Pete and Sebastian Show 191

Published Oct 16, 2015, 11:41 PM
Pete is stuck on a boat before his new special comes out and Sebastian gets coffe with Seinfeld in this hilarious new episode!

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You're listening to the Pete and Sebastian Show on the riot Cast Network riot cast dot com. This is the Pete and Sebastian Show with Pete Coralli and Sebastian menascals go peting Biscuit. It's Jamie from Boston, so the show's want to watch pregame rituals. Huh, well, let's do our pop boys, So listen up, j J. It's time to buckle up that chin strap, tighten up them cleats, and get out there on that field and kick some fucking ass here. I guess what the Jacksonville Jaguats this week. I need you to get out there and tack or whatever ship quarterback it's throwing out there these days. You gotta attack that bastard like Pete's guys attack one another. And then white corduroy pants and oh my god, Patty, listen, you've done some bouncy ship in your day, but to purchase and then wear a pair of cord not only corduroy pants, white cornuroy pants. What the hell are you thinking? Listen, kids, Unless you are some sort of extra and a Johnny Holmes eighties water bed point, there is no need to possess a parrel of white cornroy pants. Get your ship together, kid, all m soup in the floor, soap and up the doors here, turn on the lights, getting ready for the night. Nobody's from that cause it's too early for dance. Somebody he comes to music right last fashion at the lack of mana because the band of the dance on the night on the town? Who with the big man on the man Pete Sebastian show? We all back? Well, I think, let me let you explain the situation. You're at least on land, all right? For the listeners, I'm I'm still trying to get a hang of what the hell's happening here? We have Pete at sea, but he's calling me from I don't even know where you're calling me from. And I gotta ask right off the back, because I know you're a man of kind of uh watching what you spent? What's this costing? It is funny that you say that because it is pricey. And when you call, let's say it's it's per minute, right, So let's say I call you and I hang up or we disconnect after sixty one seconds. Okay, I get charged for two minutes even though, this fifty nine seconds left over. So yeah, so it's like you could have three and a half hours of time. You leave like four messages, You go to make your next call, and the lady comes along and goes you have thirty four minutes later, thirty four minutes, lady, I didn't even get a hold of anybody. Oh man, So I gotta know what the hell it is? It costing a minute? Oh you beat, but you would be surprised for a straight through phone call like this. It's like you get a ten dollar plan or a twenty dollar plan, and the twenty dollar plan gives you like a hundred and twenty minutes two hours. So for twenty bucks, if it's twenty bucks, I get to do the cast. What are you kidding me? Man, that's a no brainer, all right, I'm thinking this is like a dollar a minute. No, you know what it is more than anything. I couldn't figure out a method to do the show without internet. And then you know the stakes are higher now, man, people need to hear from us as a lot going on and moving and shaking. We gotta keep the momentum going. And uh I had to mcguive that ship. I had to make my brain work overdrive, and all of a sudden, the light bulb went off, and I'm like, I think we can do through the phone. But let's not tell the secret. Bro. It's so simple, but a lot of people would be blown away at the simplicity of it. You're right, and just to let the listeners, no, we aren't even on the VS sky. This is actually a recorded phone call. And there's a couple of things I have to mention in regards to what's happening here. There is a slight l a I would say four to five seconds on the on the call, So on the cast, you're maybe not going to hear the interruptions that Pete and I typically do if there was a story and I had a question or whatnot, it's gonna be a different animal this show. However, the content and the humor is still alive and well, I couldn't agree more. Keep in mind, I'm on a ship somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, Sebastians in a hotel, uh which you'll get to in Florida, which and uh so so so nobody's nobody's near the studio, nobody's on their home field. But again, the show must go on. It's going on. And having said all that, did we get right into it? Do we get right into it? You had a big week? I mean, maybe we should tease it taste me massive. I'm tempting. I'm tea well, you know, I maybe we should, Maybe we should do a few things kind of peppering around. Let's kind of talk daily life here. First of all, I want to know if you've been in in any incidents on the boat. Has there been any arguments, any travel experiences that we need to be filled in on here before we start getting into the meat and bones of the of the show. Well, it's it's interesting, man. I gotta I gotta tow the line of what I say when I'm on this boat, because obviously leave there's a reason I'm on the boat. Uh. But like, for example, tonight, this boat apparently they did so scored so well on their last cleanliness tests by the safety inspector that they're having a big party tonight for all the crew. Uh, you know, in like some club that's normally for guests. Um, so everybody's very excited. They're all there right now. They're like, you're getting ready at the party. We're going to the party. And my first question to you is if I was on this boat and I wanted to go to that club tonight and they go, oh, it's closed tonight. We have a crew party already, wouldn't you be at the front desk on what the funk? What he means closed? I would think that they would have a crew party after all the guests, the you know, got off the the boat, and then they could have the whole boat to have their own party. But they have a crew employee party while people are paying, customers are on the boat. Is come on, man, Yeah, Well it's the same thing is they have this pool, kittie pool area where they have these kitty characters that shoot water out and it slides and this that, and it's like it'll entertain Sadie for hours and it's my go to because she's coming on the boat next week. And um, it was broken and it was like it was literally black tarp tying it down and it said out of order, right, and I'm looking at they got another little baby pool and it's packed with kids. Because the first two days when the boat goes out, you're at sea and there's nothing to do except hanging out by the pools and it's packed with kids, and I'm looking for angry parents because I'd be furious. And dude, I'm working on the boat and I'm going out to employees, going, so, what's up with that kitty thing? Then? Man, my daughter is coming on next week. We've getting that figured out. And they go, oh, be by wednesday. And then come Wednesday, and like, what's going on with that day? We're getting I figured to have and then bye bye bye. The next day after that, they come up to me and they go, we finally got to work and just for your daughter, you know, And I, oh, you know what. I'm like, thanks so much for my head. I'm like you damn right, guy, I'll sink the fucking both. Now do you feel do you feel more like a passenger and a guest or do you feel it sounds like you feel like you don't work for the company that that's such a fantastic question, dude, because that's the yin and yang it is. And this, you know, nightmare when you're a performer and you and you're on one of these I've never had this before, but this time I come on the boat and I look at my schedule and they tell me one day from like nine thirty till eleven thirty, that's two hours in the morning. I have to go to some course about the neuro virus and boat safety. And I go to the guy in charge this time, the guy in charge and entertainment. I go, dude, what's what's up at this? I don't do this stuff. I know it's ridiculous, but sometimes we have a strict captain and he wants the entertainers to do it, and this particular captain wants the entertainers to do it. You with me so far, Yeah, I'd have to say that you are not liable to go to this damn thing. Well, I mean maybe maybe not right, But if I say I'm not going to it, they could. They'll go great. When we get back to Miami, you can get off the boat. And it's like, obviously, I'm on the boat because I need the bread. I'm not on the boat for the for the fucking toys life with the kids, obviously, because that's out of order. So are you going? Well, he is the deal man. I went because I was thinking about making a stink out of it. But as you know, Jackie and Sadia coming on next week. So even if I get out of it and then next week, they're like, when you know you have to do it. We talked to corporate. Now, got my family here, and I'm doing this stupid thing. So I went to it and just you know, said to hell with it. And my first office, well, I'm not going to pay attention, right, I'm just gonna sit in the back. So you know, I've been on this boat before and it's just so many nooks and crannies you don't know about. They take us down the staircase, four levels down well underneath the water now, and then all of a sudden you you come out into this big room and there's like ten computers and they all have Rosetta stone for free, and it's all for the crew to come down whenever they want fucking work on English. Fucking cubicles were empty, bro, they don't give her ship, you know what, They're on their Rubler to Russia. Let's be honest with fucking Poodin. So so the company gives uh lessons in language, um, just in case that people want to start picking up. This is this is not classes. This is all on your own. If you want to go down there. Yes, they have computers down there that have Internet service, but the Internet on the computers down in this particular place where I never was before. If you go on those computers, it will only take you to the corporate website and all their policies, or else to Rosetta Stone. And I don't think anyone's buttering up on their French, if you know what I'm saying. Bro So, So then you walk, you walk past that room and then it opens up into this giant lecture room and you're like, Jesus, I never would have expected this is here, you know, with carpet and rows and rows of chairs and you know, and and like total yeah, student type lecture thing. This is well well away from passengers. And then you I sit in the back. I figured, like I said, I'm not gonna pay attention. And this guy comes out and he starts up with his lecture and he does a slide show, and the slide show is pretty quick, and after twenty minutes he says thank you for your time, and he walks out. So I go, well, this is why did they say eleven thirty that was no big deal? Was a dump slideshow about Nora virus. I'm gone, So I go out file. I go right out behind the guy and the first one out I'm I'm out the door. And next thing you know, I hear another man back in the lecture room yell okay, now sign up again, folks, because now we've got to kick off with the safety course. Where did that gentleman go? Where'd that gentleman go? And I'm like, is he talking about me? And I can see through like the glass window that like he's looking out the door as he's saying with that gentleman, I could see his reflection. So I peeked my head in and he goes, don't be afraid, come on back in, like like what what do you? What do you think? I'm like nervous to learn English and I'm coming to night school something. What are you? Who are you talking to? Gay? So so I go back in and he goes, were you going? I go anywhere? And going? The guy said he's done, and he goes, oh, done with that part. Now we gotta do the safety course. Have a seat. So I sit down in the back and this guy proceeds to tell everybody some people do safety courses from England. Some people do safety course. Differently, they just rattle it off and you can do what you want. If you sleep when I'm doing it, I'll call you out on it. I'll stop talking, I'll call you out and we'll all wait. Uh. And he was doing this kind of stuff like people would look away for a second. He looked back over and he goes, sir, what's up you all right? What are you looking at? Sir? Listen to me, not that. And it was just brutal. This corporate world is brutal. And by the way, this is lastly, this is the kind of stuff that's going on in this safety course. He goes, so, no candles are allowed on the boat at all, in your rooms anywhere else. No matches or lighters can be used in your room because if you have a fire on the boat. And then he looks at everyone. He goes, okay, everybody, when you have a fire at home, who do you call? And like nobody says anything, right, and he goes, who do you call if you have a fire at home? And then he finally he'll go, come on, people, are you even listening? I want to go, yeah, dude, we're listening. We're just not retotted. We call a fucking fireman, so just continue with election. So so he goes you qualifier man, We're like, yeah, we know, well we don't have fireman on the boat, so we have to put the fire out ourselves. And I've been on boats with and you're just like, dude, I sling jokes. What am I doing here? God, it's like one of those guys that's running a class and he's searching for the answer, like he gives it to the class to answer right, and and a lot of times, like you said, people don't want to go and we call the fireman. You just you answer your own question and move the meeting along. Yeah, yes, or else will go who's been on the ship before, and like nobody raises their hand? And he goes who's first time on the ship, and nobody raises their hand. And then he looks at his board and he goes, well, I know ten of you are new, so where am I new? And you're like, guy, just go go into thing man. Anyone, anyone, great Depression past the anyone anyone A tariff bill the Holly Smoot Tariff Act, which anyone raised or lowered raised tariffs in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work on the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. So you know, so then is that and then once that's overdude, it's just this, it's this overall thing. If everybody on this boat is like mostly Filipino but all far and and like you just I just get worn out with And this is nothing against them, because you know, they're all nice to each other and stuff, but like I just say hi to people and I get grunts or I get nods because you know, and I just want to be like, can somebody use the Rosetta Stone police so I can have a conversation in the elevator. So but anyway, you gotta love Royal Caribbean. Yeah, nobody knows is that the brand? Is that what he's on? Who knows? Like it's just two days ago, you know, Like I'm I have a reception because I'm in St. Thomas and I'm on the edge of the boat and I'm outside and I'm talking to Jackie and I noticed is not cool or anything, but like I'm over the ledge over the water and I spit. But it wasn't like a hard food, you know, I just spit as I'm talking to her, And as soon as I spit, I go, oh ship, and I turn around. I look behind me and it's like four people drinking martinis and having lunch and see food right through the window and they're looking right at me. And not to sound conceited, but I've already done well on some shows if I can't do well on a fucking cruise ship, right guy. So so I'm like, all I need is one of them to go to the captain going. You know, the comedian was spitting over the side. So now I'm huffing and puffing around to another location. Jackie's like, why are you moving? It's I spit over the ledge. I'm afraid they're gonna report it. So it's just like, I, dude, it's more navy than it is hotel floating on water when you're working on a cruise ship. Yeah, so that's well, you can't even you can't even spit off the side without getting dude. Then I go in to do the show in the MC is an old black and he's like, I'm not used to do in ten minutes. I usually open for the Temptations in the four seasons, and I'm like, I don't know, what is that, what's the difference with that? But I come in and before the show, I've never seen this before. His guy's glasses on, and I'm like, Dallas, he got underneath his eyes. It's like, and I look closer and somehow he made them stick. He's not even laying back. He's walking around the green room, but he's got lemons underneath each eye stuck there slices of lemon. And then right before they announced him, he takes the lemons off and he puts both hands. Sorry. I know, I know he's supposed to wait and there's a delay, but I'm dying to find out what the lemon thing is. I don't know what the lemon thing is. I I'm afraid to ask him because he's just like he's not it's not like going well for the guy. He's like only on for a week and it's a trial run, and uh, he's just you know, he's been around forever and stuff, and it's like, you know, it's said, it's like, you know, God damn, but at the end of the day, I'm floating, but you're not walking around with lemons, and oh, you gotta that would have been my first question, right, even even me passing him on stage going up, I would have asked, you gotta tell me what those lemons are for after I get off. Now, this is the kind of guy that you don't ask anything because he not only is you have the lemons on him. And like I said, which I thought it was weird, and it took me a while. I didn't even realize it was lemons until I saw slices of lemon on the table and then I realized, Oh, that's what's on his eyes because he's like, he's so nervous, and he's walking all around and he's doing nine minutes man on a cruise, you know. So then right before when they were announcing, and he takes the lemon ands off and he puts both hands way up high against the wall. He stands facing the walls if like a cop was frisking you, but not, and he puts him way way high up in the air and he puts his head against the wall, and uh, he like says some stuff about God. You know, I don't like what do you don't know what? Gay? Yeah, I mean, you're about to talk about the leado that having shovel board oh man before he gets off, though, you have to ask him that's that's a definite question. I don't wanna. I want to know if that reduces swelling? What that? What is that? Well check this out last night after i'd be right before the show. There's a little bathroom backstage and he's on stage now. I told him, if I'm not here when you go on, don't worry. I'll be here when you announce me. And he goes, oh, that's fine, you don't have to be here anymore. So it was the first time I was doing that. So when I got into the green room, he was already on stage for a few minutes. So I got to go to the bathroom. I go to take a leak. I go into the bathroom. I hesitate to say this, bro that was a that was a natural delay. I lift up the bowl and there's crap like on the bowl, like you know, like it didn't hit the water when someone craps and it hits the back and sticks, and a little bit was even on the undecided a seat. And I'm like, you know, who would do this? You know most of the people that work on the boat, are like real careful about their cleanliness. And then I'm so grossed out by I can't even touch it. And I go to wash my hands, and I grab a paper towel from this bathroom and I dry my hands, and when I go back out, it was a very specific type of paper towel only this back green room seemed to have. So then when I came out his sliced lemons for that show, We're on the same type of paper to owel, which made me think he took a dump while he had the lemons on his eyes, and that fucking bowl, which made me not care for him more. But I still don't know, But that was over. It doesn't mean I don't care for him, goddamn, isn't it it. It just means like, no, it's okay. You know that totally turns you off when you find out that someone either left pissing the toilet in your bathroom and or ship. I mean, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I've had this happen to me time and time again where I'm sharing the green room. You know, you go to the club and the feature of the m C whatever, they're in the green room and they said, decided to take a piss or use the bathroom. And then I go in there, it's either it's the pisces just in the toilet. They look like they fucking hose down the bathroom. They right, and it's like and then I'm thinking to myself, do I gotta announce when I come in on Thursday night? Hey, listen, you use that bathroom. I better not see a drop of any of your fluid in the bathroom. Absolutely, man, It's like it should be understood. Yeah, so I'm totally with you. I mean, the lemons and and the crap on the on the porcelain. The guys were running out a three out of ten right now, I can't totally prove that the bathroom was in Yeah, well, i mean put two one two together. Man. Well so that's where I'm at. Man, That's where I'm at with that. Um. Other than that, just one more short note. My face. As I get older, my physical appearance is really it's really starting the ball than me. Do you do you ever have that feeling? Oh god, that's funny you mentioned this. I've been having this feeling for the last six months. I've been looking in the mirror and I'm not recognizing who I'm seeing really, man, Yeah, I mean the I'm talking, Um, there's some like deep I was talking a lot about this. I go, I think I'm I think I'm aging in the last six months more than I aged in the last five years. I feel like it just all kind of said, you know what, We're all gonna come out now. Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Man, Why what are you feeling? Well? You know when like you know when like it like if you were gonna suck in on a straw something, right. I guess it's called your bowels, right, that line that comes around on each side of your mouth like a monkey has a bow. You mean, Joss are foreshooting? Yeah? Yeah, mine is just so mine is so thick and old. Now that if I if I'm in the sun for a while and then I take my fingers and I pulled my skin back, there's a tan line where I didn't get color because there's a fold over on my fucking old face. Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about, right, it's coming right off the nostrils. It's almost like a mustache, but higher. Yeah, it's like if I was an extra and planet of the apes. I'd be out of hair and make up a half hour before everybody else. Yeah. Man, it's getting, it's getting. We're getting older. Bro. Jackie one time took her fingers and just pushed up my skin to explain what a what a facelift would be like. I mean, she just did a light push above each cheek, pushed back. I dropped fifteen years. I could have moved to another town, said, I'm thirty two years old. No one with now Is that something that you would consider getting a getting a facelift? Oh me? Oh my god. No man. But it's just like I've been shaving sometimes. You know, more and more, go clean shaven, let the beard grow, then go clean shaven. But I think I'm just gonna buzz it now and never show skin again. Man, no one needs to see this old map. Hey, this is DJ Luke show. Within a show. Last week, the guys were talking about dreams. I like a good dream story. So last week I had a dream about meeting Eddie Vetter and it was so frustrating because the camera on my phone was okin and I couldn't Nobody had a camera phone, nobody was around. I'm not paying at pension, so I couldn't prove that I was meeting him. It isn't even real. I'm fucking helf listening. So then he takes me surfing, which is shoot, it's the weirdest thing. I feel like I've been in a coma for about twenty years one more. And we would have to eat, and he was singing to me a little bit, and we're talking about the writing process. And you know, I didn't tell him a big fan I was because I don't want to scare them my weight. And then uh, I still can't out of camera. I can't get any recording of this, can't take a picture of us surfing, surfing with EDIV. So then Eddie V comes back to Mike, don't be a planning jersey, and which is also weird because I don't play video games, not a fucking gamer. No one cares about your dream fat so who edits your story? Jimmy from Boston, here's another blue hard Your grammar is perfect, by the way. And then all of a sudden I see his shoes come off and he's barefoot, and he says, well, I guess I'm staying the night. And then I woke up before things got too bouncy. I'm not them wrong with a good dream story. This has been DJ Louse show within a show, boring you to death with a fucking Eddie better dream story. Now back to the Pete and it's about Joe love All. So let's get into it, man, comedians and calls. We didn't talk about it on the show. Before we get into that, I gotta talk about something that's fresh on my mind. And I'm hearing in Miami, Florida doing a corporate doing a corporate gig in Miami here, and I just landed today and I went over the Whole Foods to grab some stuff for the room, and then I saw Jimmy John's. Now Lina's gonna kill me that I had a Jimmy Johns because she knows how my body reacts with wheat products, and uh but you know what, I saw it, and I'm like, I gotta I gotta taste for a Jimmy John. No, it's a sandwich place. For those of the people that don't know what it is. I walk in, I'm the only person in the joint, and I walk in happy. I got a happy uh aura about myself. Normally I walk in I don't really say much. But I walk in. I look at who's behind the counter. It's a girl and a and a guy's making sandwiches, so before I even sized them up, like, hey, how's it going today? And I get a look of like disappointment that I walked in. So I look at the menu. I'm not really familiar with it, but I want to make a quick decision. So I see a turkey thing. I said, I get the turkey sandwich and I'll have it on this this week bread. And you know, nothing, no, no, Like I don't like when they don't tell you how much it is, like that you're like you're supposed to guess when they're done ringing it up. You know, like there's a I like when they go at six dollars and eighty one since I don't want to have to find it on the register, so all uh, I get no total. I'm on and then you know, you know, she gives me like a like a gesture towards towards the I go, I'm on six. Okay, I get a cut of car. Now I'm sitting there waiting for the sandwich and the guy looks at me. The guy making the sandwich. Is one of this guys that looks like he was an ex football player but didn't have a backup plan. He didn't make it into the NFL, but now he's making sandwiches. Yeah, you know that game. So he's angry to begin with. He used to be sacking quarterbacks. Now he's taking out turkey and let us and slapping it on wheat. So he goes, hey, yo, your sandwich is ready, like angry, So I think I said that said thank you's only going outside and I'm on the I'm on the patio. I'm eating the damn sandwich. And it was so good, so good I had to go back in and get another sandwich. So I walked back in and the guys looking at me, I go that sandwich was so delicious, I gotta have you make me another one. Now, thinking if if you heard that as an employee somewhere, that you made something that was really good that someone wants another one, it would put a smile on your face. The guy looked at me and he goes, now, mind you, no one's come in the restaurant since I've ordered my sandwich, And he looks at me, goes, what kind of sandwich was it? He was just five minutes ago. But that's that's that's the chain. That's the problem with chains, man. Come on, you're telling me the guy literally made a sandwich and then erased the memory of the sandwich out of his brain. Yeah, it's a Jimmy John's nobody working at any one of these chains. A spy is to still work there. Like like, there's a deli where I grew up on Long Island. The egg sandwiches are off the charts. I'd allow a deli. All the food there was amazing. I have a buddy I went to high school that works there. Now his brother bought the deli. He works there, all right. This buddy of mine who works there is in his forties. Okay, I heard he works there. My First of all, I was more proud of him than if he were a goddamn doctor. This is the best deli on Long Island, man. This is the kind of deli. If you go in there and get your coffee four days in a row, on the fifth day, they're gonna look at you and go two sugars, uh little cream, right, chief. That's that's that's what the guy at Jimmy on he's probably watching something on his phone on YouTube. You come in, oh, and I gotta make him a sandwich. Then you come back by the way, did you go sick? Did you go six inch right out of the gate. No? I went with one of those little wheat jabs, the uh you know, the two slices of wheat, not that the leg long sub you know, like a loaf of bread. Now, see, I I go twelve inch when I go. Jimmy John's number one, number two. The prices are on the sign above you. Number three. You went with the wheat. As he's making the wheat, he's looking at you, going, oh, this guy is gonna be skipping back up here for another wheat sandwich in five minutes. It's it's not a deli. You think you're in Chicago. You think you're back home in Schaumberg where you're gonna go Tony. Are you kidding me? With that salami? Do the same thing. That's not America. That's what that's what Trump is trying to get back. Baby. Instead, you watched the debate last night. They want to give that guy, Jimmy Johns thirty in two weeks vacation. Oh, I was just so blown away that the guy didn't remember the sandwich. And then you know, he has to use the plastic gloves to make the sandwich, and then the girl wasn't up front, so he had to take the gloves off to use the register. And the look of anguish and sheer, disappointment and disgusting this guy's face was just like Wow, but he made an unbelievable sandwich. I couldn't believe a sandwich like that was coming out of such anger, because I believe if you're passionate and happy and you're making food, the food tastes better. There was so much anger in this sandwich, but it was so delicious. How However, I think I took on a lot of that anger by eating it. Yeah, well there's a lot going on. Man. You're a bit of a foodie, as you even say yourself. So for you to have Jimmy John's, maybe your body's just craving some like easy, you know, like just regular food you because you don't treat yourself to that, you know. Yeah, it was good, though, it was so damn good. Sometimes I like going on the road by myself because you know, and God bless Lina, she's trying to help me. You know, I'm stay in shape and not go off course. And I have a tendency once I get a Jimmy John and me I'll do another Jimmy John. I don't know when to stop. It's like a drug almost so. But sometimes when I go on the road, it's nice to just eat a Jimmy John in peace without getting looked at by your wife like you're like you're doing a line of coke. But dude, there's also this is that's the key to making these kind of fast food sort of sandwich shot up so burger shops. It's the key is you have to make the recipe to make the food so simple and yet still so delicious that even the most miserable person can slap it together and you'll bite into it and it will be fantastic. Yeah, no, no kidding. I could barely hear you. Did you move the phone away from your mouth? No, I'm here, man, you can't hear me. Can you hear me? Now? Yeah? Yeah, all right now it's and and just in Clo clo closing with that man. It's like when you said to that guy that sandwich was so good. I was literally getting goose bumps, because that's just such an old school move that we all grew up with. Like I was waiting for that guy to turn around and say to you, you like that one, the one I'm about to make you. Now, you gotta fill out a medical form because you might have a heart attack halfway through. That's how good it's gonna be. It's not. That's not America anymore. Yeah, it's not. And I guess I was delusional to think that this guy was actually gonna put a smile on his face because I really complimented on the way he made a sandwich. But yeah, so so that was that. I'm in I'm in Miami. Like I said, it's been it's been a hell of a week. Should It's been a hell of a two weeks that I've been. I mean, number one, I've been doing this Oddball comedy festival. And the reason I did this, and I think I told you this before, was to get in front of a different audience that probably wouldn't typically come see what I do because the headliners are this thing is Diseason Zari and Nami Schumer, and they tend to attract a different clientele than I. Younger crowd, maybe the millennials. So I figured, let me get in front of these people. Plus I wanted to do it because you know, I don't get a chance to tour with a lot of different comedians. I wanted to put myself out there, maybe make some new friends. Did I tell you the story right already? Well, I mean you told us all that, but it's good to reset it up again. And quite frankly, just aside from any of that, dude, uh right now, Amy Schumer is like Julia Roberts at the pretty woman who wouldn't want to, you know, do a comedy show with her? So you don't. I understand your reasons, man, but uh but as some Sebastian fans arrow as well, what's up? Tell me what happened? What's going on? Yeah? I mean there's you know, when I would would be announced, you would hear like some some cheers, But I mean the nothing nothing where like I had a section. Um And for those of you that hadn't been the odd ball, this is outside. It's amphitheaters, twenty people, so it's a it's a it's a big show and there's nine comedians on it. And I did the last run in California. We went to Chula Visto, which is done by San Diego, and then we went to Irvine, and then last night was Mountain View and Live Nation, who's promoting this um was using the private a jet. They were charting a private jet. And I gotta tell you, man, there's no way to go but private. And to do a show I felt. I felt like Sein felt to do a show last night in San Jose and take the jet down there and then get off, get into a shuttle. The shuttle takes you, police escort right into the thing, you do the show, police escort back, fly back, and you're in bed, your own bed at twelve thirty. I was spoiled. Spoiled. That's that's really something, man, Holy cow. And then then and then to turn around and get up this morning and get on Virgin America and sit in Tennessee in the face everyone. Oh, that's like, that's that's like Bradley Cooper in the movie Limitless. Like, guy, don't give me one pill unless you're ready to give you the whole goddamn bag. All right. I should have declined a damn private Jeff, because it's uh, you could, really, I could see where you could get really used to that. So anyway, it's it's it was great. It was a great experience for me. Um, you know, I hung out with some people that uh, you know, I typically never see t J. Miller, who's on that show Silicon Valley, really really nice guy Jeff Ross, who was really really great the whole trip, and Big Jay Okerson, who I've not really hung out with at all. Um, I was also on this tour, so it was fun. We had a great time. And it's like, you know what, it takes me so long to warm up to like a group of people. There's people, and I don't know, I think it happened pretty quickly with me and you on the Toronto tour. It's just like, yeah, maybe that was that one day when I first got there, I was a little like, all right, guy, let me, let me just go to bed, and I'm not gonna be drinking a night or anything. So maybe it took me twenty four hours, But I'm not this guided like inserts myself into a group real easy. It takes a good three or four days for me to start coming around. You know. Yeah, yeah, well I mean that's understood too, man And and these this especially what we do, it's so fleeting to I mean, you know, sometimes you work with someone for five intense days, you're traveling all the time, like you said, maybe even a private jet, and then you may not see them again for three years. Yeah. But you know, and I've also noticed this about myself that I don't really share a lot of opinions of how I feel. Uh, two people I just kind of met, and I've noticed I'm sorry, uh again, I tell these stories quite often, either to my my wife or my mother, my father, my sister, whoever it is close to me. So if this is redundant, please let me know. But we all know. I think we touched on this before. We all know in the entertainment business that it tends to lean towards You brought this up last year. Yeah, but they were talking about it last night on the plane. Somebody asked me, you know, if you had to vote, who would you vote for? And I basically told them, you know, I leaned towards the right. And although I don't really see you know, a guy, i'd have to say Trump really, although you know, whatever the media says about it, if he's an idiot or whatnot tends to be speaking with a lot of Americans feel and uh, I have to with him. And you would have saw. I mean it was almost like I was blackballed. Yeah, it looked at me like they looked at me like the sandwich guy looked at me. Were you guys already on the jet in the air? Thank god? Right, They'd be like, go back to the well. I thought they were gonna give me a parachute. If you're on the runway. They'd be like, take it back to the gate. Get him off, get him off. I was. I was getting gas the day, the day I was leaving to come to Miami to get on the boat, and I stopped to get gas right up on Main Street where I lived, and there was a pickup truck and whatever. It is, a nice pickup truck. It's like a red Knet thing. I bring it up. But anyway, he had a trump bumper stick and I was literally thinking, Wow, I haven't seen that yet. I haven't seen anyone actually go like, you know, put it on the back of the car. It's is this really happening? Is this really happening? I mean, do you know what You're always gonna be like for George Clooney to look at Trump and go, yes, Mr President, I want the funk. I wanted to throw up right now, that's what Coonty would be thinking. Oh god. But it got into a political discussion on the airplane, which I opted not to share any of my feelings and just kind of listened and nodded, and you know, no one never really came to me. Everybody was voicing their opinion. But I almost threw up based on some of the some of the stuff I was hearing. I was like, Wow, I no wonder we're at where we're at as a country if this is the thought process. Oh, I know right. They wanted to be Halloween every day, but for adults trick or treat, it's not gonna do. We give twenties. Everyone gives Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays. We're giving twenties out up to my door. Holy dude, the candidates. Did you see the Democratic thing yesterday? I mean I wish I did. I didn't. I was working so I didn't get to see it so it could fill me in what the hell happened. I just saw the photos and the lineup, and it's just like, come on, man. Really well, I mean, listen, we don't get too political on the show, but like Bernie Sanders, it's just like, guy, guy, I can't, I can't. I can't have you next to Potin having a cup of coffee. Man, dude, I know you don't like Hillary, but she's she's a bitch. Dude, she's a bitch and uh right, look, she wouldn't be my first choice, but like what a we got going on the options? I mean, listen, am I am I really gonna vote for Trump? Am I gonna do that? That's weird? That's crazy. By the way, is wife is like a model? What the fun? That's weird, you know. I mean she came and all more reason to vote for him. But they're like, oh, you get a model in the White House like I saw easily. A reporter goes you're not into women. I'd be like, I'm not the women's the last time you saw my wife? Lady? Oh so this is really you know, and I don't know man, so but um so um. Anyway, the private jet thing, let me ask you this, when you're on a private jet, when when you're on like when you're on this private jet for example, Okay, First of all, is Amy Schumer on this one with you? Who you on? Yes? Everybody is okay, everybody is on the shows on the jet. Now, if Amy Schumer wanted if she smoked cigarettes and she was a sick a right smoker, which I don't think she is. I didn't think she was when I knew her. But if she lit up a cigarette on this plane. I know. We had this conversation with Vince Vaughan. You were on a private jet with him. Do you think anyone would say anything to Amy? Like? No? Not? Like what about all the safety rules, Like what if when you go to take off, does someone say to you, guys, you have to put your seatbelt on? It is so relaxed on a private jet. Um. Put it this way. You know all these rules that they have, buckle up seatbacks, everything securely, fast and trade tables, all that ship don't eat that's out the window. On the private jet. You could literally be playing like a like like tag football in the middle of the island takeoff. I mean people are sitting down, but as soon as you kind of get past that like little hump, people are up there walking around. Wine is being served. There's no rules, there's no rules, and and and if Amy wants to light up or do whatever she wants to do what she didn't do any of it. But if you know A Zas and Amy, the reason we're on the jet that didn't do it. Now if I if I light up, they're gonna go, hey, hey, hey, yeah, you're one step away from Southwest. Yeah, alright, wow, that's a yeah, that's see. I always wondered about the safety rules when you're up there, but yeah, I don't know, dude, you're right around the bend. How did it go with the voiceover movie? By the way, Okay, so the voiceover stuff, I'm playing Johnny the Groundhog and the New nut Job too, starring Will Arnett and Katherine Heigel, Bobby morning Hands in it from s and now uh Jeff Dunham's and at Gabriel Glaciers. Okay, so I get there and this is a one of those things where you'll learn a little something. On the Pete and Sebastian show called Time at six o'clock, I show up at five forty three. I walk into the studio where they're doing this, and the audio guys there, He's like, hey, how's it going. Sebastian. I said, yah, that's the nature. And he's like, wow, you're you're early. I said, yeah, you know earlier. He goes, you been the only one that's been early this whole time that we've been doing the voice over work. And I go, yeah, I go, you know, why, why why wouldn't I I've always been the type of guy twenty fifteen minutes early to something like this, right once you come in the early, Yeah, yeah, especially first time, of course. Yeah. So I live my life. Punctuality is the prince of politeness. That's my motto. And I gotta tell you, you came early. And the director comes in, the writer and they're like, wow, you're early. The whole thing was nothing about what we're gonna be doing. They're stunned that I'm earning. And they're so happy about it because it keeps them on time. They might get out earlier. You know. It's just it sets a precedent and it sets it's a sense of professionalism in that and I gotta pat myself on the back here. It It literally made the experience an a plus experience because I walked in right away. I feel confident just because they're they're giving the praise that I'm early, so I go again, ship, this is gonna be a piece of cake. So we're sitting there with the director and the writer and they're like, listen, you know, just keep the energy up, and uh, you know, he goes, you know there's a part in the script and I go, yeah, no, I read it. And they're like, oh, okay, I think there was stune that I read the damn thing. I'm thinking read So what the fuck is coming in here that they didn't read it? Right? I mean, I do know I read it. I read it so well that there was a part in the script because they gave me the signs there's a part of the script and I go, wait a minute, this isn't This wasn't in the script. This was a rewrite, right. They're like, yeah, yeah, that's that's new. There was stunned that I picked out a new a nuance. So anyway, I get into this sound both before I go in, I tell them listen, this is my first time I've ever done anything like this. And I was debating on whether or not to even say that, but I was really confident to say that because you know, like sometimes you want to act like you've been there before, right, but this this sounds like you know what, guys, if you need anything from that I ain't doing. Please don't hesitate to tell me what you're looking for. I'm here to you know, I'm here to work. I'm here to get what you guys want. Yeah, well, you're definitely you're definitely saying You're definitely saying that. But as far as letting them know that is your first time doing it this and they going, yeah, I got you were here too, How was early? We know what your first time? Yeah, it's like I'm being redundant. So I get in there and you know, I do the first line, do the second line, the third of four. By the time in the fifth line I get a thing, They're like, uh, we can't believe this is your first time. You're really doing a great job. That's all I needed to hear, and I stepped it up a notch. I was so into this character. I was, you know, they they're like running, you know, like act like you're running, you're out of breath. I'm running in place, act like you're lifting something heavy. I'm getting down on my freaking hands in the almost like turn the Groundhog man, it was a blast. I was that was there for an hour and they're like, really great stuff. We're gonna have you come back in six months and we're gonna have you. You know, your voice is going to be coming out of the groundhog. We're gonna do some other things and right, oh god, I could do this all day long. Oh that's so cool, man. I mean, and you know, the way those things work from the documentaries I've seen is, uh, you know, they tend to have the illustrators do more of what they do based on what the actors say. So there's a good chance that they could like play your stuff and go do it. We're giving this groundhog way more lines than he originally had. Good good happen. I'm hoping they take some of what I look like and infuse that into the groundhog. Why not, right, I mean, I don't know. Have you seen a picture of what the groundhog looks like? Yeah, I've seen it. But I've also seen what they've done with the characters in the first one, and when Will are Net talks, he does have some nuances of Will are not in in the in the in the mouth, the way the eyes look. You know, there's some you can almost tell who it is through the animation. So I'm I'm hoping to god they throw some of my mannerisms in there. But I gotta tell you it was. It was fantastic. I had I had a great time. So that was that. Now the bigbie, the Monster, Comedians and cars. Yes, I get a call, Um, there's a car going to pick me up in my place and they're gonna take me to a house in Santa Monica because it's around the word. Jerry wants to take me for coffee. Plus my house is under construction, so they picked like a house of like a dummy house. So on the way there, I get a call from Jerry on the on the Phone's first time I wever talked to him on the phone. It just says, he's like, you know, just treat us like a talk show, you know, like a panel, you know, if you've got a bit you want to throw in. But you know it's really casual, not great. So I said, looking forward to this. He's like, yeah, it's gonna be great. It's gonna have fun. Okay. So I at the house, knock on the door, the door opens, it's uh, it's Seinfeld. Now I got it. It was almost like an out of body thing because I couldn't believe what I was actually doing. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe. Jerry Seinfeld is in front of me and we turned, we turned the bend, and he goes, what do you think of the car? The car is in nineteen sixty nine Camaro Z orange with a white racing stripe on the hood. And it's beautiful, I mean, just a beautiful piece of work. And uh as you like it? I like, I love, It's fantastic. We get into the car and for fifteen minutes, I I can't believe what I'm doing. I just can't believe it. It's like one of those things that come on. Man. I mean, I wasn't watching this guy since nineteen eighty three. I think it's the first time I saw him on a charity show. And I actually told him this and the in the interview that he did something about when you're taking a shower and somebody else's shower, that there's a piece of hair in the wall and you don't know how the hell it got there to climb up, and you know, it's the life of its Remember that oak and then and uh and he fast forward, you know, thirty some nine years later and you're in the front seat, uh, talking to this guy's it's it was crazy. Yeah, yeah, no, it's gotta be man. Yeah. So he's just like we're shooting a ship in the car, just small talking, um, and we pull up to a place it's called intelligence. Can I interrupt one of these hipster? Yeah? When when when he picks you up? Okay and you're at a dummy house? Um, First of all, some some just technical questions. Do are they doing? Like do they do hair and makeup on you? No? Okay, so you're there. And then do they say, I mean, is Jerry already at the house when you get there? And he says, all right, I'm gonna get in the car and I'm just gonna come around the bend. You ready? And then he just comes around the bend? Or are they like looking at you going, okay, Jerry ten minutes away, you get ready? Yeah? So basically what happens is I get to the house before Jerry gets to the house and getting miked up, and the cameras kind of get in place, and he pulls up and he calls me from outside He's like, you ready for get some coffee and I said yes and hang up and then the doorbell rings and he's there, so okay, so yeah you so. So even though you've hung out with Jerry one night at Gotham Comedy Club, and even though he calls you right before the show starts, the very first time you're seeing him to do comedians and cars, you're being filmed. Yeah, the cameras are all around this. So cool man, that's gotta be I mean, it's that's just so crazy. I would be the same way, just an out of body experience. Okay. So there you are, and then you get in the car. And when you first get in the cars is what do you think of the car? And you have a little small talk. All right, I guess I have no more questions with that, so continue. So the car is hooked up with like three GoPro cameras, so that you've got cameras all in the car too. Now I was stunned that there was so much going on around the car. There is a car in front of you with a camera filming you from that perspective. There's a camera car that comes on the side of you. That's filming from the side of you. There is a police officer on a motorcycle, kind of like escorting us through. There's so much going on around the car and the show. It doesn't look that way, but there's a lot happening around you. And you tend to forget that after a while. But in the beginning it's nuts. It's like, there's there's this ship happening here. Now. When we pull up to the coffee place and get out, I can't believe the amount of people that are part of this production. There's this, there's cameras, there's security, there's cops, there's this. Here's a big it's like a big wave of people walking down the sidewalk, and it's daunting. It's like you have to act like this is all kind of natural, but it's not. It's not. No, it's not you know. I mean there's literally a person there's there's a person three feet in front of you walking backwards with a chest camera. I mean, the things on a harness, you know. It's like, God, these thoughts and I'm like, what. So we go into this coffee joint Intelligencia and it's very popular. It's even when you even when you're walking into the coffee joint, all you like, do I hold the door for him? Does you hold it for me? Who goes in for you? Probably so self aware, it's probably annoying you. Yeah, it's it's one of those things where you're walking in with Jerry Seinfeld, so obviously people are gonna look up. So it's like, how do you even you know, like, how do you respond to this group of people coming into a coffee place with three cameras and Jerry Seinfeld? I mean, it's just crazy. So we're walking around and he's shopping, He's he's comfortable. Not to say that I'm not comfortable. I'm just trying to figure out. Like he goes up to the Dane issues and he's like, well, I look at the Dane like he acts like he's there with nobody else around them. I'm looking at myself and I'm like, am I in the camera's way? Listen? He's comfortable because if Jerry Seinfeld decided tomorrow to run for president, I'm not saying he'd win, but he'd affect the outcome. That's he demands a legend. What I'm interested in knowing as you're going into this Okay, I know, um, you know, maybe you have a story or two you want to tell, But is there a party wondering? Am I supposed to do what's natural? Because natural would be for me to tell him what he means to me and what he's meant to my comedy career. Or am I supposed to pretend like we're already buddies and I'm a part of some club and it's not a fucking big deal and I'm with him right now? Is all? It's all this going through your head? Well, you know what I going into this? I was It wasn't really pre planning any of the stuff that I wanted to say or mapping it out, because I didn't want it to sound like it was planned. I wanted it to be more of an organic interview. If it came up, it came up, and if it didn't, have done it. At this at this point in the in the interview, I was just acting as if we were two guys hanging out. It would be like me and you going out for a cup of coffee, goofing around, very lighthearted stuff that was not really anything that was you know, really being discussed that was heavy. It was just you know, I don't know if I could add that. Jerry and got a gluten problem, you know, so you know, stuff like that. Uh. And then we sat down. There are two seats there for us, so we commented about our environment, you know, he was commenting about the people at the coffee house. He kind of goofed around with the barista and we were just talking, just talking about comedy and uh, you know, specifics. I really can't get into a because I don't really remember, and be I don't want to ruin it for when when people see the show. But uh, it just you know, talked about process, talked about uh, you know, history, talked about I asked him a question, do you did you enjoy writing more for the sitcom or do you enjoy more writing more for stand up? Uh? And he, you know, just gave me some insight on how to write a sitcom and what to look for. And um, right right, well, let me let me ask you a couple of things though that are interesting. Um. Like, first of all, like when when Jerry and I'm just putting myself right now in this position. If I was sitting there with Jerry and he said something to me, I know I'd be so nervous that I'm half listening, Like, if you're telling me something that it's funny, afterwards I'm laughing. If he says it and it's funny, I'm gonna laugh because it's probably funny. But I'm not I'm not even really listening because I'm just so blown away. I'm sitting here with you, so so like, are you like with when he says certain things that you totally connected when you just dieing laughing or you're like you're laughing a little. And then on top of them, my other question is did you have a moment where you made him laugh? And when you did and you're like, oh, I just made him laugh or you just in the conversation. Two great questions. First question, Sometimes I would laugh, and you know, it's one of those laughs where I'm laughing and thinking at the same time, yes, yes, yeah, man, I mean you do. You're hanging out with a male version of Lucille fucking ball bro So. And then there was times where he was laughing and then I got like I was in my head a little bit and I was like, you ever you you ever listening to someone, but you're listening but you're not listening to what they're saying, you just know they're talking. And then he started to laugh or there's a point where I know I should have been laughing with him, and my brain had to catch up to what was actually going on because I floated away somewhere, and there's there's are those are times like that, and then there's times that I really made him laugh, which I was like, oh good. And you know, he has a tendency to I've noticed in the show kind of like overlaugh at the at the guests um, which is you know what what hosts typically do is you just make make the guests feel like they're at home. So but there's a couple of ones that I think I generally got them. Well, I'm sure there's a lot of times you got him. But Jerry also has a tendency which I think is a good trait of a comedian. He wants to laugh, man, he wants to have a good time. He wants to giggle. So like any kind of thing he's doing, whether it's stand up or an interview, he's he's never the guy's gonna You're never gonna get Seinfeld, go, how are you doing? Jerry's like not that good O. My wife and I just got a huge fight. He's never gonna do that. Yeah, yeah, he He does like to laugh, He does like to hang out with comedians, and even said it in the in the interview, saying that he kind of stumbled upon comedians and cars. It was not something that he was looking for, which is which was he did. He did say something which he really took the heart, especially in the business that we're in. He wasn't really looking to do anything. Uh, he was doing his stand up and this kind of fell into his lap and he goes, he made it. He made a reference to, uh, sometimes it's like a mouse in the house. It just appears, and that's what happened with this show. And he was relating that to my career, uh in regards to TV, and he goes, sometimes it just appears, and you know, you know, you could you could sit at home and go on what type of show am I gonna do? And what am I gonna do? Is it a reality show? Is that one of those lifestyle shows? Is it a sitcom? What is it? And sometimes you can't even plan it. It just kind of happens, like a mother a mouse in the house, and and all of a sudden, you just you catch the mouse. So you know, it gave me a little bit more of a perspective on how to look at the world of entertainment and comedy. Sometimes you could try and will this thing to happen, and sometimes it hits you kind of from the from the side. So we we had an espresso. Now I didn't tell him I had a coffee before I got there, but I had an espresso, which I typically don't have. It's like one of those things like I wear an espresso. I never have an espresso, but I just ordered it, and then after that I had a cappuccino. Now I'm wearing a like a sports coat and a T shirt underneath the sport coat. And in Los Angeles it's been unseasonably hot. It's been like degrees. If I could have done it over again, I would have probably wore just a T shirt. Yeah, I saw I saw the photo. I saw the photo, and you looked good. But it was a big photo from behind. You were in the sport jacket, and uh, can I just say, do we have um? Is the wardrobe guy involved in this the coach? Yeah, he styled it out. I didn't say that on the show, but he definitely came over and kind of put it all together. But I would have wore something a lot more cooler. Nothing. I mean, the jackets a cool jacket as far as like the fabric. Uh, and it's light, but I just kind of wanted to have a look rather than just like a like a T shirt. But I'm talking to him right and I'm a coffee espresso and cappuccino, and it's eleven o'clock and a a hotness comes over my entire body where my forehead visibly starts to sweat. I mean I could feel it, I know, and he's he's glanced at my forehead at least two or three times. I had to take the napkin and dad my head. And after I did that, I just said, I don't know what the hell's in the coffee, but I'm overheating. I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm sweating. He's like, no, I could see that. I could see that, and I'm thinking to myself, not only am I sweating, but then I'm tolf of that. I'm also worried now that, oh god, I'm the guy that looks like he's sweating that camera, so that adds a whole other level of heat. So I get a glass of water. I gotta cool down. Finally I cooled down. That that heat spelled lasted about fifteen minutes. I don't know what he's gonna do with that. In the cutting room, man, I thought that. I thought that was the end of me when I started sweating like a slob. Like a slob. Well, that's probably that's probably the best part, because that's just so you being you. You're like, listen, I don't know what's in that coffee. So we we have our We have the coffee. Then he that says to me, I got something kind of special plan for you. I said, okay, so we leave. Now we're walking down Abbot Kenny and he's like looking into like stores, like look at that table or look at that I have to interrupt that top into yeah, legend, maybe the biggest name in the history of comedy since since Carlin and prior. Not only do you want to show not only you doing all this, but he looks at you and says, I have something special for you. I mean, dude, are you beside your fucking self? You're like, what did he what did he bake me a cupcake? So cool? All right? So you're walking down the street. What's going on? So when somebody tells you they've got something special for you and you don't know what it is, and you're doing the show and you're walking down Abbot Kenny, everything that he's pointing out, I possibly think that this is what he's got planned. So we were looking at two bikes, like, he's like, look at these two cool bikes. Now in my head, I'm like, is this is what he's got planned special for me? That we're gonna hop on bikes? Because I wanted to rip the bikes apart, like I was gonna go bikes. It come out, damn, what is this? You know? And then he goes, oh, this is what I got. I didn't want to go. This is what I got planned, you know. Yeah, everything we see, everything we see. In my head, I'm thinking I gotta make it, regardless of how stupid it might be. This could be the special thing. I don't want to knock the special thing. So we go into this like habit dash eary place, which is you know, got leather jackets, men's hats, scarves, and we start to put on hats, and you know, I was telling him, you know, I don't really look good in my hat. I got too big of a head, and every hat I ever put on, I don't look right. So that's gonna be one of those things where we're kind of goofing around in the in the in the place, trying on hats. He tries on hats, I try on hats. We leave and we end up at this place and it's a restaurant. It's not open, but it's open for us. Right, what would you guys spend three days together? Yeah? I literally wanted to me to say, I got I gotta go. Jerry's in the other room calling me. We're going back. We're going out, all right? So so where are you after? I had place? Where are you a that I had places? That's the Italian restaurant. We walk in and we sit down and he goes, I thought, this is right up your alley. And they bring the menus and right away they bring out bread, olive, oil, vinegar, and olives, and he goes, I've never done this, but do you want you want wine? I go to want wine? Are you kidding me? He goes, I've never had wine? On the should before we're doing it now. So I ordered two glasses of wine and we have like an Italian meal, like not not a meal, but like a like a little like an appetized olives little bread. Was sipping on some Italian wine and it was fabulous. I mean, aside from the place not having air conditioning, which I was sweating. Again, basically I was sweating for four hours with this guy. Um, but to sit there and share a glass of wine and olives. He loves Italians, Jerry loves Italians, and he loves going to Italy, loves wine. So we sat there and shared a glass of wine, shot the ship in a little Italian restaurant in Venice, and then I got back in the car and he took me back to the house. And uh, and that was that. Wow man. And again I can't get into what we kind of spoke about, because you know, the show is going to come out in January, and I could talk more about it then, but I mean, I give you broad brushstrokes of kind of what happened. Now. You gave all, you gave all listeners plenty, dude. Wow. I mean, is there when you when you sat down at the Italian restaurant. All right, of course, this is so surreal. I'm still beyond this is crazy. Now we're all we were at Italian restaurant. Now he's having wine for the first time on his own show, Comedians and Cars, and we're having coffee and we're having wine. This is crazy. All that's exciting and unbelievable. But is there at least a little part of you after the espresso and the coffee and a cappuccino, you going, oh my god, are we going with a four course meal right now? Well? You know, I knew it was going to be. Not that I knew, but I I know he knows me, and I know he knows Missili, and I don't know if Missili was in his ear about kind of what I like. But Jerry had said, I take you for a man of taste, and uh, right there, I knew we were going to do something that was kind of revolving around food in my culture. Yeah, so uh But but spending four hours with this guy, it was about ten o'clock in the morning to two o'clock in the afternoon, and when he dropped me off and this is no secret because Fallon talked about it he gave me an envelope of cash. It's like a thank you for doing this, get out of here. Yeah, he gave he gave you an envelope. An envelope came out of nowhere. Yeah cash. Yeah. I felt like, oh, because we talked about Sinatra, we talked about tipping. Uh. Yeah, it was something. It was surreal. Wow, an envelope came out of nowhere. Wow, that's that's almost a flashback the last week's show. You almost want to look at him the way I looked at the lady at the tim Ontens and went, that's my move. That's what I would do. Man, Oh god, what I do that? So, yeah, it was fantastic. Now the story ain't done right now, now I could get into I could actually tell you what exactly happened within the next twenty four hours. I do odd Ball that night, and I'm talking to one of the comedians and he goes, I'm gonna go see Seinfeld tomorrow night. Now in my head, I'm like, I didn't even know Seinfeld was performing in Los Angeles, and I, oh, yeah, because they knew that I did comedians and cars. And then we started talking about Jerry and like, oh, yeah, We're gonna go see him tomorrow night at the Pentageous Theater. And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. So I'm like you performing. So I texted his assistant and I say, totally cool. If this can't happen, I'm not looking for free bees. I've been on the other end of this. I know how annoying it is. But do you think you could get four tickets to see Jerry and whatever? I think was Saturday at the early show. I'll pay whatever, but I want good seats because I was going out with my sister and her her husband, my brother in law and Lana and I and my sister is a Seinfeld fanatic. She watches the show every night before she goes to bed. So she goes, hold on standby, let me see what I could do. She comes through with the tickets. Pick them up at will call. They're under your name. This is for the next day. So in the morning she texts me, She's like, do you want to go back and see signfel I go My sister would die, and she goes, well, let's kill her. She gives me the information to go and see Signfelt backstage. Now we get there and it's always and of fun in my eyes when you get left tickets to see where the tickets are, so you know, we go in and he really can't sometimes tell where you're sitting based on the ticket, because who knows how they got the thing arranged? Third row, third row on the aisle, like you know, there's a scene that it's not in the middle, it's like on the aisle, which I love because I love to sit with you know, when nobody's sitting to the left of me. Tickets were phenomenal, and I'm taking the whole damn thing and I'm looking at how he's got the room lit, what's going on, what music's playing, how it's all kind of happening. I'm taking notes. This guy goes out there. First it was Larry Miller who opened up for him, and then Jerry comes out, looks fantastic, He's in a suit, looks very comfortable, and he does about an hour and twenty minutes, and it was like watching a master at work. I mean, tight, no no fat, jokes, moved, you know, transitionally fantastic, just animated to him. Mean, I was surprised how animated he was. So he does this show. My sister's dying laugh and I'm dying laughing. The thing's over. Now, we're gonna go see him backstage, and I text the guy who were supposed to text. He comes out it was his road manager. Lets us in. Now. As we're walking in, there's a group, an older group, about five or six people walking in as well, and they walk in the back of the dressing room and we are like kind of backstage area, literally back back in the back of the stage, and we're all talking kind of like in a circle, me and my sister, to my wife and my brother in law, and unbeknownst to us, Jerry comes kind of right up behind us, and uh, we didn't even see him. The guy's like good ladies and gentlemen. Jerry signed for him, and he's literally right there and we're like, what the hell. He goes, what do you did you like the show? Yeah, he goes, don't get the all here. I mean, this guy couldn't have been any more friendlier than than he was to my wanna, to my city. He was talking to us like we were the only ones he had to me so much so where so much so where I've been on that other at that end where you know, not not that I'm like always like all right, this is over, but you know, like I didn't want to take up a lot of his time. Yeah, so I did. I did want. I did want a photo. But you know, he's gold friend with us, you know, talking about the Mets. The Mets were playing and talking about the show, and my sister was like, that's such a big fan. And he was very he was very like gracious and humble and you know, just very very down to earth. And I said, could we get a photo? And we got the photo and it was like It's one of those things that I will remember for the rest of my life. It was. It was a crazy experience. Just the way he handled himself and the way he treated us was was like, uh, he probably had you know, in the back, he probably had Chris Rock waiting for you know, like I don't know. It was just unbelievable, unbelievable. Well, listen, let's all take a moment that that story, Now, that story was so entertaining, dude, so entertaining, and I literally sat back and enjoyed every second here and that The only thing next now is if Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt is telling you let's go look at the take together. I think we really nailed it. Okay, then you can say, oh my god, I was having enough. It's officially, Luke. Can we get a drum roll? Here we go, SABANSHAMI scath. You're officially on that level now that continue telling me stories. They're highly entertaining. But let's stop being blown away, okay, because that that's that's the world you're in now. Is no you up until now? It is great? Okay, Yeah, this this was one of those things. Was an out of body of course, the thirty six hours that I did with him in the car and then him you know, going to see him perform. It was it was one of those nights, you know. And after that we went out to this place, one of our favorite restaurants in Los Angeles called Moza, to have a bottle of wine and pasta and like just sit there and talk about the picture. The picture couldn't have come out any better. It's like one of those things that you get one shot, you get one photo right, and a lot of times it's like look at the lights and the back is washing. The photo matched the night. It was perfect. Everything was great, and uh yeah it was Yeah, I get it. You know that your career takes you certain places, and you know, as you grow as a comedian, you start to encounter these things that they blow you away because they're very new and exciting. I mean, the first time you headlined, or the first time you did anything in this business. It's one of those things like WHOA, I performed in front of a sold out crowd. Isn't that great? It's and then you do it again and it's like, Okay, yeah it's sold out, and you know it doesn't have that same newness or luster. But I gotta tell you, man, I don't think this is gonna be the last time I'm blown away, because it's every experience is new and exciting, and if if you stop making it new and exciting, it's not fun. Man, now being blown away? Listen, this is this is a pannicle here, this is a panicle. All these things moving forward can blow you away. But I'm just saying, as a co host of the Pete and Sebastian Show, I'm not probably I'm gonna be into them all big time, but I'm not gonna go wow. Because you're rock and roll, baby, You're rocking and roll and I appreciate that, and that was that was my Johnny Carson moment. It was like being called over to the couch and you know what's even crazy? And now, dude is like, you know all those tiny little nuances of like you know, all these cameras on you and you know they're on you. That's You're never gonna feel that way again. So now the next time you get you do any of it, next time you do anything with jerre Are, You're literally gonna walk in and go, Jerry, what are we doing? Bah? Bah bah? Is the one that at that it's gonna be like Don Rickles, Man, It's just it's just so it's really cool, dude, really happy for you. It was thanks it was special. It was a special day. Um. But now is what do I send as a thank you? What? What? What do you send? Oh man as a thank you? Um? Uh, I don't know. I don't I don't think. I don't think you send a thank you? Man? I mean he come on, man, yeah, you were on the show. You did a show for for for just a evil. You know. It's funny though, I have to bring up when you were out to dinner with your wife and your sister and your brother in law after having met Jerry, and you know how much he means to your sister. And I mean my sister would be the same way. It would just be so amazing. And then we'd be out to dinner and and we'll be we'll be looking at the photograph and we'll be talking about it. But the thing is, you have to have one of those kind of moments where you like, like when you do a special or something. I've had that, and it's it's just all about what you just did, and we're all so exciting and the and the minute one person at the dinner table turns it to something else where they go like, you know, uh, Kathy gotta be on her spelling be test the other day. Yeah, at that moment you had like, oh, we're all of me now, you almost want to go not this whole this whole night's me, This whole night is me. All right, it never goes back to your daughter, all right, I know, it's like one of those things. You're right, It's like if it's about that person that night, it's up to the person it's about to change the conversation to something else. You just can't come out of left field and go and you want to see a picture and I don't want to see a picture of not but me and sign. Yeah. So the whole night, man, that's the whole night. I mean, I remember Jackie. Jackie asked me if I wanted a forty birthday party, But I just did a special right around the same time, and everyone I know came out to the Comedy Central special and blah blah blah. So this would have been like two weeks later, and I was like, I don't want to have a party. It's it was already all about me, you know, so because because with family, with family, it's like you look at it's just like you just got the chat with Jerry Seinfeld. Why am I hearing anything else about family stuff other than that it's so cool, dude, Oh god, So yeah, man, it's uh, it was great. It's great stuff. And I'm looking forward to what he's gonna do with the edit and uh, how it's gonna look and all that stuff. But yeah, it's he's a work he's a workaholic and when it comes to comedy and stand up and and he had said even on the show, you know you hear these people that talk about these comedians like, oh, I only work an hour and night, and he's like, you don't work an hour and night. You're working constantly to go up for that hour or night. So it was inspiring. Man, it was inspiring to sit and watch another comedian for an hour, which I haven't done god knows how long, and to see it as an audience member in a theater like that for three thousand people. Um, it was great. It was great. It was almost like a little classroom for me to to not only enjoy the stand up but just enjoy kind of like half of your brains laughing, the other half is gone, Oh yeah, really see how he wove that in, you know. So it was good. I highly recommended to go see him if you have a chance. Yeah, and listen, I mean I watched I'm telling you for the last time. Well, I mean I watched a lot of ones, but Seinfeldt special I'm telling you for the last time is just it's flawless, man. I mean, there is no fat it's set up jokes, it's just it's really something. Yeah, it's always dude, I'm even inspired now just listening to the whole story. Man from a comedic standpoint. Man, it's uh comics, you know, It's just yeah, it's like hanging out with Michael Jordan if you're a basketball player and seeing him how he works, and then you want to go play basketball. I mean I couldn't wait to get on stage after seeing him, just because I wanted to be that much better. So um yeah, that uh that was it. Man. It's uh. I'm in Miami and I'm doing a corporate gig for Applebee's. Oh hey, you know, just interject last week because I have this is Applebee's and I'll be at the Dallas Improv this weekend. But you're gonna bring a date to see Pete Coo. Really stand up, enjoy the show, but don't get caught making out, as PiZZ says in this clip, but you can't hear it. It's not an angel Bert Hooper dank show man. Then I have I don't really, I just I don't think I should make out. It's like it's pa all right, that's like the end of I just probably I'll talk to guys brother check it out that my song isn't sane. A couple of more things I want to wrap up before we do the show and I still got the time, but a number one A little recap from last week? Did you have you gotten a phone call from Heights Wine? By the way, no, what have you heard? You? You got to hear the commercial from what you said last this week. If you're looking for wine, you're looking for Heights. You gotta hear what DJ Lou did with that, dude. It's it's literally fucking great call from art. Yeah, you gotta hear it, dude. It was unbelievable. I mean he puts some Spanish like a little guitar picking over. It was fantastic. Um, let me ask you a question, are you getting enough? I bet you love more? Right? Well? Uh, Adam and Eve dot com wants to give you more with ten free gifts. First, you'll get a sexy surprise for her, second, a specially selected toy for him, and third a little something we know you'll both enjoy. Plus, you'll get six full length adult movies on DVD and number ten free shipping on your entire order. So what do you have to do to get ten free gifts? It's not hard. Just go to Adam and Eve dot com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous, new toy, sexy, piece of lingerie, or anything you desire. Just enter offer code p A S at checkout and you'll get all ten free gifts. Go check out Adam and Eve dot com today, Select one item and get ten free gifts, including free shipping when you enter offer code p A S. That's p A S at Adam and Eve dot com. This is DJ Lou Still Sexy. Friday, November, Folks, eleven pm. Showtime, my one hour special premier, so please tune in, man, please, and the other big big news. And this is the biggest news. I have to just say. Tonight, as we speak, today is my fifteen wedding anniversary, and I just want to say I'm the luckiest man alive. Baby. Happy birthday, jeah, I mean, happy birthday. Holy shoot, I'm gonna on this boat too long. Happy anniversary, jack I can't wait till you get on this goddamn boat. So that's that, dude, great show, dude, I yeard, Yeah, yeah, Happy anniversary to both Pete and Jackie. Fifteen years. It's a testament to how how much you love these two are. I mean, as you've been listening to the show over the last two and a half years. It's basically we've been not only something that you could be entertained over, but it's also a manual on how to do a relationship. And Pete and Jackie have it now. Thanks man. I I got a card when I unpacked on the boat. There was a card from her and it said don't open until her anniversary. And he opened up this morning and read it. There was a little picture in there too, and I cried. I cried, and then I called it today and I go, oh, nice, I go, I read you card. I go, I read your card, and I go. Made me cried, And she goes, you only cry because you're on the fucking boat. The show has ended. We finally got to work. And just for your daughter, you know, And I, oh, you know what. I'm like, thanks so much for my head. I'm like, you damn right, guy, I'll sink this fucking boat.

The Pete and Sebastian Show

Two A-list comedians, Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco, get together once a week to create a t 
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