Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. It is a hot topic holiday episode. I get excited for current events. This is I don't. I actually felt that come over me when I read it. But you know why I don't love hot topics. I do know why. But would you like to share that you can share? Why do you think I don't like hot episode? Swimming? Last time? It went so swiftly? Last time? Did it go so swiftly? Escalated swiftly? Oh? This is Tara Reid filling in for Kristin bruston wind Down. Oh? But yeah, I made this joke in front of two sweet twenty somethings. I like, who's Tara Reid? I go, you guys, is this so Tara Reid's a good twenty or two thousand and five or something? And they both like looked at me, and I was like, y'all have no idea who Tara Reid is? Do you? And they were like no, did I tell you the time? Christine? I remember seeing her to club one time, like we grew up with Tara Reid. Yeah, she was like our girl. She was. Is she doing now? I don't know. When I googled her, I found this interview because I was trying to explain it to them. It hurts me, so can you just let her it does doesn't hurt, No, it doesn't hurt. This is actually the best it sounded. And legend Brost is living for the fact that I don't have a voice. Really, Oh he loves it. Why because I'm usually the one that's putting the like Escully did voice, got it okay? But that it does knock? Yeah? Sorry. So I googled her to see what is Tara doing now? And all I found is this really sad, slurry interview that she did. I know, and it wasn't I don't feel like it was that long ago. I don't know, but I was like, oh, Tara, you know, Hollywood's hard, it is, I know, you know, well not really like I don't know, like you know more than I do. Sure, but yeah, well that's a bummer. Yeah, but we're happy to have you here. Yeah, we're missing kitt KitKat Is. She is at the doctor's office right now with her daughter because everyone and their daughter has the flu. That's correct, So that's that's a bummer. Miss. We miss our little KitKat. But we are going to have a hot topic, show chat about the holidays, anything else that's going on. Why I don't like these usually is because it can become a little click baity a little and that scares me because, you know what, one of the things that I've been that I've tried to well, that I that I worked on this year was what how do I say this? Was? And I kind of talked about this a little bit on one of my last episodes, was about opinions and having opinions and like what does my opinion actually? Like? Why do I even have to have an opinion? Correct? Right? So? And then what do I want my opinion to be? Like when I speak? Do I want it to be an opinionion? Like? What level of because we all have an opinion, right, so it's and when we share it, how do we want it to come out? And so sometimes I think when I have shared my opinion, it might not come out the way that I would either a want it to or be. Why would I need to have that certain kind of opinion? Well, I also think it's worth noting that there is And I had to have a pleasant discussion with one of your listeners at one point because she our listeners. She wrote to me about me on accident, Oh Angela, oh no, and I had to remind her that there is a show flow, that there are things that we are given as ideas of topics. Yes, that what is the point of me actually being here if I don't say anything? Ever? Right, it's a podcast, right, isn't it? You know? Yeah? So anyways, it's worthy admiring if everyone agreed on it. So like I tell the girls, hey, like, if you disagree, disagree, because no one wants to listen to something where everyone's like yes absolutely, yes, as sure for sure, Like and if you don't agree with me, say you don't agree with me? Can I get Can I let you guys in a secret behind morning show recipes? Yes? Okay, so this could not be true anymore. I don't know. Radio is much evolved since I was nineteen. But back in the day, there was this formula that they had and it was a three person formula for morning shows and they called it the dough, the Richard for cleaning it up, and the dude. So somebody had to be a go with the flow homie always a female and always just like somebody that just was always combative about everything. Sure, but that's what makes it interesting. And over years of radio they discover this little formula because that's how it that's what gets people intrigued, and you can usually identify with somebody and like kind of side with somebody. Yeah, because if everyone was me and you wouldn't like that listening to that either, Yeah, there has to be the view would never be the view because if everybody had the same opinion, well doesn't show I haven't watched the view. I don't think they're all kind of I don't know I have it, but I think yeah, are supposed to be that everyone's kind of like you know, right, Yeah, So all of that to say in your defense, often we are asked sometimes do you have an opinion about this? Right? And I think we learned a valuable lesson last time that we just don't even have to have one right or if you do, that's okay, it's it's it's just how it how how it comes out to. Yeah, and the people could listen to the whole thing and get some context. Sure that would have been helpful. Yeah, any friends under the bus, but yeah, yeah, yeah, but why As I'm reading this breakdown, the first headline and topic are you ready for it? I was like, wait what and I gain I don't are you ready for it? And I was like, is that a hint? I was like, well done, No I I It says Jana Kramer's husband says. I'm like, oh my gosh, I did like what what did he say? I'm like, why is this on the rundown? And I didn't know it got picked up? But of course it says he wouldn't allow her to do sex scenes like on Yellowstone. Here's the article here, ladies, let's have your take on this. And I'm like, oh gosh, what is this? So I click on it and it brings me to US Weekly. I was like, crap, you're vacation home US Weekly and so I start reading the comments and it's like girl, run red flags, like he won't allow. So I just sent it to Alan and I was like, oh boy, and he's like, oh, for Fok's sake, He's like, I look crazy, you know, And I'm like, well, let's actually have a conversation about it, because I I hear what you were saying on the show, and I can empathy empathize that it would be difficult. But when you say I would never allow her to do this. There was a little piece of me that was like, is he serious? You know, yeah, if I got the role of like of a lifetime he would he actually would he actually make me say no. And so for a split second that was a good topic for us. Actually yeah, And for a split second that episode made me kind of go wait, but like really, like I know again this goes back to the whole podcasting thing of you know, it's fun to kind of stir the pot a little bit, have fun, and this is you know, but the podcast it's it's supposed to you know, stir pots a little bit this one and so but then I afterwards it got me kind of thinking. Then when I saw that article, I was like, all right, babe, so what like what is it like? Do you really mean that? Because I yeah, for a split second, I was like, oh wow, like maybe he actually means this or or is he just putting it on for like a little pot stirring. But what's the answer. He's both, no, he said, I mean it would be something we would need to discuss. He goes, I will never like it. I will never like someone being able to smell your pheromones. He's like those are mine. That's correct, Ellen and I have a lot in common. That's why I think this is a good topic here. Yeah, he's like, those are mine, you know, And to have someone that close to you, he goes, I am going to have a really hard time with that. Having said that, he's like, if it's career changing and it's a big role, obviously I wouldn't say for you to turn it down. It would just be hard for me. And I'm like, I totally get that. I totally empathized that that would be really hard for you. And if it is, I'm not just going to do it for some crap movie or whatever. It would be for something that would be, you know, moving the needle forward for my career if that role entailed it as long as the needle it's for Alan. So what is tricky, I think is that Alan would be if you were doing a really great acting job, Alan would not like that. Well, it is the only one that really knows what it would look like if you were doing an excellent job at acting. Well. I remember one time in one of the movies, I can't remember which one, He's like, really, Babe, the hand behind the head, you know, because like when you kiss someone I do like, I'm like, is this sting? Yeah? Like no, But I also don't want to like overthink any there. But out of the day, he is the most supportive husband ever I think, and I want to just stick up for him a little bit because he's not the red flag. He would never actually make me say no. It would just be a discussion. I think it should be a discussion. Yeah, I would stick up for him a lot in this case because I have some I'm married to someone who is in an industry that could lend itself if it needed to. This is why we're a no with Dancing with the Stars. And I told Cheryl Burke that, like I do. I think it is when you know it's your person, you can say, don't allow, wouldn't love it, wouldn't approve it, whatever word you want to use. But I don't know and hear everyone this is where you guys get into my DMS Kristin Dbruss because you're gonna say, I just don't know anybody that feels super comfortable watching their partner do that with someone else ever, Like you want it to be on like no one, Oh, okay, maybe not all, maybe even have the couches. You're looking at me. No, it's because again I've dated actors who have done those kind of roles. I can't I cannot imagine. Is it the Detroit and me like, I'm literally like, let's we are cutting like I don't know it. It's because you're not. That's just not what you're used to, you know, like when two actors date each other, that's just the norm. I would I literally would die, like I can feel my throat closing. Yeah, if it was if it was Alan, you know, all of a sudden started acting, Yeah, I wouldn't like that because I'd be like, he's not used to that, you know what I mean, Like, no, you're not an actor, you know what I mean. But if he did it before, then yeah, because that's I would do. Yeah. But it's interesting too because I get people that are like, oh, I couldn't even be without my husband two in ter night's a year, like how do you do that? And I'm like, oh, I don't know any different, Sure, so I guess it's a long I can do that. Well, Well, anyone can do anything, that's right, That's what I'm saying. I though, could not watch my husband do anything with anybody else. No, but again I think it's different because you guys aren't actors, That's right, and so that's that's the thing that will always be I think the hardest thing because it is a craft. I want to defend that. I know, acting is like an actual craft in talent. So this isn't like I think people are just like, it's not like we're doing pornos, right, I like a lot of things get really close now well yeah, I mean they like we talked about the last episode it which was like things, you know, they're really stretching boundaries with how intimate scenes are and what you know they're doing on TV and the streamers and all that. So I like, I get it. Having said that, it is a part of my job if the role entails it, yeah, those scenes, yeah we would just say hey yeah. But to defend my husband, I think he he's like the allow word was tough. Come on, everybody a Scottish the love of God, Like, Alan is such a good dude. He also very supportive and he is supportive. He's also protective of you, which I like in that way because I feel like this I always feel like nervous to misspeak, but like, I feel like in my experience, in my ten years with you, I have not seen anyone be this protective of you in such good ways. Yeah, and I love that about him. He's that's the difference for me. When I met Alan, I was like, ooh, my favorite part of Alan is I knew what he was going to establish some boundaries that were probably like you and I have talked about this off air. Sometimes I forget recording and then I get nervous. Let me just rewind myself. But like I needed someone like pressing to come in and be like, that's actually not acceptable, and so I kind of like, and it's true, Like, if you're talking about the true covenant of marriage, there's a lot of things that need to be discussed and protected, and I feel like Alan does a really good job of those things. Yeah, and one thousand percent. And because the level and because there's actually respect in this marriage. Yes, the things that I would do in the past when I wasn't with Alan on set, even married, I mean I was way flirty, inappropriate being married, but there was zero respect. I wanted to be out of my marriage right, you know, but still so inappropriate, And you would have said yes to the roles without even discussing with him, there would be no, like, zero discussion there was. I mean, I was I didn't have good boundaries because I was just the marriage. There was zero respect and I was so disrespected for so long that I was like, I need to respect you. You didn't respect me, right, you know? But you know now it's like, oh my gosh, Like thinking even even if I was, and I don't think I was meaning to be flirty, but thinking back, I'm like, I would never be like instagramming all the time with another dude on set, like, and I haven't since I've been because I'm like, that's not respectful, right, that's the difference. Yeah, So I think I've So I think Alan. I like that Alan just spoke what he wanted to say. He's also he's a football soccer player. He's not made from like he wasn't media trained to be picking his words specifically. And I want to remind everyone he's Scottish. Okay, Yeah, so leave Allan alone. Next hot topic, Taylor Swift gave a whopping one hundred and ninety seven million in bonuses to eras to her performer's crew on Top of their salaries. The typical amount is five to ten in each. She gave each of her heirs to her truck drivers one hundred thousand bonuses a handwritten note. I there's one thing that I got to say. Did you end up going to a show? I didn't, so I really wanted to because it's, you know, from all the things that I saw and the you know, people going to see it on Instagram, you know, posting their stories. I did watch the movie, but I yeah, I would have loved to have gone. The tickets were just too expensive. But I mean, one thing that I just have always loved is the how she goes out of her way for writing the notes. She's so crazy busy and doing all the things, but she goes above and beyond for things like that. And then, I mean, those bonuses change people's lives in what she does. So I think it's it's incredible that she gives back the way that she does, because she's obviously made I don't know how much that tour made, but it made a lot, and so the fact that she knows that it wouldn't go on without these other people, so how she pays them back is beautiful. I mean I think that's like so respectful. And you know, she's making homemade pop tarts. Have you seen this? No, she makes homemade pop tarts for like the other players on the Chiefs and stuff. And I'm like, I can't even shampoo. She just did, like I'm not finding time to wash my hair and she's making homemade pop tarts and on stage for three hours. Like It's why I'm about to cancel my invite to the to the Queendom Christmas party thing because everyone was talking about like bring a checruder on a board. I was like, Pam, I love you, but I don't, like, can I just go to Whole Foods and get like some cookies and throw them on a plate like I'm like and be Yet she's making handmade pop tarts. So now I just feel even worse about myself. It's really this is a crazy season anyways, I feel like, but I think we just have to do what we can do within our means and boundaries, right, Yeah, but Taylor is more than generous, which I also wonder you know, like you and I really always believe in like the more you give, the more you get cheerful giver. That's biblical but I also like wonder if that is why she's so wildly successful, because she's always kept herself grounded and gracious and gives back so much. I feel like, you know, what goes around comes round. I mean, we're like literally living in history watching Taylor Swift. It's wild to think. I wonder. I'm like, who's going to be the next generation for our kids? You know, like who would are they even born yet? I don't know? Isn't that wild? Yeah? Are they in somebody's belly right now? That's what would be the next I mean, because who would Taylor Swift be for our era? Britney? Yeah, I was thinking Brittany or Whitney. Yeah, Whitney. Wow. Yeah, I don't know. I mean I guess so. But even then, but even then it wasn't to that scale. No, I mean, this is of another proportion. Yeah, it's crazy the amount of semi trucks. I mean just even the amount of like lights and staging, and it's it is literally history. Love would Love is a very big swiftye and so it is her goal to be out on that Eras tour somehow, and I just couldn't do it. It's I felt like even to get tickets was so crazy, even if you could afford them, to get them, the actual like process of attaining them, it's kind of crazy. You can now buy a car on Amazon? What? What is happening? What is happening? I can't wait. It's moments like this where we talk about stuff that I go ten years from now. You can now buy a Hyunday. You know how? I know how to say Hyundai, not high Unday because it's Hyundai like Sunday. Oh, I never knew on Amazon. That's interesting. Starting today, Amazon car shoppers in forty eight cities New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Wow, and buy a Hyundai. Interesting? Would you do that? No? Would you? I don't know. I wouldn't buy a Hundai. That's no offense to anyone. But I'm a I'm a Ford chick. So but I if I could buy a Forward on Amazon, I don't know. I mean, listen if I'm bawling out of control and I can just like add to cart I don't know. There's something about I still am. I think I'm just getting old. Yeah, but like I'm just such an old school show. I love a testimonial, I love face to face. I want to know that I can trust the guy that sold it to me or the woman that's helping me pick it out, or like trust a sales I don't know. I did find one that I feel like one recently because I'm car shopping at the moment. What do you want to get? I just want to get out of my jeep? Do you want a third row? No? I have a third row? Oh yeah? And I don't like it? Is it too tiny? Everything's too tiny except for what a Stottish man you marriage? Yeah? I feel that way. You know, it's wild. We got an expedition and I thought for sure that's gonna be way big enough. Like Preston and I are very small people like we are Teacup Yorkis and so like everybody we make is pretty tiny. So far too, and I'm like, why does everybody need these huge vehicles? And then I get an expedition which is huge and I love it, but they're still not in the strong space never so now what I have to get? The big expo? Long? You're basically driving a boat. It is about and it's still not like I don't know what to do with that. So does the perfect vehicle exist? That's my question. People love their minivans, and I know they do, but it's not high en, up, high and up enough for me. Yeah. No, I agree with you and that I like to feel a little bit higher up. Though the built in vacuum did have me clicking around for a minute. If you know my personality, can we do a Christmas check in really fast? How are you feeling about the holidays? Your husband will be back from traveling, You'll have some more time with him. Have you figured out the holiday plans? What are you looking forward to? What are you stressed about? I am trying to decide how much I'd like to share. Well, because the other day I set you a good song. I'm like, if you want a good cry, I just it's like I had, And you're like, we're scheduling a cry, schedule a cry for this afternoon. I would say I adore Christmas season so much like Christmas and Easter are so special to me. I think the air is different. I think there's something really cool that comes over us and I feel this pull and I feel like a lot of it is not about this, It's not Jesus is the reason for the season. Kind of feel and that's where I get. I gets I get resentful of the disconnection that it's trying to do. Like I feel like I'm fighting harder than ever to keep that in our season, in our home right now. Jesus, yes, just like what is this all for? Right? And so I've not been It's not been hard for me to say no to certain things. That's not it. It's just it's this weird like again, we're down to hosting always like we want to. You know, he wants his parents to come in for the holidays, and it just adds it just adds more, and I don't know, I have not found the sweet spot. I think that's where I get frustrated. It will say, I've got started getting them an airbnb when they come, so it feels cozy. It feels cozier to me than a hotel. But it and it keeps them out of our home at night because Preston his parents will stay up to like one am talking. I love that. That's the one part I wish, but like he can go with them and go do that there. But it gives us like quiet nights and slow mornings and still I'm hosting all of those days that they're there, so I just don't know. So the plan is Preston comes off the road. I host a label and a band already at our home, which I've already decided will never happen again. It's sweet and I love the idea of it, but ultimately, like, I just have little kids. There's a baby that needs to go to sleep by eight if I'm pushing it. Huh. I know, I know seven's my preference right now. But I also was like, I can be flexible, but it's still just so. I guess I have a hard time, and I've fought this for a long time. I'm open to anything you have to say, because I feel like you and I usually are always on the same page. But I want to have more of a hosting heart. I do think I have one when it's certain people and I feel a little on christ like in my hosting when I start to feel resentment, But then I shame myself for feeling resentful when it's probably just fair to feel that way. Yeah, no, it's fair. But I think you also just want peace and your husband. I just desperately want my husband. Yeah, that's been the biggest thing, Like he's just been gone so much, and I you know, but it's also tricky, like the people that actually are responsible for creating him probably would love to see him too. I think it's just hard because I think people have an idea of what they think our life is like, but I don't think people know how much he's really gone. And the differences I noticed in our kids needing him a little consistency, even if it's just for like a week and a half. And so Sarah Brice gave me advice. I had them coming in after Christmas, and Sarah said, I want you to just think about having them before, so that say, by the twentieth you know, you have you don't have to keep wondering like that doesn't have to be open in your brain, right. So that's what we're doing. Okay, good, Yeah, fabulous, we'll see you know. I'm i gotta say, I'm I think that's a good idea. I'm I'm I'm struggling on what to do this year. You guys stay here. We're staying here because Alan green card process man, trying to do it the legal way is really tough. Oh man, It's been really difficult with his green card process because he's not allowed to leave the country and for a certain amount of days until he gets you know, his travel authorization. But you know, applying for the green card has just been I mean, he's had the medical I mean, it's it's just been a lot, and it's it's frustrating when you see other people do it illegally, Yeah, when you're trying to do it the right way. And now he like, obviously we can't travel or he can't travel out of the country, which is challenging. But the last time I didn't have the kids for Christmas Eve night was when I flew to see Alan in London. So and then I had Christmas the next day, Like I had, I flew home on Christmas Eve because that was the Christmas Eve that I was dreading of not seeing. That was the first year of ever and like not having my kids on Christmas Eve night, and so you know, I decided, all right, I'm gonna fly to London to see Alan, and I'll fly back on Christmas Eve night and then I'll get them noon on Christmas. But that was going to be our Christmas Eve, so I would still have our what you know, quote Christmas Eve. And then the next day was you know, the day after Christmas was our Christmas and so and that's like when me and my ex thought about it, because he's like, you can't change Christmas. And I'm like, you can't tell me what to do. You can't change your life, but you did, and so yeah, but this year now we have a baby together and obviously Roman doesn't know the day. But I feel like I can't change Christmas again this year so that you don't have the kids Christmas Eve. No, And I'm already starting to be like depressed about it because, you know, baking the cookies before Santa comes, and like I don't get to do any of that. I don't get to make cookies with them. I don't get to leave out the note the night before, I don't get to leave out you know, the carrots for the reindeer, put the reindeer food out, Like I don't get to do any of that. If I don't have a Christmas Eve night? Can you go do that? There? That feels not good to me. Okay, that feels more like anytime I still go to have to pick up the kids from his house. I don't like it. I wouldn't like it either. It feels no matter how many years removed, so happy. I don't like picking my kids up there. I don't like being it. It's just it. I just I don't like it. Yeah, that's okay, that's fair. Like he makes himself welcome in cozy here, I don't step inside his place, you know, I don't like it. I don't like to. I don't want to. I just don't like it. Yeah, that's okay. I was just trying on our options because I do sure, but like also, those are his memories. I wouldn't invite him to do that here with us. As much as I have tried to make a great situation for everyone and invite him to parties and do this, that and the other, you know, I don't want him here on our family nights decorating cookies. So I wouldn't ask him for me to do that. The only thing I did ask and he hasn't responded, of course, is church, because church is important to me to go on Christmas Eve, and so I asked him, I said, hey, what service are you gonna are we going to? Basically, yeah, the three or the five? Yeah that's great, but I don't know. He hasn't responded, So could you double Christmas again, But how do I do that now that because it's Jolie is now at an age too where I remember how I said, she asked, yeah, and then I don't know how I could do that post. So next year I'll obviously have them again on Christmas Eve, which will be fine, and then after that then Jolie probably won't believe Jace might not either, and then just probably do Christmas. I don't I know, then it wouldn't be writing to Sannah, but this would probably be the last year that Jolie is going to be all in all in writing to Sannah. I don't know, Well next year maybe, like I'm gonna hopefully next year, but the man getting running tight tea is getting harder than ever. Yeah, I know in the guest room closet, my lord, don't don't go in there. Yeah. I'm also like, don't don't touch my phone, don't look at me into like the Amazon alert comes through and I'm like, ohnness a year. Yeah, Yeah, I don't know. I do wonder if you could do pre Christmas Eve with Roman and then you still make it well because Roman's young enough that I don't think it matters, like we could have Christmas morning, Alan and I and Roman on Christmas Day? Oh no, is that weird? No, that would be weird. I don't know what to do. How I do what if you were? Do you think Santa swoops back around? M do you think he's hoops back around he did two years ago? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what I mean, what other options would I have? I don't know, I don't I don't know. I need to really think about. I forgot for a minute we're recording that happens to me. It's not entertaining for me to think in brainstorm. I just there has to be I'm such a will there's a way girl. Yeah. So I just do want to miss those unless i'm you know, we bake cookies. I mean, it would essentially just be this this, this is the last weekend I have them before, you know, Christmas. Yeah, that's where I just get That's where I just get angry. I love my life. I love obviously Roman, and I would never wish to ever still be in that marriage ever or be married to that man. But I that makes do sorry. But I miss the I miss the family aspect of my I miss my I don't want my kids leaving all the time. I don't like that, and I will always dislike him for him for that being the really the reason did he ever give you it to you back? Would he ever give you Christmas Eve back? Never because he loves it so much or because that would be giving you something? Because I believe he deserves it too. And when we got divorced, I was like, you will never get a Christmas And he's like, that's not fair, and I'm like it is and it is fair actually, But actions that have gone consistence, Yeah, I just yeah, we're going to figure something out though there has to be something, something magical can still exist. You get them on Christmas Day, please DM me because I just don't know. I get them back Christmas Day at noon. So what if what if you the minute you get them, the cookies go up. What if he's still making his rounds. What if he hasn't just gotten to this house yet? You get Dada's house in the morning, but then he can the cookies go out at noon? Can something happen? So like I pick up the kids? Yeah, Like do you need do you need magic people to come to your Like? Can y'all go go somewhere and when you come home, where'd we go on Christmas Day? You want to go drive and look at lights or something. And by the time you come home, your friends that love you very much have been in here setting up the gifts that you have so appropriately wrapped in the guest room closet. No that I'm going to hire someone to wrap because I hate wrapping breaths. Oh I love rapping presents. I wish we weren't. Okay. I love that we have kids the same age, but sometimes I wish they were just a little different because I feel like we would be. We do so well married to each other that like I'm like, oh, I got that, we're just not in that season yet. I would do it for you. But maybe just think about the paper wrapping presents. Maybe you guys do your gifts, but the Santa gifts don't come until after you look at Christmas lights. Maybe that's a very quick thing for me to do. I can pop over. You are not coming over on Christmas. But this is the magic of Christmas. Like that to me, see, this is where none of this makes me feel resentful. This is like preserving imagination, making it magical. Being like remember the stories and we get to tell on their wedding day sometime when Roman and Lyon marry each other. But like, well, Liyan tried to call me today, had a fun dial She called Ashley. Woldn't do it? Somebody was going hello, I was like, what has she done? But that, I mean, I feel like that is such a cool that would be easy pop over And when you guys get back from looking at Christmas lights, maybe there's hot cocoa And sorry I was late, xo XO. Just the Santa gifts? That's cute. Actually, did we just save Christmas? I don't know. That's kind of cute, but I'm never I would never want anyone to come do that. Okay, if you took that out of it, does it sound like a fun plan. It does, But let's see if anyone else has any other idea. No ideas are better than speaking of There's an article Mom details how she handles Christmas with eight kids and why they don't do Santa Claus. Do they do in laws? Because that's my biggest question. When she used to do Sanda my oldest few kids were little, but as they grew and we had more kids, we just felt convicted about trying to give up the lie. We would lie and then we would have to lie again to cover up the lie. Put us in a bad position, and as Christians, we wanted to make sure our kids had the right focus. So I think that's what you're also, you know, talking about the I kind of have the wrong focus, the focus of why there is Christmas, And yeah, you know, listen, I've had to start making kind of like a little list in my head of the things that I am so lucky to have in my in laws, because they're really lovely people. They are. I think they just grew up in such a different generation and I think I may have been spoiled before with like seeing how other people do Christmas. I'll also say this, my grandmother was the glue of my family, and when she died, holidays stopped. So I had to reframe the other day. This might make me emotional. You won't be able to tell, because I already sound like I've been crying this whole episode. But I had to reframe the other day. I got really still because I was just feeling anxious and I had just done a podcast talking about like protecting the Prince of Peace, like at all costs, And I thought, what if I'm the glue, and so I need to anchor in the glue, Like what if the person I loved the most because she was just my person, what if I'm more like her than I was realizing in the way that I'm willing to have them come over. I think there's some fundamental differences in that, Like when we were growing up and this may I'm sure this is the same for you, but like aunts and uncles, everybody brought something, so just felt like a little bit less of a load. And I think that's where I get things just start to feel a little like heavy for me, is I'm like, okay, I have to feed everyone, and I've got these kids, you know, like and Preson's usually not home, so I'm just cheering the time. But if I'm the glue, that helps me change my perspective a little bit, and it makes me feel a little like we have a warmhouse, we have all these things, we can do it for them. They are thankful I don't have the mother in law that comes over and like runs a white glove test over my you know, to see if it's dusty like she she's so they're so grateful. Yeah, so I just need to, Like I one of my toxic traits I'm trying to leave in this year is I'm really good at over analyzing where the bottom can fall out because of the way I grew up, and so I prepare myself for that. But in that it kind of snuck into all these little nooks and crannies in my life where I, like, will find the thing that isn't great about something too, and then I kind of hyper focus this is not hot, I know. So I'm just trying to go like, Okay, but if I didn't focus on that, here's all these great things about these people, and we can try that on after ten years and sea and that's the solutions. I like it. You're trying, you know, you're you're the grandma, you know, like you're the glue. You're embodying the beauty of what she was for you. Yeah. I think that's beautiful. Okay, see if it works, tune back in to find out, well, that is all the hot topics that I feel comfortable to think, because there are some out there whoa the world that's crazy like that I don't even know enough about to be honest with you, like, I don't think the world. Turn on the news and I'll see the jay Z things, I'll see the Luigi Luigi and I'm just like, my only question with that is we know so much about this person, but yet some of the other people we still don't have information on and why. I just I'm just, I am just I don't understand it all. I started watching Black Doves. Have you watched it? No? But it's on my list? Oh, it needs to be on your list, Rest and fall asleep, And I kept going, that's the rule. I broke the rule. Okay, and it reminds me a lot of this, Like you think you know, but you have no idea. Yeah, yeah, Like I just feel like there's so much more and yeah, but I again, I don't even want to get into it because I have no idea. Literally, I just follow my one account that I love that I will not share because I have one account too. She seems right down the carl and I like her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyways, and that's us not talking about those hot topics. She's a house and a habit. I don't know. Oh, mine's a smart her news Okay, have you ever seen her? No, she's really great. She's a retired news reporter. She took herself out of the game because she just felt like it was not it's down the middle as it needed to be, and you could literally be like she she is right down the middle. It's actually what news is supposed to be. I would love the Nay, I'm gonna have to. I like following counts like that. You'll like her a lot, I think, well, on that point, on that news, on that news, I'm gonna go wrap some presents. See you next week. I love you. Bye bye,

Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. It is a hot topic holiday episode. I get excited for current events. This is I don't. I actually felt that come over me when I read it. But you know why I don't love hot topics. I do know why. But would you like to share that you can share? Why do you think I don't like hot episode? Swimming? Last time? It went so swiftly? Last time? Did it go so swiftly? Escalated swiftly? Oh? This is Tara Reid filling in for Kristin bruston wind Down. Oh? But yeah, I made this joke in front of two sweet twenty somethings. I like, who's Tara Reid? I go, you guys, is this so Tara Reid's a good twenty or two thousand and five or something? And they both like looked at me, and I was like, y'all have no idea who Tara Reid is? Do you? And they were like no, did I tell you the time? Christine? I remember seeing her to club one time, like we grew up with Tara Reid. Yeah, she was like our girl. She was. Is she doing now? I don't know. When I googled her, I found this interview because I was trying to explain it to them. It hurts me, so can you just let her it does doesn't hurt, No, it doesn't hurt. This is actually the best it sounded. And legend Brost is living for the fact that I don't have a voice. Really, Oh he loves it. Why because I'm usually the one that's putting the like Escully did voice, got it okay? But that it does knock? Yeah? Sorry. So I googled her to see what is Tara doing now? And all I found is this really sad, slurry interview that she did. I know, and it wasn't I don't feel like it was that long ago. I don't know, but I was like, oh, Tara, you know, Hollywood's hard, it is, I know, you know, well not really like I don't know, like you know more than I do. Sure, but yeah, well that's a bummer. Yeah, but we're happy to have you here. Yeah, we're missing kitt KitKat Is. She is at the doctor's office right now with her daughter because everyone and their daughter has the flu. That's correct, So that's that's a bummer. Miss. We miss our little KitKat. But we are going to have a hot topic, show chat about the holidays, anything else that's going on. Why I don't like these usually is because it can become a little click baity a little and that scares me because, you know what, one of the things that I've been that I've tried to well, that I that I worked on this year was what how do I say this? Was? And I kind of talked about this a little bit on one of my last episodes, was about opinions and having opinions and like what does my opinion actually? Like? Why do I even have to have an opinion? Correct? Right? So? And then what do I want my opinion to be? Like when I speak? Do I want it to be an opinionion? Like? What level of because we all have an opinion, right, so it's and when we share it, how do we want it to come out? And so sometimes I think when I have shared my opinion, it might not come out the way that I would either a want it to or be. Why would I need to have that certain kind of opinion? Well, I also think it's worth noting that there is And I had to have a pleasant discussion with one of your listeners at one point because she our listeners. She wrote to me about me on accident, Oh Angela, oh no, and I had to remind her that there is a show flow, that there are things that we are given as ideas of topics. Yes, that what is the point of me actually being here if I don't say anything? Ever? Right, it's a podcast, right, isn't it? You know? Yeah? So anyways, it's worthy admiring if everyone agreed on it. So like I tell the girls, hey, like, if you disagree, disagree, because no one wants to listen to something where everyone's like yes absolutely, yes, as sure for sure, Like and if you don't agree with me, say you don't agree with me? Can I get Can I let you guys in a secret behind morning show recipes? Yes? Okay, so this could not be true anymore. I don't know. Radio is much evolved since I was nineteen. But back in the day, there was this formula that they had and it was a three person formula for morning shows and they called it the dough, the Richard for cleaning it up, and the dude. So somebody had to be a go with the flow homie always a female and always just like somebody that just was always combative about everything. Sure, but that's what makes it interesting. And over years of radio they discover this little formula because that's how it that's what gets people intrigued, and you can usually identify with somebody and like kind of side with somebody. Yeah, because if everyone was me and you wouldn't like that listening to that either, Yeah, there has to be the view would never be the view because if everybody had the same opinion, well doesn't show I haven't watched the view. I don't think they're all kind of I don't know I have it, but I think yeah, are supposed to be that everyone's kind of like you know, right, Yeah, So all of that to say in your defense, often we are asked sometimes do you have an opinion about this? Right? And I think we learned a valuable lesson last time that we just don't even have to have one right or if you do, that's okay, it's it's it's just how it how how it comes out to. Yeah, and the people could listen to the whole thing and get some context. Sure that would have been helpful. Yeah, any friends under the bus, but yeah, yeah, yeah, but why As I'm reading this breakdown, the first headline and topic are you ready for it? I was like, wait what and I gain I don't are you ready for it? And I was like, is that a hint? I was like, well done, No I I It says Jana Kramer's husband says. I'm like, oh my gosh, I did like what what did he say? I'm like, why is this on the rundown? And I didn't know it got picked up? But of course it says he wouldn't allow her to do sex scenes like on Yellowstone. Here's the article here, ladies, let's have your take on this. And I'm like, oh gosh, what is this? So I click on it and it brings me to US Weekly. I was like, crap, you're vacation home US Weekly and so I start reading the comments and it's like girl, run red flags, like he won't allow. So I just sent it to Alan and I was like, oh boy, and he's like, oh, for Fok's sake, He's like, I look crazy, you know, And I'm like, well, let's actually have a conversation about it, because I I hear what you were saying on the show, and I can empathy empathize that it would be difficult. But when you say I would never allow her to do this. There was a little piece of me that was like, is he serious? You know, yeah, if I got the role of like of a lifetime he would he actually would he actually make me say no. And so for a split second that was a good topic for us. Actually yeah, And for a split second that episode made me kind of go wait, but like really, like I know again this goes back to the whole podcasting thing of you know, it's fun to kind of stir the pot a little bit, have fun, and this is you know, but the podcast it's it's supposed to you know, stir pots a little bit this one and so but then I afterwards it got me kind of thinking. Then when I saw that article, I was like, all right, babe, so what like what is it like? Do you really mean that? Because I yeah, for a split second, I was like, oh wow, like maybe he actually means this or or is he just putting it on for like a little pot stirring. But what's the answer. He's both, no, he said, I mean it would be something we would need to discuss. He goes, I will never like it. I will never like someone being able to smell your pheromones. He's like those are mine. That's correct, Ellen and I have a lot in common. That's why I think this is a good topic here. Yeah, he's like, those are mine, you know, And to have someone that close to you, he goes, I am going to have a really hard time with that. Having said that, he's like, if it's career changing and it's a big role, obviously I wouldn't say for you to turn it down. It would just be hard for me. And I'm like, I totally get that. I totally empathized that that would be really hard for you. And if it is, I'm not just going to do it for some crap movie or whatever. It would be for something that would be, you know, moving the needle forward for my career if that role entailed it as long as the needle it's for Alan. So what is tricky, I think is that Alan would be if you were doing a really great acting job, Alan would not like that. Well, it is the only one that really knows what it would look like if you were doing an excellent job at acting. Well. I remember one time in one of the movies, I can't remember which one, He's like, really, Babe, the hand behind the head, you know, because like when you kiss someone I do like, I'm like, is this sting? Yeah? Like no, But I also don't want to like overthink any there. But out of the day, he is the most supportive husband ever I think, and I want to just stick up for him a little bit because he's not the red flag. He would never actually make me say no. It would just be a discussion. I think it should be a discussion. Yeah, I would stick up for him a lot in this case because I have some I'm married to someone who is in an industry that could lend itself if it needed to. This is why we're a no with Dancing with the Stars. And I told Cheryl Burke that, like I do. I think it is when you know it's your person, you can say, don't allow, wouldn't love it, wouldn't approve it, whatever word you want to use. But I don't know and hear everyone this is where you guys get into my DMS Kristin Dbruss because you're gonna say, I just don't know anybody that feels super comfortable watching their partner do that with someone else ever, Like you want it to be on like no one, Oh, okay, maybe not all, maybe even have the couches. You're looking at me. No, it's because again I've dated actors who have done those kind of roles. I can't I cannot imagine. Is it the Detroit and me like, I'm literally like, let's we are cutting like I don't know it. It's because you're not. That's just not what you're used to, you know, like when two actors date each other, that's just the norm. I would I literally would die, like I can feel my throat closing. Yeah, if it was if it was Alan, you know, all of a sudden started acting, Yeah, I wouldn't like that because I'd be like, he's not used to that, you know what I mean, Like, no, you're not an actor, you know what I mean. But if he did it before, then yeah, because that's I would do. Yeah. But it's interesting too because I get people that are like, oh, I couldn't even be without my husband two in ter night's a year, like how do you do that? And I'm like, oh, I don't know any different, Sure, so I guess it's a long I can do that. Well, Well, anyone can do anything, that's right, That's what I'm saying. I though, could not watch my husband do anything with anybody else. No, but again I think it's different because you guys aren't actors, That's right, and so that's that's the thing that will always be I think the hardest thing because it is a craft. I want to defend that. I know, acting is like an actual craft in talent. So this isn't like I think people are just like, it's not like we're doing pornos, right, I like a lot of things get really close now well yeah, I mean they like we talked about the last episode it which was like things, you know, they're really stretching boundaries with how intimate scenes are and what you know they're doing on TV and the streamers and all that. So I like, I get it. Having said that, it is a part of my job if the role entails it, yeah, those scenes, yeah we would just say hey yeah. But to defend my husband, I think he he's like the allow word was tough. Come on, everybody a Scottish the love of God, Like, Alan is such a good dude. He also very supportive and he is supportive. He's also protective of you, which I like in that way because I feel like this I always feel like nervous to misspeak, but like, I feel like in my experience, in my ten years with you, I have not seen anyone be this protective of you in such good ways. Yeah, and I love that about him. He's that's the difference for me. When I met Alan, I was like, ooh, my favorite part of Alan is I knew what he was going to establish some boundaries that were probably like you and I have talked about this off air. Sometimes I forget recording and then I get nervous. Let me just rewind myself. But like I needed someone like pressing to come in and be like, that's actually not acceptable, and so I kind of like, and it's true, Like, if you're talking about the true covenant of marriage, there's a lot of things that need to be discussed and protected, and I feel like Alan does a really good job of those things. Yeah, and one thousand percent. And because the level and because there's actually respect in this marriage. Yes, the things that I would do in the past when I wasn't with Alan on set, even married, I mean I was way flirty, inappropriate being married, but there was zero respect. I wanted to be out of my marriage right, you know, but still so inappropriate, And you would have said yes to the roles without even discussing with him, there would be no, like, zero discussion there was. I mean, I was I didn't have good boundaries because I was just the marriage. There was zero respect and I was so disrespected for so long that I was like, I need to respect you. You didn't respect me, right, you know? But you know now it's like, oh my gosh, Like thinking even even if I was, and I don't think I was meaning to be flirty, but thinking back, I'm like, I would never be like instagramming all the time with another dude on set, like, and I haven't since I've been because I'm like, that's not respectful, right, that's the difference. Yeah, So I think I've So I think Alan. I like that Alan just spoke what he wanted to say. He's also he's a football soccer player. He's not made from like he wasn't media trained to be picking his words specifically. And I want to remind everyone he's Scottish. Okay, Yeah, so leave Allan alone. Next hot topic, Taylor Swift gave a whopping one hundred and ninety seven million in bonuses to eras to her performer's crew on Top of their salaries. The typical amount is five to ten in each. She gave each of her heirs to her truck drivers one hundred thousand bonuses a handwritten note. I there's one thing that I got to say. Did you end up going to a show? I didn't, so I really wanted to because it's, you know, from all the things that I saw and the you know, people going to see it on Instagram, you know, posting their stories. I did watch the movie, but I yeah, I would have loved to have gone. The tickets were just too expensive. But I mean, one thing that I just have always loved is the how she goes out of her way for writing the notes. She's so crazy busy and doing all the things, but she goes above and beyond for things like that. And then, I mean, those bonuses change people's lives in what she does. So I think it's it's incredible that she gives back the way that she does, because she's obviously made I don't know how much that tour made, but it made a lot, and so the fact that she knows that it wouldn't go on without these other people, so how she pays them back is beautiful. I mean I think that's like so respectful. And you know, she's making homemade pop tarts. Have you seen this? No, she makes homemade pop tarts for like the other players on the Chiefs and stuff. And I'm like, I can't even shampoo. She just did, like I'm not finding time to wash my hair and she's making homemade pop tarts and on stage for three hours. Like It's why I'm about to cancel my invite to the to the Queendom Christmas party thing because everyone was talking about like bring a checruder on a board. I was like, Pam, I love you, but I don't, like, can I just go to Whole Foods and get like some cookies and throw them on a plate like I'm like and be Yet she's making handmade pop tarts. So now I just feel even worse about myself. It's really this is a crazy season anyways, I feel like, but I think we just have to do what we can do within our means and boundaries, right, Yeah, but Taylor is more than generous, which I also wonder you know, like you and I really always believe in like the more you give, the more you get cheerful giver. That's biblical but I also like wonder if that is why she's so wildly successful, because she's always kept herself grounded and gracious and gives back so much. I feel like, you know, what goes around comes round. I mean, we're like literally living in history watching Taylor Swift. It's wild to think. I wonder. I'm like, who's going to be the next generation for our kids? You know, like who would are they even born yet? I don't know? Isn't that wild? Yeah? Are they in somebody's belly right now? That's what would be the next I mean, because who would Taylor Swift be for our era? Britney? Yeah, I was thinking Brittany or Whitney. Yeah, Whitney. Wow. Yeah, I don't know. I mean I guess so. But even then, but even then it wasn't to that scale. No, I mean, this is of another proportion. Yeah, it's crazy the amount of semi trucks. I mean just even the amount of like lights and staging, and it's it is literally history. Love would Love is a very big swiftye and so it is her goal to be out on that Eras tour somehow, and I just couldn't do it. It's I felt like even to get tickets was so crazy, even if you could afford them, to get them, the actual like process of attaining them, it's kind of crazy. You can now buy a car on Amazon? What? What is happening? What is happening? I can't wait. It's moments like this where we talk about stuff that I go ten years from now. You can now buy a Hyunday. You know how? I know how to say Hyundai, not high Unday because it's Hyundai like Sunday. Oh, I never knew on Amazon. That's interesting. Starting today, Amazon car shoppers in forty eight cities New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Wow, and buy a Hyundai. Interesting? Would you do that? No? Would you? I don't know. I wouldn't buy a Hundai. That's no offense to anyone. But I'm a I'm a Ford chick. So but I if I could buy a Forward on Amazon, I don't know. I mean, listen if I'm bawling out of control and I can just like add to cart I don't know. There's something about I still am. I think I'm just getting old. Yeah, but like I'm just such an old school show. I love a testimonial, I love face to face. I want to know that I can trust the guy that sold it to me or the woman that's helping me pick it out, or like trust a sales I don't know. I did find one that I feel like one recently because I'm car shopping at the moment. What do you want to get? I just want to get out of my jeep? Do you want a third row? No? I have a third row? Oh yeah? And I don't like it? Is it too tiny? Everything's too tiny except for what a Stottish man you marriage? Yeah? I feel that way. You know, it's wild. We got an expedition and I thought for sure that's gonna be way big enough. Like Preston and I are very small people like we are Teacup Yorkis and so like everybody we make is pretty tiny. So far too, and I'm like, why does everybody need these huge vehicles? And then I get an expedition which is huge and I love it, but they're still not in the strong space never so now what I have to get? The big expo? Long? You're basically driving a boat. It is about and it's still not like I don't know what to do with that. So does the perfect vehicle exist? That's my question. People love their minivans, and I know they do, but it's not high en, up, high and up enough for me. Yeah. No, I agree with you and that I like to feel a little bit higher up. Though the built in vacuum did have me clicking around for a minute. If you know my personality, can we do a Christmas check in really fast? How are you feeling about the holidays? Your husband will be back from traveling, You'll have some more time with him. Have you figured out the holiday plans? What are you looking forward to? What are you stressed about? I am trying to decide how much I'd like to share. Well, because the other day I set you a good song. I'm like, if you want a good cry, I just it's like I had, And you're like, we're scheduling a cry, schedule a cry for this afternoon. I would say I adore Christmas season so much like Christmas and Easter are so special to me. I think the air is different. I think there's something really cool that comes over us and I feel this pull and I feel like a lot of it is not about this, It's not Jesus is the reason for the season. Kind of feel and that's where I get. I gets I get resentful of the disconnection that it's trying to do. Like I feel like I'm fighting harder than ever to keep that in our season, in our home right now. Jesus, yes, just like what is this all for? Right? And so I've not been It's not been hard for me to say no to certain things. That's not it. It's just it's this weird like again, we're down to hosting always like we want to. You know, he wants his parents to come in for the holidays, and it just adds it just adds more, and I don't know, I have not found the sweet spot. I think that's where I get frustrated. It will say, I've got started getting them an airbnb when they come, so it feels cozy. It feels cozier to me than a hotel. But it and it keeps them out of our home at night because Preston his parents will stay up to like one am talking. I love that. That's the one part I wish, but like he can go with them and go do that there. But it gives us like quiet nights and slow mornings and still I'm hosting all of those days that they're there, so I just don't know. So the plan is Preston comes off the road. I host a label and a band already at our home, which I've already decided will never happen again. It's sweet and I love the idea of it, but ultimately, like, I just have little kids. There's a baby that needs to go to sleep by eight if I'm pushing it. Huh. I know, I know seven's my preference right now. But I also was like, I can be flexible, but it's still just so. I guess I have a hard time, and I've fought this for a long time. I'm open to anything you have to say, because I feel like you and I usually are always on the same page. But I want to have more of a hosting heart. I do think I have one when it's certain people and I feel a little on christ like in my hosting when I start to feel resentment, But then I shame myself for feeling resentful when it's probably just fair to feel that way. Yeah, no, it's fair. But I think you also just want peace and your husband. I just desperately want my husband. Yeah, that's been the biggest thing, Like he's just been gone so much, and I you know, but it's also tricky, like the people that actually are responsible for creating him probably would love to see him too. I think it's just hard because I think people have an idea of what they think our life is like, but I don't think people know how much he's really gone. And the differences I noticed in our kids needing him a little consistency, even if it's just for like a week and a half. And so Sarah Brice gave me advice. I had them coming in after Christmas, and Sarah said, I want you to just think about having them before, so that say, by the twentieth you know, you have you don't have to keep wondering like that doesn't have to be open in your brain, right. So that's what we're doing. Okay, good, Yeah, fabulous, we'll see you know. I'm i gotta say, I'm I think that's a good idea. I'm I'm I'm struggling on what to do this year. You guys stay here. We're staying here because Alan green card process man, trying to do it the legal way is really tough. Oh man, It's been really difficult with his green card process because he's not allowed to leave the country and for a certain amount of days until he gets you know, his travel authorization. But you know, applying for the green card has just been I mean, he's had the medical I mean, it's it's just been a lot, and it's it's frustrating when you see other people do it illegally, Yeah, when you're trying to do it the right way. And now he like, obviously we can't travel or he can't travel out of the country, which is challenging. But the last time I didn't have the kids for Christmas Eve night was when I flew to see Alan in London. So and then I had Christmas the next day, Like I had, I flew home on Christmas Eve because that was the Christmas Eve that I was dreading of not seeing. That was the first year of ever and like not having my kids on Christmas Eve night, and so you know, I decided, all right, I'm gonna fly to London to see Alan, and I'll fly back on Christmas Eve night and then I'll get them noon on Christmas. But that was going to be our Christmas Eve, so I would still have our what you know, quote Christmas Eve. And then the next day was you know, the day after Christmas was our Christmas and so and that's like when me and my ex thought about it, because he's like, you can't change Christmas. And I'm like, you can't tell me what to do. You can't change your life, but you did, and so yeah, but this year now we have a baby together and obviously Roman doesn't know the day. But I feel like I can't change Christmas again this year so that you don't have the kids Christmas Eve. No, And I'm already starting to be like depressed about it because, you know, baking the cookies before Santa comes, and like I don't get to do any of that. I don't get to make cookies with them. I don't get to leave out the note the night before, I don't get to leave out you know, the carrots for the reindeer, put the reindeer food out, Like I don't get to do any of that. If I don't have a Christmas Eve night? Can you go do that? There? That feels not good to me. Okay, that feels more like anytime I still go to have to pick up the kids from his house. I don't like it. I wouldn't like it either. It feels no matter how many years removed, so happy. I don't like picking my kids up there. I don't like being it. It's just it. I just I don't like it. Yeah, that's okay, that's fair. Like he makes himself welcome in cozy here, I don't step inside his place, you know, I don't like it. I don't like to. I don't want to. I just don't like it. Yeah, that's okay. I was just trying on our options because I do sure, but like also, those are his memories. I wouldn't invite him to do that here with us. As much as I have tried to make a great situation for everyone and invite him to parties and do this, that and the other, you know, I don't want him here on our family nights decorating cookies. So I wouldn't ask him for me to do that. The only thing I did ask and he hasn't responded, of course, is church, because church is important to me to go on Christmas Eve, and so I asked him, I said, hey, what service are you gonna are we going to? Basically, yeah, the three or the five? Yeah that's great, but I don't know. He hasn't responded, So could you double Christmas again, But how do I do that now that because it's Jolie is now at an age too where I remember how I said, she asked, yeah, and then I don't know how I could do that post. So next year I'll obviously have them again on Christmas Eve, which will be fine, and then after that then Jolie probably won't believe Jace might not either, and then just probably do Christmas. I don't I know, then it wouldn't be writing to Sannah, but this would probably be the last year that Jolie is going to be all in all in writing to Sannah. I don't know, Well next year maybe, like I'm gonna hopefully next year, but the man getting running tight tea is getting harder than ever. Yeah, I know in the guest room closet, my lord, don't don't go in there. Yeah. I'm also like, don't don't touch my phone, don't look at me into like the Amazon alert comes through and I'm like, ohnness a year. Yeah, Yeah, I don't know. I do wonder if you could do pre Christmas Eve with Roman and then you still make it well because Roman's young enough that I don't think it matters, like we could have Christmas morning, Alan and I and Roman on Christmas Day? Oh no, is that weird? No, that would be weird. I don't know what to do. How I do what if you were? Do you think Santa swoops back around? M do you think he's hoops back around he did two years ago? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what I mean, what other options would I have? I don't know, I don't I don't know. I need to really think about. I forgot for a minute we're recording that happens to me. It's not entertaining for me to think in brainstorm. I just there has to be I'm such a will there's a way girl. Yeah. So I just do want to miss those unless i'm you know, we bake cookies. I mean, it would essentially just be this this, this is the last weekend I have them before, you know, Christmas. Yeah, that's where I just get That's where I just get angry. I love my life. I love obviously Roman, and I would never wish to ever still be in that marriage ever or be married to that man. But I that makes do sorry. But I miss the I miss the family aspect of my I miss my I don't want my kids leaving all the time. I don't like that, and I will always dislike him for him for that being the really the reason did he ever give you it to you back? Would he ever give you Christmas Eve back? Never because he loves it so much or because that would be giving you something? Because I believe he deserves it too. And when we got divorced, I was like, you will never get a Christmas And he's like, that's not fair, and I'm like it is and it is fair actually, But actions that have gone consistence, Yeah, I just yeah, we're going to figure something out though there has to be something, something magical can still exist. You get them on Christmas Day, please DM me because I just don't know. I get them back Christmas Day at noon. So what if what if you the minute you get them, the cookies go up. What if he's still making his rounds. What if he hasn't just gotten to this house yet? You get Dada's house in the morning, but then he can the cookies go out at noon? Can something happen? So like I pick up the kids? Yeah, Like do you need do you need magic people to come to your Like? Can y'all go go somewhere and when you come home, where'd we go on Christmas Day? You want to go drive and look at lights or something. And by the time you come home, your friends that love you very much have been in here setting up the gifts that you have so appropriately wrapped in the guest room closet. No that I'm going to hire someone to wrap because I hate wrapping breaths. Oh I love rapping presents. I wish we weren't. Okay. I love that we have kids the same age, but sometimes I wish they were just a little different because I feel like we would be. We do so well married to each other that like I'm like, oh, I got that, we're just not in that season yet. I would do it for you. But maybe just think about the paper wrapping presents. Maybe you guys do your gifts, but the Santa gifts don't come until after you look at Christmas lights. Maybe that's a very quick thing for me to do. I can pop over. You are not coming over on Christmas. But this is the magic of Christmas. Like that to me, see, this is where none of this makes me feel resentful. This is like preserving imagination, making it magical. Being like remember the stories and we get to tell on their wedding day sometime when Roman and Lyon marry each other. But like, well, Liyan tried to call me today, had a fun dial She called Ashley. Woldn't do it? Somebody was going hello, I was like, what has she done? But that, I mean, I feel like that is such a cool that would be easy pop over And when you guys get back from looking at Christmas lights, maybe there's hot cocoa And sorry I was late, xo XO. Just the Santa gifts? That's cute. Actually, did we just save Christmas? I don't know. That's kind of cute, but I'm never I would never want anyone to come do that. Okay, if you took that out of it, does it sound like a fun plan. It does, But let's see if anyone else has any other idea. No ideas are better than speaking of There's an article Mom details how she handles Christmas with eight kids and why they don't do Santa Claus. Do they do in laws? Because that's my biggest question. When she used to do Sanda my oldest few kids were little, but as they grew and we had more kids, we just felt convicted about trying to give up the lie. We would lie and then we would have to lie again to cover up the lie. Put us in a bad position, and as Christians, we wanted to make sure our kids had the right focus. So I think that's what you're also, you know, talking about the I kind of have the wrong focus, the focus of why there is Christmas, And yeah, you know, listen, I've had to start making kind of like a little list in my head of the things that I am so lucky to have in my in laws, because they're really lovely people. They are. I think they just grew up in such a different generation and I think I may have been spoiled before with like seeing how other people do Christmas. I'll also say this, my grandmother was the glue of my family, and when she died, holidays stopped. So I had to reframe the other day. This might make me emotional. You won't be able to tell, because I already sound like I've been crying this whole episode. But I had to reframe the other day. I got really still because I was just feeling anxious and I had just done a podcast talking about like protecting the Prince of Peace, like at all costs, And I thought, what if I'm the glue, and so I need to anchor in the glue, Like what if the person I loved the most because she was just my person, what if I'm more like her than I was realizing in the way that I'm willing to have them come over. I think there's some fundamental differences in that, Like when we were growing up and this may I'm sure this is the same for you, but like aunts and uncles, everybody brought something, so just felt like a little bit less of a load. And I think that's where I get things just start to feel a little like heavy for me, is I'm like, okay, I have to feed everyone, and I've got these kids, you know, like and Preson's usually not home, so I'm just cheering the time. But if I'm the glue, that helps me change my perspective a little bit, and it makes me feel a little like we have a warmhouse, we have all these things, we can do it for them. They are thankful I don't have the mother in law that comes over and like runs a white glove test over my you know, to see if it's dusty like she she's so they're so grateful. Yeah, so I just need to, Like I one of my toxic traits I'm trying to leave in this year is I'm really good at over analyzing where the bottom can fall out because of the way I grew up, and so I prepare myself for that. But in that it kind of snuck into all these little nooks and crannies in my life where I, like, will find the thing that isn't great about something too, and then I kind of hyper focus this is not hot, I know. So I'm just trying to go like, Okay, but if I didn't focus on that, here's all these great things about these people, and we can try that on after ten years and sea and that's the solutions. I like it. You're trying, you know, you're you're the grandma, you know, like you're the glue. You're embodying the beauty of what she was for you. Yeah. I think that's beautiful. Okay, see if it works, tune back in to find out, well, that is all the hot topics that I feel comfortable to think, because there are some out there whoa the world that's crazy like that I don't even know enough about to be honest with you, like, I don't think the world. Turn on the news and I'll see the jay Z things, I'll see the Luigi Luigi and I'm just like, my only question with that is we know so much about this person, but yet some of the other people we still don't have information on and why. I just I'm just, I am just I don't understand it all. I started watching Black Doves. Have you watched it? No? But it's on my list? Oh, it needs to be on your list, Rest and fall asleep, And I kept going, that's the rule. I broke the rule. Okay, and it reminds me a lot of this, Like you think you know, but you have no idea. Yeah, yeah, Like I just feel like there's so much more and yeah, but I again, I don't even want to get into it because I have no idea. Literally, I just follow my one account that I love that I will not share because I have one account too. She seems right down the carl and I like her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyways, and that's us not talking about those hot topics. She's a house and a habit. I don't know. Oh, mine's a smart her news Okay, have you ever seen her? No, she's really great. She's a retired news reporter. She took herself out of the game because she just felt like it was not it's down the middle as it needed to be, and you could literally be like she she is right down the middle. It's actually what news is supposed to be. I would love the Nay, I'm gonna have to. I like following counts like that. You'll like her a lot, I think, well, on that point, on that news, on that news, I'm gonna go wrap some presents. See you next week. I love you. Bye bye,