Feeling jealous over our partners past can feel highly irrational, but its still a feeling many of us have and contributes to a lot of obsessive and unhealthy behaviours like stalking their exes, asking intrusive questions, starting arguments in hopes of getting the reassurance we need. In today's episode, we talk about the psychology of retroactive jealousy, including its origins and how to move past your jealous feelings. We will talk about: 
How past relationships and trauma create jealousy
Overthinking and anxiety 
Rejection sensitivity 
Self sabotage 
Interrupting mental compulsions 

Listen now! 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg 

Follow The Psychology of your 20s on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast 

Feeling jealous over our partners past can feel highly irrational, but its still a feeling many of us have and contributes to a lot of obsessive and unhealthy behaviours like stalking their exes, asking intrusive questions, starting arguments in hopes of getting the reassurance we need. In today's episode, we talk about the psychology of retroactive jealousy, including its origins and how to move past your jealous feelings. We will talk about: 
<ul>
<li>How past relationships and trauma create jealousy</li>
<li>Overthinking and anxiety </li>
<li>Rejection sensitivity </li>
<li>Self sabotage </li>
<li>Interrupting mental compulsions </li>
</ul>
Listen now! 
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg 
Follow The Psychology of your 20s on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Hosted by Jemma Sbeg, each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now. 

 

My book is out NOW: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean 

For business enquires please email psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

 

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Hosted by Jemma Sbeg, each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now.&nbsp;
&nbsp;
My book is out NOW: <a href="https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean">https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean</a>&nbsp;
For business enquires please email <a href="mailto:thepsychologyofyour20steam@unitedtalent.com">psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com</a>
&nbsp;

The Psychology of your 20s

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now. 

 

Buy my book, Person in Progress: https://www.amazon.com.au/Person-Progress-Roadmap-Psychology-Your/dp/1399823655 

For business enquires please email psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

 

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now.&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Buy my book, Person in Progress: <a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/Person-Progress-Roadmap-Psychology-Your/dp/1399823655">https://www.amazon.com.au/Person-Progress-Roadmap-Psychology-Your/dp/1399823655</a>&nbsp;
For business enquires please email <a href="mailto:thepsychologyofyour20steam@unitedtalent.com">psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com</a>
&nbsp;

174. Retroactive jealousy

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/c02ca621-9b54-4f69-bc66-b1250031c438/transcript

Why do we become obsessed with people who don't want us back? Even when we know it will never work? Even when we know there's no convincing them? In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind unrequited love, limerence, longing, and the irresistible pull of unavailable people, including:
The neuroscience of craving, attraction, and obsession
How intermittent reinforcement keeps us emotionally hooked
Jacques Lacan's "object of desire" theory
Why high achievers often struggle with unrequited love
The role of limerence, fantasy, and idealisation
The Zeigarnik Effect and our need for closure
Practical strategies to finally move on and let go
Creating your own closure when none is given
Plus so so much more 

If you've ever found yourself unable to stop thinking about someone who doesn't feel the same way, this episode is for you. Together, we'll explore why it happens, what it reveals about us, and how to break free from the cycle

Watch on Netflix: HERE

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

Why do we become obsessed with people who don't want us back? Even when we know it will never work? Even when we know there's no convincing them?&nbsp;In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind unrequited love, limerence, longing, and the irresistible pull of unavailable people, including:
<ul>
<li>The neuroscience of craving, attraction, and obsession</li>
<li>How intermittent reinforcement keeps us emotionally hooked</li>
<li>Jacques Lacan's "object of desire" theory</li>
<li>Why high achievers often struggle with unrequited love</li>
<li>The role of limerence, fantasy, and idealisation</li>
<li>The Zeigarnik Effect and our need for closure</li>
<li>Practical strategies to finally move on and let go</li>
<li>Creating your own closure when none is given</li>
<li>Plus so so much more&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
If you've ever found yourself unable to stop thinking about someone who doesn't feel the same way, this episode is for you. Together, we'll explore why it happens, what it reveals about us, and how to break free from the cycle
Watch on Netflix: <a href="https://netflix.com/thepsychologyofyour20s">HERE</a>
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/jemmasbeg/?hl=en#">jemmasbeg</a>
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en#">thatpsychologypodcast</a>
Subscribe on Substack: @<a href="https://substack.com/@thepsychologyofyour20s">thepsychologyofyour20s</a>
For business: <a href="mailto:psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com">psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com</a>
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

425. Why we want people who don't want us back 

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/013b264c-f19b-4bd0-9453-b45f0074131d/transcript

We all have something about our behaviour or our lives we really want to change. But every time we go to try, we find we lose motivation very quickly and end up back where we started with the behaviour still in tact. Whether it's quitting smoking, exercising more, wanting to eat healthier, sleep better, stop gossiping, be a better partner; bad habits usually all have the same psychology. 

In today's episode we invited on Harvard-trained behavioural scientist & BCG Managing Director, Julia Dhar, to give us the step by step guide to changing bad habits. We talk about: 
Where bad habits come from? 
Why bad habits stick?
What's happening in our brain when we can't quit a bad habit?
The 3 principles of behaviour change you need to know to change 
How to help OTHERS change when they don't want to?
Why your approach to failing will determine if you're successful 
Plus much more! 

Happy listening! 

Buy Julia's book here: How Change Really Works

Watch her TedTalk here: How to Disagree Productively 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com 

 

We all have something about our behaviour or our lives we really want to change. But every time we go to try, we find we lose motivation very quickly and end up back where we started with the behaviour still in tact. Whether it's quitting smoking, exercising more, wanting to eat healthier, sleep better, stop gossiping, be a better partner; bad habits usually all have the same psychology.&nbsp;
In today's episode we invited on Harvard-trained behavioural scientist &amp; BCG Managing Director, Julia Dhar, to give us the step by step guide to changing bad habits. We talk about:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li>Where bad habits come from?&nbsp;</li>
<li>Why bad habits stick?</li>
<li>What's happening in our brain when we can't quit a bad habit?</li>
<li>The 3 principles of behaviour change you need to know to change&nbsp;</li>
<li>How to help OTHERS change when they don't want to?</li>
<li>Why your approach to failing will determine if you're successful&nbsp;</li>
<li>Plus much more!&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
Happy listening!&nbsp;
Buy Julia's book here: <a href="https://www.bcg.com/capabilities/people-strategy/how-change-really-works">How Change Really Works</a>
Watch her TedTalk here: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phgjouv0BUA">How to Disagree Productively</a>&nbsp;
Watch on Netflix: <a href="https://netflix.com/thepsychologyofyour20s">HERE</a>
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/jemmasbeg/?hl=en#">jemmasbeg</a>
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en#">thatpsychologypodcast</a>
Subscribe on Substack: @<a href="https://substack.com/@thepsychologyofyour20s">thepsychologyofyour20s</a>
For business: <a href="mailto:psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com">psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com</a>&nbsp;
&nbsp;

424. How to ACTUALLY change your bad habits ft. Harvard Behavioural Scientist, Julia Dhar

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/25683b60-8526-4520-9a98-b459005ae00e/transcript

Your hobbies may be just as important as your friendships in your 20s. But whilst you may dedicate 10-15 hours a week to your friends, most of us can go a week or two without actually performing our hobbies. Why is that, and what is the consequence?In today's episode we break down the psychology of why our hobbies are so important, including: 
The debate around what makes a hobby 
How many hobbies do you actually need? 
How much time should you spend doing your hobbies? 
The Rule of Four for hobbies
The psychological benefits 
The 3 major reasons we struggle to perform our hobbies
How to find time, inspiration and motivation for your hobbies, and more

Listen now if you want to make more of your leisure time! 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com 

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

Your hobbies may be just as important as your friendships in your 20s. But whilst you may dedicate 10-15 hours a week to your friends, most of us can go a week or two without actually performing our hobbies. Why is that, and what is the consequence?In today's episode we break down the psychology of why our hobbies are so important, including:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li>The debate around what makes a hobby&nbsp;</li>
<li>How many hobbies do you actually need?&nbsp;</li>
<li>How much time should you spend doing your hobbies?&nbsp;</li>
<li>The Rule of Four for hobbies</li>
<li>The psychological benefits&nbsp;</li>
<li>The 3 major reasons we struggle to perform our hobbies</li>
<li>How to find time, inspiration and motivation for your hobbies, and more</li>
</ul>
Listen now if you want to make more of your leisure time!&nbsp;
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/jemmasbeg/?hl=en#">jemmasbeg</a>
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en#">thatpsychologypodcast</a>
For business: <a href="mailto:psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com">psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com</a>&nbsp;
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

423. You need more hobbies...here's how you do it 

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/6693e179-f353-45b4-a381-b45701026f32/transcript

174. Retroactive jealousy

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