Between political tension, social media, and constant bad news, it can feel like everyone is either fighting, shutting down, or both. But according to couples therapist and author Carolyn Sharp, there’s something deeper happening in the brain.

In this episode, Carolyn returns to talk about her new book Fire It Up: Four Secrets to Reigniting Intimacy and Joy in Your Relationships and her TEDx talk Connection = Survival. She breaks down the two powerful forces driving human behavior — survival and connection — and why so many of us are stuck in survival mode right now, reacting to disagreement as if our safety is being threatened.

Kelly and Carolyn unpack the loneliness epidemic, how social media creates the illusion of connection while leaving us more isolated, and why curiosity is one of the most radical tools we have in a divided world. If everything feels heavier lately — from relationships to online discourse to the state of the world — this conversation explains why… and what we can actually do about it.

Book: Fire It Up 

Find Carolyn on Instagram: @secureconnectionscoaching

Check out her website: CarolynSharp.com

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HOST: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com