Wind down with Janet Kramer and I heard radio podcast, so lots of men going on yeah, yeah, yeah, and uh, I don't I'm just gonna let you take the floor. Would you like to talk about anything or no? I mean you can ask me questions if you want to ask you questions. Okay, Well here's just me taking the floor is not going to be okay. Um, why am I getting emotion? Why is everyone? Oh? Man? No? I am, Well, do you want to talk about it or not? Yes? Because I don't want you to. I've always wanted this platform to be about helping other people. Um. And I think through shared experiences, through my experiences, through you know, Sarah Gretzky's experiences about her miscarriages, or um in letting people have a voice to come on here and again just share their experiences because I think sharing helps in heels but also helps other people. Sure, and so you are very UM. I think at first this coming on the podcast, you were hesitant but like not as open to share absolutely, which is you know that's I was like, girl, you don't have to do this if you don't want, Like, I'm not like, I know you're my bestem my O G. But like, I'm not like forcing you. And I understand that, you know, there is backlash with being open and having your life picked apart, and I see that firsthand. And but I also know from the other side of it, the people that have you know, stop me or stopped you or you know, and have related. And now people have been relating to your story. And you know, you've been open about getting married young and some of the challenges in your marriage. And oh, um, and I'm I'm really proud of you, but would you like to share Yes, you're so much better at this now. Um, so we are getting a divorce. Um, you know, it's one of those things we were. We have been married for fifteen years, um, which is long time, got married at twenty three. And UM, I'm very different than you. You know, I'm very um, non affectionate. I will own that. I'm you know, it's harder for me to be vulnerable. You know, there's a lot of things that as a woman are harder for me that are normally easier for women. I would say, um, so you know, long story short for us. Yes, we got married young, but there have been issues for years, you know. And um, the last you know, I'd say even five years. It's basically we just you know, we've become roommates, you know, and it's one of those things that we probably would have stayed roommates forever. I know he would have. Um, but through going to therapy, you know, I mean that was a big I decided I wanted to go back to therapy and make a decision and figure out what was best for not only me but him and the kids. I mean, I know that's not for me to say what's best for him, but what I felt like in the end would be better for everybody. So yeah, so I kinda I mean, we made a decision, you know, Um, and you know, we're just kind of walking through. It's very new. I just told the kids not too long ago that was tough. That was real tough. Um. But as crazy as it sounds, we've gotten along really, really, really well. And that's all I've prayed for, Like, I mean, I just wanted this to go smoothly. I want us to get along. I want us to be friends. I mean, we've got three kids that are crazy busy, you know, so we've gotten along really well. Um. He's been super emotional about it. I'll be honest, Um, and that's hard. And I've had my emotions too. I mean it's not that I haven't. I've definitely had my emotions around it, but I think that I've had more time to really sit with it because I've been trying to make a decision for a while now. And I told him that, h So yeah, so that's you know, kind of what we're walking now. Um, And you know, in the end, I feel like it's something that I did for all of us, but it's also really to protect my mental health and my happiness. And you know, it's sometimes hard to take what seems like a selfish step, you know, to take care of yourself, but I think that that's what needed to be done. So yeah, I mean that's basically well, I just wh when you were sharing that, I was just like, man, there's I'm there's so many women that can relate to that, I hope. So it feels like it feels very lonely to be that kind of woman, I'll be honest, it really does, because I mean I don't even really have any friends that are that way, you know. I Mean, it's just and so it's kind of it really is kind of a lonely feeling you feel like, you know, we always joked for so long. Nick's the girl in the relationship and I'm the guy because I'm just you know, I mean, and I am emotional. I definitely cry and I am emotional, but it's just harder for me to be vulnerable. And that's a lot of from growing up in situations growing up. But also I'm realizing, like, you know, I can get there. I just need to work on it and I need to work on myself and I'll get there. And you know, at the end of the day, no one's to blame. I think we both had issues in our marriage and things, but you know, I think in the end I will I can work through that and kind of get But yeah, I hope that helps people that feel that way, women especially, I know men feel that way a lot, but you know, and I've had a few people reach out to me, you know, that say that it's like, oh, you know, I feel that way too, and it's I feel like nobody else does. So I do hope that that kind of helps people, and you know, I'm happy to, you know, help that in any way. I hope that that that does help some people that feel that way, and yeah, and I know it well, and you'll, I know listeners that are relating to this right now will outpour to you. And then also and asked for your advice to and you because you can become that vessel of helping. It's not about it's not it's not guiding. You're just speaking from your experience. And that's kind of you know where I've always tried to go like this is just my experience, and and then that's you're doing the same thing and like you're helping people not feel alone. And I also think one of the thing too, that like something you always said to me that it's like you in a way I don't if I'm miss speaking, like please crush me, but like you almost carried shame, like he didn't do like he didn't cheat on me. He didn't. He's not like he didn't. And it's like I don't think people realize that you don't have like there doesn't have to be a real like it can just be going through. I mean that was the last I don't know how long I've been saying, Amy, but that's what I would tell her all the time. But he didn't do anything wrong. You know, it's like, so it's really hard and you know it's again it is a decision I will say that we've made together. I mean, obviously I don't want I want my kids to feel that, you know, to feel that way, but yeah, I mean it was one of those that's just like you didn't do anything wrong and I love you as a friend, but like it's time, you know, And that's tough that I battled with that for some time and he probably did too, you know. So yeah, I mean that's been a battle for a very very long time. Granted my you know, my parents were divorced and very similar situation. Um and you know, she they tried to stay together for the for us for so long, and that's one thing I didn't want to That's one thing I really struggled with and like is this really healthy for them? Like they need to see and we told them that, like you need to see a marriage where your parents are affectionate and your parents Yeah, I mean we've been very open with them, very very and you know it's like and you know, I think they know that deep down that that's what but they haven't seen it. They really truly haven't seen it. So yeah. I mean it was a struggle, but once I made the decision, and you know it was, I feel I feel as good as you can about it. I guess that's I don't want to sound insensitive because I know it's it's harder on him. I'll be honest, it is, and I don't want to be insensitive to that, but I truly feel like it's going to be what's best for everybody. Well, we all love you. I love you, and I'm I'm just I'm really proud of you, just like the work that you've done the last you know, a couple of years, and I know you made a very not easy decision and you know, Queendom is here for you. Wind down, wind down, Queendom is all you know that we're all We're all here to support. And I think, um, again, this is just another opportunity to to help people not feel alone. And I think especially with you know, this being Mental Health UM month, and I think so many people internalize things by themselves, which is and then you know they it's it's just not UM. And this is a way to be able to say, Okay, like you're not alone, UM, you are going through things and other people are going through the same thing. You just might not know that for sure. But I am really proud of you and we're gonna can I continue to check in on you even you're so sweet, you're so good. I'm like, wait, I'm supposed to be the one checking on you, girl. I am, I am, I'm, I'm for my divorce and I'm you know, it's now it's all about um loving myself because you know, for for me after my divorce, I was like a man was always something that defined me, like being in a relationship with something that defined me. And now it's like, no, it's it's finding me and healing alone, and like that's been that's been the work that like I've had to do. And but no, I mean your days of checking up on me are are done for now. We we're switching roles here and and I think you know and I always said and say this to her, and because I've known you know, obviously this is struggles. And I think you can ask a friend, would like would you need and how can I support you? Because somebody might not be ready, Like as much as I wanted y'all, of course, I love both of you dearly, and I would have loved y'all's relationship to work. At the same time, I also think y'all deserved, you know, right, other things as well. So it's like, what can how can I support Because I will support you fighting for this and I'll also support you, you know, being a single moment if you can get on my every other weekend so we can go working on it. I mean, you've been super supportive and I truly appreciate that, and I do I don't. I know, I couldn't have done it if it wasn't for my friends and Amy. I know that for a fact. So she's a she's a vessel. Yes, Um, well, we'll love you and we'll we'll circle back around when we have a lot of more people that come on that can help with that. But everyone go love on some Catherine right now. Um and uh, this episode is actually sponsored by uber Eats and UM, I don't know about you, but Catherine, we're gonna you know, our our girl. Wednesday nights are just going to be wild with and uber eats. We can you know, we can order chocolate, we can order clean X and tissues, and I think we can get stuff for our pool parties, parties, right we can, we can. We can get it all um with uber eats. So that's uh. I just encourage all the mama, single mama's, dad as grandparents. Uber Eats is an incredible app. It's actually just not for um just getting food delivered your house. It's anything and everything. Like I just ordered towels and I needed. Julie wanted to play down, so I was like, I don't have time to get your kids in here, but yes, let's just do this. Um, we're gonna take a break and then we're going to get on Karin Fox and talk more about um what this month means to her. Yeah, it's so nice to see you. So nice to see you too. I'm Janna. This is Catherine my hair is. Nice to meet you, sweetie. Um, I actually saw I saw you. My one girlfriend did beat am Julie. Oh she did, she did that. She was on the show. She was on the show. So yeah, my friend, my friend Julie Um Solomon. Yeah, and she you know, married to my extra and whatever and m so but yeah, it was like, god, how many years was that was probably four years ago because she's literally the girl that was like it can play one chord and she knows it, and I'm like, can you play the whole song because I still don't feel like no. I mean, I'm the DJ on the show, I know, and I remember seeing Admittedly there are songs where I'm like, I don't know how you could get it this fast because it's actually very hard. It's so hard. Um yeah, but I remember seeing you and just going, God, she is beautiful. And then what I didn't know at the time was that you know, your dad is Jamie Fox. So I was just like, oh wow, Like that's so cool that you know she's working with her dad, and how cool that must be. So well my friends on the show, I'm kind of just like, you know, and he's like my daughter, and I was like, this is so cool. That's so random. I cannot believe you know someone who's on the show. I was so curious, like what happens to our contestants because I have fall in love with them. They always have like such great stories and they do such a good job at like letting these people, and they come in with so much energy and they're so excited. So what a small world. I know it was. It was crazy, but I mean, you're so do you love doing that. I love doing it. I'm actually right now I'm in I are like and um shooting the fifth season of the show, which is crazy, um, but it's a blast. And working with my dad is amazing. I mean, I don't know if you have watched multiple episodes, but he just has so much energy and he's like a big kid. So I'm like parenting him on the show where I'm like, he's doing dance breaks and he doing dances he shouldn't be doing for his age, and I'm always like, hey, let's get back to the show dad, you know. So we have a really fun relationship that I also think like a lot of fathers and daughters can relate to with me like eye rolling and him, you know, trying to do like a funny bit and I'm just not having it. So I think a lot of people like to watch us and and can relate. Sure. Speaking of Ireland, I am I was out there last October. I didn't name that tune and they also filmed that in Ireland, so yes, that's and that's the that's the same creator I think of our show. Okay, yeah, but you need to go have you gone to um the Cliffs of im or or have you gone? I went to Dublin UM in college for uh, so I did go there very hungover. I think I need to go again. But it's gorgeous, it's so pretty. Yeah. No, so I took like a day trip and we went there, went to Galway and then I want to go there if it's super cute. It's just like cobble Stones and like you just skip and just skipping. Yeah, I just like drink some tea and um, so you did. I read an interview that you wanted to change your last name. I considered it and I said that in an interview and then I feel like it just exploded on the internet. Um, but I think I grew up. You know, everyone was always looking at me. They were always interested in the things that I was doing. And when I was going to college, I considered, for a brief moment, taking on my mom's last name just so I could get a fair shot. Um. I always like ugled with making friends and really feeling like, you know, are they being genuine? Do they want something for me? Do they just want concert tickets? Um? Do they just want to go to movie premieres? And not that that ever really happened. To me, but it was a constant like insecurity and fear. And I think going into college, I thought, well, maybe if I, you know, take my mom's last name, you know, people won't know who I am and they'll you know, not want things from me. And I didn't ultimately do that, but it was something that I did deal with and struggle with. And obviously I've been given so many blessings, um, from my dad's career, but there were some things that were also not so great about it as well. In a way, do you kind of think like, like, what are the things that you wish that you that weren't great about it? Um, you know, not much. I mean, I've been so blessed to be able to do so many great things. And when I was ten years old, I attended the Oscars with my dad when he want his first oscar, and so it's like you can't really complain, um. But I think because I was constantly looked at or I felt like people were always keeping an eye on me, I became a bit of a perfectionist and I never wanted to mess up. I never wanted to you know, embarrass my dad anything that he was putting that on me. It was just me putting it on myself, and um, I felt like I couldn't really be authentic for a while, until you know, I got older and really found my voice. But for a while, I really struggled with not wanting to mess up, and I didn't really give myself the grace to be a human. And I think children of celebrities kind of go one of two ways. Either you become you know, the crazy party kid that you read about all the time, or you become me, someone who didn't curse until I was like sixteen or seventeen because I thought stupid was a bad word and I didn't want to, you know, do something and say the wrong thing. And that was a lot of pressure for a kid. You know, Yeah, I think, yeah it is. And also, you know, people love to troll behind a computer and say things that they don't know about you. So I'm sure, like, is that something that you have a hard time dealing with? Two people that and how do you deal with that? UM? I think my both my parents had such a great job at teaching me the difference between what's real and what's not real and whose opinion to value. UM and my dad is like very harsh on social media in the terms of like not believing trolls and and and not even giving your time a day to it. Um. But I think I struggled with people saying, you know, assuming I guess like I'm spoiled and I don't work hard and all of those things. UM. And I always felt like I had to prove myself, and I always felt like I had to show up, you know, even more prepared than somebody else, and even more um, you know, impressive than some buddy else. And I think that was really tough on me. UM. But ultimately, you know, it served me. It created this work ethic that I have that I'm very proud of and that I get praised on all the time. And so, you know, it was tough, but it also you know, built character. How is it dating with your your dad? Oh? I get asked this all the time, you know, in high school. It was tough. We wrote a whole TV show about it. We did a show on Netflix called Dad, Stop Embarrassing Me, which was mostly about my dating experiences with my dad, because I think he was like waiting to play this role of um. You know, he grew up in Texas, so he wanted to do the whole like shotgun bit. And so my first boyfriend that came around, he was so hard on him, and even my college boyfriend the next one, he was so hard on him. And finally he learned his lesson and my boyfriend now he is so sweet too. But I had to go through and I had to go through my dad knocking on their front doors and threatening them and threatening their family that like this is this is a high school relationship and chain exactly, No, exactly, he really, I think he just I think he was playing a character because he's such a softy. This man cries all the time. He's super sensitive, So I think he was just like honestly playing a character. That's so funny. Is there something that your dad taught you that you know, like within your relationship now or the relationships that you have that is it? Did he teach you your worth? Is it? Like? What? Where? What are some things that like the positive things that he instilled, like for you to have healthy relationships, assuming you have a great healthy I have reships. Um, my dad has instilled in me this incredible self worth. My dad thinks the world of me, he tells me all the time, He's always like, do you know who you are? And not in this sense of like my last name, but in the sense of how wonderful and amazing and brilliant I am. And he makes me really feel that. And so that's how I've always look for a partner or not that I'm looking for my dad, but I'm looking for someone that sees me through his eyes and like sees how wonderful I am. And so I've never really been in like a toxic relationship. I've never really settled for any guy that wouldn't treat me well because I was just like, well, my dad treats me so wonderful, you know. It's like the opposite of daddy issues, you know. Um, And so I really thank him for that. And he also does it to my younger sister who's thirteena right now, but that's going to carry on into the relationships that she has and I can see it. Yeah, it's I mean, it's something that's you know, because I'm I'm doing a lot of like childhood trauma work. Again, I feel like I do it like every five years. But yeah, well that's what I was talking to someone because I'm going away to this place, and you know, I was like, God, like, how am I here again? And so he's like, honestly, he goes, I do a tune up every year. He's like, I think you know, even if you didn't have a bad childhood or whatever, it's like sometimes you learn something new or you have a tune up and it's it's needed. But same time, I'm just like, Okay, I know, like when my dad cheated on my mom, it made me feel like I wasn't enough, and you know, it's like and it's interesting like when little when not little things, well, when moments like that happen in your life, you start to believe that that is then what you're worth is And like then you start looking like, oh, well that's why I've been in toxic and after toxic and have you haven't loved myself enough because I didn't think my dad loved me And then it's like, you know, it just goes into this like spiral. So I'm always like, okay, like how do I like because I don't want this for my general like my kids generally. That's an interesting perspective. The opposite of that, like dad really lifting her up and treating her. I mean it's very interesting, makes you want to make sure that the men are very good to kids. Good on you for for breaking the cycle, you know, like and and noticing it and not wanting to like pass that on because I think so many people don't do the work. It's so much easier to not do the work. I've been in therapy since I was fourteen, so it is like my favorite topic. It isn't my favorite thing in the world. Um, And you know, I do think like our generation or is the generation that's actually like stopping these cycles because you can see like how our parents were affected by our grandparents so much. They're not as aware and I feel like we're very aware of like how our parents have influenced us. And like even me, I'm like I had a wonderful childhood, but I became a perfectionist. And that's also something that doesn't serve me necessarily. Well it's not that it doesn't. I mean, it's it's gotten you right to a to a great place having that, but it's something that you know you don't need to hold onto, like you don't have to be a perfectionist. You can use it in certain aspects, you know, Like I think you know, I think being guarded doesn't serve me, But at the same time, being guarded has helped me recognize things or maybe not allow things in um but the wrong things, Yeah, the wrong thing. But it's it's so hard when you go back to well, the conditioning of what we believed as little kids, and so it's it's it's trickery. We all are just like eight year olds operating as adults. It's it's interesting, have you figured out what age you are? Because I'm five, So when I get so, it's the moment that you that you basically you're worth was determined. So what age and there was something that I had to yeah, so or I had to go back and there was there was one point well five is when I you know, I felt fear, and then at thirteen was the second the second age. So I'm either I'm between a five and a thirteen year old when I have my like daddy issues quote unquote, I mean and it's funny, like you say, like now you know with my dad, it's they did the best they could with Because I looked at my Grandpa'm like, oh my grandpa was he didn't know. They didn't go to therapy. You know when when they were at that age. So it's like they you know, they didn't understand that, but um, yeah, it's it's it's fascinating. So we encourage anyone to do some childhood work. Yes, yes, we don't want to do the age thing. I've been in therapy since I was fourteen, and I feel like I've covered it all, but we have not done what age am I Yeah, it's and then and then it's all about like the experiential work that you do with that um and it's you basically talk to that age. It's mind blowing like it. It really is like it's you kind of like therapist. I know, you would switch seats with you like your your however old girl would be and then you're you're talking to it. I mean it's like yeah, and I'm probably gonna have to redo that again when I go this weekend, so it's like I need to come. Um. But I do love though that someone. You know, you obviously have such a big following and you're so vocal about anxiety and I love like, I love that because we talk a lot about anxiety on this podcast because I suffer from anxiety, and you know, I think at times you definitely it's different, it's but it's still UM. And I'm just curious, like, is it is the Does anxiety come from the perfectionism or does it come from a different place? You know, I think I had a genetic predisposition to it, um, And then I think it was triggered by things in my childhood, including um, you know, all of the pressures or the self imposed pressures of of my last name. Um. But there's some there's a few moments in my life that I can definitely pinpoint to where this anxiety developed. But it wasn't until I was fourteen that I really understood what was going on. And that's actually a very normal time. I'm an ambassador for NOMI, which is the National Alliance and Mental Illness, and seventy of mental health disorders start between the ages of fourteen and twenty four, So as soon as I turned fourteen, I was like right on, right on time. UM. But I remember sitting in my English class and UM, I could just feel my heart pounding and my palms were wetty, and I was having this thought that a plane was going to crash into the building and probably some trauma from nine eleven that I just didn't really understand, and I realized, Okay, this isn't normal. I'm sure that not every other kid is sitting here feeling this way. And for whatever reason, I had to wherewithal to go to my parents, which seems like the last thing a fourteen year old would do was like be like Mom, Dad, I'm not feeling good. But I did, and you know, they were so gry about it, and I met my therapist. So I still have today. I'm twenty eight, so I'm I'm approaching the year where I've been with her longer than I have not been with her. UM and and yeah, I've been working with on me ever since, and it's been so rewarding for me. If that, what do you do? You still have anxiety attacks? M I wouldn't say panic attacks anymore. I do have panic disorder. UM, so I guess I could have one. But I've really learned so many tools fourteen years in therapy that I can't feel when one's coming off one. I have a toolkit. I have this note in my phone that I've been writing for the last I don't know ten years, UM, of all these things to do if I'm not feeling well, and I really rely on that um and it's things like exercising and meditating and journaling and calling a friend and all these things that seems simple, but when you're having an anxiety attack, you can believe forget, You're just like, I have no tools. I'm a I'm a little baby, and I'm you know, flailing and I need help. And so having this notes app really is just like, Okay, I can just go to that. What do I do? I haven't done that? Let me do that, you know, Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's kind of the same thing where I'm all right, I don't have to call the ambulance anymore. I know how to do the five four, three to one or I'm like, I'm like, what what five things do I see in the room that like, you know, and then the breathing, But is there one that like works the best for you? Like technique wise, I think breath control was the biggest game changer for being when I started meditating, I really understood to it because of course, yes, it's calming, but there are like physiological changes that happen if you can get your heart right down your set, at least for me, and so when I learned how to take a deep breath when I want to just hyperventilate. That changed the game for me because it gives you your control back, Because when you're having an anxiety attack, it's a complete loss of control. So if you could do something that actually changes your physiological state, um, you know it's over. You know the panic attack is over. Yeah. Well, I love that you, you know, are such an advocate for that, and I you know, I appreciate that. And where can our listeners go to find more about that? Well, if they're struggling right now, they can go tonmi dot org. They have so many resources there. Um. But actually, right now, it's it's Mental Health Awareness Month and I just partnered with this brand called Shining the Light On to create this collection of like teas and buddies and crew necks and bucket hats, and the proceeds are going to not Me. So if they wanted to support not Me, they can go to shine the light on dot com and get some swag and look cute and support mental health. I love that. That's so great. I wish Mark was on too, because he he talks a lot about his daughter too and how he's how she's got anxiety, and but I think it's for me. One of the big things is, um, whenever I feel one coming on, expressing it and talking about it like I'm having a panic attack, because trying to hold it in and pretend that I'm not having a panic attack, it makes it like ten million times worse. Oh yeah, for sure, because it I mean, it grows bigger inside of you. And so when you can just like let it out a little bit, it's like it's power goes down. Yeah, you know, right exactly. It's like you're you're popping, You're popping the air out of it. But um, well, I just I so appreciate you coming on and um doing what you do and just keeping the light that you are because you're beautiful, and I just I appreciate you so thank you, thank you so much. It was so wonderful. You're sweet. Thanks girl, have a great one. Yes, you're by She's so sweet. She is just a breath of fresh air. That just made me think about the time we were in the small airplane. Oh god, And I really haven't dealt with yes, yes, And I really hadn't dealt with panics. I mean, I've never truly had a panic attack, never really been around people's were in this. I mean it was a small plane. Can we No, No, let's just let's just go back. It's not just a small plane. I mean you can't move. It's a what was a four seater six? Okay, but like the six it was like pilot. It was like like like you can't see me right now, and the thing. But we'd like literally like this and I had just had we had just Brantley and I had just broken up, and I was a hot mess. Oh my gosh. We'll just made me think of the extra time I have. You to talk about it, Oh you had to talk about it? Is like but can I get off the plane if I have to? And I'm like, no, you can't get off the plane, And she's like, but if I have to? Because that's what you're saying, is it? Because like the worst thing about having panic attack is like you can't, like you feel stuck right. So I'm like, so I'm like starting to feel it come on, and I'm already like, oh my god, like I'm gonna be alone forever like you as much as I do, I'll make so much more sense. But in the moment, because I mean, I mean, we knew each other well, but like it was the first true I was just like finally, I was like, oh, I'm supposed to tell her we can get off the plane. Yeah it's not possible, but sure, yeah we can get off the plane. It's fine. I'm glad you finally caught onto that because I was like, it took me a little and I was like, um, was Lisa with us too? Was that the one Lisa was on? I think she was having a panic attack too. I'll have to call to remember you. I just remember you being in front of me. I can still visualize it, and I'm like Katherine having a panting attack. I don't want to do the show. I don't want to do I can't do the show, and You're like, we have to do the show and I was like, no, no, Gather, I can't do the show. And then I'm having a companion attacks, like how do I cancel the show? This is like when I was like, somewhat on top of not not you have somewhat you know, successful in music. You were like and so um, you know what I mean? Now, Like I was like I actually had a label and stuff, but and then I was like, well, I need to do I need you to turn the plane around. She's like, we can't turn the plane around. And I was like, what do mean we can turn the plane around? Voice like I'm going to have to get on this thing and tell him. So I was like, I'm glad you finally caught onto the fact that I was like, I need you to tell me we can turn this plane around. We're not going to, but if we had to, I was like, what if I die? Like if we had to turn the plane around, Like that's what I remember. One time I think I was flying to Scotland. Oh yeah, I was when I was my ex um. We were flying to Scotland for a friend, my friend's wedding and we just had Jason. So I was like super like you know, hormonal or whatever, anxious, And I remember I started to have panic attack on the plane because I'm like, this is a ten hour It's like and um. I remember going out to the flight ten I was like, can I pleast have some ice because I wanted, you know, one of the tricks to put ice on your like your palm, your back, of your neck. And I just started like dusting myself with like ice. And then I was like, um, so it's like someone had to stop the plane because of like a panic attack or like you know. She was just like I basically like what what is the protocol for that? Like how does it like does one just does one get to stop a plane? And she was basically just like, I mean, if it was like a dire situation. So I was like, enough, so if I have to myself, which I'll never do, knock on wood, but like you know what I mean, like except for unless you're stuck on the inner State, bad weather, and then by god you're getting off. We're getting off. Hey, but you should be very proud of me. I have started to drive on the expressway that very big, Like you've done it multiple times now, I think three times. I sent a picture as I'm driving. I sent a picture to Queendom and I was like, look, girls don't want the expressway. Know. The thing is that you didn't even say look girls, I'm on the express It was just a phone and everybody knew that's true, that that was my internal brain. And you're right. I didn't say yeah. And I was like, you know, but I think and what you will see too as some things that maybe you it could be with affection, I don't know, but like or whatever, like with my anxiety or me feeling like I always have to have a relationship, which now I'm like, I don't want one. I'm gonna love them. I'm gonna be happy alone, Like I'm going to drive on the Expressway. I don't mean a man to make me feel like a few daddy issues. I'm in my third round of like an intensive therapy, like let's do this, so it's like, you know, you start to like feel like, oh, like little little moments of like healing are like good. Yeah. And that was like a small small victories victories, yeah for sure. Um, like going on uber eats app. You know that's small little victories when you don't have to like get the kids in the car. Yeah, and four different places because I needed a speaker for the pool party, I needed towels, I needed groceries and then and you were probably about to have a panic attack because you didn't have it. Yes, seriously, so thank you Uber eats and um, if you want to do a one stop on your phone, you can get it all that day. Um, oh did you So? I started writing some new songs. Did you hinted that one song reminds you of something? Which one? This somewhere are out there? And I don't think? So okay, well there we Well we're in the middle of um writing a song and I go, guys, does this remind you of that one song? That one song? No but fible no somewhere beneath the paiment come on? I mean vaguely, it's like I'm trying to say in a chipmunk voice, okay or whatever the nuts It's like, it's not a chip it's It's like the whole song was basically about like I know you're you're out there somewhere. It's it's Linda Ron stats from American Tale. It is fifle your stat man. I can't remember how it goes, but I'm gonna do we have a little odd I don't even think we could probably play it, but anyhow, um it is for some reason because the whole song was like I'm I was like, what's like the next song I'm gonna write about? Right? So I was like, all right, I'm good, but like I just I wonder, like if you're out there praying like I'm praying for you, you know like in one day it'll be a great day. But right now, like, stay the heck away, I'm good, I'm kidding. I don't need you, I don't want you. Oh man, um, well, I love you guys, and I hope you guys have a great rest of the day, and go to Katherine's page and fill her with lots of love because we love you, Cat, and hopefully we were able to give you some smiles. And you know you can always make fun of me, right, because that's how you make sorry. She's like, as long as we can crack jokes at you, it just makes me feel at home. Oh oh, this just in Mark omens. It's not a chap done. How do you say this? Mind needs? It's three simple syllables? What is it? Mole knit? I would like it to sc that way is problematic the ages that's I was like mulhollandnski. So I missed some big news. I think, oh well it wasn't like breaking like like happy news. Well it's sad news. Is I'm sorry to hear that, Cathom. That's really unfortunate. And unless you're thrilled and excited, I don't know. I don't know the vibe here trying to read the room. Well, we were trying to like you know, ended on a on a high note crack and a little little jokes here and there. But I will say something that I have checked in. When I've checked in, I go, how how are you feeling? Like? Do you feel relieved or and your your responses has made me go okay, like yeah, yeah. And I hate to use that word relieved because I feel guilty using that word, but I do. I do kind of feel that way, and I do feel I feel very hopeful, I feel very hope full that everything's going to work out the way that it should. So well, that's good. If you're feeling that way, then it sounds that this is the best decision for everybody. Agreed. Agreed? Should we blame this podcast because this is not a good track record in this most work? Oh my god, are you a secret troll? Are you look? I'm not trying to bring my friends down with me? Like I'm how many times I say no, like, work on it, stay in it. If anything is, can we just time out really fast. I'm the one that worked on my ex when he cheated a million times, so hello, like I'm the biggest advocate record in this little Zoom meeting, isn't wonderful. Maybe I should get out, Maybe he should run now, No, if anything, it's been helpful. If anything, it's definitely been helpful. And you know what I would say to that as well, is this podcast is about healing. So if you're on the board with healing, then you're in the right am I am on board and happy to be here. Amazing. So that's how we get to end it cracking on you. That's your fault, Jesus. Well, that's what everyone's gonna say now though, I'm just kidding, anxiety. I can't wait till my tell all comes out and you're really get it. Mark good Well, thanks thanks for joining us. Mark. Well, I'm sorry I came so late and I just wanted to express my condolences and my best wishes and good luck and all that stuff and tell me to go off and that it's all my fault. I'm kidding, it's fine, it's fine. Maybe it's their fault. There's like ten of them. It's no one's fault. That's the thing. At the end of the day, it's no one's fault. And um yeah, now we got the supportive wine down. So UM, next week, UM we'll be back and um we will be in one step closer to healing. But um, let's not forget to download the uber eats app because it is easy. It saves time. Um, so save your time and order with the uber eats app today. Again. You can get anything like from groceries too. I don't know if you want to order. Um, like, I ordered a poke bowl the other day because I was hungry for dinner. Um cookbooks now that I'm on a big crock pot recipe search, who I need that too? Yeah? I know, Katherine, Katherine DM mean goes Hey single moms sending send me the recipe about to be one. What we do have in common is we both can't cook. Yeah, I oh, you know we should do Wednesday night. Can't cook single mom night. We teach. We teach each other out a cook see little things and uber eats is going to help us with that with the cookbooks because we can get anything from there. Download the app today, See you guys next week