This is the Pete and Sebastian Show with Pete curraeley A Sebastian menascalpo best get It's Jimmy from Boston. A drinking cast. That is a great idea, but only if you two featherweights. Don't let that ship turn into an hour long game a bro Guy ping pong, Bro Guy, Bro guy. Sure you'll throw in a question about the popa bone out the Brad Pitt, But for the other fifty eight minutes, nothing but got fo Uh. Pete and Sebastian Show, Corona Edition. We all back. How are you doing on the other end? Bro? I talked to you before the show, so I know you don't have it. How's everything going? Uh? It's good. Uh. Let me ask you something. And I don't know if you have it or you don't. And I'm not talking about Corona. Do you have a beverage? I do? I absolutely do. I was waiting to start. Oh there we go. Do you? I am halfway done with a President Day from the from the Alex Rodriguez Leftovers. I God, that's right. Um, what is the President Day? It's a beer? Oh it is, Yeah, it's a beer from the Dominican Republic. I think Alex Rodriguez is somehow involved in the brand, and it's an Anheuser Busch product. Uh. And I gotta tell you, I'm not generally a beer gay, but I I gotta tell you, this is a nice, smooth beer. Nice. Um, I gotta try one of those. Did you drink those? When you did the Instagram interview with a rod And I see that j Lo joined it too. I did. I had one um as we did the interview. Interview lasted about twenty four minutes long. If you haven't seen it, it's up on my Facebook and Instagram page. I was shocked, to say the least, when j Lo popped her head into the screen. Uh. I gotta tell you. She came on and she's fifty and I don't know what she's using, but send me a bottle. This woman looks to two years old. She she absolutely looks way way younger. So yeah, it was cool. It was a cool little interview. Um. I did ask the question about the pope to him and her or just him, just him. At the end of the interview, I said, listen, I have a question. I do a podcast with Pete Corioli called The Pete Sebastian show, and we had a question and d J Hank if if you can slice this in right here, who would be able to get the Pope on the phone sooner? You or j Lo? Yeah, by the way, that's such an easy one. Not me, I'll tell you that. Not me. But here's the here's the real answer. I would say, Hello, this is a rod I'm calling on behalf of j lokin I find the Pope. We'll be right with you. He says, uh, that's no question, and then he goes, you know, he said his wife and he goes. Although I'd probably call and say I have j Lo on the line for the Pope, you'd say, I'm Alex Rodriguez, I have l on the Does he think that j Loo could get the pope? Absolutely totally ship through? Could you imagine living in that world? No, I really can't. It's h I mean, arguably practically now arguably the best, one of the best baseball players ever. Would you agree? I mean, I'm not a baseball guy. But what do we say in top ten, top twenty? What what what do we top ten? Easy? Top ten? Okay, well, I mean, as long as we're on it, we're not a big sports guy. But who do you say, best baseball player ever? Well, for me, uh my favorite Degy Holish ship dude Jata. But the best I ever saw Barry Bonds, Royds and no Royd's. That guy was playing whiffle ball and everybody else was playing baseball. Yeah, I mean like the Bonds, the mcguires, the Sosas. That was the steroid era. So there's a big debate on whether you're not you could you know, count their skill sets as legitimate based on the fact that they used. All I care about is hitting, all right, I mean all that you know, a great catch in a great field or yeah that's great, that's all part of the game. But at the end of the day, you want someone who is a hitting machine. And when Barry Bonds was up, You're like, this guy is either gonna walk or he's gonna hit it into the fucking bay. Holy shit. I mean, you know, you know what they were all doing, Royd's, So it just tells me that he still would have been the best. The cheers criminals. Bro. I just want to go out of the gate and say I spent the whole day past two days raking my yard, like getting all the dead grass out and everybody. Does anybody know what the fox six feet is? Are you kidding me? I meet people just strolling by two ft away. I turned around there right behind me. Holy sh it, just spreading the corona all over for Dounia. I've never been so embarrassed by by my town. If I don't have it by and within three days, I'll be shocked. Broa well, I mean if people are coming within two three ft of you. I mean, this is how weird it gets when Lana and I take our walks by the way. If we did not have this quarantine, I don't think we would know half of the neighborhood. We've met the whole neighborhood during the quarantine. If this quarantine wasn't happening, there's no way we we meet everybody. Everybody's friendly. We're walking around, people are saying hi, They're stopping, and when they stop, it's weird. It's like, I also feel like if I'm six ft away from somebody that at I have a limited amount of time to talk with them. Like I feel like if I I talk with them too long, I might get it even though I'm six ft away, And then I gotta keep moving because I feel, for for some reason, if I continue the conversation, I'm gonna just pick it up because they're gonna come out next week going. If you're talking to somebody for more than two minutes six ft away, you're gonna get it. You're right, it's a it's a six ft away on a brisk walk by. If you're gonna chit chat, it's got to be a solid absolutely know you're doing the right thing. Bro. I'm at the point now though, because I know what you're saying around my neighborhood. It was a beautiful day. I'm breaking the leaves. Everyone's out chat. I'm at the point. I'm not even I'm not even talking to anybody else. I don't even someone says high give a nod. I'm like, if you didn't know me and you walk by, you think the guy who lived at my house was an asshole. That's what I'm at. That's it's it's because that's where we're at now. Man friendliness, it's all. It's just it's time to buck up. This next two weeks. We need that curve to go back down. So everybody just no, no nothing, man, don't chit chat and no nothing, lock it up, get up, everybody. Everybody is on edge right now. And I was telling line of this to the other night. He said, you know what, why, you know, why does it have to be so dire? Can't on Monday Trump come out and listen, good news everybody. Hey, the guys working on this over the week and found the cure. Go down to your local pediatrician or your local doctor, get the test done. And we also got a drug. If you have, they're gonna give everything. Why can't some of that news come out? I'm sick looking at the states, the red who's got a hot center, who's got this? Let's start tomorrow Monday with hey, guys, curves going down looking good? Why where is that news? I'm waiting, That's what I'm waiting for. Two. I want the third to be so sudden that the government says, listen, this thing. We bounced back so quick that even though we could start the economy tomorrow, let's all just take another week off. We already did that. We already did the stimulus, so we got we could, we could play one more week. Let's just have fun. Don't any where about coming about you. Let me tell you a story. My cousin has the same name as I have, Sebastian Maniscalco. We are both named after my grandfather. Okay, this must be your dad's brother's dad's brother, dad's brother's son, all right, our whole life. Sometimes we've been mistaken for one another. I give you an example. I went to a nightclub in Chicago when I was about nineteen or twenty years old. It was called the Big Cahuna Big Burg. That's that how Wienburger joined. I had a fake I d I was there my cousins three years older than I am. A woman came up to me and said, are you Sebastian Mascot? I said, yes, she does, you fucking asshole. You call my sister back, all right, because she's been waiting for your friend. I'm like, who's your sister. She's like Angela, and I'm like, I don't even know an Angela. Well, it turns out my cousin that was my cousin. Okay, so we've we've sometimes been mistaken for each other just because of the same name. Now, as my career progressively got um more and more popular, I uh. He lives in Chicago and he would call up and make a reservation. Sebastia manascalco. Well, now is he also your cousin? Much like you? Very proud and uses the full name all the time. Never said he goes by Seby. Okay, I like Sevy you you you are Sebastian. You made that very clear for some of your new listeners Averse met Sebashian said, yeah, no, it's Abash. Yeah, so, but I think he uses the full name when he's doing anything anything like a reservation or an appointment or what have you. So often sometimes they think it's me coming in and it's him. Sebastians are the latest of this mistaken identity. My cousin was a candidate for a knee replacement. He had said that he had hurt his knee on the job and he needed a knee replacement, and the insurance was going through an investigation on whether or not they were going to cover the surgery. Okay, m h uh. They take him in an office, the doctor does, and they sit him down and said, we we have a little problem. And my cousin's like, what's the problem, because it was taking a while for this to be confirmed for him to get the surgery, and they opened up a file and they take out three or four different photos of me in the air doing a lot of physical activity. And the doctor says, um, how are you uh needing a knee surgery when you continue to do this on the job that my cousin goes. My cousin goes, that's not it's not me, it's my cousin. It doesn't even look like me. He goes, Ah, you know, I was gonna say you gain weight, you know, from these photos? So I didn't actually know. Then the nurse walks in. The nurse says, we got the wrong guy, and they they thought me me never mind keep going. Sevy was trying to get a knee replacement, but I was still doing activity. They went as far as to hire a private investigator to follow me around town, and they got like pictures of me picking up my daughter at the park, running around. Fuck, what the what? You've been followed and you didn't even know it. That's my question. Would you know if you were being followed? Oh? Oh my god, bro, how violated do you feel? I can't even answer that question is did you feel like I felt disappointed in myself that I did not know there was a van parked at the at the at the park, I take my daughter and was snapping photos like I was John Gotti, You're whole thing You're hold Masada is. I'm always away. I see everything. Nothing goes on and I don't see I catch things at people though, I mean, well, some guy's got a whole fucking photo album. A week in the life of Sepecial usually goes and pick some some goat cheese. At about three pm. Holy So, I asked my isn't did you ask to see the photos? He said no, they couldn't release that information because it was a private investigation. But he said they had photos of you doing things in your daily life that would suggest that you didn't need any replacement. Did you let them in the house? Wall Rent, wall Rent? How do you say the fucking polish? Oh? Wow, man, I mean it's so so. They probably got you doing what obviously in the park. Do you do some running by yourself? I have rant run outside. I don't exactly know when they were taking these photos of me or what the time period was, but yeah, that would suggest that, you know, I don't know. I don't know lifting luggage. I don't know what they got. I don't know. Well have you have you had more and more um here and there paparazzi, you know, not the whole thing, with the whole army of people. No, no, I I don't get paparazzi. Not even if you would like if you went to the ivy to have lunch, uh, you know, after the virus, and we don't think you'd probably get you a photo taken there like someone maybe from a distance with the lens. No, no, not even when you go away, paparazzi is there, not even shooting you? You don't think, No, I know they're not. I mean I've I've gone to a couple of restaurants within the last three or four months where there's paparazzi hanging outside the restaurant and uh, get out, you pull up and and all right, let's go walk in. And I gotta tell you when they just look at you and nod, I turned a lot and when we get in a restaurant and go not then now, not one flash which makes you know you know, I mean just I wouldn't you even take one? Just in case you died of a heart attack later that night? O, man, my back is started to kill me due. I'm afraid it's gonna go out on me at any given moment here. Holy sh it, well with the with the hip, no, my no, just from raking all day long. I'm really worried now about my back. I can't make it not hurt right now. I'm afraid it's gonna go out on me. Oh, I think we should just scrap this thing. Can you even hear me? Dude? Yeah? All right, I'm sucking down the side. Yeah, I agree with everything you're saying. We got to pick this back up because that's pretty insane that there's a guy in a van taking photos of you when you don't know, of all people, what a violation. Oh god, alright, well we'll pick it back up on Tuesday. All right, man, I'll catch you. But oh h oh, jack, h jack. I was supposing I fall down and right myself. I have some kind of an emergency and can't get to the phone. What I've call I just press this button and belly and my signal and Sunday help right away and call right now to receive re information by mail. The Pete and Sebastian Show, It's a beautiful, beating Sebastian Show. Corona Special Edition. We'll back, bro. Do you got it? Bro, Let's talk about what you're doing right now. I've never seen anything like it. Yeah, man, it's let me. I'm gonna walk the lists for a real quick with you two. Um. We went to cast on Sunday. I was raking leaves all day and then I honestly forgot were casting that day, which is crazy because I love casting folks, you know that. So then Sebastian calls and said, tells me a quick story, crazy story, and then we get on to cast and we're a little off. We had our drinks. My back was killing me when I was raking the leaves, and Jackie kept saying, watch you back, he should stop, don't try to do it all in a day. And then even a neighbor came by He's like, i'd watch you back. I'm like, I gotta guys. So I finished the leaves. I was hurting, but I was okay. Then I started doing the show with you, and my back just starts going out on me and out on me, and by the end, so after I got off the phone with you, I literally collapsed out of the chair in my office onto the floor of my office, that little skinny room that you know of. I called Jackie on my cell phone. She's upstairs and she comes down. She's like, what do you want me to do? And I'm like, well this, I can't. I can't move. There's not much I can do here, so um so she was like, all right, what she's been through to something before? In a nutshell, bro, When I got off the phone with you, I laid on the floor where I was on the phone with you for thirty six hours. Thirty six hours in one place, and then I've been in the same place since I got off the phone with you, except last night. I finally got some percosets from my doctor because I couldn't even go to the doctor right. So I called my doctor and I'm like, I need a muscle relaxing because you know, they don't like to give out pain killers. So they give me a muscle relax and Jackie goes to the store to buy me the muscle relaxing, to the to the pharmacy whatever with those things they do shit. So so then and I can't even smoke weed because if I cough, I can't take it. The pain in my back is through the roof man right. So I'm laying there and then finally I called back yesterday and I say, listen to the to the nurse, I go if he If he doesn't give me a pain killer right now, I'm going to get an ambulance and go to hospital. And I don't want corona, all right, So what can you do? So she calls him back and says he's gonna get you some some percosets, some cody whatever it is, you know, great pain killer. So Jackie goes and picks that up yesterday and that makes the pain go away just enough that I could crawl on all fours from this room where dude, I was sleeping on the floor. The first night was the worst night of my life. If I had a gun and I didn't have a wife and kid, I fucking would have shot myself. I'm not even kid. I was dying, gro dying. So I I get up, I get to the stairs, and I'm climbing up the stairs one by one. It takes me about thirty minutes to get from my office up the stairs, and then I can get to the edge of my bed and on the count of three, Sadie and Jackie have to take my legs and roll me up onto the bed, like give us see my six hundred pound life when they roll those fat fuckers onto onto the palette to take him to the hospital. Yeah, so so they got me on the bed and that was last night, and then today I was in the bed until two. I'm like the old man and Willy Wonka, the those old people. And then mean you were gonna cast So I crawled down that back down the stairs as soon as I got a phone with you. That's how much time I needed. I crawled down the stairs into this room, got what I needed. And jack I can't even explain Jackie how great she's been, just so dude. She had to bathe me last night. Oh god, bro, dude, it is so emasculating. I don't ever want to be eighty five and have that. I mean, like a sponge. What would she have like a sponge? She had a loofa sponge. And we got a downstairs showered at we never use. That's not hard to climb into. It's not a tub. So I climbed into that, crawled on all fours and she turns the water on on me like like a farm animal, and I'm I'm on all fours. I cannot move and she's rubbing the loofah up in my ass. Crackh o god, bro, that's and the whole time, I'm just sitting there going thank you, thank you so much, thank you. I'm so sorry, because she was also pissed because I didn't stop breaking those leaves when she told me to. Then, I mean, dude, she has to dress me, put everything back on me. Then I then I that them that when I crawled into the bed, and then now today. Oh, by the way, I haven't pissed in a toilet bowl since we got off the phone. Let's cast. I got an old glass bowl and whenever it's filled, it's so embarrassing. I gotta go, Jack. I needed to empty the ball. Wait wait wait, wait bro, Yeah, you're pissing into like a mixing ball that you would use for like a cake or something, an old glass salad bullet. You don't use anything. How are you shipping in the ball? Too? Crazy enough, dude, I haven't had to. I I took one dump in the morning, like um, because when I got full, you and I collapsed. I uh, I was able to get the next morning crawl over to the bowl and I got up on it, and I think I was crying. I was screaming, but I went a little bit and then I came down. And then when I got the codine, it makes you constipated. So I basically haven't taken a ship two and a half days. Yeah, so is this is this lower back? Lower back all related to the hip. So it's you know, I'm getting a hip surgery May twelve. I don't give a shit about anything. I don't even care if the doctor who operates on me has corona. I'm still letting them operate on me. So does this eventually go away? I said, you had this in the past, and what like one day all of a sudden that it cures up and you're walking around. No, it's always the same thing. It's a slow, slow heal. So like by tomorrow I'll be able to uh barely get up with a cane and then I'm hoping by like it usually takes two weeks to be totally normal again, but it takes about five days till I can walk to I can walk. Wow, this is unheard of, bro. But the cast must go on. I'm in no pain now and I'm ready to rock and roll, dude, what are we doing? What's going on? Man? This is insane? I got I even got my pee bow. He you, I already used it once though. I hate when it when she I like it better when she changes it after every piss. Sometimes sometimes she waits two or three times, and I'm like, I tell you, if you were a real nurse, I think i'd fire you. So you got you got to three pisces built up in the ball with the salad ball right now. I only got one right before we started. I did that. I gotta tell you, though, I don't know about you, but I paid two three times in a night, A little less because it is I couldn't even drink coffee yesterday. But I gotta tell you, man, I kind of like just rolling over putting a tippy penis into a glass salad ball, and then I put the salad bawl right on the on the dress, right next to me. Funny long clock. Oh god, it's great. I was playing cards with Sadie this morning and she didn't even know I was pissing while we were playing that. Yeah on bro oh ship, that hurt my back ship. You're playing kinds with your daughter and you're pissing in the salad bowl at the same time. Yeah, because I got the quilt over me. And then at one point she went to shuffle and I do a slight rollover, and I got my penis in the bowl and I go, hold on, Daddy just gotta check his phone. But I'm not gonna looking at my phone. I'm peeing in the bowl. But then once the peak covers the bottom surface of a bowl, then it's like when it hits the glass, it's quiet, but once the bottom of the pole is coming, it starts making that pouring. Knowing she's like, what are you doing that? Like, I'm not. I'm just sipping my coffee and just my coffee. Oh oh ship, I know even when she's on her jackie. They went for a biker yesterday when and when she was coming back a coulter and I go, listen, come into the room by yourself. I don't even want my daughter to see this right now, because the bowl was filled, I was half dressed. I tried to change and I couldn't finish the job. Oh man, fucking nightmare. Oh man, there's this. You're reaching new heights over there. I've never heard anything like it. I don't even think people in their eighties do this pissing in salad bowls. Well, I mean you can't. If you can't get up, you can't get up. And I'm talking to the lady. It's amazing how they don't want to give out painkillers unless they at least get to see you. And I'm like, Lady, I can't. If I could get in there to see the doctor, I wouldn't need the painkillers. I'm on my back in the same spot for thirty six hours. Give me the coding man? What the fuck? What? So? Anyway? Feeling good now? Too exsit to be doing this? Um, what's going on here? Nothing? Bro? This has been Uh, you know, it's funny. Talking to my dad on face time, was like, what's up? It says groundhogs Days? Like God, I didn't know that, Like he doesn't know the sayings of like you know, groundhogs Day is the same day over and over. He's he actually thought it was groundhogs Day. You know what I'm saying, hold on, I can't. I can't have to hold on ship. It's gonna be a long cast. Yeah. I think I'm just gonna say hilarious when I think something's funny. How did your dad, as a as a hat dresser not know to term groundhog day? I mean he's doing more conversation in a day to most people. Yeah, well, you know, I just don't think sometimes it gets around to the first generation or I'm sorry immigrants that came here to the United States, you know, especially when my dad came he was fifteen years old. I think he missed out on a lot of Americana and the sayings that we use. Yeah, does he watch a lot of movies? See that movies at all? Yeah, here and there, But it's not like huge movie buff But yeah, it's the same thing. Man. It's uh, it's rainy. It's fifty eight degrees here in l A. I mean, you go on quarantine. You live in the best climate in the world, and you would think it's been Seattle the last month up here, rainy, no sun, even blue. I know, it's crazy, man, And every time you turn on the news, everybody knows sometimes the same what people know. It just it freaks out. You get the pressed, you know it's it's and then I'm when I was raking my leaves, dude, I was trying to tell you the other day on the cast. Not only do I do a six ft rule, I don't even talk to anybody anymore. That's where I'm at. I don't even say hello anymore. It's like it's we're all on our own here. But people will break in the six foot rule left and right. I'm I have my back to them when I'm breaking and I turned around. And then roller skating buy me on rollerblades. They're on bicycles, a walking giving out big hello. I mean, what, what the fuck? Everybody's all of a sudden nice. I think everybody wants to get back out into the world so they could be angry at people again speaking angry, I'm meant to ask you when, like when Trump talks to other countries, So when any when any president, whoever it may be, talks to the president of another country. And I know a lot of times I have an interpreter. I get that, But do you think it's always really formal? Like what do you think, like do you think that one president is ever hung up on another one? Like? Fuck you? You know? Well, like like if I was president, I called China, what's the guy's name? X X? I I think I think it is holy shan't so however that's pronounced, I'd be like, what the funk are you guys doing over there? Why aren't you giving us the stats? Why are you keeping that ship you self? Man? What? What the fund is wrong with you? What do you have to go? Um? Hello? President? Is he just checking in on your inn to see how it's being handled? And like, do you think they ever get casual? And like I think Trump definitely is swearing his head off and throwing the phone across the room. Wouldn't it be nice to hang up on Putin? Can you imagine you's hanging up a boot even be like that? Did you just hang up on me? That motherfucker? No com? No com? That's wonder if a war has ever started from a hang up? That's a good question, or just a yeah, two people arguing to presidents the war started just from me hating you? Yeah? Down, take that, Ronald Reagan? I don't know, I don't know where this is going. It's Tuesday here, Oh god, it's a three thirty. We got a a zoom say their dinner? What it is that? A Jewish holiday? What is it? Oh? My god? And you guys are gonna do zoom and have dinner together on the zoom. Yeah, that's like crazy. You're you're gonna time it so that you've taken your food? Is everyone gonna eat the same food? I don't know, man, I just know that here I gotta, I gotta, I gotta text. I think it was was it a text? Here? It is here? It is here, it is. Anyone who's joining for our virtual sayre tonight at six thirty eastern, please print out our ten minute hug at the I think that's a like a prayer sheet. Oh ship, I'm I got my fingers crossed that this thing. Well, now we'll go through Sunday at least, just so I don't have to go to East Sunday Mass. That ship so long it's ridiculous. And now you're doing it over the So someone's gonna read that, like that's the part the priest reads, the rabbi reads. Yeah, it's like, welcome to all who have joined us this evening for our Sadr. We are so great. I don't believe it's insane. You know, Listen, I grew up Catholic. I get tradition. I get it, you know, but let's update the you know, the whole religion thing, you know, like I'm not into like reading, you know, an it would never be in a How different is the night from all the other nights? My niece? And then they're going to listen. Yeah, with the internet, and then I'm talking everything, I'm talking even you know, um, you know, and even in the Catholic Church, it's like update the stuff already, get the get you know, like the pope okay with the pomp in the circumstance. I want a pope that comes out in armandy suit to do the mass. Oh man, that would bring the people back, baby, absolutely. Can you maybe even take that did you just sneeze? By the way, hi, hi pollen count in the air here in California, Hi pollen count. Yes, I would go out in public and do that same sneeze and see how that pollen count comment goes over. So I even think that what if the priest not only that he's got the shades on, and when he comes up to the podium, he takes the shades off, put him in the front pocket, inside pocket of the suit. Oh man, oh god, that would be mean. Come on, if if your priest was gonna wear a different suit every every Sunday once you go, wo't you go to Masters to check out the wardrobe? Absolutely? Man, By the way, I can honestly say, I don't think I've ever seen a good looking priest, Like, right, have you ever seen a priest? If you were a woman, you go, oh, man, if he ever decided to stop doing that ship, I would ben him in a hot beat. So but you're not even Jewish, So like would would anyone, including Lana be offended if you tapped out on the zoom saber? It's a saber and uh, I've been tapping out on zooms the whole quarantine. So it's like, I gotta go to the zoom zoom because it's like a holiday. You know, it's my wife and she's Jewish, so I gotta respect that. Oh yeah, alright, but you don't. You're gonna sit through the ceremony aspect of it. It's ten minutes, ten minutes and church show was really like it is it is ten minutes. Is It is a long time. But yeah, we're gonna be doing that today at three. I gotta get back to work. I'm losing you. I can tell I'm losing you. I hear you, bro. You gotta get do you. I was even gonna run something by it. Man, Let's um you are you gonna remember when I laughed about doing a virtual comedy show? Yeah, I think we should do one. This ship has never started back up. Man. If the curve don't flatten out soon, I don't know. Man, I'll open for you online. I will. Like everybody settled down in their rooms. It's been good now, yeah, let's do it. I mean, this is insanity. I know it's it's gotta end soon. I gotta get up on stage. Man, it's it's killing me. I don't know. I don't even know what to talk about right now, so I don't either. That's what. I don't even know where to go with this. I'm sitting here and I gotta be honest with you. I saw that you were laying down. I started the cast and I was laying down. But just to lay down, just to lay down. This is hilarious. We told the listeners tune into the next cast. We're gonna be drinking together. Now we're basically in a bed together like Yoko Ono and John Lennon's terrible Oh my god, is this terrible? Bron What do well let's focus on the little things. Here's a basic let's start with the little things again. Um, I've been watching Trump and I need I need a hard answer on the I situation. Why is the I area so much whiter? Is that literally from wearing a mask while he's tanning? Oh? I don't so. I haven't watched TV this whole time, not one Trump speech. Have I watched? What looks like? Or what? What? What is? What is? He got white eyes? Yeah, the whole area and the eyes is white and everything else isn't. So it looks like a tan job. But wouldn't the president have the best tan job instead? He's got a tan job that someone might have an Hoboken New Jersey some dude. Yeah, he looks like he's doing like a like a trial solution or something. I don't know what he's doing. I mean you would think he would have an airbrusher in there making him a look a little darker. I I just don't understand the coloring. You put it best between his tanning and his hair. It looks like he does it all himself. Yeah, it looks like he he uses some type of tan pal or something and doesn't get all the area yeah, I'm at your job. I don't get it. You would think from the president he'd have the best job ever. Is he the first president to Selfdan? What's that? Is he the first president to self tan? Oh that's a good question, man. I don't remember any other president looking the stand. I do remember Kennedy in the summertimes sometimes looking looking real sporty with the tan from all of these days at Hyannisport. Yeah, but that's because he's outside. I'm talking. Trump's to an artificial planning. Yeah, yeah, no, No nobody else has ever done that. Thank you, Thank you very much. Forget it. The world is coming to an Enbro, and you're cleaning your driveway. So the alien's got a nice place to land the ship, by the way, I did that the other day, and I got It's just there's at peace out there, just at peace. I I gotta apologize, Bro, I think I lost my sense of humor. Come on, oh ship, trust me now now you'll never lose I even said to Jackie, I go, man, if this was almost any other comedian, I would have no problem doing this cast right now. But this motherfucker makes me laugh every single time I talked to him, So I may be spasm it out here. That is impossible. Trust me. That's like Barber Streisan coming in with a graspy baritone voice saying I can't say anymore. I don't know, bro, I'm just sitting here like trying to find out where to go with this, and I'm coming up with roadblocks. I think that's that story I told you on Sunday. I think that really like pales. Everything else pales in comparison to it. You couldn't follow the story told but about it's a personal story. You want to go play pickle ball up at Leonardo DiCaprio's house. A holy but I gotta tell you, I'm trying to come up with like a story that trumps that, and right now I don't have it. So I got a list of questions from people. If you want to do it, yeah, let's do that. Let's do that all right, here we go. So I had reached out to some of the listeners and they were here. One one guy asks, I don't listen, guys, I I don't have the names and stuff. You know who you are if you asked it, is it bouncy to use face lotion for a man? Uh? Do you have more or less action with the wife, door and the virus. He has three questions, and if you could both see one living comedian, who would it be. Um. Face lotion is a is a must. I use it every day. Yeah, I mean I even I use face lotion from time to time, not as much as I should. But yeah, bro, come on, don't have a feel bouncy about using some face lotion. You don't want to look like Tommy Lee Jones at twenty years old. Yeah, Tommy Lee Jones. You ever seen his face? I don't. His face looks like he has never been indoors in his entire life. Yeah, there's a lot of a lot of damage there. But webvid manly look like you look at Tommy Lee Jones's face and you're like, that guy could kick the ship out of me. Of course. I mean, Brad Pitt will never have a face that looks like Tommy Lee Jones. Right, Oh yeah, no, never. You're absolutely right about that. Uh. As far as getting on with the wife, I'd have to say that that has uh not been as abundant um here due to the fact that I think we're both things said at the end of the day, Yeah, I hear you. The closest I've come to sex with my wife is when she watched them my crack with the lufus fun. Oh god? And then what do you ask? What was the last one? If you could see one living comedian, It's hard to say living, you know, because we could kind of see anyone. We probably have, but maybe of all time, if there's one comedian you could have seen that you've never seen perform, I I guess, uh, Richard Pryor, I guess, yeah, I guess Don Rickles. I saw him perform? You did, I get? I should say Don Rickles. I never saw him perform. But when he was younger, Don Rickles, I saw it to start us to tell in Las Vegas, and I got to meet him after the show. He came out. He actually showered in his dressing room after the show and was sitting there freshly. They showered in like a different outfit, and I thought that was so cool that he went on stage performing in a tuxedo and it just took a shower. Have you ever done that? No? I think we talked about that because I think when Rickles die, you broke that up. I've never done that that I've never needed to do that, how about you. I've never taken a shower in the venue. No, but he's the guy that uses the towels and the soap when they when you go to the venue and then there's a shower there. This is the guy that must use all that stuff. And he came out he looked fresh. And I always told myself, Man, I want to try that after I do a show. But I'm like, after do a show, the funk out here, you know, yeah, all right, you feel like they're putting away to chairs and they go, what's is that something noise back then? And they're like, yeah, he's sucking showering. Well that's what they told me when I went backstage, or like, I'm sorry, you just have to wait here. He's he's showering. I'm like, oh wow, but you're laughing at you get a horse and live in the mountain someplace, and don't bother anybody. Got a person like a dead mor you got it's right, I forgot. You got to meet him ship. That's awesome. Yeah, that was nice. He was very very nice guy. Um. I mean that's the last of of that era. I mean, who who's alive from the from the rat pack era. This was the last guy, wasn't he pretty much? I don't even know if he was a part of that. He was like not even really a part of them. But all right, I listen, I'm looking over these questions this let's see, that's not a bunch, but this one's kind of interesting. Oh yeah, bro, I'm glad I found this one. I meant to tell you about this. We need to There's a guy. He's gonna bug out when I say his name right now, I'm gonna butcher it. But it's Andrew, miss la Jovski. His wife's name is Leah, and she sent me a message saying, can you and subash and give a shout out to my husband on the cast. He's been working constantly during the virus to make bread for the people in our city, and he's giving away free loaves of bread to families that aren't working. Who loves you, guys, and what mean the world to him? Bro douran the virus as a man out there banging out loaves of bread and handing him out to the townspeople for free. Come on, get that man a cape. Oh wow, what a guy? Yeah, what a guy. Just cranking out loaves and giving him away for nothing. I mean, it's guys like that where you know you just gotta tip your hat absolutely. I mean, come on, I'd rather have a nice, warm, homemade loaf of bread from this guy that a ventilator keep your ventilated. I'll just take the sniffet of bread will keep me alive, baby. So there you go, Leah. That goes out to your husband Andrew. Um. I just unfortunately don't know if the show is ever even gonna make it the air. Did I hear a door open in the background, or did you just fall down some stairs? That was Sadie. She came in and grabbed something, but she didn't even try to get on the show because she knows how fucking bad it's going. She probably came in it's all bowl and ran out. Oh I do that went to the side of me. That's another thing when when you when you can't move around and you're on your own like this, you and you gotta ask someone for constant help, it starts to expose everything about you that, like you know, you don't want them to know. Like, for example, I'm telling Jackie, can you get my nick wreck on? And she's like another and when she gets it, she only gives me one piece instead of like a whole ten piece thing of it. So when I want another one, I gotta ask her again, and she's like, you gotta stop chewing this. I'm not going to be alone the rest of my life. And I'm like, Nicotine's not gonna kill me. Yes, it's a chemical in you and you want Then when I get my coffee, she's like, you're putting too many sugars in this coffee. And now with my bowl, she's like, pee, your pea is so yellow, so she keeps coming in with water. You have to drink more your peas too. Yeah, But like she wouldn't see my pass if I could walk, I wouldn't need it to get my gum. And she wouldn't know how many scoops to sugar I'm putting in my fucking coffee. I'm totally exposed. Oh god, you'd be you'd be slowly dying and she wouldn't know it. Yeah. And then as as as a treat to the show, I'm laying here on my back and I guess as a treat she was gonna walk over and give me the weed. She knows I like to do that during the cast. And then she goes, uh, but it wasn't there because I already took it and brought it over here. So she comes in, she goes, oh, I see you can't do anything, can't move around, but you're able to crawl over and get your weed. I see that. So it's just one thing after another, bro. Too too much exposure, too much. Man, you gotta get back up on your feet before all your secrets are out. That's it, right, I know. So so you got like you got you've got nothing to say because you're not feeling stimulated because you're in the house. I just you know, it's been So here's one for you. I give you one. Yesterday the preschool started up on zoom. Preschool. Yeah, so what they do is they all get together and now you're starting to get a bird's eye view on how people live. Oh yeah, that's a good point. So I gotta get my head off to the Japanese. I mean, there's the Japanese. Yeah, there's like a little Japanese kid and uh yeah, you just you just see everybody on their zoom. The kids are bouncing off the wall up on the couch, squirming, yelling, isn't it, And I gotta I gotta toot my own horn and my kid, my kids sitting there Indian style with her with her hands folded, just ready to learn, you know, yeah nice, And it just mirrors the Japanese kid. The Japanese kid, it's like speaking Japanese to their parents and then comes onto Zoom and speaks perfect English, Oh wow man to everybody in the class. And I'm like, it's just the way it's done. It gets three those two languages already fluid in both. He's a kind of kid that could do that, that mid flow. Like you have to see those ones that can like change languages mid sentence, Like they start up. They want to say, I went to the store to get bred, and they go, I went to the store. And there's another thing. If you're gonna zoom with multiple people, I think you've got to position your computer in a way where you're framed and you know, you look presentable. One guy is just I couldn't take it. He had his he had his computer on the floor and then he was sitting down on the floor, but his feet were at his keyboard. So I'm looking at the bottom of his feet. I gotta look over this guy's toes to see his kid, right, I'm sorry, you gotta be even though this is like you're at your home, you gotta make it like a learning environment. Like we had a little dust there for Sara Fina, you know, with her little chair. We were sitting on the couch. This guy was like it. He was with his own family. Guy, I don't even know. I'm looking at your your tend the bottom of your tent hose. Oh my god, man, Now aren't parents aren't even supposed to be in the shot on those right, because we did Sadie's class to zoom one too. Uh No, the parents are there, parents are there. We're all you know, like maybe it's it's different when you get older, but these are like two and a half three year old kids that the parents that are anything. I gonna tell you this one kid at the nanny and the shot. Now, I didn't see any parents. So I'm thinking to myself, listen, these two better be doctors or have an essential job for the nanny to be in the thing, because if they're in the kitchen right now eating and then the nanny's with them at school, I'm sorry. I'm not into that at all. That's like, come on, you're actually home and you still can't go in the other room and do god. So yeah, so we're doing that. Uh yesterday whan I made cupcakes with Sara fin uh, which was cool to see. But I gotta tell you, bro, it's just it's weighing heavy on my shoulders right now. I'm sorry. My energy level is completely gone. No, I listen, It's understandable. Everybody's on their last legs, man. But uh, we've been getting some great compliments from people all left and right that don't even know when we give out compliments about how great the Corona cast have been and how much we've stepped up. So in our own way, this is this is our way of you know, contributing absolutely. I feel like I have a back problem. Why do you do you mean that's the way, that's the way I saw. I sound like you should, sun man. I just kind that I didn't get that at first. Yeah, if all you listen is lou DJ Hank is gonna put this together, make something out of it. But we're also gonna add right now, apart from episode one forty, I guess you'd call that season two to Pete and Sebastian Show. Have you got any of these messages? You know what I'm about to say, Sebastian. So apparently we talked about the bowla virus on that episode. People go, you guys, gotta go back and listen to that. It's scary, similar to what's going on now. So I know a lot of you don't go back to the archives, and we got a new listen is a lot of new ones. So we're gonna throw on part of episode one forty from the Pete and Sebastian Show. Uh. Here, as we roll out, it was about six years ago, the world's fall apart, Man falling apart. Let's start with ebola. There's another one that another nurse out in Dallas that has it, and our boyfriend might have it. Now let's be a little educational here. It doesn't have to be that funny. Do you know, off the top of your head what the symptoms are this thing? So we could keep an eye out for you know, what's going on. Well, we'll do it alway. Alright, we'll do it in Lehman's terms the best way we can. But from what I understand, it's a fever, it's a sweat. And I also understand you can't get it, they say without physical contact. And they also say you can't get it. When I say physical contact, I mean like if someone maybe if you touch someone and then you touch your eyelid, that's that's that's a penetration. Stuff like that. But basically they make it seem like it's hard to get right, But every time I turn around. Oh, and you also can't get it unless the person who gives it to you is already showing signs of the symptom. All right, So what I want to know is all people with a bola making out with fucking people up and down the hallway, because how is how are we? How are people getting this? Well? I went to the e d C or the CDC Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, and I have as my favorite show of all time. You don't have to tell me what the c d C is as far as the full name, but continue, sir, okay ah for those of the fans would get that, all right, fever greater than one oh one point five, headache, muscle pain, weakness, I might have all four of those right now, ok, no, man, you gotta be more specific. This sounds like a really big workout. That's diarrhea. Think I had that this morning? Vomiting haven't done that yet? Abdominal pain and unexplained hemorrhage, bleeding or bruising. I think I got four out of the maybe five out of the eight symptoms. See that's the one that mat is is the last one, right, bleeding of bruising. If you if you, if you're banging a pen on your pinky and then all of a sudden your pinky starts to bruise. I'm in you got a bowler? All the rest hangover, cold fever. I don't know why? I mean, who who's to say? Broll? Okay? If you have this? What is like? What do you die of? Like? What like at late stage ebola? What do you look like? Man? I don't know what? May you want to google that ship? How does it? How does it go? I mean, and by the way, by the way, while you're googling that, I want to take a moment to discuss, in my opinion, the selfishness of these people coming into contact with a bowla and then lying because they want to go to the fucking movies. Stay inside, lock it up. They want to go to the movies. I'm just saying, the woman lie. The people keep lying when they were in contact with a bowl of people keep lying because they want to get on that plane to go home. What they want to go out with their friends. Shut down, shut down, shut it down. If somebody came to your front door and their eyes were bleeding, would you let him in the house. No, Why are we doing it with the country. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm not abdominal pain. This ebola looks like you have severe like chicken pox. It looks like your skins bubbling. It don't look good. Just the ship don't look good at all. It doesn't. It sounds like you don't need to be a doctor to look at someone a bowl and say you're dying. Guy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. As we had this conversation. As we've had this conversation, ten people died in car acc and so I'm sorry. If I'm not getting over the top crazy yet with the big ebola. All right, listen, listen, do you have any fear of flying right now? With the bola? I mean, we don't really know how it's transmitted. I'm getting mixed reports. Is an airborne you have to urinate in somebody's mouth to get it? What is? Is? It? Look bodily fluids I'm hearing. I just don't want any six degree separation to anything and whatsoever to do with Africa right now. It's it's it's not a good place and has nothing to do with race, creed or color. I'm just saying, if Italians had Ebola, I would say, shut it off in Italy. No one's coming in, man, absolutely, And that's what I'm saying. I go to the airport, but it's still I haven't checked though, it's still flights coming in from Africa. I mean, shut that ship. That door is wide open. Oh my god, sickening. You know it's gonna get to the point, man, where someone's gonna come down on my my layover to Minneapolis and has mat suits. I'm gonna be on the phone with Jackie going I gotta stay. I'm in a holiday and now dude putting duct tape around the doorway and ship. I don't know. I don't know, baby, I have no idea. I didn't even bring my fucking phone charger. This is fucked, man, Okay, Is this too far to go with it? You're talking about duct tape on hotel rooms, this, that, and the other thing. Tomorrow I'm flying out into Florida. Is it crazy if I get on the plane with plastic gloves and one of these medical masks? Is this a good time for that medical mask design thing I was talking about a couple of months back. If you have a mask like I actually have paint filters when you scrape painting stuff. I might bring one when I fly again Friday, because it just seems to be getting worse some worse. But back pocket play that ship out. If more than like half the plane starts pulling them out, then I'll pull it out. But I am not pioneering that ship. I don't think it's embarrassing. How about we do this medical masks or whatever you're talking about, that paint mask and then right and black marker on it when you get on the plane. Just put you got ebola question mark just right right on the damn thing. What do you mean I'm writing asking people? Just write it right on the thing you got? Eballah? Who am I writing? I do to anybody looking at you? I write it? Write it on the mats so so like, do you think it's fair to say now, no more shaking hands for a while. You know, I thought about that, You know I thought about that and saying listen at the end of the show, I would love to meet you. But with this a bullet thing apparently could get it to a bat to a perry bats carry this thing? Really heard about that bats over there? And uh so, now I'm looking for bats in my trees, first of its possums. Now I'm looking up to see if there's any any bats floating around my neighbor the next door, the guy who I told you about many times, just had sturmulators come. They had to take bats that were in his attic. They were permanently in his attic. I checked my attic, I got no bats up there. But geez, now the bat's got the big is it? How do we know? Bro? I need to know exactly how we get this ship, though? Can you tell us that through Google? Alright? Blood or bodily fluids, including but not limited to urine saliva? What does that mean if you have a bowler and you piss on my hand. I'm sorry for being so dumb about this. For anyone going this guy kidding me, you piss and you hit my cuticles. You hit all the cuticles in my fingernails with you have a bowl of piss? Am I a bowling? Now? Do I have it? I don't know? The question? Are at the urine on the bathroom? If you have flip flops on and you're next to a guy and some of his piss splatters onto your feet right right you have do you have it? Or do you have to have a cut on your foot and like literally stand in his puddle of piss and and who's doing that? Like? I need to know how these people getting it? All right? So when they say pissed, we need to know more. Do we know? Doctor, No, we don't know what I'm calling it. When we get disconnected and ship it's not I says. When infection does occur in him, the virus can be spread several ways to it. A bullet is spread through direct contact through broken skin or mucous membranes for examples, the eyes, nose, or mouth. So if somebody urinates in your nose, you got it right that It sounds like you got it? Yeah. Now, now if a bowl of person doesn't have a cut, but the other person does have a cut, So then the bowl of person just rubs their finger on the cut of the other person. Is the ebola going through the finger into the cut or does it have to be wound on wound? Do we have to touch wound? I don't know how that how that works. Uh, it's telling me here saliva, sweat, feces, vomit, breast, milk, and semen of the person who is sick with ebola. I'm sorry, Can you repeat that? Not limited to urine, saliva, sweat, feces, vomit, breast milk, and semen. Okay, So I guess you would have sweat on your fingertip that would get in the cut. Yes, sweat into your open wound. So I don't know that objects like needles and syringes that have been contaminated with the virus infected animals. Ebola is not spread through the air or by the water, or in general by food. What is it? What do you mean? Or in general? What does that mean? If you have a banana and we split it, you have a bowla Generally speaking, I'm not gonna get it, but once in a while it's been known to happen. That's what happened that. I tell you the other day, I was trying to get a couple of cheap balloons, helium balloons. Say he likes to play with him. I go into Dollar General. I get two helium balloons. Guys like five bucks. I go, I pay, I go A problem, but I go. I told his Dollar General to everything is a dollar, and he goes, no, no, no, it's a dollar General. Everything is generally a dollar. So then why does it why don't they put that in the title it is it's called dollar General. No, it should be an opposite, generally a dollar. I hear you, bro, But then I wouldn't have stopped and brought two balloons for five bucks. By the way, bro, if a bola spread the way they say it is, yesterday was my anniversary, and I just want to say, if Jackie had a bola over the past three days, I'd be fucking dead by now. I don't want to get pressed, but it's been it's been crazy. It's been crazy and nell sacrimony. I think when you get older it doesn't as good folks. Apparently, apparently Pete is vouching that the sex definitely increases as you get older. What is the little cabulary changes. Though. I used to call her sexy this and that. The other day I called her a vixen. What do we celebrate? What year? Oh? Sixteen, sixteen years, sixteen years. So listen, let's get back to this deadly disease um when they say, uh, all these different ways, like does it? What is it? What does it mean if just two people one has a bowler and the other one doesn't they both sitting in the room a foot away from each other, staring at each other and never touch. Apparently you won't get it that way, right, that's what they're saying based on this website. Yes, because when they say this last woman got came in contact with a hundred and thirty two people, right, does that mean like, oh, I went to the Delhi and I bought a pack of gum. Now they got about the gum guy? Did you touch you when you gave it a chicklets? Well, I don't understand, Like, how if you come in contact with thirty people, isn't it just exponential that those thirty people will then come in contact with another thing and it just goes on and on and on, I would think, So imagine they caught you right after a Chicago date. Specifically, who would you come in contact with. You'd be like half of downtown Chicago. We're all dead. We're all fucking dead. Jeez, let's hope as On zero didn't have it. He just did two sold out garden shows last Thursday. Oh no he did. Yeah, this guy's doing Madison Square Garden. Good for him. Yeah, Well, like I said, silence, Well, I was making a joke. Man, I wasn't getting it done. He's I was just you know, saying someone who was. I don't know. All I know is the way things are going. Pretty soon, within three years eisode is going to be a bunch of Amish people sitting around going I fucking knew we did right. I knew we did right, not getting caught up in that ship. They're all dead from a bowl now. Yea, yeah, I think we're scrolling up. Man. Got to apologize to the cast listeners with my performance today. I'm sorry. I think I think the Corona just has me down and I need to take a nap. Trudge me. Man, You're you're always entertaining, even when you think you're not. But I'm right there. Wait you man, Once I get up on my feet and take a nice solid you know one again. Oh god, oh yeah. But by the way, in closing, dude, Codeine, are you kidding me? How come the guy who invented that ship is not on money? He should be on money. I haven't. I haven't taken it, so I can't. I can't even imagine what it does to you. Just picture any pain you have. Hate that little white pill in. Twenty minutes later, it's gone fucking awesome ship. Alright, bro, I will catch you next cast figure m h, the show has ended. Jack