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You're listening to the Pete and Sebastian Show on the riot Cast Network riot cast dot com. This is the Pete and Sebastian Show with Pete Courtelli and Sebastian menascalso Pete, missket. It's Jimmy from Boston. Listen. I just want to say that I hear you, miss t I'm gonna stop bringing up Pete's indiscretions with that fridge. Although I may just be saying that because I'm drunk in my renovated basement. But don't worry. I'm gonna quit the booze. I'm gonna go above ground. I'm gonna get with some of that bullshit J J. Watt mental caffeine and hopefully that will help keep me silent on that fridge rape fingers crossed up. Yeah. Heard a lot of talk about the oak. Heard a lot of talk about the scene. There's a lot of talk about a lot of things. Don't that much to a lot of talk about my spirit. We'd a lot of talk about my soul. That decided that exacting and pain a better friend, So I let it go. Sho eats abashed show back, bro. This is Monumental News where are you calling home right now? Man? Well, I am broadcasting from our rental unit. But there is nothing here. There's a few random boxes. All the furniture is gone. We have not slept in our home yet. All the furniture will be um placed tomorrow. I will be leaving town tomorrow morning to do a show up in San Jose. Lana's gonna be uh at the house with the movers, and when I arrived Saturday back in the Los Angeles, I will be sleeping in the home. All right, dog do beautiful Saturday, I will be slipping into my um my slippers and walking around the house, hopefully with a glass of cabernet, and I'll sit down on our couch to possibly watch a little Monday night football, which I haven't done at all. I haven't watched TV and god knows how long in your own home. Almost two years, so uh, it's coming to an end. Still got some work to do at the house and odds and ends and and whatnot, but the majority of the home is finished and we are excited. I am sick. I think I'm coming down with something. I've been doing those radio phoners every morning, which we all know and love where you gotta get up at four I mean I'm on the I'm on the West coast, so a lot of this stuff is East Coast phoners. I'm up at four thirty and then making calls at five thirty back east to promote the UM Showtime special, which airs this Saturday at ten pm Eastern, nine pm Central. So I've just been uh, it's been a week of press right hold on, lou Big Music this Saturday night, Folk, you tape that ship, sit down if you can. More than anything, nothing like seeing the first airing of a new Maniscalco special, Bro, just because it's your third one in your rock and roll and doesn't mean me make any less of this than all the others. This is always huge news. I'm beyond excited. It's finally here man, and I'm actually gonna be home and I have showtime. I can't wait. Bro, Congratulations and good luck. Thank you very much. We're excited over here as well. I'm gonna be an Irvine doing the show Saturday night, so I'm not gonna be having a viewing party, but I as a little contest I should I should tell the listeners if they don't follow me on social media. We have a contest. A lot of the fans are gonna be having viewing parties. They're gonna be inviting their friends and family over to their homes for a little party, little wine, little alcohol, what have you. If you take some photos all that party and post it up on your social media and hashtag it with why would you do that? I'm gonna be picking a winner and inviting them to a show in their city with two U two complimentary v I P tickets along with a meet and Greek backstage. So that's all you gotta do. Take a photo, hashtag it why would you do that? We will go on the social media sit through it all and uh, you can win two tickets to a show in your city with a meet and Greek backstage. So that's the contest. Contest. It's just a way to interact with the with the fans. So a lot of people don't have showtime. So what they're doing is inviting uh, those people that don't have showtime over uh and uh it's a it's a community, it's a family affair. So that's what's going on on my end. I'm a little under the weather. I apologize for the nasally congestion that I have going on right now. But it's been a big week, big week. What's up on the PCs. Well, first of all those radio things that Sebastian is talking about, keen sane. You literally hang up and then you call the next one and you're on with them for ten minutes. You hang up, then you have a list and you call the next one. Well probably maybe now someone's violent for you, but um nevertheless, it's insane. And I just want to add a little side game we can all play with my boy. He is Sebastian. We all know he is. I can honestly say I haven't seen Oh wait, I did see a clip when I presented you the Comedian of a Year award, but I don't remember what you were wearing in the clip for the special. I do remember, and we all know this about Sebashian. He is cutting edge, on the cutting edge of fashion coming out of Los Angeles, California. So when the special comes on, everyone have a piece of paper and write down who in your life do you think, most likely if anyone would wear what Sebastian's wearing, and then you compare it during a break Well, there's no break there's no commercials with the person you're with. Who who? Who is that cutting edge now? Is because your outfits tend to be these days. I love you a style. It's a style. You know when someone is a style that you you're digging this style and it's perfect for them, but it's something that you couldn't pull off. Oh yeah, yeah, so that's yeah. Like Tom Papa has a very specific style for doors. I'm used to joke with him when we're thirty that he couldn't wait to be fifty. But he's got a classic, older, classic style. You got a cutting edge, modern man look. I'm looking forth to see him. I know I'm gonna get ripped the shreds on the shirt I wore, especially from Jimmy from Boston. I've been already getting it online with with the shirt, it's almost like almost looks like a priest biblook. But I really like the It was really elastic. It gave me a lot of room to move in. Plus I thought it was actually I saw Timberlake wear the shirt, so I went to Timberlake route on the shirt. There you go, Hey, if you came out and just a button shirt and slacks or even when I was wearing people would be disappointing. You got to be pushing the envelope, baby oh ship. So yeah, I'm curious to see what the outfit reviews are after Saturday Night's airing. But yeah, it came out pretty good. I think it's I'm sure it's awesome. I hope people enjoy it. What's up in TV Land? Oh? What's up? Man? A lot of special guests we filmed today with I guess I could say because he's gonna take live tomorrow and then when we're on people know Ray Romano. Nice. Did you get to meet him? Well? I met him, So he actually came in and just just a wave and we were writing, but he just waved he low and I said hello. But he's gonna be back tomorrow, so yeah, all right, Yeah man, those guys, it's like, you know, you see him and Kevin together and you're like, it's a pretty legendary man for TV. Yeah, there's a two of the big heavyweights. Two guys had two hit shows and now he's coming on for a guest starring role. Do you I mean we we talked offline. I don't think this is any secret. Uh, And I'm not going to say, of course, what we discussed, but every once in a while, Pete and I will will do a call early on in the week, will kind of swap stories that we maybe can't tell on the cast. Not that they're bad or anything, it's just more of a personal thing. So you know, you you kind of fill me in on inside joke, inside joke cut of things that's going going out in your life, but not not not cast worthy, but definitely friendship worthy. So Pete and I discussing things earlier on. But what's uh, what can you discuss? Uh, not necessarily with the show, but well life man, let's start light, Let's start light. Uh. I had to stop at the bank and to run two errands. Now the jackies, now you have to go to bank and I had to get a stamp mail bill, which was like, holy shit, it's like chopping wood for me. It was insane, just the idea of running an errand like that. But during my morning errands going into both the bank and the post office, noticed something that I've also seen frequently at red lights and call me misogynistic. Got a problem with it. Don't really think it's acceptable, and it's the I'm saying it the working woman coming out with the wet hair. They don't have time to dry the hair, the whole wet hair, like, let it, let it dry, it work. I don't have time, you know, with the full blazer on. Yeah, I you know, listen, it's part of the obligation. I didn't make the rules. I don't want to pull up the red light and see poodle guy. I'm not happy with you. Listen. And I know what the kids and all. I know it's very busy, But I'm just saying, if I was a boss and you were gonna be on time with wet hair, I'd say I'd rather have you five minutes late with dry hair. So, yeah, you're you're saying that a dry head of hair in the workplace is definitely something. Uh that too casual? What what is it? Yeah? I mean, you know, a woman in the summertime and the summer day, he's been in the pool and all that. It's very sexy. I love it almost everywhere else. But we got the business suit on. We're coming in with the wet hair and the sneakers. I mean, why don't we just put the bed in the office too. Yeah, but half dressed here, what are we doing? And the sneakers with with the dress? Can we can we lose that? Look? I know it's a long walk, but you know, it's just it don't look right, you know. I feel like the job of being a woman starts and then you walk out the door. Ohly shit, I wonder who I'm voting for next November. Jesus, I'm sorry, I'm ladies. I'm totally kidding, you know, but I'm wondering. I really am kidding, and I'm exaggerating about like the obligation and I know, ladies, freaking being a mom and everything else. It's insanely ridiculously hard to do it all. But I'm wondering, like when a woman sees a man unshaved, even to the point where that you know, when the beard starts to run the neck hair is the beer it's meeting the chest hair. Um, do they give us a free pass, like, oh, maybe spend time with his kid this morning and he's busy or like you, right, if they're like you, he should shave, then oh you should hit that with a blow dry. I don't know. Do you think that is a big enough thing where a woman would say, oh wow, he's unkempt. Or is there a man equivalent of the woman's wet head? Well, for example, when I worked front desk at a hotel, my boss was really cool, but he made it we had to be clean shaven unless you wore a mustache, which I didn't, but you had to be clean shaven. And if I literally went a day without shaven, he would make me go down to the hotel barber and you know, for free user raise a blade and shave. And he was always cool about He's like, you gotta go shave. Meanwhile, I got women left and right that looked like they just did three laps before they came to work in a pool wet hair. I got wet hair all around me. I feel like they should have to go stick that under a dry I'm coming down there, I'm coming to check into a hotel. I might seeing a guy with a five o'clock shadow or a woman with the with the wet hair. You know, listen, as your star grows, you have to be more and more neutral in these things that I get that. So I'm with you. Man, wet head is unacceptable. Maybe it's not. I don't know. All right, I stand by it. If you are going to work and you got a wet head and you're dealing with people, and maybe, I mean, it may be different if you're in the back of the office and you're in a cube and kind of sees you right, yeah, But if you're dealing customer service and you're checking me into a hotel and you got wet head, and you know there could be a possibility of some water dripping up on the on the room cap. I look, if it's the look what moose, I get it. But if I'm gonna come back at noon and not recognize you because it dried out and you look at a completely different person, then so so let me ask you this. Then Let's say you're a businessman. You own a company, and you are going to have some sort of a presentation and one of your top employees is going to present and she's a female and she's just, you know, very good at what she does. You guys, get there, she's not she doesn't say she was running late or anything like that. She's just got long hair and it is literally like she just got out of a It's barely not dripping, that's how wet it is. Otherwise she's nicely dressed and ready. Maybe she's putting the sneakers off before she walks in and putting her heels on. But so she's going into your meeting with you with wet hair. After the meeting, would you say anything to her like, I prefer your hair not be wet? Or well, I don't know. Are we in the right if you are a business owner and you do not like the way somebody is either dressing or presenting themselves, and and it's your company, Uh, do you have the right as a business owner to say they listen? Uh? You know, were's some makeup? Or if it's a man if becomes without a suit jacket or whatever, can you tell them without get ensued too, you know, do what you want them to do in regards to appearance. That's a fine line, bro, That's interesting. You tell a woman she's got to wear makeup, she's got a lawsuit, she's gonna be on the phone with a Jewish lawyer before your halfway through the comment. Now, on the other hand, you turn around tell a woman or when you come on, wet hair. And by the way, any man and distance here no wet hair. Are you eat the guys? No, wet hair. Then you turn to a guy and just say I just had to say that just sort of chicks won't come on, you know. Is that pushing it too far? It's that's you know, you can't say weight obviously, ken you Uh no, I don't see. I don't know where you draw the line, though it depends what type of business that you're running. I mean, I don't know. Some some businesses tend to get away with a presentation as far as within their culture. I think Hooters had this problem where somebody suited them because as they weren't either well endowed up front or I think a man actually sued them because he applied to be a waiter. And it's like the whole thing is Hooters, you know. I mean, where do we draw the line when it comes to that? And which brings me to, uh, something that I used to deal with working at the Four Seasons and I want to get your take on it. Uh if the way, I'm gonna name my company dry Hat. I just had to get that out there. Woid that whole thing, all right? What happened at the fourth season. Can you tell someone either a coworker or what have you, if they have a cologne on. I used to work with a with a girl at the four season. She used to wear the worst perfume. Yeah, can you tell somebody you can't wear that perfume that? That is a fascinating question. I got a guy I work with right now. He's wearing a cologne he doesn't wear A two was strong, And I'll be honest with you, it's kind of fantastic smell and he's leaving just the right amount. And we've discussed this in his path and I find it pleasant. But it did get me to think, Wow, what if I didn't find that pleasant? And by the way, when I smoke cologne, it's like it is a little offsetting knowing a man just walk this path. I know you had a big cologne, guy, I know that we've talked about that in the past, that you're not a good But if you would, you would you say that this perfume makes you sick or you just don't like the smell, which like it was a perfume that when I was around her, like waiting to type in an order on the register, that when she would leave, that perfume was so heavy, Uh that you'd walk into it. You get like light headed, you know that type of So can I say either as a co worker or a business sown or you know what, that perfume is nauseating or we've had complaints around the office that it's a little uncomfortable. Is that kid? You get away with it? Man, I don't know. That's a delicate dance. Delicate dance. You don't know either way what you know how to how to handle that? So it's well, how would you handle it? How would you handle it? I would handle it in a sense where I would say I think I might be a little uh, I have a sensitivity or I'm allergic to whatever you're wearing because you know I'm breaking out in hives. Oh oh, so are you allergic to a particular ingredient, perhaps in my perfume, because I mean I prefer to wear a perfume. Yeah, I know you do. But what's happening with me is it's uh impeding my ability to get the job done. And uh, you know, I would really appreciate it. If you don't want to eliminate it altogether, Maybe we relax on the amount of spray as you're doing. How many times you're hitting that day, honey, Jesus, I tell you I couldn't tell a good wine from a bad one. I mean, except for a twist off. But I can really when I smell it cheap perfume. I'm not even a classy guy, but I can tell it cheap perfume. I think. I think it's just I don't know if it's cheap or too much, or the way it reacts with people. I mean, you could have a very expensive perfume and or cologne, which we have to find out what the hell the difference is, uh, and spray it on someone, smell fantastic on one person and it smells like awful on another, based on how the pheromones react with the product. Calm on, man, I'm not kidding really, Oh that I don't. That's like taking it to a level with maybe a well you do say you haven't those of a bloodhound, so maybe somebody like you. But what I can't say about perfume, though, is generally speaking, if I smell perfume within ten years, I can tell you give it take ten years the age of the woman who's wearing it. Oh that's a good good. Uh. So if you don't see the person and you walked into a room that they just left. You could go, yeah, well, between forty four and fifty four, maybe I'll be up by a couple of years. But yeah, because listen, there's basically a handful. There's the there's the teenage is the teenage one that you know, smell that coming a mile away? It's almost got candy to it. Then you then you get into the the in between years, that between the twenties and the and the forties. There's people in there. I can get confused. But then once you get over fifty, it's all fucking Titanic perfume. You know. Oh, I can smell my mother a town away. Do you think they make cologes specifically for older women or do older women attracted to different sense over the course of time. Do you think the nose starts to I don't know, I don't want to say sophisticate itself, but do you think it starts to pick up senses that they wouldn't pick up I'm sorry, sense that they wouldn't pick up saying their twenties or thirties again, man, I mean, Jesus, are we some goddamn coffee talk? Do we give him here? Ah? This is a This is a fascinating question because like I think, you know, I think to one of your points, I think older women then noses tend to It's like, you know, I didn't like liquorice as a kid. You reach a certain age as an Italian man, I love liquorice. I get it now. And I think a woman's nose, as it gets older and develops, they start to like distinct older what we call older smells now because all the women like them, and then the perfume guys go, oh, they seem to like that pine mixed with pot pourri smell. We should we should steer into that, you know, yeah, you know, it's it's funny. You do bring up a good point in regards to food. Growing up, never a big Brussels sprout, guy, Now love Brussels sprouts. What the hell happened? Right? You know? I I eat stuff now that my kid looks at me like, how are you not? I'm chucking that right now? It's insane. So it's just yet, it's like a natural I don't know, and I know, like my mom with perfumes is well aware of what a perfume, you know, if she smells once she's like, oh, that's that's that's that's you know, I'm a little beyond that. Now that's her polite way of saying, that's for a younger woman. So I don't know. I mean, even the smell gives. It's what the smells giving off, you know, the vibe of the smell. Man, I guess, so interesting on on perfumes, cologns, wet heads, the whole thing. In the work environment. I mean, you're a guy who you know, typically works alone. You go on stage, so you don't really have any coworkers. But now you're kind of inserted into a group of whatever twelve fifteen writers that their uh, personal choices might affect your ability to enjoy your day. Yeah, it's about seven of them in the room. But now not only great, right, it's but classy people. So hygiene is not a problem. I will say, I wear the same jeans all five days in a row. And you know, like by day two I got pizza sauce on on one of my pair. But by day three, as I was going into work, I was in the car, the pizza sauce had dried, so I was able to use my fingernail to scrape it off beautiful. I fulfilled a lot of people's predictions about me. I've become a real scum bag. You know. I always changed the shirt, although a couple of times I've even one the same shirt two days in a row. And I'm really wondering, do you think people notice? Because nobody I feel notices I'm wearing the same jeans every day, and even if I go to like I do the other day, said I'm wearing the same outfit. I got stuck here overnight. I'm like, I have no idea what you were wearing yesterday. Bro. Yeah, I think with jeans it's hard to tell unless the genes have a specific uh. I don't like a rip or a tear in the pocket. I remember I saw this guy at our TV show. He came in with the same genes because he had a specific rip in the knee, and I looked at him different after that. Although I wear the same jens multiple days in a row. But I think once you tell that someone's got the same genes on once, you could tell I think that that they're like, it's okay if you do it, but if you find out they did it, it's a it's a problem. Yeah, dude, that's no different than walking down the side walk with no tissue and putting your finger over one nostril and blowing snot in the ground. If no one's around to see that, that's no problem. The minute they see that, that then you're a slug. The same thing with the pants. That's how I feel. You don't know I'm wearing them over and over. Then what's no problem? The minute you know I'm a dirt poult. Why you never do the snot rocket? Well, listen, we called it a farmer's blow. That makes sense, man, do you farmers blow? I love in public? You've done that where you're just outside on the sidewalk and just, you know, just shot one into the lawn. I'd say between fall through winter, the average to a day, if I'm outside long enough, he's in your nose. What's not news? Guy? You're in You're out there in a dry l a whether most of the time. This is this is East Coast man. I'm mean, I do gotta go to hanky more. He got away from that Jackie. Throughout my bandanas, I used to use his hankies, which I like you used to take out a bandanna. Blow your nose and then put it back in your pocket. I never understood that more. Oh, bro, I don't know how I got away from this. I used to carry around a bandanna specifically has to blow my nose. But man, until you have a bandanna on you, you have no idea how much you need a bandanna in a day like like I'll just give you three examples right at the top of my head. Man. Oh, you're driving in your car. You got your coffee and the coffee holder your banger, right, and the coffee which drives me nuts, spills out of the unspillable dunkin Donuts coffee holder and gets in the ring. And now your whole cup is like in a little puddle of coffee and you're at a red light. Ah, that's gross. It's gonna dry against sticky. I got no napkins. I forgot to get more dunkin Donuts napkins. Oh wait, I got my bandanna. Lift up the mug to a wrap around the ring, dry it out, try the bottom of the mug, put it back in, put the bandanna. And a little later on in your day, Oh, I'm playing with my daughter at a playground. I want to go down the slide, Daddy, Okay, get up top, Sadie. She's up top looking. Oh Dad, it rain last night the slides west. No, it's not because daddy's got a banda how like a beach towel. How how much absorption rate does the bandanna? It's not the absorption rate, bro, it's the dry rate that will blow your mind. You understand what I'm saying. It's like, now I get the hanky. I'm like, how are you using a hanky? Day? You blow your nose in a in a bandanna two three times? Right, it's pretty wet, especially in certain parts. And then you wipe a slide with it, and now it's so you take that bandanna, give it a twofold put in your back pocket. It's like a microwave oven. Bro. Within a half hour, the whole thing's dry again. It's stay. It's staying. I'm not denying that. You gotta go. You gotta change the bandanna ally, but but you'll you'll do a snot into a bandanna and then use that later on to white coffee off the mug? Yes, yes, what do you What is not that? Bro? What am I gonna look at the mug and go hi, mus the mug. Do you mind that I blew my nose with the bandanna before you? What the just talking about that and coffee mix? I mean, I would think you would have a separate snot rag, and then you would have a bandanna, possibly for all other use. I don't think the handkerchief with the blow in the nose should be used as a multipurpose rag. Well, listen, when I'm walking down a side street, I'm always going with as you would say, the farmers blow. I mean, you're not just gonna use the bandanna for the sake of it. That's if you're in a rock and a hard place in the dentist office waiting or something like that. But you just after the farmers blow, you just do a light dab. You barely even went in a bandanna. I mean, you'd be surprised. What days than not. You you could go the whole day without need it, then you have another day where you need it endlessly. It's it's a crap game, bro, But trust me, you'll be so glad you have the bandanna that you don't even care that it's got a coffee stain because you used it three hours earlier. You'll just be ecstatic that you got it again. Man. But but you don't have the bandana anymore. This has been eliminated from the repertoire by Jackie's basically somehow from the move after we had Sadie and then we were temporarily at my mother in law's and the move into the new house. I haven't relocated my bandanna is She says, she'll get around to get and I keep forgetting to get them and uh. And then the thing is, once you buy him, you gotta wash them like about four or five times in a row just to get that used choccy. Look. I don't do the farmer's blow at all. I find that repulsive. I just I just in I can't do it where I don't get the snot on my face. I mean, I've tried it before. It just doesn't come naturally to me. I just started doing the blow of the nose in the shower. You ever pull that move? Oh yeah, I mean the pharm is blow in the shower. Yeah. Yeah, just just started just cleaning it out in the morning. So what would you do if you're walking down the Chicago sidewalk and you find yourself where running nose and you have no tissue? Uh, what do I do it? Like that? Really put yourself in that position? Man, I would, you know, take the back of my hand and maybe kind of wipe my nose a little bit. So you're trying to tell me that somehow that's less repulsive than a quick finger to the other nostril. Oh done, Yeah, I mean, jeez, you're doing the white on the nose. It's just like, you know, just just like to kind of make sure it doesn't drip. I just couldn't comfortable blow my nose freely out in public on a street without being, you know, super conscious of somebody catching that. Oh well, I mean I would almost I would almost say on on my left pinky finger. I've never been busted ever doing it, except I do it in front of my wife and she gets she gets gross. I mean I've done it in front of her and she just gets so mad and angry. Um. But you know, man, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. But I gotta be honest, man, you will move is what a lot of people do in the city. Right before, he asked me for a dollar, because there are dollars short to get back to Jersey on the path, wiping the back of your hand. I mean, I really feel like that's someone standing in a glass house. I don't know, man, I think more people would do like a swipe hand uh move, rather than I've seen. But well, we're both assuming. Well, let's be honest and say, well, assuming both of our methods are not being seen by anybody except our own self. I'm not doing mine in public, man, do you understand I'm being honest. So let's say no one's seeing you wipe your nose with the back of your hand, and no one's seeing me blow a farmer's thing. I really don't see you as being any less gross in mind, man, But the farmer thing. What I'm saying, if I were to do a farmer's blow, it's not a guarantee that the farmer blow is going to clear my face, So it actually might hit my lip or I might get it out of my cheek. I don't know where that's going, you know what I'm saying, No, I do, And that's funny. And then then when when that happens, which is rare with me, it's it's it is that moment of oh my god, what am I doing Jesus animal. Yeah, and I've seen people from across the street do a farmer's blow and automatically that person I have a funeral in my head for that. Oh man, it's listen. I I'm admitting I do it, but I've seen it and it's absolutely disgusting. It's a horror. I would rather be a spectator to your move by far than to my move, no question. Yeah, I agree with that wholeheartedly. But you should get a handkerchief. I know you're not gonna do a bandana. That's just I might do a hanky, but I just I don't like a lot of stuff in my pocket on a day to day. Yeah, the keys. I get like nervous when I got changed in my pocket. It just don't feel right, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I don't like change. And and then like, do you ever see the guy who jiggles it? Man, there's still the jiggles out there. Because I'll be honest, if I have changed in my pocket, I've I've caught myself dulling the jiggle. It's just it doesn't belong. But but let me ask you this then, man, because while men in here trying to figure this out as well. You of one weather a lot in California where you can't wear jackets to have the pockets. And I hate the summer in New York because I go with Jackie got me this listen. I don't want to get into the whole satchel aspect of it, the joke, but it looks like a satchel um. But it's just the right size for everything I need. And it's this leather thing and it's cool and it's it's kind of pricey and it's coach. It's cool. So it's like, not just but every time I wear a guy's called a purse. I mean just every time. And like, do you have any recommendation for the guy going out on a Saturday night in about you know, seventy five degree weather where he just wants his keys, maybe some saline solution of his context, maybe some cigarettes if he does that, his wallet, handkerchief, his cell phone, without a purse, do you have anything to recommend, bro? I don't think a guy going out should have anything other than is cell phone and wallet. I mean, after that, where are we gone? Okay? If I wear contact lenses, if I go out in the middle of the night. One of those is drying out, even the drops, which I barely ever use. I always go out with a spare contact. I'll be in the bathroom if if I ever have to, and I almost never do, maybe never, but if I did, if I haven't a good time out with friends and one contact is it falls out, bro, my night is sucks and I may as well have the hiccups the rest of the night. I see. I can't speak to that because I don't wear contacts, and I don't know how that is. But the let less I have on me, the better, man. I I just don't see all chapstick shades. What about your shades? What about your shades? I wear sunglasses and then I'll hook them off my T shirt. That's not annoying all night, Uh it is. But I will not wear sunglasses if I'm gonna bleed my day in tonight. I love that move. The last time I get out of the car, Even if it would look fantastic to walk into the restaurant as the sun's coming down with the shades on, it ain't worth the walk out with them in my hand. Not thirty man, right right? I find it rarely do I ever have my shades past sundown. On me, I will plan the day where those shades will be tucked away, either in the car, hotel room, or the house. If if I leave the house at twelve and I need shades, but I know I'm not returning till midnight, i go no sunglasses the whole day. Yeah, and then there's somebody hanging out and he was looking over you at eight o'clock. Brow. He was so smart. I keep forgetting where, you know, because that's what happens man, when you can't wait your pockets in the winter, I always end up babysitting like five items. Like when I'm playing the cell of this last weekend, it's like right before I go on stage, right next to the sound booth, I gotta put my cell phone and my car. Actually know what I've been starting to do, which you take on this. I parked my car at the Hicksville train station on Long Island, right by where my apartment is, and I take the train in to do spots so I don't have to deal with driving. But when I get out in Hicksville, because I try to lessen my load and I didn't want to go with the person this last time, So I was just going when I can put my pan pockets when I do now, I've been doing it all towards the end of the summer now and jack Jackie's got a problem with it. But when I get out of the outback, I take the car keys, lockout, obviously, lock everything, and then I hide them on the inside of one of the hub caps of the car so I don't have to carry him around. And then when I come back, I just dipped my fingers into the inside of hubcath and fish him out. Yeah. I don't like that move, man. I do not leave any key around in and or outside the car ever. I I did that once, even in the garage that that we are living in now this apartment complex, I left the key in the wheel well of the car, and I was afraid to do that, even though that it's a secure parking lot. I don't like leaving the car and the key together. Unattendant, I'm sorry, it's not my move right well that you're making me. I thought you that your story was gonna end when a guy found him, because now you got me wondering. You think there are guys that troll the parking lot, checking the wheel wells because not necessarily checking the wheel wells. But for whatever the reason, I don't know. Here's here's an example. You get told the wheel the the key falls out of the thing. Now you've got no key to the car. I thought about that. I absolutely thought about that. Man, you're right, yeah, and and and just my luck, I would come across the guy who is checking the wheels to steal the car. Well, what I do after I put him in the hub cap? I walk away ten ft and do the walk by and see if my eyes are drawn to the hub cap in any capacity, and then I pretend they. I'll do a few practice walk pods where I look over and just see what I look, what I look, And if I did look, if I did the quick look, if I did a long look, can you see him at all? And I was like, now you really you would have to stop and stare at the hub cap to see that. Yeah, no, I I get that. Move, But it's a lot of work, you're right, And and the keys are cumbersome when you're out because you know, nowadays you've got the key fob you got you know, the keys aren't small. So I'm we haven't come up with a way where we could start the car with the cell phone. Wow, man, that's that doesn't exist. I know you would think it would be. Yeah, maybe the Tesla has it, but just to eliminate keys altogether. I know they have the option with an app where you could open up your home now with your cell phone on an app where all the locks are electronic. It's alve wireless, so you could actually let's say, here's an example. I'm out of town and you're like, hey, man, I need a place to stay, and I'm in let's say Florida. I said, all right, download the app. I'll give you the code, and with that code, you could get into my house. Now I could check on my app to see if you unlocked the door, and what time you unlocked the door, if you locked it when you left, all through the app. Not a bad way to not a bad way to kind of keep track. If you say you've got a housekeeper, when she comes and goes, instead of leaving a key or given a housekeeper key, you now can kind of keep track of when she comes, when she goes. And let's say you fire a housekeeper, you can eliminate her code so she doesn't have access to your house anymore the housekeeper, aren't you. See I don't want to point singles, but I'm missing about a thousand dollars and play money. What you took it? See? We need more lemon plate. I just wanted to say, a guy, I've been doing some clothes shopping here on Long Island at the malls, and they're just crazy bro birs some much. You want to do a Sebastian's Fall fashion that's yeah, man, Luke, you're the music. All right, Here we go. Sebashian's Fall Fashion tip Number one, get yourself a nice scarf. You're gonna start to feel the chill of the fall, especially in the night times, and there's nothing nicer than wrapping yourself up in a nice wool scarf. Number two. If you're one of these guys that walks around and one of these north face or bubble type jackets in the fall, I mean you're gonna look foolish. I just I want to go up to these guys. Tell you, you, guy, it's not winter yet, so get yourself an ice windbreaker or a leather jacket that's gonna go well with everything else. You got a number three. I know it's not beach season anymore or anything. But it's nice to have a little color on your skin. I'm not saying go crazy, don't want to walk around your neighborhood and look like a piece of baked brashoot, but ten fifteen minutes under the tanning bed or a little spray tan never killed anybody. Nice but not least. I think I shared this before. Well, I told you last week. I don't smell, but it's nice to give yourself a little bit of an upgrade now. And then there's a colode called creed Adventus. I mean, if you've got the just for this thing. It's a little bit of a pricey side, but it is a musk by if you don't feel like you could throw down that much this season, uh don't. Gobada is also good. Just get yourself so kind of collode to really to really give yourself that extra little something this season. And I just wanted to add me for me personally, it's nice to be clean shaven in the summer, but when fall comes around, a little five o'clock shadow or a little facial hand really really adds something to the look, like uh, you know, like a Brad Pitt or a John hann type. Look, you know what, I don't know listen back to that just sounds a little bouncy. Look when you get around to this, you know what to do. Shut it down, Shut it down. I think we've gotta take a n this is off topic. I just wanted to say. I know, I forget, I got it and caps myself. Man, I'm literally for the first time in the show, I'm actually taking a knee, bro I really am physically, But go ahead continue, Man, can we uh could we just have a quick moment of silence for the the end of Watt season? I mean, I go, there, we go. I don't, I can There's no words. There's no words, man, I mean I thought this guy was indestructible, and uh, this is not a knock against him, but when when when a guy in that ilk goes down and has to uh and has to sit out the season. Man, it's a it's a ball. Hey, listen. I studied Greek mythology in college, and even Troy cramped up once or twice during battle, So I made all that up. But yeah, man, uh man, you know, I mean, listen, the only thing you can't say is that there it is uh such the nature of the beast with that sport to just you know, oh, hey, one minute when we're rock and rolling, next minute, you know you're gonna be okay, but you're not gonna be back till next year. Jeez, Louise. Yeah, it's it's devastating, but he'll snap back and get back on the horse. They're getting, no doubt, but it's gonna be uh, especially when it happens in the beginning of the season, you know. I mean they start the season two and one I think it was, and they're off to a good start, and now this happens. So yeah, prayers go out to what who who's sitting out the season, But he'll come back a hundred and I would honestly say if what came forward and said, anyone who knows me knows that I don't take time off. I just reavert my free time into something else positive. And I am now putting my hat in as the independent runner for the President of the United States of American. Did you did you take a look at the the debates. I saw much of the highlights, read a lot about it. Yeah, m hmm, Yeah, I don't know what to say. People don't like they just talk about that anymore. I know, I know, I'm just a couple of things. I have to say that Hillary Clinton, the way she presented herself during the debate seemed very kind of organized and set up and well thought out, you know, very very politician like, you know, kind of expressed some of her her viewpoints in a in a way where she took some time to prepare. It almost looked like she was reading off a teleprompter. Well, I mean it was that kind of thought out where Trump, this guy's Trump reminds me of me doing a like book report in front of the class. I just kind of just figure it out when I get up there. And I'll quote an incredible Spanish language film I watch in Univision, and this is for the Mexicans who aren't rapists and murderers. Soilent green Esa, Soilent green esmoatas well. Did I alienate enough of you? Who did I alienate? Were you a kind of prepared for like speeches and whatnot like in front of the class. No, man, I was a bullet point guy. You know that. I had like three bullet points, and I'm gonna advance the each one, you know, like John you, and we'll be in and out. That's how, you know, that's how we always roll guys like me and you. Because the person that starts talking really intelligent stuff. I zoned, Oh man, oh god, I know I heard this before. I know, I didn't listen to this before. All. Like, yeah, she she had like notes, she had like a folder. I think Trump came out with nothing, just no paperwork. No, not that this this guy just went off the cuff. Which you gotta appreciate the fact that it's entertaining whatever now you think about each candidate, it's entertaining just to watch Trump kind of fly off the handle and and and and interrupt and and it's I don't know anyone William people watched it. Well, you know it's funny because then I talked to Jackie about it. And my wife is an extremely intelligent woman, and she takes this stuff as far as her vote. She really takes the time to be fully vested in the information and make a She's really responsible with a vote. I respect that very much about her, whereas I'm much more like heated, as we both know. But but anyway, we're talking about it stuff and she's like, you know, she's funny. She said, she listens to watch all things. She said everything you said. Hillary was really prepared. She's obviously extremely telligent woman, and she knew what she was saying. And she's like Trump was just like kind of all over the place, and she goes. But then in the second half he started to like get it together a little more, and you know, you know, he was saying that, well, what she's doing is hasn't been working. And I was like, right, and then but then Jackie's like, but you nobody's not saying what he would do. And I go, and this is where all men need to step up the big tea fans, if we're going that route, we need to educate the women that are so turned off by his his lack of manners. Fuck, I mean ship. But it's like it's it's it's like you know that that uncle. You're like, oh, he means well, so Jackie's saying, but he's not telling me how he's gonna get what he's gonna do, And I go, that's because he's not gonna insult you by by having you think that he's got the answer to education to this that he doesn't. He will get the guy who does man. I mean I have always felt bro insulted by you know, all these politicians coming up acting like they have all the answers, and then we pretend that we need to have all the answers because they're not gonna do half the things they say that. I don't expect them to have all the answers. I want an expert, man, I want an expert. And that's what Trump saying. I'll get the guy. I get the guy. Yeah, I mean you bring up a good point, Like you know, someone asked me when you do the remodel, how are you going to do the hardwood floors. I get a guy to do it. Yeah, you're not gonna tell me how you're gonna do it. You'd sound ridiculous. Yeah, you're gonna get the best guy. Say, yeah, bro, we got a big on here. All right, all right, there's a lot of opinionated people in my life. Out of females. I'll just leave it at that, to put it loosely. And this isn't talking about my wife but this particular thing. But you know Trump, what was the other thing? They show old clips of Miss America one miss Miss America some year ago sometime and then that whole year that they parade around it's Miss America. Trump's Miss America spreading goodwill you follow me on this? She she gained a bunch of weight. So Trump got mad at it, and he said and he said things upwards of even calling her Miss Piggy. I may have said that's disgusting. I may have said something else. I thought it was terrible, terrible words, rude, rude words to say about a woman. But the core of it here is this is business. And when you Miss America for one year, Yeah, you can't be sucking down Hamburgers, honey. I mean you you won because you've got the nicest car, and now you want to parade around in a dot. I mean, what are we doing? This's is like that was the deal. And I don't want to sound You'll put you're making me look bad, But that's the It's like the Hooties thing man you calling the hood is you don't want to see a guy. You don't want to see a guy. That's not the deal. I want to see Miss Universe. I don't want to see Miss Universe that's been on the couch for six months. This is just this. I know, you see my point, And they always it's not like. It's not like he's walking down the street going she's a pig, She's not. He's like, come on, dude, It's no different than when a professional team uh pays big money for a basketball player or a football player and then he comes to training camp and the coach goes, he's a fat slob, and if he does, they literally say that, And if he doesn't get get himself in shape, we're gonna call fucking agent. This is not what this isn't the same fucking guy that signed I mean, what did he do? Meet ball sandwiches all the way home have to sign a contract with the fuck So it's business. And that's why you're gonna love and hate Trump because he's got the goal to call out a woman for gaining weight for a year that was not supposed to and he's gonna have the goal to call out companies that don't follow up and do that paid. Oh and by the way, when people say, oh, Jackie goes he doesn't pay taxes, I go jack when he says I don't pay taxes, Like, first of all, he pays federal taxes. Right, that's been proven it's fact. You can look it up. He pays him. But when when she goes to Hilary goes, you don't pay federal taxes, goes, well, that would make me smart. And everyone's like, well, what does he mean by what he means is your system is broken? There's away from me legally to barely play more taxes than Joe Schmo. Okay, yeah, and I'm telling you that. And why wouldn't I take advantage of that. I'm a businessman. I'm a businessman. I I agree there are ways that you could get a round. And he knows, uh, you know, he's got people that probably all the rich do they they move maneuver around the tax code where they could pay less because they could divert income or whatever. I think, what's his name? Does that the the what's the old man that's got the Berkshire Hathaway? What the wealthiest guy? The old guy? He's eighty two years old? What's his name? Uh? Good gold guy? Oh Man? Who's rich? No? Walmart guy? Walton? No? What's the oh? God? Right? What's that guy's guy? It looks like he's like a grandpa. The guy from Olmaha, Nebraska. What the Buffett, Warren Buffett. Yeah, isn't he the Walmart guy? That's right? No, Warm Buffett, Warren Buffett, Yeah, yeah, Warm Buffett. I think he declares like fifteen percent because his income is off dividends from his company or something something like that. I don't know the ins and outs of it, but there's ways apparently that you could get around it. And that's all I think Trump was saying was he's smart that he knows the ways to do that. And if it could save you money as a person who's working nine to five, if you could get around paying less taxes, would you go, Nah, I want to pay more? Who nobody would do that? Man? That doesn't make any sense to me. What you're saying is you might be the guy for the job because we're being very inefficient with our money here man, And and you know the idea of you know, why are we paying money to break up fights that have nothing to do with us. I've always been a fan. I've always been a fan of that man, Like, let's stop doing it. But anyway, you know, as far as him being rude and stuff, ladies, men, I know he is. And I'm not saying vote for him. I'm just saying, yeah, maybe it might be worth trying to look past that a little bit if you can and listen. I don't know any more than you. Maybe he'll win and go uh oh, it turns out my guys unavailable and everything's a ship fun. I don't know what to tell you. I'm Donald Trump and I approved this message. I'm just trying to entertain you. And bro, I mean, I don't have time. I'm all right in the sitcom over here. I don't got time to go back and re listen to this. Was that way too misogynistic so far? I mean some of my comments women, it's just listen, this has so much respectful one, so much respec strictly for entertainment purposes only now if you go off out of tangent and do things for the sake of com. But that's what we're all about. We don't got to apologize for nothing. That's alright, cool, cool. I did that last show. I threw down an apology beforehand. Isn't have time to edit. Oh that got people were all over me for that move. Hey, everybody, it's Jimmy. Listen. I didn't never do this, but I just needed you know, to apologize really, you know, because I said some things and that call there in the beginning. Over the past four years, really, I've said a lot of things and a lot of my my calls and I'm just trying to take a cue from p D. And I guess we're supposed to apologize for that stuff. So anyway, let me just apologize to p D. You know, Biscuit, Lou, j J. Watt, Refrigerator is all the clients. It's really, um, Look, they're just jokes. I'm sorry about the whole thing. So everybody out there, all of you, you know, please understand. I apologize, and it's just just jokes, you know what I'm saying. All right, Lou, bring him back to the show. Thank you. Sorry, Sorry, don't worry about Yeah, it's it's just it's entertainment. Man, We're not up there. Uh listen, we're comedians. We'll just make fun of life and the way it kind of works out once in a while, that's all. Yeah. So so listen, I don't know, I hope you're not in a rush, because I got two more things I gotta share with you. What you got? What you got? The first one is a bit of an out of body experience. Man. So I go up to the Comedy Seller the other night, I have one one more spot, Togo. I guess I sit back down at the table that Vince Vauham was at last time. Ho, guess who's sitting across from me this time? Ray Laoud? Oh yes, And I have to make it crystal clear. A very funny comedian, Dove David Dolph is on the TV show That Raised On. So Ray was down there with him. So, but yeah, he's hanging out the Comedy sell a table. Uh. Got to chat with him for a couple of seconds. Um, and then Uh, I God damn, I'll be honest. I got it. This is what we do on the show. I hit him with this. I can't even tell you what I said to him. I can't even tell you. No, I can't. I can't even do it. I can't even do it. Bro, I can't. I promised myself I would, so I after I, Mom, how do you lead into the leota and then you leave us handing like that? Man, the honesty that we do on the show, it gets a little heavy. Sometimes. I'm all right, all right, I'll be honest what I did, And I'm done, and I'm never doing this again. Okay. You know how I hit Vaughan with the the honesty about what I feel about and it was awkward, Okay, said after the whole Vaughan thing, which I said, I'm never doing that again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. When I see somebody that mattered that that that I'm a huge fan of. I held it back when I met Billy Joe because Kevin James was there, and can't you that that whole thing. You can't embarrass the man for introduce me. But when I'm out the comedy seller and my comfort zone and I'm doing my my thing downstairs, and you know, a big fish, small pond in this place, so I feel more. You know, you walk in. I love what you do. I mean, I'm gonna literally go, hey, nice to me. You ain't. That's bullshit, bro, you know this is what you meant to me. So I still don't get that that makes people uncomfortable. So I hit Vorm with that. Then I pulled back with it and we did have a fantastic conversation and fantastic man. Now, ray Leo, to let me preface this, sweet sweet man, nothing on him, but this is what I do. I promised myself I wouldn't do that again. I sit down, slide in to me st at the head of the table, and then Ray across from and st goes, oh, Pete, that like you do meet And then I look over and Ray goes, hey, how you doing. I'm Ray, and he reaches out. We shake hands and go hey, I'm Pete. He's got the freaking necklace that in down the shirt I gotta I'm fascinated with the story. Did he do the handshake he did in Good Fellas to the guy at the at the country club? Remember when Karen introduced him to that guy and he gave that kind of half handshake or was this a was this a welcoming handshake? No, this was you know, it wasn't that one, which I know, but no, this was. He was very warm and welcoming and it was Listen, it was my first look at literally neck and neck him and Michael Keaton, my favorite two actors of all time, with Vince Vaughan right on the tail. I mean, so when I came in for the handshake, you know, intimate low lighting to come. You know, it did have more of a movie field. But to me, that was like more than I could think about in the moment, shake his shake his hand. As we shake hands, he goes, nice to meet you. I'm right, and I go, hey, I'm Pete, and then Ste goes, Pete is actually one of the rights is on the new Kevin James sitcom. And he goes, oh, wow, that hasn't come on yet, right, And I think he said something about knowing Kevin or being a family. He hasn't. That hasn't premiered yet, right, And Uh. All I had to do right there, all I had to do is go, no, not yet. We're happened a great time. Kevin's very funny guys. No what do I do? What do I do? He literally goes, oh that doesn't permiliar, right, And I go, oh, man, hold on, st I look over at that stego and my lying when I say this two weeks ago, right where you were sitting Vince Vaulma City and Ste goes yesterday he was, and Ray goes, oh yeah, I go and Vince Vaughan is I go in. Vince Vaughan's like my third favorite actor. I turned around and who's sitting here? Two weeks later? My favorite actor? Dude? My lord, huge fan. You are unbelievable man. Pleasure to meet you, and he goes, oh, thanks, but he did do a little slight back off, as if, oh, so we're gonna have a casual thing. And it's not that he took the booth near the window so we could see everyone who drove up to the restaurant. He was jumpy. Getn't touched the thing. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but I think one of the most lovely important people in my life their lovely s d even was a little disappointed that I didn't just keep it, you know. Yeah, I'm righting for Kevin and having a good time here. What are you in town for? Right? That? I could have literally did that, So what are you in town for? Right? No? I go with dude, I got number three, your number one if I meet Michael Tree in the two weeks the hot trick, fucking yo, yo, smarting up Jesus. I remember it's passion. I remember you doing this and this is an old story but in the same environment. And I don't know, maybe it's the place, maybe it's comedy. So that you kind of did that to sign felt didn't you do some like awkward things with him and Pomp Papa. Oh, but that was yes, but that was years ago. Few Heineken's in and that was like, you know when they say the same my first rodeo, that was my first rodeo. So so that was really my first taste of it. And I mean, come on, man, I've I've I've hung out with John Mayor, I've done with Billy Joel. I know how to keep mine cool together, but it's like I'm literally meeting my favorite actors and you I just feel like I thought they'd be a little more into it. Hey man, you know so many people hold back with that, but it is actually nice to hear thanks. Only cops talk that way. So you felt like you got now from distance after the whole Hey, you're great, So do we get you or what happens from here? Well then he pulled back and did a sort of side lene and to talk and to talk much closer with st because the place is very loud, you know. But I think if I presented a better introduction than I did, he would have maybe stayed with the leaning look. I may be overthinking it with doing some comedy here, but nevertheless, I probably I could have stuck around for the work my way back in, you know sort of thing. But I wasn't gonna do any of that. So this is how it plays out. Though. Dove is on first and he comes up to me and he goes, hey, you're on second, Uh, you're on after me? Would you mind flip flopping? And I don't know if you've ever met him, he's a very nice guy, very nice guy, and he goes, would you mind flip flop? And I have some people that are coming to see me that I haven't gotten here yet, you know, and it's my last spot of the night. And you know, anytime you can help someone out like that, you do because you may be in that position. So I go, yeah, no, of course, and I go what do you want and he goes, I'm on first, and I go, oh, yeah, showed some problem. But listen, going first the seller is very annoying. Is it's they do the show so fast that the mc can only is allowed to be on for a certain amount of times. So when the first act comes on, the room is still literally half full, and like you know, most people might not even have their drinks by the time you get off as the first act, by the second act, everybody's nice and settled and the party's rocking. Now that's not to say that, you know, sometimes it's not great right out of the gate, but that tends to be the case. So yeah, so between you and me, and it still makes no difference because Dove is a nice guy and I was happy to do the favor. I'm not so sure I was waiting on anybody. I just don't think he wanted ray to see him doing the loading spot, you know. In my head anyway, I was like, hey man, it wasn't a Dove. I wouldn't even be saying hid Ray I would. I would't even have a chance to embarrass myself in front. So so I'm like, yeah, sure. So I go down and it luckily happens to be one of those nights where people settled them pretty quick, and I'm having a hooting holland great time up there. Happen so much fun lately on stage, and about halfway through my spot, ray Leyota comes down and you wouldn't know, but I know because I know he's there, you know, so I'm gonta I already and he walks right past, as you have to do with the seller, past the stage to go to the restroom. Nobody notices him because they're looking at me, and you wouldn't think too. So now you ever do this move any place you're playing, Like, uh, like my move is um when I know Ray goes in there. I got some nice stuff on the back end, new funny stuff, So like I do it in between jokes to give Ray some time to this. You haven't do that kind of movement, I don't see. The Seller is very unique where you could kind of, you know, see where people are. I mean these guys going to the bathrooms. You can kind of see that he went. But I know what you're saying. He got like, oh they're not in the room yet, let me out my good guns when they arrived. Yeah. Yeah, like what I used to do for years, because you play The Seller every night when you when you're trying to get better, if you pass there and lucky enough to and Colin Queen is one of the all the cats that'd be on every night, and you know, all the respect in the world for Colin Quinn and you learned so much from it. He's very supportive. So if Colin was gonna be on after me, and I knew it that would mean he would usually come down with his his glass of water, put it to the side, and use the restroom before he comes back and waits for me to finish. So if I had a new joke, only one new joke, I would wait till Colin was going to walk by the pea and I would say to joke as he's walking by, and then he'd come back at his water and I come over. He said, I want to go to bedroom. Heard that new one guy always right, always right, and I think I want new joke. I just tied it so in here. That would make me feel good. It's like when you're hiding cookies and your wife that you had one. No, yeah, I'm doing good, So hold on, give me one second. I want to grab a bruce, get a fridge holder. Don't buy wigs that come off at the wrong time. Maury's wigs don't come off even under water. You can remember. Maury's wigs are tested against hurricane winds. So don't forget money. You can afford a more. Admit every budchet, so call me now and coming in for a merci. Don't buy all right, so raising the bathroom right, So I wait till he comes out and not that it wait till he comes out and doing jokes. So when he comes out, I get the light. So what they do is if he's obviously coming down to get settled in to watch Dove, so there's um, what they do is have a little side bench inside. You're in the comedy cell of but a little side bench they open up for friends, guests and stuff like that. It's right by where the comedians stand before they go on when they come off. So he's sitting there and it's a low seed and he's catching like the last six seven minutes of my stuff. It's a great set. It's a lot of fun. And it was so trippy because he's so close and he's literally doing that good Fellas laugh where he's like ha ha and we're like this is this is fucking fun. So the guys just going to the blue trap. I put down the blue trap right in the crack by the stove in the cabin. That's where he kept coming out. I forgot about it. So next morning I come downstairs, I walk into the kitchen and you just love making sense something moving. I looked over smoking mouse and just looking at me, like what the fun is it, I mean next for four hours, I was looking at I don't know what to do. I was so stannard us. I made coffee, I made cool. I don't want to come to com mer Mouse just watching thinking it's like you make it call, You'll fucking make it down the house. It's like a Tarantino movie on the band decided really funny. And then when I come off, everybody's clapping and it's a lot of fun. And there's two comics that I know right there that want to, you know, give me a hug. Not just like, oh you crushed and you're unbelievable. They just hadn't seen me in a while, so they go to give me a hug. And as they do, uh, I just feel someone give me a little slap on my kneecap and it's lay outa leaning over and he's sitting there, you know, still in his seat, and he just gives me a little tap on the knee cap and he's like, you know, he's like funny stuff. Man loved it. Man loved it, you know, and you're like, dude, it's like, let's pass around the bread and have a glass of one. And I go, I go, thanks man, and left it at that, and I'm like, oh, there's some redemption. Imagine redemption. You dug yourself out of a hole with the humor. Well, and then I think literally when he gave me a nee tap and said that, I think in his head he was like, just say thanks and walk away, guy. Redemption. Yeah, which so, but I'm absolutely done. I mean literally, if I met the Pope, if you took me to Italy and you were doing a show inside the coliseum, the Pope was coming and you had him meeting me and Jackie backstage, I would still go, it's John, right, It's John. So you're not done, bro, I'm done kissing ass anymore. You're just gonna act like they're a guy. You Matt, a woman, you Matt, and play it cool. Now. I'm gonna keep the ass kissing to like my parents, your parents, any other people's parents, out of total respect. But famous people, they put their pants on us like us. That's what I'm gonna say. When I woke up to him. You put your pants on like me. You put your pants on like me. But wow, dude, when you put your pants on, can you all right? Anyway? Get will hopped up? Today? Everything is different. There's no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. I'm an average nobody, get to live the rest of my life like a schnook. All my packs. I'm ready to go. So I don't even know for legal purposes if we can go with this, but I'm gonna Pete came out today. Man, God hopped up. I got hopped up. They heard me yelling on the phone in my office, still making fun of me. Um, I'm trying to get out of my lease. What's the lease for a year? A year? Okay? And the problem is it's Uh, I'm not upstairs in Frank and Cathy's house and the renovated attic where it can where I can be like sneak out in the middle of the night, and the one say go fund yourself. I'm in a I'm in a corporation, so you know, like, um, you know, I don't know what I'm dealing with as far as how odd they would come at you if you just left in the middle of the night, like I mean, that's not what I want to do. But here's the bottom line, long and short of it is place is too big. Uh. I don't even know what I can say bottom line is trying to get out of lease. So it's for a year, and if you leave early they want you to they keep your deposit. And then they want you to pay two more months rent on top of that, and you have to give them two months notice before all that kicks in. Right now, the thing is they turned around rent these places the day you leave. So I call up and uh, I had to speak to a certain woman. So I say so and so there, and the woman I'm speaking to goes, uh no, she's not would you like to leave a message? So I said sure. So I leave a message with a woman and like less than a sentence, I tell her what I was out here doing. I tell her that I can't do it. I have to go home for a family emergency. Uh. Right between the lines for people to listen to our show, just you know, saying what you gotta say. You know what I'm saying, and if you can get back to me. So the next day, which is today, a call again like if the woman that I got yesterday that transferred me through the woman and she goes, I go, hey, is so and so available? And she goes, what apartment is this? In reference to So I say, my apartment, and then she goes, in total Long Island accent, she goes, I'm sorry if you don't mind me saying, is this the comedian Pete Corey Ellie right? So I go, yeah, it is and she goes, oh my god, I told my brother last night that I thought I spoke to you yesterday. And she's like, what big fans were coming to Gotham and I would love you and she's literally named bits and I'm like, oh, thank you. So I go. So, I go, well, let me ask you. Did you get tickets you of Gotham? No, but we're coming on the eighth And I go, uh, well, why don't you. I'll give you my phone number and I'll leave you some tickets. That would be so nice I could not would be my pleasure, you know. So and she goes, now, let me transy the blood to so and so. So I go, oh, is that like a different office. She goes, No, No, that desk is right next to me. So okay, So all right, obviously if a desk is next to you when you do the transfer, you're gonna say, by the by the way, when you pick up the guy's leaving me tickets for a show Saturday night. I'm a fan. Wouldn't you think, wouldn't you think? Uh No, I wouldn't think that she would relay the information to whoever was handling your complaint. A couple of reasons. They might not really be that close, or it's something that she got, maybe she wants to keep for herself and she doesn't want that person asking. So I would not think I would hold that girl on the phone and go and listen, I'm having a problem getting out of the lease. Could you do anything? That's where I would have went with it. Why the funk I'm so dumb. I'm so dumb. Yeah, because you just gave free tickets to someone for nothing. I mean, if that was the girl going to help you out, she would have that in the back of her head going, it's Pete. He's a comedian. Of course I'll let you out of the lease. Well yeah, okay, so so she transfers you and not what No, man, you're waking me up to this. First of all, maybe they don't have the leverage to actually do this. But here's the deal. As far as the tickets go, I do want to make crystal clear. I probably would have left this woman tickets anyway, because she was I don't between her and the lady at the Kennedy Appo, it's like a rarity. I don't know what's going on. I mean, so it was it was very nice to her, but nevertheless, um, I once the word got out in the office. Yeah, So she transfers me and the woman's not there, and she trances me back and she goes, so, Pete, would you like me to would you like to leave her voice message? And I go, oh, no, she knows what it's in regard to if you could just tell her a call. So then, um, in the writer's room and I can't pick up, and I get a message and it's from the woman that I'm trying to get hold of. And she goes, I got your message. I understand you need to get out of your lease early. Um. She goes, according to section sixty one, page twelve, it says you must pay, you must give two months notice in written form, you lose your security deposit and pay two months more rent. And I'm like, this lady's reciting the thing, the thing, What the funk would the ticket? What would be? So? All right? So then I have a break. I called back. I get a third woman, not the woman I offered tickets to, not the woman who's in charge who were recited me to think. And the woman says, who do you need to go? So and so the woman who you know recited a thing. And she goes, well, she's on the phone right now, or may ask what this is in regards to what I'm like, she knows what it's in regard to breaking the lease. So then she goes, well, she just said that she left you a message about everything. And I said, yeah, I got her message, but I was wondering if there was anything we can do with regard to maybe another option. I could be out of the place by tomorrow. If you need me to be um, you can show it while I'm not here. And and the woman's like, well, no, that's just the policy. So I said, well, when I leave, are you gonna re rent it? And she's like well yes, And I go, you have a waiting list. So the minute I'm out, you're gonna re rent it. You you can't re rent it and then charge me for the rent. You can't double charge. That's what we charge you to leave. I go, no, you're charging me two months extra to leave, and then you're gonna re rent it the minute I get out. Well, sir, that's what we do. I go, well, it'll. It also says below section twelve sixty one that this might be negotiable, and I was wondering if that might be negotiable. Well, she's on the phone right now, Well can you put me through to her message? And she's like, well, Sirry, I go no, no, no, no, miss ms ms listen, listen. I'm trying to be really nice about this. I'm trying to be really nice about this. Okay, So why don't you just put me through to the other lady? All right? And then she puts me through and it's the other lady's voice message again. Bro. I'm so I'm like, I'm learning acting watching acting, because I go from mad mad man with this lady. Now I get message, I go, let's say his name is Nancy Hip With that way, I go, Hi Nancy, it's peak calling back, and I'm just calling with her, and I come so smooth and cool as if the lady I just went off on isn't going to tell the lady I'm leaving the message too. He just yelled at me now, so I leave my message again saying I understand this is negotiable. It looks like at the bottom of it, I was wondering if that's possible. Um, because I spoke with Bro. I love to lay this down my boy, Ray the lawyer, I always, oh God, who would help you out on hatpeop? Bro, He's there for us, ray A, that's all say. But I go because I spoke to my lawyer who said that you can't double rent. So I just feel like when you say you spoke to you lawyer, do you think it gives a slight knee shake or do you think people don't even it's a it's a bluff that call me on? Do you think that does that put a little scare anyone? If you say conversationally, well, I spoke to my lawyer. I spoke to my lawyer. Oh that's I think. Spoke to my lawyer and you will be getting a call from my lawyer are two different things. I think the call from the lawyer puts a little who this guy's got a lawyer. I think I spoke to my lawyer and they could literally they could take it or leave it. Well, well, Ray, my lawyer said that He's like, I'd be happy to make a phone call if you think that would help. I wish I was rich. This guy would be my lawyer. This guy gets ship. Don oh so I said, well, I said anyway, I said, I left a message saying because my lawyer. When I spoke to my lawyer, he said this. So I'm just trying to see if this is possibly a negotiable. And I left that message. And that's where we're at. And my question to you is, let's assume all three of these women have desks side by side. Do you think the woman who I told just text me the amount of people on the show that you want to go to. Do you think she's still gonna text me for take it? What do you think she's like, Oh, this is an entire shutdown, This isn't you guys aren't gonna give it. You're making him pay everything and he yelled at you. How then am I think she will? I don't think. I think you gotta go back to this waiting and go listen, I'm having a problem, give her the A, B and C of it, and then say could you help me out in any particular way? If she goes, ye, no problem. Let me see what I can do, or she will go That's not really my call. I'm sorry, I think you gotta go to her, I go to the fan. No, I don't want to put her in that position. I I really, I really can't. I already put prosecuting attorney and out of position a couple of years ago for something I still can't tell you about, and I just can't. I just can't have another woman out there living with that. H I'm trying to find out that story. Oh bro, maybe a guy like you that's just the We haven't get a loan over a state dinner and a bottle of line. Man, you're just never alone anymore. But yeah, so you know, um do you he's I'm I'm well, I'll leave it at that because I don't put myself in a legal hole here. But UM, I just can't really do that move, bro, because I feel that's like I learned in sitcoms what we call that right there? What you want me to do? You want me to rewrite the same scene that we just had an Act one because she's just going to recite the goddamn code twelve page sing. She she's gonna go right into I know, I know that corporate voice. Man, I know when they go to that corporate voice, and I'm never gonna find a guy behind the curtain. So it's I'm thinking about going the other route going. Well, ladies, then you can talk to my lawyer about the Chinese food I'm smelling from the tenants below on every Wednesday and Thursday, and the and the ship sidewalk. And I can't get my shower at a heat level that I can actually stand under it for long enough to even shave the back of my neck. You want to get into that dance lady, because I mean I even flown Delta in a while. I'm ready to roll. You know. To have these arguments and you're having them on your own behalf, do not hold the way it does when you call when someone calls on your behalf. If Ray ray A says hi, my name is Ray. I represent Pete and I'm calling on his behalf in regards to that, that then people perk up. But when you're fighting your own battles, forget it. Well. I try not to have Ray have to get involved. It's literally like sal I mean, except you know, you know, he's obviously a lot more respectful than better call Salt, but like you don't want need to have to call Ray. That's what I'm trying to say. You understand, I'm trying to do these people a favorite, not me. I'm overplaying it. But you're absolutely right. I mean, I'm joking around, but you're absolutely right. That is the next move. And that's what he offered to do. So that is the next route. Man, and Jackie and dude, she just kept saying, don't don't do what you do. Don't do what you do, don't do what you do. I go, jack She's not gonna I know when I call, she's not gonna give me anything other than what they say. I got a lot of edits after the show. Donna, Oh, come on, edits forgetting let it stand on its own. All right, Well, let's close this out with all the important news again. Man, Saturday night, I don't know what you people. I'll tell you right now. I thought you were doing, but I'll tell you what you should be doing. No seriously, man, Sebashian. This Saturday Night his third Showtime special Lands and it's fifth special overall. Fourth we had that like be a sponsored one. Yeah, that was Sebastian Live and then we had three on showtime, so this is no Then we have a Comedy Central. After that Comedy Central we at half hour. I'm not really counting. Oh we got four and a half four and a half, so the four and a half specialty man halfway done in a body of work, Jesus. So I do have to mention though, that we launched our two thousand sixteen two thousand seventeen tour, which the tour dates are up on Sebastian live dot com. Just let me rattle off a few of the dates. Rochester November four, November five, Baltiboard November eighteenth, Pickkeepsie nineteen, Syracuse, Chicago the November, and then we finish out the year December nine to the eleventh at the Grand Theater at the Foxwood Resort. And then there's a litany of other shows starting in January. So go to Sebastian Live dot com check that out. One show I want to mention, in particular going to Fort Myers, floor Orida, which is right next to Naples, Florida. So I got the in laws buying up tickets. I think they bought half of the room, so that's gonna be good. To go home. That these people are so organized. The damn show is made fourteen they're planning the after party already. Oh man, that is you know. I wish jack and I could have made the wedding, But I can't wait to be at the next big function with you when you're in laws and your parents. I mean, you gotta make it. I think you guys should come down to Fort Buyers that weekend, just just just for the just to see it, just to see to see what these people do. It's amazing. The only one I haven't met road that I'm dying to meet, man, is Rose Rose. You never met Rose yet. No, we gotta get you out here. Many. This is Madiscalco. We gotta get her over to meet you. She's uh. She told me a couple of days years ago. She's like, I gotta meet Sadie because she listened to the last cast and she just molted when you said that. The Sadie said, I think there's a storm rolling in. Yeah, it's it's it's getting crazy now, dude, because it's just like every day. And when Jackie drive rides on the back of a bicycle to nursery school, she puts her on FaceTime, and we talked on FaceTime, and I literally feel like I'm incarcerated. I am. I am not kidding you. I mean and and and for a while she'd be like, hey, Dad, we're getting to the hill, and then we go down the hill on the bike and I'd be on the phone going whoa. And it's just so I would try not to cry because I'm so sad. And now it's getting to the point where halfway through the bike ride, she's like, Mom, can I hit the red button? That's what she said. It's just fucking want to talk to me anymore. Oh God, I'm coming home, Sadie. I'm called at home. Will be home Saturday morning. You will see, Daddy. They gave me a furlough. We con visitation and I'll be playing Gotham Comedy Club October seventh and eighth. Man. I got two shows on Friday, three shows on Saturday, and then the weekend following Thanksgiving Friday and Saturday night. I'll be a distress factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey. Come on out to those shows. Also, please tune in to Kevin James every night Monday to Day thirty. Righting on that but trying the best to make a funny ship man. What else? I just did a town hall for those of you that have Sirius XM radio Channel ninety nine, Raw Dog Comedy, seven pm Eastern. I'm gonna be on what they call a town hall. It was an interview that Chris Spencer, a good friend of mine, uh, did with me. So tune into that go to face Spook to see that. If you want a little teaser, there's thirteen minutes of that interview up on my Facebook page, so check that out. And that's it. The next time for Shure, I will be broadcasting from the remodeled home. Really excited we're moving in. I can't wait. So uh things are on the up and up. Man, beautiful man, beautiful, good hanging good cast. We will see the listeners next week on the Pete and Sebastian Show. Thanks for the support. Alright, great hanging bro, take care later the show has ended. What about your shades? I wear sunglasses and then I'll hook them off my T shirt. That's not annoying all night, Uh it is, but I will not wear sunglasses if I'm gonna bleed my day in tonight. I love that move.