You're listening to the Pete and Sebastian Show on the riot Cast Network riot cast dot com. This is the Pete and Sebastian Show with Pete Coraeli and Sebastian Menascalco Petty Bascuit. It's Jimmy from Boston. So get biscuit size nine. Pretty. You're bench pressing thirty pounds as your workout. Why are you going to the gym wasting your time only to throw thirty pounds on a weight bench. You might as well stay home and lift your fucking ain't and board up and down. Goddamn lu gets more of a work on lifted. Marlboro reds back and forth to his lips. Get your ship together? Will you loiter? Pete and Sebastian show back. It's been a week right and change. We're both home. I think we're in all both in a home turf. I'm in my studio, you and yours in my studio. There's been a little issue here at my headphones, rubbing on a zipper. I'm taking my jacket off so I don't have any technical difficulties. Last time we spoke, you are a man on the cusp. I'm shooting your first ever Showtime special, and let's hop right into it. Give us the give us the play by play. We talked earlier in the week and you started getting into some funny stuff. I didn't want you to tell me over the phone because it was going to ruin the the experience for me now, but you had mentioned that a lot of podcasts show people came out to support your your special, and out of a floss for the loyal listeners coming out to Chicago to the VIC Theater paying their ten bucks and getting a sixty dollars a ticket show, come on. That's that is exactly where I wanted to start, man. I wanted to thank Holy sh it, man, all listeners are just unbelievable, every single listener of this show that came out. I from the bottom of my heart. Man, I was probably never so moved in my entire life. And a couple of moments in that show when I know it was you guys specifically, I mean, bro, there was so many they all came out. I got to say hi to all of them out front, and you know, I planned on giving them all individual thank you is via Facebook, but it was just you know, some people even email and stuff like, oh, thanks for saying hi and being nice out front after the show. And I know that's a hassle. Listen, man, that's not a hassle. Well, me and Sebastian joke about stuff, we joke about when you when you when you don't know how to take a photo, which we all do. Uh, that's not a hassle either. That's just let's move it along. But there's nothing that's a hassle about having you guys tell us that you enjoyed the show and then your fans of the cast. So thank you man, fucking a from the bottom of my heart. And the show was great, dude, it was just you know, I mean, from a professional standpoint, it was probably the greatest night of my life. I mean, I really loved my First Hours special, but this one. The first one was a boy, this one was a man. But the people that filmed it were amazing, the director was amazing, that theater was great, and crowd was awesome, and it was just now, Bro, I was trying to tell you, um when we started talking the other day, so right before I go on, right, you know, you know how it is, man, It's just so much going on, so much going on from your outfit to you going over a set list too. You know, I don't know, man, did you have anyone backstage before you went on I Feel last special? Yeah? My in laws, my father, my mother, my sister was there, my wife, everybody? Now do you let them all backstage before the show? Yeah? And I will never what was there? I see? Now that's I mean, I'd be flattered, but I'd also be like, oh man, this is too much. Yeah. I will never do that again. I'm not ever have the people in the back, uh before I go on. It's just too much. And um, like I said, when I did the Fallon thing, I had a big party in the back and never again. I gotta I gotta collect myself. It's too much to you know, make sure everybody's happy. And then you've got people in the dressing room. I gotta clear the room. Yeah you were there, was still the room? Is about you having a posse? No? But I hear you, because like again, man, even even before my my last special, right, Tommy, this guy Tommy is a big fan of the show of the cast and tweets all the time. He's like, what is it a little loyal podcast? Listen, I have to do to get up in front. So you know, we had already gotten tickets. So I text Rachel email the girl, Rachel, the woman who works with Judy, was amazing as well, what can we do for Tommy? And She's like, no problem. But it was like it was like three or four back and fourth and the last one was like the day of and uh, it was no big deal. I was. I wanted Tommy in the front, right, but that's that's just me and Tommy trying to square seats. If I had the best player in the NFL back stage, oh my, they'd be announced in my name. I'm like, you need coffee j J. So yeah, I didn't and my parents. I didn't let anyone backstage except of course Jackie, who was like a freaking manager. I mean, and that's my biggest thank you dude. She I've been with her so long, from the photo shoot to the set, the actual love the stage setting and stuff. I mean, she is right up there talking to Judy and talking to uh, you know, the photograph the photographer guy, telling them what kind of shots we want and what kind of look we're looking for, and it's so oh, it's just a weight off of my shoulders because it's like somebody who gets me more than anybody's speaking on my behalf and those this ship. You know, that's that's one of the things that I forgot to mention to you, um a few shows ago, and you put it so well when you called Jackie an asset. Absolutely, what a great way to describe not only your best friend and wife, but someone who's got your best interest and is literally I mean, this stuff doesn't happen as you well know, just on your own. Uh, your wife has a lot to do with your success and and and hats off to all the wives there that that that really take care of their guys, because without them, we don't we don't, we don't move. Yeah, and you know, while we're on it, man, along with what Sebastian saying here, if you're in a position where you're doing business with a man and that man or let's say somebody do business when you're at a party or maybe you're at the meeting with him. But if his wife is there and you know they've been together for a long time, do not blow her off, man, because they will walk out and she will shut your business down. It's the biggest insult a woman who's with a man, uh and around his job for over twenty years. It fucking knows that job. Man, did you have somebody blow off your wife? No? No, no, no, they were all fantastic. And I want to take a moment to say, Judy Marmel, I will never have another manager as long as I live. That woman is the greatest manager in the world. And she fought so freaking she fought and and pushed that freaking special through man. And you know, I mean it came down to me and show time and then coming to see me in l A and prove it. But you know, if it wasn't for her, you know, setting it up, it wouldn't have happened to you. That she's she's unbelievable. Man. She's gonna write a book someday. Dude. Well there you have. It's Thursday, May fourteen, two thousand and fifteen. Pete kry Ellie has just stated on the Pete and Sebastian Show that he will never ever have another manager again other than you, Marmou And that's that's that's big, that's big. We got another thirty years with her. Well, I mean, if we're gonna cement this. Let me just google, will make sure Burnie Bernie Bilstein ain't working anymore? Oh dead? Oh yeah, yeah, okay, I stand by it, dude. Um, I was gonna ship. I just wanted to say, oh with Judy. And she comes in the green room, you know, and how big is client we all know is uh Jeff don him Uh yeah, and my parents uh know that, you know, and they're talking to her and my mother goes says something like, now you work with the puppeteer, Jeff and Judy, and Judy is so cool about it, and I go sorry, and Judy's like no, no no, no, And then like like three or four more times my father calls him the puppeteer and I'm like that it's a ventuiloquist, you know, and and you know the thing that's so funny. And I turned to Judy and say, Judy, you gotta understand the irony of this is any high length of my career. My father is only once sent me a clip of another comedian and it was Jeff done him doing shut up, I kill you. And the email was is It's not the funniest fucking thing you've ever seen. So this is not disrespectful. It's just, you know, that's what they think. They call it Judy, she couldn't care less, still living in Vaudeville. And then on on on top of that, and I'm setting this up for the next show. Right after my father says that, he turns around to me, he goes, and you, you gotta tell Sebastian that your little cousin Alex does a fallless Sebastian. So apparently my nephew, I mean, my my little cousin, my nephew Alex is doing you. And I'm gonna get it on recording. Oh yeah, I get that on recording. Um see, they watched you a special dude with the whole family. That's what you aspired to, and that's what you you have there. Man. You know, kids and fans and adults all sitting together. They haven't done that since Happy Days. That makes me feel good that the whole family gets around, maybe gets popcorn. They sat down and they watched it. Nobody nobody cringes because it's just it's family fun. Man. I'm telling you, we're talking about stuff that I told you this yesterday on the phone. We're talking about stuff that it's relatable and people gravitate towards it, and uh, it makes me feel good that there's people out there to enjoy it as a family. Yeah, it totally man um, you know. And I dropped a couple of bombs, but the same thing, like I had one day. Don't worry about no, no, no no. I I planned on it, and I knew where I was dropping him. I was just a fraget, a little hopped up sometimes and when I'll drop them all night long. But dude, I was trying to tell you, fucking this is so at the beginning of the show, everything all right, I'm down. I got it all lined up, ready to go, and uh so the ladies like, do you want to task? She goes to the woman in the backstage. He's like, you want a towel and I go, you know, for sweating, and I go, what to my George Wallace, I don't need a towel please, I'm like, I'm fine, right, So she and then we get to talking about how most people use the towel, and then the directors there and he actually got it directed yours and he goes, Sebastian used the towel, and I go Sebastian walks five and a half miles back and forth when he does an our, Okay, I barely move. We're not gonna need it towel, everybody tone it down. So I go up. I'm about ten minutes and I'm sweating. I start sweating like fucking crazy, right, and it's coming. It's dripping down my nose and it's dripping, and I'm like getting ready to do a set up and I kind of like brush my nose and I get settled in and then I do that joke and it does well and gets a nice laugh. But now there's more sweat, so I start to wipe that and then I'm like, this is fucking ridiculous. Man. I'm like, I can't. I can't do a second half of the show like this. This is like so finally, I just kind of I just stopped in the middle of everything and I just go, I need a fucking towel. This is ridiculous. So and I go, okay, I get a towel. So a woman, the woman comes out with the towel and as she pats it, gives it to me. I riff of Patrick ewing joke about him sweating you know, and it's like, I know, like I've comics dow it. This is like Mike Tyson. I'm sweating like Mike Tyson and a spelling beat, you know, and stuff. So I know I'm not saying anything brilliant, but it was something about Jesus Christ and sweating like Patrick ewing, and I go. You ever see him before the game even starts, the people the other teams looking at him like, what did you jog here? I'm sorry, that was funny to hear, so everybody laughs. I'm patting myself and then a dude in the balcony, a fan of the show. As I'm patting myself, I do the ewing thing. He's up in the balcony. He yells out, we love you p Day, and I yell out, I love you that and the fucking place starts going crazy and I'm like I needed that. I needed that, And then man, we just boom the last forty minutes. Well, I mean the first ten were fucking nice and solid, but the last forty we just boom off and gone to the races. Uh, you know, and are you sweating because like nervous sweat, we're here? No, no, bro, I flew to Birut Lebanon with weed and I didn't break a sweat. The kid don't sweat when he's nervous. So that's that man. Uh. And everyone was great. So I do my outfit all black, Hugo boss, digging it, dig in the outfit. I saw the stage John a text, Uh, photo of your setup looks great? Man. Yeah, they did an amazing job with that set. It really looked great. And the outfit being all black and Hugo Boss. I said to Jackie, if nothing else would you maybe ray Leoto will see it and just be like he's gonna be in my next movie. Is part of a mob gang, A funny guy. You know, two or three lines will be in like two or three scenes. But I just I look like I should be sitting a cappuccino in Jersey, Bro, I'm telling you. And then on top of it all, my best buddy Larry came with his wife Tracy from New York. They flew out. I get up to my room, bro, bottle of champagne with good luck from my buddy. Then the next night, after the show, we hang out all night. He picks up the tab for everybody hanging it was just that's nice. What a nice guy. Yeah, pain in the room. And then is he's making some bread? This guy? Yeah, man, he does very well. He works for a travel channel, man, big travel. Yeah, a big fan of you too. Man, loved your show and listens to the Cats religiously. Yeah. So it was just fucking great having him out there too. Man. Just everyone was awesome about it. Nice. What's up on your end? Dude? Oh, what's up on my end? Um? So let me give you the rest of the Watts stay over absolutely, man, um, I gotta tell you all in all, it was really nice being around a guy who's so damn focused and positive because I come from a a group of friends back home that are extremely negative. I don't know if you've had this in your life where some of the people are just like they like, we constantly make fun of each other, to the point where I don't even want to tell my friends what's going on with my life because they make fun of it. You know. Yeah, like, uh, if I were to call him and go stay at j J? What oh j J Watt your new friend? Now? You know? That's what I get from the guy's back came so some sometimes you don't even want to bring it up. Do you do you have any issues with that? Yeah, I mean it's I don't know, man, it's it's just a Yeah, you just kind of your friends for years, because your friends for years, but sometimes with certain guys you just don't have the same things in common anymore, so you don't even bother to a certain things up. Yeah, it was just like anyway, but but to be around that guy asked what it got By the end of the end of the week, I wanted to I wanted to try out for the NFL. I was like missing like a team atmosphere, and you know, you played in basketball. Wasn't it fun to go to practice in the games and I kind of goof around with the guys. Yeah, the camaraderie oferie. Don't you miss any of that? I mean, would be in a comedian, you go to the club and you're in the in the in the uh you know it's by yourself. Yeah, no, absolutely, I mean even being in a band, you know that'd be great. Yeah. So he did his own thing. He's got so much going on LINEA and I did our own thing, went shopping. Uh. When I went to meet her friends for dinner, and then Watt came to the show on Friday with a couple of his friends, and then uh, what was it? Saturday? He went to the uh some prize fight and then Saturday night, me and him and Lana just hung out late night at his house, go from around just having fun talking for about two hours. And uh, it was great, man, it was a great, great weekend. He was the ultimate host and uh, you know, I just felt felt at home. Well, I got some questions. First of all, you have to do a sleeping with Sebastian from about Watt's place. Even though you're gonna bring up things you've already brought up on the last show, you need to sum it all up and do one. Because he specifically wanted one man he asked for him. That'd be a nice favor we'll get. We'll give him a sleeping with Sebastian. And now can I ask about the home? I mean we allowed to ask, like, is there an exercise room? And now is he Ah, we just take it to a gym every time he works out. There is a room in the house where he has some weights set up, and uh, I don't know how much is much he uses it? But there is a room in the house where there's some weights and matt. Um, there's a massage table. Um. So yeah, there there is there is that available. Also has a nice pool table, and he's got that hockey game. Remember that hockey game when we were growing up. It almost like it was like a foosball table had a big glass dome on it. Yeah. Man, yes, I used to love playing that game. And I'm sorry him and I didn't get a chance to actually go head to head with that because I'm like, oh man, I haven't played this in years. It used to be fantastic. On on the left wing. That guy had a longer stick. He used to sweep it in the net. Oh that's right, that's right, I remember that. So what is that is it? Is there a game rule? Just that's kind of hanging out Like it's like almost like a loft area where he's got where he's got like kind of like a hang room where you could play pool, you could do that. He's got some some paraphernalia out there, uh like you know, just stuff from you know, football or whatever he's got up there, and then uh, beautiful yards, got a hammock, great pool area. Jaccuzzy little uh bar area outside uh just nice, just a really well kept home. It's so funny. Man, the guy's got a ridiculous set up to party like crazy, but meanwhile he's got like what maybe like a three day window where he drinks a few beers and then it's back to training for the next season. Yeah. Now, this guy ain't having a party until he retires from the league. By the way, bro I had a vision man, as all Koreas grow being Italian with like Sinatra and Dean without the singing, And I'm thinking, what after he retake his public office, we gotta push for him. Oh yeah, do you know what that's it? I didn't even think of that, But the way this guy handles himselves and it was used, I'd get behind that campaign. Can you see him flying over to Pakistan to talk this ship out shit? I mean, the man when he leaves video messages, I I kind of like, sit up straight and ship I feel I almost feel like I'm talking to a fire chief. He's got. He carries himself with this experience. I'm telling you, I don't see what doing a play by play, I don't think. I just see him more public office. Man, I really see him going that route congressman, maybe to start actually sena A bam, you're very well might be right in that. Although I think he's got a career in comedy. Yeah, I know he does. I know he does. But you know it's like a buddy flick. But that's a waste, that's a waste. We're a guy. I mean, yeah, he's funny, but that's one of his many talents. He's a leader, man, and he's an example. He needs to run for public office. I tell you, he is so mature. I felt I felt like I was the younger guy and I and I'm what fifteen years older than him? Yeah, you carry yourself like you're sixty ship. Oh god, then I had I had something happen to me Saturday night at the show. The manager at the Houston Improv comes in and he goes, um, I don't even know if I could say this over to gust here. Oh, come on, we can edit it out if you decide to. All right, guy comes in, he goes, h, I don't even know if I could say the name man, it's a mobster. Do you think I could say the name? Well, I mean, there's only a handful of mobsters. We know you can say the name, never mentioned no names, never mentioned names like that in this joint. That's a bad thing to do. Well, he's a mobster, but he's in the witness Protection program. Well then maybe I don't know if you could say the name. I don't know either, But I mean, the hell's he doing coming to your comedy show? I don't know if if I mean not that you know it wouldn't enjoy it, obviously, but the fact that he's supposed to be hide. It's supposed to be hide and apparently is in the witness Protection program. But my fear if I give away the guy's name is people go and take care of him, and then word gets out to how they know he was in here? Oh we heard it on the Beeton Sebastian show, and they come for us to mobing coming to Fretonia. That much I know. Besides, dude, if they do come here, I just seated my lawn all day with my father in law. I put up the stakes and the orange ta. I swear to god, somebody steps on that seed, they're fucking dead. So if the mob do come here, anybody used the sidewalk no, but listen, if you said the name, would me and most of all listeners, no, no, of the man. No, I don't believe so unless you really follow. So it's not like Sammy the Bull or Henry Hill. I think Henry Hill is dead. It's not Sammy Bull. And it's not like well, John Gotti's son is not in the witness protection. I don't even know anyone else in witness protection. Whitey Bulges. Is he dead? No, they just arrested him and he's in the prison. Oh damn. All right, so just tell us about the story. We're not gonna even say the guy. Okay. So it comes and he goes, so and so Sarah, I go who And then he's got like a couple of aliases and he was saying the name like I was supposed to know who the guy was. And are you dealing with f by the way at the at the club? No, no, no, okay, I don't know who this guy is. He goes and then he tells me kind of who he is, and then I go, okay, I I don't know him, but I know there's it's just so hard to tell the story. Maybe we know you know of the crime. I know of a few things that his life story was based on. Okay, that's cool. That's not saying too much. So anyway, there's there's a there's a TV shows his life story was based on. Oh, like, no one asked you to say that. I said, sew're okay with where he went. But it sounds like, hey, look, buddy in the issue're gonna get us his phone. He's just keep a little fucking managed and he lives at six to nine. Uh So, anyway, he comes to the show and he got tickets through a third party, and uh he's there with a woman and another guy, and he's kind of i'd say seventies seven years old maybe, and uh, I said, okay, cool. Ten minutes later, he goes, he has now moved to the front of the stage, front and center. He told me he can hear from where he's at, so he needs to go up and sit in the front row. I go, did you give him the seat? He goes, yeah, that those people that have the front row are not here yet, so I gotta find another seat for them, because I ain't telling this guy he can't sit in the front row. Yeah, and besides, once the show starts, whatever, if you had to see you're not there. It's for anybody. Yeah. So he points him out and he's like sitting in the front row. He goes, so just you know, don't don't kind of pick on him or don't you know he you the manage your thoughts. I thought there was something going to happen the way this guy was acting. This is great. I mean, what was it one month ago? Was Dick Van Dike's in the dressing room? And now and now we made it three sixty. J J. Watt was there tonight before Now I got a reputed mob boss sit in front Suner so cool man, so cool. So I get up on stage and coming off that table is like a kind of a strange energy. Even if I didn't know who it was, I would have still felt like a weirdness. I don't know, if you ever performing and you kind of feel little weird, like something's weird about the person. You look down and something something's going on here, you can just feel it. You could feel the energy. Yeah, I felt like like there was like a smell of murder coming off the table. Now the woman's dying laughing, whoever the woman this she's dying laughing at what I'm talking about right off the bat, and I looked down at him kind of like, just real quick, I do a glance, and he's looking up at me like he's trying to figure out what hole he's gonna bury me in in the desert. Really well, I mean, you know, those guys, they they don't laugh even when they like it. You know, they didn't laugh at Frankie and Dingy when they were cracking their jokes. They loved it, but they don't laugh at They're just two tough, tough guys don't laugh. Yeah, well unless they're hanging with each other, then they all giggle it up and cackle. Well, he ain't giving me nothing right off the bat, but he's liking and I'm sure I don't know what he's doing. So as soon as I start getting into my Italian stuff, then he starts. Then I start seeing him laugh. He's laughing, he's laughing. Then about a half hour in I go into his body. I I do a book. I do a bit of about reading, how guys don't read. And I turned to the guy, I go, when's the last book you read? And the guy froze, and the guy that the mob guys started laughing because I was making front of his friend. Yea, it was among the Italians. It was real greaseball shit. They seem to enjoy the show. Um, after the end of the show, I didn't do a meet and great, I wasn't feeling that well and I didn't want to come across the mob guy. Now have you ever can I had a running Not No, not at that level. I mean I've I've dined with mob guys once where it was just so fun. But um, which one are you leaning more towards you weren't feeling well or the fact that you didn't want to run into the mob Joey Donuts? I think I'm running in to the Joey Donuts. That's where my head was. That that's what you gotta love and respect about the mob. There were people that probably came a long way to see you a show, and the mob denied them to meet you. Maybe maybe, man, I don't know, I don't know. I read up on the guy before I went up on stage, and uh, you know, I just I want to eliminate any of those like those meetings where and I don't know if this even still happens, But I got it in my head where you know there's still possibility a guy come in the dressing and going like what you did? You know? Thanks, well, I'm gonna start tech. Why you think that still exists that? First of all, that never existed. Second of all, what do you but what are you talking? That's not how it works. And first of all, you should have went out. I mean you should have even met the guy. You know, he did what he did and now he's out, and and you know, if you weren't feeling well, I understand. But the mob, if you don't take the favor that they offer you, then they got nothing. Man. They I mean, you don't own a store. They're not just gonna come in and say, you know, give us some money for protection. And they're not gonna ask you for twenty Man, he may say, hey, you got management, you're interested manage? Just say no. I appreciate him not. But the minute you let him make one call for you to get Harvey Weinstein interested in something, he's got you. Yeah, I can't believe you wouldn't have been like I would have. I would have been excited to like meet him, and God, imagine want to come in the back and have a drink murderer. Hey, not that night. What I mean, not that night. It wasn't gonna kill anyone on Saturday night. What do you that guy's killed people and you want to beat the gay, Well, yeah, he's Look, they only kill bad people, man, they kill each other. That I don't know. Why does the mob get a pass and why is there this love affair with the mob when they're doing things that are awful. Is it just because they wear great suits? Oh that's so cool. No, seriously though, I mean seriously, it's I think the biggest reason is because the they only everyone seems to think that they kind of only kill and hurt each other. I mean, yeah, they go to your local grocery store, make you give two hundred bucks a month, but yeah, you do get the protection. You get the protection. I mean, it's like paying attacks. But for the most part, they don't. They don't mess with us, you know, they mess with each other, except that one time that one neighbor accidentally, Oh yeah, got he's gonna boy, mean, you imagine the luck that guy And those of you that don't know what story Pete's referring to. Back in the eighties, said John Gotti at a kid, his son riding a bicycle in the neighborhood, and the neighbor backed out and hit the son and killed him, right. Yeah, And that guy has disappeared. Yeah, I think. I think he hit him on Monday and he was gone by Wednesday evening. Well, I think the guy was actually trying to leave the country or the state before he got killed and they killed him. And yeah, yeah, so I mean, but I was a tragedy. But for the most part, the mob tends to only mess with each other, you know, So I thought it was been kind of cool. That's bes dude. It's so cool hearing these stories about the people bopping in. Now, man, people are popping in. I'm I'm I'm. I got new fans in the mop, drinks around the house. There you go, man. And that was it. You didn't hear from like the manager of the club. No, no, I don't know. Maybe he disappeared. No no, no, no, you insulted him a little bit. You've got a little lot of audience. So that was my that was my time in Houston. Um, we're back here in Los Angeles. I went to American Idol last night. I got tickets through Um, a girl I used to work with at the Four Seasons Hotel is married to the guy Simon Fuller who um started the program, and my mother in law was a big fan. So we went and I gotta tell you, I've been to American Idol. This is like my fifth or sixth time. Piss poor man, Piss poor really. Yeah, the production value was terrible and what they did was so they prerecorded the performances and um, we're basically watching TV at the Dolby Theater. That's basically what it was. It was. It was no good. I gotta tell you. And I'm a big Michael Jackson fan, as you well know. But the Jackson the Jackson five started off the show, but it was really the Jackson three. There's only three brothers and I'm sorry, the Jackson five three whatever, it is, the Jackson five without Michael Jackson. It's like gluten free bread Man. It's awful. Yeah, yeah, ship, I think it. Chicago is having this big festival coming up with The Grateful Dead is going to do their last tour and they're playing in Chicago and someone's like, are you coming for that? And I'm like, the guys dead, right, Yeah, the Jerey Garcia is dead. What are we doing? Yeah, but some of the other ones are still playing. That's what I'm saying. Like, if there's a band that has a singer or a front man who's kind of like the guy and he goes, is it the band anymore? No? I mean you cut the head off the snake. The snake is dead, all right, except for Van hallen Man. But even then, I'm sorry. I only recognized David Lee roll Off. I really do well. They didn't really fall apart after he left. They had some good songs like yeah, but they became much more of of a like, you know, pop rock. You know, they used to be like, you know, fucking nitty gritty hard rock. Man, I'm half a teacher, and then they became you know, you know right now, come on, much more pop rock. Yeah? Yeah yeah. Speaking of the arts, broke big news, Luke. Can I get a drum roll? Yeah? Yeah, alright, big daddy, He has got some news. My friend works at my high school and he just texted me, I'll send it to you. I'm in the visual arts hole fame of my high school. Yeah yeah, man, there's like four of us. Wait a minute, literally is that like a wall or something. Yeah, they got a wall of fame. My buddy works there, and he texted, he goes check it out. Man, they got a wall of fame, a visual arts wall of fame at the high school. And you're in it, and it's a it's a yeah, it's do we know who else is on the wall with you? We do, Bro, I'm not even the number one. What. Yeah, there's a magician who's like behind me coming. It was not not not He started, give me the name given the name of one of the people, and I want to see if they even belong up there. Well, this is the one who's above me. Man, she's trumping me. Google this name Moira, Kelly, Moira. I don't even spell it m O I r A Kelly. You would have known how to spell. In the nineties, Bro, she was a star of some major flicks and then she played Dorothy Day and Entertaining Angel Old story to Day story, Cutting Edge, Single Mother. Do you remember the movie Cutting Edge, the ice skating movie. No, with the guy who was a pro hockey player and he couldn't play hockey anymore? Nobody knows this. Listen, what about the one called with Honors with Joe Pesci and Brendan Gleeson. Remember that one? What do you mean? No? What are you too busy selling cable dishes at the mall? One with Honors? Yeah? Yeah yeah? And Lion King West Wing. She was in West Wing. She played she played um Robert Downey Jr's wife in Chaplain. Oh okay, yeah man, yeah, so she's above me. It's annoying. She graduated a couple of years ahead of me. All right, who else we got? I don't know the other names, and it's a huge drop off. It's me and then a magician and then some guy who like writes some nonsense. Yeah, do it. It's on. It's on. It's on pink construction paper, and it's someone wrote it in magic MARKA with each letter is a different color, like V is purple, the eye is yellow. You know. It's his Visual Arts Hall of Fame st staple. It's not even the plaque. No, no plaque, no glass frame. It's a photo copy photo of my c D cover. I did two hour specials on TV. They got the CD cover. I know, I know. I think you gotta go back and donate a plaque. I'm not giving them They called me once about doing a fundraiser and I said I was interested, and then the lady said, yeah, we'll think about doing in the gym, and then I just never called it back and fucking Jim take it to a club. So my local lady, I'm not playing the gymp ship. Bring my sneak? Is do? I don't know my my heist go nothing? Man? Where'd you go? What was the call? Cannot quiet high School? I liked it. I had a great time, man. But I'm just saying so so, dude, you ever seen this t J Miller around or just that one time when you were on the red carpet, just that one time. Why what we got a little legitive man, the guy you know how I do my eelye right for the Golden Trailer Awards. Yeah. By the way, next year, bro, uh if if your sister has to get nominated, because if she can get nominated, I think I can get you the gig hosting the Golden Trailers. Yeah. Man, I almost got it for someone this year. But next year, if so she's got to get in again, that would be so great, dude, even if she doesn't win this year. So t J. Miller was doing it this year, right, and um uh, I recommended Colin Quinn because I thought he'd be perfect. And they have me write the jokes even before I know who's hosting it, and then like usually like a week out, they then tell me who's hosting it, and I kind of make them a little more towards that guy. So, you know, but I was doing my special. I don't get paid much for that thing. So every and so I send in a bunch of jokes and then there's a new guy doing it and he writes back, UM, okay, we'll take a look at these people, will let you know what we need next. And you ever read an email and then you fucking say something out loud about that email as if the guy's right there. You ever do that move like he's like, well, let you know we need next, And I'm like, yeah, I'll let you know what I need next. Guy, fucking done with you? What do you think I'm writing a novel? And every time I and then he sends me more and I would send him a little more, and every time I'm like, yeah, I got that special comment up, got that special, So you know, I get to get the message. So uh, and then when I heard this t J guy got it. I don't really know him, but and from all I understand, he's a funny cat. If I don't really know you, though, I'm not really into writing the jokes for you. Like last year I did it for Jay Moore, which is great, and before that Rob Schneida. So, um, I guess this new guy. You know, he was like head guys, writing and writing and you know, taking notes and this and that. And then like two days before I'm getting ready to film the special, I guess the g t A s aired. I didn't even know what it was. And he sends me an email going, um, great job, Pete. You really had some great jokes that hit. But mostly t J just wrote all of his own monologue jokes and rewrote all the presenting jokes that he presented and did it just his way. Um. It was good, um, and you know everyone was happy in the end, and that's all that mat But I got the whole vibe from his email that this guy was so furious that he put all that effort in. And the t J mailer probably came in with three index cards and went, I got this. Don't even sweat it, you know. So so you got snubbed on the on the thing. Who me, they're not using any of your stuff? Oh, they used some of mine. But I didn't care either way. I I really don't care. I mean, I send you to jokes and that's it. And especially because I had my showtime special. So and I don't know t J Millers, so I didn't ask for his email to to try and you know, hey, do you like this one and do any of that? Man? So, And I'm just saying, in retrospect, I'm kind of glad I didn't because I guess he came in and did it all anyway, with probably his own guys. Wow. Like, if you were doing Saturday Night Live tomorrow they asked you to host, and they said you can bring in, uh, let's say like three writers of your own. Right, I would imagine you'd bring in that one guy that you wrote the pilot with, right, I don't know, am I doing jokes like stand up or we're doing sketches? Yeah, you're writing sketches, man, like, you know, bring him in, maybe bringing a couple of guys he used to bounce stuff off of out in l A. I mean, I don't even know if I know. I guess I'd bring in three comics. Yeah, i'd I'd bring you uh, Austin Earle, Do you got anybody I go with three comics? Man? Absolutely? I I don't have any writer. Writers. Gotta have something to tell you. Please, man, please, I'm talking a lot I do I do have and I'm just throwing it out there. We don't have to do it today, but we can if we want. I promise the listeners i'd be more involved once the special was over. And one of the first things I did was once the special ended is I wrote another Manarios. I got Manarios. You want to go right into it. You don't want to remember what you was trying to say. It will come to me, all right, Luke give us the music for Manarios. We've only done this once before on the Pete and Sebastian Show and it was a huge hit. Verry takes time to come up with these, a boy, they have fun to do. This is where I give Sebastian a situation, a rare situation, a scenario that a man may find himself in, and as a man in, these men areos, how would you handle yourself? Alright, Sebastian, are you ready. Let's get right into it, man, let's get right into it. Uh, we'll do a sweatback story. You're at a roadside truck stop, your car broke down. Low story show you and Lana are being chased by bad men and your only option is to run into this semi that is idoling, not even idoling. The keys are sitting in it, but it's not started up. Can you, as a man, jump into a semi tractor trailer, start that motherfucker up and take her on down the highway. I've never never did that. I've never drove a large truck like that. But if my life was in danger, you damn well, no, I'm gonna get in that truck and try. I'm not how those trucks operate. Have you ever sat inside of a semi? Uh? Yes, when I did the uh the Montreal Festival tour the Roadies, I just sat in the truck once and he showed me the back cab with the bed. Man. Those things are decked out. They got a little bed back there, but shift. Yeah. I can't even drive his stick, but it's it seems to beat the giant stick coming out of the ground. I don't know, man, These things in modern I don't know. All I know is if I something's going on outside, if I ran in and turned on and the key was in the admission, I would have to say I probably wouldn't know how to get that fucking puppy on the road. I mean, how hard could it be? Well, you can drive a stick? I can't I know, I said you you can't know. Oh you can't drive his No, that dude, neither one of us. I mean we just locked at door. Wasn't call nine one one? Is? It isn't stick shift part of being a man. It is man, it really is. And you know now, I guess this really just comes down to it could have been a dots and with a stick, and we wouldn't be able to do all. Right, Next Manario, Next Manario, And don't worry, he's going all over the place. But I'm putting you in another perilous situation. You and Lana rented jeep and you go for a long drive. Then you hike somewhere in MAUI isolated miles from everyone else. You're swimming in this crystal clear lake built among the rocks where you can see to the bottom. You having a wonderful time. Now it's dusk, you're getting ready to go back to the jeep. It's not quite dark yet, and you go, holy shit. You realize the key to the jeep fell off and is in the bottom of the lagoon. The lagoon is crystal clear water. It's twenty five ft deep. You have no cell service, No one knows where you two are. It it's cold there at night. Can you free dive twenty five ft down and get your keys off the rock surface? I think I could do it? Ft bro, google the ship. I need to know what the longest free dive of all time was. Oh god, it's gotta be on free diving. I just saw something on sixty minutes free diving. Uh, twenty five ft is no joke, man, it's not that bad. God, I wish we had a pool. I mean, I've got I go down twelve feet off a high dive and when I get down twelve I'm like, wow, man, this is this is deep. I'm only I'm not even halfway. Yeah yeah, well yeah, you know what. You make a good point, but you don't smoke. You don't smoke. You're in good shape and you know you're gonna die. If you don't get those keys. I think I could do it. I think I could do it. I mean ten feet in a pool, So you gotta think that's just double that. That That ain't that? When do you start like losing? Like uh, you're hearing you hear? How these people that do these dives? Oh here, here's the longest is seven hundred and two ft world record. Oh you could do, no problem, seven hundred ft. Holy shit. They take you down on a rope. Thought, I think, oh yeah, right right right, Well they don't pull you down, but the rope is next to you. I think there's something somewhere. You're on a rope and they you just I don't know how it works. You they slide down the rope and then they have to come up. I don't know, but twenty five ft. If my life is in danger, I'm doing it, all right, I think you can. Here we go, Manario. You find yourself working at a little hotel only holds about ten twelve people, twelve rooms, right you working? This is out somewhere out east on Long Island. In the parking lot of the hotel is a big mound of dirt with a flagpole, all wood chips around. It's nice, but it's summertime, middle of the day. Nothing's going on. All of a sudden, my god, there's a terrorist attack in America. Just total chaos. The world has turned upside down again. The GM tries to get everyone calm, turns to you and says, for start, his son, get out there and put up that American flag to the top of that pole, just to let everybody know that this is America. Can you even take a flag and go outside and run it up a flagpole? Do you think you know how to do that? Funny you say that, I used to be in charge of the flag at John J. Elementary School. You when you were a student. Yeah, you were an ulti boy and the flag the flag, what the funk? I didn't even know it was a flag guy. You didn't have the flag guy at your school. Mede another another guy went out there every morning and we put the flag up, make sure it didn't touch the ground, put the put the hooks through the whole thing, right up the poll. Brokay many, Oh my god, that see. See that's something a man should know how to do. I I would probably be back in five minutes later, saying to the GM. I don't know how to get the string thing to like I see the clip up there, but I don't know how to get it to come down. Oh yeah, all right, my jobs for like for a couple of months, Manario. Every man should know how to take a flag, hook it up and run it up that pole. Man, that's something, dude. God damn you were trained as I mean freaking going to alt doing the masses, doing the funerals because they paid, right, I mean, you probably had days. Well, you're running up a flag and as you're running the flag up, you're going I got the funeral later. It's like I was. I was working full time and going to school. You're out a four oh one k before you were in fifth grade. Alright, Manario, Manario, you find yourself because of all line of business. One thing leads to another, and you're in a movie with Sean Penn, who fought for you and wanted you. It's the first day of filming. You just filmed the first scene. It came out fantastic. You guys are gonna shoot another scene in the same location. Penn wants to talk to you off to the side, just to discuss how things are going for you folks out there. It could be as simple as you find yourself in a bar and one thing leads to another. On your chatting with Sean Penn about your favorite baseball team, and he asks you to step outside. Either way, you're outside with Sean Penn, he hands you a Mallborow red as he puts one in his own lips. Can you and would you? I'd say you should? But if you do choose to smoke that Marlboro Red with Sean Penn as a man, can you smoke one Marlborough Red without coughing and acting like you never smoked a cigarette before. Oh, that's embarrassing. That's that embarrassing. Every man should be able to smoke a cigarette. Just smoke a cigarette and not cough like a child. Right. I'm not saying you should be a smoker. I'm not saying you should have a smoke. But if you find yourself in a situation where you're gonna have a cigarette, it don't cough. Be a man, smoke that red like a man. It's not like a choice that I'm gonna cough. It's just a inability to smoke a cigarette smooth. I think I smoked Maybe what five cigarettes tried to maybe not even five in my entire life. Off you, you can't just take the lightest, lightest drag and just kind of let it come out your nose just as a testa. I'd throw up all over my shoes. So you're just not going to smoke a cigarette with showan Penn. Let me tell you a story, man. I did the Comics Come Home, this big thing in Boston for Dennis Leary. I did it twice. He had me do a couple of corporate gigs in between. I mean, I don't know. I was getting Christmas cards pretty soon. Then I go to do the second Comics Come Home with him, and I quit smoking cigarettes. And at one point we're all on the back and Leary looks over at me as he grabs his Marlboro one hundreds out of his pocket, and he's like, p D go for a smoke, And I go, I quit, and he goes, I go, I don't smoke anymore. He goes a quitter. I haven't talked to the guys since I'm not kidding. I am not kidding. You haven't nothing. He sent me a thank you calling for the show and quoted one of my jokes and said him and his buddy laughed about it in the locker room. But other than that, nope, not a whiff of anything in three years, two years. You you you gotta smoke to get work. Listen, man, as a man, I don't even think it was about work or anything else. It's just like Dennis Leary's like, you know what kind of man wouldn't smoke a butt with me when I asked him to smoke a butt? Alright, alright, hey, listen, you know what, there's young kids out there and they're learning from you. They're not learning from me. You shouldn't succumb to peer pressure. That's what I say. All Right, there you go, So don't smoke with Sean Penn and then you can go back to school and run the flag up the pole. That's at it, all right, bro, here we go, Manario, Manario, you got a friend, a good friend, a male friend. He does something special for you. You go out of your way to get him a real special gift. To make it not awkward, will just say me. Let's say you got me a real expensive, cool gift, maybe a bicycle or something, because I did something for you. And the reason I said don't want to make it walk with for anyone else? Is here's the Manario, Before you get the gift to me, I die? What do you do with the gift? So I bought you a bike? You pass away? Any good friends buys a special gift for a friend, that friend passes away, what do you do with the gift? They passed away before you even told him you got to for them, before that you knew or any of that? Do you do you literally return? Yeah? Oh? What a what a return? What? What are you gonna do with it? Oh? Is there anything wrong with it? Imagine that the county. No, the guy was gonna give it to die. I don't know what you do with it, That's what I'm saying. Dia, Dia, give it to the wife and or is that just gonna with it? Is it just gonna upset her? More? Like Jack? You listen, you know I wanted to I wanted to get Pete this, but you know, I thought I'd give it to you and I take a showIn out of my car. I don't know, man, alright, alright, I guess I mean do you do you maybe keep it in your garage as a reminder of the French show. No Jesus, al right, you get the money back? Do you mail the money to the wife that my guy? Come on, man, this is it's over. Alright, alright, ship, that's it. You gotta get for someone and they die before you can give it to him. Just return the folks, return it, okay, all right, you and Lana home, the evening is over. Okay, And again, folks, he's a manarios for men, and any man out there can find himself in the same sort of manario. I just use my partner in crime here as an example. Now, you had your household redone. I know you're gonna have that lovely balcony that kind of looks down on the on the foyer area. Okay, it's late at night, even line are upstairs and you say to Lana, did you close the door? And all of a sudden you hear a man's voice go, I did I did? I? Did you go to the balcony? You look down. There's a man standing in front of you the door. The door is closed. He's soaking wet, he's crying. He's got a knife in his hand. Is blood on the knife, and he's just saying over and Oliver I got it, I closed it, and then he's just crying. He's not coming for you, he's not even looking at you. He's just standing there crying with a bloody knife. You're going downstairs to do something. What are you doing? What's the move? What's the move? You're on the balcony looking down. Line is up there with you? What are you doing? God? My setups are fucking amazing. I need a cigarette. First thing I do, I said, Lina, call, and then I grab a bat and I go downstairs. You got a bat? A bit? No? But I want to get one now after the Do you have a weapon in the room? I got a bat under the bed, Yes, I do. Okay, so yeah, I I where do you go back in the room and lock yourself in the room? I definitely would have in the lat of coal nine one one, but I would probably just stay on the balcony and keep an eye on him as long as he don't move. You know, I won't move. Yeah, but what if he's got a gun? You don't know what? You know? You're you're writing now? He doesn't because I write these staring at him. It's just to have me come on. He's soaking wet. He's got a bloody knife in his hand. I mean, and he's crying, and he's just crying. Okay, Well I start putting the two and two together. I figure, he just killed someone and he fell into the pool and now he's at my house. I don't know what happened, but that ain't good. Would there be a little part of you going is it raining out there? Be fantastic? We got a drought. So if he starts running up the stairs, what do you do with the knife he starts coming up the stairs? Now, honestly, I probably do this side cackle female. No, no, stay down there, stay down there, stay down there. That's probably what I do. And then and then you're probably I don't know you is he waving? If he's waving? Ith god, there's a man running up the stairs, what a knife and he's wet? You don't run away from that? Well, I mean this is if you're gonna make a move while he's coming up, would be the time. But I'd probably locked myself in the door, right come on without any weapon? Yeah, and you know, come on, man, if Lana already made the call, I mean they should be this soon, especially because you know of the neighborhood and all seven to ten minutes on average takes a police officer to arrive at your house. What are they on? Vespus? What the fuck? Seven to ten minutes? It's it's ridiculous. God damn, that's ridiculous time. All right, man, Well, then you better get that bat. Well. Has there been any discussion with you and Jackie about possibly getting the firearm in the house? Uh? Yeah, I mean actually I did a bit about that on the special. But we have an alarm that a friend of us put in, and we haven't even been using that because a couple of times that like, the thing fell off and it went off, and it scares Jackie so much that she doesn't even want to use it. But we're gonna start getting back into the alarm. Other than that. Now, I just got a bat. No gun, bro, no gun gun there. You have it hard enough to keep Sadie away from my vapor sig let, let alone if I had a goddamn gun in the house. Speaking of Sadie, you didn't take her to Chicago, right, No, So what did you do in the city. I sent you for pizza and you said you liked it was good yeah, Lou mal nodis excellent, excellent choice. Bro. We wanted to get some classic Chicago deep dish and that was it, man. Yeah, um, yeah we did. We stayed an extra day in Chicago. Um, I don't want to stay real quick too for some of you folks that came real far to to come see me. I mean, Seattle, Pennsylvania. God bless man. I can't thank you guys enough. Now I stayed that extra day in Chicago. We're gonna have some fun. It was Mother's Day and Jackie was looking forward to just, you know, having a day h without Sadie. Ironically it's Mother's Day. But Bro, the weather in that town is just it's worse than Buffalo. Man, it was like forty degrees. It's terrible. It's so bad. And where's you out? It does? I don't know how people. It literally takes seven to eight years off your life if you stayed there for a lifetime. Really, I mean, come on, that ain't even any better, man. Yeah, it's through. It's true. It's true. I guess that we kind of have similar weather. It's just whears you out when it's spring. And I mean and the first day we got there, was eighty. It was beautiful, but I still had to do the special and stuff. So then that one day we're ready to hang, it was freezing. So we walked around for a while. Um and then you know, not much. I'm into my game. I got two more to go. Okay, a little back to the manarial music. See the stuff we learned Sebastian and flu flags. All right, here we go, Here we go. I got two more, kind of like verse one, we're gonna go with. You're in a bank depositing a check. It's a quiet afternoon. There's only you, a couple of other people, and then the people working behind the counter on the robbery. Everybody get to the floor, Things go south. Cops get there. I guess it took longer than seven minutes to rub the bank. And uh, you all get put together in room. All right, now here's the manario. Bad guys come in, say they're going to release one prison there as a sign of goodwill to the cops. They point to you. They decide to to be you. Okay. As you as that you get ready to leave, it becomes you become aware, or maybe they make it aware to you or something. There's a woman there, she's pregnant, you're letting it go, or you're going you don't know what, you don't know any of those people you were picked. But you can turn around, say the bad guy take her, she's pregnant, or I know you're going. And these guys off that they meted out, they're sweating. This does not look like it's gonna end, good man. Yeah this is. I mean, if you stay behind, you're not sure you're gonna live. Let's make it that clear. It's not like, oh I can wait a half hour. Take Peggy now she's doing any day. It's like life with death. You can plead the fifth bro. I don't want to put you on the spot. No I'm out. I'm out, but I will turn to the pregnant lady and lift the word. Sorry. I know, I know her kid was going to amount to anything anyway, Right, I still got a lot on Paul chapters. Oh god, oh god, though, what if she did get out. Imagine she gets out in five minutes later, she's like, where's the fucking Italian guy? Oh god, oh god, get me out of here. Get me. If Jackie was a lot of damn, they're like, why is she so mad. I'll be like, I'll tell you in the car. I'll tell you in the car. All right, last one you are you uh, run out of gas. Ironically enough, you had a rental car that the meda thing was broken and it said you had gas, and you didn't have gas, and you ran out. And you were on a back road in North Carolina with Lana. You're about thirty miles from your really nice in that you're staying in. But right now you pulled up at a farm. It's basically where you ran out of gas. Okay, now, it's about nine o'clock at night. As an old time who owns the farm, and this is what he says to you. Listen, I gotta spare cabin, not even part of his home. You can sleep in there overnight and then tomorrow morning I can take you the forty miles and to you know, to where your people are, and you get your gas and all that, or it's up to you. Uh, here's a tube. I got a tractor not too far from your cars. You can push your car over to the tractor. The bottom line, you can take this tube and siphon three gallons out of my tractor into a gas can. And into your car and be on your way. Now, when you siphon gas, you gotta suck until that gas goes in your mouth, bro, and then you spit it out. You realize that, No, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, So you're gonna suck gas until it hits your lips and then spit it out and then put it in the car and split, or just sleep the night a cabin. I think the night in the cabin. Oh my god, what am I fucking dealing with a little gas on the lips and you're napping with some psych. My luck that sucked the hose. The gas comes flying out of the holes. I'm drinking gas and I'm dead well, I mean, ship wouldn't gotta be reminded it's not orangina. As soon as it hits your lips, you spitt so as it hits my lips, it could be anything. Something could happen where I opened up my mouth. I don't think it's coming out. Boom, it comes out, and I'm doused with gas. I don't take a snap. You don't even notice. Guys backwards, North Carolina, haven't you ever seen it in the movies where they sucked the gas and then as soon as it hits their lips, they spit it out and they put their thumb over the tube and then they put the tube into whatever they want to fill up. I don't know, I don't know what's easy. I know, I don't know anybody that's ever done this before. I haven't. Yeah, my uncle is a real hippies older now is my parents age. He owned the plumbing, I mean, you know, unclogged toilets. That's when I worked for him for four summers in a row, and he used to tell me these great stories. Used to be a hippie and he had an old jeep and him and his friend drove all around the country for two years just partying, and they would siphon gas. That's how they traveled everywhere because back then cars back then no tanks had locks on the on the tank, so they would just put the tube in, suck it and when the gas came out and hit their lips, you spit it out and then you put it in your tank. And he's like, you know, sometimes you get a full tank. Man, if you got the right car. Ain't doing that? I that it seems terrible. What if Lana leaned over and said I'll do it because I'm not sleeping here. Are you gonna let her do it? Or then would you say, all right, I'll do it if Lanna listen. Huh No, I thought Lana did. Put your pajamas on. We're gonna take a we're gonna take a map. Well you go, folks. Uh he ran the flag up the poll. I thought that was something. I think I'd leave the pregnant woman behind as well, but I would taste the gas. Manarios, I love it, I love it. You have it, Manarios. What a blast from the past is right? Uh? That was fun, always always fun playing Manarios. Um, I gotta tell you, I don't know if you're a big this is This is going back to uh Texas and Houston. J J took us out to a place called Killings Barbecue in in Houston. Yeah. It's the best barbecue I've ever had. Are you a barbecue guy? Yeah? But you know, if barbecue is really good, I'm not like a connoisseur. I can't tell you one is Like if I was at a barbecue festival, I wouldn't be able to pick a winner. Oh this is well, this is by far the best barbecue I've ever had. It's out in Parallel Texas. And Uh, Ronnie who really treated us well out there. I gotta give it up to him. I gotta tell you this, it pays to be a NFL football player. We went in, No Bill, No Bill? Wow? Man? Now what what like? Was you and Watt and Lana world together? Now? Did did they take a photo of him or anything? No? Not that he comes in there a lot. Uh. You know, he's a big fan of what they do. They're a big fan of him. It's a mutual respect. And and the guy on the way over, I go, JJ, what do you don't really get he goes. To be honest with you, I've never ordered anything. They always just bring off the food. They just bring out a sampler platter, risk it, the the ribs, the cream corn. We had the best carrot cake I've ever had in my life. Unbelievable. Now, if they're not like now, is he sitting in the general area where people can see him? Well, this is another back or incident. Pulled up in the back of the joint, walked through the kitchen and then sat like at a seat like right off the kitchen area. People knew he was there. Somebody came up and asked for a photograph, and this is what we were talking about. You know, remember we had this discussion on the show maybe a few weeks back about people that asked for photos. The guy came up wanted a photo. J J simply turned on him and said, not during meals. What do you think of that? I think we're looking at the fifty seventh president the United States. That's what I say. I come out with you, not during meals, during meals. I love it, man, Oh, I think I think I want to use that just for just I want to say that in some capacity. It just sounded like there was so much going on at the table that he just couldn't take the fun not thiring meals and the food did even come out yet. I think it's so cool that restaurants do that. That that people do that, you know, like if they're a fan and they give you, you know, it's just an appreciation. Hey man, every Sunday I get to watch you for free. Is the least I could do, is you know, have a rib on me? Yeah? And you know what kind of annoyed me the other day, man, I was in an airport and it was a cop in front of me and he got a cup of coffee and he's pulling out his wallet. What the how does a cop not get a free cup of coffee in an airport. I'm like I almost said something. I'm like what I feel like a cop shouldn't have to pull out his wallet when he's working, right, Well, it was a had uh cop clothes on. Yeah, he was working. He was getting a cup of coffee at work. I was like, I almost gave him mine. The cops should go into any deli anywhere and get and get you know, a sandwich man on the arm. Man, it should always be on the arm. Yeah, so the cop gets free food no matter where he goes when he's working. When he's working age of course, if I was a cop and I was off on Sunday, I put on my blues just to go get Chinese food. Yeah, man, well listen, because I'm wondering about what, like, you know, other than like what does the restaurant get out of it if they can't even see the what's eating there? If no one knows he's there? And I'm like going to myself, Oh you know, it's just a thank you man, thank you for the entertainment. Well, listen, I'm sure I'm sure people know he was there. He frequents the place. Uh, you know, his buddies come in there, his football buddies come in there. So you know, once you start finding out the Houston Texans are eating at a particular restaurant, that's that's advertising dollars right there. Yeah, you're right sides. You're bringing it up right now, man, Yeah, I bring it up right now. Anybody who's in in Parland in Houston, Texas not only has to go to Killian's Barbecue, but go to their steakhouse as well. And also they got a hamburger joint opening up down the street from the barbecue place in an old gas station. So if you're ever at three six one three East Broadway Street in Parland, Texas, go and get yourself the best barbecue I've ever had in life. And and also Lana called at the best barbecue. And she's from Memphis. Now, if somebody does go there, wow, that's huge. She's coming from Memphis saying that if somebody goes there, and why is there and he is eating, The question we all have is when he is done, and he's clearly patting his mouth with his napkin. Is it photo time or is it when he leaves the table? I don't know. If he gets up, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know the rule on that. Does he have to be out of the restaurant out of the restaurant in order to get a photo. I would have to suggest, as soon as you step outside your free game, you can't claim. You can't claim not not during meals unless you're walking out with a power ball and you got a loophole going right there. I guess, man, Yeah, that's a good rule. Though I have another I have a parenting question. Yeah, how do you guys play it with Sadie and toys? Is there an abundance of toys in the house that are readily available for her to play with? How does this work? No, Jackie's got it down, man. We she Sadie doesn't have a lot of toys. I mean, she's got a basket. She's got a lot of toys in a little basket. But we limit the amount of toys she has because it just becomes over and it defeats the whole purpose. And we got so we got a lot of toys that we're given to us that we haven't even opened yet. And then once in a while, you know, we get rid of the old toys and we replace it with a new toy. But she never has a lot of toys at once, just just a handful, and she loves them, you know, she gets used to him and loves them. And um, and we don't get any plastic shit. I was trying to get some stuff outside. It's all this plastic shit. Man, I can't take it. I don't want that ship on my lawn. What do you want this stuff to be made out of? Oh? Like the swing set, which is all done and gorgeous, it's all wood. Um. I wanted to get her a little basketball hoop. All they have is these goddamn plastic things, right, And I finally I was in Chicago the day after the special and I found it in the store, a beautiful fiber glass backboard with an iron metal breakaway rim that I'm gonna hang on the fence like. But it's a mini one. That kind of stuff, authentic, well built ship, not plastic crap. Man. All right, you're not a plastic guy. And and too many toys is a bad thing. I mean, my daughter has got this little monkey that she does everything with. Man, a couple of toys at once, you give them too many, and then none of them have any meaning, and quite frankly, they don't work for you. Man. You give them all these toys and then the board with all of them, whereas if they only have a few, and then you need some free time, you belt out a brand new toy that you didn't give her right in the moment when she was getting too many toys, Like on a birthday, you just give her a new toy for no reason. On a Wednesday, you just bought yourself an hour because we were by my sister's house and my sister has a lot of toys, and Lana and I kind of left saying, I don't think we're gonna have that many toys for them to play with. I mean couple, you know, a couple here and there, and after they get bored with that, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, no, you replace them, but you should never have more than a couple. You got it, bro, You're gonna be a great dad. All right, there, you have it to give me in sign me up, so I listen. I got a doctor thing I want to tell you about. Man, I go to the doctor recently, right because I had a long story short on my kidney. It was in pain once and I went to the doctor and I had all these tests and turns out I have a little cyst on my kidney. So I was going to go to a specialist. But the specialist called me up and he's like, it's a little sister in pain now. I was like, no, I haven't been since this all started. Actually, He's like, yeah, yeah, it was just irritating you. It's it's no problem at all. Well, I don't need to see you. You're fine. He goes, just go to your doctor for a follow up in like six months, right. So I go to my regular doctor now for his follow up the other day and I'm pressed for time and I'm fine and I don't even want to go, but Jackie's like, just go. You have to go, and you have to like you ever had in the doctor's office and you're in hell, you're healthy, man, right, You're in good shape. It is you that. But he's getting paid. So it's almost like you feel like he's just keeping it at to keep it at. Like I was this close to going doc, we all notice is bullshit. I'm fine, like, we don't need to do this, so just charge me, and I'm out right, but he's like, got to make it worth the time, so he goes At one point he goes, well, I'm really annoyed that the doctor didn't call me. I go, well, there was nothing the call. Everything's fine, and he goes, well, what about the high enzyme levels. I go, yeah, I think that was just because I was taking a lot of advil at the time. Well, I think I want to have a urine test and get the enzyme levels type checked, and I want to do one more blood tests. And because you know, I don't want to jump the gun here, but a lot of people your age, what we're finding now with these high enzyme levels is hepatitis C. Right, And as soon as he says that, it takes everything in me not to be like, I've been with the same woman for twenty one years and have never cheated, right, But I bite my tongue because I don't totally know HEPSI and maybe that's not the only way you get it, and he goes, um, you know a lot of times you get it when you're younger, and uh, it's just do you feel like you have the flu for a couple of weeks and then you're fine and you just think it was the flu, but it was actually hepsy and it stays in you, and then as you get older, it's thoughts to As he's saying all this, I'm literally thinking, isn't this like what Pamela Anderson said Tommy Lee gave it when they banged right, And I'm like, what is this fucking guy talking about. I live in for Dounia. I've been with the same woman. I'm practically Morman dude, what the fuck you know? Can I go? It was quote at A four and he's lecturing me on hepsi oly sh it. So finally I get out of here, right, I think I got a co payment. I go to the other way out just to ductor co pay because I'm so tight for time. And then I get home and I look at the paper that he wants me to go to my lab and get to work, and it says seven fifty for the urine and seven fifty for the blood. So Jackie goes, so, what's going how was it? I go, Yeah, everything was fine. You know, there's no everything no follow up or anything. She's like, no, nothing, no follow up. I did you tell him everything? Go? Yeah, I told him, She's actually nothing. I go, well, he gave me this thing. He wanted to take a couple of tests, but they're fucking seven fifty bucks each. I don't even need him. He was just trying to justify me being this. So whatever, I'm not doing that. So she goes guy. First of all, then zero is the code number. They're both like forty tests, and second of all, you're doing them. I'm like, I'm not doing them. I gotta not have coffee when I wake up. And then go in there, and she's like, this is the kind of stuff to So anyway, I'm going in tomorrow. But would you go, bro, would you just blow that ship? Right? That's what I'm saying. I feel good, baby, guy. He did my blood pressure and he and he literally goes perfect. And then I go to hop off the table and he goes, whoa hold on, cowboy, hold on, get back up there. He called me cowboy. Yeah, So then I hopped back up and he does the thing where he puts it on your back and tells you to cough. Has anyone ever done that and coughed and the doctor went, oh, never right, and so always what is it? Even four? It's bullshit, Just take the money. Never once. I mean, the thing's Bailey my ship. It's not even below my shirt. It's on my shirt. He's doing it through the shirt. Yeah, he's not even on skin. O. God, the shirt's gotta got the shirt's gotta affect that in some way. I would I would think, so, what do you got a super stethoscope? Holy shit, it's all listen these doctors and whatnot. What do you want to do find out something that forget it? Hepsy hepsie got nothing. Man, So I am look at your mother hasn't been a doctor in fifty years. You're good? Yeah, But dude, my mom was coughing from the minute she got to the show until the end of the night. She was coughing all night and she couldn't stop up and my dad was like concerned for her, and it was really you know. At one point, I go, well, Mom, you know, it's uh the allergies. Man, Jackie had to tickle on the throat. It happens, you know, And and then my father pats my back and he goes, yeah, allergies and he goes, you're a good son, and he meant it like because I have a good son. But we all know my mom's been smoking forever. Man. So it was, yeah, it was, and it was I felt bad because they called the night kind of early because of the coughing and stuff, and so you know, well, I mean she still hasn't been doctor. No, she has. My mom hasn't been to a doctor, and she had my brother. God, it's amazing. God's nuts, man, nuts, that's amazing. Yeah. So that's it, man, one last time, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everybody that came to that special man. It was. It was just great. And bro, I haven't told you yet. I just want to thank you for all the support to leading up to it and plugging it and promo in it. I appreciate it. Bro, Hey, no problem, and I can't wait to see this damn thing and keep us posted on when it's gonna air, and uh, it's done. Relax, enjoy yourself now, let the let your wings fly. Yeah I am. I'm really looking forward to chilling out this weekend. I'll be home and uh that's it, man. So you want to cast anytime again. Let's do it, all right, brother, thanks for for tuning in everybody until next time. And I have to tell you, did you hear what loud did? Think? That was just pure art? Man, it's gonna be on the show, right, yeah, it's it's it's playing on this show. And maybe i'll just why don't you just intro it now? Man? Okay? And and this is this is homage to why we got the best in the business, and low Little put together a special six minutes minute that I don't even want to tell you what it's about. It's just pure comedy, al right. I mean, I don't know one other way. I was dying laughing at me. And it's part one your plot too next week. Man, oh god, well, this is this is comedy gold coming right at you. Wherever you're at. Just sit back, relax, if you're on the treadmill, if you're doing whatever, driving at work, screwing off, prepared to laugh because this is this is comedy gold. Absolutely great. Hang brother, all right, take care later. But I don't know the validity of it, but it seems that we have a fan of the show who's in college and the professor in the English class played clips of our show to demonstrate different aspects of dialect and and slang. Wait a minute, wait a minute, get thee kales. I want to know how we're being perceived here. I will. Yeah. I mean that's a good point. I don't want them imitating us in the whole class laughs, and then they go, let's get back to smart. Okay, class, we're gonna start it off with being dumb by Pete and Sebastian. And if you are making fun of us, Sebastian, can you please tell yeah legally. Welcome to Embarrassing Grammar. Embarrassing Embarrassing Grammar, the online course that teaches you to learn from the mistakes of others. Welcome to class today. We will be learning how to mispronounce simple words. Hear us some audio clips you can learn from. This is Pete CORRELLI great comedian, not so great with the grammar. So then the flight attendant kneeled down like scratch down. Next the word chatted it up. There's no such word as scratch here. Pete is combining words to make a fictional word. Is it integral? Integral? Yeah? I stop trying to use big words, man, Just keep it simple. Dude, I have a four year college degree. Tone it down, cowboy, so well did it didn't show there? Well? I you know, I think it's integral man in turgral part of the team. He's an integral part of the show. No, sorry, Pete, it's integral, right, Bob? Who would eat that ship? By the way, to Nutella, I made a note to poke about that. Pete is trying to say Nuttella and it's delicious, Bob, what you could possibly be telling her right now unless you were choking and she's giving you directions on the homleck. Pete is trying to say, Hi, I'm look. It's a maneuver that he probably doesn't know anyway. Now, my wife and I watching Downtown Abbey in the bed last night. Downtown Abbey is Pete's favorite show. You would think he could learn the name of it. Hey, guys, you guys a question. Have you ever heard of an actor named Scott Bacula? Yeah, Scott Bocula, Scott Bacula, Bacula, it's pronounced Bacula like Dracula. What would you rather put on if you could? George Washington's wig? You're in George Washington's wig. The one he wore when he signed the goddamn Declaration of Independence. George Washington didn't sign the Declaration of Independence. You can still be patriotic even if you don't know the facts. And she would dab his forehead as he was driving. Oh, he was driving with the geisha. I think the correct pronunciation of that is a geisha. No, it's a geisha. I read the book Memoirs of a Geisha. You never read it. I never read it. I think I saw the movie. But in the book it doesn't explain how to say it. So I'm telling you it's a geisha. Well, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt because you're saying it with confidence. But the whole world says geisha. The whole world says geisha with competence. I've been saying geisha for years and no one's been correcting me. Yeah, they go home and they know what they say. Did you hear how he said geisha. Yes, we are making fun of you, and it is glorious. Let's continue with this bouncy game. Now, grab some popcorn, folks, I bring you the Great Boudet Incident. Enjoy. Uh, it's got a boot day. Need I say more a boot day, a bout dat man for the ladies. When you got a boudet, I mean, you know, case clothes. You said it so bad that I can't even remember how to correctly say it. It's a bud day, a bud day, a bud day, a body. I thought it was a bud That's enough for today's class. My computer face hurts from laughing. This has been a show within the show. D J lew Whisky on Twitter and leave a message at seven one six six three eight zero seven five nine You're next, Sebastian, see you next class, Go Texans, yea later. This is how you taught to speak. Now listen to these two guys if you want to fucking survive. Excuse excuse me, sir. It works well on paper, but listen, fucking guy. I don't think you're hearing me. It's a whole lot better when you're out there in the real world. The show has ended. God, my setups are fucking amazing. I need a cigarette, seats STI