Wine down with Janet Kramer and I heard radio podcast. I just want to start this off by saying it. I am having a very bad day to day. Today is just not a great day. Does everyone else? How is everyone else feeling? Well? Not wonderful? Because today it's very rainy in Los Angeles? Really, and I got my booster yesterday, so I'm a little bit I feel like i want to go light out. I've heard that one's been so terrible. It's about the same as the second, the last one. It's about the same, which is I'm somewhere between great and terrible. That's things Eastern. I'm good. You know. I had that booster like a month or two ago. I was fine, Baby, I wasn't think they gave me the right one. I think I think I'm just trying to get I'm working on it. Don't look at me like I'm crazy. I'm almost there. I'm taller than whom everyone was here before. Um, how are you, Catherine? I'm good. Yeah, I got that microphone figure out there. I can't hear the listeners to hear that too. I'm doing it. We're actually started from I told you I'm in a bad mood today. Clearly, what's the genesis of your bad mood? You know? I received an email I think by accident, and it bothered me because it was someone spending money from my past and I just felt like annoyance and just and then something's happened after that and then I just I just it just I just am just some A lot of emotions came up of a resentment and annoyances and I'm getting rid of like this like work bench thing that he spent a lot of money on um and it was like never, it was never. I don't know, all right, I mean I don't. I know it's hard to talk about, but I think all of us know exactly what you're saying, and I understand how frustrating that would be. But I did here. Did you say that me and Ryan had a connection? You know, I feel that there was a vibe there, There was some there's a nice back and forth half with Seacrest. I was honestly krus show, which I was actually really nervous about. Did I did I sound nervous? You did not seem nervous. No, really, you didn't know, you seem you seemed great, you were great. Thanks, But there was there was a nice back and forth banter, but I didn't feel a connection. No, no, well hey, drawing board were good. Um yeah, but anyways, I missed you guys. You guys have been gone a few shows ish. It's tough. Your schedule is there is always changing. It's hard to keep up. Yes, I'm happy to be here today. We're very blessed to be here. Being serious, I love you Jan any moment with you as a treasure. Oh there's so much sarcasm in that he's just sucking up to you, does it? Okay? I have a question. Can we talk about gifts for a second, because the holiday season is coming up and I Kavin just said I'm really hard to buy for which I really and here's here's here's the thing. Let's just say that you're starting to let me let me just do you like to get gifts as a man? Eastern mark? Go receive them or buy them both? Yeah? I like to get them more than I like to buy them. I guess yes, I enjoy receiving gifts. It's great. I'm not great at buying them. And now I'm going to complain about my wife for just a minute. She has successfully blocked off every gift avenue that exists. In my mind. Maybe I'm simply shortsighted about the whole thing, but I am not to buy her jewelry because she has very specific tastes and she doesn't and she wants to buy her on and not to buy her clothes the same reason. There's very few things I can buy her. So what I ended up doing for a number of years is she loves wine. So on her birthday or on Mother's Day, I would go to you know, the wine place and just get a whole bunch of bottles of wine. And then before she got up in the morning, I would hide them around the house like as she went through her day, she'd open the microwave, but oh, bottle of wine. And it was really fun. Then she discovered fit Vine. We are not being paid for this endorsement. I'm just telling you because one is going to kick your ass if you talk any more about it. She discovered fit Vine, and now I can't buy her anything else. That's all she wants is fit Vine. So that's my twelve bottles of fit n Now her birthday is right after Christmas. Christmas, she's already crossed off the list and said, we're not getting each other anything. We're gonna just buy something for the family or the house. That's gonna be the Christmas gift. But at stick to that. I do for the most part, because like one year, I was like, don't. I'm also gonna get her shoes. Those went right back to the store. So I'll get her like a little ornament, something simple, nothing elaborate, nothing that she's gonna want to return right away. But her birthdays in January. So I said, by the way, yeah, I'm doing a job, will you for your birthday? Which, hey, no, you're not supposed to ask, I should know, But what do you want? She goes, I know what I have for my birthday? Is like, oh, this is gonna be great. She got her eye, a necklace, she got an eye, and tell a generator. Oh, for God's say, she wants a generator in case the power goes out, because earlier this year the power one out and we had to go to a hotel because I had to work in the kids had zoom school and so we had joints. Never again, I want to generator for I was like, well, that's not that's not a birth Okay, fine, don't get she generated great, So that's that's my complaint. And does she ever get mad like if you don't get her something when you say that you don't want anything. No, she really sticks to that. It's not the trap it is in some relationships. Yeah, that she usually gets a little annoyed that I got her something because she didn't get me anything, and that she's like, what are you doing? We agreed to this, Okay. I will defend men in this one, okay, because I think it's really really hard to get it right. I think you're you can your intent can be good, like getting shoes, for instance, but are you really going to pick out the shoes that you're really gonna wear? Want to wear? And are you really going to keep them and wear them if they get the shoes that you don't like? I've never returned to pair of shoes. M are you going to wear? I've always worn them. I don't believe you. I'm gonna somewhere perfectly. I Why am I so hard to buy for and you're gonna with us? I truly don't want anything. Having said that, why are you looking at me like that? Because that's not true. I just I like to say I mean it. I want something meaningful, like you know, my last Christmas is like there was. It's like I like to give a lot for Christmas to the person that I love, So when I receive a bidet and Amazon pens back, it can be a little hurtful. Well, the answer to your question about why you're hard to shop four is one is because you are so giving with gifts, so there's there's a lot of pressure there, I'll be honest. Yeah, it raises the bar a lot um. That's one too, Like you do have a particular style or a particular any girl, any girl that's hard, Like that's why my husband stopped by any because I took everything back, like you said, like if I didn't like it, I'm not going to just keep it and waste the money, like if I'm not going to wear it or it sits in the closet. And maybe that's fun though, because then you get to go and you've got to you've got credit at this store and you can shop for yourself. And then you don't want to hurt their feelings. I don't like hurting like I like to pretend like I like it because I want to hurt his face because at least he tried, you know. Like I remember one year Mike got me like the ugliest shirt ever, and I was like, oh my god, I love it. I love it so much. I could never tell someone I don't like their gifts, like I just I can't. I think that men men are have more of like a they have more stuff their stuff, you know, like like Mark Mark likes the Brewers, Uh, like I like Captain America, Like like, men don't grow out of that boy thing, and women have much more just a much more dissertaining palate when it comes to the things they like. Because we're children. Because because men are children and women are full grown adults that like exist in the world. Um, And I think that's why it's it's easy to buy for men and harder to buy for women. That's something I've always thought about. Yeah, sure, I think I get that, But I also I feel like, is it is it a fantasy to just be like on Christmas morning to open this like beautiful little like Dell Kits piece of jewelry and be like, oh my god, thank you, and you didn't have to ask all my friends And like, no, I mean I don't think it's a complete fantasy, but for it to be the perfect exactly what you wanted. But it's the thought that counts. That's the thing. Like I don't care actually what it is. It's like the thought and the intention behind it, which I think you mean. But I think the pressure on the other end is getting it right. Interesting, Like I was even dressed about the necklace I got for you. I love it and I really genuinely do, right, but you actually do, but like you might not like the prettiest, little daintiest and it's like it's all like at the end of the day, it's just like write me a beautiful letter and frame it or like things like that are so sweet. But I'm just saying, what girl doesn't like a little diamond her there? So do we want diamonds or shoes? Anyways, we have an amazing guest in the the waiting room, Jesus, I like with the waiting rooms. Um, we're going to bring her on and we're gonna talk about mental health because um, it needs to be talked about more so, and then we'll get back to this Christmas combo. Because a certain someone texts Catherine asking for a gift idea for me, so stay tuned right. Hey Mandy, how are you, lady good? How are you? I'm Janna. This is my co host and best friend Catherine. Hey, how are you to meet you? Nice to meet you. Um. I feel like you have just joined us on the perfect day because I woke up in just a funk, like a total freaking funk, you know, just one of those days we're just like, you don't even like there's like things that are bothering you at the same time, it's just this like blanket over you. You know. Yeah, I get that. I get that a lot, where you just feel like and there's no reason to be like like there's like maybe a little pieces, but like I said, that shouldn't be bringing me down to like, you know, depression town. All right, Well, let's perk you up there. I know, I know, but I but I was, you know, I was so excited to have you on because I think, um, you know, what you guys are doing are are is incredible. UM, And I know I know that um it's launching. Wonder Mind is launching in February, So could you just kind of give a synopsis of what it is um to our listeners and what's going to be on Wonderland. Well I wonder mine, Yeah, Um, wonder mine is basically, um, we're creating the first mental fitness ecosystem, which for what that means to us is we're going to cover all media like daily content, podcasts, film, and television. But we're also going to create tangible product so instead of it being an app, it's something that will kind of disconnect to you. We we are thinking about an app, but I can't like say for sure if that's going to happen, but like tangible products, So what would a mental health aisle at target mean and what would it look like in for example, with a tangible product, I like to use a d h D because that's what I have. And Um, but they give you these big bulky timers to keep you focused. So we're going to create like cool little dice so that like kids will carry them, you can put them on your desk, nobody's gonna ask you what it is, and so everything is gonna be Um. We're building our advisory board. We're gonna work with neuroscientists to create new content and not not like necessarily new verbiage. We're gonna stay aligned with like everything that's already been scientifically proven, but also kind of push those boundaries to you know, with with the proper people, because none of us are professionals and we're not here to diagnose anyone. We're here to kind of go on that journey of learning how you you make your mind your mindset that you're more unique than defective. Because people like to think as a mental illness if you're diagnosed with that, um it started back with it used to be religion. If you know you had mental health back in the seventeenth century, your demonic, then you know the eighteenth century you became um like unhygienic. And so there's always just been this like stigma stigma on it where people don't really wanna like talk about it because also the media ourselves has played a role in kind of like showing the darkest side of mental health with things like Girl Interrupted or One who Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. So I feel like trying to detach some of the apps UM and some of that to build an outside community where we're really touching like each other one on one and in person. We want them to be able to talk about it. So UM like our first UM podcasts will be called two and eight to means State of Mind and Cockney, And we're just gonna have conversations with anybody and everybody about like daily routines or something. They may want to talk about how they overcame something, but we're not gonna like put a label. If someone wants to say, yeah, I'm diagnosed by polar that's the right, but we're not going to push it and say, oh, well have you checked out like this or you know, We're just gonna have honest conversations to where um where people see that even if you have a diagnosed mental health illness, that you are not broken and you can't have a fruitful life like it's going to be a journey and it's never going to be fixed. So let's how do you exercise your mind? And my partner, Danielle As she uses a great metaphor that when you are working out and you have a personal trainer, you can't not work out the rest of the week, otherwise you're not getting that six pack. So your therapist is your personal trainer. And some people can't afford to go to therapy more than once a month, So what do you do in between and we want to provide some of those tools that will be free and accessible, um, because we also want to reach the underprivileged communities that don't have access to any of it and where the government kind of wants to keep it like out because then the prison systems are going to fail if all everybody starts getting you know, their mental health aligned. So you know, that was a long answer to what mental fitness means, but it's just becoming part of your daily routine. And all of our stuff is going to be done through creative Like our journal is a creative journal. It's not this morning I woke up failing five. My goal is to fill ten because there's so much toxic positivity and toxic happiness that you know, when you are dealing with like say, depression and you've never dealt with it before, um, you you could get it can get misconstrued to where you feel like you're you're you're you know you're wrong, or you're bad or and then you watch other people just saying, oh, breathe five times and you're gonna be okay, and yeah, breathe. Breathing is helpful, but that's not going to fix a long term, you know issue, you may have for sure, what what is the thing that helps you? Like there you know, like for me, like um with my physical fitness, like I love to run, that also helps my mental fitness to um. But what's what's the thing that kind of is like is your top that helps you with your mental fitness? Putting my phone down, not looking at social media? Um? And you know, UM, I try to. I try to just like read books or find like go into my bedroom and kind of relax or meta tate and you know I I do. I am blessed to be able to have therapy once a week and you know CBT dbt UM cognitive behavioral therapy where you know, there's there's this one thing I learned when I went away to treatment that it's a balloon. And so every time you're mad at someone, you like draw a picture of that person on the balloon and then you pop it and you just keep blowing that up and popping that and then eventually the anger goes away and then you could make more like, um, decisive decisions on how you're going to actually approach that person. So it's like, you know, it's like the screaming and the pillow, but it's actually a lot more fun to pop them with the needle. I need that, Like that would be that would be fantastic. Something else you said to um with um the your A D H D that the the time or the counter thing. Sometimes I've noticed, like today, I even noticed that like I kind of got into like a depressed stay and was you know, I had so much to do and I literally just like stared at my computer screen for like and stayed in it for like a good few hours. And man, it was like mindlessly like doing stuff. But like I just was like and the entire time I had was like get up, like get up and go do what you have to do, or like either cry, get up, do something, you know what I mean. And then I but if I could have something that was just like you know, I sometimes think of Mel when she was um Mel Robbins Robbins, Yeah, when she's like three two one, get up, like go, and it's like sometimes I have to do things like that, but that something tangible like that would be really great to help in those moments. But I just I love it because especially when when you're when we're on social media and or the internet or whatever, it would be nice to have a place where you're actually getting things that are helpful and not things that are triggering more of the stressors and the triggers and the depression and all that stuff. Yeah, I think I think simplifying it is um Like, you know, I'm not talking about like professionals that are aligned trying to make change. I'm talking about, you know, more of the armchair therapists. Like you know, I've I was misdiagnosed bipolar and just found out in my forties. I'm actually a d h D with trauma, so I know everything there is to know about bipolar, but I'm relearning how my brain functions really as a d h D. So I think like when you know, um, I use this example all the time, but like when you do the go on the YouTube and these people are just like pretending to be therapists and it's like five tips he's a narcissist. It's like those are all five tips of me. And I don't feel I'm narcissistic. I cry, I have emotions, I have empathy. Like so I think that as kind of really we need to take back the language, we need to take back the verbiage and kind of like gas lighting is still thrown out there, like and do some people really know what gas lighting is? Or you can't say someone's a sociopath. You know, it's like we're all diagnosing each other. And so what I feel is what we can do at Wondermine, it's just all kind of talk to each other, and you know, like all of us are gonna be honest because we're three different women from three different generations that have our own successful businesses prior to this. So we wanted to That's why the entrepreneur was so important to us, because we're showing you can have a diagnosed mental illness and still live a fruitful life. You Still, it's not I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but I feel that that's what some of these armchair like therapists do is like, oh, like if you just go out and meditate for ten minutes, it's a combination of getting a routine together that can actually help you UM in other forms. And so like we with with kind of the app situation UM, we have done some discovery that the reason why some of it like falls off is because there is no physical or verbal UM interaction. And so we want to kind of go back to where you know, this is a child's dream come true. But like back in my day, they would like people would just show up at your house and you would just all hanging out with your family and everybody was welcome. And now today, like it just seems the more and more social media, the more and more enclosure getting. And when you already have a mental health diagnosis, you already feel isolated. So now this isolation that we're all experiencing on top of you know, already feeling like no one understands you. It's so dangerous and it's um. That's that's where the toxicity comes in. And we just want to share our stories and grow with our listeners, grow with it, and like just you know, may may everyone know that you're not broken, you're not um. If your religion is like, oh, you're you know, a demon and we need to do an exorcism, there's so many like barriers that we have to get through that our first agenda is just like let's chill, let's talk, let's build these tools that you're not ashamed to use. And like our journal already said it was kind of creative or whatever, and but we're gonna work with neuroscientists on creating all of this content of how you may not even feel and you're enjoying working your mind. It's such a good point you brought up earlier about you know, we talked about therapy a lot on this podcast and how fortunate enough we are to go to therapy. But I was actually thinking about this before, like how many people can truly afford to go to if if insurance doesn't cover it, you know, every week to therapy or every month or you know. I actually have a friend who is looking for therapy for two of her sons, and she's like, I can't afford that. I can't afford to go every week, you know, but I need they need help, you know. And it's it's they need something. You know, there has to be something out there for people that cannot afford to do that. I mean, it's it's expensive. You know, it's a lot more fortunate, but yeah, no, it's it's really expensive. And then if you need medication, you've seen a psychologist and a psychiatrist, so there's two bills, you know, and um, and the psychiatrists talked to you for like fifteen minutes, and just assume the medication is working. You know, I have a very good relationship with my psychiatrists. But whenever UM I finally went away, I UM I had actually for my bipolar I was put on anti sesure medication, and UM, when I started getting an early menopause, my hormones started changing and I was having grand mall seizures from this anti seizure medication. And then I was having this medication to override this medication, to override this medication, and I just like I took so many sleeping pills because it had been like a week and I hadn't slept, and then I didn't go to sleep, and I just looked at my husband and I said, there's something wrong, and UM, it's not working like my weekly therapy. And I got on a plane and went away and spent thirty days with people who really listened and really tested and that facility UM was fift dollars a day. Luckily my insurance covered it. But I want to take some of those tools and put those online, you know, like we can't replace that, but we want to like offer some of those like work books that maybe you can do or like that, you know, UM popping in the balloon, like it really ushould just have a wall of balloons so you can just walk through and pop them a lot. But I have, yeah, I have. I have a bunch of balloons saved up for my son's third birthday party. So I'm just gonna start blowing them up and just starting. Yeah, I know, right there, right there on the wall, It's gonna be great. Um. I asked him some of the listeners on my Instagram some questions you know about um, because I said I was talking to you and just I know, you know, I'm not therapists. You're not therapist. You're not therapists. But we've also have our own issues around mental health and we all go through things and so someone, Um, there's a few questions I wanted to ask you. This is from um, miss Angela. How do you help others deal with mental health while still watching yours? Because I think that's a really good because because I'm always like trying to be authentic on my Instagram, but at the same time, I'm like, well, shoot, like I still have you know, my own issues too that I have to, you know, make sure I go to therapy or talk to a friend. Like today, they're just being like, I had a really crappy day today and I feel depressed, But how do you? How do you do yours? Um? I used to have a major problem. Even when I went away to the facility, I was afraid to get close to anyone because it's so easy to deflect your issues and want to help other people fix their issues, but then you run out of any steam, so you're not helping yourself. So what I've learned to do is listen. Just let them talk, Just let them talk completely, hear them out, and then ask them do you want me to listen or do you want advice? Or do you want to know my experience? And knowing that I can't give you advice, but like maybe I can guide you to a book I read or got it, and then not hold onto it and then follow up and check onto them. And that's a really hard thing for me, not to hold on to someone else's trauma or experiences because I want to be a fixer, and it's just I can't fix anyone if I have nothing to give, even myself. Well, I think too if something was like because I early on, when like um, my ex husband cheated a bunch, I started helping some women that had come into my d m s and because I wanted to help, But then I realized I was like, this is actually triggering me more because I still have so much unhealed trauma from it that I I'm now going to be I'm doing a disservice to myself. But by talking to the women that like he's either or or that hurt some you know, that hurt them. So it's like I just I can't. I can't do this any anymore. And then now I've kind of started to help you know, a few more people, but more so, but I keep more of like an arm's length because I'm like I I still noticed the triggers that come up still to this day. Yeah, for sure. Like I, Um, I interesting enough, I was in a very abusive relationship when I was younger, and I really thought that I had overcame it, and like, um, I've I've had a lot of trauma, lost a lot of friends to murder, to suicide at like a high gang violence area. So it was really like you survived, That's what your main goal was to do. And I thought I had really worked on a lot of it, and then um, someone brought up my abuser's name, and I literally went into trauma, like I was like back in that place, and this wasn't too long ago, a couple of weeks ago, and I was just shaking and shivering and I'm and I hadn't experienced that, so that was like totally new to me. And I, you know, luckily was able to get ahold of my therapist and she's like she kind of guided me through a little bit of it. But there's there has to be accessibility for some of these people. You know, there is a suicide prevention hotline that does really well. Not saying anybody you're speaking to is suicidal over cheating, but it does. It abuses you in more ways than just the action of what they have done. It like it a it like UM. It makes you feel less valuable when you're not the actual one who's doing things that are and like wrong or whatever. But that's my opinion because I was cheated onto massively by um, the physical abuser. They like to do this. Yeah, Jordan's says, how to be happy? Struggling to wake up and feel happy lately? What helps you? I? I honestly the I go to gratefulness as much as I can. I'm like, Okay, that's that's been something that's been helpful. Are you guys gonna have something like that on on there too? Yeah? I mean thinking thinking more of like the positive out of the negative. You know, whatever the situation is is always helpful. Um some times, like getting out of bed and even showering is a mission for me. Like if I I don't think I've blow dried my own hair, and like six months while I was like in the hospital and going through all that and all this other stuff, and and like I go get it blown out, and that makes me feel better. And I always like I want to be going and going and doing something. So me getting my nails done or me getting my hair done, it's like I don't care about it because I don't feel like I'm changing the world or doing something more important. But self care is so important to get up and look forward to a massage or even like, um, like what I do when I have a hard time getting out of bed is I've created a routine where I get up at five thirty, I put on one of my like true crime podcasts, and I drive to Starbucks get my Starbucks. And the fact that I just sat out of the house makes me not want to go back in the house and shut it up. And that is that's the hard part. That's the hard part, getting out of your comfort because my comfort is my bed and shades shut and it just has always been that, So you do have to put some force behind it. But I also hope that one er mine can help people understand what is keeping them in bed? What is keeping what is what is the root of the problem that can be corrected with something that is UM not necessarily like medication. And I'm not anti medication and saved my life, but it's also not for everybody. So UM, what works for me, he's not going to work for maybe you two. So I I just feel like that's what's important, is people getting the connecting UM mindset with your body and because we are so disconnected and so on social media. And I've gone sixty days without my phone and I did not miss it for five second. It was amazing. So and as a mom, you know, obviously you know your daughter has been very UM vocal about UM, you know, bipolar and her mental health, and how do you how do you continue to support UM and and be there for like someone had asked, as a parent, how can you help your daughter who has bipolar disorder? Because I feel helpless. It is it's a very helpless feeling because you you just automatically want to take the pain away. But um, what I have found because we've gone through our ups and downs with my mental health and her mental health and how we reacted, and we we would do conversations together, um like not necessarily family therapy, but like try to you know, the older she got, the easier was. But you know, she's been in facilities a few times, and I've learned. I've learned to be the mother she needs and said of the mother I want to be. And so I would learn like like things like you know, because I needed it a parent that was a hard ass and supported me and like my parents were always working, and so I would protect her to a fault and didn't let her grow up. And then and it's still hard, but I had to retrain, like I'm like, what do you need from me? If you don't need me asking you twenty questions, then I won't ask you twenty questions, and then let's get through this moment. And then I find most of the times they just they just want to be held. They truly do, even if they start paunching you and kicking you. Um, holding them just put them in such a peaceful place. So, you know, we have been through a lot with that and me thinking I had bipolar. I thought I understood her. In reality, I was understanding what I read in books, which does not qualify me to you know, like talk to her therapeutically. So um, we had to learn with our like like I know when I don't hear from her for a couple of days on text, I know she's needing a minute, you know, whereas before I would blow her up and like are you okay? Are you okay? Like where are you? You know, because she's a celebrity, so I get freaked out about Luckily, sometimes there's just pictures every day what she's doing and I know where she is. But like, you know, most parents don't have that luxury. So but like I had to learn to not um always like talk about it in a medicinal way, and talk about it in an emotional supportive way, and and just say what do you need? Like what do you need from me? And sometimes they need peace, Sometimes they need you to hear them. Sometimes they need a hug. Sometimes they'll say off like it but they need to say that, and then you come back and they usually apologize and like this is where my head's faces. So it does. It just takes time to kind of really understand each other. And I do feel like a lot of that fault was me not mothering my child the way she needed. Do you have because I'm just thinking that because I've um we both have kids, and my daughter she's she's about to turn six, but I'm I'm so fearful for the day that to be like, oh I wish I did that because now I'm now I've screwed her up this way or I wrote her too much, or I was too hard on her like the other day, like it's I'm emotional. I don't know why, but like like every time I talk to my kids, I always never want them to like you know, I don't want to screw them up. But like I was like writing her on her sing site words and I'm like, Jolie, like, how how are you saying? Do there's no like when there's an M like it's me. It was like and I was like, oh my god, Janna, and I started like crying because I was like, what is wrong with you? Like, stop writing? You're freaking five year old? You know what I mean about her site words, She's gonna she's gonna read in her time. But like then I'm like, am I being too hard on her? Like is this going to cause this? Or like or if I'm a not hot on her, she's gonna be too soft or I'm like, sorry, I'll do that. No, no, no, we we do. We all all do it. As my husband more than me, I'm kind of like a hippie parent. But um with I I mean, do you feel like this was maybe something that is insecure about your own self? So yeah, I always I always reflect that because that's always like, Okay, if I'm feeling something, it's because I have to like what what is unresolved in me? Or what it like? What do I need to reflect back? And I think I'm so afraid of failing. Yeah yeah, yeah, but look, you're raising the two beautiful kids, So how are you selling a plood? I heard you actually do in a movie podcast. And you love your parents? I mean you love your kids. I don't know if you love your parents, you know, it's like but you know it's I think we are as parents really really hard on ourselves and with if if you're asking me if I had that moment with Selena, I do feel like when she was getting in her twenties and I was still managing her, our family was so because managers know everything about their kids. I mean, they're their talent, and so I was coming to the point where if she did something silly or you know, controversial or whatever, like you, as a manager, it's your job to fix it. But then I would go, Okay, as your mom, what the were you thinking? And so I regret those days, you know, And but like you know, raising a kid as hard anyways, and you're raising one in Hollywood, it's like you don't know what's right from wrong, and um, it's so I think we kind of all do it. And maybe just the only advice I can really give is I wish sometimes I listened more and wasn't so laxa daizel with her and certain things. You know, she came in one day and she's like, I did this, and at uh, because I knew how to do, We'll deal with it the next day. And I was like, we'll talk about this in the morning. And then through therapy, I found out that that literally broke her heart. It was like, and it was weird because I remembered that moment, but at that moment it didn't seem that important to me. And also she always felt like she had to try harder because I would never make a big deal out of awards, like because I didn't want her to think that that's what matters. So in my mind, doing something great, but in her mind, she's like, I gotta push further or my mom's not proud of me. I had no idea this was going on. So that was you know, that was something that we learned through communications. I mean, all you can really do is just listen. I mean we're bound to mess up something somehow or that's so crazy, Like it makes so much sense. You think you're doing what you should, but then it's how they take it and what they want. I mean that's hard. I mean that's so because I and then I wouldn't. I would never have thought that that she would have thought like, oh, I need to do get this award because then maybe my mom will be excited or happy about it like that, because I would do exactly what you would have done. And that then I'd be like, oh, that's awesome, and then like the next conversation, yeah, there. She was wanting me to be like, you know, super proud of her. So now I've I've learned that, and I am proud of her. And so I've just learned that I need to reach out when moments happened that I know her milestones and let her know I'm proud of her, you know, because they obviously mean something to her, and I just never wanted that to be her value forming award. So when um our listeners go to wondermind dot com, I know it officially launches in February, but what is there anything there that they can see now or is there like an email thing to like get them when Yeah, you can definitely when you go to wondermind dot com, um there is a at the very first page where you can put your email that we can give you updates on, and then eventually there will and then there's you know, our bios which aren't very exciting, but you will be updated on like when the podcast dates are set, and then we can start spending daily content and like in February, so roughly some of that is like where we're kind of looking the product will be down the line, because that's got a lot of responsibility and um, but yeah, we're we're really excited to UM to explore the space and try to make like something that should have been done UM decades ago for sure. Well, I mean I hate that we all go through things at the same time. You're, you know, Selena, you you guys are using a platform to help other people, and so um, you know, thank you for that, thank you for you know, continuing and and you must be so proud because of that too, you know, and I hope you know that you're going to be helping a lot of people. So thank you for doing what you do. And to helpe all the listeners go to wondermind dot com so you can get all the latest um stuff info when it starts officially launching. So thank you Mandy so much, thank you, thank you. Um Well, that was good. God. Parenting stuff is so hard, so hard. Since I'm it was an emotional train, I'll continue to train. I walked out to the bus stop. This is probably like a week or so ago, and one of the moms was like, are you okay? And I just started crying, and I was like, I just yelled so hard at Jolie that now I'm like, now she's gonna go to school and thinks she's like a bad ground and I apologize to her, but I was just so fed up. Jolian Jayson were like, you know, screaming and fighting with each other, and I was like stop because I was just like, couldn't like. I just was like and I felt awful, and they were just like, won't be the last time you do that? Nope? But I was like, I feel there, and not the last time you'll cry about it either. I cried pretty much every time I get mad at my good But we always tell people don't beat yourself up. Everybody knows that it happens all of us. But I'm as bad as anybody. I'm constantly beating myself up for that stuff. I think it's apologizing that's really important. I mean I did, and I grabbed her by her little face and I was like, Jolie, Mommy is so sorry, y'all. I was like, it just really like it frustrates mommy when you don't listen, and I just like, I'm so sorry because I don't do it a lot so when I do, they like, yeah, that's good because then they will apologize in the future when they make a mistake and they appreciate it. Maybe parenting you guys is so hard and I don't even want to, Like, your daughter's getting older, like all this stuff that you're telling me. Now, I'm like, my lord, like, it's just it's a lot. And then like Marx as a, they're big. The girls. The girls are going to give me an ulcer twelve, but not for much longer. Hous anxiety any better? Good? Actually, that's pretty well under control with the occasional flare ups but manageable. Thank you, very good. Yeah, that's good. I love to hear that. Well, I think that's an episode. Check check check, got the episode done? Um yeah, all right, Well I gotta do some Christmas shopping, so I gotta finish it up. I gotta overdo it and make everybody else feel guilty. I really don't like I'm about to get a year so spoiled. I'm like, I don't, actually, I just want Oh, it's not it's not at all that you're spoiled at all. Thank you, it's not at all. You just is from Amazon. It's fifteen people. It's not that, it's not about that, it's just, you know, got her Instagram for the link. Yes, thank you very much. Later she worked in earlier and I was like, nice boots, and she's like, I gotta from your page. I was like, they're right. They were like a hundred bucks swipe up and on all of it or link and everything else. Just tbd, tb D. I love you guys,