Kelly and Chip discuss the new reality of texting being the most used format for communication in our culture in 2024. They debate on certain texting etiquette, response times, lack of response at all and how a lot of the issues still boil down to bad communication skills.
"It's like our technology has evolved with mass communication, but our emotional intelligence has not."
Kelly also brings up the difference between generations on response time via text and it's actually the opposite of what you may assume.
Email us at theedge@velvetsedge.com
HOSTS:
Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com
Chip Dorsch // @chipdorsch
Happy Friday, Chip A t G. Motherfucking ay, is.
It going to be another beautiful weekend here in Nashville, Tennessee.
I don't even know. My world has been so crazy this week that checking the weather has not been top of my agenda.
I mean, like, I love this time of year because it's like you for coming out of winter, you forget that, like you're gonna have nice weather at some point, you know, and then you start waking up and it's nice every day, and you're like, there's no way this is going to continue.
I wish that the listeners could see you talking about weather right now. You're like, he has the biggest smile, he's using his hand, he's very animated, very you seem happy, joyous and free.
Yeah. I mean because it's like now we can go drink on patios and stuff. You know, there's nothing that's what. Yeah, and Wave Country opens, you.
Know, Oh God, can you tell the listeners about if you are new to this podcast and you have not heard Chip talk about Wave Country, you obviously haven't listened in summer, but it's about to be summer, so I feel like you should give them some backstory because I'm sure we will be hearing about it.
Yes, So Wave Country is I don't even know when it opened, like probably early eighties or something.
And so it's basically my age.
Yeah, it's like older than Kelly Cool and it is owned by the city and it's just a big wavepool that's got a it's got four slides, five slides. One of them is for children and you know if you like swimming with band aids.
Like, so this is where you and I could not be more different. Because Chip loves a water park, like living his best life. He will go by himself. He's the creepy guy in the wavepool by himself, right I am.
I I will just like lay on a float. And you know they're often playing like Jack FM, and I think that's a good enough like every every city as Jack FM.
Now Jay does what kind of music?
Because it likes the best hits of today and yesterday, Like it's just like kind of the best. It's like, you know, like there's classic hits, but then there's modern stuff too. There's songs that everyone knows, you know, like any big karaoke.
Song is played on Did you want to give us an example?
You know, like don't stop believing you stop, yeah, or like sweet child.
Of Mine, but then it will be background music.
Yeah, so I will go there by myself and sit on a float and just stare up at the sun and sing out loud to jack at them. And I know everyone in the pool, including the lifeguards who are sixteen and seventeen years old, right or like, who is this crazy person?
Do you feel Do you feel like in case of an emergency, a sixteen or seventeen year old child essentially could save you? No, that wave country, I just want to detect so cool.
I mean they do have those like little floating torpedo things.
I don't know about those because I myself do not go to water parks because I hate them.
Well, you know they use them at like on day Watch, you know that thing like oh.
Yeah, that's all I can picture of Pamia Anderson running down the beach in a rebikini carrying one of those yeah, oh yeah, yeah. They don't have her rescuing you from a wavefool.
I mean, that'd be different. I would purposely drown.
Even the gay men love Pamela, who doesn't. I just have this thing about sitting in water and I know there's chlorine, so don't come at me about this, But there's something about the wavepool that I find so disturbing. First of all, you know, every single person in there is peeing, and I think probably doing other bathroom things in there. Second of all, like you mentioned the band aids, Like why are there always just floating band aids at water parks? It's just so it just feels so unsanitary to me, and I can't get over it. And I'm not even like OCD or germophobe or anything like that normally, but that situation, it's something about sitting in water, like I don't know, it just really grosses me out.
I think the reason why band aids are there is because they fall off in the water. That's why they're there, and popped into the waves. Yeah, to be clear, these are not band aids that are still in their packaging. There's yeah, so they slid off a tower a finger, but a wound though, no you don't. But they get pushed to the shallow end because of the waves and I'm in the deep end. And also there's so much chlorine. It's like I went there during COVID. I thought it was safer to go to the wavepool than it was to go to the grocery store, and I never I didn't get CA, you're outside, so yeah, swimming in the bleach.
Maybe you're onto something. Maybe that was what saved you. Because I've had COVID a lot of times.
Well I ended up having it, but never during the summer.
I'm about to rock your world with this transition. So so anyway, so anyway, But what I was going to say is the only time I feel like I can't get in touch with Chip during the summer is if he is at Wave Country. And so if Chip is not responding to my text, I immediately know where he is. Like that is the one place that Chip does not get back to you on a text.
Now I can't have my phone in the water.
Was that not good?
That's good?
So today I know blind sided? Do So today I really wanted to discuss not returning text and Chip and I have kind of been going back and forth about just all the reasons that this might happen. And it's so interesting when you really think about our culture. Texting is the number one form of communication at this point. I feel in twenty twenty four, I personally feel like I get more texts than phone calls even more than like emails. Like I told you before this, I get booked on jobs via text a lot of times now, like people my availability via text. I mean it's not all the time, but I would say that it's become our number one format for texting. And because of that and communicating sorry yeah, And because of that, it almost feels like we're to the place now where maybe we need to talk about a little bit of etiquette here and like what's appropriate, what is fair? Maybe what are we missing and how are we going wrong with it? And so I brought it to go ahead.
And I was just going to say, and how do we put the lid back on Pandora's box? You know, Like I feel like it's because it's just going to keep getting worse, Like I think that email is going to become a thing of the past.
Well it's kind of interesting because I like, I don't yeah, I don't know that it can or will or whatever that'll look like, but I do. I did find myself this week, like I said, I've been really busy and kind of like running back to back to back to back to back, and I'll get to the end of the day and realize I have not opened my email, and then it's like you open your email, there's a whole other world, and there's a whole nother world.
You're like, oh wow. Well, it's like we now live in a world where like a twenty five megabyte photo is too big to send an email, but you can text it and it comes through clearly. So I think that, like it's weird. So I think that we're going to start to see less email. I mean, I feel like I'm it's I end up texting a lot more for work stuff than email, and email is like a second class citizen to me right now, and which is scary because I prefer it and for work.
Of course, because you know why, it's the lack of urgency. There's like a little more people don't know when you read it. They don't know that it's like right there in your like if you have to consciously go check an email where a text is just flying into your phone. And that was the main thing that you brought up about this whole situation, like where we are now with our culture with so much texting is being constantly on call kind of so do you want to talk a little bit about that?
Yeah, Well, I mean, first of all, I would like to do a little bit of a breakdown because there are so many different relationships that we have that we communicate, right, So we have work relationships, we have family relationships, we have romantic relationships, and we have friendships. And the way that I communicate or the expectations that I have in those communications are different in all four of those categories. And you know, like I do believe and even though I don't practice it, I think that work life balance is really important and it should be something that should be respected on both sides. I tend to work in a business that does not sleep, you know, so it's yeah, it's really difficult to have that work life balance. And now when texting is part of the conversation, it is really hard to turn it off, you know. Like I know that there are some companies out there that assistance I think at WME or maybe at CAA. These are two big agencies. One of them they're not allowed to take their computers home and they don't have email on their phone, so when they the office there, they can't.
Work, which is a nice looking, fucking.
Brilliant you know, Like and I went, you know, I worked as late as my boss did, so I couldn't leave until she left. And my first job as an assistant, and so it trained me to just constantly because she and she was single and had no kids, so she worked really hard and you know, work was her life. And so I started my career with no work life balance. So I've never been able to really get it back. Yeah, until I moved to Nashville, and we got a little bit better because in New York and LA, people tend to marry and have kids older, where if people start families younger in the South, and so there is a little bit more of respect for the family life. So that's been a nice little introduction. Anyway, I'm digressing, but I you know, so for work stuff, I prefer it to be email, so that there is a paper thread and it's like you can kind of see back and forth and you can pull people in if you need certain things answered, and it's a big conversation happening together. And it's not just all these side texts that are hard to search and hard, hard to save and hard to reference. But I feel like now everything, everyone treats everything with such urgency that it's a text. And I'm like I often like, I'm the same as you. At the end of the day, I look at my email and I'm like, oh, now I've got to deal with this shit.
Well, so that's work. But what were you gonna mention about. What's your variation between work relationship?
You know, obviously it's when you're in a relationship like that person has expectations that they're supposed to feel like the most important person in your life. Yeah, so and you know, also you probably should. They should feel like the most important person in your life. So it's you want to constantly be chatting with them. So it's like that, I prefer to be over text because then it's like in constant communication. In fact, in my last relationship, it was months before I had his email address. It was all just text and phone calls, Like I didn't have any reason.
You really don't need it unless you're like booking a flight.
Booking a flight. Then you know my mom, it's she doesn't text, so I have to call her. And I prefer to talk to my family on the phone because there it's a different kind of conversation unless it's just me and my sister like bullshitting about stuff. So it and then I guess friends is sort of all over the place, Like it's usually like group text with friends, just like making plans and stuff. It's it's very rare. I do have a couple of friends that like to have really long text conversations and then I'm just like, can we just fucking talk for a minute. Yeah, this is driving me crazy. Yeah, although it is really convenient to like text and watch TV at the same time, you can kind of do that.
That's why I do it, is because I can be doing other things, but I'm with you certain things do you just need to make the call. So what you're saying or what I'm hearing you say, is you're text to not text ratio or how you communicate with people? What is different based on what kind of relationship that you have.
Yes, yeah, I I yes, I think there is a strata there and they.
Can't use words that the rest of us. Now.
Well, it's just like there's the rest of it now, I want to say delineation, Like you just think all those relationships are treated a little differently, Like for example, within work, if if you need something from your boss, yeah, and your boss is a texter and your boss isn't responding to your text. Yeah, it can be really stressful, but it's also really irresponsible to be like, well, I texted my boss and you know, and just move on and like don't get something done in time or whatever, or you run the risk of being forced to make a decision that might be counter to what your boss would have had you do. Sure, but if your boss isn't responding, like what is your recourse? So, I mean, I do think it's you have to like learn people and learn their expectations. Like for me, if I think I've gotten to the point now where if something is really urgent a phone call, like if someone calls me, that means something's important because that's like you cannot they need the answer now. But text feels like it's just one step short of that too, whereas emails like get to it when you get to it, and then if you fucking mail me something, you're lucky if I ever open it.
Carry your pigeon, God, what that was really difficult for me.
If you've had a pigeon carrier.
I was watching this show The Gentleman on Netflix the other day. It's so good. By the way, if you guys need a New Bin Show and in one of the scenes the guy prefers carrier pigeons, and I was dying, I'm just like, oh my god, that is an actual thing. He can send notes that way. I had no idea, But so that's interesting. So the point you're making is it's varied between relationships. And I I was saying to you when I first even brought this topic up. One of my big like pet peeves is when people don't respond, and I know a lot of it is, like I have, I feel like it's almost disrespectful for me when someone texts me to not respond. So like, if I'm not responding to you, there's usually a reason. Either I'm super busy or there's always a reason I'm super busy and I have not been able to get to my phone. But like, even when I'm really busy, I'm pretty good about it, and I'm pretty good about it pretty quickly. Or i'm driving obviously, or I've already told you the answer. I've told I've set the boundary, whatever you want to like, whatever the situation was, and I'm not going to fucking say it again. That's like, so it's an intentional note.
So it isn't that is like not responding at that point? Is your answer?
Is my response?
Yes? Right?
But there are people in my life who don't operate that way, and I don't feel obligated to respond to all their texts if they were just like, I'm just in a place where I don't have the energy or whatever, and I just have like a guilty conscience, like because to me, I'm like, that's just communicating to that person that they're not important to me. And I never want to make anyone feel that way. But I just don't think everyone feels that way. So what is the etiquette there?
Like?
What is the reality?
I honestly, I don't know what it is because I also think that you know, and people do put this word around boundaries are important and we cannot make assumptions about why someone's not responding to us every it's because it's not the same reason every time I saw this. It was funny because Kelly brought up this topic the other day and then I a friend of mine posts like shared this on his story and I took a screenshot of it. I don't know what the screenshot's from, but it's like someone poses like a question and then and then someone just answers it. It looks like it might have been on Reddit or something, but it's people who don't who don't reply until days later. It's a relatively very new phenomenon that basically anyone in your life gets access to you all the time. It was only twenty years ago that if you left the house for the day you were actually gone, you'd return messages when you got back hours or even days later, and someone responded, the phone is there for my convenience. It is not an electronic leash. If it's not convenient for me to talk to you for any reason. And this applies to texting to including I'm just not feeling social right now. I'm not obligated to answer. This is not rude. This is a normal personal boundary. And that just made me think, like, that's so right. But I too, like harbor guilt when I don't respond. And the worst is when I know I haven't responded and then I run into somebody and I was like, oh my god, I go hi, Oh my god, I bet to take you back. Did that not go through? Oh my god.
So many relationships where I talk to certain friends so regularly that if I don't respond because I'm such a normal responder. They're like are you okay? Like literally and so like what you just said is interesting to me because I hear what that person is saying, and I don't really know that. I understand why you can't just say, hey, I'm trying to be off my phone or something like if it's a person that's important to you for sure specifically, or a person you talk to regularly. I don't think that it's too much to ask to send a text that says, hey, I just need to be off my phone today or hey, I'm busy right to I find this to be the biggest issue with like our culture is we don't know how to fucking communicate. Yet we have so much access to all the communication possible, like you're saying, like we're so easily reached at all times now because we have text, email, Instagram, like there's all these things whatever that you can find people and see where they are and all this stuff. Yet basic communication skills like simply saying one sentence to explain something to someone else or just to kind of be like, hey, I'll get I'll get to this in a mid or whatever, is not that difficult, Yet it seems so complex for so many people to me, and to me when I look at it, because I know so much about the like anxious avoidant dynamic, it just creates this perpetual cycle of fucking with everyone's head. And anyway, like I don't I think it's like a person's responsibility to take care of their own needs. If you're not getting a response and like you're spiraling out, like that's on you. You got to go like figure out what's happening. But I also just think I'm like, would it be so difficult, especially for a romantic relationship, but even a friendship, like just send the fucking text or like when you do get back to it, you know, sorry, super bit, I've been super busy or whatever whatever it is. I just think, like communication is not that difficult, and so why is it so fucking difficult?
Yeah, you know, it's funny. As you were talking, I started thinking about like sometimes I'll send friends like a funny song or a video or a meme or whatever, and of course it's always nice to get some sort of like haha or a response. But you know, I've got friends that don't, but I know that they're watching them and they just know it's me like thinking of them back in you know, like when I was in high school. Like if I was if I thought of you, I might like send you a postcard and I didn't expect a postcard in return.
None of my face message is what we do?
Oh my god. We didn't have compute or aim remember aim? Oh my god, am that was nice even.
Gearing up for this one ever? Oh wow? Well writ a couple of years old, I found this article on Wiki how and it said it was like talking about text anxiety. Like a lot of people have text anxiety. So if you're not if someone's not respond to your text, like I said earlier, it might trigger certain people. But they said, don't worry. They may just be taking time to process your text. Okay, this is the most basic, like no shit Sherlock article ever, but I'm going to I'm giving us some points. Anyway, they're just processing what you said, which is they might be, you know, taking their time to understand and reply like okay, cool, they're experiencing text anxiety. For some people, texting can cause a flood of anxious feelings. I've actually experienced this with other people where if they have a lot going on or don't know what to say. They just don't say anything. But I'm like, then say I don't know what to say again, is it's like back to my communication issues. They're experiencing digital burnout. That is real, and I totally support taking like a step back from your phone. They're struggling with their mental health, they have condition a condition that impacts focus like ADHD. They're avoiding conflict, they're giving you the silent treatment, they're ghosting you, They're genuinely busy.
I was gonna say, like, please tell me they are busy? Is on this list?
It is? And that is a valid excuse, I believe. However, did you hear so many of the other ones are completely just about not knowing how to process feelings, deal with emotions, and communicate properly. So again, it becomes a relationship issue if you really think about it.
Yeah. Yeah, I think the thing that makes it like why we're even having this conversation is because text is I mean, it is a new form of communication. Like yeah, I mean it's not that new, but it is. Yeah that it's like this, Yeah, it's like everyone text now except for my mom and my dad text and he's older than her. But I can remember when I was at my first job in New York City. It's when texting. I was a very adopted a texting but it was even like cell phones. It was like knew that cell phones were widely available and everything had them, and I remember thinking like it was a privilege to have someone's cell phone number, like all the executives at our company, like it was not in their signature. It was like their assistance email or phone number, maybe their direct work line and their email, and that was how you had to communicate with these people because the cell phone was sacred. It was like, you know, the bat phone to them, and you weren't just running And even on business cards people, we never put our cell phones on business cards.
It was just like emergency only are you're really close to.
And it meant it was really meant to be a worked thing, Like it wasn't meant so that you could like chat with your friends all day, right, and now it's become like it is our lifeline to the world, like we do everything with our phones. You know, in some countries they only use Apple pay and Samsungay or Google Pay or whatever. Like people don't even carry wallets anymore.
You know, remember when the text you had to do the numbers and it was like he'd hit three, he had hit one like three times to get to see or something.
Yeah, Nokia. But then it was like predictive text started coming and I'm like, shit, I'm really on my phone.
Yeah, but what you said earlier, you were like, we've come so far yet is it the right thing? And so I brought up the younger generations because I've been experiencing frustration with texting with younger generations.
Yep. Well, well I didn't know if I was getting ready to interrupt you if you were I, you know, not to defend them, but also to defend them. Like every fucking day someone myself included, thinks or says out loud, I hate my fucking phone. I wish i could delete it all and throw this thing away, or I'm moving to a flip phone or whatever. And maybe they're actually wising up and not and this is like their reaction to that, and they're taking their lives back. Maybe it's actually a good thing. We have just become accustomed to that expectation. You know. Look, I think it is never good to be a poor communicator. Okay, you know, like you like, taking your life back. Is not like I get to be a poor communicator because I'm taking my life back. You can say I'll follow up in the morning, like I'm I don't work at night, you know, or whatever. It is, Like there is a way to communicate. I'm not texting you right now, it's even.
If it's after Yeah, that there's like stances that makes sense to me. But let me give an example. Okay, So okay, first of all, just in general the younger generations. It's interesting to me because as much as our culture seems built on urgency and accessibility, there is a lack of urgency in the younger generations.
That's true.
And I'm not I'm not saying this. I don't know, like I don't think that we've necessarily created that healthiest culture. I agree with that as well. And so you're right, there are some things that are ingrained in me because like what you said earlier about your earlier work experience, that's how I've been taught to work too, And that's how you kind of have to work in our business if you want it, Like it's one of those jobs. It's like if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. So who's going to work the hardest and like keep you know, the hustle going and whatever, And that's usually who succeeds. And so I think I'm shocked sometimes, like when I have people working for me, or in this specific instance, I was trying to hire someone to film something for me, and a lot of the video people that I know are on the road on the weekends and it's on a Friday, so there, you know, they were already outtown. So I'm getting references from people and just all the things. And I was told to message this one kid because I was like, is there anyone like younger that's just trying to get started, because like what I need is pretty straightforward and basic. And so I was asking around on set one day and I got this guy's he's like probably early twenties, and so I texted him, and like it was the middle of a work day. I didn't feel the need to call him, like because that's how I've learned to communicate or whatever. But I didn't hear back from him. So I text the guy who gave me the referral and he was like, oh, he does travels. It was like a Tuesday, though he does travels sometimes work. Let me text him and check in, and he like texts the guy and the guy writes him back and says, yeah, I'm he was doing something, but I don't really know what. They didn't tell me, but it didn't get the sense that he was like traveling or whatever. He responds to me the next day, and I was so turned off because it was a work Like it wasn't like I'm just texting you whatever, but like I was texting about a work opportunity, and also like I can't move forward or right. It kept me having to like go through are you gonna be able to do this? Like I have to cover my ass and find someone so like and I just don't understand it because when I was starting my career, I mean I was like working for free. I was like, get me on set, I'll be wherever I If someone texts me about a job, I'm responding right away, Like if you have a job opportunity for me, I am there in too many. Like it's like I don't understand not having that, Like it's so weird. But this is not my first experience with this. That's what I'm saying. So then when it came back in the next day and was very nonchalant, like I still needed somebody actually at that point, but I like went out of my way to find someone else who responded in a timely manner and had a little more urgency. But anyway, I guess my point is just like I hear what you're saying, and maybe they are taking their life back ish, but I'm also like, where's the line between like taking care of responsibility, working hard, building something, especially if you're an entrepreneur, and learning how to fucking communicate in business Because if you can't fucking respond to a text of mine, I'm not hiring you.
Well, that's the thing, especially when it's like because this example is like you are offering someone a job.
You tried to charge me a lot, and I was like, okay, bye, bitch bye.
Yeah You're like, no, we good, Yeah, we good.
That was just on the cake.
But yeah, you're like, yeah, it was really about.
The communication, because I'm just like, if you're not a met to me, what that said was you're not reliable. I don't I don't want to have to be waiting on you to be there on time, because I don't trust you now. And I also I'm like, what if you got flaky the day of, Like it just produced a lot of different feelings than me that I didn't know that about that person, and I still don't know that to be true about that person. But because of the lack of urgency or or just communicating, hey, I'm on set. Can I text you about this tomorrow for details? Right, I would have been like, sure.
Great, and that is that's clear communication?
Yeah, thank you. Yes. All I'm asking for averagehip is clear communication, you know, because with men.
Jobs it all comes down to that.
And if you can't do basic communication, you're telling me so much about you, that's it.
Anyway, it might it might be that you're just an anxious person, and that's fine because you don't want an anxious person.
And why did you also aspire this right now?
No, I'm not saying I'm saying you might. The non response might just be that you're an anxious person and you're like, I can't deal with two things at once. I'm not saying you're the anxious person.
Oh, I thought you were calling me saying a.
Non response might be because someone's anxious about it. And then you're like, I don't want to work with that person any like if they're too high strung.
Like yeah, it's interesting because women are so good at doing multiple things at a time, and I think men are a little more laser focused on the one thing they're doing. And so I feel like this creates a really weird dynamic, especially with texting, because I hear so many girls being like, well, they're like, well, he's at work, but like, so what, I'm still like they're texting all day every day, you know, and they're just so frustrated, and I'm like, Okay, well he is at work, like there are boundaries, but I hear what they're saying too, of like he could say, hey, babe, like I'm at work, and when I'm at work, like I can't respond right away all the time or whatever.
It is like or double click of heart.
Yeah it ain't that hard.
I'm alive, but my job is stressful, right, Yeah.
I think that's all so basically all that I'm asking for here from this conversation to anyone listening who's feeling me at all, or maybe feels the opposite, it's like all that I think. I think that this problem could be resolved, and I don't think texting is going anywhere, so I think that we have to kind of consider how to resolve these things. But I just think it's like, think about what actually the person is asking of you, Like I do think a lot of people get anxious and overwhelmed and then they shut down because they're like I didn't know what to say, And it's like, are they asking you to solve the problem though? Are they just asking like a question And if you don't know what to say, you could say, hey, I don't really know what to say to that, or let me think about this. Can I get back to you? Buy five point thirty on Friday or something? You know, give a time, give us specific But it's just like we have to learn better basic communications because our culture is not slowing down with the mass communication. Like it's almost like we've built the technology, but our brains and our like emotional intelligence has not grown yet, right match it.
I also think too, we need to put a little onus on the first person who reaches out to Like if something is urgent, you should say that. You should say urgent all caps, or like hey, sorry to bother you sorry to bother you at night, but I need to get this done, or hey, I'm sorry, I'm just like reaching out out of the blue like I'm in a pickle or whatever it is, so that it says like I need a response, like you can't sit around on this, or like I know you're at work, I'm dying to know this, or yeah, whatever it is. You can't just be like, hey, do you want to get dinner tonight and expect someone to think that like you urgently need that answer.
But you know what's worse is because texting you can't hear tones. The person could be like crying, they're having a terrible day, and they're like, hey, you want to get dinner tonight, and then you don't respond and you're but so it's like, okay, so.
Now I know you really feel you.
Yeah, and then you just internalize it. You never you think they hate you whatever it is, and it's like, okay, Well, if you had started the text of saying, hey, I'm having a really hard day, is there a chance that you're available for dinner? I could really use a friend or something. But it's like we also are so many humans don't want to actually communicate the truth about what they're feeling or they're not aware of what they're feeling. So it's like again goes back to Okay, get in touch with what's actually happening for you and then just be honest. Like people respond so much better to that than I think you would think they do. Like, Yes, that has been something I've learned in the last three years and it's genuinely changed my entire life to just shoot people straight kindly, but like just be straight up, like, Hey, I'm super overwhelmed right now, Like this is big for me in dating. It's just like I'm super overwhelmed right now. I am really interested in meeting you. This is just not a good time for me or something like it's just like I'm not trying to blow you up. Just say the fucking truth. It doesn't have to be so complex and difficult, right, you know.
I I'm so like averse to I don't I'm not I don't like conflicts, so I try to yes this, and so it's when I have to give even if it's like I'm not even it's not a fight, like if I have to give someone a bad bad news or I'm like, you know, just saying no, like I have. I hate it, but there is nothing better. There's no better feeling than when you just fucking rip the band. They'd often do it because you're just it frees you of the anxiety of having to do it.
By the build up of doing it, putting it off, it has to be so much worse. I don't relate to that, so it's hard. But I just I know the times where I've had the anticipation of stuff is really the thing that's making me crazy versus the actual experience or whatever, conversation or whatever. Yeah, so like the build up. But then oh I had a thought and I lost it. It was going to be so epic, y'all, like so epic and so good. I don't know. It was about the avoiding conflict. Oh, what I was going to say is I also in one of my relationships recently that was like a big thing. And he didn't he didn't feel good about conflict ever, very much like you like just a kind soul, but like would try to avoid conflict, and so that created probab in our relationship though, because I'm like, if you just communicate with me, like I'm not gonna fight with you. Were good, Yeah, don't communicate with me, and I have to guess that is when I get pissed off, and that is what that produces conflict, because I'm just like making up all these stories in my head about what's happening by your behavior, and if you just told me what was happening, it wouldn't really be an issue, you know, And so I just think it creates actually more problems to not communicate. And if people are responding poorly to your honest truth, especially if you say it in a kind way, do you really want those relationships in your life anyway?
Right? Yeah, the people who are good and will respect you, right. I guess it's where it gets gray. Is like when it's family or your boss or you know, a work thing. It's someone that you're like doing business with that you don't even really know. That's when it really gets harry. It's like when you're dealing with someone like I don't know this fucking person, you know, Like, yeah, so you don't even know what to expect. But totally, I mean, I think it all boils down to like we should all just sort of respect each other. We should respect each other's privacy, we should expect each other's work life balance. We should respect each other's time, and we should respectfully respond to people in whatever way is the most respectful way.
Like well it's also but maybe want to say, like respect the way that our cold. Like I don't know that this is changing, you know, I mean, do you take care of you? But like there have been that's like basically saying like I wish the internet would go away, and maybe it all will, I don't know, but as of right now, it doesn't seem like that. So leaning in a little more to maybe having I don't know, kinder etiquette. I feel like we're like we're like the texting police today.
If we're like old people now or like I feel that you guys, you have to respond.
It's rude.
You know what the rudest thing is is to start responding. I mean this is for only Apple users, Like you start respawning so the person you see the bubbles and then you stop.
Nothing will make me crazier. I literally all your bubbles.
You know what's fucked up is I have a gift of that. So I can send someone that gift and it just looks like I'm typing and so I'm gonna send it to you. Right now, so you have a.
Great buck with my head. Anyway, I'm curious what you guys think about this. Are you a person who feels obligated to text at all times? Are we missing the mark here by being so available all the time. Do you think it'll change in our culture? Or are you the person who's like, bitch, I'm not available all the time, and I have boundaries around it, and I have some things to say to what you said. You can email us at the edge at velvetedge dot com or I would love to hear this via voicemail. You can check out the voicemail on my Instagram page and the link in bio. Also, oh sorry, I'm at Velvet's Edge. Chip also put it in his bio and one day we're going to get him to start posting about the podcast too.
I'm so bad at promoting myself, but you can follow me and not see any post because I rarely post. At Chip doors it's Chip d R s c H.
You sold yourself and then you took it back because you were like, you can follow me, except I never posed. You can't do it. Story.
I post stories more than in feed.
Okay, Well, as you guys, go into the weekend and Chip works on promoting himself. I hope that you are living on the edge.
And well, fuck you don't act casual when Kelly texts you.
If I text you, you better not be acting fucking casual. Okay, So I'm just kidding you. Guys can act as casual as you want because it's the weekend, all right. As you guys go into the weekend and you're living on the edge, I hope you always remember too act casual. Bye Bye,