call it, but this sort of outgoing personality because I grew up really overweight, and I assumed that I walked into most situations at a disadvantage, that people made a snap judgment about you when they saw you were overweight. And and I never wanted I always say I never wanted to be you know, special, I just wanted to be the same. And so developing this ability to be funny and to sort of control the energy of a room that was born out of just wanting to be on the same plane field as everyone else. Of Course, over time, once I've got in shape and I sort of shed that image, a lot of that was so deeply embedded in me that it's it went from an asset to a defect. Right. It started to haunt me. It started to make me thoroughly uncomfortable. And when I found like drugs and alcohol, I was like, oh, this is so more efficacious than food and with so many less calories. And so I kind of went on that vision quest for four years. So yeah, it took me a while, but um, you know, at twenty one, I got sober and uh and and I've sort of been in a bit of a growth mindset ever since. How old are you now, Josh, thirty five? You look young? Thanks? Take that box? Yes, do that? Yes? Always, you look great. Though I don't think he really needed preventative. I got some of these. I got a little bit the crows, things like, no, you look great, but I'm just always like botox, pro botox do it. But yeah, you see how angry I am. You can't, Josh. It saves my marriage. Go get the bow time, you guys. The three of you look incredible. There's not a wrinkle in that room. Let's be honest, there's a lot of behind. Do you ever like have a like I'm afraid of a snap foot? Right? Like that, I get it and then like I've got to go get on set and I go to to a moat and they're like, how come you like so I So what I do is like, so I like just finished the movie. So I made sure I didn't do botox before, like like three months before. I was like all right, no, not getting it. But now I'm like, I'm starting to see my wrinkles against I'm like, it's it's time. And I'm also not working anything. So it's the afterod did happen to me? Though? Remember my eyebrow that when one was here and I was yeah, yeah, I mean they can fix it. You just look enlightened. Yeah, you're like we're actually concerned. From now you are fine, You're not getting like how do we get off? You know, my buddy, my buddy Joe from my podcast and my co host on my podcast, Male Models, he got a group on botox for his armpits. That helps you're not sweat, right, Yeah, I should probably do that. Maybe he was like This was so jan Kie. I was like, well, where did they do it? He's like he had me meet him at some like random and we work in a strip mall and he showed up with like a briefcase full of syringes. I was like, no, this is this is what look group on is great for a gym membership, a pizza, you know, okay, a free app right, not syringes. Josh, we need a doctor, bad guy. I know, Joe, shout out Joe. That's why he's good at podcasting. He's got good stories. Yeah, like a lot of lifetime issues. Perhaps it's fine. So how Josh, how long have you married? Now? Five? It will be five years June seven. Uh? And then you've got one kid? Right? Yeah? One kid? Oh? A little boy? Max? Okay, how old is Max? These three? I'm a three year old? Have a three year old? We need a support group. How you doing over there? I love it. It's so funny because today he had a total meltdown before school and it was it was sort of rare for him. But um, it's fascinating watching these kids. And I try to defer to my wife, who's got a very healthy sort of outlook on these things, and she's like, there's no puffing up on your kid. There's like, you're not gonna be that dad who's raising his voice and whatnot, because you get what you give, right, and he's gonna mirror you. And so when you see kids who like scream at their parents at dinner, you know, your local cheesecake factory, it's probably because the parents are screaming at them in private, and they probably used a group on while they were there. Let's be honest. I have not seen a group on for a cheese because you just kidding, I would be all over. I really think that's true, though, what you're saying, like it is about how you pour into them and what you get back. Like, emotionally intelligent humans come from emotionally intelligent humans. I don't know anybody that's become emotionally intelligent out of fear, right, Yeah, absolutely, I don't think. I think it puts you at a disadvantage. It puts you in a state where you're not able to really listen. And here and he's such you know, he's such a good boy. But you know, mornings like this you just kind of go, there's nothing wrong with him. This is impor me, it's part for the course, like it's a part of it. Yeah, I love like I feel like Jason's like three nager is a real thing. I went through it with Jolie. You know, everyone said the Terrible twos were amazing. Threes is like because it's just the fits that they throw. But then they're they're they're rebound is so cute, you know, like once the once it gets there. But I feel like Jace is slowly as he's nearing for each month gets a little less. Yeah. I always four was like literally like a light switch, like it was like three and then all of a sudden, each time each kid turned four, it was like, oh my gosh, like smooth sailing. Now every time do you have you have a few kids older than four? I have three kids ten and six. No way, You're like, I'm going to talk like three times. I'm just kidding. Actually is beautiful, she started, she started young, I did, yes, Um, okay, So do you want more kids? Yeah? Oh yeah, I definitely want one more. And then I always joked like if I if I'm gonna have three or four, I'm gonna need a sitcom in l A where I'm getting paid and then and also just so I could be home, you know what I mean, like, because it's it's I don't know how it is for you guys, but you know you quickly sort of when you have kids. I guess it depends on who you are where. I've had a few moments I'm like, did I pick the wrong profession? I can't. I hate being away. We're in that season at our house right now. My husband travels a ton. He's in um country music, and so he's just gone a lot, which is like the blessing, right because you want to be busy. But then he's he's like, I miss everything, like the first baseball game and you know, our son's name is Legend and he just swam the other day for the first time by himself, and he was like, I wish I was there, and I'm like, yeah, it's just it's it's hard, it is. And also it's you know, showing whenever I go off and do a film, I'm like, oh, I have all this guilt, right, so I'm away from my kids and yes they come with me, but still like the time that I don't spend with them. And also it's showing them work and that you know we are, you know, obviously providing and showing that you can do you can kind of do it all and but it is hard, for sure, and it is hard and and it's hard to do. Like I grew up by we lived in ten places before I was thirteen, you know, and switch schools and sort of bopped around from New York and Florida, and and so now I'm giving my kid as we all tend to do, like the antithesis of that, like I'm like security roots home, you know, regimented and uh. But then you know, I was working on the show for like eight months in Vancouver and granted he was too right and we were locked up there and because it was COVID and it was like the greatest adventure and he talks about it now and then it happens to remember that trampoline park in Vancouver, remember when we go to the beach, like he thinks of it so fondly. Now grantities in school now it would probably be harder to disrupt that. But I have to remember to like don't overdo it, Like don't you don't have to go so in the opposite direction of the way you grew up, because you turned out, Okay, did I know? You did? You did? It's always we're works in progress for sure. Yeah, it's a really good point, though you and I struggle with that. I felt like at the beginning, which part the regiments, like Janna and I bond over our love of control, and it's we're also growing out of it together. I feel like we're doing a great job. I feel like we're doing a great job too. I know you are, specifically me this morning, probably not thriving but trying. But it is interesting because it's like you do thrive to give them everything you didn't have, which in my case was kind of a lot, I'll be honest, a pretty tumultuous upbringing a lot of alcohol and drugs in the house. Just I had to be kind of older, faster, so I wasn't likely with the man in my house. But I also wasn't I was kind of like, can we get a man in this house? Because my dad's kind of like a monkey. I'm confused. Um. So it's interesting because then I go to like, okay, bathtime. It's we're not really scheduled, but rituals matter to us, like the calming down and the feeling safe and talking about our feelings. And my husband's like one of three boys and if he's like, if I hear one more feeling, I'll lose my mind. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a hard it's a hard balance because what made you cool, what made all of us cool, is our chanle Right, these trials, these things that we went through, and then if we sort of um, safety wrap of the world for our kids and or bubble wrap life right, then you know, then it goes the opposite direction and maybe they don't have some of that grit that that was a byproduct of the challenge that we faced a kids. Yeah, I agree with that as a husband. Is there something where you're like, I could do better at this? Is there is there an area just just like you're just the one, maybe the biggest one because you know it's gonna have to be a longer podcast. Um, let's see, well, let's see what my wife. Let me think about my wife gets annoyed by I think what a trend was, and I see that my mom does this, and I think I'm better at it. But it took me. You know, We've only been together ten years, so obviously I'm a quick learner. Um, my wife would voice an issue like something she was annoyed by, something she was upset that I did, and I'd go, yeah, well, look look what I do for us, Like it was always I'd always make it about me, and it was like, yeah, I know you're upset, but also like, look at all the plates I'm spinning, you know, like, look at all the things I'm doing for us, And it was like, idiot, just acknowledge how I'm feeling, you know, just allow me to have this moment and don't make it about you, and certainly don't compile a case of why I should be allowed this indiscretion because of how good I am to you, because I can go in both directions. So that's I think I've gotten better. You can ask her, but um that that took a while and I see, oh my god, I see you with my mom shout out mom. But I'll tell her, I mean throughout my whole life because again single mom. We moved to California where I was fourteen to work as an actor. So anytime she would something would hurt me that she do I bring it up. She'd be like, well, I gave up my life for you, so what are we talking, are we not? And I think I need to talk to your mom. I think I might have there probably yeah, yeah, okay, So then what's one thing that you do amazing? Also neither longer podcast for that, dude, Josh the probably I don't know. I'm really you know what I just put. I'm I'm good. You know, I know my role in this in this world, right, is that I feel very overpaid by you know, my wife, my kid, my mom, like my nuclear family, my in laws who are credible, like I have a lot of emotional support. And I see my friends who have to deal with tough in laws or just a tough partner, and how that weighs on them and how it can infuse itself into all facets of their lives. And you know, things aren't good at home, It's really hard for things to be good outside of home. So I'm so overpaid in that way. And my job, as I figured in this scenario, is to help support it financially, like and I'm good at that. I'm good at like putting my head down and working and if I can, you know, keep the lights on and make it so that nobody has to worry about like going and my wife's able to sort of focus in on our kid, and he as a byproduct, he's better for it. And so I'm sort of I'm glad that I can help support my mom and my family, and in return, I get so much support to do what I do. I love that. That's really beautiful. What do you do when you start to feel triggered and you know, the addiction piece starts to or does it? Does it? Does it come up? Or? And what do you do to help like stay centered and focused and kind of go back to to the you know where you're at today? Um, I mean, I'm in recovery. I've been in twelve steps since I was twenty one, and I go regularly and I utilize it in every facet of who I am. Like unfortunately it's become a bit of a taboo word recently, but like throughout my life, I was always looking for a vaccine from life, you know, Like I was always just looking to, you know, get a big enough part, make enough money, have enough women loved me to where finally I feel like I was at the finish line and I'd be all better. And I realized that nothing good in life can be sustained without practice. Last night, to me, I won't keep you fat. And so for me, it's like keeping up with that spiritual acts. You know, what recoveries works for me is is the twelve step thing. A lot of people find other ways to sort of aid in that. Um so, yeah, I've got a pretty good practice. You know. I go to meetings every week, and I talked to other sober guys, and I try to meditate, but no one's really meditating if we're being honest. So yeah, that that helps to combat those feelings. I don't ever consider a drink. What I consider it's like some bad behavior or like, you know, yelling at my you know, like if I'm if I'm angry and I yell at my kid, or you know, like or just like some bad behavior that I'll be a witness too that will quickly make me uncomfortable. And if I get uncomfortable, then I start thinking like what would calm me down? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah right, yeah, it doesn't really have in a reflection moment, I'm bad behavior and what would calm me down? Because I feel like we all have that is m in us, Like what calms us down from the breakup or from a you know, a divorce, or from the bad day at work, or it's like what is that thing? What's that is m that we go to versus what should be the thing we go to, you know, either talking to a friend, trying to meditate or you know, writing writing, or it's like choosing that over the thing that probably are working out. Then then something that's not good for us, like the bottle we had last night and that and then and I love you know, my wife has some margarita, you know, with friends like I love. I love when people can drink successfully and don't become like, you know, especially with guys like angry assholes like the guy I bet buddies who've gotten really angry and they're like, oh, I was drunk. I'm like, no, no, no no, you're angry, like just you being drunk. Let it come out in its in its full form. But you know, it's fascinating when people drink when they're going through something, especially if they're feeling sad or going through a depressing moment, because you're treating depression with a depressant and and so it's not you know, I think any wonder why you wake up the next morning and you feel even worse because it's like, well, what little good feeling chemicals were left in your brain you depleted with that? I mean, in my case, Pina Colada, I love a sugar drink. I wouldn't have pecked you. I like them all. I mean, I haven't had a drinking fourteen years, but if I did, I wonder there are new drinks like I remember when Heineken came out with a line and I was like, yeah, that's not worth You don't even know. I will agree though, with what you're saying. So I hadn't drink. I hadn't really drink anything in months until last night because I had gone through a lot of loss. Last year, I had five people passed away in my life, and one of them was my dad, so I and also grew up watching him treat depression with depression. I never saw my dad sober and I'm forty. So it was just like a lot and I've kind of just made I didn't make an official stance or rule. I didn't want any attention drawn to it. I just felt really anxious when I would drink, so the next morning I would wake up and I would just feel really worse off. So for the last few months. Honestly, almost the last year I have. I can count on hand how many drinks I've really had because I just needed to keep myself as healthy and even as I could to deal with what was really in front of me. But last night was so fun for me because it was like my safe, safe, safe people like I knew it was gonna They're just my It just it was great to have a glass of wine and I was like, Okay, this is good. Like I woke up this morning, I was just like I had the time my life with those girls last night. We would have a time of our life sober anyways, like we're doing with you. You know, it was just fun and it just took a deep breath. But I I really relate to you saying treating depression with depression because it's it's in my family a lot, and it's really sad and you can waste a lot of your life. My dad was sixty nine and I never really saw him ever joyful. M Well, I think there's a lot of ways to do that too, not just with alcohol. Yeah, Like for me, it's not necessarily alcohol, but I will just kind of hold up on my own in my room. But that's also depressing, not getting out of the house, not getting out of the room. And food. I mean, I think food can be a big part of it for me too, but I think there's a lot of different things that can do that same thing for sure. You know, when I got sober, um, I remember I would go to these meetings that all men meetings and uh and and they would say things like if you want self esteem, do asteamable, do asteamable acts. And I remember thinking, like, for my whole life, I hear these platitudes, these great bumper stickers like um, you know, um, seek your joy and you know, uh, just be um. I don't know. There was just all these like they seem like destination right, Like sure, it sounds great, but I have no idea how to get there. And then like I literally had guys who said to me like, no, no, do something good for someone and don't get caught. That's how you feel good. And I was like, but I don't know where to like make make things your problem. They're like next time you're at the grocery store and you see three or four cards in the parking lot that aren't where they're supposed to be return them because it's not your job. Like just try that to see how you do clean the coffee pot stack some chairs, Like I'm the kind of idiot that really needs some very rudimentary things. And then it was crazy the moment that I did it, how I felt to shift And so I can't think my way in the right acting like I need to disrupt whatever negative you know, thought patterns going on with what does my wife need? What does my kid need? And if I'm really on some spiritual Jedi ship, it's like what is a stranger need? Because then I'm really you know, setting myself up to probably feel good after I love that. I'm gonna go do that. The carts, I love that. So I'm the person that leaves the cart get in. I'm gonna go. I want to say, I'm not surprised there's two types of people in the world. I could never do that. Haven't you seen this? Doesn't this flits around all the time? Can I just have so when I'm by myself, m let's be honest here, when I'm when i'm co co co cokay um, like I'm about like I'll put it back. When I'm with the kids. I can't They're already in the car. Oh no, no, no, not kids. Can you put it in the corral? Well how can I? Well, you get him in the car. We're the same the car, Like, what's the corral? So I just picked the closest one where I can still mine are older now, but where I can keep my eye on the car, and then I put it in that. See that scares me to turn my back on the car because I'm saying, so, how am I gonna do? You literally the car and put the gold and corral. That's what I'm thinking. Already at the corral, Josh is like, I'm here. Don't worry. Josh is fixing it all for you if you do. Thanks Josh. Co co co co co co. Now, every time I got the grocery shore, I'm gonna be like, this is probably Dr Phil said something like that one time. I used to love Dr Phil. I felt like he was like the Southern dad I always wanted or something um But he said, if you wake up in the morning This applied to spouses at the time. But I kind of think of it like worldwide. When I'm on my Jedi Josh, I like to think of it like at a higher level. But he said, if you wake up in the morning, you think, how can I make my spouses day better? And they wake up in the morning and they say, how can I make my spouses day better? Like eventually you'll meet in the middle and like if everybody in the world woke up and I was like, hey, how could I like you know, like I stopped buying Starbucks for the people behind me, and I started tipping the Burris dust because I feel like those are the people that probably really need it, not the person that can afford the ten dollar coffee. It's the person that's you know, working in the I do too, but it's easy because the app Oh yeah, the cash carrying is intentional, right, But I'm with you. Yeah, it's a it's a it's a tough it's a tough balance. But I know it's funny, you see, Dr Phil, Because I was working on this TV show at Paramount Studios and there's just sick Badley park in front of a big stage. But I'm talking like sick to me, like totally blacked out, like looks like, uh, you know Jack Harlow should be driving this, okay, just blacked out perfect like dope on some some hip hop and uh and I was like, whose car is this and they go, it's Dr Bills. No way, that's not what I guess. Room to drive. I thought a big pickup or something, dr felt Mercedes. Ok he thought he was a badass Bentley like a batmobile. Like just hot? Was it hot? Yeah? Just like looked like it came from like Platinum Imports. Like yeah, like if he was going to spend dumb money, I would think you have like an old man Rolves Royce or something. But like this was this was cool, This was cool. Well man, Dr Phil take off that tie and he's a band of human when he's just film. Okay, So back to people being annoying happy? What what is the what are the things that you want people to get out of from reading your book? Oh? Man, you know I wanted I thought it would be a ridiculous thing to write a memoir at thirty five, So I was like, and also, the thing about memoirs is are usually written by people at the finish line, and thus I feel like they can be a little bit hard to identify with because they're so impressive. So I was like, well, I'm not that but what I can do is write about views from the halfway point, and like tell other people who are thirty five and younger, even though I think you can enjoy it if you're older, like, hey, I just walked through it, Like I just had an inflection point. I just grew up over the last few years and got married and had a kid. Here's some some perspective. Here's some things that helped me throughout a tumultuous team or twenties or early thirties time. Maybe that can help you, you know. I love when people who are on the same sort of paths me, but just a few steps ahead, give me good recon like good feedback, like hey, there's a pothole here, and there's a speed bump here, and if you keep your eye out you can probably avoid them. So that's what the book was. It was to help similar people like me on on the same path. I love that. That's kind of this couch for me. Yeah, I'm like game, there's a big pot, so of us choosed to hit hole anyways, Josh, but we're we're trying to go around it. But you can learn a lot in the pothole. Pot hold hard for nine years, really, but it's fine fine co and co. Yeah, um okay, Josh, what by the way, time out John John Stamos is he just like the coolest dude ever. Yeah, he's so handsome. He's supposed to the inside of a drawer, you know, like really like like man like would here and like tobacco, but he doesn't smoke. It's just like he's the best. He's very Greek, he's very handsome, and he's good people. And I can't believe that we're actual real friends because as you guys know, you never make friends and show biz like real friends, and especially if they're John Stamos. But somehow we've like we have a really nice relationship. John is a good friend when he chooses to be a friend, Like I've heard that. Yeah, he's the best, he really and he loves to be the he loves to be needed. Well, he's a Leo, so that matters. Love Leo's are you guys les? No, but my soulmate is a Leo. Apparently, Sagittarius is and Leo, which is why I'm naming my dog Leo because because you know, single as ever, so I'm like, I'm just gonna get a dog to fill my man, my man, soulmate, need for it? Are you not? I'm married? Did you see I told you? What are you? What are you? Leo? I'm married to Leo. I'm married to John Stamos. Hey, ironically, my husband just played with John Stamos at the Ryman. Oh really yeah, because John goes out with the beach boys. He's a drummer. I know he doesn't do it? Is it? Is it crazy to you though? Like I grew up with Uncle Jesse, right, So it's like I mean I grew up with him by watching. I mean it matters. He mattered to me. And now he's like he's just he's a drummer and he plays like he's good at all the things. Thanks. I don't know why. I feel like John is like a national treasure. It was like, m He's a total national treasure. And yet like the moment you hung out with him, and like I remember that. Within a few weeks I saw him looking at his phone and his text on the phone was really big amazing, like he found a crack in the armor. Yeah, liked this line for me and cover your left eye, John, I like it or yeah, whole like textually be like what do you think of his Instagram caption. I'll be like, you're fifty five. He'll be like that sound nice, Like is he really fifty five? Why does he look like he's preserved for sure? Come on, I mean he's I mean, I don't know. He probably does like expensive batials and whatnot. But at the end of the day, it's it's great, Hey, you're real friends with him, so find out for us because we all want to know. Yeah, he's fifty eight, that's crazy. It looks great. I'm gonna start telling people I'm fifty eight, and they're gonna start thinking, really good night, it's really smart. I'm going, yeah, it's great. You look great for thirty five, though honestly you don't look thirty five for sure. And so okay, so your bookstack, but I feel like Josh is like hanging out with that. I forget we're like a podcast because he's a homie. That dude, he's a homie. I love it. Um, well, everyone go get his book. Happy people are annoying? And then, um, where can our listeners? Obviously they all know you, but for those that you know are under a rock, where should they? Where can they find you? Um? You can find my podcasts and Male Models Podcast wherever podcasts are available, and I guess Instagram. I love it. Okay, great, Well, thank you for thank you for just being authentic and vulnerable and sharing your struggles. I know a lot of people can relate to it, and so I love the fact that you're in the spotlight and you're willing to be open and raw and share your experiences because you're helping a lot of people. So thank you for doing that. I really appreciate it. Thank you guys for having me. I love chatting with you. Thanks Josh, We're like Josh's angels. Good morning, Josh bag. Oh you're so sleet. Love good energy, Yes, good energy. I love the quote he said, he said, last night's meal won't keep you fed. I know, I was like, I need a minut. I'm going to re listen to this like a couple of times to write a few things down because he's get the book. He's so sweet and like of that people share that he's sharing. I love that. Thanks for sharing. Mm hm, is there a book called Thanks for Sharing? Probably I'm saying things, but I don't know. I don't know. Oh, I think it is a show. Yeah, and it was a it was a movie about addiction. I think. I don't know, I remember. I think I watched it, but that's how much I can remember. Any remember nothing, Catherine. Let's do a little check in with you. How's the heart? Hearts good? Yeah, heart's good. Yeah. You know, all in all doing well. Had moments, you know, moments with the kids and you know, our new normal, but all in all, I think we're all doing well. Is there something that you've seen a little bit of a like, oh, like this is not like great, but like this is I'm going to try. Yeah. I mean I think that there's definitely a sense of relief, um, and that I made the right decision and that we're doing the right thing. Um. That doesn't mean that steps of it are hard and pieces are hard. Um. But again, we're getting along really, really well, and I'm so thankful for that because I can't imagine you know, going through it fighting and especially I mean, the kids are so busy. So it's like we sat next to each other at the basketball game and like we talk, and you know, I think that in the end that's going to be really healthy for the kids. So, you know, I think relief is kind of a word that I keep really, you know, I keep using. I just think that there's definitely some relief, and I think that it's all going to be for the best, for sure, and that you feel that in your soul, which is like knowing that you made the right decision for you and for you know, for y'all. It's like that's got to feel really really good. Yeah, it does. It does, And you know, I'm sure along the way there's going to be hiccups and things are going to be hard, but all at all, Yeah, I think that it's I think when things are too easy, it's because there wasn't love there. Sure, So I think that any rocky road is because there was some sort of love there or is still some and then there's there's a lot of respect. Like we texted both of you separately. Why I texted you, but Preston I texted him separately, and I just was very like, I just felt like, I was like, holy, this is like a really mature thing, Like you both are just stand up good people. The way you responded about it and about each other, it's just really amazing. Yeah, I'm really really thankful for that. That was That was probably my my biggest prayer going into it, like I knew at the end of the day, we would do everything that was right for the kids, that the kids will be okay, He'll be okay, I'll be okay. But my biggest prayers that we could just get along well to do that much life together and still have so much spect for each other. It's huge, for sure, that's huge. Yeah. So and at the outpouring that I got from people, and I know we talked about that has just been amazing. I don't feel so alone anymore about being the guy in the relationship. There's a lot of people there's like I feel like I'm the dude. I feel like I'm the only one, you know, And so I was the dude in the last marriage. I was the dude. Yeah, that kind of surprises me. Really. Well, you just love talking about feelings and stuff, and that's like not talked about feelings. And I also was like, yeah, I think there's different Well, sure, I think there's different ways to be kind of I was like, I'm talking about my feelings. I'm getting really irritated with you, So can you do the dishes? White go to work because I'm exhausted yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So how how many years out are you from that divorce? Mhm eight eight years? Yeah, I always forget you've been divorced. Yeah, me too. But I picked my battles. I think differently in the second marriage. Sure it's good. Yeah, oh I like so much, doesn't okay whatever? Yeah right, But I also just have like I married someone completely opposite, so like a real provider, someone who's like dedicated. It was a really cool take to listen to how Josh talked about like how he's well paid. Um, I'm about to snip at that and send it on over in a text. Because Preston provides for us, like financially all the time, you know, and I just have not been used to that. So that's my own adjustment. Sure, I was the breadwinner in my marriage before. Yeah, that's going to be really hard for me. It's hard in the next relationship because it's I love supporting other people and I don't want to support and because everybody I've dated has not had a job or hardly had a job and took everything like I paid for everything. I yeah, you know, socially paid for everything, and so it's just you. Yeah, and it's like I don't, it would be nice, Like I still will probably not accept it well because it's it is hard. Yeah, like I I don't, that'll be very difficult and I'll never want like I don't want it. I just it would be nice to go. I can breathe a little bit. So I'm trying to step up a little there for us, like I'm gonna stay at home mom, but I'm trying to have enough side hustle that I feel like I'm contributing something. I think that just takes a lot of pressure off of the other. I do too, think it's it's hard for men and it's hard for women, and we don't no matter what side need it. But I need it sure, like I want to go like here. That was always why I worked. I mean I didn't work for one year, but I just and not that he ever put that on me, but it's like I want to feel like I yeah, like a teammate. Let's talk about that one year and when that happened, because that was when that was right before I got married. Catherine was my matron of honor, made of honor matron, and and she calls me and this is when I think love was just it was right before we was before we released I got the boy. Um love had just like fallen off, like literally that week. Love was the song. It was, Yeah, girl, it was really close because I was like my oldert life, everyone's leaving, my pants leaving. She calls me and she goes, so I'm going to leave the position. She was my day to day manager. And she's like, so, if you don't want me to be in your wedding anymore, I understand, And I was like what, I was so hurt. I started crying and I understand. It was just really talking side and I just remember being like in my mind, I was like that so we were just friends through work, Like to me, we were my Like that's why would you even say that to me? Like? That was so her? I was so upset. Fair, I totally understand that. Now. What you have to understand about that position and me is that's a defense mechanism for me because one of my biggest fears was getting close to someone I worked with and then never seeing them again, because I saw it happen too many times yourself before you can be rejected. Yeah. Oh, it was totally a defense mechanism because all I thought about it was like, oh my god, I'm gonna quit, and then she's not gonna be in the wedding and I'm gonna be so upset. And so it was just like this immediate like protect yourself, you know. So then I didn't even you know, know that you were upset about it, and then I found out and then we were like, okay, we still love each other, it's all in the wedding. Yeah, I was still the major one. Yeah, yeah, I feel like I missed the season finale. You know. We worked through it and we realized that we were both just like upset or whatever, and then she came back to work. You know. What's interesting though, I think looking back, I knew it was before I got pregnant with Ramsey. It was that I knew that I wanted another child, but we were also having issues then in our marriage, and so I think part of it was like maybe if I come home and I focus more and did da da da, you know. So it was all just trying to figure things out. And it didn't last very long. It was a year. Yeah you're yeah, you're gonna wouldn't yeah, because because I came back right like I mean I decided to come back before I had Ramsey, so then I took maternity leave and came back three months after. I'm sorry, here we are no God, please grow. That's water at the bridge. It was just funny, Like that story that's talk about that doesn't talk about the year you took off skirty skirt. Well, this is fun. Uh, don't forget you. Guys can see us on tour. Um. Why am I so pumped about fun? It was gonna be fun so um. Go to Janna kramer dot com slash tour to get your tickets to coming to Atlanta, UM, Chicago, Nashville. It's gonna be a really good time. Guaranteed one of us will hug you. I'm gonna tell you which one is not gonna hey, I'm working on it. It might be signing off go co co co cool, go go, I guess