Wine Down with Janna Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast. We're having a jam party in here right now. Um, I'm playing the Forum September one in l A. And I just broke the news to Easton that I'm not singing his favorite song, so because I was like, I just don't think my guys even know the song. It's called Goodbye California, and Easton and I just like totally jammed out to it and sang it. The professional musicians they have a weekend a half. You can tell them to learn it. This is their job. We just sang it together though. I me, Mason, I like totally just sang it together. I want to see the front row singing along to that. I like, you tell the Chattoos driving in the country where the daffads like him A sang it sanks to hat playing country five Chicken is a beautiful thing? Is hug and hold you? Hello Heve and so good bye California. Yeah, September one, ladies, you can see that happen is a better husband you than me? All the words? Yeah, I don't even think you would know one lyric to that. I don't know, probably not not that one, not that one. I don't even think I've heard you performed that one. I don't think I've ever performed that one yet. But we've got a studio full. I'm so excited. Um coming back for her grand return. Does she have the ring or not? Formerly known as Sarah gret Sky. We've obviously got market Easton and Jen and then my husband is back as well. Um, so Jen. We dropped Jolie off at preschool, who cried. Michael would not let go of her. I was like, let's go. I was like, oh, Julie, you're let me take you into the class. Let me see you down. Let's play Plato and the teachers. No other parents are in there. All the parents have already left. It's just me like sitting at table. Kids are playing Plato. Teachers are like, dude, like get out of here, get out. Did you have any idea that you were going to react that way? A little yes, a little bit because when my brother, because there's fortune your difference between me and my brother, and so I remember dropping him off at preschool, and I remember giving my mom crap back in the day because she'd be like crying when she left. Mom, I was not a big deal, and then the first time I dropped him off by myself and he called me me me when I was a kid. He said, He's like, arms me me. I was like, oh my god, I was. I just started like bawling. I was like, I have to leave. I felt like the worst person in the world leaving him crying. Yeah, And I thought I was going to be the one crying. And this time Mike literally would not like. I was like, Michael, we have to go. And then so she starts crying because he's like clinging onto her, and I was like, let go of her, like we have your making her upset. She's such a daddy's girl now. So that's why I was easier for Jenna to leave, because she just loves her some daddy. Um okay, but that's late. Yeah, when Mama's boy, my little baby bull came over, came over, it's going to be cuddle movie. I just wanted. All they want to do is cuddle with you. Even the flight attendants on the plane last night when I'm coming back from out of town, they were Jane was in the bat We're talking about kids, and they recognized Janna and they both had boys, and Jane's in bathroom, like it was your daughter Daddy's girls, Like she's become one recently, Yeah, and they're like, oh, just wait till you have that boy. He's going to be all over her. I was like, I know, I keep hearing that, So your time will come. Don't worry, honey. I mean she's still a mom, like when she's sick, when she like you know what I mean, Like that's when she's like mama. But she's definitely like switched gears to Michael, which is great because we're gonna need that when the baby comes toosolutely. It's a good transition. Yeah, for sure, I know what else would you guys? But up too, Well, we went out of town for a little project way to go back to Nashville take care of a few things. Um so yeah, we did that and then we got back late last We're literally there for twenty four hours. Yeah, it was a crazy whirlwind twenty four hours. So it was it was nuts, but it was great. Like I'm excited to like talk about that. We can't right now, but we're very excited to share in the future. But I know, but it was funny. Michael made fun of me so bad yesterday in the airport. Will we just say this? So, so we're going home this weekend to um his dad's retirement. It's a surprise party. So we're flying to Virginia on Thursday, like having this whole thing. So his mom texted us in a group chat and was like, what do you guys want Thursday night for dinner? Fohitos or tacos. I hate fahitas, which is news to me, not news. Never order him never or you never verbally said I hate I have, but he doesn't. He has selective hearing. So I was like, taca, he goes fahitas and I'm like what you know? She said tacos. I was like no, and I was like, how could he say that? You know? So I'm thinking, I'm thinking she's gonna side with me, and you know, I'm a mom's boy. I'm like, it's my mama asking and she's like, sorrygnant pregnant lady wins. And he said he sends a gift of like, um, something fair, it said someone crying. I think it's not fair. And then I set a gift back of like this pregnant lady waddling saying this isn't fair either. So I win, but then you can. Yeah. So we're walking through. Jane is trying to convince me that she's told me that she doesn't like Bahitas, and I'm like, no, you've never told me that. So we're walking through uh Is. When we got back to l A No in the National Airport, National Airport, we're walking to her flight and Jan Jane was that we didn't get much sleep the previous like twenty four hours. Jane is a little loopy and slap happy, and Eastern gets your blue button ready. Jane is sitting there times like he doesn't hate you. I never liked him. And as she's saying that, how much I hate Theahita like you know me, like I never I've never acting ordered them. I freaking hate them like that, just going off almost like I'm yelling at like we're having an argument. Almost. Yeah, But it was all fun and playful, and this lady that works for Southwest comes over out of nowhere and comes up and was like Pahita and she comes up like Jane. She's like, oh hi, oh my gosh, thank you so much. Are you're such a sweetheart? Thinker I really okay, And then she walks away and then she's like, how dare you I have a question about the feta. What don't you like about grilled vegetables or grilled chicken? I'm just gross. I think it's disgusting. And then the and then the I like, I like one of those things called to like flower tortias, but it has to have the crunch tortilla involved with it. What do you mean? Then the heart, so I would like justice. Okay, so, but I've never liked grilled vegetables with the just steak and chicken, like, that's just the grossest. I don't understand people that gross. Give me a sizzling plotter of like sizzling grilled vegetables. No, I could not be hungry at and I smell for he is walking past me and I'm hungry. That's so I think they're so gross. Either way, I won, and we're getting tacos on Thursday, so it's Taco Thursday. I win. Pregnant Lady wins. Sorry, oh yeah, but this is also fun. So now you know we're going home to like the mom territory. You know, it's like Mama's boys going to be back home. Sorry you last year Pregnant Pregnant your wife, tacos. It's all going to be about jolly anyway. They haven't seen him, Sarah, do you have the ring? Bab? No, no, not yet. But you did do the ultimatum that we've been in intense ten days. When was the last time I was with you? Yeah? And serious? How did he react? Um? This is the thing. He is the nicest guy ever. He literally was like so excited for just the He was like that was so awesome, Like good for your voice. Yeah, and I'm like yeah, but we like shoot on you for an hour and a half. Yeah, And he was like no, I mean he doesn't care. He's heard worse things to his face, you know, like I've said worse than her thing. No, he but he got the message. So before, like Janna said, before I came out, I couldn't wait. I was like yeah, right, And so I just was like listen, not a big deal. It wasn't scary, it wasn't intense. I was like, look, I love you, you you love me. I want I want to marry you. And if you don't want to marry me, that's totally fine, but tell me. And if if you do want to marry me, I need a ring. Okay, So are you managing your expectations so that you don't Yeah, because, like Janna said, it's been six years, I mean almost, you know, what's another couple of months? And like again he's just well Michael and asked he he's aware that it's Yeah, just Janna was telling me, you know that she he was agreed to the year or whatever. And so is it the end of two thousand and eighteen or is it a year from now? Oh? No, the end of two thousand wedding? Yeah. And even though I was like, Janna is like, no, the sumber thirty, like you wait it out. You cannot say one more thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And I agreed when Jane said that to me, I was like, you cannot make a joke. You cannot say a single thing, y know the jokes. This is now my safe zone. So we will talk about it here. We will joke here now. I'm like, whatever, Hey, honey, do you like our sheets that we sleep on? Yeah? I love ours? You know why why do we love them? Because they're Brooklyn and Brooklyn is the fastest growing bedding brand in the world, m over twenty th five star reviews. They're so comfortable, and what I love about them is they're so affordable. 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I was which one alpha kay Omega, Michael, were you I mean football is a fraternity? No, I mean it is in college athletics. Your team is your own fraternity. I mean I got a long had plenty of guys that were framed. So no athlete was allowed to be in a fraternity. Nots not that they weren't allowed. You don't have time for any of that with athletic, whether it's all caesar and so you have no time for where any of your girlfriends and soorities. Yes, my college girlfriend was in Oh she was remember I want to talk about her anyways. Um, So I didn't hear What did you say about sororities? I just don't. I just don't get it, Like, I just don't. I don't feel like the girls are being honest with their like everybody. Yeah, and then it's I just don't get that, Like I'm like, no, I don't believe that it's all like unicorns and rainbows and skulls. I don't know. I it wasn't my goal when I went to college to join authority. It just was not me. It was not something I was interested in. My mom was in authority, um, and I remember talking with her about it and She was like, do you want to join authority? And it was like, I don't think so It's not me and I am a girl's girl. I have tons upfront women who are friends. I support them. I love all of my girlfriends, and I just I didn't have time. I really didn't have time. I only because I grew up in Texas like everyone and you know, everyone does that, but I mostly did it because I went to Arizona State and I didn't know anyone, and so I was like, what am I gonna do. I'm either going to cry my first year or I'm gonna, like who knows, end up with a weird crop. So I was like, I'm just gonna do it, and if it goes well, it goes well. You can always drop whatever. And how did you get in there? Like what was your rush thing? Because that, to me is like dangerous. I wouldn't want Jolie like doing like these crazy rush stuff. I mean that's why that's I mean, kids die from that. They're like, it's like, I don't want I think guys are way more intense. I mean I didn't get hated by the time I went. I mean they're serious, you know, they couldn't haze. I didn't get hated at all, you know, so there was no bab break. They're cutting down on that. I was so media I mean, I mean, you're right, like guys have died, you know, being drinking, drinking themselves to death, Like nothing like that ever happened. I mean they were Arizona State really cracked out. I would not say our greek life was booming. I mean, my sister went to Alabama. Now that is some greek life. Oh will you explain that a little more? What is greek life? So I think, oh my god, I don't even know the stats, but like let's say at a s U, I'd say thirty of the campus were like involved in greek life. So that means guys were in fraternity's, girls were in sororities that whole. Did you guys have a Greek crow? We the guys did, but it got like demolished a year later, and like we didn't have Like I didn't live in a house. I did not live in the sorority house. Like I didn't do any of that. Now, my sister, i'd say, at Alabama, I mean, like we're gonna get a lot of hate mail. But I'd say maybe like eighty percent. I mean I think everyone on that camp it yeah, I mean there was like a hundred and fifty girls in my sorority. I think there was like three her Okay, so that's a completely different experience. But I mean I have to agree with I forget who said it, but they were like, it's just like a last name. Like, yeah, I have four sisters in general, and we fight like cats and dogs. But at the end of the day, whatever, you know. But that's kind of how sorority was. Was my friends with everyone. No did I hate anyone towards the end, but thank you for being honest. Oh my god. No, I mean, but that's the thing. Like my the girls I met the first ten days are still I have two of them still my best friends, best friends. So there's that. But no do I talk to have no, I know a big thing too. Like my school, James Madison, our greek life wasn't huge. It was probably under of the school was a part of that sorority of fraternity. But from the outside looking in, I do understand that it is a you know, it is a camaraderie thing where it's just like if you meet someone randomly and you figure out they went to a s U instantly. It's something where if you meet someone that went to that was in Cappa Alpha fraternity, you're like, oh, you're in KA like I wasn't like, and immediately there's some kind of networking there. Especially in the professional world. I hear a lot about that from buddies that were in fraternities that's helped them a lot. And even i mean one of the girls I lived without here, I lived with her for the last five years. She was alf Comega at ut So it's just things like that where it But no, there is a well I'm glad hazing is kind of is it done done? I mean, it's still there. But I know when I was leaving college, that's when things really started cracking down. That was two thousand nine. So ever since then, I'm sure I just got even stricter and stricter because that's when social media really started ramping up and there's more exposure on what was going on behind closed doors. So I'm sure there's some that is there, But I mean, shoot, even in professional athletics, the hazing has decreased since when I was in What do you mean rookie hazing though they do that. Yeah, yeah, like they do like run around with your pee wee out. I mean there were things. It would depend you know. The worst of it was, you know, a big thing on a lot of teams was rookies are taped to the goal post. No no, no, not naked like in their paths or whatever. It maybe cold water dumped on them or stuff dumped on them. Um. I've seen guys like taped up and thrown in the cold tub and had um like icy hot rubbed on them or something like. That's like the worst. That's like the worst of stuff. The more of the fun stuff is rookie haircuts. That's back when I had hair you know, I did that. You'd have to if you you know, I was in Jackson in my rookie year, so you had a storm come through and you had to go into the locker room for a little bit until it cleared. Rookies get up and sing, dance off, go, you know, would be that kind of stuff. So but still there's still things in some professional athletics. There's a kid, you know, guy Miami, the head issues with racial a few few old hazing that was an issue and so it's out there, but I think it's really died down all over the country. Which what was your karaoke song? What did I sing? Um? I sang oh shy if I ever fall in love the acapella song? Yeah, it's because a little bit. You gotta pay for that. Come on, let's than for free. But you have. The key is to sing a song that you know everyone's gonna know, you know, especially you know, whites are the are the minority in the professional athletic UH room. So you guys saying a song that appeals to the brothers a little bit. Well, well, I'm feeling very unsafe about this conversation because hazing scares me. But I'll tell you what makes me safe. That can't protect your We have to can I can run in my house and lock my door, and if my alarm goes off and I'm gonna be you know, then the police come and they can get get you. Um. I love a d T. We have it in um in our house in Nashville. Um. It's one of those where I just feel I feel secure, I feel knowing. I like knowing that my daughter and I are safe and my family obviously, But I mean I feel real safe when you're obviously in bed next to me, but when you travel and you're gone. I love knowing that a d T protects us. Yeah, it makes us both feel safer. It makes me feel safer when I do have to travel and I'm gone, knowing that you enjoy are in good hands exactly. And you can set up custom automations unique to your home to automatically do things like lock the door, set the thermostat when you leave, which is you know, huge because sometimes we forget to set that. You can even close your garage door from virtually anywhere. So so many things a d T can do not only keep you safe, but also help your home become more of a smart home device. UM security features like indoor and outdoor camera, locks, lights, garage door, all of that. So UM worry free getaway service a DT automation to arm your system, lock up and set lighting schedules before going on vacation, which I think is awesome. I want all of you guys to feel safe in your home. I want your family, everyone to be safe. So please visit a DT dot com slash smart to learn more about how a d T can design and install a secure smart home just for you, ADT dot com slash smart and we are so happy to be sponsored by a d T. So I wanted to get more insight on sororities, especially since after we had the podcast last week, we had a sorority outcry. Um, the sisters were running away the camaraderie they're banding together. Not all of the stories are good, though they're coming together interesting. As I read all the emails, will read some on the air, but I would say from the hundreds of emails, it was very split. As a sorority girl. You know, I'm being truthful because I loved every minute of it. They were very split people who just didn't like their experience at all. Sorry we're trying. Sorry eating cookies at the same time. So I would say half loved it, loved it, of course it's not perfect, but loved it. The other half was divided between people who did it and didn't like it, or I thought it was so like Janna that they didn't even want to do it. Yeah, no, no desire. But what I sometime have a hater, you know, like I love girls, you would have actually thrived. No, I would not have. Girls are so mean and I get I'm so sensitive. I there were some bitches, but like you literally it's like you find the ones you like and then you're good and you don't even there's no issue. I'm just too sensitive and I care too much about people, what people think about. I do a drink in a girl's face, like I do the same, Like I did that for one of my sister I was m alpha co Omega and the way the way that you guys say it, I was a well but like, no, it's true, like even like Toria's like I was kept cap it. No, I'm definitely in the middle. I loved it. But there were I mean there were girls I physically like, yeah, I love Honestly, it's too busy going to see bands. I was too busy working. Okay, people like I didn't go to college, all right, they have. There was a couple of scary seniors and what's weird now twenty years later is I still know them. And the scary senior is like shocked that she was scary. She's like, what do you mean like scary? I'm so nice and I'm like, you were so scary, But like I still loved it. I mean that's like part of it. I like the front parties. I did go to the front parties. I've done a few cug stands. In mind, I don't drink. Here's the thing I think. I don't drink beer. I've never done a sit. I've never drank a full beer. I've never been drunk. Like it's just not Michael, please do not roll your eyes. I've never been drunk. I've never had the spins. I've never thrown up. But there's things that you can do in it that are you know, like you have a philanthropy, Like there are things that like the Bunnies. No, actually actually Alpha Omega was domestic violence and we worked. We worked a lot with the Phoenix sojourn or Center. But there's things that you can do. You could have been president, you know what I mean, Like there's things that you can do without having to be a black you. But if I wasn't president, I'd be mad. That's the thing. If I'm not the top, then I'm not going to want to do. That's why you would have been good, because you would have wanted to win. Like I was the vice president of recruitment. It was fun, but like so you did all the hazing, got it okay, cool, I also okay, well this is like boring me. Let's wait, did you only date frat boys of course? Well, well I had a frat boy boyfriend, but Ty was not in a frat, so I had a you were cheating on time. I had a boyfriend like sophomore in junior year when he was in a prop. Okay, and then I lied too because I stated athletes. Okay, so certainly all you shorty girls are liars. Let's talk to Robin. So she's on mine twelve right now. I want to hear about her experience. Hey, Robin, hi there, how are you? Oh good? I just got a room full of sorority listeners right now. We just we just want to hear the drama and the love, and I want to know the good, bad, the ugly and everything else. Oh wow, uh oh boy? How long do you have tell me that? Tell me the high? Tell me your tell me your number one high and your number one low. Okay, My high definitely my experience going to small California school, and that was amazing, very easy. I didn't realize I was supposed to be stressed about it. Everyone got a house, everyone was happy where they were super easy. My bad experience is I have a daughter who is currently in college and a southern university. I don't want, I don't want to name any names. But the rust is attended by mom. The rush is attended by mom's. Yeah, it's a thing. Just generations of sisters terrifying their witches. You have rust coaches for at least a year prior to rush coached. Stop. So this is where I'm like, ridiculous. There's a sorority packet you have to prepare. You can go online and order it monogram to different colors with the professional photo photos. Why would you let her do this? I didn't know it was going to be this bad, and everyone else was quote unquote doing it and spreight panning hair and makeup. I mean, stop it. This is like a insane Okay, then the worst worst parting that stuff wasn't the worst part. The worst worst part is they go through the whole rust of experience and then they have the last days, you know, bid day where they get to decide between one or two houses, assuming they have that many left, and they bring all the girls who are left at this point, a hundred and seventy six girls who quit and thirteen and so far been cut completely. And as they say, you are going to sit on an envelope for an hour while we left you about how great story life is. And then a crack of five pm, you open your envelope, find out which story you got. Some of you might not have any that you thought you were gonna have, and some of you might have none at all. But either way, as soon as you open this, you get to run through the middle of campus for thousands of people and I'm not joking. TV crews, alumni for Turnity's lying the streets come out and watch you run. Even if you didn't get a house. The girls are crying they've got nothing. They didn't get a house they wanted, or they're beyond thrills. They got exactly what they wanted. And those girls are you know, the girls that didn't get anything. Off the run, the left, the run day Cruel Alabama in the house. And then you have to watch your daughter cry and run across the field. Oh it's awful. Yeah, my dad got with you probably should have gotten but she didn't get what she wanted at her top choice, and so she was, you know, a complete mass. And so I was a complete mass. I'm calling my husband crying, like we just can't do This's like this wasn't you resting? Remember that? Whatever? How much did it cost? How much was the investment to actually get her to that point? Well, you mean the flight there, the hotel room, the hair and makeup, the clothing, um, a lot. I didn't tell my husband how much, but I'm guessing probably like a thousand bucks at Leaf, maybe two thousand, and then you have paid for the authority. It was this far more sense than it was in my day. I just don't understand all that. I'm especially like, what if she didn't run, would they, like, you know, shoot her in the back with an arrow, like you know, like Indians and cowboys days, Like if you just run away, you don't, there's no way not to run. Everyone's circles you like, you can't, you have to run. That's bully, that's that's I think those are bullies. Those girls are bullies. Why would you want to be like them? Yeah, the other moms are like I literally found myself on the last night alone in the bar with my head on the barbing rock meat bottom, like the vodka, Oh I just nice night. Pull southern woman comes over? Is that you, Robin O, Hey, how are you don't look well, I'm not really you want to know how well, I'm not. You's a crazy And but here's the thing. Those moms are sorority girls. Those were sisters. So it's like, that's my point. Those girls are witches, like they're not good. Is not anything I can relate to for the experience I had in California, And I'll just say it, I went to Berkeley. I mean, it's like the most mellow, different plan so but when you go to the more like extreme southern Alabama kind of stuff, not saying you're at Alabama, but yeah, I mean that's like But again, I guess maybe that's what I don't like. That's that's the sorority type. I don't like. Well, that's like the stereo. I mean, I say, I did not have anything like that, but that's what I thought of. You know, when you think of sorority, that's what that's like. Yeah, Robert, did you find that any other moms had a lot of issues with this or is it something where these sorority moms, because they went through that process, they don't look at it as negative as it clearly is well. For sure, the people who are the southern women whose grandma and great grandma or how they seemed a lot more comfortable, definitely devastated when their kids didn't make necessarily what they wanted. But the way men who are from say California or I met some from Idaho in various places like that were blown away and super sick about it, even if their kids got what they wanted. This experience is just it does not feel good. And they actually at the school, there's a joke. The day after mid day is called you Holliday for all the girls who quit school wish when school calm on. It is literally a running joke. They had to change the tuition at the university to the day before mid day so that you pay your tuition leaving. Oh, this is ridiculous. I'm saying. I'm just playing the opposite because I was a legacy. My mom was in the exact same house I was in at the exact same school. We slept in the same bedroom, like I mean he did years later my Karen elope from the sorority, like they eloped from the Yeah, my like was your dad in the front, Yeah, but time he was already in law school, and so my mom was young and he came and got her from the story and people threw Rice out the sothroity windows. Stop it. But my experience is nothing like Robin's daughter. But unfortunately there are experiences like this that that is. What is that? I think to me more typical, yeah, than more the norm where it's like, I think maybe you had the not typical norm. I think it just depends where you go to schools. But but asked Sarah, like, did you love it? No, that's what I was saying. I don't know if you. I totally loved it, but I I went into it knowing I'm obviously out of way less intense school, so it's not gonna. I didn't take it that seriously. Did your sister in Alabama like it? Oh? Yeah, she loved it, But I mean again, she so she was a legacy obviously because I was in a sorority. She didn't. She got dropped from them because her grades weren't good enough. And she's like whatever, Like, you can look at it two ways. She's like, yeah, I wasn't smart, my grades physically weren't high enough. Sorry, Docca, But she's sorry sorry, your sisters, but because everywhere they're different, and she's like, whatever, I got dropped? So what she got the ring? Yeah she did. And I think that's way more intense at at a southern school. I mean all of her, all of her sorority sisters are married to their little front boy. Like that's like a real thing. Well, Robin, how is how is your daughter now? She she loves where she is. As far as the stority goes, I mean, I think it's a lot to keep up with being a California kid. There's just a lot of things have to think about and how they threst and what they were so critical and my experience in California where I think I got up to like two cities wearing shoulder paths and like big sweaters and totally different, probably different. These girls are all of like supermodels. It's I think it it would kill me. I just think it's giving out the wrong image of what you have to look like and be, especially in this day and age too, where it's like I don't want Jolie to have to see like, oh I have to look this way, addressed this way, post these kind of pictures on social media to try to like fit in and be like one of those girls. I don't want to. It's not the most diverse environment. And that's coming from California, where we have complete diversity, where we live. With a bit of a shock for my daughter and yeah, well, Robin, I appreciate you sharing your story. Tell your daughter. We said good luck and uh go Sororities, thanks for having um. So you were just on this website. I was. I was on a flight to New York and I was like, oh, threat up. I wanted to look for all of my free People stuff. Golden Goose Tonnish has great brands, amazing. I did about an hour and a half and I should be getting a ton of boxes. But I love it because it's but it's great because it's like you're not paying full price on these really nice brands, which like Lula Lemon, Free People, those brands are expensive. They're really expensive, and they have the there's so much and you can search by brand, you can search by size, you can if you're looking for shoes, you can search by color. I mean it's incredible. It was so much fun. I love the fact too that they have kids clothing because for for us like Jolie is growing out of her clothes like crazy. So it's really nice to be able to go online and search for kids clothing. That's really again, really nice and you don't have to pay full price for it. Right. So threat up is a consignment online store and again it's fantastic. Um it's the largest online consignment and throwt store with up to nine off estimated retail value. That's nine percent off plus. If you go to throat up dot com slash Janna today, you'll get an extra off your first order. So that's like, I mean, that's that's a really good deal. Like not going to do the math, but so drink your wine and go to thread off. You know, it's great. So if you love to shop, you need to check out these deals. I'm threat up Plus. If you sign up now, you get an extra thirty percent off your first order at threat up dot com slash Janna. Make sure there's no A and read up. It's thread t h r E d up dot com slash Janna. That's thread up dot com slash Janna for an extra thirty off today. Happy shopping, all right, So we have another caller. Her daughter guys is going through rush today sweat Julie, are you on the line, babe? I am. Your daughter is going through the process today. She is, she's rushing today. Well, there's orientation tonight, so she has to learn about what will be happening over the next week. Are you nervous. I'm kind of nervous for her, only because I did it a long long time ago, So I am nervous for her. What region is she and you don't have to say the school? She's in Northern California. Did you have to do crazy things for rush? Uh? Nothing crazy? Just um. You just hit you know, five or six houses a day. It was just exhausting and the end of the day, Yeah, you kind of had a better feel for which house she were leaning towards. In which is she leaning towards? Um, I'd say she's leaning towards two or three different houses. I'd say, yeah, I don't know if you want to know the actual one. Okay, one would be Kappa and the other would be probably Pi PI. And you were like totally on board when she came to and was like, hey, mom, so I want to be in a sorority. Oh yeah, definitely, because I did it and it was the best time of my life. I told her, Yeah, what were the benefits? The benefits you mean, Frinch, I'd say, when you're going to a new school and you don't really know anyone, uh, the first day, you basically are introduced to you know, thirty or so girls, at least at the school I went to. Those were the girls that you were kind of going around with for a week. And I will tell you in those for a few days, those girls that I met are still my best friends today. Some of them went we all went into the same house, but um, some of us didn't. But we're all still like that, like that's chill. The story that we just heard was like frightening, frightening Yeah, oh really yeah, I mean just like what they have to do for the rush and they're bawling their eyes out and it's like, come on, you know. It just seems like I heard that we didn't have that though at the school I went to. So yeah, but I have heard that. I've got friends right now whose daughter did not get into out. Let me throw something out. Sorry, sorry to cut you off, Julie. Yeah, there is some element to it that is like real life. You don't get every job you apply for not everybody is going to be your best friend. So I'm just yeah, but I don't have But I don't have to play stupid games to get a job, do you know what I mean? That's like I don't have to like, I don't have to do these silly things to get a job. But once you're in, like it kind of hold you accountable, like you have to have you have to maintain your grades. I mean I got put on academic probation because no I did. I couldn't go to any of the parties because I know, we look, I was there for one reason and one reason only. Okay, I was trying to have fun and find a husband, and I did of it. And that why the girls go to college, literally it is to get their mrs de grade. So I think that it goes like it did hold me accountable. You know, there are like pluses for it, and there are like real world issues like you know, if you don't get your house or there were girls that had to co exist with it. I mean, oh my god, stories, the stories, but it teaches you there are some there are some life lessons, but then there is symbols out and I'll tell you I got one point nine my first semester, and I had the best time in my life. However, yeah, I didn't get initiated. I would me and one other girl at a thirty girl didn't not get initiated and had to wait and humiliate did and had to wait a whole other months. So the other girls got into shape and I didn't. Yeah, they helped me. I think I got a point nine one semester. You did not. Yeah, it's like two fs and incomplete and like a c Yeah was that before after you got kicked out? That was going on my way and he got kicked out of college for first semester. Thanks for bringing that up. That will be another Come on, it's a real talk, right now, get real talk. Excumely, what will you tell your daughter she calls you and she's having a bad experience and like gets dropped by houses? Uh, let's see, I'll probably tell her just to suck it up? Was it meant to be? And there? Yeah? Seriously, I mean, we're not a real I don't know, we don't We're not that emotional of a family. So I would I basically say, well, a girlfriend, they were probably just a bunch of bitches. Anyways. Yeah, I like your mama and where you'll be will be and make the best of it. Yeah A men, Sistor, Well, I appreciate your authenticity and I wish her luck and we wish her luck today. Tell her that the Wine Down Crew wishes her luck. All right, thanks, Julie Fight. My question to you guys right now is why are you still taking trips to the post office to mail letters and packages when you can get postage on demand with stamps dot com. Have you guys ever used this for It's really easy. I'm always looking for a stamp though, I know right exactly, and it's frustrating when you have to wait, you know, you know same, But it's easy to do it from home. So stamps dot com you can access all the amazing services of the post office right from your death. So literally, if you want, yeah, if you go on your laptop right now you need stamps, all you have to do is go to stamps dot com. It's incredibly easy. They actually even send you a um a scale, So if you're like, I don't know how much my package is going to weigh, not a problem, They send you a scale. It's super easy and the mail carrier picks it up. All you have to do is printing at your house. I know it's clip print mail, right, I know it's crazy. It's crazy, so right now, use promo code Janna for this special offer. It includes up to fifty five dollars free postage, sign up right now, digital scale and a four week trial. So do not wait. Go to stamps dot com before you do anything else. Click on the radio microphone at the top the homepage and type in Janna. That's damps dot com and enter Janna. Hey, we got some emails and Marcus here email reader. Thank you a lot of sorority emails. I picked out some favorite topic, isn't it? And some cons? What would you like first to pro or con? I'm a glass half empty, so let's go at the con, especially when it comes to sorit. Nicole says, my friend was hazed doing terrible things such as sitting Indian style, which I believe we now refer to as Cris cross apple sauce. Yes, what it's not appropriate. Indian style is not appropriated because offensive to Native Americans, and Julie will start coming home, and she will because they teach it in preschool. Chris cross apple sauce, not Indian style. No, absolutely, and you were no longer an Indian giver. Although I think Indian summer might be okay, I'm a double check that anyway, but no, but I'm sorry, just real fast. It's something so politically correct that, you know, Chris, and what's wrong with saying like an Indian I think they're beautiful sitting Indian style. I think it's beautiful. Who cares? But if they gets a stereotype that all the Native Americans sit a certain way, you know, like around a campfire, right, correct? Sorry, I didn't mean to get us off out of tangent. Well, I'm sitting Indian style right now, and I'm very happy with it. So this was part of the next week. Seven hours she squatted holding bricks, She got screamed at, being treated like crap. And then you make it into the sorority and now you're best friends with these girls. Um, yeah, no thanks. I can make friends without having to do these terrible things and not talking crap behind each other's backs. Yeah, right, A big group of girls and no one talks crap. That's bull. These girls talk so much assets unreal. Eventually you go to college with no friends and you buy your friendships. Not for me. Now, if there was really a sorority, there was candy in presence, then signed me up. You guys are awesome. Love the show and Jeanne, I love how down to earth you are and although you are a celebrity, you seem so real. All right, I love her, I love her. She's great. But by the way, like that sounds awful. Never can you imagine? I haven't either, I experience. I've seen it in the movies to the meanest thing that happened to me was one girl asked if I could spell her last name, which I can can to these two ways to else. Can you sell my listening? I'm just kidding, Yeah I can. Well, that's insane. Let's let's cleanse our palates with Jessica. Jessica says I was in a sorority in college Alpha Kay Omega anyone Lights. She says, yes, there was drama, but I met four best friends. We all graduated in two thousand nine and went are separate ways. There have been five of us living in four states, and we've gone months without talking. Two thousand and sixteen, we had a girl's reunion weekend in Chicago and there were two kids. All five of us had babies. It's been the most amazing experience of my life. This mama tribe is so important to me, and I would never have met these friends without the sorority. Sarah's goose, I'm so embarrassing. We are all always there for each other, from the beginning, through miscarriages, struggles to get pregnant, now horror stories of teething and toddler is going crazy. Yeah, there was some drama and girls I didn't get along with in college, but I love them all and I love watching them grow on their lives even though we were not ends. Then there's a bond that will never be broken. Well that's sweet, Jessica. They're like double tapping on every install photo that they post. And what's even funnier is like the girls that like you, weren't friends with. Yeah, I see them like right on Janice pictures stop, So they're still there even though they're still talking you. Oh they're talking you but like you, And they're like are they happy? Maybe no, they're jealous. Friend, Let's swing back the other way. This is another jest with her nightmare experience. I was in a chapter for about six months before I started dating a guy in a fraternity at my same school. He was in a leadership position in his frat. I was running for VP and mine six months later, I was VP and in charge of our recruitment, but also second hand to our president. I even with that guy for a while now, and I loved him. So one day I'm on his computer doing some homework and saw a text come from one of his friends that read, did you do her? I clicked on it and read the text beoot him his friend, and I found that he had slept with the current president of my sorority, who blatantly knew of my relationship and took pictures of her naked and sent them to his friends in his fraternity. I left his place with no explanation, and I waited till my sorority's next chapter meeting, where I called out the president for her character and tried to have her removed as president. My plan was to drop the sorority, because why would I want to be a part of something where the women don't respect their sisterhood. The whole soroity thing is bs and click oriented and not worth the time and money. But y'all her sisters. No, that's actually that that's screwed up. That's a rough one. And finally Aaron and then a positive shout out to Amy for defending sorority girls. Mine was big. There were girls that didn't like my pled class with sixty five plus girls, not everyone got along, but I held a special place in my heart for each and every Kappa Alpha Theta. The experiences and life lessons gave me something I would never take back for a second. And by the way, you don't have to drink or get drunk to in a sorority. I did plenty of sober activities with my sisters. My sorority was being known as the smart girls on campus with the highest gp A for fifteen years in a row. To each their own, but don't knock it. I won't knock it. And one last thing, you know, now that we're I had friends, Like one of my best girlfriends was in a different sorority, and so, I mean, I don't know if that happens everywhere, but that's what I liked. You know, I didn't just have to be with you know, Rachel was a d G. Okay, other Rachel was a data so still friends with Rachel's. I just actually was in San Francisco had coffee with her. But again, I don't know if that's everywhere, you know, but because you might not be able to go out, you might. Yeah, but I love that that, you know, we could kind of vent about our tribes to other tribes. I mean, I'm glad people have had great experiences. I'm sorry for the ones that have had have had bad. But I think that's that's the part that I just I can't get on board, you know. Sometimes I you know, it would it be fun to go do like an speriment and go spend like a week with Mirity. Yeah, and that'd be I actually would like I've always wanted to do that, like to go back to like either high school or college and like t like that. Um, I haven't even for Sarah, this is not frat related, sorority related by sisters. Yeah, Jamie says, I'm in a similar situation is Sarah. But I'm thirty four. We've been together only two years. My boyfriend is forty two divorced. We've lived together over a year. When we first got together, he said, twelve months. Then when a year came and went I had no ring. I brought it up again. He said eighteen months. Again, six more months, no ring. When or two year anniversary rolled around, I set him down and I said to him, I gave up having a second child for you. I will not give up marriage. It is not too late for me. So if you don't plan on putting a ring on in the next twelve months, you tell me right now. He was scared. He said he would absolutely propose to me in the next six months. So now I'm enjoying the as a patient. I'm keeping my hair, skin and nails looking good looking every holiday, birthday and the event we have coming up. Her man is not stupid. He chose her and he will not let her go. I hope she gets everything she deserves it more YouTube Jana whatever, Wait, what do we call your fans? Like the downs? Like oh my god, the love? Yeah, you got a lot, I got a lot. I mean that was no joke. And I don't know. I feel like I got so many messages that were like that that We're like, I've been with him for nine and I've been with him for seven. I've been with him for eight, and I think that just kind of made me realize. Okay, I don't. I don't want that to be me. Just make sure you keep your nails looking nice. This is a great engagement color. Do you know why I was thinking that? Is that like bubble gum? Something is? And I actually told Tigo just for the record, if they're hot pink, you better you better call someone. Someone better take me to get my He's like, what's wrong? I go, I didn't wait this long to have hot pink nails. Who's gonna be here for? Is called when you get engaged? I don't know, because I'm hoping that like, and are you going to post a picture before you tell people? You have to? Please just tell me first before you put out. No, I'm not gonna put it for like a moment, because this I feel like this is something that like I want us to be like get our moment. Have you thought about the kind of picture that you wanted to post? Because it should be I mean, it should she lives her life like a Kardashian or you want to that's like it's like you know what I mean. I think it should be like like holding a hockey puck, but that's hilarious, But no, like a glass of champagne or just drinking cop on the Sunday morning. Oh, you're not really telling people, but people are like like where they just like oh, I think so, it's not like I hate the single ring or like him like right, oh please no no no no no no no no. I have a question for you though, because I was wondering about this, because we are obsessed with the Kardashians so much. Do you want the extravagant proposal? Like what what would it be your dream propose? I know when I heard so, I think now, to be honest, I'm just happy. I'm just gonna be happy to get it. I don't want it to be in public, and I don't know if I want like a big extravagant thing, because that's not him and it's not really I mean when I helped plan my sisters, he did it in her house and then we were all like the people there. I think I've always said, like, I just it's a celebrate. I want to celebrate, like I want to party, especially for waiting this long, Like I want us to be surrounded and have fun. After My friends are like, that's so weird, why would you want us involved? I'm like because we've all been in this together, you know, like this is something I want everyone. I don't know, but I mean, like honestly, like if we were in bed and he just like, I'd be happy, Well I have something in my pillow case, you would be so. But I don't want it to be like in public, like I do not want to be like you don't want to hear online right here? No, not dinner or not public. I don't know what am I saying. I don't even know. You don't want Janna to pull you guys up on stage? She would die. I mean, it only feels right that Jenna was there because I mean, I feel like she's really got the ball rolling I do, you've really put this emotion. I'm the one that grabbing his balls. No, you are what are you doing? No? I actually kind of felt I felt, I mean, I've never done this. So when the podcast came out, I was like a little nervous, and then I was like, you know what, what's what's there? If this is meant to be, it's meant to be and I'm having a voice and I'm using it. And then when all those people started texting me and jamming me, I was like, it's all, it all makes sense, like there's nothing to be ashamed of. I was like, really, I'm like, I'm having everyone come out here to listen to me say I can't get my boyfriend to marry me. But yeah, I'm like, it's nothing. Hey, switching gears a second. Um, do you guys? Maybe this is because I'm I want to I want to talk about this, but I like don't want to talk about because I'm scared if maybe the person is listening. But do you guys have a friend that you had? It's like, I don't know preschool, it could be like a childhood friend, but you've grown apart, but you kind of but you were still like it was your best friend in high school as your best friend. But it's like, but do you have to be best friends now? I just talked to her last night. Really, I've known her since I was four. She was my first friend. She's my best friend. We've gone through some years where we didn't talk at all, but our friendship as soon as we reconnect, you always picked up exactly. It's like no time has passed. I know her better than her sisters know her, and she knows me better than my sisters will ever know me. I mean, we've met in it. We lived together in college. We did she put an effort though she has two kids, and she lives in Matro Detroit, and we lived very very different lives, very different lives. Um, we both put in. I'm going to say we talked to each other on the phone maybe two or three times a year. Um. But we we are active on social media, so we know whatever what we're doing. And and I love her more than anything. And to get a call from her last night, it was awesome. And I was thinking about her thirty minutes before she called. When you have an old friend that you're not friends with anymore, well, it's not that we're not friends anymore. It's because I have I have plenty of friends where you know, I have I have a one of my skating girlfriend's Missy, Like we've always been friends. We pick up where we leave off every time I've seen her. I mean, there's I have plenty of friends like that. I mean, just like my friend jen Wayne, she's you know, she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. I don't talk to her much because she's she's in runaway. June she's always on the road. Um, but I know what she's doing obviously, like from social media, and we always pick up where we leave off. But I have this one girlfriend where when we've been friends since middle school, but god, I'm like, I'm like, oh my god, I'm I stepping into like a dog pile right now of like stuff. But everyone can ye everyone, it's just setting it up. She didn't. She didn't call me or text me when I had my two miscarriages last year. She didn't, you know, text me when she found out that I was because it said, here's the thing, Like, I mean, did I call people like I? Yess? I told some of my Nashville girls that I had a miscarriage. I told you Sarah that had miscarriage, you know, and then I posted online. I know she's on social media, but you would think that someone that you have been best friends with since since middle school would have reached out and been like, I don't care how busy you are with your two kids and your job. It hurt my feelings that you didn't reach out. Also, I've always felt like she reached out for something like and it's like and maybe because I'm not, I go I go, I bet you the second I am on something again, she will reach out. And the second that you know I did, family feuders like, oh my god, I'm like, of course, why are you just attracted now to my personality as opposed to now like me and I think like we had a little bit of like a you know, I don't think she understood why I took Mike back. I don't think her husband like that I took Mike back, but it was and maybe that was the strain there, but there was never like I have such deeper relationships now with other people that I'm like, but why do I keep calling her my best friend? And I don't think that's my best friend anymore. She's not being a bust friend to you, so she's not your best friend. Let's come out from another perspective, because that's always the best way to do it. So now you have to really look deep in yourself. Do you reach out to her with whatever? I've tried? But she doesn't go deep. That's the thing, Like I'd be like, how are you and you know your husband and she doesn't ever go It's like, oh it's great. It's like I want relationships now. I don't want just the like, well, some people are ar cakes and rainbows, and it's so that might have you're dealing with, which is why it's hard for her to come to you. But she's never been that like kind of like. But I mean, all I really know is from high school because after high school I moved to New York in the l A. So. And then from then it was just whenever she came out to visit. She's still in the Midwest. She's still in the Midwest. You know, I've heard she's quitting your job. Jealous. You know, I don't think she's jealous, but no, but I mean the second that I was on you know, one of her favorite shows, was she here like gung ho Blazing, Like of course, But when you guys were in high school, did you what was the relationship? I mean, we're best is but what kind of I mean, like again, like you grow so much from like high school to where we are now, so it's like yeah, and it's like now I'm you know, I'm calling you know, I'm calling you guys, I'm calling my my friends in Nashville. And it's like, because I don't feel like I can go that deeper. Did a relationship with her because she's not like you're going there with me. I was going to say one time, that makes me sad, It's okay, you have to go. People grow. You've grown, she hasn't. It happens a lot when I've had it with a lot of my friends that have had a long time that stayed in the Midwest, because when you have your whole perspective changes and the way you live your life is so different. It happens because you've gone through so much that you've changed to because you've gone through a lot of stuff, and so you've changed, and she hasn't or can't relate or can't catch up, or just is a different type of person. But I mean, even my friends that can't relate to they're still They're like, they're still like emotionally available. They're still. And again, I get a busy schedule, but nothing nobody can tell me that their schedule is anything I'm doing, and that I still have a good relationship with my girlfriends, that I there's no reason why I can't text you back or say like, hey, I saw this post and I'm so sorry it's something you know what I mean. So I was because it just made me think of it because I was going through something on Facebook popped up yesterday and it said eleven years ago, and I was like, wow, like it's just it's changed. It's like and now it's like but it's sad because it's like it's almost like a loss of like it's really hard. I have it with a couple of friends and and it's hard. I mean I think about it sometimes and I'm like, oh, I almost kind of have to block it. And it's almost like am I putting on something. It's like every time I go home, I'm always texting her, But the last time I went home, I didn't really see a lot of effort. So I was like, I'm not putting in this effort if you're not even going to put effort in like the one time that I'm home a year to actually like come see me, you know, or like to to whatever. So I'm like, why don't do that? But and that's like where I'm now like grieving it, where it's like the last time I came, I didn't text her, and I was like that was hard because I've always texted her. But I'm like, wait, I'm not in high school anymore. I'm not. We're not. We've outgrown. I guess that relationship said something to me one time and they were like, you know, we treat like relationship like you know with your partner, but friendships have um now, I can't think of what I was going to. Friendships have expiration dates too, and sometimes there's nothing you can do. And I have that with a friend. It's very uncomfortable, it's very awkward because it's currently happening. But that's when she said that to me. I was like, wait, it clicked. I'm like, yeah, some things just expire and no one did anything and nothing happens. But like you're growing, You've gone through so much and she probably can't relate, and again I can't. I mean, I don't have kids, I don't have a husband, I don't have but like we are just connecting on a different level and maybe it's just hard for something. You do have the option, even though it would be hard to tell her what you told us and really call her and say, hey, I really want to talk to you. We've I feel like we're growing apart or I feel like we we're not, you know, whatever it is. That's sort of an option if if it makes you feel so bad. You can try that. Yeah, you can also say whatever you can to grieve it and move on. Yeah, I kind of. You know, it's funny. It's a girlfriend from that kind of group had reached out to me and we had more of a connected conversation through text within five minutes than what I'd have had with her in years, where I was like, man, I was like, yeah, please text me again. I'd love to chat with you again because we were friends and we did a girl And that's the thing, Like I'm all about picking up where we leave off, Like even if if I don't talk to you for a couple of months, like whatever, like we always picked back and live off. That's fine, But it's always that like it's a connected relationship where you're just you're you, you share, both both parties share. And but I guess it's just hard for me because when I saw that phote on Facebook and like, damn Facebook for always being the thing to remind me of my relationships. And I'm like, thanks for the memory, Facebook, the wormhole devil. Yeah, but thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I just and I guess you know what I mean. I don't think I want to have that because I think I'm just and I have that. I just I think I've just passed it. It's not if I don't see her any effort, and then I just I have to do from it. I have a couple of friends where it's like, like, you know, whatever, if she does end up texting me, sure, but I'm I bet you it'll be when something comes out, either on TV or whatever. So I always say that your life is a beautiful garden, and if you allow weeds to continue to grow, it's going to really up your garden and it's not going to be a beautiful place. So when stuff like this happens, you just have to pull the weeds out. But I think it's like can flourish. Yeah. I think it's hard though, just because like in in this age, it's like we think that we have to continue on with the friendships that we've had since high school. But it's like, no, I'm a thirty four year old woman. I don't have I don't have to be friends with you anymore. Give yourself permission to move on. I know it's a weird feeling. I have two friends that were like best friends and I have a great group of friends, but two of them have like really dropped off left the tribe. And it's like one is fully left and the other one it's like, you know, some people go through things. It's like the Four Agreements. Likely it's not about you as much as it feels like it's about you. Something could be going on with her where she just I just want real if you can't be vulnerable and I'm not saying you gotta tell me every like skeleton in your closet, but if we can't have an honest just a just an authentic conversation, not just like oh yeah, things, kids are good, I'm like, that's I don't. I don't. I don't like when I asked someone how are you and they say good, because I think it's a bunch of baloney. Everything nobody are a is good? Right? No, I'm tired. I know yesterday and I was traveling, the guys like the even the flight guy, he was like, how are you. I go honestly, I don't want to be flying right now. I was like, oh my tired. I was somewhere and I'm like, how are you? And the person was like, whoa. I mean sometimes you don't want to hear a sob story. But again, like if it's you know, a relationship, but it's like you want to have that other partner. So thanks for letting me get that because I was just every single person listening. If you want to, yeah, if it's been a minute and you do care about that relationship, give the personal call. Do it. Yeah. If that ship has sailed, it's okay, let it sail that's me sail away. And you know what, It's interesting though, in ten years that person can come back and it's like people change, so you never know. You just don't know. She needs maybe some time and growth. Yeah, speaking of growth? What? Oh no, I was I was going to tell you earlier. I was in New York for a week for work and Rocco had to stay with his dad. And when I got home, I got a text that I needed to call him because he needed to talk to me. And I was like about what it was, Oh, well, um, after work, I'll talk with you. I was like, oh, all right, whatever. So last night and like waiting around, waiting around, are you nervous? Yeah, it was kind of nervous because I was like, what, like, just just tell me it's like, yeah, so annoying. Um. So he got on the phone and he said, uh so while you were while you were gone, um, you know, at least four or five times, and I rocko asked, um, so, I wonder what so and so is doing the boyfriend yours around the dad, right, And it happened like every day times and I said, well, I'm really sorry, but he's curious. We spend a lot of time with him and his daughter or he and his daughter, and um and when the kids you're going to be around that your mom's we live in the same neighborhood, you know. Um. So I'm sorry, but this is what it is. And he ended up being okay with it, but I was just you know, and then he said, well then he was asking why aren't we living in the same house and why aren't we together anymore? And I said, well, he often asked that, and it's really normal. And I have a talk with him about how his one friend only as a dad and his other friend only has a mom, and his other friend is you know, because the same situation as you know he does, where his mom and his dad lives separately, and every family is different and there's nothing wrong with that, And it's actually really you're you know, are really lucky that you have a mom and dad who love you so much, and um, you get to spend one on one time with us and get to do all kinds of things. He said, Oh, well, I never thought to, you know, talk about it that way. How old is he? Who? He's six? You're like my cousin. I mean, that's going to be a tough situation. No, it's really difficult, you know, and it's kind of getting muddy with lives moving on. Um, but it's just I think he's jealous to probably he's the other man in his life, probably because I would know if that was my husband, he would be like, why is jolly talking about? Right? No, And I'm you know, trying to be really compassionate about that. And um, do you get why people stay married until the kids go to college? And then they masses them up so bad? But but here's the thing that I just had a light bulb on. It's not about the kids why they stay till the kids go to college. It's about them. They can't handle it. But then when your kids are adults, you don't really care. You're like, who cares right, No, I just realize, really say, their staying, you know, for the kids, but they're staying because they can't handle the kids being with someone. And I get that. That's why I don't know that most divorces happen when the kids go to college. I don't know. I mean, I know one of my girlfriend's parents divorced right when they when she went to college. But I will say, I mean, to your to your point, Amy, the leading force of why I have not left Mike is I do not want another lady around my child. And I but having said that, when I'm done, if I was ever to be done done with Mike, I wouldn't care. But I still care because I still love him. Of course I still don't want her to get the better version of him, but I also don't want my child and I don't want him hanging around some whatever kind of chick that he picked up around my child. And I wouldn't want Jolie talking about her. So that was in the very beginning. I mean, when my girlfriends were like, it doesn't matter, you're still her mom, I was like, I don't care, Yes, I'll be because I know, like she's I know every single part of that child, like she's she came from me, Like she will never call anyone else a mom or you know. But again, but I think if I was like so done, I wouldn't care in my five second google I just did. It's totally torn. Like like two psychologists are like, kid, shouldn't live in an unhappy home, You shouldn't live in an unhappy home, You shouldn't be in a bad marriage. But you know, it's like, yeah, it's a crap shoot. I will say though, like if we were to get divorced, the major already of the time spent would be with me, right, so it would be me and my significant other, so she wouldn't really be around the other the other battle and then he tries to bring it on baby that I can't even but I will say, like with in my situation with my parents, I know my mom did try. I wish she would have left my dad years ago. It was not a good upbringing. In certain situation, you don't want, you know. One of my main reasons for making this huge life change was I didn't want Rocko to grow up seeing those things, thinking that that's the way a relationship is. No communication that you know, it's completely silent, you know, through dinner it's that's not that's not what I want for him in the future, agreed at all. So you know, you have to make those hard choices. But then after the hard choice is made, now you have to deal with all the mud. But I mean there could be good stuff. I mean, like who knows, like you know, maybe like I will say this, like if my dad would have married the girl that he's now married to, I would have had a way better relationship with my dad afterwards, because I love the lady he's married to now, like she's lovely. But the lady he married after my mom, which was like his a fair girl, I hated her so like that you know that that doesn't make it happy either, But again that kind of shapes like how your relationship with your parents are going to be after the divorce. And I don't know any unhappily divorced people though, Like do you know anyone that's divorced? Like if I could only just get you know, and so bad, I will say my mom was unhappy for a very like time, but she yes, so yeah, my dad had an affair end up marrying his a fair girl. But he but she said I wish. She did say at one point, I wish I would have And I think she said that in a time of just despair and loneliness because she's like, I'm never going to find anybody. I'm like, yes you are a mom, like yes you are, like you will, you will, you will. It just might not be tomorrow. But you know, once it was fifteen years and it was twenty years, and so it was like, you know, of course, like she's like, I'm never gonna find but she did. But she did say, she did say she wishes that she would have tried, maybe a little bit harder, And I was like, no, Mom, it wouldn't have changed. He would not. It would not have. You two did not work together. You were meant to have my brother and I and that was it. And now she's married. To get this, she's married to my brother's ex wife's dad. So his so okay, So my brother was married to a lady named Jackie who which we're not going there but um so um yes, and so married married Jackie. So his father in law was Dan. Okay, Now they had kids and so Ava and Dylan have you know their grandpa is you know, grandpa, you know, Papa Papa Dan and then Papa Nora from the other side. Um, so then when their grandparents were married. Now my dad now my brother's stepdad or you know, obviously not really like you know, he's not gonna call like stepdad, but like his stepdad is his ex father in law. Oh my god, next week we're talking about this because I'm so curious now like at Christmas. Oh, save it for next week. We're out of time from this week, but oh my god. Oh I can't wait to hear more about the guys. Yeah, okay, Oh, I just want to thank everybody for calling in today. Um I want to give a huge shout out to everyone's numbers in your whole family and Uncle Roy. Yeah, it's interesting. I love Uncle Roy. Anyways, Okay, so today we're sponsored by Luna Girl, where you can enjoy a wholesome, refreshing Mediterranean food, but the whole family can enjoy celebrate Labor Day weekend at the opening of Luna Girls se restaurant located in Santa Monica. Stay up to date with Unar Girl by following Lunar Girl at lunar girl dot com and social media. So thanks to Brooklyn and you get twenty dollars off your first order plus for shipping when you use promo code Janna. Brooklyn dot com is a d T slash smart to learn about more about a d T. Throw it up. You get x thirty percent off your first order at throwed up dot com slash Shanna and thank you to stay on sot com for letting my listeners have a special offer when they use the code Jana. It includes up to fifty five dollars free postage, a digital scale, and a four week trial sign up. Today, ladies, we were out of time. We talked about a lot today. Um, I'm not sorry. I'm not gonna let I don't think I'm gonna let Julie set up for Shorty. But it's all good. I've got I've got sixteen more years. You're good for that. So good. Yeah, let me talk about it later. I love you, ladies, Love you too. Can't wait for next week with the family affair. Oh thank god, I can't believe it. Buye Wine Downers