You're listening to the Pete and Sebastian Show on the riot Cast Network riot cast dot com. This is the Pete and Sebastian Show with Pete Courielli and Sebastian Menascal Go p Bascuit and it's Jamie from Boston. First, let me just say, I hope you two boys and my man DJ Lou had a happy Thanksgiving. As a matter of fact, I hope all the listeners out a happy Thanksgiving. And then look at SHOOTI coming out of nowhere, pulling out of the archives with a sick bit. Well done kids, home fucking run brother. And then actually, as a matter of fact, and I can't lie, the entire show was fucking funny. It was hilarious. You boys are on top of a a game, but without a doubt that the best part of the entire show was when you two are rubbing your nuts together trying to get some blameless for this fucking justin Bieber Heyllo Bay Ding Baby, Yeah, send the country song. I just want to see d play Bible played Baby and DJ lu do nothing, complete fucking silence. The best part of the entire cast was the fact that that motherfucker just let you too. In your bouncing Beiber requests. Just sit there in the fucking breeze, blowing in the wind. Nice job. DJ lu Oh it's too fox when they suggest ship like that and you know it. What oh that sounds that you and all the class you get in using my name? No way? Oh wait was his garbage Pete and Sebastian show. We're back on track. We've there was some hiccups. Man, we missed a week and the things got flipped around. There was chaos on the streets. Bro. Yeah, man, this has been what to to almost two weeks. We haven't done this. Yeah, well, you know, we had that little hiccup where we came in way late with the show and then right away was Thanksgiving and we didn't even you know, it was really crazy, which is unusual. I mean, are we losing our steam? What's going on? Because neither of us got ahold of the other one over Thanksgiving to even say are we banging one out? Which is unheard of because one of us is usually pushing the other. I just thought Thanksgiving was it's just a known day all listen. Yeah, we barely do. Although we texted that's you gotta you gotta love the text if if not for anything else but the holidays, it saves you from so many quick calls that you might have to make or pick up. Oh yeah, I mean how many people did you actually call? Nobody? Well, my parents, my parents, Yeah, that's right. Other than that, nobody and I banged them all out and one big FaceTime the whole family was on the phone. So that's it. That's it. You don't you don't call friends, relatives, it's just you call the parents, and then after the parents, it goes straight into group text. I even distinctly remember after I did it as with my family, but Jackie and my daughter, and we showed we did the FaceTime. As soon as I hung up, I said out loud done. Now, when you when you send the text, you're basically saying to the person, hey, just I'm thinking about you want to Thanksgiving? Right, that's what you're saying. No, no, no, I send it out because I don't want to hear you didn't wish me a happy Thanksgiving. I can sense that in your texts. I know that about you. It's less it's less of a hassle to just text and say happy Thanksgiving that it would be to have to respond to why didn't you text? That's why sometimes if you do it really early, like an errand, that's terrible. Man, you get it out of a way. You know, there's I'm getting into a band of re getting into a band called e l Oh, we'll get into that and the some other show. But they got a sotng called turned to Stone. I turned to Stone. Uh, when you're gone, whenever you're gone? I turned to Stone, And I was just thinking, how I'm listening to it in the gym. I'm like, dude, this is Sebastian song. The minute his lovely wife is gone. The guy goes to Stone. God she softens you off. Oh man, I'm telling you right, I got I got tiger blood. Hey listen, we don't know about that blood. We're still trying to figure out how it happened. You don't want any of that. I'm a high priest an assess. Back off with your judgment. But I do have to say I sensed that in your text. But I'm thinking still one way or another. You are saying, look, I'm thinking about you on this day. But the thing that is so crazy. You're saying, yeah, I'm thinking about you today, but I'm only thinking about you for the length of time it takes to send this text that I'm back off of you. I don't see anything wrong with that. It's really just, you know, just trying to I mean, if we could have some sort of social device where you literally snap your fingers and that says hello whatever, and everybody we just snapped, that's as easy as possible. We get it done quick man in and out. I'm calling you. I'm calling you on Christmas, so get ready, I'm gonna go. Good morning, Sebastian, Merry Christmas. Old friend. Probably won't answer that, I know, and your text back. How was the festivities? Uh, the morning was fantastic. Jackie was in a four and a half mile turkey trot in town. Now they call it a turkey trot. It's just a four and a half mile run, but the town takes it very serious. And we got we got into this thing to the point where Jackie had an inside tip. The woman who runs the whole thing. It starts at a bar right downtown from US. Nine in the morning, so me and Sadie go down. We're ready to root her on. My mother in law comes and they the woman who runs it every year, tries to make it harder and harder every year and changes the route. Well, this year we got an inside friend who got us the route the night before, so Jackie could check for hills and valleys and when to go fast. Went to kick back. This is heavy duty ship in town. Bro. Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah. So it was a lot of fun routing her on. She won a second place for her age group, which is great. Um, of course they run out of medals, they like, they make an announcement. We ran out of the medals. We have everyone's address, will mail them to you. Yeah, but my mother in law stolen metal right before they ran out, just in case. Yes, no, we gotta come. And now here's the deal. Bro. You have to do a joke with someone and you just can't believe they don't get it. Because the guy who won, alright, white guy looks like you could be or an accountant. He did four and a half miles in twenty four minutes. I believe it was something insane. Guys flying clearly a professional runner or at least runs all the time, comes across the finish line and you know, again small town that no one's even aware how crazy this guy's time was so I go up to him right away. I got a cup of coffee and I go, bro wow, and I go to get him a little fist pump. I go, what are you from Kenya? He looks at me and he goes, no, I'm from Fredonia. Oh my god, what do we do? Forget it? Forget it? Did you just walk away? After that? I looked at him and said, no, I know, I mean just great run though. Really he's sane man right over the right, over the head, right over the head. And then uh, you know, to Turkey, to family. I'm sorry many my holidays. Thank god I have Christmas because I'm getting drunk on Christmas because my holidays with my family are very mellow, my mellow. Even my side, it's gotten mellow. I grew up there was aunt's uncle's cases of beer out on the porch and Levittown, Long Island. Every aunt and uncle would always be giving another beer. I mean, my cousin couldn't wait to be able to drink. We party. It was so much fun. Now it's like fucking Norman Rockwell paint thing. God put me to sleep. Is it because no one's drinking or no one's talking. There's well, first of all, there's no players. You know, I don't have like my brother isn't there. Uh, my brother in law is there, but I don't know. Man, he's hitting miss. He was hung over this year on Thanksgiving, so he made that announcement. That's that's always irritating went He's basically he goes all we talked when I had a good time last night. They're telling you I had so much fun last night. I made a choice. I'd rather have a good time and blow it last night than wait for today with you. Well, I mean, do you blame him? No, I mean taste when he was walking into I mean it sounds like, uh, everybody was just going through the motion. Well, he had it at his house and it was a lovely set up in a wonderful meal. But the host sets the tone. Man, we're coming in your grouchy and hung over. The tone he set when I do Christmas. Bro. First of all, I'm gonna have you reg Now that's gonna be a home run. But I'm gonna have constant music playing. I'm gonna have beer and wine and little gifts on the side for people. I wasn't even supposed to be getting a gift. We talked right before the show started. We're both down with it. We can't wait to get our jolly holly on. Bro. Christmas is your your day though you're more of a Christmas guy. Oh yeah, absolutely, that's the one. And you're having it and it's your family coming over. No, they're not coming. It's all my in laws and whatnot. But you know, I'm telling Jackie, I'm like, you're for and should stop buying. And she's like, they had their own families. I'm like, yeah, but they're not going to be doing it like this. Man, yeah, this is gonna be nice, especially with that eggnog flowing. I think so, man, I mean I really looked forward to sucking that down. When I had it at your house, it was fantastic. Oh man, I remember having a house so shit. So how was your Thanksgiving? Well, we did a dual thing. The actual Thanksgiving was at my father's house, right right. You stayed in your childhood bed. Stayed in the childhood bed. Uh. We did three days with Lana's family. Uh. So we didn't really get to do it like a Thanksgiving there, but we did get to go out for a couple of dinners with them. Uh, but yeah, the first time with my father and his girlfriend and her kids, so it was a little different. Uh, good time, good time. We did sleep in the old not the old beat. I mean the room is totally rearranged, but the doll was in the basement. The doll was in the basement. Well, I don't want to get too crass here, but uh, you know, did you make love in your old childhood room? No, no, there's too many people around. What come out fucking the bedroom with the day. I didn't say it like that. Yeah, I know, but I am. I got my dad in the next room. I don't come on man, all right? So yeah, we Uh, my dad took me what I call. I don't know if you've done this with your parents. I don't briefly touched on it before. But I went through with my father and did the death walk. No, what's this? Oh the death walk? You didn't do this with your dad yet? Know what happens just in case he dies? Oh you told me about that. Yeah, we did it. We did a review. It's yeah, it's almost like every year at school you have like a tornado or fired drill. That's what it is with my dad. Every time I come home, we do like, go, what where's what? You know? This folder's got this this folders guy, I said, he's got so much stuff all over the house. I go, just make a death folder because I don't want to be going upstairs downstairs. I want to go to one place and look at the death folder. There you go exactly, man, and everything is accounted for and the death folder it will be yeah, every everything and uh. And I'm urging our listeners to do this with their parents created death folder. I know it sounds a little morbid, but everything goes in a death folder. If there's a safety deposit box, key death folder, if there's investments death folder, if there is jewelry in a in a safe or if you have a box, that should be right. Everything should be I shouldn't have to go on a scavenger hunt when somebody passes away. Well what about taking it a step further? And should everybody, I mean, god forbid, have their own death folder going from like thirty years old or forty years old on. Yeah, I'm starting to create my own death folder. Well see now and again I don't have like it's not about leaving anything. It's all going to my daughter, right or my wife. But my point is the little trinkets you know that like, I don't want people to accidentally get like I got a nice leather bag and I worked with his comic a few times. That thinks we're a little closer than we already comments on the bag. I don't want him calling up going I'd love the bag to remember Pete, my daughter would give him the bag. Not no, I gotta put in the death will. Don't give him the bag even if you don't want the bag. Don't give the guy to bag. Well, I think, uh, I think you do have to map that stuff out in the death folder. You really got to start a spreadsheet and tell whoever's getting what where it's not going. I mean, you can't have that bag end up at the comedian's closet. I give you another example. I got all my notebooks from stand up that I've written. I'm sure you've got you a kind of stuff like that. I know my daughter. I can already tell she's not reading that ship, so I'm not gonna leave it for I gotta figure out do I have any niece and nephew that I think so I'm so cool that when I'm dead, they'll read my notebooks. Yeah, you can do that. You could do any club owner. Maybe that you have a favorite club owner out there, or maybe another comedian now well right now, right, because you have no kids, does everything one mathiculy go to Lana or I mean, all these casts together building up the show. I mean, you don't throw me a scooter. Oh you want something? Uh, let's see what I would give you. You know what, Maybe the scooter would look good next to the ones you got over there. Yeah. Mine, I'm already trying to sell them. They are pieces of it. They don't even run. It's over. Yeah. Every time I got to use and I got to call the guy up to get him started because I'm not a mechanic. So I said, you keep the scoot is and give me the value of the scoot is to work on my jeep. Now I'm I'm looking to get a couple of scoot is like yours. Okay, so maybe I do leave you to school, That's what I'm saying. I mean, you got valuables. It will be fun to start to see who would I leave this stuff to him? My death folder, you know stuff that line and might not want you know, they're right, I do have to go. I was just gonna give it off the line, and she was gonna distribute it accordingly. But maybe I bet MT uld be a little specific here. Yeah, we'll look at your entire wardrobe. Give to one of your boys. Oh, I'm doing this cast, and I gotta tell you this. I don't know what happened here. I got my shirt off, by the way, I just thought I might paint a picture. Thanks. Uh. The reason I'm telling you this because because we all know, I get laser hair removal on the back. Right. Yeah. I don't know what laser they used last time, but I think they screwed up and put the laser on that grows hair. They put it on reverse. I got shoulder hair like you wouldn't believe. I don't know. A lot is going what the something's wrong with the laser? Man? I grew double the hair that I ever had. You went to Robin Williams, guy, I got the Robin Williams. Listen what First of all, with the laser, I thought it was once and done every area and then you're done for life with that area. No, no, no, no, this is you got to go back at least four or five times. They say to get rid of it entirely. But you know, I don't know if you got this, but I got this, this hair on my tricep. Okay, no, I don't. You don't got tricep. I mean very lightly, nothing nothing extreme. I mean my body hair aside from my chest, but on my arms and stuff. When I like, you know, jump come out of water. I'm not one of those guys where it's so matted downly like Jesus, Oh yeah, no, I come out. I come out and it looks like, uh, it looks like it's combed straight down. Yeah, that's my chest. Hen but that's a man. But not on my boys. You got that When men have that on their own, I'm like, that's every man. Oh yeah, I'm getting that. I think I'm They told them take the laser to the tricep, and they did it, but it came back. Robin Williams like, well, is that like something they say? You know, sometimes the first hit with the laser stimulates the route. Now, this was the second time I went back to this guy, and I think they had it on reverse. And I don't know what the protocol to this is, Do I go back in and ask for a free session. Do I get my money back and and go somewhere else? I would that? Do you? I would call? I'd be like, I don't know if you had fertilizer in that fucking day, but I got more hair than ever. Is this a normal process? I feel like I deserve a free round something. Yeah. Yeah, so we gotta funk up on the hair do So what's the deal with Like, has anyone ever discussed the option of because you go a lot to uh get groomed in various ways. Anyway, what about just getting it shaved every time? Well, it just come back so fast and so thick. It would be you'd be shaving like a woman pretty much. With the shaving, it's hard to shave your back and you need to get you need you need a geisha. You need a geisha that stuff. And uh supposedly with the hair removal, it's fift you know, it's fifty fifty. It's gonna take to certain people, but that's pretty much the best way to go. As soon as you start shaving and it comes back heavier, you know, it looks like a coarse beard. Yeah, well, so wouldn't the guy just say, hey guy, we said it's fifty fifty. You know, sorry fifty fifty, but I didn't know it was fifty. You could grow more hair. I got reads around my goddamn Yeah, you're like animal make luck to make monkey man. So how was your trip to l A. We didn't get the I thought you were gonna come in earlier on Tuesday. It could have been a possibility, but Wednesday I left. So did you do the bur cast? Yeah? I did Burr yesterday. I'm still out in l A. Oh you are, Yeah, I got marrined later on today. Wow. Yeah to the biggest podcast going. Man. I'm yeah. I mean Billy Burr was like, holy sh it, what it's just a nice guy, man. Just we go way back and it was great. It was It's just great. I mean, you know, it's like, it's not your show, so it's not like you know, you and I sometimes where I can interrupt start over. You know, you're being respectful the show. Billy's great anyway, it's just a one on one thing. But you know, you do have a few moments like I'll give an example. When we first started out, he gave a really nice intro to me, just fucking super nice guy. Billy is so uh. At one point he goes, in his sort of way he talks, is very funny. He goes, uh, you know, just brutally brutally underrated, brutally underrated, and uh, it made me laugh. And then I go, I see someone on the lines. Because you know, you don't remember totally I said it. I go, Jesus, it's like you're speaking the words of my wife in the kitchen. And he goes, why she says that or something? I go, yeah, you know what I mean. It's like, dude, even the Showtime special, like two weeks before it came out, I was on a boat. I mean I was on a cruise. And right away he's like, oh, you're you mean right before you take that you took a vacation. That's crazy. And I go and I go, no, dude, right before it aired, I was playing on a boat. And you know, it's like you're sitting there like and they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say, man, what are you doing here? And uh, I know Jackie when she is that, she's gonna go, why would you let them know that you were on the boat. I mean, you know, there's other reasons behind it, why you did it. And I was like, but it's like, I'm just being honest. I'm always very I'm openly honest. So those are the kind of things you get back to the hotel room, like maybe I should have just said thank you, you know, and moved on. But then at one point I got into my whole spiel talking about feature acts and I'm like, you know, didn't want to sell their T shirts and I'm like, nobody gave a shit about me when I was featuring. I'm like, da, da da, And he goes and he was kind of with me in the conversation, and then he goes, yeah, well, you know, I don't want to sound bitter on younger guys and stuff like that. And I was like, oh no, no, yeah, hey, listen, most of these younger guys, I go, most of these younger guys they were better at writing jokes at a younger age, and I was. And then he rails on a on a feature on the feature guy again a little bit, and I go, what are we doing? And we're making fun of him? Were not? And he goes, well, not, did you just say what you hout. Honestly, I go, look, they funk him. That That's what I'm saying. But you know, and it's it's not about trying to, you know, kiss up to Billy. He's a friend, but you're trying to be respectful of his audience. That's what I'm trying to you know. So if you know, if they're like very supportive of young and up in comics, I don't want to be a guy coming on going funk him, so so, you know. But other than that, was awesome. It's great to see him. Of course we brought you up and uh, we brought up the helicopter. He showed me some awesome pictures of flying his helicopter recently. I go, and this is like his great I love this line because he goes, I go, yeah, but why helicopters over planes? And he goes, because they're cooler, And I go, I hear, I got a jeep wrangler. I can totally relate to that. Fucking completely not comfortable at all, but it looks cool. Helicopter. He can barely go from here to the seven eleven before he's got a guess the fucking thing up again. But it's cool. Man, Where where is the cast out of his house? No, it's uh, at some It's at a studio um in Melrose, not too far from the the improv. It's a building that you know, it's just a nondescript office building. But you go in there. I guess they have studios all over and you have it for one hour and then there's other people coming in to do some something else and yeah, all things comedy. Have you ever been in there? No? Is it his thing? I think it's his thing, his studio. He has like a thing like his own riot cast type of thing. Oh okay, because it was real sterile, real sterile. I mean, there was just a thing that's at all things comedy. But it wasn't like they were posters of him or like you know, like like if it was his office or something. But maybe he does. Maybe he owns it or he rents the space. I don't know. But so it was great and I have to say he uh. And then afterwards we ended up talking in the parking lot for another thirty minutes, just an old friend man. And he's got a new cartoon series coming out, I should say animated animated series coming out on Netflix. I want to plug for him to which what knows he doesn't need my help. But December eighteenth, it's called F is for Family, and he plays the dad. It's animated. Uh, he plays a family man dad. There's a trailer which I'll send you. I don't know. I don't mean, I don't know. It's the trailers on YouTube. I would imagine anyone can check it out. Um, dude, it's so goddamn funny. Uh, you know, like if in the trailer's his character says to his son, he's got his son and daughter, and he goes, you keep your eye on you, you keep you keep your eye on your sister. Daddy's got to go out and listen. You take good care. I'm totally paraphrasing. VI goes, if anything happens to when I come home, I'm gonna put your head through that fucking wall. You hear me, And then he looks back at he goes, okay, take care, princess, all right. He hugs his daughter if he talks to his son like that, And the wife is played by Laura Dern And there's another character in there played by Sam Rockwell. And anyway, the entire six episode series drops December eighteenth on Netflix. Family Bill Burr and thanks for having me on, Brother. Yeah, I remember him telling me that in Montreal, and he had said that was such a liberating feeling doing the animated series opposed to like a sitcom, because you could get away with lines like that through through animated characters better than you would real people. You know. I mean you can't say that you can, but for whatever reason, you know, the South Parks of the world, the family Guys of the world, you could say a lot, a lot more risk a type of things and cover are a wide array of controversial topics under the umbrella of animation that you would if you just did a traditional sitcom. I'm putting you in charge of your sister today. You got that, Okay, anything bad happens to her, I will come right home and I will put you through that fucking wall. Have a great day, princess. Uh yeah, send me to trailer. We'll put it up on our on our page. Uh And uh yeah, I check that out. Because Bill Burr is one funny cat. Yeah, we were talking about making specials and stuff and he's like and I was like, yeah, I'm already working on the next one or something that, of course, you know, always trying, and he goes talking about making him over and over and I go, well, Jesus, I mean you and Louis c k like, what do you got little elves writing shipped for you, leaving at the foot of your bed every night, And dude, he said that, uh, you know, saying great things about you, obviously, and then he said that you guys told a funny story that you when he first lived in l a for a short period of time, you lived in the same building as him. Yeah, I told you this story on the cast, didn't I don't think so, did you. My first week I lived at the Saint James Apartments off of Hollywood Boulevard and Fuller and I'm moving in my staff and kind of getting settled in. This had to be yeah, probably three or four days living at the apartment and the elevator opens and it's Bill Burn. Now I had known about Bill Burr prior to moving to Los Angeles because I've seen him on a couple of comedy specials and really enjoyed what he was doing. So I walked in the elevator and I go Bill Burn. He was yeah, I Sebastian I just moved out to Los Angeles. I want to be a comedian, and I really like what you're doing. And uh he invited me to the laugh Factory that night to come see him perform, and I thought it was like the coolest thing ever. I mean, three days into Los Angeles, I'm getting invited to a comedy show at the laugh Factory and uh. He lived there for about six months. I think he moved back to New York after that because forever the reason he h went back, well, New York is like where you go to get started, and that's why we're talking about you and how you Uh he goes, Yeah, Sebastian, which is unheard of, started comedy in l A from the ground up. I'm like, I know who does that? Fucking sent By the way, speaking of how you recognize him, I wanted to tell you last week, I'm raking my leaves with Jackie on my front one the final raking a year. Guy guy walks by and he goes, excuse me. I'm like, God, here we go show time special. I look I look up with the rake handle in my hand. I bro I swear to God, I'm not making this up. I look up my Hey, what's up man? And he goes, do you have a card? I go excuse me? He thought me and Jackie Landscape. I said, well, Jackie Len told me. She goes, no, this is our house. And he goes, oh, it looks so good. I thought you were hired. She goes, no, I can't wait to be done with our own. I'm like, oh, right back to raking. Here we go. Show Time Special probably gonna tell me how fantastic. And he's looking for somebody to clean his gutters right now. If he thinks I'm gonna go inside the house to get a pen and sign something, I'm not. I mean, I'm raaking. Oh that's speaking of raking too. Uh. I finally had to drop the call my neighbor to my left. When I was leaving for l A in the morning. It was windy out and I look out and it's the guy who they rent So there's a guy who owns the place who's renting, and that guy who owns it him and his wife. They always gave me their number, and they're like, if there's any problem, you know, let us know, we'll come take care of because I don't even know if they're legally allowed to be renting, and I think they know that too. So there's the leaves. He never gets his leaves. I don't expect the people renting the rake leaves they're renting. So I finally called him, Dude, I got the number from Jackie. I called from Skype because if they were going to pick up, I wasn't gonna leave a message. I wasn't gonna talk. I waited till I got the message. I didn't want them to see my you know, I didn't want to have a face to face. So I called from Skype and they don't pick up, and I leave a message for the guy. I'm like, hey, dan is Geneva Pete. I just want to tell you, man, you got some giant limbs sitting out on your front law and they've been out there for like over a month. Now, Um, you got some limbs hanging from the trees. And quite frankly, bro, I mean, he leaves a raking blown onto my lawn. I've already raked my leaves three times and yours twice. I'm done. Can you just come raak your leaves? Man? Thanks? Am I out a line? Bro? Well, first of all, you skyped him. I called on Skype because if he was gonna pick up, I didn't want to have a conversation with him. And if I called on my cell phone, I know he has my number and he know it was me. So I called on Skype to his cell phone. Oh so he can't pick that up. He can, but he's a teacher. And I called during the daytime. I was hoping I wouldn't get I wouldn't get him during the recess. Got you got you? So you you did it? And intentionally not to speak to him, Yes, because I have two numbers and I don't know which is his and which is his wife. And one other time I called and his wife picked up, and then I couldn't even say what I wanted to say because I wasn't expecting her. Yeah. No, I think that's definitely appropriate. It's gone on too long, and I would have done the same thing. I wouldn't have talked to him. I would have left a message for some reason. If you leave a message like that, it's a lot. I don't know. I feel it's not as direct and violent as it could be if you spoke to about the phone. No, it's not. You're right, but I'm giving you a chance to address this before I got to take it to another level and actually talked to you. And the only difference in your message, by the way, would be my landscape has already raped my leave three times and just my landscape, I doesn't want to rake your leaves again. By the way, how much are we saving on flocking and everything else this year? You're not gonna decorate your rental right now? We're we're going to my in laws for Christmas, so we're not gonna spend it in Los Angeles, although we would have decorated the rental if we were we were going to stay. But yeah, no flocking, no lights this year. It's uh, it's gonna be in Florida for the first time. This is the first time in forty two years that I will not be spending Christmas Day with my entire family, like my mother and my father and my sister. Don't be wow onbelievable And speaking of holidays and in the Christmas extravaganza that's coming up, I gotta get your take on this Thanksgiving after it's all sudden done at the host's house, this being your brother in law, right, does everyone pitching with setting the table, cleaning the dishes. How does it work? Well, well, let me throw it back to you with the question, what do you do when you're at a diner table like that, for let's say Thanksgiving and your wife is helping out clearing the table. So your instinct is to get up and help out. But then your father in law gives you a look or he's talking to you and he just kind of looks at you and says, no, no, no, they got it. Do you still get up at a deference to your wife or do you go man at the house telling me to sit down? Sitting down? Well, I gotta tell you what happened, and that that answers that question. At my father's house, his girlfriend made a shift on a food. I mean it was a lot of food. And at the end of the dinner, Lana got up and Lana was great, I mean she even like she was what could I do? What could I do? And my father's girlfriend and Lana clean the dishes. Well, my father and I watch the football game. Now, I'm not saying it's the woman's job at all, because, believe me, I have no problem and I've done this in the past many at times where I've stood up and I've cleaned the entire table as I'm talking. I would just start taking people's that you've done't they don't, and then I would stack them up and the table would be clean. I've done this many a times. But do you wash? And I mean I'm not. Didn't deject on you here, but my mother, no, I haven't. I don't typically wash dishes at somebody else's home. Neither do I. But that's the like, that's the hard part. Like I do. I do the stack like you. The stack is easier. I think the stack and noise my mother in law because I'm bringing him in too fast. She doesn't have any place to put him. It's the wash. You're gonna roll up your sleeves. Nah, then don't stack. It's a it's an insult to the washer. Oh look at me carrying six plates in? Should you better off? Just I know it feels it feels very near the fal to just sit there and let the ladies do it. But you know what, man, it's it's deal, man, It's I don't make the rules. I mean, it's like, I don't know why my seat has to be up when we take off. I don't know why you gotta do the dishes on Thanksgiving, but you do well. That brings me to my next my next topic. My father in law sent out an email today saying that you know we're having Christmas dinner and here let me pull it up. I never really received an email like this twenty two days out outside of Christmas, but he's like, uh, family time. So this year, we'd like to ask all to help wash and clean up after dinner. Now onlyt me wrong. I got no problem helping out washing and cleaning up after dinner. But this is twenty two days out on an email. So you got an email from pop saying, if you're gonna join us for Christmas, we'd like you to help with the dishes. Yeah, so he goes. We will be organized and assign each of us a specific task. What man, I mean you may as well tell me your entire house has asbestos because I'm not coming. I mean, I'm getting a task, Like there's gonna be a follow up to this and that's gonna be sa bad. You're on garbage breakdown? Did you email back? Sebastian just booked a ticket to Florida after receiving his email. This is my father in law. I was your father for the law. This ain't my father. What are you crazy? I thought we were getting too something where maybe your father's girlfriend was actually upset and you didn't know. Oh, this is your They have staff. What is this about? They can't get the staff this year. Oh they're having a complete breakdown. They don't know how this works. Man, They've never had to do their own dishes. They are assigning it, signed it dirty days out. They're freaking out. Do we even have soap? I don't even think we have soap? Oh god, they no, we got no spun. This is like the house getting shipwrecked on Gilligan Tailists is right up there with that. Oh god, man, well is it? B y o g bring your own gloves? Oh god? Can we get an actual reading an email with some blue music? Uh? Here. We're looking forward to the Christmas Eve dinner and also Christmas dinner at our home. We will be getting specific details out soon. Christmas is family time. It's difficult to get a competent service staff, so this year we'd like to ask all the help wash and clean up after dinner. We will be organized. We will be organized and assigned each of us specific tasks, so it goes quickly. Like Holy, First of all, I'd settle for inactua inadequate service right now, right, I mean, I don't need I don't need a great dishwasher. Let's forget the car. Whatever you get, it's better than clean and dish Yeah. I mean, this is unbelievable. I can't get a ruf of you can't get dishywasher in Florida. What is coming to the world. I mean, geez, just go to so so. Did you get your task yet? I didn't get the he's got the email this morning. Well you should write back and saying, uh, if you haven't assigned jobs yet, just let it be noted. I'm a fantastic stacker. I want to write back. I'm really good at watching TV. You should see if you can find some staff out that way. I might have to bring my own staff. Man. This is wild. I'm getting, you know what though, knowing your mother in law and and and you know I met him once. She's a real sweetheart. I'm imagining this is just her way of kind of making this all fun. No, no, I mean they're like freaking up now. This is a serious deal, man, This is like you said, it's it's uh, this is a big thing over it. They're they're they're doing a spreadsheet right now, giving everybody a responsibility. This can this could have a direct effect on your little gift packet when you get there with your personal newspapers and anything else going on. I mean usually you say she'd get you something like last time it was a book about Seinfeld. Yeah, well, now you're gonna have a whole little set of gloves and soap in a basket. It's garbage bags and twisty t Wow, that's too funny, man. That is so yeah, it's it's, it's it's gonna be a different Christmas. Man. Do you even email back saying, you know, bringing on h know, I wanted to email back. Of course, you know, we're making fun here and whatever they want me to do is fine, But I want to email back because this the whole family is on an email threads. So some of the responses been like, sounds like a plan will be there and then it will be a jolly good time. I want to respond, going, thanks for the twenty two day notice to watch this. I can't wait. Oh, well, you gotta appreciate that's your mother in law's way. He's saying, wrap your head around this one. But we're all gonna have to do the work this time. Oh I think I sent it. I actually think I sent it by accident. Did I send this? Oh yeah, I think I wanted to send it. That's okay. While you said something jokingly that you were no, I said that. I never Oh yeah, I did, said today said yeah I sent it. What did it say? What did it say? I said nothing like that. You'll be watching this. Thanks for the advanced notice. I'll bring my own spun dad. That's funny. That's funny, right, I just don't know. I I don't know sometimes with the other side of the family how they take sarcasm. You don't play well via text an email. You don't. You don't you you don't sound soft. It sounds angry. Yeah, you should think about using those uh memes. Oh those emojis, all the emojis like a yellow yellow, little yellow smiley faces. Yeah, they could help you. It softens everything you say. Yeah, Well, you know, I just I I just say it with comedic take to it. But maybe reading that it looks like I'm I'm being aggressive and confrontational. Well, I mean, just listen to me. Thanks for the two twenty wait, thanks for the twenty five day notice. I'll bring my sponge and I watch this. Thanks for the day. Not there's no way to make that sound nice. Actually that's mean. Wow, you better send one those a little yellow guys right now. You're gonna you're gonna be on dishes every night. Kid? Uh yeah, like you or the l O L. I mean, I know you don't want to use it, but there's a reason people use it. I think what maybe even used it from time to time. Man, if it's mad enough of him, you could use it. It's should this should be listen, knowing me and knowing how I look at the world, something like that should just go like, oh that's him, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, but knowing the way you look at the world, you're really a little annoyed that you gotta do this in twenty five days, and you know, sarcastically, I'll bring my sponge, like I can't believe you know, no, no, Well, there's a hint of truth there. Hint. It's not even buried, it's right out in front. What I'm saying is there's a hint of truth, like how how like a twenty two day notice that that that there's gonna be cleaning involved. I mean, for me, it'd be like if we go there and I didn't know cleaning was gonna happen. Right, Let's say I never got that email and they said, Sebastian, you mind doing the dishes, I'd say, yeah, no problem. But to get a twenty two day advance, uh, that I was gonna be cleaning up the house, to me, it was a little ridiculous. No, yeah, but that's me. I don't think it is. That's where where I come from. I mean, oh, where do you come from? You come from outside of Chicago, guy, your dad comes from Sicily, you come from outside the mall area. No, you know where I come from. I come from telling my dad prepareed that folder. I ain't walking around now, that's where I come from. Well, listen, you know you make fun because my my emails and text can be wordy. But that's and I do I get out like if you would have said, right there, uh, nothing like a day notice and then you added to wrap my head around it. Mom, thanks so much, you know ha ha ha. See see now we all know, but you try to be very succinct, and sometimes being so short with your words comes across a little like I might read that and go, oh, you know, Scott, he's upset. He's upset. He's gonna bring a sponge to make a point. No, it's like this is like, this would be the joke, the running joke of the Christmas holiday if if if someone from my family did this, they would get ripped to shreds for seven days. If if my mother sent out something like that the whole time I was home, I go, my, you want to email me my task lisk for day? Yeah? I think it would be like a fun thing. But here, after talking about it, I might be disinvited for Christmas dinner. Listen, we're busting balls. You're part of the family. Shello. That's the way I look at it. But no one's responded to that email. Yeah that's listen. They needed you to be part of the family. They needed someone to bring that levity, that funniness to it all. Yeah that's what I say. Man, Eat, here's a flashback. Are you gonna have that eggnog next week? Yeah, it's I'm gonna come off the plane on Monday and right away starting on the eggnog because it needs to sit overnight and then it will be ready for Tuesday night's ornament Again. Now, when you're on stage, you're last show before something like that. Have you ever had these kind of moments. I'm not saying you'd have it. I'm not saying you'd have it exactly what this week. Sometimes they haven't been Cleveland. I was on stage and uh, my mind was just going places sometimes I didn't want it to go, like trying to stay in the moment, like like you could literally find yourself on stage making a crowd of people laughing, and in between bits, you have a moment where you like, I get started with that fun like you know what I'm saying, and why does that happen? And it makes me one to like this. Derek get ever at the plate in the bottom of the ninth in the World Series and he's like, oh, man, barely tomorrow my mom is still in town. Fuck, you know, like it's it's Jerry Seinfeld talks about the same thing that's not not exactly the same, but he has said that he calls it. Everything in the front of the store is working, but you're in the back of the store thinking about stuff. So like you know, like you could be performing in the back of your head, be thinking about something or not being in the moment. Analogy. I've actually done that, but I've actually thought in the back of my head sometimes. Wow, this is great. I'm on stage, I'm making people laugh, and tomorrow I'm gonna be making egg back the Pete and Sebastian Show. Getting back to the initial thing about watching the game, Um, I was at my brother was and when I got there, he had on the TV some snowmobiling documentary about building a snowmobile. He's into snowmobiling, and uh, they got no snow there all dying. They're dying. But anyway, I politely asked if we could put the game on. And I had me to note of this, to ask you, as much as a turkey is a mandatory if you're hosting Thanksgiving, even if you're not into football whatsoever. If you have a working television and you're hosting Thanksgiving, should the game be on, even with no volume? Yeah? Right, and and and if it's not on, does a guest have the right to politely say can I put the game on? Or is that, like, no, you have that's rude to ask. I don't have the TV on so we can all spend more time. To you, yeah, I think Thanksgiving is all about football. And I don't care whose house it's at. The game must be on. Uh If you want to watch some obscure snowmobiling thing or X games or a movie that should be designated to a secondary television, possibly up in a bedroom and or a basement, but the main TV must have the football game on. I couldn't agree more. And and here's a little irony for you, the game. They put the game on, I sit down and watch him. My brother in law and my father in law walk in, and my brother in law says, he sits down and he goes, this is the first uh play of NFL footba. Well, I've actually watched all year. I haven't watched football at all, and my father and logoes, yeah, I don't watch it either. Now, First of all, as as a man, I find like I find that very unflattering as a man, Like does he think that's cute to say that as a man that you don't watch football? That's like, that's unmanly to me. That's like you may as well say I like to wear a dress on Sunday nights. I mean, just don't say anything at all. You don't have to watch football, but to make an announcement that you never watch it. That's why is he never watching? Is it is? That's not a football fan yea, and not into football. You know all the pro sports they all make too much money and you know they all get traded, and I don't do more those things to doing my time. Uh you know, like, yeah, obviously watch snowmobiling, But I'm not into men that say they don't watch football. You don't have to watch it. You don't have to announce it. You don't, Yeah you must, you must just keep it quiet and say, you know, this is great that we're watching the football game. You don't need to specify that you haven't watched the game all year. And I don't get some of these people that say, oh, yeah, it's supply and demand. Bro, it's it's just the way it goes. I mean, the NFL is one of the most profitable, uh sporting events of all time. And if there's uh two on a million dollars out there to make, people are gonna go grab it and speaking of football, and this is something I wanted to get into right from the get go, and I knew we were going to get here. But let's talk about what the hell you're doing on Sunday. Oh my god, i' I'm having a week. I mean between Burr Marrin and then this unbelievable gifts what texts out of nowhere saying that the Texans are coming to Buffalo, and uh, he can hook it up and leave me tickets if I want to go to the game. So I said, I only need to for me and Jackie. Then he takes back on and I have as much as four and dude, this is this is karma. Right away, I'm like, well, I ain't asking my brother in law tell you that much. There goes that out the wind. Though he just lost tickets. Yeah, it could have been I don't know how close to one of the greatest of all time. And now you got you're out. You're out. So they tried to get my in laws, but someone's gotta watch Sadie. So but me and Jackie guests of J. J. Watt. Unbelievable dude going to the game on Sunday afternoon? Man, Wow, how far is the stadium from here? Oh god, thirty five minutes. Oh that's perfect. Yeah, I can't we're really looking forward to it now. Um needless to say, right, the man's with the team and shower and I go when I split right, this This isn't a concert where you wait around and say hi, this guy's man's not gonna take shout with the interviews come out and say hi, right, I see this is this is one of these things. I don't know how this works. I do know, um, because he had come to my special last year and he came backstage and he goes, wow, how do you have all these people back here? I know, like you know, before I go a football game, there's nobody in the locker room. It's just the team. So I know that there's no like hob nobbing. As he's walking around with his is uh his headphones on. Yeah no, I mean he's in warrior mode. And I would say, I would imagine all the way until back home and his home in Texas, it's just I'm I'm on the road. I'm a warrior. I'll leave it. Tickets, that's it. Baby. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if there's a meeting Greet after. I don't know, it's this is an interesting topic here. He's going to hear the cast probably tomorrow. That's his ritual. Also, you got if it was you would be different. You guys are obviously much closer. I've never even met I've never even spoke to JJ's just through texts and stuff like this. Plus, like I said, dude, I mean, waity, it takes you like forty five minutes just to get the pads off, let alone shower interview. I mean, I would think I would think somewhere in between the game ending and him getting on the bus there would be a possible meet and greet. I couldn't see him just leaving you the tickets and not saying hi, I don't And again it's not if if he can't do it because of logistics, fine, but being who he is and a fan of the cast, I don't see how you don't get a possible uh like a like a mean Joe Green type of thing, and that thing way throws you to Jersey and drinks a Coca Cola. God the day before I got home, Like it's still got the grass stain from the fucking game. Mr Green. Yeah, I want my coke. It's okay, you can have it. No, no, really you can have it. Okay, can get to the side. Makes me feel good, makes me do that I'd like to see than Joe. No, dude, I don't even want to put it to that place, because, um, yeah, this is just football time. It's totally about just leave me a couple of ticks and then when I get home, I'll thank him for it. And uh, besides, dude, it's funny because Jackie and I were talking about it and I go got jack reminds me that John Mayer concert where uh he did a show once left his tickets and it was raining and it was so embarrassing, dude, because we literally had to buy I can't even say this wrapping embarrassed ten bucks each of a Mexican dishwasher for two hefty bags and we poked all holes through the heads and arms because they're in the rain. And I said to Jackie, you know, it's so crazy. We only bought the garbage bags and stood in the rain because we really just wanted to meet him after the show, and She's like, I know, And then we went backstage and he was already gone, so then we we smoked a cigarette back there, but ten, like, you know, we don't care that he's there or not. We just wanted to chill out out there and then we left. It was so humiliating, so you know, oh man, Yeah, I don't know, man, this is gonna be interesting how it all goes down. Who knows. Maybe it is just a game and you get the hell out of it now, that's all I'm expecting. That's all I know. I know you are. But we do talk about every angle on the show. It's not like we're looking for for passes back or anything like that, but we do. We would be discussing this type of thing even if he didn't listen to the show. I know. But I also don't want to discuss this too much because he's such a nice guy. I don't want to put him on a spot where he's like, listen, I can catch you on my way to the bus two hours after the game, because that don't work for me. I got the eight year old inlaws watching the kids, so you know, listen, just get an in deception and fucking dossa to me. Oh man, it was sacked the quarterback and give me a point and go be da oh ship. You know, I am waiting for a lot to do something in regards to a kind of a homage to to the show, possibly after a sack doing doing something that signifies that he's he's a listener. Well, you know, it's funny you see it because we've never brought it up. But I'm then but when I politely asked both of you guys if you could just tweet out about the showtime thing, yeah, he never said a word about it, So I never said a word about it. Oh well that that Listen. When it comes to tweet and stuff out with him, this guy is so methodical on what he tweets and what he posts. It's almost like a science. So you think he's gonna get up from a sack and yell turned into pizza ve Yeah, just eight and so to special it's funny. Check it out though you wanted to actually jump up and I wanted to jump up and go go something. Oh god, oh too funny man? Has anyone ever seen Wait let me do that one again. Can I get a towel real quick? I'm sweating over here? Yeah, does anyone notice that? Yeah? It goddamn TV taping. I can't. I got him dripping down here. I looked like Patrick ewing a tip off. Yeah, you have to see you in before the game. I'm like, why did you jog it? I love you too? Thank you, bro. I needed that. I needed that good people. I needed to hear that thank you. Opening for Frank Sinatras, we were all wondering when is he gonna lay it down, when he's gonna quit. He would have hit and miss nights, but crowds loved them. They couldn't get enough of him, and every city we went to they were coming to say goodbye. And one night he did three songs. He was rolling. He got to the fourth song and he totally blanked on the lyrics and he started whispering into the microphone. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. And he turned around and there was dead silence, and he had tears in his eyes, and he looked like he was gonna come and lay the microphone down. And the guy way up and top of the audience stood up by himself and he held it out, that's all right, Frank, it's all right. We love you. Frank. It's all right because we love you. And he started to applaud and the guy next to him started apart in a couple of nine. Pretty soon hundreds of people start a plot, then thousands, and pretty soon the whole arena was cheering, cheering and cheering. He got to the edge of the stage and I thought he was gonna go home, and he turned around and he went back to the center stage, and they wouldn't stop cheering, And finally they calmed down and he went into the next number, which was Mac the Knife, and he absolutely drive that song. He hit every nuance in every lyric. He was like he was nineteen years old again. And he pointed up to the guy and he said, I love you too, pal, and he sang for two years after that, two years. That guy doesn't know that fan brought him from the ashes that night. This is Glenn Hanser. Glenn is an Irish musician who won the Academy Award for a song in a film he made called Once. He was performing one night in California when a man took a running start off the fifty foot roof, jumped and soared through the air without making a sound, and belly flopped on the stage a few feet from Glenn m Glenn took off his guitar and brushed over and tried to help. But this man had just forced a stunned audience and the band to watch him commit suicide. He's covering a Pearl Jam song in front of the Seattle crowd. Recently has I was telling only a hard time, really really hard time. I did you better reached out. I didn't know him at all. He reached out to total stranger and now we're good friends. And I'm very very happy to see this song. Youah suf food enough and wo with your self. It's time that you one let me stay to see this is Honestly, this ship doesn't work for me. I mean, and I know y'all laugh and something I feel. I wanted it to be something else that it's not. It's just not there, but just not there right at this moment in time and space for me. And I hope that nobody feels cheap or not because at least you get to see your motherfucker crucify himself for it because camera's looking at me. I thank you, brother. I needed to hear that. M guys, I'm crazy size. This has been a show within a show. Now back to the Pete Sebastian show Man, What do we got in regards to the rest of the year for you in town doing gigs? I forgot? Are you doing a New Year's Eve extravagance? Yeah? Yeah, let's see what I got left. Well, I was actually in town for something separate from the cast taking him. Could you discuss it? Well, yeah, I'm just trying to do the TV show again. I got the whole team, got the whole team, and uh doing trying to pitch something now about where I live now. And I just wanted to ask you because we're having lunch and we're going through pitches, ideas and stuff. And I was telling them that the other day, you know, all the leaves are down where I live in stuff. I'm in my kitchen and my neighbor to two houses down, he's got a big screen. It's late at night, and me and Jackie can see his big screens on and I go, I wonder what we'll say bill one of what bills watching? And I pull out the Bana Kills on the window sill and he's got porn on. And I'm just saying, like, do you say to your neighbor guy? You know you might want to slide the curtains. I'm two doors down. I saw the point and these guys latch onto the binoculars on the window sill, Like, who does that? What? Who does that? That's what I was because the sick as birds. Man, You don't have binocular You don't have anything binocular? What the fund you think? I'm some perfect who the hell has but not watched anyone binoculars? Is a perfect dude. You don't want all right, he's a peeping tom. You don't look at You're staring at the people's houses while I watch porn. That a weird dude, wouldn't you rather notice is what this guy is doing at that hour with the curtain wide open. Now I know, and now I know. Tell my daughter don't trick or treat at that guy's house. Uh, we got birds and stuff. My mother, look my mother and my mother times you go check at the binoculars. I'll look at the bird, you know, not as often as I do for neighbors. Yeah, look at that cardinal. Look at that card but look below her. It's stowing her from behind. My mother in law's got a telescope that it looks like it is so hot it looks so nice. It opens up. No one even knows what it is until you open it up, and it's just you can really see what time it is. But all your neighbors. Oh God, so you don't have anything like that. I'm surprised. I thought that was like as common as a flashlight. Man, are you kidding me? If I went home then I said, Lana, do me a favor, go find the binocular She'd go, we don't have that. Well, I'll tell you if I get you a pay, I might have an extra pay. My father was a hunt He always has so many little mini ones. I guarantee you're gonna get addicted. Man, You're gonna get addicted. The mini ones are even worse. If if somebody has a big set of binoculars, that's one thing. When you got those little ones, that is at a level of perversion that I can't even described. Man, Well, the little it's much more subtle. You got the big ones. They see you with those. Forget it, man. I think if you've got the bigger ones, you're actually looking for stuff that could possibly be interesting, whether it be a bird or whatnot. Those little ones you're trying to be like, uh, I don't know. It's it seems like you're bringing in alcohol and one of those little flasks where you you're trying to hide. Yeah, man, you're being sneaky. Absolutely, yeah, you're right, man. God, So how long are you out in l A. I do Marins thing and I fly home at ten ten and uh and then um, next week I play in mcgoobi's and outside of Baltimore, which I love, looking forward to that, and then I shut it down, as you would say, for the holidays Atlanta punch Line on New Year's Even. I'm doing three shows on New Year's Even, Atlanta punch Line, and then on January feet and second I'm playing Gotham in New York City. So what's up? Were you plugging? What do we got going? You're shutting us down? Where we go? No, no, no, I was just I was just wondering where you're your whereabouts? Where I'm in Arizona right now will be a stand up live to Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and then I shut it down. I go from what December seven to the next time I pick it up January fifteen. Yeah, I got a nice six weeks off. That's fantastic. Oh yeah, So I'm looking forward. Lana and I are trying to figure out somewhere to go for New Year's Eve. We wanted to go back to Cabo San Lucas, but the place that we wanted to stay at is entirely booked, So we just wanted to do like a three day kind of like end of the year relaxation deal. But I think we wait did too long. So we're trying to figure out what our New Year's Eve plans are. But pick it back up in Boston people at the Wilbert Theater Friday and Saturday night fifteenth and sixteenth, and then we go on to run until I until I shoot my special in New York in May seventh. But a couple other things I just wanted to touch on as we are here on the Pete and Sebastian show. Uh, coming up on two hundred here. I don't know if again, you know, we this comes up every monumental one hundred, one fifty whatever it is. Do we do anything with I don't know. I mean I I sometimes I think it's cool how we don't do anything, and at other times I think, well, you know, shouldn't we do something? Well, we regret it if we don't, I mean, are you even gonna keep going beyond two hundred before before we make a big deal out of two hundred? I mean, well, when will Foul calls and say, we love that little piece you David, we want to give you a lead. I mean, are you gonna be able to do it from the set, because I ain't making a big deal out of two hundred if there ain't gonna be no two ten. So yeah, it's gonna be too ten. I was just talking in regards to do we do anything special if we have anything in the pipeline, But I know you know the guests and never seemed to pay out, So I just say, we just plowed through. Maybe an extra episode. I don't know I'll do next. Look, I know Matthew Modine and I said something about his movie things. I shouldn't have said, what about you? You got by the way sneinfeld s thought in a residency at the Beacon and it goes to first ever residency at the Beacon for a comedian, and I'm like, actually it's the second, because there's one going on in early May. If you haven't gotten a memo. So but that's very interesting. But yeah, you're the one who's hob nobbing. Man. If we're gonna do guess it's got to be a connect shown me through you. Even even if it's like you know someone like Brett earn Stiffe, they've never met him. You got all the l A comics. That a funny that your friends with. I mean, I don't know if you want to do that. Um do we do the wives? Do we have DJ Lou and Jimmy from Boston? Um? Do we do? We just you know, go hard for lol by the way, I don't know. We gotta come up with something. Let's let's hash that out. In the meantime. This just in breaking news, just put out by Bill Bird. The Thursday afternoon Monday Morning podcast is up. Uh. He sits down with friend and fellow comic Pete Correally, so go to bill Bert dot com get the newest and latest edition of his podcast, the Number eight Podcast on iTunes. Please tell me, please tell me you mentioned the Pete and Sebastian show. Yeah, he he's on all that. Man, he does before you have to. At the end, he mentions that you have a cast for me and you. I went on coning and had cone and say it all right, I mean, okay, I'm not saying you have it, So I'm just saying this is a podcast type of show, same type of listenership. So I thought, maybe we get a couple of plugs on it, that's all. No, Yeah, I'm hoping. I'm hoping people come over and listen to us. From that man, um Burke called me one of his favorites of all time. And then I'm only bringing this up because I Maren wrote a book called The Jerusalem Syndrome that I read years ago, and I had him sign it, and I noticed because I was when I was going to see him the book. I took a photo of it because he wrote, uh, You're one of my favorite comedians. And then he put the date. It was, oh three boy for two guys that I'm one of the favorite comedians. I mean, I'm on episode nine thousand and seventy two of Marin's So I guess he had to get his the not favorites out of the way first. I'm gonna show him a photo and go Marion for a favorite guy. Took me a hell of a long time to get on here. No, just it was great doing buildings this is my be mental. This is the number six and number eight podcasts right now on iTunes that you're gonna be on in less than a two week period here, And I'm just going right now to see if we crack the the two hundred already and still nothing. But by the end of this I wouldn't I would I think that we would break the top fifty. Yeah, well, Maverns doesn't come out. It won't come out until either late December or early January. Okay, so he's okay better. Yeah, so it gives us some time to to soak in on the burn. Yeah. I got an interesting email recently. In a nutshell, people are coming back to the catalog. People are finding us and they go back to the beginning because we're not very current events at all. And now there's been whisper about do we want to start charging for the catalog, not for the current episodes but for the old ones. Yeah, that did come up. Uh. We could set it where you get like the last ten for free, but if you want to go listen to one or two or three, you could set a price point, whether it be you subscribe for ninety nine cents a dollar ninety nine them or whatever it is, and uh, what's the thoughts on that? I mean, we might as well just hash it out here, you know, I mean, you know me, guy, if it was like me, I'd be like, I ain't paying you ninety nine cents, you know, if it's just yeah, I get it, but uh, but you know, it's just listen. I gotta I got a favorite couple of podcasts that I listened to. Okay, if tomorrow they said, you know, it's gonna be a dollar ninety mine a month to to listen, I'd pay it, no problem, no problem. Well I get them for free right now. But if they started charging me, I'm such a fan of the of the shows, I go, I pay. We ain't even doing that. We're saying, we give you ten of the recent ones for free. So if you're you're grandfathered in, if if you've been listening since day one, you've got all of them already. So and I know some people go back, but if they wanted to go back, they would just have to pay. It's just something to think about. Man, I don't know. I don't even know how many listeners we have. For Christ's sake, I don't either. I mean maybe the ones we have a very like I get a lot of um. They feel a part of something that other people don't know how great it is, and that's what they love about it, which you know is I'm glad that's how they feel. But I don't know. Maybe we should just charge like a thousand dollars for subscription per month, and maybe we'll just get like six dudes. But they're really rich and and we even address them by name when we start everyone off. Good morning, Ken, Bill, Kathy, and Tim. Good to have you on board to six grand clear. All right, let's go either way speaking of cash and high faluting and rocking and rolling. I gotta tell you because I gotta tell the ones when the ball drops the other way. This is an incredible flying story. I'll make really quick. This is the flying news. I check in to come to l A. I get that early, very early for my flight out of buff Low, and I have a connector at Philly and it's gonna be tight to make that connector and get to l A. I go up to the counter only because there's nobody there. I say to the guy, Listen, I wouldn't bother if there was nobody here, but man, I got a tight connector in Philly, and I'm just worried. Is there a layter flight? Maybe I should just get booked on so I don't have to worry about it, if you could. I hate to bolly. I don't even know if you can help me, and maybe I just have to land in Philly and take my chances. The guy goes, git me a ticket. He starts punching some stuff up. He looks up at me and goes, how about you leave here a half hour earlier, but you go to Chicago. But when you get to Chicago, you're gonna have an hour and fifteen minute layover, but you know it's a little long. I guess, I don't know. And then we'll get from Chicago to l A. And he goes, so you don't have to worry about you lay over, and he looks at at me. He goes, I can put your first class the whole way. Oh what what, I goes December Onet, I go, hey, I guess this is my first Christmas gift of the year. Look that dummy, But I'm like, thank you oh much? Man, Holy sh it, Yeah, I really appreciate. That's the thing too. When you pack light. I mean I had a briefcase, that's all I fluid. I packed so light. They think I'm ices bro so, But now I want to say I'm on first class and specifically from Chicago to l A dude, you know more than me, But I have my list here. No, no more hot washcloth. That's absurd. What are you flying? What American airlines? No washcloth? That's absurd. That should you should get one? You're still getting your washcloth most of the airlines. Yeah, all right, we all have our coats. We put them on our laps. They wait until everyone's boarded and settled in before they come and take my coat. What happened to come and right over taking my coat, hanging it and getting me a drink right away? Yeah? That that they've been lacking on. I don't understand the whole don't take the coat right away and offer a beverage. It's like everybody seated, and then right before we take off, would you like an orange juice? Sir? It's like, come on, I'm just sitting here for twenty five minutes. Yeah, yeah, take my order as I pass you to go to my first class seat, you know. Uh, And then he has another one. Another guy in first class gets on the plane, but he wasn't there right away when we all first got on, so some people already in coach. So he goes to sit in his first class seat. All the luggage above is taking because people and coach animals dropping it off and there on their way to back. He's looking around. The flight attendant says to him, maybe this somewhere in the back you can put it. I would do. I would have been like, honey, you can hold it in your fucking hand for all I care. For three hours I'm in first class. You find put it on the pilot's lap. Sweet on, you're making this guy go down the aisle. I literally go, guy, I think I got some room over here. I mean, what are we getting? Just the biggest seat, bro? And then the last one the curtain, the curtain separating us, holy ship. There were so many people coming from coach. The first thing. I thought it was a cabaret show. I mean, every every seconds, oh, here comes the curtain again, next number. So is this the new way up there, bro? Because what are we paying for? Just the seat? That's it. That's it. You pay for the seat. The bathroom is supposed to be used for first class only, but you might as well just send the entire playing up to first class for it's it's a constant stream of people. It's unbelievable. There's a light breeze coming out of the back. Oh man, holy cow. So basically you're really better off just paying like you can pay an extra forty bucks and get the emergency exit rowing coach. Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's probably the best way to go. Go on the aisle in the emergency coach. And it's really no different. I mean, the seat is what maybe twenty five percent bigger if that? Yeah, not not not like so much bigger that you don't feel the presence of your neighbor. You still feel they're still there. Might this guy I got on I don't know what this guy was thinking last night on my trip here to Arizona. I'm sitting down, I'm in the aisle. There's an emptycat to uh to my right, and uh, I have my phone on. You know, where they put the drinks in between you and the passengers, is like an area there where they put the drink, of course, but I had my phone there, and I had my headphones plugged into my phone. I was listening to an audio book, but you could see the cover of the audio book on the face of my phone. It wasn't dark. So the guy gets in. He's very frenatic, he's kind of all over the place, bigger guy, and he goes, uh no, no, no, no, no no, because I was I was gonna get up. Don't you get up out of your seat to let the person into the window. Yes, okay, so you don't I see people like they scooch back, like that's gonna make a difference. They do it a little knee over knee, like turning the hip. I'm like, he's still gonna get my ass in your face. Yeah, So he goes no, no, no, no, don't get up, don't get up, don't I go no, God, let me get up and make it easier for you to get in. So he gets and he sits down. He goes, you could go back to playing your little video game. Oh. I'm like, what video I go no, go no, no, no, go go ahead and go back and play. I go it ain't a video game, and if it was, I wouldn't even know how to play it. And then he shut up. But I don't know what where that came from? My little video game? Yeah, I mean, I don't know what that was about, but I'm glad you didn't rebuttle with that you're listening to an audio book, because that's like Baily and step up. I have to say, when you finish an audiobook and someone brings up the book, do you say, oh, yeah, I read that, or do you say, oh, I listened to that, or do you just pretend you read it because they don't have to know what funny you say, this is my first audio book. What do you think? What do you think you're going with? If it comes up in coffee shop talk, I said I read it. I say I read it that. So I'm sitting there. I'm sitting there and this guy is watching a video on his iPhone and again, and I forgive me if we talked about this in the past, but how do you feel about people either watching the movie on the plane or watching something on their vice and laughing out loud on the plane. Have you seen this? Yeah, I've seen that. I've seen that. What is that? Have you ever done that? A couple of times I've actually like, like you've gone, yeah, I did it today, I did it today, not non public. I was in my room. I was alone in my room. Yeah, but on a plane. I didn't look. It's said it slipped that once or twice. He listen to you. If you get into these audio books, this one you got now is probably not a comedy, but yo, you might find yourself going. It was. It was he doing it incessantly and a just one little thing. Yet, Okay, this guy was he was going, but he was he would actually I wish this was a video where he'd see what he was doing. He was shaking his body when he laughed. Come on. Yeah, it was weird. It didn't go with the laugh. It just when he laughed, his body moved. It was weird. I was like, what are you doing? Man? How do you get up there? I mean, this is what I'm talking about. This is right up there with no hot towel. How is a guy like that getting through the system. I don't know. I mean, just because you got the cash the first class, that's only half of the battle. This should be a profile. Yeah, you got the money for first class, but you don't got the class for first class. Well, somebody shaking the whole body now, I know. We brought this up before, but I'm going to reiterate it, and I think this is more of a time than ever that that we need. This is that a flying app where you go on the flying app and you go and see who's sitting around you, and everybody has a profile. Now, if if I had this guy's profile, I would type in sat next to passenger x y Z tends to laugh out loud and shake his body when he laughs. Now that's in the profile. So when he books another seat, people are able to click on his profile and go, I ain't sitting next to that. Don't you think that would be a good happen. No, it's just it's I had to book to check in today on my flight twenty four hours in advance, and that was a nightmare. Dude. It's just it's people don't aren't as computer savvy as you. Who's gonna check a profile and decide not to sit next to a guy? You crush your fingers. It's all you can do. Man. Besides, besides, dude, if you were on that thing, did it be like you Di'd be like two people you'd sit next to you? You literally have to put in is Sally going to Phoenix? By any chance, I don't mind sitting next to Sally. I mean, dude, just don't worry. You're going private soon enough. By the way, a level of fame and how quick it can happen. I'm literally watching the world news today and you know, again, God blessed the people in San Bernardino, all these freaking shootings and ship but um, they're going, yeah, fourteen confirmed and passed away, and it's that and they go and here's a tweet from Amy Schumer and then it's a tweet from her saying my heart goes out to the DA Da da and then and then the guy goes, yeah, you know, and Amy would really know because she had a screening. There was a screening of her movie where that was a shooting. And it's like, I'm not taking anything away from Amy. I'm just saying the power of fame. Like the producers of the show said, let's read Amy Schumer's text in the middle of and like, can you imagine being that famous? Like I come through l A X this big picture of her on the wall, then you come to your room and the news people quoting you a tweet. It's like, there's no I would you would have to think you god, I mean enough people saying you're God. I'm God, I am God. That's just so famous. It's unbelievable how quickly it happens. Wow, yeah, man, it's it's it, it goes. And when it goes, man, it's a steamroll. We Wow, you're seeing it. You're seeing it. So anyway, um, yeah, I guess that's that's what That's what I got here. I don't have any other loose ends, any other news topics. Do you want to comment on this? Fourteen people? Is that just too serious for our show? Yeah? That's too serious, I think, I mean, I do the last comment I want to make it. I just saw its commercial waiting to start this show, and if it's the new route they're going with all soldiers, I don't know who came up with this. I love this so much, talk about, you know, trying to make money for these guys who deserve it when they come back to the States that you know, the soldiers over there. There was a commercial today for a watch. I don't know if you ever heard of this watch, Almtron. It's like it's like a high scale watch, like an expensive watch. They gotta this is the commercial soldier standing there in citys you know, regular clothes, now, good looking guy saying how he got blown up overseas, you know, fighting, uh, wearing that watch, got better, got healthy back in the States. Found we got the watch, cleaned it off, turned it on and it's still worked. And he goes, that's the power of this watch. And then he closes. I think he said something like this watch it's my sword. I mean, I'm buying the watch. So this is the route with these guys now, I mean talking about like to say, I was in a foxhole. I hadn't eaten in three days. My buddy had some double bubble um. I shoot that ship for two days. That gave me the energy I needed to keep the fucking ices out of the foxhole. I'm getting double bubble. We found it. Yeah, advertising from the warfield. It could be a new trend, could be a new trend, man, absolutely, I would tell you everybody these guys need though, man, just give it to him already. Why yeah, why can't the guy wear an Adidas logo when he's watching through the desert outfit the cameouflage with Nike. I mean, what is it that hard? Oh? Man? You know what it's like to go thirty days in a foxhole with rain and snow, and then you're up in the Afghani mountains and you don't get the shower for thirty days. You know how the difficult that is. Let me tell you, folks, not that difficult at all. If you wear on Lulu Lemon, you go. I'll tell you man, if this marin thing blows up, I'm getting ready to do my binocular commercial. Oh dude, great hanging with you. Miss. Go enjoy your your your marine things, safe travels back and we'll reconvene on this thing once a week. We we got it back up and running. Sorry for the hiccup, but hey, Turkey was calling, and uh, I'm gonna go shopping for my for my sponge and dawn. Here you go, man, good hanging brother. Take care the show has ended. You don't play well via text an email? You don't you don't you You don't sound soft. It sounds angry. Yeah, you should think about using those uh memes. Oh those emojis, all the emojis like a yellow yellow little yellow smiley faces. Yea, yeah, they could help you