Most of us have an idea of the person we would like to become - more confident, more successful, healthier, calmer, more disciplined. But where did that ideal come from? And is it actually ours? In this episode, we explore the psychology behind the real and ideal self, asking what happens when the person we are feels increasingly distant from the person we think we should be.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We explore:

• Where the idea of the real and ideal self comes from
• The role of congruence for self-esteem and well-being
• How conditions of worth can disconnect us from what we truly want
• The difference between Rogers’ real/ideal self and Winnicott’s true/false self
• How to differentiate your ideal from your ought self
• How to identify goals to reflect your own values

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Our favourite sources:
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jad.12111 
https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-295X.94.3.319 
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1740144518301396?via%3Dihub 

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.