Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hi girls, Hi, Hey, Okay, I have things I have to say. There's a lot of things to say. There's a lot of things. Where would you like to start. Let's start with the Tom's Oh Tom, Tom, Double Tom, Double Tom. Because the apologies that the apologies have come out, Tom sand of all you guys, I'm like invested in a show that I've never watched. I literally didn't even know what these people look like. But I'm now invested. I do know, and you know what, I just want to I want to pause there and say that if you've been invested since the very beginning of this show, I am by no means like, I'm not a bandwagoner. I just because of the topics discussed, feel a little more informed and so now I'm a little more invested because they're getting a little defensive. The people that have been like that have given their lives to the show, are now a little defense. Yeah, okay, would you like me? Oh? Jackie just said, who broke it down? By the way, a lot of people were like, thanks for breaking it down, because we had no idea either. It was intense. Jackie broke it down first, and she just said we welcome bandwagoners. That sounds like you're one of the good ones, Jackie. So would you like to Would you like for me to read Tom Sandoval's apology? Did we not already hear his? Well, all he did was say about his shorts and Sandy bar and this is where we get off the danda wagon, and we've hopped off. Okay, so we did another. He did another apology. He needed to because because he didn't mention Arianna. I know that first one was not even enough to read or not to read. That's the question to read. Copy that. I want to first and foremost, apology to everyone I've heard through this process. Most of all, I want to apologize to Ariana. I made mistakes. I was selfish and made reckless decisions that hurt somebody I love. No one deserves to feel that pain so traumatically and publicly. Copy that, Amen. I can only imagine how devastating this has been for Arianna and everyone around us. I feel horrible about that. My biggest regret is that I dishonored Ariana. I never meant to disappoint so many people, including our loving families and friends. My love for Ariana was stronger than any camera could have ever captured. Some of our best times together were never filmed the same ghost for some of our biggest struggles. I wish things happened in a different order and our relationship was not severely tarnished, and that it ended with the same respect with for her that it began with. I owed Ariana better. I am beyond sad that it ended the way that it did. The choices I made hurt so many people. I acted in a way that clashes with who and how I want to be. I will continue to reflect and work on myself. I have work to do, I always have and I always will. I wish that was the first apology I agree with. It's a little cheapened to me that we came out with the sandy bar or whatever it was. Thing first I agree with that, but then I also think, well, he needed to take a second with it to really sit with how because I just don't think I'm glad he did take a second. I just wish he would have maybe mentioned something like I have to formulate my thoughts around publicly apologizing Ariana. In the meantime, please don't let my servers go broke because you don't want to like that would have been well, but here's the here's the thing, and I'm going to call myself out like my twenties cheating Janna, they're cheaters, are selfish bottom line, I was selfish when I cheated. I was selfish. Sure, So they don't really care. They're not going to go to the person that they hurt because that's not their main concern. What was his main concern at the Times bar? Yeah, oh yeah, I mean definitely. And you know I said last week, and I don't think it's a popular opinion. I don't like these public apologies period. I don't like them. I don't think and I'm very unpopular. I realized that. But to me, none of it ever sounds sincere. You're saying it for a millions of people, You're not saying it for the person you hurt. And that's just where I never can take them fully seriously for what they are. Plus, I think we all know too much on the back end on like this industry side, where we know that a lot of those apologies aren't written by the people that that post them anyway doing it try and protect themselves, and that that just I don't. I don't. I don't like them. They're not They're not my thing, Devil's advocate. If it was someone close to you that was in the public eye, I'd want an apology publicly, wouldn't you be like, where's the apology? Use you're there. They've opened their lives, right like the Kardashians, every people that do the reality shows. You open your lives up for people to be in your life essentially, you know, I mean, you open yourself up in here, Chris. You open so people feel like they have a right to kind of dissect or whatever. Wouldn't you want to them to or if someone did that for then you to go. I feel deserved like I should get like I'm sorry, Yes, but I almost think that they deserve a sorry that's from him or her, to them, to the people that were watching, to the people that were invested. I'm sorry to you. That seems sincere to I see what you're saying, Okay, And if you want to mention, and yes, there are things I'm dealing with the people that I hurt or whatever. But if I'm that person that's hurt and I see a public apology, but I'm not getting that personally f that I don't want your public apology. I want you to be sincere and talk to me for real about what really happened, you know, And so it just seems so I don't know, it just seems so like it's something you have to do now ironically am writing between both of you? Yeah, I mean, and I hear y'all like, I mean, I'm glad he did that at the same time, especially after the first one. But it's just like, you don't know, I mean, you know, is he really sorry? Is he really saying sorry to her? Who knows? I don't know. Would you like to hear Raquel's apology? Oh? Yeah, okay, I feel so in the No, there's no excuse. I am not a victim and I must own my actions, and I deeply regret hurting Arianna. I want to apologize for my actions and my choices, foremost to Arianna and to my friends and the fans, like you just said, so invested in our relationships. There is no excuse. I'm not a victim and I must own actions deeply regret ran I am reflecting on my choices, speaking to a counselor, and I'm learning things about myself, such as patterns of codependency and addiction to being and feeling loved. I have sought emotional validation through intimate connections that are not healthy without regard for my own well being, sometimes negatively affecting others, and often prioritize in the intimate connection over my friendships. I'm taking steps to understand my behavior and make healthier choices. This is called love addiction. Is what this is? She says that or did you say that? I'm saying that because she didn't say that, but that is yes, yes, yes, but that is the definition of a love addict, especially like talking to account, like all the things around it, because I've become counseling to end my unhealthy behavioral cycle, learned to set stronger emotions. I mean, but this is. And I was talking to another friend who is a love addict, and she was saying, you know this is I mean, that's she's basically saying she's a love addict without saying she's a love addict. So just your thoughts on that. I like hers better. Hers doesn't bother me as much. I don't know. I think there's a lot of ownership, but there's a lot of ownership, and it doesn't feel like she is forcing herself to apologize to these people, you know what I mean, it's just taking ownership what she's doing, apologize to the fans. You know, I don't know. I occurs better. What do you think about the addiction piece of it? Oh, I think that there's definitely true. I don't know anything about her, but I think there's definitely truth to love addiction. Okay, but correct me if I'm wrong. Did you believe or not believe in sex addiction? I don't know. I truly don't know. So what would then be the difference between love addiction and a sex addiction? We but like it really truly, because like that's it's blaming the same thing, right, So she's basically saying, I did this because of my need to feel loved and wanted, valued and whatever. Sex addiction is the same thing. You just have you know that you commit the act? Well, she, I mean, she did both, right, And I don't know that much about love addiction, Like I love addiction is basically I mean almost I'm not gonna I'm gonna I'm not a therapist here, but from the Wood studies that i've or not studies, but all the things that I've gone through with the past sex addiction. There is the love addiction peace in there because it's that filling that void, and then they take it basically the step further with this, the sexual part of it a validation to extreme levels. Yes, whereas a love addict might just have an affair, a sex addict is calling prostitutes and it can be you know, or can be porn or whatever it is. But unhappy to answer your question, I still don't fully know how I feel about the sex addiction piece. I think there were times I believed it. There were times I felt like it felt like an excuse. But can that be any addiction? Sure, I mean there's times you can be an alcoholic, but that's an excuse, you know. So I I don't know. I don't know. That's a hard question because I I truly do not know whether I how I feel about sex addiction. I mean, obviously it's just a real thing, but I mean, really, you could put this in under the category right of a love addiction too. I mean love it's saying okay, well I'm a love addict, and to put the blame there. Sure, but wouldn't we all say no, not going to categorize all of us in there. But I know twenties Jannah was a love addict. Twenties Kristen is a love addict. I mean even you know, early thirties Janna love addict. You know where it's like it's wanting to feel loved and validated and hurting people along the way. And so it wasn't an excuse, that's just the pattern and that's the addiction, right yeah, along the way, and that's the unfortunate the addiction. So it's like, there's that's just the name for it, right were as some would be just called a cheater. Like basically when I was talking to you know, the conversation was actually with Rachel Yu coul Tell, she's like, we should talk about love addiction because you know, when she was labeled the cheater, She's like, I was going through things, you know, emotionally that like to feel validated and loved. And yes, it sucks that it was broke up a marriage, but you know, we all have unhealthy we can we can all have unhealthy patterns, and that's just that wasn't you know, I don't know, yeah, absolutely, how do you feel Christen, okaybe you're a little quiet there with your a little baby. Well, I just have a little baby is not getting so little anymore. I feel like I have swallowed a whole human struggling. That's why I sit back here like this tiny person. Um. I just I appreciate the ownership because I think sometimes the title of addiction is sometimes I have to be careful because people were. She also didn't say that. She didn't say that no, no, I know, yeah, I'm just talking in our outside of her. Yes, I appreciated her ownership. That would be like a sentence period. I feel like, yeah, that copy copy that. Um. I just I have a hard time when people maybe use that as an excuser, hide behind something without the ownership piece. So I appreciated the reversal of it, if you will, right, Like not saying I'm a love addict, yeah, just saying like this is the stuff I need to work on. This is not okay, and I feel responsible for it, and I agree. I just want to say again, I don't envy anyone making. I don't know how old she is, but she doesn't look super old. I saw her picture for the first time today. Jackie will let us know in about two seconds, like her birthday is she's a Gemini that likes long walks on the beach. Um, I just can yes, I mean looked back, we got back in the hot tub time machine. You saw this Kristen thirteen years ago. Holy Matt girl. I mean at twenty five, I thought I was a good idea to do road rules. So let's just start there. I mean that there's a lot of growth to be had there, so I don't envy someone. It's a very mature response for someone who has to live and she's chosen too, and I get that. But imagine making all your mistakes so publicly and then being like with the world we have today. You know, it's like you're so young and you're making mistakes for the whole world. Seem like you're learning from them while everybody else is seeing them. Yeah. Yeah, and at an age where you think it's a good idea, right. And I think if we remember doing this test with my friend Brian, who's a sex and love addict, and she's we made people because we were pitching the show about love addiction, and we made people take the test if you're a love addict and like there's like nine out of ten people scored like that they were love addict because it's we all want to feel loved and worthy and chosen, and unfortunately it can go past a point where it's harmful and it could be relationships. But also there's that piece where it's like you don't even realize who you're hurting in those moments, Like I can look back and go God, like, that was so shitty of me, But I was so in my own world of like wanting to feel validated, that I didn't even think about the other person. Right, going back to what you're saying earlier, like, yes, I believe you can be addicted to anything. So to take away that sex addiction thing, it's not that I don't think it's a real thing. I absolutely think you can be addicted to anything. I'm probably addicted to diet coke, Like you can literally be addicted to anything. I just think we can also hide behind it, like you said, right right, you know, And and maybe part of hiding behind it is not realizing who you're hurting in the process, and maybe it does take therapy or learning to really not you know, see past that point. I don't know I haven't been in that position, but well, if you let it consume in, you go, well, I'm just I'm just a sex addictor I'm just a love attic. This is just what we do. Well, that's that's the piece where it's like you have you don't even want to change. It's like I think I look at like my AX and people like they genuinely want to change. It's just hard, sure, you know. And it's like I you know, in the past too, like have to catch yourself to be like, Okay, you don't like that version, don't go back to like to the response that you would want to go to because you want someone to like you, or you want someone to choose or you want someone to like show you that like you're you know that you're worthy or whatever. So it's like having to choose the right way is hard, but you're acknowledging. And that's the people that just fall back on it. That's the thing. Like you can go, Okay, I might be addicted to X, but you don't let it just go well screw it. Yeah, I'm just gonna keep drinking it and not give a flying f Yeah, yeah, I mean I do really love my diet coke. But I do I really feel like half a one a day? I'm doing good. I thought you were like I thought you were at zero a day. Yeah you kind of. Oh no, I could it out for like shoes back when what did they call this relapse? But when was I to zero? I thought you were at zero? No? Never did we not just travel together a month ago? Well, listen, I was so busy having seven lunches. I was no. I actually it out for like a month one time. Maybe that's anything a pound? This was like a year ago. Oh, and I was like, screw this. So you did it to lose weight or curious? I was definitely curious to see if I would lose weight because a lot of people told me, I bet you'd lose weight if you cut out diet coke, and I was like, okay, I'll try it. And then I didn't lose anything. Well it's because it's like it's fake sugar. So it's like there's a debate there. Did you notice? So now I would like to challenge you to doing it to see how much bloat you have verse not weight, but bloat information and pay so much with all like those things that it'd be interesting to seat. But no, our girlfriend Pam has it on the Plexus plan. But having said that, um at home, I do one a day. When I travel it endepping more. Sometimes I have to one. Do you like get the shape crap out of it? I hate it. I just hate it. It's not good for your body at all. None of it is good for your body. I just need to say that because I actually value love you when I care about your health and your organs. I do so. It would be really not a good friend if I was like, good for you, honey. Now, all that being said, get your bow, toss my happy spon. You know what I like to do is just call myself out for anybody else can so fine, it's fine. I'm happy with myself anyway, moving on, I'm happy with myself. I love myself and my diet coke cheers. I mean I'd rather you drink a coke instead of diet. Oh no, not me. I mean then then you'd actually it's a wife of a pepsi artist. I'd rather you drink a pepsi. They're terrible. I don't love any who is anyone watching a Bachelor of Seasan? Nope? Do you know. Fun fact, I've never watched episode of any of that. Oh, I think my friend Christina is on that. I don't know. I think they're down to the final four. I don't think there's an Andrew Christine. I have no idea. I don't I don't watch it. I just saw a thing earlier about how he wasn't going to sleep with anyone. Oh, I did see that. Do we believe that? Kind of great? You know, I'm all for it not sleeping, well, especially in that situation. I don't know. I just feel like that's not a debate for me, I would say, especially am I getting out of this between me and Jana Grammer. You wouts to know that I had a really big development in therapy yesterday that could kind of loop into this A tiny bit that I, well, this may not be a newsplash to anyone else, but I don't trust men. Okay, that's a big that's big. Um. I don't fully trust men, and I don't super trust a lot of people in general. Amy pointed out, I could see that. So with that, if I was on a show the Bachelor, I would be like iron gated, yea below the belt. Nobody's getting in absolutely, because you're all a bunch of scumbags. Okay, but I don't believe that what others scumbags know that you would actually do that? Oh I do you? Everybody made out with somebody on road rules and I didn't bible. She's like, but I gave a good no. We all know. I don't like to speaking of that. I'm on pelvic rest, so I had to retire my old ways. Why is it? Can I ask the question? I only if I can differ and not answer. Is it because you're your dad? Of course? It was a real we had a real breakthrough yesterday. You know. It's interesting because I think people have a lot of opinions about therapy and I've been going to this grief and trauma therapist that Jamma suggested right after I lost like five people in eleven months and one of them was my dad. So that's the speed dating version of it. And I was like, yeah, and I've been going to the piece since I was twenty seven, so this isn't new to me. And we kind of just hit this little patch I felt like where I was like, oh okay, and she kind of put me on graduation and was like, you can come whenever you'd like. And I was like okay, and I was feeling really good. And then yesterday I was in there and I was feisty. So I don't get super I get more emotional when i'm pregnant, for sure, but I don't get irrational. I feel like I get really clear and I just it becomes very black and white and very decisive. And I was in there. I came in with both my heartbeats yesterday and all my decisiveness and I was like, da da Da da da. And she was like okay, and she goes, I'm gonna say something and I think that we need to like dig in a little, and I said okay, and she was like, I think you need to be more angry at your dad, and I think no one's allowed you to probably be. And I was like, well, then I started crying and she goes, those tears are hot. I know we're getting somewhere, and she got a notepad, so I know that really took us for a dark day to her and shows like that and people like that, I don't trust anyone and no one's getting my body. Yeah, so I saw a because you know, I always watched those inspirational videos like Ja Shetty and all of them, and there was one that was saying it wasn't Jay's, but it was the problem with a lot of therapist. Therapists won't go to childhood trauma and they just kind of keep it very surface where every most every issue, which was why you're acting a certain way to your spouse or why you did X, Y and Z, it always goes back to a childhood trauma and so you know your trust with men. I just have never seen a man's actions and words match that in that means something for sure, and never saw that growing up. It was always due as I say, not as I do. And that is, by the way she identified as a pretty shitty parenting motto, which I also enjoy the validation of that. But like I, she was like, well, of course, and so then I was gifted a son to raise, which is not lost on me at all, to teach me about how boyhood and manhood can look stewarded well and with a different kind of care. And my dad also had his own trauma, so he of course you know it's and came from I'm not making excuses by any means, but came from a generation where they didn't do the deep dive like we all do. Yeah, So I told her, I was like, I believe in Jesus and God that loves me, and I have a son that I have to raise. So somewhere between all of that, her and I are going to start the untangling. Sorry, well, I was going to ask a question back to kind of what you were asking though, can you not sleep with all these people or want to sleep with all these people for healthy reasons? Like not you in general, but like is let's say there's not a childhood trauma there and you just don't want to sleep with four or five different however many men. Oh, I'm not saying that he's got childhood trauma. That's not what that's not that's that's not why he's sleeping with them. You're saying he does or doesn't. I'm not saying I'm not waiting child trauma. I'm saying I'm saying, if you didn't have the childhood trauma, do you think that you would, Oh, that would be a different story for you, only because she got childhood. I mean they had a little slut phase in college. I think we all didn't, maybe not Catherine No, I definitely didn't. Okay, it's fine. No, it just brought up you're with me, honey and never going to be okay, I do us anymore. So I'm just gonna it's just four is if I have to be in that fine, um. And it's not a judgmental question. I'm just cutious if like that's like a trauma response, I think mine is ways, I mean mine is so. I don't know if I could even see it in any other way because I just don't. I go to severe indefense. There's an intimacy disconnect. Yeah, I default to severe independent, right, Yeah, this is an interesting topic. We need to let us down a dark one. We need to we need to reopen that up, maybe with a therapist. And I'm interested in that. Yeah, it's good because a good it's a good question. Cap. We're gonna take a break and then we're gonna get Jennifer Nettles on the podcast like her, hy girl, I have been you are. I know I shouldn't lead with that, but my word takes one to no one. Oh Jennifer, hey girl, it's been a minute since I've seen you out in this world. How are you? Yeah? And this in this wild world. Right, Yeah, it's it's something, it's something else. I'm good, I'm whole, I'm you know, like everybody else like busy, crazzy, tired, and tired, terrified, all of it at one time, right, and sometimes terrified slice at the top of the list, and that's okay, current man, Right, those are interchangeable. They moves around and that list. Well, I think it's interesting too, like when you say things like that because I think, you know, I was having a UM. I was sit down with my therapist and I was just telling her like, I'm just I feel stuck and frustrated. And I think when people see, you know, Jennifer Nettles or someone that's in this spotlight, you have it all figured out. You're fine, you've got money, you're great, you're good, like you don't have like you're not stuck, you don't feel those things. And it's like it's we all, we all go through that, and it's it's nice to hear, you know, not just like oh yeah, everything's great, you know, because yeah it's not. Sometimes you know, it's hard. Yeah yeah, so sometimes it's super lifey, you know. Um, And that's okay too. We go through all of these seasons, we go through all of these times. We you know, it's it's a big life and it's full, right, it's very full. What do you think it's been the um the thing? I guess, well, yeah, exactly, welcome, welcome to the show. This is a this is this is where we go. Um, we'll get light, we'll get into farmers. But I do want to know, uh, you know, when you kind of get in that space since we did go there, and now I'm curious, like, how do you because again things are you you live up still public life, you know, and things like how do you kind of reframe your mindset to to you know, maybe is it is it reframing it's a gratefulness or do you just sit with there? Do you like, do you go to therapy? Like what do you do when you're when you're in that when it's tough? All of the above, all of the above. Thank God for my therapist, who I've been with now for probably over twenty years, you know, thank God for her. I find that super helpful. I think, you know, I often use what I say as gratitude as a shield, you know, in that way, just like out in front of me because there is much to be grateful for. There's that old adage that says, like, you know, if we all put our problems out on the table with each other, we'd probably grab and reach for our own ones back, okay in terms of if we had to have anyone else's right. So all that being said, yeah, gratitude is a big protector in that way. And then in speaking of protection, in talking about you know, being in the public eye, and I have definitely learned over the years, you know, to be super selective and super protective. I definitely I want my art to be seen, I want my art to be known. I won't want my work to be celebrated, but I also want to be able to have, like anyone else, in a safe place to come to at the end of the day. And that has become kind of a rarity in our culture too. We slid into this like must know everything behind the scenes. Like I kind of miss the old school glam Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, we miss We've lost the mystery. And I yeah, for myself, I mean it's protective to maintain that, but like you, I miss it too. You know. I used to love to be able to just go on a deep dive in a in a very I mean, it was a shallow dive considering. But like you find an article about your favorite artist, your favorite actors, your favorite you know, musician, whatever it may be in your magazine and you're looking at that, and that's that's what you get. You get an interview you know what I'm saying, and it's very curated and it's very specific and you can trust it. Okay, there isn't you know, a ton of other voices out there trying to put words into people's mouths or trying to at the I mean, and nowadays, as we know where social media is can earned you know, when there is conflict equals engagement, and so they try to foster that conflict wherever they can, you know, and they try to keep people polarized, and they try to make everything as scandalous as possible, and everyone is outraged and it's just like which I am tired. Okay, like tired, which I am tired. But they feel like they have they get an invitation, you know, oh for sure they do now and and listen, if the machine perpetuates itself, ladies does in the sense that there are people who see the attention that they get, and so they are constantly, you know, like right here with everything, constantly on themselves for everything, for every anything and everything. And for some people that's great. They enjoy, you know, fostering a sense of community that way. But really it's gone. I think the narrative has been lost in a lot of ways in terms of what the pros and what the positives are of that kind of sharing and that kind of access. Nobody deserves that kind of access. I don't want to see you on your peloton bike with maybe I should like no wash my mouth right now, but you know what I'm saying, it's like I don't want to see that. I don't want to see it. Like like if you, if you do something, you're here, you're offering right now something to the world that people need. But they don't need to see on your peloton bike. They don't need that, you know. They need what you're doing right now. They need your music, they need your talking, they need your ideas, they need you know, and not to say that you can't be inspired and inspiring, like look at me, I'm out here trying to do this even though it's hard, and you can do it too, like there are ways to spin it, no pun intended, but you know, we don't need all of it. We don't need all of it. It's so destroyed acting, it's so distract it's very noisy, and I think it's like one thing doesn't work for everybody, right, like because for as many unfollows as I get to get follows, like some things people just don't like and you know, I don't love, you know. I've tried to find a balance of not oversharing but still being authentic and still sharing, you know. So it's it's a it's a really fine balance and it's it's it's honestly something I've struggled with, like trying to find the balance of it. Uh yeah, And I think with the balance, like you know, comes the other the outside noises. And I'm curious, like where where you go when you know, because you've you've had areas in your career where people might have said hateful things or like why would you break up? Or this either or the other, you know, with with things that you've gone through, and it's like how do you just go no, like not not receiving that sometimes obviously we have to unplug um, but we also have to offer ourselves with perspect and this is why I think acts will close community. You know, from from an evolutionary perspective where where sociology is concerned. As human beings, we're really not supposed to have anything bigger than like a community of one hundred and fifty people around us. Those are the closest ones that you know. It starts with our family, um, which brings with it its own stuff, But it starts with our family, and it continues in those concentric circles you know, within within a certain community size. So it's overwhelming to have all of these people able to being able to offer their opinions not only alike or a dislike, but like actual words, context and words you know, for what they feel. Um, it's it's overwhelming. All that's overwhelming. So I think unplugging is important and then keeping that close knit group you're real friends, like your ladies who you know, who are your your tribe, you know what I'm saying, and coming back to that and talking to people in real time and going to dinner, you know, and taking time to look deeply into the eyes of your beloved and like to really put your phone down when you're with your children, and you know all of those things. It's just such a distraction. And then not to mention how much your feelings can be hurt. I mean, let's just say it, like we're human beings and someone can make a comment, one little comment. You could have five billion positive comments and one person says that one thing on the comment, and your day is ruined. Nobody should have that power. You do not live rent free in here, you know what I'm saying, Like you should not have that power. Well, and that's something too. I was I was talking to Catherine about KAB. I never told you this, but I wanted to do a show where you basically you'd confront your online bullies because whoever, whatever they're like, they're going through something too. So it's almost like you can end up having in a way empathy for the bully as well, because like they're dealing with something and you can kind of sit with the person and go, Okay, like this hurt me, and like what's hurting you to basically say these things? You know, And so I thought it was kind of cool. But yes, no, no, I love that, you know. I'm like, remember I love it too, Like who was it that did. I think it was on balance where he did this whole series when he was like, read, they would have celebrities reading their nasty Twitter fanily, Yeah, and I've had to I got off Twitter. I was just like, I haven't. I haven't been on it in years. And then when everything has just gotten so crazy with it, I was like that, I don't have time. I can't do every single Twitter, TikTok Instagram. I can't. I can't. Yeah, But all that was to say, like he would have them read those nasty comments, and when you hear it, it's it's shocking. You can't be leave that absolute strangers would be so bold, Yeah, and so unfounded. That's what really gets Like, you know nothing. You don't know me, you don't know my heart, you don't even know my birthday. Get out of here. What do you have to say out? Jennifer? Are you? Are you UM? What's your background with UM? Like? Are you are you religious at all? Or where do you fall with that? I chose and call myself a recovering Baptist. I grew up in the Southern Baptist church that we went to church three times a week, okay, Wednesday and twice on Sunday. Wow, um, yes ma'am and yes ma'am and amen. I mean there's a part of that. I'm so grateful for it because it definitely gave me such a background of faith. I do think a spiritual life. But um, I you know, for since that time, I have definitely expanded and I practiced yoga, and I practiced some elements of Buddhism, and I bring and I you know, I'll even harken back to I love the womanly arts and what we would call the craft and ancient ancient religions, nature religions, all of those I can pull from at a different time. And I'm like, listen, whatever will help. I don't care what do you want to do, con or something, kill a chicken, throw the bomb. If something is going to bring me good vibes, bring me good and energy, bring me to that place of center and remind me of that that face and that worthiness, then yeah, I'm I'm into it. And you are obviously into farmer wants a wife. So I mean when when you got that call, were you just kind of like what what were your like initial like what my initial responsive? No? Thank you, because I'm not really into the whole dating reality dating genre. I've never watched it. It always just seemed just too forced and a lot of wanting that that scandal and wanting, you know, people to be crying at the end of some emanations, ceremony. Everything sounded so just dramatics. So I've never watched those and I've never been into them. So at first I was like no, And then when I heard more about it and the success that it has had, this really turned me in onto it. Because obviously it's had success as a show, but the success it's had in relationships. This this show has been around for thirteen years, it's been in thirty two different countries, and it has had, as a result, over one hundred and eighty marriages and over four hundred and ten children. Oh I love that the people, and a lot of those marriages still marriages to my understanding, you know, I mean, if there's four hundred ten children, they wait, they at least made it long enough to go that far. So yeah, and so I just felt like, oh, there's something, there's something authentic about this, And so I watched one of the Australian episodes and thought, oh no, this has heart. This isn't. This isn't about the scandal or the drama. This is about real connection and real people. And sure they're doing it in what I call the hyper reality of cameras, but they and then having done the show, now it is definitely true. You know, you root for these guys. I rooted for them and for these women and wanting them to find love. It's also bringing light to some other things like wildly important and overlooked so often, which is like the farmers of our world. I mean, we we forget. I was raised in a tiny town and I was an FHA girl, and I had a girl. Okay, but none of these guys, these are Have you looked at the men. These are not the farmers, your typical farmers, so I want to come on, They're not the guys that did driver your tractor to school day when I was in high school, if I'm honest, But I don't know about that. I bet if you, if you, if you looked back at some of the I mean, obviously a lot of women are where we're school and they're older, and the farmers are older. That's his own. But these guys are young. You know, they're all in their thirty and they are real life farmers. They're you know, they have cattle, they have forces, and this is their life and their lifestyle. But we have to think, you know, there are people out there who have to continue this tradition. They don't all look like our grandparents. They can't, right, how are we going to eat? And many and many of these guys are actually you know, second third generation. That's well, it's I'm excited to watch it. It's on Fox Farmer, Once a Wife. It premiered um last week, and uh so I'm definitely and I love you. I've always loved you. I think I love how you've used your voice in a way, um, you know, for women and country music, and I love that you, um you didn't put yourself in a box like you you're acting, you're you know, you're hosting, you're you know, doing the collab album and it's just I just you, Um, You've You've been very inspiring for me to watch and just to see how you've always hold yourself with such grace and presence. And it's just I appreciate that, like I'm thank you. Well, I'm seeing a lot of that here right now too. You know, not only the grace and presence, but also of you all. But also you know, the expansion into new things, the the the honoring you know, your inspirations and trying new things and not staying in a box. I appreciate that. I love that. So what's next for you, Jennifer? Like you've done, like you do? Like what's next? You know, I can't speaking of you know what Jenna said. I I can't stay in a box. And so I'm constantly you know, I'm a virgo. So so part of what that is is like we see things with new eyes. We love new things. We constantly approach things like you know, it's the first time. So that's sort of my limbs on the world. And so I love expanding into newness and pushing myself in that way. So I've we just announced last week. Um, I'm a part of the new Exorcist movie that's coming out. I have a key role in that. I love you, But I hate scary movies. What do I do we watch? Here's the thing. I can't watch them either. Yeah, watch it during the day and you can and now you know, you can hit if it gets too intense, you can hit. You see it in the theaters. There you go, you watch your f and then you tell them, let them, let them know if they can handle it. Okay, um, yeah, but uh so I'm super excited about that. You know, I love I love all for storytelling, and so my acting is just another piece of bad. I've been working on a musical for a number of years now that it takes a long time to get these things right, and but the momentum for that is really picking up. So I hope to be able to announce more about that. And it's definitely my obsession. When I'm not you know, doing something else, I'm wanting to be creating on that. That's awesome, Jennifer. We need to do a movie together, like we gotta, we gotta figure something out. That would be really but it would be so good to be a romantic comedy because I want to come to set, but I'm scared everything rom com not horror. Ye please please, Well, Jennifer, thank you so much for coming on. We really appreciate and thank you for just being open to just talk about, you know, the highs and the lows. Yeah, this is my favorite of the day. I have to say, it just felt like a homecoming. You know, like, oh yeah, they sure my people high we have aggressively when we're in a person. So you're yere in la. Al right girl, al right, thank you bye. Such a beautiful I love her, you guys, like I used to frock out to sugar Land, like the baby girl was like trying to be all cool, but we're all like I remember the concert when she came out and she wore this incredible like this is how I knew she would always be an actress because the way her stage presence was. When she was on stage, I was just like, oh, this is not for babies, like she owns it. I'm gonna let you do this. Love love her so much, genuine and I really enjoyed the point of like I just have to touch on this real quick, but I enjoyed that. Like our circles shouldn't be as big. Yeah, oh you guys, and bitch, I'm tired. I'm tired, and circles shouldn't be big. But it's interesting about the circles because even when your circles are small, you might have a mole anything else you want to share a graamer Nope, not yet. No, I don't trust anyone. According to Amy. So apparently there's more my circle too. We're finding out. Don't worry. We gotta I trust you? Do you trust me? Are we the mole see or each other? We'll see. I gotta. We got a p I word getting hired. There a girlfriend, so we'll see it. Wouldn't that be interesting? Our therapist is like, h but there's two monkeys in a room together. If our nice appointment is a joint appointment. We've gotten to the bottom of this quickly and it's been a pleasure all the time. It's soon I wind down. Okay, I wish it was that easy. I'm too protective of you to be a mole. Oh I would feel never. Oh I am so like I run tight pr for you. People are like, how's Jana? I was like, She's great? Like hi dat. They will never they will never be a time where they know where I'm going or who I'm going to dinner with. I just nope, nothing. We'll see baby already now. I already know I love you Atroit strong Um all right, hey guys, yeah, we'll see you in Okay. So we got DC Wednesday and we've got Philly on Thursday. See you there, ye one two three Bye. I wonder how much they hate that, ye guys,