Give me the music. Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast, Mike, do you want to do that? It's like it's claim to fame. Oh I got Easton Are Sweet? Producer left it in and he's like, Babe, babe, did you heard that? East left my braining? The biggest thing I was worried about wasn't about anything I said. It was the last ten seconds of the whole second d just give me one more. I love it. Jenn. You're like a worker. Be over there, what are you doing? Well? It was really funny this morning. I was packing my car up to get into work, and my phone was in my pocket, and all of a sudden I heard my sister saying, are you trying to call me? Are you trying to call me? But there I but face timed her so she saw a nice picture of your butt. It was so funny. So she was actually weaving on this loomb. She was making this beautiful wall art. Well, I'm ordering one and I'm going to learn to do it. Um. Our grandmother was a master weaver. Like she used to weave pretty wall art. So for those of you that can't see, I see there's like a lot on Etsy, like the real pretty like Macromay. We So this is what she was doing and our other sister does it too. When they got into like this argument because the one sister thought the other one was copying her. And so my one sister, Rachel I was talking to this morning. She said, you should order one because it makes you, like, it makes me feel closer to Grandma, like you're doing something that she really loves, and you get to be really creative. And it's like, I don't know, I'm kind of scared because I don't want to be picking. No. I well I do. I'm afraid that the other sister will get mad. And I'm now weaving. But then I got to work and I was like, I'm just going to I'm allowed to order a room if you want to weave. Yeah, do you? Yeah? So I did it. I just ordered. It'll be here next Thursday, and so I'm going to be weaving all weekend. I have no idea how to do it. Will you make me a weave for the like Jolie's room, Yes, make something cute? I will. That will be my first one. What if we hate the weave them? Mike, Like, that's going to be awkward. Then she comes over to see they's like, not, it's not up to do. That's the worst of his My aunt oh got pretty God, she's out listing right now, Like I pray, I'm like sledding a little bit. I have to. She doesn't even know the podcast. But let's just say someone like drew something and it's like, send me a picture of where you put it. And I'm like, I think I threw it all in the trash kill. No, no, you didn't. You're always to keep that. The person comes over, story it's put it away bad. I mean he threw it out. I think I might a left it. I think I might have left it at my mom's and then like the dog might have eaten it or something like something like homework. I don't god, I feel it's just like she's very like, oh my god. I mean I'm already like the black sheet. But that side of the family, so it's fine. I'm so just like go down hill, but like I will, I will not come here rescue. You are doing this on your own, you know. Well, I'm just saying I don't even think my dad knows I have a podcast. I don't know, but I just I feel very like black Sheet, but that side of the family. So it's just she's very artistic, Like I mean, like she's incredible art I will say this if she is. She's an incredible artist. But like it's just a different style. So for like example, like one of her she has an alien sculpture but with like pointy boobs coming out. It's weird, but it's different. It's different. Yeah, So it's just you know, and she's always like, you know, I'm just gonna stop. I'm stopping. I'm just stopping. I'm talking now, my clothes. But you know what, I'm like, I'm already far gone on that side, Like they just think I'm like a lost cause. So can you give us an update. I don't know how you're feeling. I'm feeling pretty good. I'm still nauseous at night, but I'm feeling I'm I haven't peeped in like a couple of weeks, which is like a huge win. That's amazing. Yeah, but we had our check up and things are everything's good, babies growing, so I'm really happy. Awesome. And did you keep your maternity clothes from Julie? I kept some maternity close you did, Yes, But what I'm really excited about is about thrown Up because it's it's basically consignment but like good good clothing, like and you can go on there, so because I'm like, I don't want to spend like all this money. I'm a train close, I'm only gonna wear for what a few months, And so I'm like, That's why I love thrown Up because they have amazing, amazing brands, um but in a public BCBG, Steve Madden, Kate's, Bay Lemon like all of my favorite stores. And they also have like a Matorney to section too and kids clothes to which I love off It's amazing. But again, like Michael's always like, why are you buying that for Jolie when She's going to outgrow that in like a second, And I'm like, but it's cute, but on here, like I can actually get her, Like I'm thrown up, I can actually get her cute clothes and not feel bad about it, knowing that she's going to grow. I'll grow it. Once you have a little boy, this, you're going to have this in your favorites because they grow out of stuff so fast, so fast that you don't even want to buy new clothes because it's sometimes he just I'll buy new clothes and he totally skips the sizes. Oh my god, that's jastic. Well. Threat up is the world's largest online consignment and thrift store, with up to ninety percent off estimated retail price, like literally off. That's absolutely insane. Um, if you love to shop, you need to check out these deals on threat up. Plus. If you sign up now, you'll get an extra thirty percent off your first order at threat up dot com slash Janna. Make sure there's no a in there. It's thread up th h r e d up dot com slash Janna. That's threat up dot com slash Janna for an extra thirty percent off today. Okay, So from our last show, we had John Edward on and he started talking about astrology, I mean to the fact that he left his baby in the womb so that it would come out a different sign and so um from our listeners, there were Me, Mike and General all texting and it could be really cool to get like an astrolog drawing because I kind of want to know more about my signs. Mike has no idea. We started reading some about his signs and it's like some some were spot on somewhere off, but I wanted to get an expert to kind of discuss some of that explain. Yeah. And then also we have a few emails too, um that they want to know about their signs as well. So we have Deborah Silverman, astrologer on the phone with us right now. Hey Deborrah, Hello, how are you? I'm doing great? How are you doing? I'm good. I've got my husband Michael in the room, producer Jen, and then Easton is a on the board. We got a whole bunch of people having a party. Oh yeah, totally. And um, I will I will start off first by saying, um, do people question like the I guess authenticity of of astrology? And they did. They think it's weird that it's like you, you go off of signs for for people's characteristics and stuff. But it is weird. It is. I mean, I'm speaking for my husband basically right now when I say this. But you don't have to believe I tell everybody this. You don't have to believe in it for it to be true. All you have to do is have a reading and then suddenly you'll suspend your left brain. There's lots of things we can't see. We can't see gravity, we can't see love, and we don't really understand them, but we believe in them. And that's true. Starts interesting. You can feel that though, you can feel love, and you can certainly see the results of gravity when you when you get past thirty five seed for all of us thrown up. Yeah, so I mean so that that's pretty good. I mean to my naysair husband, what do you think about that? You don't have to even Oh my god, he's such an intuitive. Don't listen to him. He's just embarrassed how much he feels. Yeah, yeah, and making him put words to things is his specialty when he's in the mood. Fantastic won over already you're on speed dial from Mike. Now, never talk my wife feeling, But Mike, you have you have a a little bit. Is that Mike who's got the No, this would be Jana, Janna. You've got a little bit of an eccentric chart. You've got a very exuberant personality that's a little over the top at times because you get so excited and my writer, am I right? You're right? Fantastic? Shut up, Mike, Yes, and and if you've got so much fire, Janna, you get so enthusiastic and he's water. So one of your challenges is that he can go deep and quiet. You can match him there, but it's not where you live. You live in enthusiasm and he lives in quiet, and it can clash fire and water. But if you learn to master it, it becomes a sensitivity where you know when not to bump bump into him. He needs quiet time, You need to talk, and he'll talk when he's in the mood. That's the thing about Mike. He'll start going. You just can't push him. And you know how women are. Come, do you have a camera in my house? There's a camera just behind you. Look, don't not just kidding. This is very predictable, and it's been going on for thousands of years. It's the oldest science on Earth. And I've been doing it for probably that long. Yeah, I've been doing this for a while. So your chances are fascinating because it could easily be that you guys didn't get along. One is a place, he's one is a sad squares. She might can detach at times emotionally and not feel very much, and then Janet gets so emotional and it's hard because she it matters so much to you, and then all of a sudden it flops over and he's sensitive if he's If you dance together, there's a wonderful exchange. But if you crash, I could see where this could be a little challenging. So are you dancing or clashing? Right now? We're dancing, But when we clash, it's like divorce layers. Yeah, for you because you're a little over the top ec but for me, well, it's just it's like when we we love, we love. When we fight, it's like it's falls to the wall. It's very passionate. It's like our our couple of therapist is like it's you know, no one wants to be in the middle of you two when you guys go at each other. Yeah, and and this is going to not make you happy, Janna, But part of that is you, because you're so passionate. He would be much more detached if you want. It's great talking to Deborah, and I hope you have a great I wish you could see no victory dance, but you're bringing him light. So without you around, yeah, be far more detached and much less feeling. So the good news is, while it may seem like I was accusing you of being the source of the fire, it's exactly what he needs to stay alive and kicking because he can get spacey. Yes that Mike might come back, come back. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, I mean this is spot on. Yeah, it's really good. Now what do you get? Like, what do you get this from? Deborah? Like how do you like you? Okay? You know our signs, you know our birthdays? Like where are you drawing this from? It's called astrology and to feel the science on Earth. And I had to use your first date, time and place, and I executed a chart. I put all the masks together and figured out Oh, so he can be so detached and she gets so excited. Oh she loves getting into the futuristic stuff. That's a cool thing about you, Janny. You're You're always three steps ahead of everyone, and Mike can track you there like he's interested in the same thing through. That's a good thing. You have a really strong overlap on your fascination with anything off the beaten path. Yeah. Interesting, and just don't want to get stuck in the old ways. You are very good at keeping your minds open. And that's half of what relationships about. If we can communicate to each other and do the therapy, then we stay together. Do you think we'll make it? What did this feeling? I have a really good feeling? Would you tell us if you had a bad feeling? Though? Like you wouldn't say like? But can you send the charts charts to them so that maybe they can they can go in depth and read. Do you know that Carol Young always had a chart in front of him and he was quoted to say psychology will be a dinosaur science until it includes astrology. He was a full hunt astrologer and he was standing next to Froid freyd went left brain and classical prove it to me. And Young knew there was a mystical world and he did it through dreams and so there was two different schools stuff, but he was and all there's real classical unions will tell you that astrology is at the center of psychology, absolutely, and your psychology and a psychologist and I studied humanistic psychology and um, so it's there's a lot of mysticism in humanistic psychology. Is there is there like a timeline, like a numerical timeline of of how far like you read the stars in somebody's life based on the information that you get, or like where does it start and end? And I'm just found fascinated by this. That's so funny you ask because you were in a major cycle. So what happened a year and a half ago, Mike, you should have had a big change in two thousand, two thousand seventeen. Um, yeah, well it health essentially Yeah, um wow, that's yeah. I mean that's when Jana and I went through everything with discovery of infidelity and major relationship changes in our world that we faced, and mental health issues that I was dealing with, and I mean that was the biggest change in my life. Was Yeah, So there you have it, and thank you for your honesty. How beautiful And yes, that was the turning point for you to go from one phase of your life to the next. When you've made it through that was the eye of the needle. Well, the good news is time wise, you're in a much easier cycle now. I feel that. Yeah, happy birthday now will that continue? Healthy? Well? Is the whole your whole life? Lesson might guess to do is being honest with what you just displayed ruthlessly honest, and there's a part of you that can be a secret keeper, and you can be inside your own little world. And then when you finally speak it out loud and come clean, everybody you know fall in love with you. But it's you know you've been in your life, You've had to deal with secrets. He literally has his head to his palm right now, might be crying. Sorry, I know what you told me to do this. I don't usually, by the way, I don't even know how this happened because I don't usually do this, like just this kind of disclosing on a radio show. I don't know who's listening, but I bet there's a whole bunch of people. And just so you know, I teach astrology and the classes opening next month, so anyone that wants to learn in six weeks. I had the coolest process where you go and you learn about your psyche and your timing and your personality traits, and you fall in love with yourself right there, and it's cool. I'm going to take the class. That sounds amazing, aren't Yeah, Yeah, let's do it. I mean, like, literally, my husband's brains and are on the floor right now. His head is blown. You have to pick that up before we finish. But he's he's he's going to be good. Yeah. Once because now he's in his honesty. He did it. He went through a different person. Hold him, did it, old guy? He's another person? Yeah, hashtag growth visuals. I love that. Thanks. We don't just hear wondering what he's doing over there. Yeah. Now he's just like bab Yeah, I mean this is yeah. I don't know what to say. I mean, you don't have to say anything. We could do telepathy on the radio. That was okay. The third person in the room that's not talking, jan I know that's me. I'm right here, I'm right here. I have a I have a quick question for you. So I'm a Gemini cancer cusp. I was born use of leap beer. You have to find out which because of leap beer. That's why we don't know whether it's the twenties one the twenty second. From time to time they give the wrong date. You have to look in the year you were born was the son and Gemini was in cancer and you can look that up. Very people are it was in Gemini? Are you also you're a Gemini. Hello, So when you're not when you're not born in the cup, if you're one degree in, it's like being partially pregnant. You can't you're you're pregnant, You're not like you're you're in. It's only zero degree and that only happens for a few hours and you have to look it up in the Technical Astronomer's book. Hey, debor really quick, UM, I just want to I want to just say something about my safety. So Michael is actually going out of town for a golf weekend and I honestly I'm I get really scared when I'm home alone, like super super super scared. Um, which is why I love a d T and I have been an a d T user since I've bought my first house, which was like five six years ago. Um, a d T protects against break ins, fire, and carbon monoxide for a limited time. Get a d T s lowest rate starting at just a month from the most trusted name and home security. That's just a dollar a day. And I'm telling you for me, like I can sleep soundly knowing that I have an alarm system. I mean again, it's like it's not just me in the house. It's my daughter. And yeah, the dogs will bark, but that's not going to stop them from a burglar coming in. So something that they can you know, the system alarms them. It even includes an s OS button with the seven emergency response UM and you can get any kind of security system you want. I should get this. You have to me because I now own my home. I live there alone. It's scary. It is, it's scary, and you just want to feel there's like the extra like security blanket. I mean, I know what makes my husband feel safe to it's like a security blanket for me too, knowing that when I leave, it's one less thing I have to worry about. There's knowing that micro are safe because I'm going to worry about them anytime I'm gone. They're gonna know how Janet is too when when I'm gone. So it puts both of us and d S knowing that she's protected. So you guys go to a T dot com, slash podcast or a d T dot com to take advantage of ads lowest rate that's ad T tested, trusted and proven. So we have an email from Becky. Do you want to read it? Channel? I'm sure, Um, I'm a Libra and my boyfriend is a Scorpio. I'm from the UK and absolutely love wine Down. I wondered if you can do an episode on astrology and relationships, and now we have you different. Yeah. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now and I'm completely in love with him. However, I'm a Libra and he's a Scorpio, and in all the trusted resources I can find, it says that these are very short lived but intense relationships that don't have longevity. I don't want to be thinking our relationship is going to end just because I read it in astrology, but it is in the back of my mind and I'm worried it's starting to affect the way I feel about him. Do have any any advice on what you think I should do? You want me to jump in, Oh if this is all you girl, because I'd be like, I don't know, I don't know. Drum roll. So the short answers, don't believe everything you read that healthy astrology is here to teach you to think independently and pay attention to your own truth. And there's more than just the sun sign. So let's say he's a got libra scorpy. Of those two together, by the way, are very compatible. But you don't know where his mind is, mercury, where the moon is, his emotions, you don't know what his life lesson is. There's so many other planets, and for some reason astrology has been cheapened by just knowing the one thing, the sun sign. But because we can't detect where the moon is without without actually making a chart and having to do them numbers and maps. So short answer is there's many other factors. Don't read what every don't believe everything you read and do your homework. You can find out if you're compatible or not. It doesn't take long to study and or go consult the good astrologer. I have them, I produce. I have a twelve certified astrologers in my school that give readings who are excellent, who have been trained by me, and they can answer that question. But you can't do the cheap version. You can't do the little short answer. I'm will be pretty DISCORPORI We'll wait a minute. What time were you born in what city? And what year? Right? Plays a part in them? Right? Yes, it's a deep art form that can't be cheapened with just one fun time. The sky's the limits. They think, think stars and then think just one and go Wait a minute, there's more factors to consider. Do you do like does it? Does astrology of a show like? Um? Like for me, I kind of feel like I'm I have a lot of things going on in my life, but I'm not sure like where job wise? Like does that? Does that? Does astrology plan a part of that? Or? Now? That's what astrology is for. It gives you the indicator of where your natural gifts are, tells you the timing when it will be fertile myrtle to go and look for a new job or when stay at the old job. When it gives you timing and most of all, it reminds you of what you came to do. Like. The thing with astrology is it answers the question why am I here? Like what part of what am I doing here? And that's everyone's deepest secret question. Wanted to have a purpose, Debora, Where can our listeners find you? Um? I have a website three words Deborah Silverment astrology dot com. You can go. I have a something called our community three words again dot com and I teach it's a it's a platform and you pay like two a month, and every single day you hear where the moon is and where the planets are, and you get to hear interviews with famous people and you really get to learn astrology. So there's the Star Community. There is my website, and then there's my school Apprenticeship at Deborah Silverman Astrology, where you can at least get some free videos to tell you what the school is about. Then you can find whether or not you're interested. But yes, and it's my deepest love in this life to think that I can help people fall in love with themselves stop judging over being on her show. We appreciate it so much. And you are a beautiful light and something. You want me to tell you what your destiny is, you have to call me again. Deals I She's awesome, Mike, you were like about to cry. No, it's true. I did feel some you know, salty discharge coming out of my eyes. I don't know what you call those things, but I'm not used to it, um whatever. But then I will say, after thinking about then my skepticism comes into play, which part in a sense of Okay, she knew she's coming on the show. Did she like Google? She saw in two thousand sixteen that this stuff happened, and she just decided to say, hey, and two sixteen, your life changed. I don't think so. I don't either. Yeah, but she doesn't seem like the googling time, No, not at all. She seems like she just sounds had two names in an emails like right, let me do their charge exactly. Yeah, and the information that we sent in about where we're born in place and all that stuff. And then she then she charted out where all the planets were and then dissected them and evaluated them. That sends it to you, guys, so you can read it if you have you ever written a comprehensive astrological report on your So I had one done and it came in a book and it was so spot on. It was the most amazing thing to read about yourself and go, oh my god, that's me, Oh my god, oh my god. Like you just you're in awe. I mean, she nailed literally everything that she talked about with Jane and I. And it wasn't it wasn't subjective, it wasn't based on a point of view or anything. It was black and white like that is kind of how we are. There was no subjectiveness to it. It was fascinating in it well, and she couldn't have googled that, oh, not at all, So that the only thing that had me skeptical was the whole thing about change. But I mean, even like the secret Keeper and you know, it's to be honest. Like that's the biggest thing issue my entire life is honesty, which sucks, but which is why it's I mean, shoot, last night I was you know, J and I are checking in and I had to be honest about something. It's like pulling tee sometimes. Yeah, I mean it literally was like it took him like five minutes to tell me his like his lie of the day. And I'm like, like, it's incredible the fear that comes over you. Yeah, it wasn't even that. That wasn't even a lie. It was just omission thus far, something that happened in the morning that I hadn't told her yet that I needed to, and it was just by the end of the day it was just eat me alive. And it was just so hard because my fear around telling the truth and the repercussions that might come from that so ingrained in me for so long in my life that I'm still trying to practice to get out of that. And so she talks about the honesty and the secret keeping, and I think, Hi, that's it, that's that's crazy. I loved it. You guys work so hard on the relationship. No, just you guys are so committed. You guys are going to I don't care what the charts say. You guys are going to make good. Anybody who's that committed to growing together. Yeah, but taking the time to check in with each other at night, you guys, you guys are in it for the long haul. I will say like if like, I mean, I agree, but I would say, like if something were to happen, like, no one could say we didn't try at this point, it's not like, oh that's just another like celebrity relationship that you know what it's like. No, we like people would be like they thought they tried, and that is like something that I can you can look us at. Yeah, and again what I said to what I wanted to say to Jolie, like I tried, and you tried, Like we've were trying. So um, we actually have a couple of therapy after this, so it's probably better we do the podcast than couples. Sometimes after couples we don't talk. But no, we've ben we've done really well after couples. It's because of the place that we're getting with communication and growing. And but I would imagine you need some time in space after sometimes sometimes we need it just depends or do you drive separately? Well, we live walking distance, so sometimes like he'll drive home and I'll walk home or vice versa. Yeah, So, but lately, like we've done well, like usually it's one of us leaping before the other person, like starving out of the room. But yeah, therapists been high fiveing us on the way out, guys, and so we'll see. But you're so tell me about your psychology, because that's something where if I was to ever go back to school, that would be what I want to to study. And I'm just so afraid of like them the classes to get there, like math and stuff, because I'm stupid, so well, I don't know, like the time stated. So my undergrad is when I had most of my math and statistics, and then in my graduate program I chose to um work on a qualitative thesis instead of a quantitative qualitative is experience based on experience. So when you're doing your research, you interview maybe ten to fifteen people who have all had a similar experience, and then find the themes and those experience. Maybe it's Greef for insecurity or spiritual awakening, whatever it might be. Quantitative is when you do all the numbers and you're just crunching statistics. And that's dreadful for me because I'm not good with numbers. So I decided I went for a master's in clinical Psychology humanistic which is UM. It's has a lot of mysticism in it, and that's why I was drawn to it. Of course, uh intuition, dream, dream analysis. It's more about being and you know, finding how to be in the world. Do you take clients or is it I used to I years ago, over twenty years ago, Over twenty years ago, I UM. I used to work with teenage girls who lived in residential facilities and I loved working with them. And then I also used to administer and evaluate all of the psychologically like psychologicals for criminal and family court. So I would test everyone involved in the case, evaluate write reports, and then I would go testify. So and I was really young to be doing that, but it was a really great experience. That's really cool. And do you mess up? I don't because I have so many friends who use me as a therapist. So I still get that, like us on the show, like your our therapist, at least one phone call or I get a text or you know. So I always say, like even in my Instagram handle, I think it says in therapist to money because because I am of the people. But I will probably you know, maybe when I'm sixty. Yeah, maybe I'll open an office start taking clients again. When when when it needs your needs feeding in the soul, then yeah, do it. But the one thing I loved working on my master's in clinical second, I did go post um postgrad two like five classes away from my society. I just I stopped when I was um, when I had Rocco, I loved. You have to do your work to become a therapist. You have to deal with all of your issues, so you have to face everything because you can't go into a room and be unhealthy. Yeah, and trying to try to give other people advice, right, Yeah, that makes so much sense. That makes a lot of sense. Not that I have I'm not saying I have no issues. I've got issues. Of course, we all have issues. That's a thing you can't you have to work out, like the trauma maybe or childhood stuff like to understand and go through and absolutely, yeah that makes sense. A quick just a quick explanation on you said dream analysis. So is it like I know, like Janice Google, she's a Google machine, um where you know it's like, oh, I how to dream about polar bears and that means some crazy thing like is it that simple or it's not that simple. What I always tell people is keep a journal next to your bad if you wake up in the middle of the night and you know you been dreaming, right down everything you possibly can. It doesn't even have to be legible. It can just be bullet points. It can be white blanket it was cold outside, you know whatever. I had blue on um or in the morning. Just take a couple minutes before you jump out of bed. I'm guilty of totally just jumping out of bed. And when you have kids, you that's what you do. Take a couple of minutes and try and remember your dreams. I remembered my dream last night. But maybe you can, like try and help me break down Yeah, I have like very vivid dreams when I'm pregnant. It's just it's nuts. I mean it seems so real. So this is so random. But we were at Julianne Huff's house and or the husband Brooks. I mean we we've never hung out with them ever. I've only known her from when she was the judge Dancing at the Stars and I was on the show. You and I were there, babe, and we had a couple of therapy that we needed to go to, but we were having so much fun at their house that we decided to stay. And You're like, oh, we'll just I'll text in and Tom. We're just going to do like an hour. But it was like snowing, so we went. So we were we were we were like sliding down this hill, but then all of a sudden it turned into like a water park and Jolie was there with us, like she she came. So that was my dream, like we were hanging out it Like what do you idolize the relationship between those two? I think there I told this is where I ran into her at UM I get my hair at nine one and um we were sitting next to each other at the sink bowls, and I was like, you guys are just so cute together, Like he loves you, you love him like you guys like from what I say on Instagram, like they have like an amazing relationship. So maybe like I wanted to stay to like hang out with them, to like have that rub rub off on us, because couples therapy was involved in that as well. Sometimes they're really easy to dive sack and other times you have to you know, go through and really pick up the themes. Yeah, like, oh, I must have been feeling insecure. Yeah, you know, oh it's snowing, which could mean you know, blurry vision or treacherous roads or but then you're on the water slide and you're happy slide water park, so weird. Michael. Do you remember any of your dreams sately? I mean the last one I had. If I would have remembered every detail, it could have been like a smash of the box office aliens and explosions. And I think the most stereotypical guy dream, Like I think I had like you know, two guns and hands and like jumping over saving people. So I think that was the last dream I remember. And what does that mean is that just like a dude, and you know, and sometimes they're just entertaining, right you just you just have these dreams. You can't really explain them, can you. Is it true that you really can't die in your dream? It's every time I've almost died, I've oken up. Oh, but I don't know. Interesting because I've heard like if you do die like you, then you're dead. You. That reminds me of going into the bathroom like in third grade and turning off all the lights and going bloody Mary, bloody hair because blood. Yeah, I don't think so. By the way, you guys are all looking at me because you probably wonder about my amazing hair and it looks incredible. I take my extensions out and I've been taking sugar bear hair and I'm telling you, guys, like my hair looks like it's it's like thick and full and it's growing. Um. Why I love sugar bear hair is because it's helping my hair look amazing. Um. There's as much vitamin A as four cups of broccoli, as much vitamin C as one cup of cranberries, and as much vitamin bee twave as four organic eggs. Um. The nutrients and sugar Bar Hair of fans also found their nails and skin quality improved over time, and that's so true. I mean, I just feel like I'm just rocking this bump right now and the hair and the boobs, and I'm really excited that I found sugar Bear hair because, um, I don't know, I just I feel like, whenever I look on like Instagram and stuff too, I'm always looking at people's hair and what they do and stuff. And now I feel like I'm like, Hey, look at my awesome thick hair. So go to sugar bear Hair dot com slash Janna for beautiful hair and to healthyer you that's sugar Bear Hair dot com slash Janna, sugar Bear Hair dot Com slash Janna. Hey, baby, can we tell them about our new craze that we love? Actually, yes, we can. So let me just start off as I say to talk. I love working out with you, Like it's like one of my favorite things in the world to do. You know, every time, I'm always like, will you work out with me? Because I hate working out alone, So you're kind of like and I don't know, I just like I feel like when we do work out together, I feel like I have to like I work I work harder because I want to show offtitive. It's like between we want to show off for each other and also beat each other and like look good though too. Yeah. But UM, we're really excited because we've been UM. We've been working with Beach Body, which is awesome because it's it's an app. UM. It's a streaming service that gives you instant access to a wide variety of super effective workouts you can do from the comfort of your own house. And what's great about our setup is that we have a gym in UM in the garage, so we work out together. We use the streaming service. It's an easy app that you can download. UM. You get the best trainers from Shaun Ti to Tony Horton which baby you do the Penny X which you love UM And I don't know. I just think it's a lot of fun because the workouts are are easy. It can be thirty minute workouts. Yeah. And the thing is what what sold me more to work out with Jane because she's always coming in and it's like Jolie's nap time. You want to go work out with me and I might be feeling lazy and then when she came in a few weeks ago and showed me about Beach Body on Demand and show me like, you know, hey, we can do these quick workouts. It's read are mean it, it's it's there for you. You don't have to do any of like work about what you want to do. Um. She showed me that, and ever since then I've been hooked. And especially for us where our schedule is a little bit unorthodox, especially with Jana stuff. And then in the work the field of work I do now my day, my work schedules berries day to day, and so being able to get those minute workouts at home, not taking time to go to the gym or do any of that. It's at home in our backyard minutes knock it out. I'm sweating my butt off. I feel good. I look great, at least my wife tells me so. Um. But it's been really helpful to have, you know, some structure in that, because that's what the environment I come from with knowressal athletics is everything. Every time I went in to work, my workout was in front of me ready to go. Now, this is my way to have that at home, and that's been the game changer. For me. Yeah, cool, it's your comfort zone. Yeah. It's usually like when I walk in there too, and I'm like, all right, I'll do a couple of curls. But it's like no, it's like it's showing us what to do, and it's like it's just like Mike said, like it basically lays out the workout for you. Just fantastic. So join over one million people currently on beach Body on Demand, um, and then one million and two would be me and Mike and now Jen, I'm right now, My listeners can get a special free trial membership. When you text Janna to you will get full access to the entire platform for free, all the workouts, the nutritional information and support. It's completely free again. Just text Jana to thirty thirty Okay, Um, Jen, do you want to do the first email? Sure, let's do it. Okay, So from Samantha, I can really resonate with this email. I'm at the title. Think you have no idea? My mother in law is uber crazy? Hey, Pam kidding, I'm kidding. Wait, what who's your mother in law? Was ex mother in law? I'm not going to say her name. Okay, can we talk about it or know for sure. So let me just before we do this this I have so much experience eighteen nineteen years of experience with us. So, I mean it started before we were married. But she had an idea of who was going to marry her son and it was not it was not me. And so we had this huge Middle Eastern wedding by the way, this is John story. And she was supposed to she she was the mother's were supposed to wear like like it was a fall wedding, so brown or dark page or from Yeah, I gave them many options. She showed me the dress that she was going to quote unquote going to wear. But then she showed up and all black to my wedding. I didn't say a word to me, not one word all day. Oh yeah, I mean it just went on and on and on that I mean that that was the start of that. That was what was the worst thing that ever happened that she did. After we got married. She come over to the house one day and UM told him, like, she said, you should just come home and leave, get divorced. I can tell you're not happy. You should be, yes, And she was really she wouldn't call me by my name she would say, you're like when she was talking to her daughter, she would say, your brother's wife. You know, she wouldn't address you, she wouldn't address me. Yeah, well she must be happy now that you guys are divorced, all right, I would imagine. I don't know. Those are just a couple of the stories. Let's hearing. I should have I should have been more aware before I got married because she was acting the same way, and I really should have taken note. Okay, because Samantha, I'm going to read your email and then I'm going to give you some advice. I'm getting married on August eleven to my amazing fiance, Michael. We've been dating for three and a half years, and I couldn't be happier his His mother, on the other hand, is uber crazy. She constantly is making all of my decisions about the wedding about her. She cries to Michael about how terrible I am, but the rest of the family loves me. I don't know what to do because I don't want Michael to feel like he's stuck between me and his mother. But at the same time, I feel like he needs to have some loyalty towards me. I'm stuck and needs some of your lovely advice, Samantha. He has to be on your side. And yes, she is his mother, but you two are getting married, and you two are going to be living in a house and in the future raising children together, and she has nothing to do about that. She is the grandmother and she is the mother in law. It's you two. You two are the team. You can be gracious and sweet and kind to her, but he has to be on your side because this will not end if he's not on your side. She has the power. I agree, Michael. What I will say, I totally agree Jen and Janna. My advice here would be, Samantha, go to Michael and tell him, how do you feel about all this? Yeah, from a good place. Tell him kindly request that he talks to his mother, but also tell him if he does not not, then you will. And if he does not, you go to your future mother in law in a healthy way and say, what's going on here? Be adults and ask her directly. It is probably gonna make her super uncomfortable. It's probably gonna make you super uncomfortable, but that's the only choice you have. You can't Something has to be the adult here. Someone has to Clearly she's not being so Samantha, you go be the adult. You address it to her. I would like to think I make up that she might have a newfound respect for you, that you're stepping up and being like, look, I'm marrying your son. What do we have to do to work our relationship out? What is your issue with me? What is the underlying meaning of this? You're not going to lose your son. We're still gonna be a part of the family. We're all we're all family. Now. He's not going anywhere. But hold on a second. Though, you had a hard time with your mom stepping aside like from because you were a mama's boy. So I mean you have to have some empathy for Michael being Michael and understanding like that. That's hard. No, I do. But this aspect, like this is extremes when it's selling Pam like hated me or no, not at all. She loves loves you and loves you, And it wasn't you know, y'all's biggest thing was about like sharing holidays and stuff like this, and her talking about Christmas. But and then but then also you're saying you were talking about having traditions for Fourth July and Thanksgiving. So it's like you guys are both kind of playing your ground on what you wanted to keep as a tradition that you were both used to. So it's not like she hated you. There's no animosity between and if there was stepped in, yeah, yeah, my mom was like I reckon Jana and all this stuff, then that had been one thing, but that was never the case. So this is an extreme case that she needs to address. And my only concern is that the mother in law won't be the future mother in law won't be aware enough. Absolutely, that's it's going to be a struggle. It really is, Samantha. And I think it is too because of the age of the adults. Like even like when I've tried to talk to my mom, it's like they don't it's like they didn't have and not the therapy, but they don't know how to communicate. I feel like to be um, you know, vulnerable, So that's in to listen and to not get defensive. So I think that that might be really hard for Symantha, But just try to be the adults. Try to be calm and know that you said all the things from a good place and from a place of yeah, and just be like, if they're what can I do to like you? Know? It's not like you want to change things to make her like you. But at the same time, you don't want to have this going on for your entire marriage, because that's being exhausting. It becomes a poison, it really does. It becomes a poison. Well, I'm lucky that I have Pam Howney. You want to read the next one? Sure? This email is from Sarah Sarah, okay, and there's another one Jane, which I think we should read too. Okay, that's a good one for both of us. All right, So from Sarah, my boyfriend is extremely insecure. My boyfriend was previously cheated on by his X of five years. Coming into our relationship sometime later, he continues to be very insecure about anything and everything. For example, I asked him if it's okay if I celebrated an engagement dinner with two other girls. He responds, yes, of course, honey, So I told them yes. Later he said he was saying that sarcastically. Mind you, it's on a Thursday after work. He proceeds to say, well, me and my buddy are going out for pizza wings and beer. I don't care if he does. However, we got into a huge argument and I told him that if he cannot trust me for something that's simple and small, then we shouldn't be together. I'm just exhausted with this. I need all hands on deck, including Mike's, to get a man's perspective. All right, So first things first is I don't think there's room for sarcasm in a relationship when it comes to asking direct questions and wanting direct answers. There, that's just that's a cop out. That's that's bad communication. You're not gonna get any think done. That builds resentment, that's miss communication, and it's just it's just gonna cause a lot of issues. Yeah, because he said yes, then it's like your girlfriends. And then he's gonna make her feel bad by saying how sarcastic? Well, how how is Sarah supposed to know you're being sarcastic? You can't know. That's childhood. You can't be sarcastic in that um And then and then him coming back and saying, well, I'm going out for pizza, you know, for pizza wings and beer, and my buddies. That's just being childish, you said, when you read it like it just seems immature. Ye. And then but also you know, she says that they got into a huge argument and that she says, I if he cannot trust her with something that's simple, then we shouldn't be together. And that's where I'll get his back, where I don't say, we'll just be careful minimizing his feelings about something. Okay, So clearly he had he's had issues with infidelity in previous relationship, and he's carrying that into y'all's relationship, which is unfair. But everybody has her baggage, right, everyone has their baggage. But him acting out around this in a sense of just acting childish what I mean like physically acting now, but acting childish and the mature around this topic, minimizing his feelings around it is only gonna make it worse because he's not feeling heart So it's just going to take a sit down between you two, Sarah. You tell him and validate his feelings of having fear because of his past relationship history. Reassure him that you love him and you would never even dream about doing something to hurt him and then and then you know, be like, how can we handle the situation in the future. But the key is to validate his fears going into it, because clearly through this example that is he's speaking from a place of fear. That's it. I get that. But what I'll disagree with with you, babe and agree with Sarah is like something that is so small and simple where it's like, like, that's so like I know, like I get what you're saying because we're like we're going through it and stuff. But at the same time, I'm like, if it's that's what they're arguing about, something that's so like simple like that, it's like God, like, it's gonna be exhausting move having moving forward with like other things well, and what happens when the big stuff comes? Right? Yes, I agree that I'm saying, example, nip this in the butt now, because that's going to help you communicate better when the big Yeah, But I do agree with you with like, you know, not making it because to him, it's not simple. It's a big not about the lamp shade feeling, it's about something else. He doesn't know how to articulate that to her because she has done nothing to hurt him as far as we know, so he just you know, you guys need to have an honest conversation about that because it's coming from somewhere else. Just like when Mike and I got into a fight. Um, it's we got to fight over a lampshade, but it wasn't about the lamp shade. It was about something else that I was having issues about. So I'm always like, it's not about the lamp shade, thade. Um. Before we get to another email, I want to tell you guys about Skylar. It's a self care lifestyle brand centered around Sense. Now that I'm able to smell sense because I'm feeling better in my pregnancy, I have been lighting candles again, and I'm just super excited with this brand because their ultimate goal is supporting and empowering women. So they're clean, modern perfumes, are unique light, and they're never overpowering, which I love. So they have perfumes. They have candles that perfumes by the way, our natural ingredients and free of harmful chemicals gen so that's good that they're hypolergenic, which is awesome. Um, because my daughter has really sensitive skin too, So if I was a sprayed on me and then it got on her Like It's it's good, um, skin safe and non irritating. It is vegan free and never tested on animals. Gen also for you, um, but it's really cool. They have got like a really fun interactive quiz online to help you find your perfect scent. UM. I really mind Aisle. It's so it's clean, dewey and um. But I also really like arrow too. It's spicy, warm and stea. Yeah, so your Arrow for sure. UM. For a limited time offer, try the Skylar Sample Palette with free shipping, plus earn a twenty dollar credit towards your next full size perfume purchase. Visits Skylar dot com slash Janna. That's Skylar s k y l a r dot com slash Janna for twenty dollar credit towards your next full size perfume purchase. Skyler dot com slash Janna. I'm gonna read you, guys, an email from Jane. This is a good one. The title is we have similar stories, don't dont done? Your story and mine are so similar with a bit of an age difference. I'm a fifty year old mother of two teenagers, married seventeen years, I was the one who wanted sex more than my husband. My husband confessed a year long affair with our mutual female friend. Double portrayed, Yeah, working on our marriage, which is better than ever even our sex life. Listen to episode four twice. I cried both times. I'm sorry. I can completely relate to all of your triggers and feelings after listening to episode twelve, here's my question, how do you reconcile balance? John Edwards comments about positive energy, what you put out there is what you attract, arguing for the negative, which is based on fear with these fears and triggers we are experiencing after the infidelity. Wait, I don't understand that. So she's asking, you know, John Edwards said, what you put out you get back, So mind be mindful of your thoughts. So she I think what she's asking is, I'm so worried that he's going to go have another affair that am I putting that out there in the universe and he's going to do it because that's the energy and putting out I interpret another way where you want to have, you know, positive thoughts to have a positive life around you, right around yourself with that, But you're naturally being the victim of this betrayal, You're going to have those negative thoughts. So I think she's scared of yes, you know, especially the same thing, having those negative thoughts and creep in. Will that affect the positivity the positive environment she's trying to create with her husband. Yeah, And she goes on to say, I'm trying to create a positive environment from healing from this infidelity, but am getting bogged down by the trigger as fears and insecurities. I feel as though I need to be constantly reminded that I was the one who has chosen and why that's not what I want to attract for the new marriage that we are working towards. And and that's you know, Jane, I can I can totally get the triggers and fears and insecurities. And that's where you know your partner, like Mike has done a good job now with doing and he took a good year and a half to get to the point where it's like they can um acknowledge your triggers and fears and insecurity insecurities. But it's also it's on us, Jane, to be able to let the past be the past and it's hard, but not let it bogged down out. It's okay. If it creeps in, um, it still does for me, it might just not be a minute now, maybe it's just a few seconds, and then I say, Okay, that was the past, let's move forward. What's the present. And so I'm just trying to stay in the present and trying not to put that negative and negative energy out there because we don't want that person back in our life. For those right and you can still, Jane, from from just the experience that Jane and I have gone through, do you have every right to have those negative feelings? You have every right to feel that way, to express those feelings now by by you, uh, I haven't trying to say that by articulating them in a healthy way to your husband, by coming to him and expressing, hey, I'm feeling this way. As opposed to being passive, aggressive, or holding things against him or being resentful, that's how that negativity is going to creep into your life. But if you have those negative feelings and talk about them in a healthy way, then I don't think that negativity creeps into the life around you because you're handing things in a positive, healthy way. I agree, you know, so I think that's the key, that's been the key for us um which neither of us do perfectly all the time, because everyone's going to bring in a negative energy we all have. Yeah, that's that's just human, whether there was infidelity, where we all have fears, whether it's work or relationships or like split money. Like, we all have our fears with all of our insecurities. That's how much we let them come in. And if we don't speak on it, then it's going to continue to take over what we really want, the positivity. It's all about being able to manage them in a healthy way. Yeah, yes, bam, thanks for thanks for listening though, Yeah, thank you Jane twice and all in so and I love too that we have such a wide range of listeners on the show from teenagers too. I'll be curious to know how recent the affair was. Yeah, but it's probably you know, at least our timeline, because they said their marriage has been better than ever even their sex life. You know, we're reaching that point. So they're working on it. They're working on it, and you guys, for your kids, and that's a great you know, I don't know when infidite had happened. But that's really great for the kids to see that they're working through it, right, because I mean, I remember my parents got divorced. I knew about the affair. I mean, I basically caught my dad in the affair, and you know, they tried for maybe a month, but then my dad was in love with his affair girl. But it's like I saw, so I'm like that that is what I saw. That is what I saw men do. Like so it's like, but if I would have saw them work on it, then I maybe would have had a different perspective. So you saw that answer in which a lot of kids nowadays see because divorce raised No, it's more than that. More than that. I mean, that's insane that people just treat it like it's just a button that you just pushed. Well, I mean I can't talk. I've been divorced twice. But I mean, like again, mine were like I was nineteen, went through a drive fay didn't even know the guy, and then the other one. You know, we were married for a week and you know, obviously now we're best friends, but you know this, those were just weddings or not even the first one wasn't even a wedding. It was literally drive through in Vegas. But like nineteen But I mean, I think a marriage to me is you know what we're doing. We're working on our marriage. It's it's a couple of years in. It's we're like we're actively working. So that's why, like I sometimes forget, you know, but yes, it's insane how high rate. And I hate saying that because I mean, you're getting divorced. But it's like you tried too, though I tried. We went to couples therapy and we are just completely different people at different stages of awareness. But but here's my thing, though we're gonna You're gonna be on different stages though, like Mike and are, but you don't where people don't grow. Yeah, I just continued continued and continued to grow and and I try. I used to, believe me a lot of tools in my tool kit, and over the years, I pulled out every tool to try and help facilitate growth. And it just wasn't recepted, you know, right, wasn't received right, And that's that's a hard It's like, why would you want to stay in the unhappy marriage? Right? Still the answer for some people and that's okay. Well, yeah, it's just clearly there's a lot of people out there not doing the work, that's all. But that with that, there's facts out there. I'm not percentage. I'm really curious to actually know what it is. Someone should Google. Look, I have my computer from one in here in studio Google Studio. But yeah, I hope, I hope Jane's kids are are able to see the positive. And we don't know if they've kept it secret from them or whatever. But regardless of whether the teenagers know about or not, they're seeing their parents work on their marriage. They don't have to know that it's through infidelity. I have a question for you though, I mean, obviously for us, it's on Google. So when Julie has Google, she can like google it. Yeah, that's gonna be a tough day. But I but and if it wasn't on Google, I would want to tell her that when she's old enough to understand, like if something was going on in her relationship, like I would want her to understand like our dynamic to show like that we fought for it and you know, yes and no, and let me just say, let me tell her the specifics would. It would all depend if she was going through or son was going through a tough situation with infidelity in relationship or something like that, and the timing is right and they're of age to really understand. I would be right there in line with you to tell them together, Like when your parents were talking about some stuff. It's like to me, I'm like, that's some like that gives me encouragement to know that they're like still married this long and they had like a big issue, you know. But as the person who done that, if you just wanted to tell Jolie or tell not a spite, but just like the first issue that she comes up with her first boyfriend and she's fifteen and impressionable, and you say that you know, daddy cheated on me, so it's okay, like you can get stronger from this, And she's like, wait what because her image of me is not that person, because you know from the time you know now the only person, the only dash who knows is the president carrying, affectionate, loving father that I am now not the distant you know, a piece of crap. So for me, I wouldn't want that image tarnished unless it was something that she could actually learn from. So what happens when she does google it? I mean, granted we're still together, you know, because if we're a divorce and it's like, well, obviously like she's going to know, like there's issues together opimist Okay, okay, But I'm just saying, like, you know, but if we're when we're still together down the road and she does like what happens, and that's fine, that's fine. She discovers it and she wants to come. She might google it at four I mean, god, kids are online now, and she might and she probably will. That's probably how it's going to happen. And that's fine. If she googles that. Then we sit down and we had the discussion about what happened to an extent, about how we fought through it. You know, all the work that we put in. This is the kind of work that relationships take. Yeah, And because we love you, Julian, we love your brother, you know, we're going to do everything we possibly could to make this work. And look at us we have. Yeah, So it's just coming from us an unsolicited manner when it's not something relevant to a lesson she needs to learn. I just don't think is the way to do it. Yeah, okay, John, what'd you find? Good? God, this is the most comprehensive study it even with like um the occupations that people have that are most likely to get divorced. But I was reading this in every thirteen seconds, there is a divorce in America every thirteen seconds. Yes, that equates to seventies seven divorces per hour, six thousand, six hundred and forty six divorces per day, forty six thousand, five hundred and twenty three divorces per week, and two million, four hundred nineteen thousand, one hundred ninety six divorces per year. Rest there are nine divorces in the time it takes for one couple to recite their wedding vows, which is two minutes. People, nine divorces every two minutes. There's been three divorces since you started talking about this. Wow. Yeah, we need to divorce lawyers. Yeah right, yeah right, you're very aggressive. They are very aggressive. Are you kidding me? Every woman would hire Janna as Harry divorce lawyer and get them by the ball's second career hurts. That's I mean, that's sad. But but marriages are down to he says, are they people are getting married like they used to? And I think that's okay. I always say I am Goldie hawnting it the rest of my life. See, I disagree with that they do. But I for some reason, like, Okay, Amy, can we get Goldie hana on please? I want to ask her because I think for some people, yeah, it might work, but for me personally, it's I I do believe in the marriage. I do believe in that. What's that called like the foundation the sacrament of marriage? And I think that's for me that's I just I couldn't do that. I couldn't. I couldn't just be have a partner for the you know, if Michael and I were to get divorced, yeah, I mean I would want to get married again. Like even in my head, I'm like, no, I just I would just whatever. But for for what I want my kids to see and I don't know. I just believe in it. I believe in the spiritual union, whatever that may be in the future. I would love to have some incredible shaman do perform some incredible ceremony. But I don't feel like I need to go down to the courthouse and get a piece of paper that's stamped and gives me five days to get married. Yeah, I guess I'm just old school with that. Where are you out of mike? Um, we have therapy, couple of therapy and seven minutes okay, and then not answering that question. No, Yes, I'm I'm old school. And my parents have been married for gosh, thirty probably close to thirty five years, um, And they've been the only ones that have either been married or remain married on both sides of my family, the only ones. And they are each one of four children, the only ones out of both sides of my family. So they have been the foundation for that, and they have been through their their crap, and so they have been a role model in a relationship since of that, and I strongly believe marriage because of them. And according to the study, your fourteen percent less likely to get divorced because of my parents, because of your parents. But then but then, like, okay, so I hear that. But then like, but then why didn't you like like why didn't you love our marriage? More? Like it depends on everyone still has issues, Like if you idle, I know, but I just for me, I'm like, if you idolize our marriage so much a lot more now in the place that I'm not right, I have a greater appreciation with what we're going through, with what they have because we're in the trenches doing work, and I know my parents were in the trenches doing work for a long long time. So I see what we can have. And they're probably more in love now than they ever were. Right, and you too will are in will continue. But but I will say I do sig with Genda's sense of if that makes two people happy, well, of course, do whatever makes you happy. I'm just saying my personal opinion is I believe in marriage. My only fear with the Goldie Haunting it is someone um is one of the partners in that relationship or not. Maybe they're not being completely honest in genuine like maybe they do really want to get married, but their partner is so set on Goldie haunt in it that is the thing, um that they just conformed to that. So that's my only fear. Every both both parties would have to feel the same way, would have to feel safe, and there's not resentment under right. Okay, So this has been an awesome show and I want to thank Michael jen easton UM a huge thank you to threat Up. Remember to go to threat up dot com slash Janna. You can go to a t T dot com slash podcast, Sugarbear Hair dot com slash Janna, beach Body on Demand remember to text Joanna to thirty thirty and Skyler dot com slash Janna. Also, in celebration of National Chocolate Cookie Day, it was on Saturday. By the way, Bristol Farms delivered some of their famous the Cookie the studio. So if you ever need to sati if you ever need to satisfy your sweet tooth, this is honestly the way to go. They're fantastic. Try them. They're baked fresh every single day. And in August eleven, This coming Saturday is National Panini Day and famed Italian sandwich shop Parolo's Panino is celebrating big. All paninos at Parolo's Panino will be priced at five dollars Friday, August eleven. It's open eleven am to eleven pm daily on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles. Stopped by Parolos to see why the world Panino means amazing effing sandwiches, sandwich and just for the record, Thank you Bristal Farms, because this whole show I did with like cookie my teeth and I've been like trying to pick it with my tongue the whole time on my phone, like how many talcolate chips have? Myth? But thank you having killing them? All right, baby, you ready go to a couple of therapy. Let's do it. Good buck, thanks bye? Would you ready go to it?