Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's the Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson.

Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's the Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson.

Shawna Van Bogart is here with us today. She is a self leadership expert with an intuition edge, which intuitive edge, which I love. I loved tying them both together and I wanted to tell the listeners just a full disclosure about what happened yesterday because they know me and they will appreciate this because I think it will give them insight into the work that you do. But Shauna and I were supposed to record yesterday and I was just having one of those impath days, like I have been going through a little bit of a release of some sort. And for all my highly sensitive people who listen to this podcast, you know that sometimes when you're in it, it just like takes you out. And thankfully Shauna was a person that I've felt comfortable enough, not even knowing, but knowing what you do and kind of how you're wired based on your website, I just thought you might understand, So tell me what happened when I reached out to you where you you were like, I get a girl, I could totally get this.

Shawna Van Bogart is here with us today. She is a self leadership expert with an intuition edge, which intuitive edge, which I love. I loved tying them both together and I wanted to tell the listeners just a full disclosure about what happened yesterday because they know me and they will appreciate this because I think it will give them insight into the work that you do. But Shauna and I were supposed to record yesterday and I was just having one of those impath days, like I have been going through a little bit of a release of some sort. And for all my highly sensitive people who listen to this podcast, you know that sometimes when you're in it, it just like takes you out. And thankfully Shauna was a person that I've felt comfortable enough, not even knowing, but knowing what you do and kind of how you're wired based on your website, I just thought you might understand, So tell me what happened when I reached out to you where you you were like, I get a girl, I could totally get this.

I was I knew exactly where you were at. We had already done photo reads, so honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a little bit tied together. Really, yeah, because a lot of times when I do those reads for women later, like two weeks later, they're like, I don't know what happened, but I've been so emotional, and I'm like, well, you're probably releasing. I just think the power of being seen, Oh yeah, levels that like other people don't typically see that inner world is really powerful.

I was I knew exactly where you were at. We had already done photo reads, so honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a little bit tied together. Really, yeah, because a lot of times when I do those reads for women later, like two weeks later, they're like, I don't know what happened, but I've been so emotional, and I'm like, well, you're probably releasing. I just think the power of being seen, Oh yeah, levels that like other people don't typically see that inner world is really powerful.

Well, as you said that, my eyes started twitching, So I think that you might be right. I've been having this weird eye twitch, which I learned in somatic therapy is typically when emotions are ready to come out and they're not.

Well, as you said that, my eyes started twitching, So I think that you might be right. I've been having this weird eye twitch, which I learned in somatic therapy is typically when emotions are ready to come out and they're not.

Quite releasing fully.

Quite releasing fully.

So yeah, something you must be saying to me is definitely resonating with my soul for sure.

So yeah, something you must be saying to me is definitely resonating with my soul for sure.

Well, we can't hide from it anymore if we get called out on something or we're yeah, like called out in a good way, in a bad way, not bad or whatever, you know, And so once something comes to the surface, we kind of have to deal with it and then things can unfold.

Well, we can't hide from it anymore if we get called out on something or we're yeah, like called out in a good way, in a bad way, not bad or whatever, you know, And so once something comes to the surface, we kind of have to deal with it and then things can unfold.

Yeah, and we're going to talk about the photoat in a second, because I told you before the podcast I find this skill set of yours so fascinating. But first, just will you tell the listeners what is a self leadership expert?

Yeah, and we're going to talk about the photoat in a second, because I told you before the podcast I find this skill set of yours so fascinating. But first, just will you tell the listeners what is a self leadership expert?

Yeah? So, I have been in the field of working with people for over fifteen years and this is a term that exists. I did not make it up, but it is the best term that I have found presently to capture what I do, and that's really to help people have the best relationship they can have with themselves, because I believe that to be kind of the core facet of performance. And so I work with women that are high performers, high achievers in various different careers, usually CEOs, some form of leader, and they very much understand in value in inside out approach to getting results in their life. So I'm kind of the person who gets their inside world fine tuned for those next levels.

Yeah? So, I have been in the field of working with people for over fifteen years and this is a term that exists. I did not make it up, but it is the best term that I have found presently to capture what I do, and that's really to help people have the best relationship they can have with themselves, because I believe that to be kind of the core facet of performance. And so I work with women that are high performers, high achievers in various different careers, usually CEOs, some form of leader, and they very much understand in value in inside out approach to getting results in their life. So I'm kind of the person who gets their inside world fine tuned for those next levels.

What do you mean an inside out approach.

What do you mean an inside out approach.

Crafting and honing your inner world, your attitudes, your beliefs, your energy systems, you know, operating from your intuition and kind of like the more masculine energies which are drive and determination, anything having to do with limiting beliefs, healing anything that happens on the inside, because we know that our you know, subconscious system is driving most of our decision making and our actions. And we pride the mind and the power power of thinking, but the reality is we have this really sophisticated subconscious system that really tries to protect us, and unfortunately, protecting us oftentimes means stifling, minimizing, not allowing ourselves to be in our desire, chasing our goals. So I'm really working with women on this mind but also the mind below the neck, which is all of it that happens on the inside.

Crafting and honing your inner world, your attitudes, your beliefs, your energy systems, you know, operating from your intuition and kind of like the more masculine energies which are drive and determination, anything having to do with limiting beliefs, healing anything that happens on the inside, because we know that our you know, subconscious system is driving most of our decision making and our actions. And we pride the mind and the power power of thinking, but the reality is we have this really sophisticated subconscious system that really tries to protect us, and unfortunately, protecting us oftentimes means stifling, minimizing, not allowing ourselves to be in our desire, chasing our goals. So I'm really working with women on this mind but also the mind below the neck, which is all of it that happens on the inside.

Yeah, I'll also get into that a little bit because then we're going to talk a little bit about feminine energy. But what I want to know about what happened in your life because you mentioned to me that you used to do image consulting, similar to some of the stuff that I do. So what was it when you were working in that world that kind of led you into this knowing that people needed to reconnect with themselves.

Yeah, I'll also get into that a little bit because then we're going to talk a little bit about feminine energy. But what I want to know about what happened in your life because you mentioned to me that you used to do image consulting, similar to some of the stuff that I do. So what was it when you were working in that world that kind of led you into this knowing that people needed to reconnect with themselves.

Well, I loved knowing and seeing how we could use these built in tools to get things, Like from a really young age, I was always observing how you know, if you wore this, you know, you'd be more attractive or if you had this body language or this communication style, So that interest was always innate. And then when I discovered image consulting as a career, I was very I was like twenty one twenty two. I was like, this is amazing, and this is the perfect place for my skill sets. And I kept bumping up against the dynamic of humans, which is, okay, we can do everything to change the exterior. But I found categories of people, one where my clients would take the external results and they would stick, and then the other group of people where we could change everything, but they still looked in the mirror and they couldn't integrate, and it would just break my heart because they couldn't see what I saw, which was like, it's not about you know, the trendy close. It was that we just spent all this investment perfecting a look, in a style and an image that was for you uniquely, and they just couldn't step into it. And so for me, I just couldn't explore, like, what is that about what's going on underneath there that would make a woman be able to shift into a version of herself that she feels lit up when she sees herself in the mirror and then this other category. So that just kind of like took me deeper, like quite literally down to the subconscious system where I did hypnotherapy certifications and all of that and brought me here. So it just was a curiosity of like what is underneath all of that?

Well, I loved knowing and seeing how we could use these built in tools to get things, Like from a really young age, I was always observing how you know, if you wore this, you know, you'd be more attractive or if you had this body language or this communication style, So that interest was always innate. And then when I discovered image consulting as a career, I was very I was like twenty one twenty two. I was like, this is amazing, and this is the perfect place for my skill sets. And I kept bumping up against the dynamic of humans, which is, okay, we can do everything to change the exterior. But I found categories of people, one where my clients would take the external results and they would stick, and then the other group of people where we could change everything, but they still looked in the mirror and they couldn't integrate, and it would just break my heart because they couldn't see what I saw, which was like, it's not about you know, the trendy close. It was that we just spent all this investment perfecting a look, in a style and an image that was for you uniquely, and they just couldn't step into it. And so for me, I just couldn't explore, like, what is that about what's going on underneath there that would make a woman be able to shift into a version of herself that she feels lit up when she sees herself in the mirror and then this other category. So that just kind of like took me deeper, like quite literally down to the subconscious system where I did hypnotherapy certifications and all of that and brought me here. So it just was a curiosity of like what is underneath all of that?

Yeah, I identify with that so much, so many times because I only work with men now, which is kind of an interesting skill set as well, and so many times people are asking me like, do men really even need that much? And I'm like, no, they need so much you would be so surprised. But what I've realized as I've gotten older and kind of getting more clarity on the exact job that I do, a lot of what I bring is focus more on the internal beauty stuff with them and like the comfort level, helping them see themselves in the way that they feel their best to walk onto these big stages, and so much of it is an inside job. You're so right, Like, obviously we do the outside thing, but you're not going to be able to experience it in its full capacity unless you're dialed in on the inside.

Yeah, I identify with that so much, so many times because I only work with men now, which is kind of an interesting skill set as well, and so many times people are asking me like, do men really even need that much? And I'm like, no, they need so much you would be so surprised. But what I've realized as I've gotten older and kind of getting more clarity on the exact job that I do, a lot of what I bring is focus more on the internal beauty stuff with them and like the comfort level, helping them see themselves in the way that they feel their best to walk onto these big stages, and so much of it is an inside job. You're so right, Like, obviously we do the outside thing, but you're not going to be able to experience it in its full capacity unless you're dialed in on the inside.

Yeah, I mean it's it's I hate to be like it's a vibe, but it is no totally. You can look great, but there's something that emanates off someone when they're really embodied in their confidence. It's not an exterior confidence because they they look great. I mean, this was something that I kind of had to like cross my own bridge. I had a lot of confidence from a young age, but my self esteem, which is different than confidence, was not always where it is now. And so, you know, people were always surprised to find out that I had all this inner turmoil that I had to deal with because I was so confident. And I find like a lot of the women that I work with, these like incredibly high performing, talented women, they have a tremendous amount of confidence, but inside there's not this alignment with that. That's I guess a pure flow of what I kind of feel it and sense it as energy. And so it just kind of makes everything unnecessarily harder for themselves because they can't see how brilliant they are because their inner world is in knots.

Yeah, I mean it's it's I hate to be like it's a vibe, but it is no totally. You can look great, but there's something that emanates off someone when they're really embodied in their confidence. It's not an exterior confidence because they they look great. I mean, this was something that I kind of had to like cross my own bridge. I had a lot of confidence from a young age, but my self esteem, which is different than confidence, was not always where it is now. And so, you know, people were always surprised to find out that I had all this inner turmoil that I had to deal with because I was so confident. And I find like a lot of the women that I work with, these like incredibly high performing, talented women, they have a tremendous amount of confidence, but inside there's not this alignment with that. That's I guess a pure flow of what I kind of feel it and sense it as energy. And so it just kind of makes everything unnecessarily harder for themselves because they can't see how brilliant they are because their inner world is in knots.

Wait, what is the difference between confidence and self esteem? I would have never thought those were separate.

Wait, what is the difference between confidence and self esteem? I would have never thought those were separate.

Yeah, confidence is definitely more of an external thing. You can use tools and resources to step into confidence a lot easier than you can self esteem. Self esteem is definitely an inside game, I would I would, I would say that it's very similar to like self worthiness. There's a lot of confident people walking around that don't feel worthy. So once an exterior game. You can use resources and tools to increase confidence. You can use tactics, you can use you know again, body language, image, all of those things to appear confident, and then self esteem is definitely more on the inside. But how do you feel about yourself afterwards during before you perform?

Yeah, confidence is definitely more of an external thing. You can use tools and resources to step into confidence a lot easier than you can self esteem. Self esteem is definitely an inside game, I would I would, I would say that it's very similar to like self worthiness. There's a lot of confident people walking around that don't feel worthy. So once an exterior game. You can use resources and tools to increase confidence. You can use tactics, you can use you know again, body language, image, all of those things to appear confident, and then self esteem is definitely more on the inside. But how do you feel about yourself afterwards during before you perform?

Oh my god, that just clicked, because that's the thing. Like if you think about during COVID times, a lot of our lives changed completely, and I remember talking to a lot of people saying, I just don't even know who I am right now because you know, our jobs went away or whatever. So I'm assuming the confidence comes from the job, the job title, the thing that we're putting out there. But then when all of it's stripped away, how do you actually feel about yourself?

Oh my god, that just clicked, because that's the thing. Like if you think about during COVID times, a lot of our lives changed completely, and I remember talking to a lot of people saying, I just don't even know who I am right now because you know, our jobs went away or whatever. So I'm assuming the confidence comes from the job, the job title, the thing that we're putting out there. But then when all of it's stripped away, how do you actually feel about yourself?

Yeah? Yeah, I mean, and that's that's the identity crisis that I bump up against with women, they have been valued for their work, Yeah, they feel the most confident in their work, and then they associate that with self esteem. But then when they're not at work, that's where this imbalance is, and it's almost like they don't they're really hard on themselves, and so it drives them to be workaholics because okay, well, let me go to the environment where I do feel valued and I feel like I'm thriving, but they're burned out of course, you know, yeah, but we of course they want to chase the validation.

Yeah? Yeah, I mean, and that's that's the identity crisis that I bump up against with women, they have been valued for their work, Yeah, they feel the most confident in their work, and then they associate that with self esteem. But then when they're not at work, that's where this imbalance is, and it's almost like they don't they're really hard on themselves, and so it drives them to be workaholics because okay, well, let me go to the environment where I do feel valued and I feel like I'm thriving, but they're burned out of course, you know, yeah, but we of course they want to chase the validation.

I mean that is literally the human condition, right totally.

I mean that is literally the human condition, right totally.

And it's not about not savoring and applauding and having that validation externally. I mean, savor it, but you also need to be able to relax when you take the vacation you've earned. You also need to be okay not being at work and feeling like you're still valued and worthwhile and that you deserve your peace and your rest. That's where I find a lot of women, unless they're productive or you know, focused on output or whatever, they have a really hard time just receiving oh yeah, being taken care of. Like it's a really big struggle for women.

And it's not about not savoring and applauding and having that validation externally. I mean, savor it, but you also need to be able to relax when you take the vacation you've earned. You also need to be okay not being at work and feeling like you're still valued and worthwhile and that you deserve your peace and your rest. That's where I find a lot of women, unless they're productive or you know, focused on output or whatever, they have a really hard time just receiving oh yeah, being taken care of. Like it's a really big struggle for women.

I mean, you keep saying women, and I'm like me that it's a really big struggle for me. Everything you're saying I identify with so fully. That has exactly been my story, and I definitely know a lot of my friends we share.

I mean, you keep saying women, and I'm like me that it's a really big struggle for me. Everything you're saying I identify with so fully. That has exactly been my story, and I definitely know a lot of my friends we share.

That as well.

That as well.

And you do you keep chasing the thing, and especially in this day and age, that's just how we're rewarded. So it's so easy to get wrapped up in that, and a lot of times my friends and I try to say to each other, yeah, but you're amazing and loving, like worthy of love because you woke up today just because you're breathing, not because you did X, Y and Z award show or whatever, you know, And it is true. It's like the more success you get, you almost have to keep yourself in check even more with it.

And you do you keep chasing the thing, and especially in this day and age, that's just how we're rewarded. So it's so easy to get wrapped up in that, and a lot of times my friends and I try to say to each other, yeah, but you're amazing and loving, like worthy of love because you woke up today just because you're breathing, not because you did X, Y and Z award show or whatever, you know, And it is true. It's like the more success you get, you almost have to keep yourself in check even more with it.

You do, because it's a little bit of a drug. Yeah, all that like achievement addiction, and you know you're gonna just keep challenging yourself for more and more and more. But the burn is real short. You know, you only get a high off of it, like very briefly. It's law of diminishing returns. And so then it's almost like somewhere along the lines, your motivation and purpose has to shift, I believe, Okay, not just about valuing and priding yourself on what you can achieve. But you know, not to be cliche, but how do you feel on the journey? You know? And then how do you feel when you're not achieving? Because what's the point of achieving if you also can't reap the rewards? Like if you built this beautiful house and you spent all of this time, money, and energy building this house, it's like you did that, and then you're not allowing yourself to walk through the front door and enjoy it. And it's almost like women build these amazing things for themselves and cross these milestones, but then they don't enjoy and reap the rewards of it. They just jump back into the next achievement.

You do, because it's a little bit of a drug. Yeah, all that like achievement addiction, and you know you're gonna just keep challenging yourself for more and more and more. But the burn is real short. You know, you only get a high off of it, like very briefly. It's law of diminishing returns. And so then it's almost like somewhere along the lines, your motivation and purpose has to shift, I believe, Okay, not just about valuing and priding yourself on what you can achieve. But you know, not to be cliche, but how do you feel on the journey? You know? And then how do you feel when you're not achieving? Because what's the point of achieving if you also can't reap the rewards? Like if you built this beautiful house and you spent all of this time, money, and energy building this house, it's like you did that, and then you're not allowing yourself to walk through the front door and enjoy it. And it's almost like women build these amazing things for themselves and cross these milestones, but then they don't enjoy and reap the rewards of it. They just jump back into the next achievement.

Right because there's always a next level, there's always someone doing something more totally.

Right because there's always a next level, there's always someone doing something more totally.

And then at what point does that just become miserable, which it does for a long and they're like, I should be happy, And then they double down on the self judgment because they're like, I have so much, I should be happy. So then they try to force themselves into gratitude when they don't. They haven't been able to allow themselves to really like receive and a lot of that's the work that I do with women is increasing that capacity to receive. It's okay, like, and I don't mean up here we get it theoretically. I mean to these subconscious systems that are very very very much built on productivity and output and laxation is lazy, and I mean it's we just exist in that, especially in the United States.

And then at what point does that just become miserable, which it does for a long and they're like, I should be happy, And then they double down on the self judgment because they're like, I have so much, I should be happy. So then they try to force themselves into gratitude when they don't. They haven't been able to allow themselves to really like receive and a lot of that's the work that I do with women is increasing that capacity to receive. It's okay, like, and I don't mean up here we get it theoretically. I mean to these subconscious systems that are very very very much built on productivity and output and laxation is lazy, and I mean it's we just exist in that, especially in the United States.

Isn't it funny because so many women in my life, especially the ones who are trying to balance the motherhood and the work situation, because I know that is so much complain about no one doing anything. You know, it's the complaint of like, well, I have to do everything anyway. But then the second someone tries to step in and do something, they have a really hard time is what I've noticed, of just accepting it. And then they're still trying to micromanage. And I'm like, yo, you just said you need someone to help you, but we have a really hard time allowing that help to come.

Isn't it funny because so many women in my life, especially the ones who are trying to balance the motherhood and the work situation, because I know that is so much complain about no one doing anything. You know, it's the complaint of like, well, I have to do everything anyway. But then the second someone tries to step in and do something, they have a really hard time is what I've noticed, of just accepting it. And then they're still trying to micromanage. And I'm like, yo, you just said you need someone to help you, but we have a really hard time allowing that help to come.

Yep, that's that's what I'm talking about. These are systems that exist below the neck down in the subconscious system that have been running not just in your lifetime but for generations and as much as we understand and you know, I'm a very independent I have no problem delegating. I mean, I consider myself like I teach this stuff, and I still fall into those tendencies. It's very deeply ingrained in women that we cannot stop, we cannot rest, and if we are to rest, we better make sure that we earned it. We better make sure that we can justify it.

Yep, that's that's what I'm talking about. These are systems that exist below the neck down in the subconscious system that have been running not just in your lifetime but for generations and as much as we understand and you know, I'm a very independent I have no problem delegating. I mean, I consider myself like I teach this stuff, and I still fall into those tendencies. It's very deeply ingrained in women that we cannot stop, we cannot rest, and if we are to rest, we better make sure that we earned it. We better make sure that we can justify it.

God that is Yeah.

God that is Yeah.

I'm just promising it all because I really identify, especially what I just said at the beginning of the podcast. The last couple of days, like I have needed to emotionally release something, yeah, and I have had so much shame about that because it doesn't it's not like you can say to your system, yo, it's a Monday, I don't have to talk for this, Like it would be really nice if we only took rest or needed rest on the weekends, but that's not the way that life works.

I'm just promising it all because I really identify, especially what I just said at the beginning of the podcast. The last couple of days, like I have needed to emotionally release something, yeah, and I have had so much shame about that because it doesn't it's not like you can say to your system, yo, it's a Monday, I don't have to talk for this, Like it would be really nice if we only took rest or needed rest on the weekends, but that's not the way that life works.

And if you're.

And if you're.

Really like listening to your body, sometimes it's it's not on a schedule like that.

Really like listening to your body, sometimes it's it's not on a schedule like that.

It's not convenient.

It's not convenient.

I guess no, it's not. And we do have to work around this confines if we're not going to build a life that allows for that flexibility, which you've kind of built a life where allowed the same with me. I've allowed for that flexibility, but that's that's not the reality for a lot of people. No, you really have to you know, you have to build that time out otherwise, Yeah, you're going to look back someday or if you're if you are right now, you're waking up being like where am I? Who am I? How did I get here?

I guess no, it's not. And we do have to work around this confines if we're not going to build a life that allows for that flexibility, which you've kind of built a life where allowed the same with me. I've allowed for that flexibility, but that's that's not the reality for a lot of people. No, you really have to you know, you have to build that time out otherwise, Yeah, you're going to look back someday or if you're if you are right now, you're waking up being like where am I? Who am I? How did I get here?

Okay? Who am I?

Okay? Who am I?

You just said the perfect transition for me for the next thing I want to talk to you about, because we're talking about self worth and on your website, I love that you say, remember who you are, not yourself? Like, remember who you are? But what's the difference between remembering who you are and finding yourself?

You just said the perfect transition for me for the next thing I want to talk to you about, because we're talking about self worth and on your website, I love that you say, remember who you are, not yourself? Like, remember who you are? But what's the difference between remembering who you are and finding yourself?

So I believe at our core, you know, we come into this life with some nature, of course, but there's a lot of conditioning that's stacked on top of that, and the conditioning of our childhood, even as pleasant as it may have been, kind of sets the context for this worldview. And one of the things that we have to remember, and this comes from doctor gaber Matte speaks a lot on this, but there are two needs as children growing up. We have attachment in authenticity and authenticity for a child is when they feel an instinct like an emotion or a feeling like they want a cookie that's authentic to them in that moment, and if the parent says no or something or you know, takes it to an extreme reaction or something, right, the child will shut down their authenticity to keep and preserve the attachment.

So I believe at our core, you know, we come into this life with some nature, of course, but there's a lot of conditioning that's stacked on top of that, and the conditioning of our childhood, even as pleasant as it may have been, kind of sets the context for this worldview. And one of the things that we have to remember, and this comes from doctor gaber Matte speaks a lot on this, but there are two needs as children growing up. We have attachment in authenticity and authenticity for a child is when they feel an instinct like an emotion or a feeling like they want a cookie that's authentic to them in that moment, and if the parent says no or something or you know, takes it to an extreme reaction or something, right, the child will shut down their authenticity to keep and preserve the attachment.

Okay.

Okay.

And so when you've had a childhood that is full of a lot of dismissal or minimization or trauma or abuse, then a child will continue to sacrifice their authenticity, which is their instinct, their intuition which we'll talk about later, their instincts, their gut urges, and they will do everything they can to preserve attachment. And as a culture in a society like the fear of abandonment is the core fear we all share, yep. And so when I talk about remembering who used to be, it's before all of that conditioning that told you you have to be a certain way, you have to behave a certain way, you have to stifle certain emotions. You can't trust your intuition, and in order to fit in and especially with women and men, because we have both energy systems. But that intuitive piece is so important, and most people have shut that down because it's just not been allowed and it's one of the first things that get sacrificed. So when I talk about coming back to yourself, to me, it's a return to our natural state.

And so when you've had a childhood that is full of a lot of dismissal or minimization or trauma or abuse, then a child will continue to sacrifice their authenticity, which is their instinct, their intuition which we'll talk about later, their instincts, their gut urges, and they will do everything they can to preserve attachment. And as a culture in a society like the fear of abandonment is the core fear we all share, yep. And so when I talk about remembering who used to be, it's before all of that conditioning that told you you have to be a certain way, you have to behave a certain way, you have to stifle certain emotions. You can't trust your intuition, and in order to fit in and especially with women and men, because we have both energy systems. But that intuitive piece is so important, and most people have shut that down because it's just not been allowed and it's one of the first things that get sacrificed. So when I talk about coming back to yourself, to me, it's a return to our natural state.

The way you were before the programming started, before you started self sacrificing.

The way you were before the programming started, before you started self sacrificing.

Yep, okay, yeah.

Yep, okay, yeah.

And a lot of the work that I do with women is we'll go back to these very specific milestone moments where something may have happened. We all have those kind of core memories and it might be again, it doesn't have to be like traumatic. It could just be being made fun of in middle school, but for whatever reason, it hits you. And we shelve parts of ourself when that stuff happens. And so there's the healing process of going back in like healing or trauma, but there's also a reclaiming process where we go back and pick up what I call like these little bits of gold, these pieces of ourselves that were our authentic facets that we say, this isn't a louder, this doesn't help me, let me put it back. So you know, there's healing, but then there's also like we need the past versions of ourselves because they hold our authenticity.

And a lot of the work that I do with women is we'll go back to these very specific milestone moments where something may have happened. We all have those kind of core memories and it might be again, it doesn't have to be like traumatic. It could just be being made fun of in middle school, but for whatever reason, it hits you. And we shelve parts of ourself when that stuff happens. And so there's the healing process of going back in like healing or trauma, but there's also a reclaiming process where we go back and pick up what I call like these little bits of gold, these pieces of ourselves that were our authentic facets that we say, this isn't a louder, this doesn't help me, let me put it back. So you know, there's healing, but then there's also like we need the past versions of ourselves because they hold our authenticity.

Yeah, and I'm assuming once you start learning those kind of things are leaning back into those kind of things, that's going to build the self worth inside as well.

Yeah, and I'm assuming once you start learning those kind of things are leaning back into those kind of things, that's going to build the self worth inside as well.

Okay, yeah, we'll circle.

Okay, yeah, we'll circle.

Okay, Yeah, let's talk a little bit about the work that you do specifically, and so we can get into the intuition stuff. But what we've mentioned a couple of times is that you did a photo read for me.

Okay, Yeah, let's talk a little bit about the work that you do specifically, and so we can get into the intuition stuff. But what we've mentioned a couple of times is that you did a photo read for me.

Yeah, and I was like, what is this?

Yeah, and I was like, what is this?

Literally, she sends me an email almost like send me five pictures of yourself And I was like, do what?

Literally, she sends me an email almost like send me five pictures of yourself And I was like, do what?

Like?

Like?

I mean, it's just interesting, but you said and I need to be able to.

I mean, it's just interesting, but you said and I need to be able to.

See your eyes.

See your eyes.

So okay, first of all, will you describe to the listeners what you do with a photo read? And then second of all, how did you figure out that you can do this?

So okay, first of all, will you describe to the listeners what you do with a photo read? And then second of all, how did you figure out that you can do this?

Yeah, it's really bizarre. So okay, what a photo read is? I ask for five recent photos, like in the past two weeks, and the photos. Actually, you're just a little bit of a connection gateway for me to be able to en mesh I guess with your space, with who you are, and from that I have a keen ability to kind of happen, and since what's going on in your inner world? Now, Sometimes I'll get other information that is about a person in your life or whatever, and I can never predict that that just happens. But mainly it's showing you where you might be hiding from yourself, any blind spots that you have. I can see your potential. I can see wounding. Sometimes I can see which side, you know, did it come from the father, did it come from the mother? Like you know, I'm just very in tune with people's energy and their emotional system and their subconscious system. And it's a combination of all the work and the education that I've done. But I also think I'm just highly intuitive.

Yeah, it's really bizarre. So okay, what a photo read is? I ask for five recent photos, like in the past two weeks, and the photos. Actually, you're just a little bit of a connection gateway for me to be able to en mesh I guess with your space, with who you are, and from that I have a keen ability to kind of happen, and since what's going on in your inner world? Now, Sometimes I'll get other information that is about a person in your life or whatever, and I can never predict that that just happens. But mainly it's showing you where you might be hiding from yourself, any blind spots that you have. I can see your potential. I can see wounding. Sometimes I can see which side, you know, did it come from the father, did it come from the mother? Like you know, I'm just very in tune with people's energy and their emotional system and their subconscious system. And it's a combination of all the work and the education that I've done. But I also think I'm just highly intuitive.

Yeah, and you've obviously tapped into yours.

Yeah, and you've obviously tapped into yours.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So when you're operating in the world, how do you not just walk around and like, can you ever make eye contact with people?

So when you're operating in the world, how do you not just walk around and like, can you ever make eye contact with people?

Oh? Yeah, I really have to. It's a it's almost like a brain wave state that I have to get in. I mean, we by nature are judgmental beings, Thank goodness, because it's a shortcut to live our lives. Otherwise it would be everything would feel hard. So we have to be judgmental. When I do this I quite literally pull the photos up on my screen. I look at them for anywhere between ten to sometimes a minute. That's a really long time for me. Then I turn my camera on and I just speak as you saw it, like, and I just record into the video with your photos up for twenty minutes and send it to you. So I don't do anything before. I just literally tap in and it just flows. And so for me, I have to be in a headspace that is completely non judgmental. I'm really removed from my personal preferences. And that's impossible to do in a day to day basis because I want to be in my experience. I want to be enjoying my life, and like you know, so I really do have to turn it on.

Oh? Yeah, I really have to. It's a it's almost like a brain wave state that I have to get in. I mean, we by nature are judgmental beings, Thank goodness, because it's a shortcut to live our lives. Otherwise it would be everything would feel hard. So we have to be judgmental. When I do this I quite literally pull the photos up on my screen. I look at them for anywhere between ten to sometimes a minute. That's a really long time for me. Then I turn my camera on and I just speak as you saw it, like, and I just record into the video with your photos up for twenty minutes and send it to you. So I don't do anything before. I just literally tap in and it just flows. And so for me, I have to be in a headspace that is completely non judgmental. I'm really removed from my personal preferences. And that's impossible to do in a day to day basis because I want to be in my experience. I want to be enjoying my life, and like you know, so I really do have to turn it on.

Now.

Now.

There are sometimes where yeah, you just to me, it's kind of like I you can see people's hair color, and like there's sort of public domain and energy that comes off of people, like and we do it. I just don't think women are owning it as intuition, but like when you're around someone, they have a feeling to them, like there's a sense about them that's intuition. I've just learned how to go into deeper levels of it. So we all kind of have this essence that comes off of us, and I've just learned how to see it in really nuanced ways.

There are sometimes where yeah, you just to me, it's kind of like I you can see people's hair color, and like there's sort of public domain and energy that comes off of people, like and we do it. I just don't think women are owning it as intuition, but like when you're around someone, they have a feeling to them, like there's a sense about them that's intuition. I've just learned how to go into deeper levels of it. So we all kind of have this essence that comes off of us, and I've just learned how to see it in really nuanced ways.

That makes sense to me because something I'm starting to embrace about myself is a feeling I'll get, like I will be around a person and I won't know why. I know this is going to sound simple to people, but it's so specific when I'm in the moment. It's like they won't even have to say a word, and someone can walk in and I either have a good feeling or a bad feeling, and.

That makes sense to me because something I'm starting to embrace about myself is a feeling I'll get, like I will be around a person and I won't know why. I know this is going to sound simple to people, but it's so specific when I'm in the moment. It's like they won't even have to say a word, and someone can walk in and I either have a good feeling or a bad feeling, and.

It is a very like.

It is a very like.

I can try to talk myself out of it, but my initial feeling is always the thing that ends up being true years later, even like I can try to convince myself to like someone and then it's something will end up blowing up in my life in that relationship, and I go gudy, that first initial thought was always right. But it's a feeling for me. It's like a knowing in my body.

I can try to talk myself out of it, but my initial feeling is always the thing that ends up being true years later, even like I can try to convince myself to like someone and then it's something will end up blowing up in my life in that relationship, and I go gudy, that first initial thought was always right. But it's a feeling for me. It's like a knowing in my body.

Now that's been studied. Actually, so back in image consulting, what intrigued me about image consulting was not so much like the styling and all that. It was the art of first impressions. Oh okay, So really, as an image consultant, you're working a lot with the first impression, and you know, when they've done studies on this, it is true that usually our first gut instinct is the correct one over time, so it usually doesn't change. But most people, I mean, we have that gut reaction. Most people shut that down so fast and then they come back. They it just gets flooded with all this other stimulation that we either miss it or we talk ourselves out of it, and then you know, yeah, we miss red flags perhaps.

Now that's been studied. Actually, so back in image consulting, what intrigued me about image consulting was not so much like the styling and all that. It was the art of first impressions. Oh okay, So really, as an image consultant, you're working a lot with the first impression, and you know, when they've done studies on this, it is true that usually our first gut instinct is the correct one over time, so it usually doesn't change. But most people, I mean, we have that gut reaction. Most people shut that down so fast and then they come back. They it just gets flooded with all this other stimulation that we either miss it or we talk ourselves out of it, and then you know, yeah, we miss red flags perhaps.

But yeah, I mean I'm starting to now say to myself the second I feel like I don't try to make it make sense. I used to try to make it make sense, and it's like, no, I'm not gonna understand it because this is such a deeper sensing thing I'm getting with this person's energy, and so those those things are not going to present themselves to way later down the road, if that person is even still on the life. Now, I'm sort of like, if I get the ick, I'm like out.

But yeah, I mean I'm starting to now say to myself the second I feel like I don't try to make it make sense. I used to try to make it make sense, and it's like, no, I'm not gonna understand it because this is such a deeper sensing thing I'm getting with this person's energy, and so those those things are not going to present themselves to way later down the road, if that person is even still on the life. Now, I'm sort of like, if I get the ick, I'm like out.

Yep, yep. And that's why I like, I have been doing this all my life, I think because I didn't understand it was intuition. I just thought, I'm an incredibly aware of person and this is a first impression thing. I mean, I think it just was very like scientific in my mind.

Yep, yep. And that's why I like, I have been doing this all my life, I think because I didn't understand it was intuition. I just thought, I'm an incredibly aware of person and this is a first impression thing. I mean, I think it just was very like scientific in my mind.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It wasn't like some thing I don't know.

It wasn't like some thing I don't know.

So that makes sense.

So that makes sense.

It just was like, yeah, I just read people. Well. Now, the discernment that comes over time and practice is is it because the person's having a bad moment or is it because there's something about character that is not blending with my system? Right? So, you know, because our first impression can definitely be like we just got pulled over by the cops, We're having a bad day, like whatever, right, and so it could be circumstantial, not an actual character thing, but discerning that just comes from a tremendous amount of practice.

It just was like, yeah, I just read people. Well. Now, the discernment that comes over time and practice is is it because the person's having a bad moment or is it because there's something about character that is not blending with my system? Right? So, you know, because our first impression can definitely be like we just got pulled over by the cops, We're having a bad day, like whatever, right, and so it could be circumstantial, not an actual character thing, but discerning that just comes from a tremendous amount of practice.

Yeah, yeah, I think I have clarity online.

Yeah, yeah, I think I have clarity online.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Another thing you say on your website is be who you need to be so you can do what you came here to.

Another thing you say on your website is be who you need to be so you can do what you came here to.

Do, which I loved.

Do, which I loved.

And I think when we were talking about intuition, it is an easy thing to kind of go, oh, whatever, yeah, or I'm not even that intuitive, you know, and everyone has intuition, is what I'm always trying to say on this podcast and one of the things that you brought up to me yesterday when I asked you, you know, really what you wanted to talk about was to help that you're really your big purpose right now feels like helping women cultivate this inner knowing for themselves and just how that is really tied to reaching our goals and having like peak performance. So why do we need to be who we need to be so we can do what we need to do?

And I think when we were talking about intuition, it is an easy thing to kind of go, oh, whatever, yeah, or I'm not even that intuitive, you know, and everyone has intuition, is what I'm always trying to say on this podcast and one of the things that you brought up to me yesterday when I asked you, you know, really what you wanted to talk about was to help that you're really your big purpose right now feels like helping women cultivate this inner knowing for themselves and just how that is really tied to reaching our goals and having like peak performance. So why do we need to be who we need to be so we can do what we need to do?

First of all, it's easier, and second of all, when we claim, well, there's sort of like the general facets, right, there's for women we need to claim this intuitive piece. But then there's uniquely what is your expression to the world, and that was unique to every single person. And usually we can't get to the second one without the first one because what shuts intuition down is reasoning, structure, facts, data, And as you said earlier, intuition is very nonsensical. It's knowing without knowing, and you have to be okay not making sense of things. You just have to trust and follow it. And some of the best inventors, leaders, innovators in the world, they don't know why, they just feel this is the right move to make, or this was the right thing to create, you know, like and then the context comes after the fact, so you know, and then especially when you get into performance. One of my mentors years ago, when I was in this performance certification, she was talking about fighter pilots in the Air Force and how they ranked really high on intuition and how you would find that really almost counterintuitive. You think they would be high on logic and reasoning and all of that to fly an airplane. And they were like, no, we have to be in tutor. We're moving so fast, we have to be in flow. You have to be able to not only follow those instincts, but but trust them so that you can follow them. So if you want flow, and if you're here to perform and you're here to do big things, at some point you're going to have to own that intuitive piece because it's where creativity lives, it's where ideas live. And you know, you can't follow someone else's template into greatness. You've got to carve your own path.

First of all, it's easier, and second of all, when we claim, well, there's sort of like the general facets, right, there's for women we need to claim this intuitive piece. But then there's uniquely what is your expression to the world, and that was unique to every single person. And usually we can't get to the second one without the first one because what shuts intuition down is reasoning, structure, facts, data, And as you said earlier, intuition is very nonsensical. It's knowing without knowing, and you have to be okay not making sense of things. You just have to trust and follow it. And some of the best inventors, leaders, innovators in the world, they don't know why, they just feel this is the right move to make, or this was the right thing to create, you know, like and then the context comes after the fact, so you know, and then especially when you get into performance. One of my mentors years ago, when I was in this performance certification, she was talking about fighter pilots in the Air Force and how they ranked really high on intuition and how you would find that really almost counterintuitive. You think they would be high on logic and reasoning and all of that to fly an airplane. And they were like, no, we have to be in tutor. We're moving so fast, we have to be in flow. You have to be able to not only follow those instincts, but but trust them so that you can follow them. So if you want flow, and if you're here to perform and you're here to do big things, at some point you're going to have to own that intuitive piece because it's where creativity lives, it's where ideas live. And you know, you can't follow someone else's template into greatness. You've got to carve your own path.

Oo, if I've tried that one, it doesn't work, just doesn't work. Though you really can't. It's like, actually you can't. So do men have the same level of intuition as women?

Oo, if I've tried that one, it doesn't work, just doesn't work. Though you really can't. It's like, actually you can't. So do men have the same level of intuition as women?

They do. They just don't. I would argue it doesn't come as innate to them. Okay, but they do. I think, you know, when we talk about the masculine feminine, it's not gender based. It's more like the energy systems right as humans, we embody both. It's more of a harmonizing you know. It's not like a fifty to fifty that we're looking for. It's more like having the right harmony. And then we all have our unique style on top of that, you know. And so you'll see men with an incredible amount and women with an incredible amount of drive and like, you know, discipline and structure in all of that. And it's not that they're not using their intuition, but if they were to go, you know what, there's something to this intuitive piece that would allow me to perform faster, fly, higher, move quicker, you know, whatever it is, they have the same ability that we do as women to step into that. I don't know if it's as well received as it is in women, because women instinctually are When you think of intuition, usually a woman pops into your mind, not a man. Yeah, so I think men have just counted themselves out. But and by nature of that. You know, it's hard to say, like because they've counted themselves out of the stereotype of what we associate with that word, they haven't cultivated it or are they built in a way where they are at a little bit of a deficit. I don't know the answer to that. But everyone can cultivate it, and everyone has the ability to be intuitive.

They do. They just don't. I would argue it doesn't come as innate to them. Okay, but they do. I think, you know, when we talk about the masculine feminine, it's not gender based. It's more like the energy systems right as humans, we embody both. It's more of a harmonizing you know. It's not like a fifty to fifty that we're looking for. It's more like having the right harmony. And then we all have our unique style on top of that, you know. And so you'll see men with an incredible amount and women with an incredible amount of drive and like, you know, discipline and structure in all of that. And it's not that they're not using their intuition, but if they were to go, you know what, there's something to this intuitive piece that would allow me to perform faster, fly, higher, move quicker, you know, whatever it is, they have the same ability that we do as women to step into that. I don't know if it's as well received as it is in women, because women instinctually are When you think of intuition, usually a woman pops into your mind, not a man. Yeah, so I think men have just counted themselves out. But and by nature of that. You know, it's hard to say, like because they've counted themselves out of the stereotype of what we associate with that word, they haven't cultivated it or are they built in a way where they are at a little bit of a deficit. I don't know the answer to that. But everyone can cultivate it, and everyone has the ability to be intuitive.

Also, wonder if it's like if if it's based on different things, like maybe women can tap into more emotional intuition. Men are more instinctual, like you were talking about in the plane, like more the survivor instinct, the like fight or flight, the protecting from predators.

Also, wonder if it's like if if it's based on different things, like maybe women can tap into more emotional intuition. Men are more instinctual, like you were talking about in the plane, like more the survivor instinct, the like fight or flight, the protecting from predators.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm just thinking through like the difference between the masculine and women in.

I'm just thinking through like the difference between the masculine and women in.

Yeah, for sure. And I think it's also the amount of safety you carry with you in your system to be authentic.

Yeah, for sure. And I think it's also the amount of safety you carry with you in your system to be authentic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Again, if you've had a childhood where you've had to minimize yourself and like you know, feel small, then usually intuition is one of the first things that goes. And so for men or women, if they have any kind of dynamics like that, first you have to repair the self.

Again, if you've had a childhood where you've had to minimize yourself and like you know, feel small, then usually intuition is one of the first things that goes. And so for men or women, if they have any kind of dynamics like that, first you have to repair the self.

Trust God. That is so true.

Trust God. That is so true.

I genuine like I had an experience with a person last week that I'm in a relationship with that he said to me when I reacted to this, which was a really good reaction. When we first were having a certain conversation, he totally chose based on intuition, and it was such a healing emotion, like a beautiful conversation.

I genuine like I had an experience with a person last week that I'm in a relationship with that he said to me when I reacted to this, which was a really good reaction. When we first were having a certain conversation, he totally chose based on intuition, and it was such a healing emotion, like a beautiful conversation.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then a week later we reconnected about that same conversation and he started bringing in the narratives from his childhood, the like structure he thought he should say, trying to figure out the right thing to say, and it was a disaster of a conversation. So it's so interesting that we can just intuitively feel how to be with each other and we end up getting ourselves into trouble, like talking ourselves out of the actual beauty between each other.

And then a week later we reconnected about that same conversation and he started bringing in the narratives from his childhood, the like structure he thought he should say, trying to figure out the right thing to say, and it was a disaster of a conversation. So it's so interesting that we can just intuitively feel how to be with each other and we end up getting ourselves into trouble, like talking ourselves out of the actual beauty between each other.

See that's the self leadership piece right there, is like, Okay, you're getting these hits, like women are getting these men are getting these hits. Yeah, are they following them? And there's so many reasons we interrupt the flow of those and you know, part of it is self trust, but also you know, because it's nonsensical. I'll tell a brief story when I was pregnant with my daughter. I had a dream during second trimester she was going to be breach. And so then when they told me at about thirty four thirty five weeks she's breach, I was like, okay, well expected that and here goes and you know, we were on a path of natural childbirth whatever, and so they encouraged me to go do all these things. So I did all the things to try to get her to turn, and I just was like, I don't think she's going to turn. And they wanted me to do this ECV procedure, which is where the doctor, you like, go in and they prep you as if you may need an emergency C section, but the doctor will manually try to turn the baby. And I've heard it's very painful, like in your stomach. And they were really encouraging me to do that because if they could get her to turn, then I could stay the path. And I was like, listen, I'm a flexible person. I'm not so rigidly holding to this. And I was like, is it And I'm running this through my system right and intuitively, I'm like, she's not going to turn. She's not going to turn, And so I went back and I said, I'm going to stick with just having the sasareian. And I could see the look of disappointment from the midwife and the nurse in the room, and she was not coming down on me, but I could tell that she really wanted me to try it. And in that moment, I'm like, who am I. I'm not an authority, I'm not an and here's this person who knows better. And that happens a lot in our lives. Is like the experts come in and they tell us, you know, and so yeah, we want to trust people, and there is a balance to that. For sure. Self leadership is about having that really fine line of discernment to go, I know you're an expert, and this doesn't take anything away from you being an expert, but I got to trust me here. And so then when we delivered, the doctor was like, oh, I want to have been able to turn her. She had one foot stuck in my pelvis in one foot up doing the splits, and so I was like, it was like the first rite of passage into motherhood, like mother's intuition. I'm like, yeah, we didn't do that, but it was I almost turned back around and went back in there and said, you know what, I'm gonna trust you and go do it. It takes a lot of conviction to stick to that knowing.

See that's the self leadership piece right there, is like, Okay, you're getting these hits, like women are getting these men are getting these hits. Yeah, are they following them? And there's so many reasons we interrupt the flow of those and you know, part of it is self trust, but also you know, because it's nonsensical. I'll tell a brief story when I was pregnant with my daughter. I had a dream during second trimester she was going to be breach. And so then when they told me at about thirty four thirty five weeks she's breach, I was like, okay, well expected that and here goes and you know, we were on a path of natural childbirth whatever, and so they encouraged me to go do all these things. So I did all the things to try to get her to turn, and I just was like, I don't think she's going to turn. And they wanted me to do this ECV procedure, which is where the doctor, you like, go in and they prep you as if you may need an emergency C section, but the doctor will manually try to turn the baby. And I've heard it's very painful, like in your stomach. And they were really encouraging me to do that because if they could get her to turn, then I could stay the path. And I was like, listen, I'm a flexible person. I'm not so rigidly holding to this. And I was like, is it And I'm running this through my system right and intuitively, I'm like, she's not going to turn. She's not going to turn, And so I went back and I said, I'm going to stick with just having the sasareian. And I could see the look of disappointment from the midwife and the nurse in the room, and she was not coming down on me, but I could tell that she really wanted me to try it. And in that moment, I'm like, who am I. I'm not an authority, I'm not an and here's this person who knows better. And that happens a lot in our lives. Is like the experts come in and they tell us, you know, and so yeah, we want to trust people, and there is a balance to that. For sure. Self leadership is about having that really fine line of discernment to go, I know you're an expert, and this doesn't take anything away from you being an expert, but I got to trust me here. And so then when we delivered, the doctor was like, oh, I want to have been able to turn her. She had one foot stuck in my pelvis in one foot up doing the splits, and so I was like, it was like the first rite of passage into motherhood, like mother's intuition. I'm like, yeah, we didn't do that, but it was I almost turned back around and went back in there and said, you know what, I'm gonna trust you and go do it. It takes a lot of conviction to stick to that knowing.

It really does, and you would have just suffered through something painful to note all you want.

It really does, and you would have just suffered through something painful to note all you want.

It either and so traumatic for both of us.

It either and so traumatic for both of us.

Exactly. Yeah, crazy.

Exactly. Yeah, crazy.

So you've talked about high achieving women, which I have always been taught that when we are in our high achieving state and we're really like there are a lot of women who get into like a high business place, start operating from their masculine and so it's like getting back in touch with our women's intuition, our feminine energy and all that stuff. But now we're talking about that both men and women have intuition, So can you kind of navigate that for me? Like, how if we're in a masculine place in our work world, why do we need to go back into the feminine or why are we not able to tap into our intuition if we're in the.

So you've talked about high achieving women, which I have always been taught that when we are in our high achieving state and we're really like there are a lot of women who get into like a high business place, start operating from their masculine and so it's like getting back in touch with our women's intuition, our feminine energy and all that stuff. But now we're talking about that both men and women have intuition, So can you kind of navigate that for me? Like, how if we're in a masculine place in our work world, why do we need to go back into the feminine or why are we not able to tap into our intuition if we're in the.

Masculine I don't know. Am I making sense with that?

Masculine I don't know. Am I making sense with that?

Yeah? I think I'm following you with that, Like why the need to hone both systems?

Yeah? I think I'm following you with that, Like why the need to hone both systems?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Like why so anything taken to its extreme will become its opposite. So if anyone is too extreme in their drive, drive starts to become stubbornness or rigidity, okay, And the way to harmonize that so that you don't fall into the trap of being a workaholic and out and frankly, when you're driving from that place, you're in such a contracted state of sheer will power. There's no creativity flow there, so you're probably not honestly thinking the best for the state of growth for the stakeholders involved in the growth of the company. It's sheer production, and there's a time and a place for sheer production, and then there's a time and a place for growth and creativity. But if you are like driving and disciplined and highly structured in all of this, it leaves very little room for flexibility to pivot and to innovate. And so when we talk about leadership, you really need both sides of the coin otherwise, you know, and then on the other side, if you don't have any drive or I put purpose in the masculine category as well, if you don't have the discipline and you're all just intuition, you're just kind of like going over here and going over here and going over care you know, like then the structure is not there to support the growth. So either way it has to be harmonized correctly, otherwise it's going to become a limitation.

Like why so anything taken to its extreme will become its opposite. So if anyone is too extreme in their drive, drive starts to become stubbornness or rigidity, okay, And the way to harmonize that so that you don't fall into the trap of being a workaholic and out and frankly, when you're driving from that place, you're in such a contracted state of sheer will power. There's no creativity flow there, so you're probably not honestly thinking the best for the state of growth for the stakeholders involved in the growth of the company. It's sheer production, and there's a time and a place for sheer production, and then there's a time and a place for growth and creativity. But if you are like driving and disciplined and highly structured in all of this, it leaves very little room for flexibility to pivot and to innovate. And so when we talk about leadership, you really need both sides of the coin otherwise, you know, and then on the other side, if you don't have any drive or I put purpose in the masculine category as well, if you don't have the discipline and you're all just intuition, you're just kind of like going over here and going over here and going over care you know, like then the structure is not there to support the growth. So either way it has to be harmonized correctly, otherwise it's going to become a limitation.

And so the okay, so it's basically learning how to do the drive, have that balance, but then also take a step back, pat back in really remember who you are, the motivations, the creativity, all of that stuff will start flowing.

And so the okay, so it's basically learning how to do the drive, have that balance, but then also take a step back, pat back in really remember who you are, the motivations, the creativity, all of that stuff will start flowing.

Yeah. I mean, and even I work with a lot of business owners, and so for them, it's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that it has to look like this a steady growth. That's not how it looks.

Yeah. I mean, and even I work with a lot of business owners, and so for them, it's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that it has to look like this a steady growth. That's not how it looks.

It looks like this, yeah, or the cork screw is the one I always do, like up and down and up.

It looks like this, yeah, or the cork screw is the one I always do, like up and down and up.

That's just life.

That's just life.

It's just the way it's going to go. And you know, for me, I've had many seasons in my career. Some are highly productive and it's a lot about structure. And then to me, it just kind of feels like weather, Like weather comes in and I can just sniff it out and I can tell time to step back, and it's a season of almost regrouping and auditing and like slowing down and maybe taking a down year in revenue because to have the next big stage, I have to have the space to regroup. There's a famous like adage or metaphor about you know, shooting the arrow, and for the arrow to have momentum, you have to pull it back first. And there's an honoring of the seasons that has to occur that I think sometimes women can struggle with because again, stepping back to them looks like, oh my gosh, I'm killing my momentum.

It's just the way it's going to go. And you know, for me, I've had many seasons in my career. Some are highly productive and it's a lot about structure. And then to me, it just kind of feels like weather, Like weather comes in and I can just sniff it out and I can tell time to step back, and it's a season of almost regrouping and auditing and like slowing down and maybe taking a down year in revenue because to have the next big stage, I have to have the space to regroup. There's a famous like adage or metaphor about you know, shooting the arrow, and for the arrow to have momentum, you have to pull it back first. And there's an honoring of the seasons that has to occur that I think sometimes women can struggle with because again, stepping back to them looks like, oh my gosh, I'm killing my momentum.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, But to conceive and create the next big stage it's equally as important.

Yeah, But to conceive and create the next big stage it's equally as important.

That's the hard part, because that's what we talked about at the beginning, where if if you're in the pullbacks eight, you're trying to rest and relax, recoup all of the things we shame ourselves. Yeah, we do. It's like a constant cycle we do. Well, let's talk a little bit more about the other things that you do. You've mentioned a couple of times of high achieving women, and so I know there's a business mentorship also paradigm shifts. So can you talk through what both of those mean and if people would be interested in working with you?

That's the hard part, because that's what we talked about at the beginning, where if if you're in the pullbacks eight, you're trying to rest and relax, recoup all of the things we shame ourselves. Yeah, we do. It's like a constant cycle we do. Well, let's talk a little bit more about the other things that you do. You've mentioned a couple of times of high achieving women, and so I know there's a business mentorship also paradigm shifts. So can you talk through what both of those mean and if people would be interested in working with you?

Yeah, So everything we've talked about here without going like too technical. It's like we can live in a paradigm of worthiness or not. And a paradigm is a pattern. And it's like again that worldview that gets set when we're little and then it gets reinforced by our culture. And for my audience of women, most of them live in this paradigm of I've got to earn it. It's got to be a struggle. If I didn't do it myself, it doesn't count. You know, everything we've talked about, that's a paradigm that they live in and it doesn't have to be that way. So part of breaking out of any kind of pattern is you have to pause, because if you don't pause, then the pattern just keeps replicating itself. And so the platform which you can find at start Pausing dot com, the gateway to that would be this five day mental reset, which is to really help women who know they're in their heads too much, who know that they maybe have a tendency to be like perfectionistic and overly driven and they can't relax, you know, to really find that harmony again, which will make everything, including in their personal life, so much easier. So it's shifting from one paradigm that our culture has told us and prided this is the way, and really claiming and agreeing with that there is another way to be in your life that is not so much sacrifice.

Yeah, So everything we've talked about here without going like too technical. It's like we can live in a paradigm of worthiness or not. And a paradigm is a pattern. And it's like again that worldview that gets set when we're little and then it gets reinforced by our culture. And for my audience of women, most of them live in this paradigm of I've got to earn it. It's got to be a struggle. If I didn't do it myself, it doesn't count. You know, everything we've talked about, that's a paradigm that they live in and it doesn't have to be that way. So part of breaking out of any kind of pattern is you have to pause, because if you don't pause, then the pattern just keeps replicating itself. And so the platform which you can find at start Pausing dot com, the gateway to that would be this five day mental reset, which is to really help women who know they're in their heads too much, who know that they maybe have a tendency to be like perfectionistic and overly driven and they can't relax, you know, to really find that harmony again, which will make everything, including in their personal life, so much easier. So it's shifting from one paradigm that our culture has told us and prided this is the way, and really claiming and agreeing with that there is another way to be in your life that is not so much sacrifice.

I always talk about the power of the pause. That's why I was smiling when you were saying that. Yes, the listeners are so familiar with that because I did the opposite, and I, like I said, tried to follow the rule book of someone else or many other people for many years and it just led to such burnout and complete collapse. Yeah, but it was ultimately the best thing for me because it has taught me a little bit more about balance and I struggle with it still. It's like an ongoing thing. But even allowing myself yesterday to reach out to you was like such progress for me because I would have just powered through in the past, you know. And sometimes we just have to pause and give ourselves a space.