Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I heart radio podcast. Mike's back he and he has a cake, happy vasectomy cake in front of him, because apparently that's a thing now, vasectomy cake, You're the best tea. How do your balls feel? Bade happy vosectomy um? You know, a little tender show, but doing good. I'm physically wearing a jock strap right now, so true story. I just put down Joy for bed and I walked past our room and I see him in no joke, a jock strap which just looks like a male thong, and I was just like, what doesn't go around your butt any but it's still like so now you're like butt cheeks are all. But I was like, what are you wearing? And he's like, it's a jock strap And I was like, youtub boy is nice and tight. You gotta keep them here? Are you going to continue to wear a jock strap? Sects in my buddies? I was like, hey, this is kind of nice. Everything stays out of the way up and out of the way, hid and tight and just you know, then you just go about your business. I mean, that must be weird to have like snaggy stuff down there. Like when you're walking and stuff. Yeah, exactly, little empathy for the guy. You don't understand what we deal with with bat wings? What's up? Mike doesn't get them? Now they're wearing a jockstrap? Does it? Like the ball stick to your the side of your And I hate it. That's why I wear fairly tight briefs because of that drives me nuts, and I still deal with it. Don't you use baby powder? Because I always see Mike like poor, like a dozen that's a gallon of gold bond, more of a Johnson and Johnson's kind of guy. Oh, I need a female in here because it's just real male right now. After that Ladies episode last week, you talk about all those dreamy guys and potential hot nannies for women. Yeah, I was listening to podcasts. I didn't get through all of it yet, but I was listening to the part where Amy was talking about whatever Reynolds was, you know, your trainer or nanny or whatever. And Jane's just like I I. I I was like, yeah, hiding a little bit more. I know. I just couldn't, you know, come up with the words to properly say it's okay. I'll just said the same thing. If someone said one of those two guys was my trainer and nanny, I'd be like, I I so we'd have the same reaction. Oh man, speaking of all that stuff, though, I'm just gonna wrap that part up. Michael was like, what are you doing. I was like, I'm in like a war right now with hot nanny's all over the world. The hot nanny is unite even our nanny, and Nashville was like, is this something I need to be worried about? And then one of my other britt Britt, She's like, was I ugly? I was like, oh my god, yeah, it's like gritty. No. I was like, and I've literally had to text all our past nanny's and be like, you are beautiful. You are beautiful. I think you're beautiful. So I mean, really back for it. I mean a lot of times on the show, I like to I like to start conversations, and that's an interesting conversation in and but also because you know, what works for me might not work for everyone else. But apparently I was a very I was offending a lot of the hot nanny's saying, you know, I'm women in the workplace and they're getting It's just it was just the whole I was just very you know, and when you were bringing that to me and let me know when you're texting so uh, you know intently, it's finding like a d M war. And I'm not going to name her because I think she just wants the attention. Yeah, yeah, no, don't think about satisfaction. The thing is, when you're telling me about it, I'm like, it's just being professional, that's all it is. You wouldn't show up to any other job interview or post a picture for your resume, which you know some resumes nowaday people might put it like a picture. You don't. You wouldn't post a picture with your stuff hanging out. But here's where she says, but so because I have big boobs, Like that's just how you're discriminating women. I was like, no, I'm actually not discriminating. Like you need to dress for the part. If a guy wore hey, if he had a shirt off and he came to an interview profession or if he was you know, I mean, not even a shirt off, because like your boobs can show. But if you're wearing a lace literally nothing else, a barely tank top and like I just think you need to dress for the part. It's not about saying I don't think everything else. I don't know, Mark, what do you think? I agree, completely professional is the answer. You don't need to be in an apron and just a professional look is what we're looking for, because otherwise you might have ulterior motives. But but she was like, just because I have big boobs doesn't mean that I want to blah blah blah, and like my boobs might be flapping around because I wear and like that's fine. I'm just saying, like the first interview in meeting, I just think that you should dress more appropriately. Not but then are not There's still a way to dress professionally. It doesn't matter. Yeah, but what if I mean you have to talk with her. Let's say she dressed it professionally and you hire her, and then she shows up for work and after a couple of weeks she gets more comfortable and stuff, showing up in a crop top and jeane shorts, and all of a sudden we have to have a talk. Yeah, but I mean of our nannies, Like she had her boobs out a lot, and again it's fine, Like I was fine with it. Now I love pretending you're talking about I actually do who's the actor in this family? Thank you very much, But I don't care because she loved her kids. You know, at the end of the day, it's not about and she was beautiful, like it's I just was more trying to have a conversation about it. And it's not that I don't trust my husband. And it's not that I'm not for women's rights and letting boobs hang out. It's fine, but whatever. I can still have my opinion and still spark a conversation. But really, like the hot Nannies USA, um is, we'll have an issue. And to the point where I was fearful that we're going to lose the nanny we just hired in Nashville because I didn't want her to think that we thought she was ugly or because that's not the case. She's she's beautiful, she's right for our family, and she's going to love our kids, and that's what matters at the end of the day, because and here's what I was saying too, is at the end of the day, if my husband or if I'm going to cheat, we're going to cheat no matter what someone looks like end of the day, no matter what they're wearing, no matter how they dress, no matter what they look like. If you're going to cheat, you're gonna cheat. It's just removing like we've said numerous times on here, like Mark said, you know, putting the meat in the cage. But it's just removing scenarios. That's why it's like the whole concept of you can never say never really because under the right circumstance, who knows what people might do. Yeah, right, you're saying, like the analogy, we user, don't put meat in the lion's cage. But the truth is, if you're married to a lion, he's gonna find meat somewhere exactly. That's what I'm saying. If you're just gonna find it. I mean, you know, I look back on not to bring it up, but like something like they weren't pretty because it wasn't about them being pretty. It was about him meeting his needs, right, you know. That's well, that's that's that's another issue. So when somebody cheats, do you factor in whether or not they're better looking than you. I looked every single one of the women that he was with, and I was like honestly, majority of the time, from my personal experience and just experience in general, men cheat down. I have actually heard that as well, cheat down because I'm like, for the for the partner, for the woman. I can understand why that would be even more because then I could see in a in a woman's head if they try to justify somehow, well she is really pretty, you know, I could see the temptation. But when you cheat down, it's what is it? But that's what it's about. That's what I'm saying to the course, It's not about what someone looks like. If you're gonna cheat, you're gonna cheat. Why is that? Why do men cheat down? Because they don't? Are those the women that are available at at the moment the need arises? Are we gonna backlash on this or any of this affair is going to be like, oh, so you didn't think I was pretty? What his stupid question would have been easier if they were supermodels? Like, holy crap? Would you have said, well, I can't say I blame him, Um, it all sucks. Of course, it wouldn't have made much. I can't see that, but also could even hurt self esteem that much more. I will say, oh no, but it doesn't matter because for me, a lot of the women had like larger boobs, so my insecurity. So now I for probably a good year and a half after everything, I would make sure my boobs were up and more because I thought that's like what he wanted, because that's what I saw. But again it's actually I know, but you know what I mean, it was the what was like sex in that moment, blah blah blah whatever. But I think that's where us women go as we then start to compare and want to kind of morph into what they had, and it's so wrong because it's not about what they look like, how big their boobs are, anything like that. It's just filling a need for them. So anyways, we got a little off topic. But no, I mean that's a good topic, though, is that. I mean, it's really it's not a good topic, but it's a you know, conversational topic. Only men who have cheated say their mistresses were better looking than their wives. For women, they say that their husbands are often better looking, but their mistresses are usually in better shape. That does not surprise me, man, you start working out more, no, honey, because again, you know, that's not for me, and he knows this too. For me would be an emotional fair. That's where I would go if if we ever, you know, God willing, that doesn't ever happen. But I think God forbidness. God will say God forbid because that's where I that's where I can fall into. That's where I have to set healthy boundaries. I have found that my wife and I've been to get the twenty two years. If I cheated, and she's been clear about this from the beginning. If I cheat, it's over, really done, goodbye. But I feel like if she cheats on me, I feel like we could make it work because I feel like if she cheats, it's mean she's really not getting something she needs from me. I am not meeting a long list of needs for her to go elsewhere, because she is not the type to just be like to just jump on somebody else. We're men are jumpers sometimes, you know, men will just give it. Yeah, we're women. It's more of a deep emotional thing. And maybe that's sexist, and I'm sorry if it's stereotypical, but I do feel like if she were to cheat, it's if I cheat, it is my fault. If she cheats is my fault. Yeah, we are joined now, but Katie prevents you on to the managing director of Westside Nanny's. Oh god, are you serious? Really? Yeah, Katie is her name. There we go. I don't guess. I think this is kind of last minute. Hello. Hi, Hi, Hi Katie. How are you good? How are you great? I hear you're talking about hot nanny n Wrap it up, but I guess we'll start. So you own a nanny agency. I do. I own west Bide Nanny. We're based in Los Angeles, so we work with families primarily here in Los Angeles area, but also across the country of Native So. I guess one of the main backlashes I had was I was talking about because we were trying to find a nanny and we used one of the website nanny's uh outlets, and I had made a comment about how they had like the perky boobs up and you know that the wives are hiring. And I got major backlash because people are like, well, women are like, you know, I have boobs and I should be able to show my boobs. And what my husband and I are saying is we just think that for an interview you should be a little bit more professional. Well, I would agree with you. Um, and we see those pictures too, you see amazed at what Danny sending a they're applying for a job. But I think for us it's not about whether someone has boots or not. I mean we all do right, Um, It's about good judgment and dolth awareness and professionalism and how you're presenting yourself for a job. And I think those things are two very different things. So it's not that of this nanny is hot, you know about the turn off, it's that, well, if she chose to use the photo of herself to apply professional job, any job, whether it be a nanny draw or another that shows a lack of good judgment and and good judgment is really important when you're hiring unanityes. I agree. Have you ever had any wives like say, you know what, what's around that? Like what if they are a dressed in appropriately? Like do you talk to them? Or how does that work? Well? We get requests, you know, every every single day from moms, and you'd be for price requests go both ways. I mean for every request that we have from a mom that told us, you know, I don't want someone too pretty. Um. We also get the request to hear the way around where a parent will say, hey, we need it to fit in at the country club or go to the star sided events and not be an outsider, or you know, we don't want a nanny as overlate, or we don't want this or that. We even had a mom recently tell us that, you know, my three year old seems to be more attractive to blonde. So it's like a blonde nanny. I mean, we hear it all, um. But our response to that, of course, is you know, those things shouldn't matter. Um. First of all, they protect the characteristics. You actually can't discuss any basted about when someone looks like or the color of their skin or any of those things. But it really comes down to is someone a great nanny? And that comes down to experience references, education of personality and why they really want to work in this field. So I have a question, Katie, and this you know again I'm trying to I feel like maybe this this field, like nanny, is a little bit more personal because of the interaction and the relationship. Right, So it's a little bit more personal person and unconnected. Um, but still like for any job out there, you know, you gotta address the part. You gotta be professional, and the employer can hire whoever they want, and they might have there, you know, kind of mindset on the kind of person they want, down to the fact of maybe how they look or how they present themselves and so on. So when it comes to something like nanny, I mean, I feel like people still have the right to, I guess, ask those questions and make those requests right. They can ask them right, and a lot of times they're they're going after the wrong thing. And what we try to do is really refrain that to be something that's positive when we're not going to discriminate based upon those factors, but we do really want to understand what the family is cooping for, um, what are the qualities that they're looking for, and what is leading to that request. UM. But I think you brought up a good point that I really want to touch on. What you said, This is a really small job. It's you know, it's different than your everyday job. And I would agree with you, um to an extent. I think that that's where a lot of problems happen is because parents you feel like, oh, this is my home. You know, this is so personal, it is your personal job, and so boundaries can sometimes fall to the wayside, and that's practice on the nanny's and that's also on the parents end. And all I think parents don't totally realize or comprehend, which is something you try to educate our clients about. Is the moment you hire a nanny, you become a workplace. So you get may be your home, but it's her workplace, and so you have to have boundaries too. So that means you know, you guys can be walking around in your underwears if what we're your own home like you or someone's workplace, so you kind of have to have some boundaries um for your own home too. And then you can absolutely have her head boundaries as well. So for example, there is appropriate address credit work like dranny should not be wondering your own inn hop can serviceni. That's not appropriate for the workplace. And so the nanny you will hire, they are role models for your children, So you can't have boundaries and you should um. Just like nanny shouldn't really be talking about her date last night or her night clubbing on sideday, you also shouldn't be talking about the fight you just had with your spouse or you know, any kind of those personal things. It does need dreaming, professional and really about the kids. I have a question at a very good point, by the way, I love all of that, when it comes to healthy eating habits. What if I'm not not saying, you know, we don't know what um we we just hired a new nanny Nashville, but we've had a previous nanny. We're just eating habits weren't that good? And I I've seen it. Maybe how does that? How do I say that reflect now on our daughter what she might think a snack is, And how do we how do we say without hurting the nanny's fault and being like, hey, you know, this is what we need to feed our child in the house, and you know we're not going to go to donut shops and that's just right. And and in particular, what Janna is trying to beat around the bushes say that nanny is a little bit more of a weight, which there's no discrimination here, but maybe they're eating habits aren't very healthy. But we want to make sure that our kids are experiencing the eating habits that we want for them, and that Jana and I practice. Sure. I think it just comes back to your the job that you're hiring someone for, UM, And really whether or not a nanny's overweight or not doesn't mean she can't UM teach your children about nutrition and cook healthy meals for them. And so it's less about her own eating habits and more about what you need in your role. And so I think when you're interviewing nannies and it sounds like you hired someone, but if you were interviewing with us, we would say, talked to everyone about that in the interview, talked about how nutrition has a foreign to your family, and talk then talked about what that looks like. You know, if you get this job, you know these are good things we'd like to cook. I'd like you to be able to cook, cooking and healthy meals that are well rounded them coping men when you're working. Here's partaking the meals that you cook as well. But we just want to show them as demonstrates help the eating house to the kids. Which I'm a mom too, that's super important UM and definitely a point that I talked about with my own mammy. So I think just again reframing it it's not about them. They're not causing anyone paying or the other. It's what they're going to do in their role and what do you expect on the job, and your nanny should be able to fulfill those Absolutely, I love that. And one more question before we wrap up, Katie. Janna and I we've had a few nannies in the past and we had a tendency where we would hire somebody we kind of had a prior relationship with that started more of a friend. So definitely we had an issue with the kind of the boundaries and that, like you talked about like our house in a workplace, and we've tried to you know, we have a new nanny in Los Angeles. We just hired a new one for Nashville when we moved back there, and we really made a point to touch on the things that you're talking about and be you know, on the front end, kind discuss the things that we've learned that we need or want them, you know, for our kids to be exposed to and so on. What kind of advice though, because Jane and I are very personable, very affectionate people who we want people, whether they work for us or not, we want them to feel comfortable. We want them to feel kind of like part of the family and and talk to us about life in general, because we just love talking and hearing about their life and we want, you know, them to to to be willing to share and everything like that. So what advice would you give, you know, people like Jan and I who have a hard time ourselves kind of sticking to those boundaries of employee or employee employer relationship. I think it can be hard. I think it's something that like everyone struggles with us, to be honest, and it it's it's a fine line that you need to figure out exactly where it is for you. But I do think that you know the way to start off a new relationship. UM, and I would encourage you, just just for the nanity just hired us to have what we call it a work agreement. But it's a contrast unless we really stout and I'm this is what we expect of you, and this is what we're going to give you in return. And you know, you need to keep paying your nanny legally, you need to make sure that she has UM you know that's just treated like a professional as well. UM, And then I think you will get that back, but really putting out your expectations and then maintaining that I think sometimes feel like, oh, she's just part of the family, and yes, that's true, but I think again those boundaries can go out the window. Oh she's just part of the family, Well, she wouldn't mind working on her day off, or she wouldn't mind doing this and that, and everything gets a little fuzzy. And I think that you do, as much as you want to much to feel part of the family, you can't feel that way. I think back to a great job you have where you really have an afit be towards your employer and we're it felt like a great fit, but you still knew it was the job and it's still professional. And I think that goes both ways. And so if families will set up a contract in the beginning, paint out the expectations, pay their nanny legally and professionally, you know, give her vacation, and make it feel more like a job for her, I think that goes a long way in making sure that that behavior is also models back. And you just can't talk about everything that you would naturally, some things need to be reserved for you know, the bedroom when you have an employee working in your home because you just you just can't talk about everything as you would if no one was there. Yeah, boom, well, thank you so. And what's the name of your agency again in l A, Well, what's side Nanny west side Nannies? Be happy to hope. Thank you so much. We really appreciate it. You're welcome, good luck. That was really good advice. It was you're scared at first, I have to discuss more n any stuff. I was just because I'm so terrified that our new namey is gonna listen to this. And I don't want her to quit because I really like I quit before she starts, because I really like her. It's not about beauty, though, it's about It's about like you could have a lovely nanny, but there are certain women that might be more I don't know. Putting it out there, like we said before, it's not saying that you can only hire but ugly nanny is that's nonsense, all right. So I mean, regardless, someone's gonna take this the wrong way. I didn't realize that no matter what I say, someone's going to be offended by something that I say. Always your public figure. But it's frustrating because and then everyone's like, why are you why do you comment on the negative? Because I really don't want to offend people. That's not no. But you don't have a problem stirring up, which I love because not a lot of people, you know, so many people are too politically correct. Yeah, and don't call it like to see it. Well, I don't know. I just I don't like to ever offend anyone. So well, that's that's their own issue for taking offense. So before we talk onto the next before we go to the next subject, we're going to take a quick break. Open if it takes all the complexity out of losing weight and getting fit. So it's a brand new, super simple streaming service that allows you to work out from the comfort of your living room. There are so many amazing trainers and classes. Open Fit classes are led by some of the most effective and engage trainers in the world, Sculpture Body with someone like Andrea Rodgers who's a founder of the worldwide Sensation extend Bar. So it's super simple forget all the complexity and stress around getting fit and just press play and work out on your schedule. So open Fit has changed the way I work out, and with our code Janna, you can join me on a fitness journey, personalized just for you no matter how many seconds in the day that you have. You can find open Fit again, use their code Janna and start using open fit for your journey to a healthier life right now. During the open Fit thirty Day Challenge, our listeners get a special extended thirty day free trial membership to open Fit where you can lose up to fifteen pounds in thirty days. When you text Joanna Tott, you will get full access to open Fit, all the workouts, nutrition information, totally free. So again, just text Janna to So. I feel like we are in the movie um, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, where Kate Hadson's character says, I want to talk about something meaningful. Sometimes when we get these breakdowns about some of the topics for the show. For some of the shows, Mike's like, I want to talk about politics, and well, it's just funny because you get some of these things, some of the hot topics in society at the moment, and some of it just seems so petty and you're just like, really, this is what we're talking about and having a platform like this. You know, I made the joke to Jane. You realize you do want to talk about things that are meaningful, and we want that for our listeners because they can go read about like we're about to talk about Danny Amndola and Olivia Copo for a minute, that whole situation. So people, there's a million other places people can go. They can read any tabloid magazine, they can go Alige and see any article. Don't come here to We don't want them to come here to listen to that. We're gonna give our two cents in a minute. We're gonna talk about it right now. So regardless, we're gonna talk about it right now because just in case if you do want the hot topics. So I don't really know. Apparently they broke up. He wrote this long instagram you still have a cough? By the way, how do you okay? Um? It's a long instagram about her? Would you like to preface some of this? Man? I mean, look from my point of view, people who have followed this know what he said on on Instagram. And then the fact that he well he basically said miscommunication my ass. He he said what he said he was either drunk or just angry and typed away. And here's the deal. I don't understand they've been on and off for a couple of years or whatever it is. I don't know their whole history, but Olivia Coppo has clearly been a climber. She's dated I am. I look at her dating history. She's dated Tim Tebow, She's dated Ryan Lockey, she dated Nick Jonas, she dated Danny, she dated now she's talking to you know Z and who else? I mean, the list goes on and on. Are you saying she's famous for dating um celebrities? What else is think? I will say, just to defend that point in his thing, Danny said that she got upset that he wouldn't post a lot about her, So clearly she wanted to be with him to be like, oh, I'm, you know, with this football player, which then makes sense to your point. But who knows because we don't have her side of the story. But I can see why you think that she's a social climber. I mean her, how can she just she just happened to date all these famous people. Well you're running those circles, right, And yes, I understand that when you're in those circles, the people they introduce you to is probably someone of celebrity as well. But I mean, what is the fact that he said, you know, she's she was always upset for me for not posting about her on the page, which you know, whether he's more private, that's fine, but clearly she didn't. She doesn't want the privacy. She wants to be more out there in the celebrity will say any relationship, whether it's a public one like this or even a private one of people who aren't celebrities, there's some people that you know, are like, hey, why aren't you posting about me? Why why aren't you posting a picture on Facebook or social media. It's so regardless of celebrity or not, I've experienced and seeing people like that where they want to be, you know, part of your life more and post more and all that. Some people are more private, but let's spin it because some people don't post because they probably want to look available, oh for sure. So I know there's some people that they're like, oh, well, he's a he's an artist and he doesn't need to post a photo of me, And it's like, uh, guy, artists don't need to have that persona that's so out the window. It's not even funny. He's not just posting you because of that. No one wants to look available for not the right reasons. If anything, record label or or TV show is not going to hire a guy because he has a girlfriend or a wife. If anything, I feel like nowadays people are becoming more marketable because of a relationship they have, except for maybe some of these reality stars who can find themselves in the public more frequently if they're dating somebody new, like if they're sheer real daters. I e. Olivia Colpo, But I mean it's just like who cares. I will say it's harder for women, though, I mean they there's so many times where I felt like I had to look available because you know, someone might not hire you, which is so screwed up. And I'm glad it's changing. But I can see for the girl how it can be hard. But for the guys, I'm like, guys have it like so easy. Why because it's fine if you have a girlfriend or a wife. I mean, look at all the country artists and celebrities. They don't need to have that magnet. You're still you're still a magnet. You're still like a magnet even if you have a relationship. But so you're saying a girl, a female artist isn't as for sure. I had to hide in the very beginning. I had to hie that I didn't have a boyfriend because I was supposed to look more available. That was something that was verbally told to me by my first manager. What I don't understand about that is but a guy could have a relationship. What I don't understand is country fans. I mean what I would love to know the ratio of female to male primarily female? Yah? Right, So why would it? Why would it matter? It's just the old skew thinking, right, Yeah, that's all it is. It's anyway, this whole, this whole situation. I don't want to spend any more time on it. It's let's take a break. Yeah alright. So I honestly loathe perfume shopping. I don't know, I just feel like it's super overwhelming and I don't want to commit to a two bottle. And I feel like anytime I've gotten you something i've missed. Well, no, I like the one thing you got me. But I don't know. With Sunford, it's super easy because you can basically, okay, I'll say this, there's more than fo designer brands for you to choose a perfumer clone for each month. So basically you can do tom Ford, Gucci, Versacchi and it's good for a month, so you don't have to commit to the big bottle. That's the thing. Like Mike, I liked what you've gotten me, but I just feel like I don't know if I want to commit to like the juicy smell, like the entire life. Because the Centered, we can just choose the perfume that you want to try and they'll send it, send a thirty day supply that has sprays in it. Yeah, it's so great. So I mean that's basically like a month for me. Um it's enough to apply more than four times daily for months. So with an exclusive offer just for our listeners, you can get off your first month today. That's only seven fifty for your first fragrance. So you go to Center dot com slash Janna and use our code Janna for off your first month. Again, that's Cent bered sc E N T B I r D dot com slash janna for you to try out your first perfume or cologne for just seven dollars and fifty cents. Sign on and smell amazing. Interesting topic. Did you know actually that the benefits of your husband's gas can help you live longer? So the study found that the stinky um byproduct most wise hate, could actually reduce the risk of cancer, heart attacks, strokes, arthritis, and dementia. According to other research, marriage is an important factor affecting the survival of heart attack patients too, which means even if you're already suffered um health issues, his finest farts could actually keep you alive, kicking and sharp. I mean, that is the silliest thing I've ever read. We're just reaching, man, society. Society is just reaching to find anything. Yeah, to to your fart will give me a longer life. That's gonna be. Yeah, you're welcome. I'm gonna start saying you're welcome instead of excuse me and say honey, you're welcome every time, every time, every time. Fart. Now you're welcome. Here's a longer life. Let me put out the article that proves I'm saving your life right here. We're a lot of emails today. I would love to Victoria has a question about your tattoos, Mike, She says, I love listening to your podcast and following Joanna on social media and through Joanna's videos on Instagram. I have seen the slow progression of Mike's tattoos. Is there a story or a reason and Mike's decision to pick some of the tattoos he did, is there a significance in getting them? In this time of Mike's self reflection? Thank you all so much for all you guys do and talk about. No, I just like him, No, No, I'm just kidding. No, Victoria. Um, yeah, there is significance to everything. Um, it's a word. It's a sleeve, in in in, in progress to process. Um, it's gonna be a full sleeve. And everything I have is meaningful. Um, you know. And then people who have seen I have both kids handprints on my forearm with clocks in the time that they're born. Um, which the tattoo artists screwed it up. Oh no, he put the wrong time, but the wrong tel you put because you kind of do the clock like sideways and you put four oh six as opposed to four oh one. Yeah, she's only off by a few minutes. It's still it's not the actual date or the time that our daughter was born. Yeah, that's why I go to a new artist now. And then he also has a face. But it's all about like everything means something. So the trees mean what trees are like fourth rightness, honesty, um, you know, which is how I'm trying to live my life nowadays, and everything. And then the roses is simple for new beginnings, which, as you guys know, Jane and I are having. And then I have Jane's beautiful face on my shoulder, but right now I look like a six year old man because it's not finished. So there's that. And then he's, you know, got kind of hairy arm. So I'll look at my face and I'll be like, I have a hair growing out of my chin. I have to pull my hair chins anyways, but now I have to pull my hair chins off my face on your arm every time I take my shirt off. And it was like, can you please next session work on my face? Didn't get that done because I want to look more pretty. We see that because I'm curious or is it not? You don't want to show it till it's done. I look like a six year old woman on his arm doesn't look that bad. It does. Let's see here we go, it's coming off. The shirt is coming out. Sleep Instagram stories like yeah, sleepless t shirt on under it, so it'll be oh wow, oh wow, I think it's lovely. What so they gonna add color to it or what are they gonna have no color? But he's got a shade it to make it look more vibrant and make it pop and just don't so it doesn't look so aged. And what is she doing in that picture because it looks like her eyes are closed. I'm I'm praying. Well, I thought maybe you were like singing into a microphone from the original picture they took it from. No that, I don't know why why they closed my mass because I have it was kind of a mix between this inspirational picture that I have, Uh that's not Janna, and then of a tattoo and then a picture of Janna. So we're kind of marrying the two together. Um, but tattoo artist he ended up changing because he didn't like the tattoo artists guy. So now we have a new one and that's more expensive, and the new one has to finish the old ones work because it's a weird conflict in the tattoo world. Yeah, oh definitely. Um. I mean when I went into this shop, which is a well known shop in Los Angeles. I mean, the guys I talked to first, we're like, are you willing to get any of that lasered off? And I looked into it and that would have been like thirty dollars to four grand and would take like two and a half years. So I'm like, I'm good. So, I mean, because it works, not bad, it's just not as creative as I had hoped on something and to give them a clean, you know, canvas, canvas um. But this guy has been great that I'm working with. And the Bang Bang, I hear good things about Bang Bang. It's not Bang Bang. But this guy is great that I'm working with, and he's been willing to kind of take what I already have and make it better. Hey, do you want to read the email from Ashley interesting? Ashley says, I just recently ended my four year relationship and engagement with my partner because he has a sex and porn addict. It's been almost two months, and I find myself doubting my decision a lot. He did tell me in the beginning that he was an addict and he was in counseling. At the time, I was pretty naive to what a sex addict was and honestly never thought he would do anything to hurt me. But over the four years, he stepped out of our relationship twice, received inappropriate photos, had inappropriate conversations, and was consistently active watching porn. Through this time, he would be in and out of counseling in groups. The most recent boundary he crossed was messaging a girl he frequently sees the gym and complimenting her inappropriately on her body. I was tired of putting myself back together. I called off our wedding, which is only which was only a few months away, and moved to another state. But lately I find myself doubting my decision. How do you feel confident in knowing that something you can do that sucks? I think doubting yourself is the worst thing. But I if you can say that you've tried everything, then I think that's easier to not doubt yourself. So I knew that I would always doubt myself to be like, what do you have? Would would Mike have changed, and I would never have known that if I didn't try now again, if Mike knows that, if he steps out, or you know, we're done because there's so much I can personally take physically personally, like I I, there's only so much like we we can handle. And so if it continues to happen, even though I know that Michael is an addict and there's that possibility, he has to do his work of staying in recovery and staying in his boundaries and in his work. So if it was happen me leaving, I could rest knowing that I did everything I could possibly do. So you might be having that doubt because maybe somewhere inside you you don't think that you maybe fought as hard as you should have. So maybe that's where the doubt is coming from. Because I would have had that same doubt if I divorced Mike when I found out about everything, I would have had that doubt, being like I wonder if he could have changed, I wonder if we could have made it work. I think he did the work. I think it's hard for people in general to think back on something and really be confident knowing that they gave it everything they have. I feel like it's easy for people to justify it. Well, maybe I could have done a little bit more. I don't I disagree with you, because if you did something right now, I would divorce you and then been like I did everything and saying you don't. I'm just saying I feel like some people it's easy, especially in the aftermath after some time has passed, like you made the decision, you're lonely and you're contemplating, right, and you're just kind of like, well, did I did I really do everything? You know? And I mean I know I do that in my life, whether my football career, other things. I'm like, did I work as hard as I could? And then I try to remind myself Yeah, yeah, I did, you know. But it's still hard, especially with something that was so meaningful for you, whether it's a relationship with it's a job, no matter what it is. I mean, you know. She says that at the beginning of the relationship, he disclosed to her that he wasn't addict. Now it is four years ago, so you know, the biggest reason we've been able to reconcile and continue to make this work is because you've seen change we both have in ourselves and in one another and in our relationship. So after four years, she's not seeing that change, and he's still doing things like that, he's clearly not doing the work, whether he's in groups or going to meetings. If he's still doing that, he's not really in recovery. So I mean, I think that answers her question, you know, Yeah, and hopefully you can rest in that knowing because if he's not doing the work and staying active recovery, then that's going to be impossible for you to continue on a healthy relationship together. So you can just be like, all right, like he couldn't do the work and you tried. Yeah, that's that's my twosons. Clearly, was that a spur of the moment decision four years? Right? It's not four years? Yeah, And good on you for for making that hard decision, you know, a few months before the wedding, and you're the point you brought up, I think is the key point of this is don't confuse doubts with loneliness, because if you moved to another state, you're spending a lot of time by yourself, I assume, and so you're missing him and that's normal. That doesn't mean that you made a mistake here exactly. And also the second that you do find someone else, you're going to be like, oh wow, okay, so yeah. I never realized it could be like oh yeah yeah. Um. Kristen's email is interesting as well. I've never heard this issue before. I can honestly state I'm really struggling in my marriage right now. My husband's sister has this weird obsession with him, and she's constantly needing him help for anything and everything. She's extremely clinging to him, and from the outside looking in, she actually she's his wife. The last straw was when she went and had a boudoir photo shoot and sent him her own brother the pictures, asking him what he thought. He agrees that wasn't right, but he won't tell her that she's too clinging obsessive with him. I know where to go from here. I've tried to talk to him about it, but nothing ever comes. If it please helps, I want to know where they're from here. Can Can someone explain to me exactly a boudoir? I think it's a linger is shoe basically, yes, it's a lingerie shoe, but it's you typically done for your partner, right, it's done. Maybe you're engaged, maybe you're about to have a baby, maybe you want your thinking of having a baby, so you want to kind of preserve things. It's something for your I think it's usually a gift for your partner. It's not, although Tanya was considering doing it just for herself. I know what I'm getting Mother's Day? Do I train inslates to women's private dressing room on Francie, So what's the meal version locker room? So she took lingerie photos of herself. I don't think they're too revealing. I don't think they're typically nude photos. No, they're just like real, like stringy. Her own brother. You never oh gosh, like I love my brother, but I would never send him. I would throw up in my mouth. I mean, if tera sent you launder, not because she's not beautiful. Is gorgeous, but no, I can't even I don't even know how to answer this because I I can't relate to it. I think that's no, she's right, it's wrong. Well, and he thinks it's wrong too, right, he needs to stop weirdo. She's not doing it. She keeps bringing it up, but nothing ever comes of it. That's just weird. Well, I mean, do you think like maybe they have feelings for each other? Stop? I mean, this is is that happening? Game throw you know what I'm saying. I don't watch Game of Thrones, um, but I mean you never know. I mean there's if I sent lingerie photos to my brother Steve, he would be like, what the f is wrong with you? That's disgusting? Right, So, but because he's not saying anything, maybe he's got the Hotspur's sister. Should Kristen go directly to the sister and have a talk with her or does that just blow it all up? If he If her husband can't, then I would she said to her husband, I need you to address this. And if you don't know, yes, great advice, come to Mike and Janna and Mark, Mike, Jane and Mark and we'll give you and then easton for any Uh what's that called? What you just did? Translation tips? Oh my goodness, let's take a break. Oh, I have a fun game we can play. Okay, So Mike and I like to do this thing. I don't know if it's actually a smart thing to do, but we've been able to kind of talk about our issues in a funny way. Again, don't listen to us. This might not work this and it might not be Yeah, this might not be therapeutic. But sometimes it will say to him, if there's something bothering me, I'll say, tell me one thing that I'm doing that bothers you. So then I can then tell him the one thing that has about bothering me. So it's just a good way to not be passive in you know, in conversation, but also learn something that maybe I might be doing that's annoying him. So let's play the game right now, Darling. Is there anything that I'm doing that is bothering you lately? Oh? What what you did yesterday? Oh? Yeah? So, so Jane goes, we had we brought this leather out from our garage into the house because we wanted to clean it and then like we needed to finish it and everything because we want to move back to Nashville. We want to where we are we are, okay, and so basically we need some some you know, stuff to refinish the couch and we get the wrong stuff. So jan is like, all right, well do you mind researching so you can find like what you want to use. I was like, yeah, I'll I'll research it. I'll research it. And then she's as she says that, she's like looking on her phone. She's like, well, here's one. She's like, actually, you just research I'm like, yeah, I told you, I'll research it. Two minutes later, she's like, you know what, I'm just gonna get this one. It says it's the best on Amazon, like I'm just gonna get it. And I'm just like okay, I'm like what what Why did you tell me to research it? And I told you I'll take care of it when you're just gonna do it right now, like because I well, first fault, Oh, I'm sorry that that bothers you. And then then her text message as I'm leaving the house to run an air and with Jolie Danna goes, oh you have to say was thank you. I'm just like, all you have to do is say thank you. I can't tell you how many times I picked up my phone and put it back down on my way to and from the house, but I was I was trying to go buy our own advice and take take a breath and pause because everything I wanted to say was just childish, and you know, but I handled it, and I handled it in a timely fashion, and I knew I got the best thing. But thank you. Here's the kicker, though, she said. When I was walking out the door, She's like, well, after he already gave me atitude, because I was just like, why would you do that? She goes, well, I would have done it faster and better than you anyway, as I'm walking out the door. Uh, And I was just like, okay and just walked out. So he should thank you for you taking away an assignment you gave to him in the first place. So Mark, I understand. Explain again, the man's timeline is very skewed. Okay, So in those two minutes I was able to find the best product and order the best product. Now, that would have taken him two hours on the computer searching, and mind you, it wouldn't have been that day. It would not have because research implies a certain amount of effort in time. But then I realized, sometimes with Michael, his timeline is very different than my timeline. And this is what Michael would have done to mind you, The only reason he brought it inside was because on his checklist it was like clean the leather chair. This would be Mike. In about three weeks in our moving truck comes, it still wouldn't have been cleaned, and he'd go, you know, let's just sell it. Let's just get word of what you do, because you just don't prioritize properly. What Okay, I'm sorry that cleaning this couch was on the top of our priority list of all the other things that we're doing right now. But a lot of times you'd just say, get rid of it. You were about to throw away a four dog bed because you don't want to, but you didn't. You take it to the damn dry cleaners, Mike, take it to the you know. But it's well that get taken to the out of spite. We had this conversation the other day. I said, yep, I'm going to laundry, Matt. I'm gonna sit there for two hours where everything washes and drives. But in his mind, he's like, just get rid of it. And in my mind, I'm like, no, we can fix it, we can wash it. But I apologize. I just feel like sometimes Mark, and come on, you know that the wives can do things a little bit faster, but so then stop asking me to do this that right, and don't when you're like I have to do everything. No, no no, no, no no, But I just I was able to Mark that I need a woman. Well no, I'm just this isn't me beating up Michael or anything like that. This is just a woman can do things faster and on a better timeline and get it done sooner. So in that moment, I wasn't being like, oh I need I have one more thing I got to put on my plate. That was just something where Okay, I found something better and it's the best thing and it arrives tomorrow. I can't tell you how much I'm hoping that it's completely wrong. What the leather thing Amazon number one best selling. It's the thank you? That why. It's like I used didn't play this out with me. I need you to go get my car washed for me. It's really doring. I just don't have time today. Can you do that for me? Okay? You know what, Actually I'll do it myself. You're welcome for me time. You're missing the point, Mark, It was something for him for me. The letter, it was your job to do that. You said you were going to clean the leather couch, so I was getting that for you. So that's so you did You did the example wrong, Mark, okay, so would you like to retry that? Mind you? Let me just say this. The reason I'm still wearing a jockstrap a week after my second name is because on Sunday, four days after my surgery, as any of my very intensive surgery, oh to talk about what happened, no couch, which caused me to get black and blue on my way, and Jolie kept going, is it heavy? Is it heavy? Daddy? I'm here, I'm hearying this like giant love seat chair by myself on my back like a turtle in a shell, and Jolie is just underneath my feet looking up at me. Is it heavy? Heavy? Day? Heavy? Mind you though? He's like, Babe, I gotta take a thirty minute up thirty minutes And I said, Babe, go lay down. You did so much today and I didn't. You didn't even have to do any of that, like I was being so nice. Yeah, because I was. I was productive. So there's nothing she could say because I love I love productive, Mike. I love it. It makes me so happy. So he takes a nap and then you wake up and what do you see? Remember? Are you serious? The house? Oh yeah, I went to go take a nap. I couldn't really sleep because I heard furniture dragging and noises dranking right outside our bedroom. I come out. Our living rooms completely rearranged. I mean, couches and chairs on the opposite sides of the room, playplace, toys are all on. But how does it look? Looks amazing minutes. That's a great one. I mean, I just that was you know, the dragon. The furniture out of the bedroom door and he's napping is fantastic. The vacuum wasn't working. Yeah, so I get this game. You asked him if anything is bothering him about you, which enables you to not only give him one of your own, it allows you to ridicule his thing and show him why he's wrong. So what is your thing? What? But the whole of the second I was gonna say what's your thing? For him? Even though you kind of won that whole, I didn't win any Hang, you didn't win anything, but you kind of you know, I did go offensive. Oh my god, here come the comments. Jenna is so mean to like, No, we just play around a lot. But I just I think a lot of women. No, I think a lot of women. That's just again, there are timelines are different than a man's timeline, and for us it's just easier to do it ourselves. Okay, then don't complain if you do it. I didn't complain one. I'm saying in general, I gotta do everything well because we kind of doll yourself. What bothers you about Mikero was that it? Um? I mean, that's one of the things. But um, I will say, you leave and the mind's a lot smaller. You went, real big issue. But I don't like the fact that you leave Jason's dirty diapers either in the like you left his wet, very wet, dirty diaper this morning in his crib put in trash. Okay, I forgot that one. No, but then you always left him in the pack and play so annoying. Okay, because you've never left, I've clearly got off. Never you never leave diapers in there usually. Actually, I don't you know what else bothers me? Oh my god, this is not how the game we're trying to show our listeners, how we have better conversation. Were so after but usually by the way, how it happens is I'll say like, hey, he's like, I don't like it when you put the steak knives in the dishwasher, and I'd be like, oh, I'm sorry, I'll make sure to handwash them. And then I'll say I don't like how you leave your shoes right there, and he just says, oh, I'm sorry, but I'll make I'll do better with that. That's usually how it goes. It doesn't go like this. We're showing a very terrible example of us both being very offensive. He got his ball rolling. We're going so after j SATs, he should stay a little inclined. He shouldn't lay flat on his back. So thirty minutes, thirty minutes, okay, after I found him this morning, I had to take a big old okay, so I needed to put him down, right, You can put him down in his raw her that's inclined, okay, all right, that bothers you. Well, stop burping him and having his spit up go all over the couch. And we're getting rid of that carpet, you see, we're getting rid of that. You'd like act like you would bring that into the new house if I got it nicely cleaned. Yes, Oh whereould you put it in the living room? Oh but wait, she wouldn't because our designers didn't say that that rugs should go in the house. So if they didn't say it should, then it didn't belong there. Oh boy, this is a fun episode. This is strange. Can someone say, like, poor Janna, how in what way? Okay, all right, if you can ask me what bothers me about the two of you? Yeah, oh my god, I would love to hear that doing this, But I have nothing that bothers me about you. Well, thank you very much. That's sweet, that one little thing. Yeah, I would love it. We do a podcast for an hour a week. If we get through that hour without you guys eating, that would be really pleas I was really hungry, trust me, I know, I'm sorry I was. I was so hungry. I get so hungry. Can you can you hear anything like you can? Yeah? It's a pet peeve of mine personally. I don't know if it's the listeners. Notice that they may not pick up on it at all because we do something that is um, what yogurt like soft? Yeah, so maybe they wouldn't notice, but it's something that bothers me, appreciate, appreciate feedback, all right, absolutely, and we will respect that you guys are in here multiple hours today as we're in here in your home for one hour once a week. Respect the workplace. I think that's going to wrap it up, alright, guys. That was a great show that was all over the place.