Pete and Sebastian Show 329

Published Oct 19, 2018, 10:04 PM
Sebastian is in NY with DJLou and.....whiskey!!! Pete's wife runs the half marathon and Sebastian dreams of a black Christmas!

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This is the Pete and Sebastian Show with Pete Craeli, a Sebastian Menascalco Rude Basket, It's Jimmy from Boston. I gotta agree with Pete on this one. There's no way we should be listening to any Jeremy Ranna song. Man, it's just not the guy was jem in the town. I mean, it's just respectful for him to even pick up a microphone in biscuit. What the hell do you work out to? What kind of bouncy bullshit gets you hyped on a run? I mean, no Metallica, no led Zeppelin, nothing like that. I mean, what the hell is going on here? You run to dance music? Just just runner. He's got me on a set other I'm on a fifty that's complete. Both put on kit and find out what it is they're really gonna work out? Will you? J Lou switching it up? Pine Sebastian Show, We're back. I'm excited for this one. I'll let you take over because you guys have faced. You gotta walk him through what the situation is here. So I'm in studio with Lou and Um. I came in on an Instagram live and Lou came down to greet me because he wanted to do a little a little cigarette before the show, and he was with Dan Soder of Billions Fame. Yes. Uh, and Dan's like, nice to meet you right now. I've done dance I've done dance show. He said, nice to meet you. Right yeah, he pulled it, nice to meet you. I was on the Guys show for an hour. That's right. I was with you, face to face, face to face. I did what what's the what's the show called there? I just did it right before here. Yeah, I've been on the Bonfire with him in Oakerson and how long ago? Just about a year ago, right about, and he pulled it, nice to meet you. I was on the show Guy, but we did that. I came in. I told Lou, I need I need a little liquor tonight, and to be honest with you, I can't. I came in a little sousd I just had. I just had a meeting and I had a couple of tequilas. I was gonna bring a I was gonna bring a bottle of tequila in. I just didn't have the time to stop off and get it. So Lou has a private stash of what is it breck and Ridge, would Woodford m and again not a not a sponsor to show. But we're drinking a little whiskey me and at. It's cop whiskey, right, cop whiskey in the in the drawer off to the side. After all day, you loosen the tie it, open it up. He went went on the slow's location. He left the room. I don't know where guy went to. What the fun you think he went to some special seller. I'm telling you it's cop whiskey. After you get the rapist, I've had a tough ding. You got you drinking. I have a plastic cup, doesn't even have it's a plastic high top coffee monk something that you would have a scot Starbucks coffee. And that's what we're drinking the whiskey out of tonight. That's what bosha? What what? What uh? The Christopher Darden and the other white woman who was the head prosecutor, Marshall Clark. Yeah, remember it was David drinking whiskey out of plastic cups in the back office after all day. That's what this case is a circus. So we are here serious x M New York City, pizza and for dolna Um, I actually thought on the way over here, Christmas time is around the corner, and for specifically Lou just trying to figure out man last year with the pearl jam, I gotta figure out. And I'm starting to think of Christmas gifts right now. If you even thought about that, well, look, this is a perfect example. I'm not even a party of family, and I'm most excited about the possibility of round two with Rob Vices. I don't even care what my family yet. To me, I feel like now I gotta this is a nice little touch here with the with the Christmas vibe, because I feel this year I am getting into Christmas early. I told Lana, we gotta figure out what the tree situation is because normally we bring in the tree and you haven't decorated. How about this, guys, listen to this new one. You're going to Santa's house, You're spending a weekend. Not yet, there really is a Santa, A handful of people know him. You're in the club. Now, how do you feel? How do you feel about a black Christmas tree? You know what, to Sarafita, it wouldn't be weird, so why not next year it will be orange. It'll only be weird when it finally is green, and she'll go, what the hell is this? So that'll be a thing growing up. She'll always wonder what your mommy this year will do pink. That's how you guys roll. That's what I like about visiting you, guys and knowing you. When I lived in California for one year, you guys, when in Rome, you guys embrace it. You got that California vibe. You don't go for black tree, send photos black Tree shared. That's where we're headed. And uh, I think that's a nice thought. You walking and you, Oh, I've never seen a tree black, So come on, man, And then all the presidents are gonna be what read you can look like a guy in Knight sneaker. We're going Michael Jordan's Christmas this year. Like that was a long walk down Whiskey Road right there. Oh yeah, I know. This paper cup is unbelievable. Listen, I pride myself not only on gift giving but hospitality. By the way, I'm here so late that the cleaning crew is here. I'm telling you that's like the cops drinking the whiskey janital woke. M my wow night. Check out the check out the uniforms they make him wear. My god, it's it's like Florence from the Jeffersons, The the the The woman who's cleaning up looks like Alice from Brady Bunch. She's got a blue smock on, which actually I kind of I kind of like, I love your PC made so much more to Louis's like Florens Good Times. The justicis costume. This is my main uniform, Alice from the Brave Bunch. Don't associate me with that last one. But this woman is not even black or white. That's the beauty of it. She's right in the twins. You know, we're just talking about the the outfit. I get it. Man. Yeah, that place has going high tech with the with the little bubbles you climb inside to have a conversation. I mean, Serious is the real deal now. Man. By the way, do you I meant to answer you subasition, do you listen to Serious? And do you have a favorite station? Good question. I don't. I do not drive a car. I'm looking for a car, but I'm thinking to myself, Man, this is the car's gonna say I don't drive. I've been driving the school and that's not good because I haven't drove the scooter since Serafina was born. I took it out the last three or four weeks. And I don't want I don't want Sarafina be fatherless. You know what I'm saying? Alright, alright, alright, let's pull it back here that there are men out there protecting US firemen, police officers. And since your baby is born, you won't get on a vespa to go to Whole Foods. Oh what a dad, Dad, I'll leave it into the hands of an uber driving It might be completely baked right now as he's picking me up to take me where I need to go. Oh god, No, you're right, You're right. I'm not going to worry about I'm a professional, professionally. What what else did I have to tell you? Right? Which there was a reason for all that though? Right, you said you didn't have a vehicle, But why was that all brought up? Loot? Do you remember? Where do we go with that? I think the whiskey might have thank you. I normally don't do the shows like this. I like to be professional, come in sober. But like I said, I had a meeting to this, and uh, well you're with the right two guys. Yeah, here you go, man, no problem. We got light my light or a couple of more times and I'll catch right up here your pally. I was so happy that I got the text that you needed a beer. I'm like, wow, no, I text Lou coming in, I go, you go like a beer or something up there. And then like I thought, and I'm sorry, I just thought this place would have like a like a bar set up somewhere. Don't don't you think that that would it should like the Jimmy Kimmel show does. Yeah, Like I thought that would be like a green room where that you could just have act excess. And apparently Lou had to run into a drawer up on the third floor to pull the cop whiskey out. Yeah, well that's how it is. I bet if you went through everyone's drawer you'd find a full bar by the time you were done, you know. Yeah, Lou, there's a lot of people on on these shows that do they have a knit pair in there? Yeah? Sure, Mostly the shows I'm on, you'll see when people clean out their desks and everybody's got a stash Okay, all right. Maybe that's why Soda didn't say Hi, good to see you again, because he blacked out from the last time he was with you. But did it? Did it Soda and Oakerson do something about us on their podcast? Didn't they have like a thing, like a whole story going on? They did? They did an impression of you. Following up on Chicago Dicks, which everyone's is the think it's a great idea. Dr Phil and Sebastia menascalco as two detectives with a canine Maggie the attack talk. Well, we don't use the Canaan unit until people are unable to be psychology out of their place. Captain Captain, Captain Macho Man. Yeah, Captain Savage. Wayne throw through an idea at me when he listens to the show. He listens every shove Wayne right? Wayne said, Also, how about fucking mayor round the danger field? I just found out you're right to half the city. What do you want to do even that it's done to rubble. You're supposed to be a mayor and you're looking that disheveled. You've never dealt with this high level politics. I're on a major city. How do you expect to get anybody's respect when you're dressed like that. Listen here, detective. I'm not looking for your respect. I get no respect. What I'm looking for is a reason that everything is destroyed self California. I haven't though your suits completely wrinkled. You got nose hairs, you got no I can't even. I can't even. You got nose hairs coming out of your nose. I can't even this guy. I know I've been talked to like that by a supporting it. I'm gonna find out who your boss is. He gonna be giving pocket tickets by the time I'm done with you, I'm pilling you. This is love. Cadet. Biggie Smalls just came into the room for us. I call it. How can you be that fat and black and expect to live a full life if the bullets don't take you, diam meat at will. I see your foot is so swow. I can't your foot so it's purple. I can't even. Oh, you just gotta chuck like so we solve the by burtles. You don't believe I got all the little girls. I got a little force and steps without well, it's like my mother. It's like my puffy says, you got mole of cases, a couple of pubbles. You know, I need you to put your hands behind your big fat back and link your wrist together. The bastard. I don't mean to tell you how to live your life, but you're turning this whole damn force against you. We are proud to be Chicago p D, and I'm especially happy to be the Chicago p D psycho. Therapiz you're gonna challenge me in front of a purple You guys are a couple of cops who live on the edge, should play by their own rules. Why would you do? You guys sound like a couple of Chicago dicks. Chicago dicks coming soon. Okay, so this guy, they were doing impressions of me and this guy goes nice to be I can't get over it. Well, I gotta bring this up man, So I'm glad I have in front of me. But um, this past weekend, Jackie ran the half marathon in Niagara Falls. Remember me bringing that up to you guys? Jackie said, Hey, why don't we just offer a ride to my friend? Um, because we're going going the same thing. We gotta go over the border I'm like, yeah, of course, man, And now she's friends with this guy. I don't know if the data not. I just know their friends and I met him once and he's a really nice guy. But I met him once for about five minutes. So we're gonna give them both a ride. So I said to Jackie, Okay, but listen, you gotta figure out, like somehow tell your friend politely to tell the guy that when once you guys take off, you run for like two and a half hours. So like me and Sadie, we have fun, we go do something together during that time, you know, so like he's not hanging out. And she goes, well, you know, I don't have to tell you. I don't know what to tell you. This guy ain't hanging out with me and my daughter for two and a half hours. I met him for five minutes. So she goes, well, you know, when you get there, you just tell him you're gonna go, do you think? Okay, So I'm gonna drive him over the border. You two are gonna go run for thirteen miles and I want to turn around to him and go seeing two hours later and I why are you even driving this gay? Listen, we're all going the same way. Why I burned the gas twice? We all, you know, world together. It's like, what do you am? I literally explaining couple into you eighteen guy, I mean people call pull bro. I don't mean I don't car pool. I'll see it there. Now, First of all, there was people doing a full marathon. She was only doing a half. I gotta say at a seven hifty women second in an age group, at a fourteen hundred people seven thirty five pace. She gave me a whole thing to say. But seriously, she did it in an hour and thirty nine minutes. Man, she crushed it, crushed it. So I want to I want to say congratulations to my wife. She qualified for the New York City marathon. She really wants to do the Chicago one. If she gets into that, that's a first choice. But anyway, so let me, let me just stop you here, let me And we didn't even talk about this, but the last time when I did Radio City, you guys came in and you guys stayed at the same hotel we were staying at, and we saw you in the gym. Uh, your wife was running on the treadmill. I have to tell you and Lana and I talked about this on the way out of the gym. I've never seen anybody run at the velocity that she was running. And you know what, you know a runner based on number one, the outfit, because she had the whole runner garon. But then you also know a runner by the form. I mean that's the gate. The gate. Is that what they're calling? Yeah, the gate? You know whatever she was doing. If you looked over and you were on the treadmill and you kind of glanced over to what she was doing, you would go, wow, let me just step off and take a look at how a real runner runs, because she ain't a thing. And and maybe maybe I don't know if she even notice this, but like she had the thumb in the index finger kind of pressed together, like there was like a penny between those two the end and in the three fingers just kind of fans out. And I was like, man, it's like when I run, I look like I'm being chased by a gorilla. What the fuck was that? I'm good? But so the fact that you're telling me that that she is in the top of her class in her age group and she's finished, what did you say? Eight out of one, eight out of four hundred, but second in her age group. But it's okay, So, so is your wife a air of what's going on during the race, where like like does she know at mile whatever eight, hey your fourth kicked the kick the ship in gear? Or she runs and then she just looks up and goes, oh, wow, I'm second. How does that work? No, well, time, that good question, bro. She doesn't with other people as far as oh I'm fourth or I'm tent. It's just her own time. And she's got this watch where it beeps every time she just went another mile, and then she can look at a watch and it tells what her paces, how how far she is. So so it's all about she knew I think for her age group she needed like a one forty two time to qualify for the New York City Marathon. So she ended up doing it, like I said, one thirty nine and change. But but um, so, so that was what was on her mind. So you know, yeah, she but she she said at one point she got to like the seventh mile, and there's a pace guy that these guys when you run these races, they like, if you want to keep a seven forty pace per mile, which is what Jackie wanted to keep. These guys run holding a stick that says seven forty and they run basically at a pace of seven forty and you can just run with them, Like if I can just stay with that, dude, These are like elite runn It's like, who the fucking run. They're running with like a yard stick with a big thing on it that says, you know, seven forty, hold on, hold on. Yeah, there's a guy stick who's like a pace car. Yeah, for all different paces that you might want to do. I mean not maybe there's like fifteen of them. I don't know how many, but yeah, if you want to do with this pace and there's a guy with the stick, stay So when you line up, you want to stay with the guy with your stick. This guy even running the marathon. This guy is literally running outside the marathon so you can keep No, he's he's he's a runner, and he's dressed like a runner, and he's got a tag on him. He's another run her in the race. But he's a volunteer who while he runs in the middle of the race, he's holding up a stick. Yeah, okay, he shot on the sidelines. Okay, so everybody get out of the way. It comes a guy with a stick. So so this guy is involved in the race, but he's like a pace runner. So my question is, do they go to this, do they go to the seven forty guy and do they go listen, we need you to do seven Could you do it? Or this he max out? What a fucking great question, because all right, obviously you can't max out at seven forty because if that was your max, you'd be like, I can't be holding a stick. That's that's that's my max without a stick, right, you gotta be doing I'd say at least six forty minutes without the stick. To even think about doing a seven forty minute at the stick, would you say, I mean a seven minute stick? He'd probably say, yeah, you don't have the phone turned his wife. Oh god, damnit, baby, they just asked me to do a seven minute with the stick. Jerry, You've never done a seven minute with stick? Has anyone ever dropped stick? Halfway through? Just fucking all this is this guy actually holding a stick? Yeah, it's like a yard picture, like a yard stick, and at the end of it you just staple to it. A big piece of white construction paper that in markert says seven dot dot forty and he holds it up so even in a crowd you can see there he is yeah, and he holds it the whole time and runs with that kick. Congratulations of Jackie for for for really not like not now are you in, Sadie there? This is what I've always wondered because I got a buddy of mine that his wife does a lot of this marathon stuff. So when you go to a marathon, what do you do? Set up at mild to it and then getting the car you run down to mouth? How does it work with the cheering? Because you go to a soccer, baseball game, football game, you're sitting the stands your cheer, but ship then the game's moving. On a marathon, you move with the game. Well, at first, Jackie's never running a marathon, so this is she's leading up to what I have. Marathon is only about two hours, so yeah, the marathon is a different story. But um um with the half one, me and Sadie like to just kill a little time. So I just have two things I can't forget to say, we'll crossing back over the border and Jackie's got two medals for the times and stuff, and then they're around the neck. You know, I'm proud of her, and she's excited. She busted her ass and uh. The guy at the border goes where you're coming from? We say the race, Okay, are you bringing anything back over the border? And Jackie leans over from the passenger side and says, just a couple of medals, I said, Jackie, gon funk around at the border. Jackie, don't crack jokes and ship. Oh man, your wife and my wife I want him the same. All right. Let me tell you about my border story with my wife. Early on, we were going on an Alaskan cruise and we had to go through Vancouver and we were at the border in Canada, right and I'd known my wife now for maybe a year and a half, two years. So we go up to the border crossing and the border agent goes, um, Mrs Gomez, what do you do for a living? And she goes torn star, Oh oh, are you trying to be funny? This ship don't work here right here? We going name? Where are we going in Canada? Now? Canada is one of these things. It's literally harder to get into Canada than the United States. So they goes all right, and she's laughing, and I give her they ever give your wife a look with no words, but the look on your face goes you shouldn't have said, and she and she's laughing like I'm just kidding. We don't kid here. We don't get at the border, right. Like when I'm at the boarder, they go, what are you doing here? I don't even know what the fucking say. Like, I'm like, like, I go, I'm I'm here, I'm here for a business. I come, I become a robot, right Absolutely. I get very nervous if i'm if I'm driving, I do not go up until the car in front of me is completely gone, my window is down. I'm like, Jackie, give me the passports, give me open him to the faces, open up to their faces. Oh you have a dude, act like can you open it to the face and then you give it back to you. I'm thumbing through like this heroin in between each page, and I don't want to see it. I can't find my face, and man, I just gets scared. Scared. Citizen of the country, right, especially getting back in the United States, you're a citizen of the country. You have no priors, you have no drugs, you have nothing, and you're trying to get back in and you're scared shitless. Could you imagine what the feelings like if you're trying to snake in. I'm scared and I'm a citizen. Yeah, I know. Sometimes I think it would be easier. You ever, like going through the border and You're like, I feel like I could just go right around your ship over the woods over there, and I'd be at a goddamn ductr Donald's within thirty minutes, you know, I mean, do they have it all covered? If I if I just walked on everything. I mean, I don't need to do a dance, but I feel like I could. Guy could get back in fourth from Quebec three or four times in a week. Bro, I just got the skill. No, I think I think you have that stealth skill set where you could kind of slip in and we've we've we've you don't think you could get into Mexico command dependent on it? No, you know what we've heard on pass shows with you and your ability to hide, to hide, you know, in the in the bombas right, I feel like you have that mindset where you could get in and out without detection. But I feel like I've I got that or where they're like, oh god, this guy is trying to sneak and a them know. It's scary no matter when a whare you're crossing, Bro, I'm telling you so. In closing though with this, with this race, I just want to say, do you remember me telling you a out how I was trying to nip it in the bud about telling Jackie to tell her friend. I don't want to spend time with the guys what happened. So, oh, the guy is not coming, so it's not an issue. We're going in separate cars. Then the night before it turns out he is coming. So okay, I go jack to I don't want happy. Okay, we get to the race, they both run off, good luck see you. Then we have to get back in our vehicles and drive to another spot where they're gonna finish, and that's where we get out. Now we're right at Niagara Falls. I'm just gonna take Sadie over to the falls, get out of the vehicle. This guy gets out of his vehicle. I want to preface this. This guy is a mensch absolute sweet, nice man. Nothing wrong with this man. It's just that I wanted to be along with Sadie, which I had said. I tried to avoid an old cost and what comes comes my way? Bro, He says, do you mind the fight toag along? What you guys? I spent three weeks here? Two weeks? Three weeks? I go, yeah, no, of course. Why. Oh my god, Me and my daughter and a man I met once and she never met, went and looked at the bag of falls together. He grabbed my phone and took a photo of me and her. I grabbed his phone, took a photo of him, and then we went to the candy shop. We got that the candy shop. I said, well, I'll find you in here on the way out. Oh my god, it's a shame. Did your daughter say anything like that? Da Dad? Yeah, I mean he's like I said, he's a real nice guy, and you have nowhere else to go when I get it. That's why I was telling Jackie, tell him to maybe bring a book or something like, let him know I want to do something allte with. So he was just kind of like always almost like if you had security with you and you told him to stay about thirty feetback and green coming out right back. Not fired? Not fired? Oh rat is okay? Comedians Pete gore Yelli and the Battan Man at Galco The Pete and Sebastian Show, Back to the White House, Back to the White House, okay, it was Oh by the way, guy comes up to me at the thing, he says, Pete co RELI hey, how to him? My name is Dave, big fan of the cast. Heard you might be here. I can't believe I ran into you and I leaned over to him. I shake his hand, I go take a behind say I was talking about so we're international. By the way, we're international because I was on I was on the Canadian side show is international. So my god. Anyway, So, by the way, dude, I just saw you. Don't even bring it all up. What does this billboard has? The first ever comedian at a year award? Is that? Am I saying that correctly? Congratulations dude, the first ever recipient? Thank you? It has. They're already been an awards ceremony. It's in November, and it's funny that you bring this up because I've been having a problem. They're asking me, who do you want to present the award to you. I don't have anybody suggestions. They're gonna obviously want a celebrity, so well, okay, listen, listen, let me let me give you it's not televised. Okay, so it doesn't really have to be a celebrity, but it has to be kind of someone within the industry. I don't know, is it supposed to be a peer. Is it supposed to be someone kind of like a comedian, you know, like maybe maybe a club owner that particularly gave you a big break or you feel close to or so, yeah, thank you for mentioning that Billboard Comedian of the Year first, the first ever award they're they're handing out to me in November at the Montage Hotel in Beverly Hills, and I have to figure out who the hell to present. I was just thinking, yeah, by the way, he'll be available. Quote a clipping at Netflix cop shows, Who's that? I gotta cut that? Yeah, but no, but totally Tony Danza and he could do that the twenty dollar day, that dollar thing day where he puts it on the invisible string. Don't don't make a tap dance, just make another speech. Tap dance? What are you kidding? Mean he's listening to this right now putting the twenty dollar building out of a draw. He did it all night after Sebastians. Yeah, no, he did, like a magic Did we talk about these? Yeah, alliens magic tricks? Okay, did you do we talk about this the magic track? No, we didn't bring that up on on the show. Was that the after party that I barely got in sprint it away from got out of there after the after party? No? No, this was after the show, the after party, yeah, dance, Uh and uh, Pete was there, Pete's wife, me, my, everybody was there. Danza pulls out a twenty dollar bill, right yeah, and if he puts it on the floor and he has a mechanism that reels it back in, so it's like one of those things where you're like, oh, that's twenty bucks, you go to grab it, and he snatches it because he's got like an invisible string attached to the bill. He's doing this all night long. Yeah, and I'm like, but the problem was nobody, nobody. It's so loud and dark, and half the people they wouldn't even pick up a twenty if they saw it. So so Dan's is going around talking to people, going, hey, look at it, twite, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. So then you go all right, and then you go to pick it up, and then he snaps the thing to go, so it's like it's like and then he's getting the same people twice. So now it was like one of those things. You ever go to the mall and you ever go to the magic shop, there's a there's a magic trick. I bought this damn thing where what is it? Uh? It goes around your waist. You ever see this thing where it's like an invisible string and and there's like either a nickel or a quarter that goes around your ways You're like, oh my god, how's it doing that? Are you looking this up a little? Thinking of different magic songs to play behind the story? Anyway, it's it's impressive, right yeah. I used to do this ship when I don't play Steve mill Abrica, I do not want to hear it, bro I keep going. I used to do this magic. I used to be kind of a magic buff myself me too. Early on I had a magic kid. Dude, I do it for the family, right, you put the thing in the thing and then you turn it around. Bro right, what did you have? Do you remember any of your tricks? Well? This, this is one of these tricks where I went to a magic shop in a mall and picked up this thing, and I actually do I used to do it as a waiter when uh it was slow. I used to entertain the wait staff with magic. But I didn't do it like it wasn't perfected, Like I couldn't perfect the damn thing good enough where people would go, holy ship. I would do it and then the thing would fall apart and they go, oh, oh that was cool. But that that the nickels on the floor. Now you like the guy who can play like half a song on the guitar, But you were doing it. I I stopped when I was like seven or eight. Man, I mean you how old? You know? What is going on with you? You were a weird dude, man strange, I'm that's I'm sorry, man. It's like my dad, My dad, Dandy was a magician. Growing up. He used to do that thing with his thumb. You ever see that thumb the trick where you had your left hand and then you tuck your left thumb underneath and take your right thumb little. You know what I'm talking about. I do what to say all the time. I pulled my thumb off, the thumb off. He got your nose, he says, he wait, no, but if you line it up good does he do the grimace? Like ah? And then it's hard to get up and I can only get it apart about two inches. And then I put it back together and I shake my hands and she's like, do it again. I go, okay, it gives me the arthritis. Oh oh shit, No, my dad did the whole thing. So I grew up thinking my fucking father could take a thumbs apart. Oh exactly. Man, that's magic. I see the problem with magic though. Man, it's like David Copperfield. Those are day the blame guy. I get it, cool rock star, but man, everything leading up to that is just it seems like it seems like depressing. And you know, is it depressing? Is it depressing? Line? It's gotta be man, right today, look at this. I mean, even when it's great, I'm like, yeah, alright, now what but you know who's good and who I worked with before, and I think I've mentioned on the on the show before is what's that guy's name is Pearlman. Yeah, I mean a lot of them are great out look up. I think his name is Ozy. What's his name? He's good man. He's like a mind reader a right. You talked about him, Yeah, you want to see him? Yeah no, I didn't want to see him. We worked together at a corporate egg and I want to hire him for a party. That's what I want to do. If this guy came to a party. Okay, this guy is fabulous. Yeah, all right, if you're looking to hire anybody for a party, Like if this guy came into a party and you had like twenty five people there, he could manipulate the entire party, and that's all people would be talking about, going, Oh we went to we went to Petas party. Yeah yeah, you mean you mean like a hypnotist, no mentalist, mentalist for example. Uh, this is not one of his tricks, but I'm gonna tell you, like what it would be like Pete. Think of a number. Okay, he blows up a balloon, he throws it across the room, somebody pops the balloon. The number thirty four pops out of the balloon, and it's the number you were thinking about, right, Literally didn't tell anyone. Just think about my own head. Yeah, like he that is insane, sane. This guy like put it, put it this way, one of these, one of these guys where the dollar bill, the serial number on the dollar bill, whatever, the serial number that he gives somebody, it turns out to be the birthday of whoever's got the fucking dollar bill. He was on America's Got Talent. He's a bill deal. This guy is fan pastic. This guy I will have at a party of mine within the next eighteen months. And I told him that when I work with a guy, I gotta he's probably a fortune now. But he's got his own TV show on NBC that But this guy, if you want to make a splash at a party, you bring in this Oz Pearlman, he'll knock it out of the part. Well, you know this is interesting because I just got my hair cut today by my man Henry and me Street for doing you. And long story short, there's a woman sitting there and he goes, I want you to meet Carmen. I think her name is Karmen. And she comes over and with chat and he's like, this is Pete. And he goes to Carmen, Pete has something that you have, and she goes, oh, and and and then Henry goes, Pete is a bad back, and she goes, oh, mine's healing. And then she i'm I'm bro, I'm not even kidding you. I got the gown on, he's clipped in my hand, my body is completely covered. And she leans over and she goes, is it your hip? And she goes, is it your back or is it your left hip? That's actually the problem. I go, yeah, it is my left hip, and she goes, yeah, I'm sensing the energy that the bad energy coming off of the left hip. Come on, bro, what are you buying it? I can't. I'm totally in that, man, I'm totally in the energy. I was actually so in that. I'm like, what do you mean? And she's like, then she goes, you let me let me ask you, and she goes, I'm I'm feeling like you have money, but yet you're stressed about finances or something with like, what do you worry about? Sensing I go out, I actually worry every day about someday and no one's thinking I'm funny and I can't get booked because the guy Henry told her as a committee, and she goes, um, I go. Every day I wake up and I think about first thing, and she's like, but you're doing great and life is wonderful, so so that you have to just enjoy the positive energy when you feel that way your your hip. That goes to your hip. Let me repeat after me, repeat after me. It doesn't matter if I don't get booked. And I go, well, I wouldn't need so, and she goes, no, just say it. I go, I'm literally get my hair cuper, and it wouldn't matter if I don't get booked. So say it doesn't It doesn't matter if I don't get booked. I go, it doesn't know you're saying this in a chair to the lady. To the lady because she got me with the left hand out of nowhere that I'm like, listen, if this is the real deal, I don't want to miss out on the opportunity. And then she goes, do you mind afterwards if I just show you a few self healing techniques just and I go short, I go. I stand over there with her and she's like, are you familiar with Richie or Richie Ricky is something? And it's some Japanese or Chinese sort of healing thing. And yeah, and she goes, stand here and she takes my palms and she goes, open up your hands, open up your hands. And I have my hands out with my palms up and she has hers out. Bro, right next to the register. I just paid seventeen fifty for a hair cut, and I got my hands out with this lady. And she goes, she goes, when your hands are out like this, you're allowing positive energy to come into you. You're collecting it. You deserve it, bring it in, feel it. When your hands are clenched, you're holding in rage and fighting out good energy. You're keeping it away from you. Now keep your hands open. Now, rub them together, and we rub them together, just to give them a little warmth. Put them on the part of you that's hurting. Put him on your lower back. Oh wow, this is a lot man for haircut. And I put him there and she goes, now, tell your pain to go away. Tell it it's okay to leave. Tell your pain, leave pain leave. I'm going leave pain leave. And she's like, yes, but Bro, like my back still hurt, fucking whom your mama the fuck? But I mean, if you do that over and over, does it? Does it work? Am I taking the pain away? And it's only there because I'm allowing it to be there. Get it out with your hands just so. Anyway, this is l a ship. Well, I'm not gonna lie to you. Five minutes later, I said, you guys have me here about vampire and facial and they go, no, I got my money, got one and fucking Hollywood. They poke holes in your face and then drop them on the like, oh yeah, Hollywood. I meanwhile, I just was holding my palms out. Oh wow, man, I can't believe this is happening in your area. But do you believe in that? Bro? Is there something to that? No, there's there is something to that. I mean, I know that you're a little bit more closed minded in that area than I am. I think Lou and I are a little bit more open minded, especially with the whiskey and our coffee cups tonight. I believe in that stuff, you know, that energy stuff here. For example, if you say something out loud, they say, if you put it in the universe, like hey, I want to play um whatever, Yeah, whatever you want to do, whatever you want to do in life. I want to be the biggest star at Sirius sex M. If you put that out there, I believe that it might not come to you at that moment, but to three years from now whatever for, it will come back to you. I had this situation happened to me tonight where I met the guy that just say. I met a guy and he said, I put it out in the universe that I kind of wanted to work with you, and here we are two years later. It's amazing the energy. If you put it out there, it might manifest itself to come back to you and not. I'm not one of these like these guys who completely prescribed to this, but I believe there's some truth to it. Are you saying that you said that to some guy who worked I didn't say that the guy said it to me. But man, no, But like I'm telling you, there's things in life. If you verbalize them and you talk about them, they could they could happen. That's all. Like I I'm feeling that I was like it older bro, I'm trying to accept that more now. I believe it with age comes this wisdom and whether you're single and you're trying to figure out like way, Why am I don't have a husband? Why don't I have a wife? If you put it out there and you're not so critical of people. And I've and i've I've known this with age that I used to be very um. I used to I used to shut people down right away because I'd be turned off by A, B and C. But as I grow older, I learned to become a little bit more accepting. And if you allow people to enter your life, you'd be surprised sometimes how your first impressions were wrong, and and and and because you don't know what's going on with people, like you don't know what's going behind the curtain, you might go, oh, asshole, jerk off whatever, just that and the other thing. And you trust your gut instinct. But I believe if you open yourself up a little bit, you you would develop friendships that you never thought you would have otherwise. Are you saying this to the listeners? Are you saying this to me? I am saying this to the listeners. Know there's listeners out there that have this problem. All right, Yeah, that's true, man. You never know where a friendship can develop. Seriously, what we're doing, vibe well, I don't know what would do what I'm trying to join in with the kombay ya. He started this, he just finished it with a positive I think that was the half of whiskey and tequila talking. I have no idea, but no, I believe I believe that's the case. Once you do that, let it go, and then after that be naturally And there's nothing more attractive then a person who radiots, simple, unaffected humanity. Do we have a um something we should read? Yeah, I'd say we shouldn't read that today. Executive decisions. Yeah, this water, by the way, let's talk about let's talk about lose bartending service. Really, he's got it going for you. Whiskey straight, what a water back? I did everything. We put a napkin down. Oh wow, there's everything here but some cash shows. Man. You know, I gotta say. I did this really great country club out in the New York It was on City Island at the very tip and it was a lot of fun. But one of our listeners, great dude Anthony, took me to the bar and they were having a couple of shots at a country club and the shots were in plastic cups, little ones, little ones, so Lou was basically serving you better than a country club that I was in. That's just step up. I like that you drink. I like a bartender who drinks. Otherwise I feel like I'm being poisoned. Pete, what do you got on this? Uh? Literally, Lou will do a lady, You are right, this is fucking all right. Okay, when you want to talk about a product that is in my wheelhouse, I'm here to talk about Simple Contacts, all right, Simple Contacts. You can go to simple contacts dot com, forward slash DJ Lou and you will get a twenty dollar offer discount. You can also just go to check out when you're at simple Contacts and put in DJ Lou and you'll still get that twenty dollars off. And listen, you're gonna want that twenty hours off. Let me explain Simple Contacts to you. Anyone who has Contact lens is like myself. You have at the end of the year, you know your prescription hasn't changed, But the only way you can get more contacts is by going back to the doctor, paying a hundred or two hundred bucks for another eye exam to be told you have the same prescription anyway, and then you can go get your contacts. It's so annoying, but with simple contacts. I did this. It's insane. Man. You literally go to the website and sign up and then you take an eye exam with your phone. Jackie held the phone for me. You gotta be ten feet away, but it's I can't tell you how easy it is. The phone literally reads off if you're seven feet and then you back up eight feet and then when you get to ten feet, that goes ding. That's perfect or something like that. And there's literally a doctor and I doctor on the other end of the phone. She talks to you for a second, and then she shows you an eye chart and you got to follow the eye chart and read it properly. You gotta cover one eye and stuff. And if you pay us boom, they let you know if they if you passed within a day, they send you an email and then they send you the contacts that you already have that you need more of. That's it, and it takes five minutes from your kitchen or wherever you want to do it and get this. They have almost every kind of contact lens you can have, so once you pass the test, they're just gonna send you the contact you have, not some of the brand, the exact same ones, and for the lowest price. It's not even like they're jacking you for the contacts. I mean, listen, let's not forget you still gotta go for your for your visit every once in a while and get your periodic full eye healthy Sam. All right, this isn't a replacement for that, but you know, once in a while you have those years a couple in a row where you know your prescription hasn't changed. No more getting in the car and making an appointment. You're doing it from your house. Welcome to the modern age, baby, Simple contacts dot com, forward slash d j lou and get yourself twenty dollars. Well, like I said, just go to simple Contacts dot com and when you check out for the code, you can put in DJ loup and you get twenty bucks off. So basically, you're getting the vision test for free. This thing is insane. You gotta deal with all right, I'm serious. Later al right, So anyway, what's up, dude. Uh, let's let's get back to the schedule show. Dude. I want to talk about are you happy with the final photo that we're going with for you for the promos. Yeah, so we picked a new photo. I think I'm pretty happy with it. I don't know what's going to go around the photo as far as the graphics is concerned, but I think the photo kind of encapsulate in cap what is it encapsulates encapsulates in cap chuli. You know I shouldn't have jumped in. Why did I jump in? My fight? Damn whatever? I think it really kind of we gonna just walk away. This is embarrassing. Man. You ever do this when your kid in class and one kid can't read the line and you're like, all right, let it go, next guy, next guy, it's gonna be pumping gas ten years from now, anyway. Do you ever do that in class where you know you're gonna be reading and then you go to your paragraph right like, oh absolutely, time that ship. You're sitting there going, okay, I got the third paragraph. Then you're you're not even listening to the one and two before you you're reading yours out and you're like, oh, man, that's gonna be a tough one to pronounce. Oh if you got like you got a girl named Kathy next to you. Once you hear her reading her line, I'm putting my finger over my first word, like right below it, get ready, get ready, soon as she's keep the train going. You funk that up? You look dumb right. That's huge, man. They're literally shutting lights down here at It's it's how long we been on about We got about fifty fifty five minutes of the show. That's pretty good. That's pretty a lot of fat, really, it's a lot of cut down here, Loule. What do you mean on the show, Yeah, I mean no, not a lot. I'd say about four minutes, five minutes. Ship all right, So what do I got? Oh? Yeah, we're almost sold out at this point. We're probably all by now at the Opera House in Fredonia. Man, Me and Brewer are October anyway. A new one added, Stand Up Live Phoenix, Arizona Coming your way November ninth and Friday Saturday. Stand Up Live Phoenix, Arizona November three. Comics Come Home at Boston Garden with Dennis Leary and Brewer and Reagan and um Mo Joe's Comedy Club is another one. I want to say out there in Youngstown, Ohio, November ninth, I mean in sixteen and seventeen. Quick side note on that Phoenix Club. What a great club? Have you played the club? Standup line? Uh? Yeah, beautiful, beautiful club, beautiful club. So if you're in Arizona, definitely checked Pete out over there. It's a really nice, uh nice spot. I UM, I had a whole new tour announced h as far as dates for two thousand nineteen that just came out, and there's just a lot going on in in the month or sorry, the year of two thousand nineteen, and I just want to just spit out some dates, uh, in no particular order. Places I've never even been before. South Bend, Indiana February one, February Rockford, Illinois, February Peoria, Illinois. UM, let me just skip around here. March nine, no Nevada, Denver. March twenty, San Antonio. I've been there once, but can't wait to go back. March going to Biloxi, Mississippi, March thirty. Got a lot of family out there. April fift Detroit, Michigan. Uh, Tunica, Mississippi. April twelve. I'm going to Idaho, Des Moines, Des Moines, Iowa, Iowa. That's definitely Iowa, Okay, We're Iowa. See this is like lack of education. Louisville, Indiana with St. Louis, San Diego, Phoenix. It's all on Sebastian Live dot com. Go there. I am in town doing and I'm just I don't know if I should. I'll hold it. I'll hold it. This is I got. I got two big ones. That's why I'm in town. But I'll hold it for another day. Wow. Alright, well, I'm and I'm looking forward to my gigs with you working on Yes, Pete, Pete and I going at the end of December doing a Florida run, Axonville, Orlando, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa. At the end of the year, Pete and I will be performing together on stage. Get your ticket Sebastian live dot com. We are out hanging, guys. The show has ended. We've heard on past shows with you and your ability to hide, to hide, you know, stage m

The Pete and Sebastian Show

Two A-list comedians, Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco, get together once a week to create a t 
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