Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Hello are you Are you British?

Hello are you Are you British?

So I think it was like a combination of Australian and British.

So I think it was like a combination of Australian and British.

Yeah, that's just Madonna.

Yeah, that's just Madonna.

I do wish I was British sometimes I just love a British accent.

I do wish I was British sometimes I just love a British accent.

Why do they sound smarter?

Why do they sound smarter?

Well, just maybe a little more refined. Yeah, I do think I was British in a past life because I have obsessions with all things British culture, and so, you know, sometimes it just comes out, you.

Well, just maybe a little more refined. Yeah, I do think I was British in a past life because I have obsessions with all things British culture, and so, you know, sometimes it just comes out, you.

Know, I mean, yeah, it's.

Know, I mean, yeah, it's.

Sometimes it's Cajun sounding and sometimes it's British. I mean whenever. Well, happy Friday you guys. I talked to Chip.

Sometimes it's Cajun sounding and sometimes it's British. I mean whenever. Well, happy Friday you guys. I talked to Chip.

I was.

I was.

I gave you a copy of this book actually by Harry Cohen, and it was Be the Sun Not the sal And I talked to doctor Harry Cohen on Wednesday's podcast. I did tell you I was reading this book thinking to myself, this is for first of all, this is just Chip, and this is just like my boyfriend, because both of you guys are sevens on the Enneagram, and you bring such a positive energy to everything you do, and that's kind of what this book is about. It's a daily kind of reader reminder of the small things you can do in your day, in your life, in your relationships that will better your life. And also everyone else is around you. But you texted me and you go, I feel seen.

I gave you a copy of this book actually by Harry Cohen, and it was Be the Sun Not the sal And I talked to doctor Harry Cohen on Wednesday's podcast. I did tell you I was reading this book thinking to myself, this is for first of all, this is just Chip, and this is just like my boyfriend, because both of you guys are sevens on the Enneagram, and you bring such a positive energy to everything you do, and that's kind of what this book is about. It's a daily kind of reader reminder of the small things you can do in your day, in your life, in your relationships that will better your life. And also everyone else is around you. But you texted me and you go, I feel seen.

I feel seen. I'd never heard of the word heliotropic before.

I feel seen. I'd never heard of the word heliotropic before.

We'll tell the listeners what that means.

We'll tell the listeners what that means.

The heliotropic effect is the tendency for all living systems to be drawn to energy that sustains its life. Like gravity, the heliotropic effect is a powerful, invisible force that we can harness if we understand it. So it's basically like radiating light, you know, yeah, and then being.

The heliotropic effect is the tendency for all living systems to be drawn to energy that sustains its life. Like gravity, the heliotropic effect is a powerful, invisible force that we can harness if we understand it. So it's basically like radiating light, you know, yeah, and then being.

Positivity gravitating towards you because you have a light about you or the energy around you is positive, and it does that feel heavy or bring you down. And you and I were talking about this after and we're like, this is literally what we feel on a day today. And in our society, it's really hard to not escape the salt. Like if we're saying, be the sun, not the salt. Right now, there feels like there's a lot of salt everywhere social media politics, and it's just so interesting because it's almost like salt cells and sun doesn't.

Positivity gravitating towards you because you have a light about you or the energy around you is positive, and it does that feel heavy or bring you down. And you and I were talking about this after and we're like, this is literally what we feel on a day today. And in our society, it's really hard to not escape the salt. Like if we're saying, be the sun, not the salt. Right now, there feels like there's a lot of salt everywhere social media politics, and it's just so interesting because it's almost like salt cells and sun doesn't.

But I'm guilty of it. That's it.

But I'm guilty of it. That's it.

Yeah, I'm look, I know that when I go to look at the news, I click on all the horrible headlines. Yeah, like I'm like bus crash, fifty eight people dead.

Yeah, I'm look, I know that when I go to look at the news, I click on all the horrible headlines. Yeah, like I'm like bus crash, fifty eight people dead.

I need to know about that.

I need to know about that.

And it's just like when I think back, I mean a I try not to read the news anymore because I just can't stomach it. But I think back to it, I'm like, what was that doing to me internally, you know, emotionally, to just want to read the bad news?

And it's just like when I think back, I mean a I try not to read the news anymore because I just can't stomach it. But I think back to it, I'm like, what was that doing to me internally, you know, emotionally, to just want to read the bad news?

Well, I think it keeps us. If we're talking in terms of like a psychology thinking mindset, I would say it probably keeps us in fight or flight. So once your nervous system gets activated, you almost are drawn to these things that continue that pattern because it feels familiar. So we're doing these things subconsciously, but it doesn't really make us feel good. I think everyone's probably been in some state of fight or flight since the pandemic, whether you want to believe it or accept that or not, we have all gone through this collective trauma. There's so much fighting happening everywhere, and like you just mentioned, like we didn't used to see that kind of stuff all the time, we weren't reading about every single thing that happened in the world all the time.

Well, I think it keeps us. If we're talking in terms of like a psychology thinking mindset, I would say it probably keeps us in fight or flight. So once your nervous system gets activated, you almost are drawn to these things that continue that pattern because it feels familiar. So we're doing these things subconsciously, but it doesn't really make us feel good. I think everyone's probably been in some state of fight or flight since the pandemic, whether you want to believe it or accept that or not, we have all gone through this collective trauma. There's so much fighting happening everywhere, and like you just mentioned, like we didn't used to see that kind of stuff all the time, we weren't reading about every single thing that happened in the world all the time.

Yeah, I mean, news is now a twenty four hour cycle at us. At least when we were growing up, it wasn't like the news came on at.

Yeah, I mean, news is now a twenty four hour cycle at us. At least when we were growing up, it wasn't like the news came on at.

Six o'clock and the ten o'clock.

Six o'clock and the ten o'clock.

You read the paper in the morning and it came on at five six and then again right before bed, so you had.

You read the paper in the morning and it came on at five six and then again right before bed, so you had.

Some control about what you were receiving and taking in, like you said. And now it's just our brains are easily accessible to these news outlets or trolls online or whatever it is all the time because of the social media world. And it's like also it's just emails, Like I'm subscribed to certain emails from different newspapers and things like that, so you're constantly getting it in there too. When I really think about it, it just feels like it's everywhere you turn.

Some control about what you were receiving and taking in, like you said. And now it's just our brains are easily accessible to these news outlets or trolls online or whatever it is all the time because of the social media world. And it's like also it's just emails, Like I'm subscribed to certain emails from different newspapers and things like that, so you're constantly getting it in there too. When I really think about it, it just feels like it's everywhere you turn.

Yeah, I mean, I wrote I have a subscription to Rolling Stone because I'm a music junkie, and I don't think like maybe ten percent of their headlines that I get emailed are music centric.

Yeah, I mean, I wrote I have a subscription to Rolling Stone because I'm a music junkie, and I don't think like maybe ten percent of their headlines that I get emailed are music centric.

That's so wild.

That's so wild.

It's all politics now.

It's all politics now.

Yeah, politics has become entertainment, you know, And I think that's why it is dangerous and bad for us.

Yeah, politics has become entertainment, you know, And I think that's why it is dangerous and bad for us.

Because being a villain in politics.

Because being a villain in politics.

Now is like being a villain in a Hollywood film, and everyone wants to write about it, and we've all grown up loving those types of movies.

Now is like being a villain in a Hollywood film, and everyone wants to write about it, and we've all grown up loving those types of movies.

But like, where the fucking heroes today we like happen?

But like, where the fucking heroes today we like happen?

Right, That's what maybe we're arguing about, is who can be the hero? But the truth is it feels like we're watching a bad reality TV show to me, and it's actually real life though, Like that's what people don't understand about reality TV as we talk about this a lot, like it's not necessarily exactly realistic if you will, I mean, it's parts part of it is realistic, but then it's fabricated for TV or amplified for TV or done a certain way for TV, and then that's what's happening in our political world, it feels like, except that it's the outcomes are actually real life, Like it's impacting real life things that are big and dangerous and scary. So it is a big deal. It's not just shouldn't just be tabloid fodder or something to get your popcorn out for and just watch villains or fake heroes or whatever.

Right, That's what maybe we're arguing about, is who can be the hero? But the truth is it feels like we're watching a bad reality TV show to me, and it's actually real life though, Like that's what people don't understand about reality TV as we talk about this a lot, like it's not necessarily exactly realistic if you will, I mean, it's parts part of it is realistic, but then it's fabricated for TV or amplified for TV or done a certain way for TV, and then that's what's happening in our political world, it feels like, except that it's the outcomes are actually real life, Like it's impacting real life things that are big and dangerous and scary. So it is a big deal. It's not just shouldn't just be tabloid fodder or something to get your popcorn out for and just watch villains or fake heroes or whatever.

You know, it's just become a dangerous game that is better ignored maybe, but.

You know, it's just become a dangerous game that is better ignored maybe, but.

It's hard because you feel like you need to be in It's a fine line. There's two sides of this coin. So I mean, we had talked about it on a political scale at first, and I'll talk about it in a second why that came up for us. But it's hard because I don't really like to talk about politics on this podcast. I don't like to feel like I'm taking one side and we can't have listeners who voted the other way or anything like that. Like I actually think that defeats the whole purpose of living in a democracy that everyone can have their own opinion. I'm also not a political analyst or anything like that, now, are you. It's completely opinion based and it just feels like I don't want to add to the noise of that, and it's hard to ignore because it's everywhere. So without taking sides, I do try to like mention the things that are impacting us, but not necessarily go so hard in the paint. I think we've just it's a hard like we've gone back and forth on this on how to talk about it and whatever. But you had sent me a T shirt the other day because we were talking about I actually don't even remember why. What was the topic that you sent that for.

It's hard because you feel like you need to be in It's a fine line. There's two sides of this coin. So I mean, we had talked about it on a political scale at first, and I'll talk about it in a second why that came up for us. But it's hard because I don't really like to talk about politics on this podcast. I don't like to feel like I'm taking one side and we can't have listeners who voted the other way or anything like that. Like I actually think that defeats the whole purpose of living in a democracy that everyone can have their own opinion. I'm also not a political analyst or anything like that, now, are you. It's completely opinion based and it just feels like I don't want to add to the noise of that, and it's hard to ignore because it's everywhere. So without taking sides, I do try to like mention the things that are impacting us, but not necessarily go so hard in the paint. I think we've just it's a hard like we've gone back and forth on this on how to talk about it and whatever. But you had sent me a T shirt the other day because we were talking about I actually don't even remember why. What was the topic that you sent that for.

I can't even remember.

I can't even remember.

You were mad about something our current president did.

You were mad about something our current president did.

Yes, well, I mean it started with the tesla ad that he Oh that's what.

Yes, well, I mean it started with the tesla ad that he Oh that's what.

It was, That's what it was. Sorry, yeah, yeah, again, whatever you believe politically, like that's on you and this is on us and whatever, Like I don't. I think we've got to get over not being able to have different opinions from some people that we like. Everyone has different value systems, like that's what I truly believe, and the things that mattered to one person are not necessarily going to be the things that top are the top matters to others. So we have to respect each other, I think. But the T shirt you said like it was supporting a cause that you believed in. But the T shirt to me was very negative, like it said I didn't vote for him, and I just I've seen this so much, and trust me, I'm not saying this from a place of like I haven't done it too. I think we've done it. What I'm seeing is like, like we're not getting anywhere, because all we're doing is trying to blame each side, and the truth is both sides are pretty fucked up, like the extreme things are not working. So we got to figure out a way to like come together. And I think a lot of people actually have beliefs somewhere in the middle, but we just get so triggered by stuff I am included in that that we want to just send hate back and it's not working. Like I think we need to fight for the causes we believe in, but I think we got to find another way to do it. And so for me, the T shirt saying I didn't vote for him because I've we've had that on the other side as well, like sent back to us. I'm like, what is that accomplishing? So you're right there wrong, Like what does that actually get done? And then you and I talked about it and you're like, yeah, I actually agree, like, yeah, that's not the kind of energy that we want to bring to it to actually try to make changes. I'm not saying I have the solution. I just don't think that that's it.

It was, That's what it was. Sorry, yeah, yeah, again, whatever you believe politically, like that's on you and this is on us and whatever, Like I don't. I think we've got to get over not being able to have different opinions from some people that we like. Everyone has different value systems, like that's what I truly believe, and the things that mattered to one person are not necessarily going to be the things that top are the top matters to others. So we have to respect each other, I think. But the T shirt you said like it was supporting a cause that you believed in. But the T shirt to me was very negative, like it said I didn't vote for him, and I just I've seen this so much, and trust me, I'm not saying this from a place of like I haven't done it too. I think we've done it. What I'm seeing is like, like we're not getting anywhere, because all we're doing is trying to blame each side, and the truth is both sides are pretty fucked up, like the extreme things are not working. So we got to figure out a way to like come together. And I think a lot of people actually have beliefs somewhere in the middle, but we just get so triggered by stuff I am included in that that we want to just send hate back and it's not working. Like I think we need to fight for the causes we believe in, but I think we got to find another way to do it. And so for me, the T shirt saying I didn't vote for him because I've we've had that on the other side as well, like sent back to us. I'm like, what is that accomplishing? So you're right there wrong, Like what does that actually get done? And then you and I talked about it and you're like, yeah, I actually agree, like, yeah, that's not the kind of energy that we want to bring to it to actually try to make changes. I'm not saying I have the solution. I just don't think that that's it.

Does that make sense totally? Yeah?

Does that make sense totally? Yeah?

And it's you know, I think it's a really easy trap to fall into to like embrace to embrace the snark and miss the big picture.

And it's you know, I think it's a really easy trap to fall into to like embrace to embrace the snark and miss the big picture.

It does are security, so we're like or we don't feel in control, so we want to like blame somebody. That's a normal human thing.

It does are security, so we're like or we don't feel in control, so we want to like blame somebody. That's a normal human thing.

Totally.

Totally.

Yeah, what were you about to say?

Yeah, what were you about to say?

No, I'm saying like that shirt in particular, like negativity can be wrapped up in the humor of it, you know, the snarkiness of the shirt, and it blinds you from the bigger picture of it being a blame game versus it being a funny, snarky thing, because I do see the humor in it too, or the protective qualities of it just to be like I didn't do it, you know, in the same way that someone would wear something positive like a MAGA hat because they're proud of it. But there's a maga, maga, I don't know, maga, I don't know, maga whatever, but the MGA hat, like they wear it because they're supportive of it. But there's also the underlying tone of I'm better than you, you know, like.

No, I'm saying like that shirt in particular, like negativity can be wrapped up in the humor of it, you know, the snarkiness of the shirt, and it blinds you from the bigger picture of it being a blame game versus it being a funny, snarky thing, because I do see the humor in it too, or the protective qualities of it just to be like I didn't do it, you know, in the same way that someone would wear something positive like a MAGA hat because they're proud of it. But there's a maga, maga, I don't know, maga, I don't know, maga whatever, but the MGA hat, like they wear it because they're supportive of it. But there's also the underlying tone of I'm better than you, you know, like.

There is it is mentally be great if we do it this way.

There is it is mentally be great if we do it this way.

Right right, And there is the element, yeah, the element of just like where right you're wrong in the same way it's it's not meant to be snarky, like it's not funny, right, but it sends the same message.

Right right, And there is the element, yeah, the element of just like where right you're wrong in the same way it's it's not meant to be snarky, like it's not funny, right, but it sends the same message.

Well, the truth is.

Well, the truth is.

Think about if you get in a fight with someone and you go to hard to bat at your side, like most fights, we know this, there's two sides to every story. The third one is typically the truth, right, Like every fight probably has a little dose of truth on each side, or someone's coming from a certain perspective that makes sense for them and their journey or whatever you want to say. So if you realize after a fight that whatever you were saying, you're like, eh, yeah, maybe they were right, Like I could see what they're saying now, and you go to them and literally all they say to you is I told you so or something. Yeah, what does that do. There's no repair between y'all, Like, no, not ever gonna be good. It just makes you probably more mad and it doesn't accomplish anything. And so that's kind of the same energy to me that is being put out with so much of the politics as like, well, I told you so, But it's happening on both sides, and both sides truly believe their side is right. We have to figure out a way I think to hear the other side agree to disagree on some things, probably a lot of things, but how do we work together for the common goal and be more of the sun with each other than just throwing more salts on the wounds, Like it's not helping.

Think about if you get in a fight with someone and you go to hard to bat at your side, like most fights, we know this, there's two sides to every story. The third one is typically the truth, right, Like every fight probably has a little dose of truth on each side, or someone's coming from a certain perspective that makes sense for them and their journey or whatever you want to say. So if you realize after a fight that whatever you were saying, you're like, eh, yeah, maybe they were right, Like I could see what they're saying now, and you go to them and literally all they say to you is I told you so or something. Yeah, what does that do. There's no repair between y'all, Like, no, not ever gonna be good. It just makes you probably more mad and it doesn't accomplish anything. And so that's kind of the same energy to me that is being put out with so much of the politics as like, well, I told you so, But it's happening on both sides, and both sides truly believe their side is right. We have to figure out a way I think to hear the other side agree to disagree on some things, probably a lot of things, but how do we work together for the common goal and be more of the sun with each other than just throwing more salts on the wounds, Like it's not helping.

Yeah, it's truly causing a decay of society.

Yeah, it's truly causing a decay of society.

Well, it's just the pendulum keeps going back and forth.

Well, it's just the pendulum keeps going back and forth.

You Yeah, and that's never You're never gonna You're never gonna meet in the middle that way. No.

You Yeah, and that's never You're never gonna You're never gonna meet in the middle that way. No.

The point being to me is I'm seeing now a lot of times now that the political environment has shifted to the more conservative side. A lot of the people that I follow are saying we'll see I told you or whatever, and it's just like that T shirt. It's like, it's just like, I don't think that that helps as a person who is seeing things happen right now that I don't think I voted for. If I just go, well, I didn't vote for that. What am I helping other than my ego? Do you know what I'm saying? Like that, it's just a very ego base to me, and it's very much like we're all doing the best we can exactly like it's I told you so, it's whatever, and again, voice your concerns if that's what it is. But can we all try to change the way we're doing it. That's my biggest thing. It's like, let's be able to have a fucking adult conversation about differing a penis and differing beliefs, because then we might actually get something done. But the longer that we sit on these tangents of well, I didn't do that, or that was all you, or you voted for that not me, or you said to do this and not me, and it's.

The point being to me is I'm seeing now a lot of times now that the political environment has shifted to the more conservative side. A lot of the people that I follow are saying we'll see I told you or whatever, and it's just like that T shirt. It's like, it's just like, I don't think that that helps as a person who is seeing things happen right now that I don't think I voted for. If I just go, well, I didn't vote for that. What am I helping other than my ego? Do you know what I'm saying? Like that, it's just a very ego base to me, and it's very much like we're all doing the best we can exactly like it's I told you so, it's whatever, and again, voice your concerns if that's what it is. But can we all try to change the way we're doing it. That's my biggest thing. It's like, let's be able to have a fucking adult conversation about differing a penis and differing beliefs, because then we might actually get something done. But the longer that we sit on these tangents of well, I didn't do that, or that was all you, or you voted for that not me, or you said to do this and not me, and it's.

Like, Okay, it accomplishes nothing. It's not accomplishes nothing.

Like, Okay, it accomplishes nothing. It's not accomplishes nothing.

Yeah, And I think so a lot of that to get off the political stuff and go back to social media is like, we're seeing a lot of that on social media. And so a research is social media negativity rewarded over positivity? And the answer, what do you think it is?

Yeah, And I think so a lot of that to get off the political stuff and go back to social media is like, we're seeing a lot of that on social media. And so a research is social media negativity rewarded over positivity? And the answer, what do you think it is?

Hands down, it is rewarded.

Hands down, it is rewarded.

Yeah, a million percent rewarded.

Yeah, a million percent rewarded.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Studies have shown that negative posts often garner more engagement than positive ones. For instance, research indicates that negative news content increases physiological activation and is more likely to be remembered, leading to higher share rates. Isn't that crazy?

Studies have shown that negative posts often garner more engagement than positive ones. For instance, research indicates that negative news content increases physiological activation and is more likely to be remembered, leading to higher share rates. Isn't that crazy?

Do you think it's like a do the mean thing where it affects our brains in a way that like calls this fight or flight because I can imagine like some of the shares are like I'm forty, like if I disagree with it, I'm pissed off.

Do you think it's like a do the mean thing where it affects our brains in a way that like calls this fight or flight because I can imagine like some of the shares are like I'm forty, like if I disagree with it, I'm pissed off.

So I'm fording because I get them all the time.

So I'm fording because I get them all the time.

And right after the inauguration when I was unhappy, I was having friends forward me a bunch of stuff that like were negative, and I had to ask them like, hey, this name is in my inbox enough and on my screens enough.

And right after the inauguration when I was unhappy, I was having friends forward me a bunch of stuff that like were negative, and I had to ask them like, hey, this name is in my inbox enough and on my screens enough.

I don't need my friends fording it.

I don't need my friends fording it.

It's not helping you, it's not helping me get it down.

It's not helping you, it's not helping me get it down.

So there is like a I think that the salty things get that sort of interaction for two reasons, Whereas it's so much easier to gloss over something positive.

So there is like a I think that the salty things get that sort of interaction for two reasons, Whereas it's so much easier to gloss over something positive.

You're just like, oh, yeah, it's cute, Oh that's cute.

You're just like, oh, yeah, it's cute, Oh that's cute.

You know.

You know.

I can only speak for myself, but what I did realize, like my boyfriend, like I said, has a very similar mentality to you, and he with this political environment is like I think it's so interesting because both sides when either if you had if Biden was your president or if Trump is your president, that you voted for. One side of that argument was always freaking the fuck out that the world was over while the opposite person was in office. If I'm not saying that right, Like, if you're a Democrat right now, you're struggling with the Trump being in office when you if you're super hard conservative, you're probably struggling with Biden. And so his point to me is always like, focus on yourself better the world. Do like do your part of the thing, you know, like bring sun not salt in your everyday interactions. Show up and do the best you can. And I will have days where I'm like, that's not gonna say right right, so emotional that like sometimes the emotions overwhelm me. And the more I've thought about it though, and I'm reading this book kind of helped too. I just am like part of that is right, because what happens for me if I start reading about negative political news and I get hooked on it. It's almost like I don't know if it's like a control thing, but it's like the more that I think my brain thinks, the more that I read, the more in control that I'll be because I'll be in the know of when the world's gonna end, right, And it's like, yeah, that's not really how this works. It's not how the universe works. But I do think there's some sort of sense of safety and security. It's false, but a false sense of security and safety that I'm trying to garner by having as much information as I can. And now that we're saying what we're saying, though, it's like and also that gives the media and trolls online and all of these other avenues or outlets control over my fucking brain and my life.

I can only speak for myself, but what I did realize, like my boyfriend, like I said, has a very similar mentality to you, and he with this political environment is like I think it's so interesting because both sides when either if you had if Biden was your president or if Trump is your president, that you voted for. One side of that argument was always freaking the fuck out that the world was over while the opposite person was in office. If I'm not saying that right, Like, if you're a Democrat right now, you're struggling with the Trump being in office when you if you're super hard conservative, you're probably struggling with Biden. And so his point to me is always like, focus on yourself better the world. Do like do your part of the thing, you know, like bring sun not salt in your everyday interactions. Show up and do the best you can. And I will have days where I'm like, that's not gonna say right right, so emotional that like sometimes the emotions overwhelm me. And the more I've thought about it though, and I'm reading this book kind of helped too. I just am like part of that is right, because what happens for me if I start reading about negative political news and I get hooked on it. It's almost like I don't know if it's like a control thing, but it's like the more that I think my brain thinks, the more that I read, the more in control that I'll be because I'll be in the know of when the world's gonna end, right, And it's like, yeah, that's not really how this works. It's not how the universe works. But I do think there's some sort of sense of safety and security. It's false, but a false sense of security and safety that I'm trying to garner by having as much information as I can. And now that we're saying what we're saying, though, it's like and also that gives the media and trolls online and all of these other avenues or outlets control over my fucking brain and my life.

Yeah, I mean, and that's what they want. I mean, they are designed to hook you. They are designed to be a deck if they are designed to keep you engaged, because the more you're on it, the more they're selling ads, the more you're clicking on things to buy, the more the more the more.

Yeah, I mean, and that's what they want. I mean, they are designed to hook you. They are designed to be a deck if they are designed to keep you engaged, because the more you're on it, the more they're selling ads, the more you're clicking on things to buy, the more the more the more.

You know.

You know.

What's funny is, while you were talking, like, all I could think of is the old adage ignorance is.

What's funny is, while you were talking, like, all I could think of is the old adage ignorance is.

Bliss, you know what I mean.

Bliss, you know what I mean.

It's like, at what point, like when we were running around as kids and all we knew was like fun. We didn't have information, we had friends, we had adventures, we had we were making shit up in our heads and we were like happy and the world like we weren't even aware of what was going on in Washington, DC.

It's like, at what point, like when we were running around as kids and all we knew was like fun. We didn't have information, we had friends, we had adventures, we had we were making shit up in our heads and we were like happy and the world like we weren't even aware of what was going on in Washington, DC.

And I think if.

And I think if.

We could all sort of approach try to approach life a little bit more like find that kid in us again that would run up to a stranger and hand them a flower that they just picked, or tell someone that they, you know, like their shirt, or just be more sun in the world. Really, that is the weapon that changes all of this bullshit. That's the only way forward.

We could all sort of approach try to approach life a little bit more like find that kid in us again that would run up to a stranger and hand them a flower that they just picked, or tell someone that they, you know, like their shirt, or just be more sun in the world. Really, that is the weapon that changes all of this bullshit. That's the only way forward.

But it's so funny though, because it's like what I said to you before the podcast, I feel sometimes like the more healthy I and my life have gotten, that I seem more boring. Like it's almost like if you are not operating from a high drama chaos place. I mean, there's no entertainment value in that, right, And so it's almost like really having to rewire our entire culture to understand that positivity, calm lives, like consistency, the things like the things that I changed when I changed how I dated, like the things I was looking for in a relationship are almost on a bigger scale what we need to change or what might be beneficial for us to change, But it's the same old thing of like you know, even sex cells or the sense sationalized things or you and I used to talk about like sometimes we would do more shock factor kind of things, like oh, if we tell people this, then that's enticing, and the truth is, is it fucking works?

But it's so funny though, because it's like what I said to you before the podcast, I feel sometimes like the more healthy I and my life have gotten, that I seem more boring. Like it's almost like if you are not operating from a high drama chaos place. I mean, there's no entertainment value in that, right, And so it's almost like really having to rewire our entire culture to understand that positivity, calm lives, like consistency, the things like the things that I changed when I changed how I dated, like the things I was looking for in a relationship are almost on a bigger scale what we need to change or what might be beneficial for us to change, But it's the same old thing of like you know, even sex cells or the sense sationalized things or you and I used to talk about like sometimes we would do more shock factor kind of things, like oh, if we tell people this, then that's enticing, and the truth is, is it fucking works?

And like, well, we're in an attention economy, so it's like we were doing that shit for attention, and now this feels more intentional instead of attentional. It's we're like, we're doing this from I don't even know if attentional is a word, but if it isn't, trademarket, Yeah.

And like, well, we're in an attention economy, so it's like we were doing that shit for attention, and now this feels more intentional instead of attentional. It's we're like, we're doing this from I don't even know if attentional is a word, but if it isn't, trademarket, Yeah.

This is intentional.

This is intentional.

And it's like, maybe we don't reach as many people by doing it because we're not going to have a moment that goes viral or whatever. But my hope is that by us being more vulnerable and kind and positive, that the people that we are reaching and the people that are listening were bringing light into their day. And I would encourage anybody who is listening that feels like they know people that need more positivity to share this with somebody like, because that's how that grows. And I'm not saying that even just for like listenership and numbers or whatever. I'm saying it because it's like, there's only so many people a day that I can touch, you know, personally and shine a little light on. And I agree with you, like I feel like my life has gotten really fucking boring lately, and.

And it's like, maybe we don't reach as many people by doing it because we're not going to have a moment that goes viral or whatever. But my hope is that by us being more vulnerable and kind and positive, that the people that we are reaching and the people that are listening were bringing light into their day. And I would encourage anybody who is listening that feels like they know people that need more positivity to share this with somebody like, because that's how that grows. And I'm not saying that even just for like listenership and numbers or whatever. I'm saying it because it's like, there's only so many people a day that I can touch, you know, personally and shine a little light on. And I agree with you, like I feel like my life has gotten really fucking boring lately, and.

I love it saying I don't.

I love it saying I don't.

Want the attention. I craved so much attention. You know, I wanted to be popular, I wanted to be liked by everybody. I wanted all of the things that really don't matter. Like now, what I want is to like myself truly deeply and know myself. And I mean I've done all that stuff. At the end of the day, I often felt really fucking empty.

Want the attention. I craved so much attention. You know, I wanted to be popular, I wanted to be liked by everybody. I wanted all of the things that really don't matter. Like now, what I want is to like myself truly deeply and know myself. And I mean I've done all that stuff. At the end of the day, I often felt really fucking empty.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I worked so hard to have nearly six thousand friends on Facebook just to have someone steal it, you know.

I worked so hard to have nearly six thousand friends on Facebook just to have someone steal it, you know.

What I mean, Like, what the fuck?

What I mean, Like, what the fuck?

It meant nothing? It meant nothing, and you know how happy I am without it now?

It meant nothing? It meant nothing, and you know how happy I am without it now?

Yeah, I don't know. That other thing is is like when the focus is that I think both of us have experienced, even like this thing you just said about Facebook, When you experience something like that, then you realize, oh my god, I worked so hard to get to this place, and then it's proof it's gone, you know, overnight, and I'm still here and my life is still the same, And what did it actually mean then? So, when you're chasing attention or validation or all the external things as the number one priority, it can be taken away at any moment, and you're insatiable, you'll never have enough. I think both of us have reached a different place now where we're like, wait, I just want to have quality conversations like this, for instance, if people shared, I would just hope that people just start talking in the same way that you and I are, just asking the questions, Like this isn't to sit on some soapbox and be like, let's be kind to everybody because we're so kind and we're perfect, like neither one of us are, and we're not trying to say that by any means. I'm just like, what we're doing in this world, it doesn't feel like it's working to me. That's all that I notice. So there has to be another way. And if we haven't done that way before, let's figure it out together, Like, let's start asking the questions. Let's start talking about I want to fucking ran out. I know, let's talk about what's not working or what we feel like when we're experiencing all these things online, in politics, whatever it is. And I bet you most people would say I feel heavy, I don't feel good, and isn't the goal to feel good? Like why are we not doing the things that make us happy and that make us feel good and then spreading that around? And I think that's what you and I just started to realize, like, Okay, maybe we want to be more of the sun and not the salt. Like I don't want to be talking about gossip and slander and all that stuff anymore. It doesn't feel good to me. That's why I don't want to do it. Not because I think I'm better than anybody else. I just literally it makes me feel bad, Like I don't want to do it. I don't want to do things that make me feel bad.

Yeah, I don't know. That other thing is is like when the focus is that I think both of us have experienced, even like this thing you just said about Facebook, When you experience something like that, then you realize, oh my god, I worked so hard to get to this place, and then it's proof it's gone, you know, overnight, and I'm still here and my life is still the same, And what did it actually mean then? So, when you're chasing attention or validation or all the external things as the number one priority, it can be taken away at any moment, and you're insatiable, you'll never have enough. I think both of us have reached a different place now where we're like, wait, I just want to have quality conversations like this, for instance, if people shared, I would just hope that people just start talking in the same way that you and I are, just asking the questions, Like this isn't to sit on some soapbox and be like, let's be kind to everybody because we're so kind and we're perfect, like neither one of us are, and we're not trying to say that by any means. I'm just like, what we're doing in this world, it doesn't feel like it's working to me. That's all that I notice. So there has to be another way. And if we haven't done that way before, let's figure it out together, Like, let's start asking the questions. Let's start talking about I want to fucking ran out. I know, let's talk about what's not working or what we feel like when we're experiencing all these things online, in politics, whatever it is. And I bet you most people would say I feel heavy, I don't feel good, and isn't the goal to feel good? Like why are we not doing the things that make us happy and that make us feel good and then spreading that around? And I think that's what you and I just started to realize, like, Okay, maybe we want to be more of the sun and not the salt. Like I don't want to be talking about gossip and slander and all that stuff anymore. It doesn't feel good to me. That's why I don't want to do it. Not because I think I'm better than anybody else. I just literally it makes me feel bad, Like I don't want to do it. I don't want to do things that make me feel bad.

I don't feel like I'm better than anybody else. I just want to be the best me.

I don't feel like I'm better than anybody else. I just want to be the best me.

Yeah. I talked about being on that journey lately.

Yeah. I talked about being on that journey lately.

Like a lot.

Like a lot.

Yeah, I am kumbay eyeing myself, and I do think it was because I was I was looking for the external validation and all the while I didn't like myself, and that was a really hard pill to swallow, to recognize that.

Yeah, I am kumbay eyeing myself, and I do think it was because I was I was looking for the external validation and all the while I didn't like myself, and that was a really hard pill to swallow, to recognize that.

And now I do like myself.

And now I do like myself.

You know, I'm and every day I'm reading something to try and stay in touch with myself. I've started journaling, I'm doing all the things, and I you know, it's funny too, because I've had to have some really tough conversations with some friends lately that I don't know that I would have had the courage to do in the past. And it's crazy how easy it is, even when it's a hard conversation, how easy it is when like you know that it's coming from a place of pure love and there is no pill on earth that can replace that feeling. And it's also amazing when it comes back to you and they're like, I'm so grateful that you were honest with me about that.

You know, I'm and every day I'm reading something to try and stay in touch with myself. I've started journaling, I'm doing all the things, and I you know, it's funny too, because I've had to have some really tough conversations with some friends lately that I don't know that I would have had the courage to do in the past. And it's crazy how easy it is, even when it's a hard conversation, how easy it is when like you know that it's coming from a place of pure love and there is no pill on earth that can replace that feeling. And it's also amazing when it comes back to you and they're like, I'm so grateful that you were honest with me about that.

Yes, yeah, what I hear you saying is that your life is just getting deeper and so it's getting richer. And I think that's a really great overall thing to think about, too, is just instead of the fighting and being so on the surface of the things, why are we not let's start looking maybe at the root of some like we talk about root causes with health, but there's also root causes with mental health and less psychological issues and happiness and all of the driving forces of everything that we do why we do what we do. So if you disagree with somebody, maybe look at the root of their story and where they're coming from, and also where you're coming from, and stop arguing about the simple point and try to have a conversation about the deeper thing. It's just really interesting when you start doing that, isn't it Like your relationships get better, you feel better, life gets better, better, all of it. It's just deeper, richer, warmer, happier.

Yes, yeah, what I hear you saying is that your life is just getting deeper and so it's getting richer. And I think that's a really great overall thing to think about, too, is just instead of the fighting and being so on the surface of the things, why are we not let's start looking maybe at the root of some like we talk about root causes with health, but there's also root causes with mental health and less psychological issues and happiness and all of the driving forces of everything that we do why we do what we do. So if you disagree with somebody, maybe look at the root of their story and where they're coming from, and also where you're coming from, and stop arguing about the simple point and try to have a conversation about the deeper thing. It's just really interesting when you start doing that, isn't it Like your relationships get better, you feel better, life gets better, better, all of it. It's just deeper, richer, warmer, happier.

Yeah, it's sun.

Yeah, it's sun.

It's that's everyone's got a different point of view and we're all built on different histories and you have to take that into consideration when you're talking to somebody, or you've got.

It's that's everyone's got a different point of view and we're all built on different histories and you have to take that into consideration when you're talking to somebody, or you've got.

To meet them where they are.

To meet them where they are.

Yeah, and that's something new that I learned, and I'm kind of glad as like has let me sort of release a lot of anger.

Yeah, and that's something new that I learned, and I'm kind of glad as like has let me sort of release a lot of anger.

Yeah, And I guess the last thing I'll end on because I know we got to go, but I just was thinking about it when you told you were saying the thing to me about social media and just how they that's what they want. We keep saying, they like whatever is running social media, all, yeah, just be conscious. Like That's what I'm starting to realize too, is I'm so unconsciously scrolling and taking in information, and I'm trying to be more in control of what I'm subconsciously taking in, So whether that's meditation or soundbaths or even sitting in the bathtub in silence, like trying to make sure that I'm doing those things for my nervous system and my brain to reset and not just letting someone else control me all the time. Like when you change the narrative in your brain to that that I'm giving my power away through these avenues, It's really interesting what it makes you want to do. So, whether you agree with what we said or not, maybe just take it into your life as some sort of new outlook of I'm going to be more conscious of what I'm taking in and what I'm digesting, what I'm giving energy to and see if that changes your outlook as well, because I'd be really curious if we all like limited what we're ingesting all the time, if our output would be different too.

Yeah, And I guess the last thing I'll end on because I know we got to go, but I just was thinking about it when you told you were saying the thing to me about social media and just how they that's what they want. We keep saying, they like whatever is running social media, all, yeah, just be conscious. Like That's what I'm starting to realize too, is I'm so unconsciously scrolling and taking in information, and I'm trying to be more in control of what I'm subconsciously taking in, So whether that's meditation or soundbaths or even sitting in the bathtub in silence, like trying to make sure that I'm doing those things for my nervous system and my brain to reset and not just letting someone else control me all the time. Like when you change the narrative in your brain to that that I'm giving my power away through these avenues, It's really interesting what it makes you want to do. So, whether you agree with what we said or not, maybe just take it into your life as some sort of new outlook of I'm going to be more conscious of what I'm taking in and what I'm digesting, what I'm giving energy to and see if that changes your outlook as well, because I'd be really curious if we all like limited what we're ingesting all the time, if our output would be different too.

My hot take is that like by twenty thirty we're not going to have social media. I just think it's that I think it's on the downslide. I think books are going to come back.

My hot take is that like by twenty thirty we're not going to have social media. I just think it's that I think it's on the downslide. I think books are going to come back.

Ooh.

Ooh.

I think books are going to be the new social media.

I think books are going to be the new social media.

Yeah, maybe an audiobook. Even there'll be new ways to do it. I told you about that palm reader, and Balie told me that even cell phones and stuff are going away. And I was like, I mean, she might have more been talking about social media, but like access, she said, like, we're not gonna want it. Yeah, I'm on board. Well, go check out this book. It's called Be the Sun.

Yeah, maybe an audiobook. Even there'll be new ways to do it. I told you about that palm reader, and Balie told me that even cell phones and stuff are going away. And I was like, I mean, she might have more been talking about social media, but like access, she said, like, we're not gonna want it. Yeah, I'm on board. Well, go check out this book. It's called Be the Sun.

Not the Salt.

Not the Salt.

I'll put the link in the description of this podcast. You can always email us at the Edge at velvet sedge dot com. I'm on Instagram at Velvet's Edge Chip.

I'll put the link in the description of this podcast. You can always email us at the Edge at velvet sedge dot com. I'm on Instagram at Velvet's Edge Chip.

I'm at Chip doors its ch I P D O R S C H.

I'm at Chip doors its ch I P D O R S C H.

And as you guys go into the weekend and you're living on the edge, I hope you always remember too.

And as you guys go into the weekend and you're living on the edge, I hope you always remember too.

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Start acting casual.

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Telesi, let's just act casual. Bye bye.

Telesi, let's just act casual. Bye bye.