You're listening to the Pete and Sebastian Show on the riot Cast Network riot cast dot com. This is the Pete and Sebastian Show with Pete Corrieli and Sebastian menascals pet b Skin, It's Jeremy from Boston. And if you guys don't squeeze that turkey to end every show from here on in, then, in the immortal words of Corelli bro we better just quit. That ship was hilarious. Squeeze the turkey because this calls over leiter, No dude, sing the damn song. This ship that ice called my shelf. Fight for that white goat this one for them, good girls, them good girl straight masterpiece, silent Boling, living it up in the city, got chuck so was saying wrong? Gotta kiss myself so pretty seating Sebastian show. We're back. Um, what's up? Man? I gotta I gotta jump right in. We just I just had an incident and the reason why I was ten minutes late on doing this was I almost pulled a peat, but I had to reel it in, regroup and talk about it on the show downstairs at the bar. Just now, it's it's uh to four pm here in East Coast. I'm in Boston. I was at the bar. I slid in there at about one two just to get a burger before the show started. So saddle up to the bar and I don't know if you do this, but what I do with a server, bartender, anybody that's gonna be serving me. I look at the non verbals, I look at the face everything as they approached me, and basically, within I don't know, five seven seconds, I could give you a good idea of the person that's gonna be serving me. Bad day, bad attitude, great smile. I could give you the whole thing right away. The energy was off. I was feeling like, what happened you? You don't want to be here today? And you know I get the menu. There's no smile, there's no nothing. I said, Okay, I know where this is going. Well, what are we talking? We're talking to casual bar for a burger, like a ten dollar hamburger. Uh, we're talking. I'm at I'm at a very nice hotel here and similar to the one I worked. I'm at the Ritz Carlton. Okay, all right, well listen it has to be said. I mean, if you were at a t G I Fridays, I'd be like, what do you want a red carpet to burger? All right, you're at the Ritz. I'm at the Risk, which I worked at the Four Seasons Hotel for seven years. I know how it's done. I expect a certain level. I know I know how it's done, so I would I would expect that type of service. Listen, listen. When you get bad service in life from your mom or someone at home, the expression is this ain't the fucking Ritz, pal, That's the expression you're at the Ritz. You're at the Ritz. I'm at the Ritz, and I am a complainer. I'm an easy go guy whatever. I typically never complained. But the way the way this was going, there was no like apology for the amount of time it was taking for the burger to get there. And I'm on the phone with Lana. I ordered the burger. I started to call at one two. It lasted for eighteen minutes, So what does that? What does that make? It's uh one forty right, and then fifteen minutes after that, So that's thirty two minutes for a burger. I am I out of line here. You would know better than us what you know how quick you could expect the burger at the Four Seasons in l A. I mean, I don't know, it's lunch. It seems like it's you know, if you want a quick burger, you go to you know, in and out of something. This this should be no more than fifteen minutes. In my wow, wow, wow. You want a burger at the Ritz Carlton in fifteen minutes? Cluney's gotta wait seventeen guy, Come on, no, this is this is the I think fifteen minutes is a standard amount of time. As soon as you put the order in, the burger goes on. It's medium rare. It takes nothing but what four or five minutes to cook that? No fries, just a side, salad, no bun. If I was serving you, if it would take fifteen minutes, I would literally tell the cook don't even put it on right away. I think it's not a taco stand. Bro. You want a burger in fifteen minutes, it's quick. I think it's a little fast. I don't know. I mean, did you can give me twenty minutes? Then okay? It's still I'm thirty two minutes. In twenty minutes is when I start to tap the table and my fingers wondering what's going on. Okay, I get off the phone. I'm sitting there, I'm watching TV whatever, the ESPN and I get no, like, I'm sorry, no, nothing not. I'm just saying, this is leading up to what what I'm going to do. Anyway, I go to where you know what? Give it to me to go. I gotta I gotta get out of here. Okay, okay, it comes over with the bag and she puts the check down. I started signing the check and she goes, oh, no, that's just for a hotel guests. Yeah, I'm staying here. I got the I got the that's just for hotel guests. Like, uh I was, I wasn't staying there. What's just for hotel guests? Know when they give you the bill, there's like room charge, gratuity, you know what room, you know what room you're in. And I started filling that out and she goes, no, that's just for hotel guests. I'm staying here. Okay, she didn't know that. What do you mean she Why is she saying that? Because she just assumed you came in for lunch. She didn't know you were staying there. Uh, you're out. You're out in fucking left field. Man. The service sucked, The burger took forever. Now I'm signing the hotel ticket and she goes, that's just for hotel guests. And then when you said no, I'm staying here, what did she say? Oh? Okay, Well, like, do you think the burger would have came faster if she knew you were staying at the I don't know what the house she was thinking, just got the vibe where she looked at me and she's like, there's no way this guy is staying at the hotel. Oh wow, okay, you're a little slap to your manhood. Then, I mean, who listen. I think the bigger thing here is that you thought you were going to get a hamburger in fifteen minutes at the Rich called, and I think we need to focus on that. And as far as when you asked for the doggie bag and it was clear that you were upset that you had to wait, did she even at least at this point go oh jeez, I'm so sorry. I'm sure you wanted to eat it here and now you gotta take it there? Like oh, She's just like, okay, it was sorry about that, sorry about that? Like and again it was like there was no like real and again I'm I'm not I'm not saying I'm a baby here and I'm just saying from where I was standing, it was like sorry about that, you know, like you know, there's certain ways you say sorry, and this can this came off as like I gotta say sorry because the damn thing was like there was no like anyway. I get the bag up to the room, I'm gonna eat. Now, this is a thing that maybe you could help me out with. But if you order a burger, do they automatically put cheese on it? No? I don't think they would, right I do? It depends if the menu says cheese and you order a burger and the cheese is gonna be on it. But if I don't know, I don't know. Man, Well if if the and I have to look at the menu again. But if the menu does say cheese is in the next thing out of your mouth supposed to be what kind of cheese? You're a pain in it. I never rate there. I've never been a way to So now what Now you got a problem because it's cheese on it and infects the gluten situation. What so, now when you got up to the room and there was cheese on the burger, and it affects your gluten, it affects my I have that cheese, I could ship the stage to right. So now I gotta scratch the cheese off, which is no big deal. That's fine, Okay, Now, bro, I'm not against you. I just want to say, no, I'm just batting this. I'm just I'm just presenting the argument to you. To the listeners. Some of the listeners might be listening in on this guy's an asshole or no, it's the Ritz. When you step out an hour ago from your hotel room to get a burger at the Ritz, you don't expect an hour later you're scraping cheese off a lukewarm meat patty in your room. Would in it? Go bag the goddamn Ritz man? Good way to putting it. Now, I'm just gonna go another stuff further. When you have a burger, If Pete CORREALI was going to order a burger, what's on your burger? Wick? What do you normally get on it? Lettuce, tomato, cheese, and bacon if possible. If Jackie is not around. Definitely bacon um and then you know, a little catchup baby fries on the side, ice cold coke? Yeah? Okay? Is lettuce and tomato standard on a burger? Like when you order a burger, is it coming out with lettuce and tomato or do you have to ask for that? I'll put it to you this way. There's a place on the Upper East Side of Manhattan called j G. Melon and every year it gets voted as having arguably the best hamburger in Manhattan. And I went there once with Jackie specifically to get the burger. I sat down. The burger comes on a little white plate, just a burger with catchup, No cheese, no lettuce, no tomato, no fries. Are you kidding me? What a piece of ship that was not where it was over overrated? No? You you give it with lettuce and tomato, a little onion, fries, catch up mustard on the side. Okay. I opened up the togat thing. There's the burger with the cheese. There's no lettuce, there's no tomato, there's no onion. I look in the bag. Do you ever start looking in a bag for some then? And you can't believe that there's it's not there, Like, I go, there's no way they didn't put catchup and mustard in here. Oh and then for that split second, if the person was in front of you, you don't know what you would do to them. Oh God, So I'm hopped up, right, I I go, I gotta call I gotta call down. I don't do this. I don't complain. Never I called down. I go, Can I get the restaurant? They transfer to the restaurant, A girl answers, and for a split second, ago this is her, this is the bar. The bartender is answering the phone. Oh jeez, and I go, is there a manager there? Now? Right away she knows the room number shows up on the screen. I know that from working in hotels, right yeah. Yeah, And she knows I just paid, so she's like, oh, this is She's probably like this is Can we can we mention the sound to your voice too? Yeah? Yeah. I sounded like I was gonna rip somebody's throw it out. Well, I mean it ain't Kansas. She knows she's just dealt with you by the sound of your voice. Yeah, So automatically I'm thinking, oh, she's thinking that I I didn't want to complain in person, and I ran up to the room and I'm gonna do it over the phone. That's what I'm thinking. She's thinking, right, yeah, but which isn't the case. I wasn't gonna complain until I got to the room. The condiments put you over the tops, put me over the top. So I'm on hold and nobody's coming to the phone. So I hang up because I gotta get this stuff set up for our show. And I'm in the bathroom. The phone rings. I couldn't get it, went the voicemail. It's the manager calling me back to see what the what the problem is? Now that's where that's where we are at in the story here, and I have the next move. So do I leave it alone or do I call back? Hey? Look, I went last week to watch a local basketball game and they were selling burgers and I got one to support the high school. And it sounds like it was ten times better than your Ritz Carlton Burger in Boston. Oh yeah, so yeah, I wouldn't doubt it. Listen, I you know it's your call, but I tell you I think I get the GM on the phone and just be like, He's like, how can I help you. I'd be like, well, you could bring up catch up mustard and then we'll chat. But well, what's what you gotta ask yourself this though? What what? What would you? What are you trying to get out of it at this point? Like I mean, do you you know what I'm saying? Like you at the end of the day, if he went and told that girl she's on probation with her job or something, would that make you feel better? Probably not. It's the way you complain though. I was going to present it and and say just that. I said, listen, man, I'm not here to cause a problem or nothing. I barely I barely talk to people at the hotel when I go. I don't complain, I do. I don't do any of this. But you know, I just expect a certain level of service when you stay at a joint like this. And uh, I mean yeah, but like I don't know what I I don't know what I want. It's like when you complain, do I want twenty two dollars back for the burger? And and you know it's like you are you there tomorrow? Yeah, I'm here three nights. I think you should call up and go. Why don't you caught me breakfast, and we'll see if you guys can get this right. That's what I would say, just like that. Well, I tell you the breakfast already is already camped for the three days I'm here. So what do you want stock Jesus on a piece of the company. Yeah, I mean, you know what I would do. I would say to the general manager. I just wanted to bring it to your attention in case you're interested in coming, in case you have plans are coming to the wilberd All this weekend because I'm doing a bit about the Burger hotels on the podcast. Oh man, I you know I don't. It's I wish you would ask me this a week ago when I was the different peat, because I would have had a better answer for you. But now that I'm a changed man, Yesterday, when I was flying here, I had a layover JFK and you know when you do, you carry on and they make you ticket it and then you get it on the tunnel when you're walking out. Okay, well it was like eighteen degrees. Everybody had that bag and I'm standing there and there's still no bag. I'm the only one. So they go go up to the front. It's probably all the way up on the front. So I go up there and there's a metal door and they go, yeah, that'll open. Your bag is gonna come out. There stood there for a ten minutes, still no bag. Then they waved me back down the tunnel. I go down there. They go, we'll have to send the guy back out. They went on. It slid to the corner. I bottom line. I got my bag a half hour later. I almost had frost bite. I grabbed the bag and I looked at him and said, thanks a lot, fellas. No, these things happen, no problem, take care. Wow it's working. No it is. And I almost puked in the men's room ten minutes later. It's hard to h to make the conversion from old Pete to new Pete. That's I'm telling you. They can sense that I'm letting people walk all over me. Now, if I was the old Pete, my bag would have been the first one there. But yeah, sense energy. You're giving off an energy of weakness. I mean, I don't know. If I were you, I would have started out ten minutes in. I would have said to the lady, you know, next time, don't come straight from awake to work, alright, honey, talked to shake that ship off, take the day off. Well, you know, you bring up a good point if you detect any attitude or anything early on in the service, whether it be checking in at a front desk, you're at a restaurant, the waiters on and off night, or maybe that's just the way the waiter is. Do you have the ability to write from the get go? Go hey, if it's gonna be like this the whole night, I need a new server, right, just go. It's not even the service, it's just your overall demeanor. You're depressing my meal man, you're bringing me down. That's someone who's a little more I'll beat about bringing me a burger. Yeah. Do you say it to the bartender or the server themselves, or do you go to the manager and go listen, we just sat down right away, me and the waiter. We ain't getting along. We need I need I need the best you got. I need a new guy. I need a new guy because they all know who the best waiter is. Can you walk into a restaurant and go, listen, who's the best waiter you got? And then you know that's Frank. I need to sit in Frank's section. Yeah, well Frank needs to come to my Frank needs to handle whatever I'm gonna have to give him. Yeah, like you go when you give them made to da hunge and you just say, I'm in a good mood. You got any weight? Is that I'm happy to fucking be here because I who's the happiest guy you've got? See how the problem is, and it happens with me on a little lesser extent because I used to wear front desk at a hotel. But it's it's it's not nearly as customer service driven as the waiter and stuff. But you did that for so many years that you are so in tune with being a waiter that you know, even if a waiter is being polite to you, if if you can sense that he's just being polite because that's the job, but really he doesn't care if you get an offender bend, the pulling out of a goddamn place that bothers you. You you want him to really mean it, like really want to be serving you. And dude, I mean that's hard to find. It is hard. It fine, but what I'm looking for if you don't have the ability. Two. I need a good actor as a waiter. When I asked you, and I'm really like kind of laid back about it, I go listen, guy, if you were eating here tonight, what would you have? It's all in the description of how they tell me how the plate is prepared or whatever. Fake it make it. When I was a waiter, I didn't know shit about the menu. I didn't know anything. I mean, people would come in and go, we want to eat from the Garden's menu. I give him the Guarden. What would you recommend? I got to be honest with you. You can't leave the hotel with having the flat iron steak. Now, I don't know anything about the flat iron steak, but just that steakment, just a statement alone, you gotta have it. Well, why, I'm sorry, I'm laughing. Excuse me? Why why do you pick the flat iron steak? It was my go to what Sometimes I would switch it up because I would just get bored with the flat iron steak thing. What they said, what do you recommend as an appetizer? I know we're not a sushi restaurant obviously, but we make the best spicy tuna roll in town. It comes with three of them and their hand rolls, and they're fantastic and and just that alone, just like we're not a sushi restaurant, we make the best sushi. That doesn't have anything to do with the suit. It's just the presentation that you're like, oh, this is not even a sushi and they're making phenomenal sushi. They make sushi so good here that they go, we gotta make the tuna roll even though we're not a sushi joint. I told you when I worked when I went to ball attending school and I didn't have a ball attended the guy told us how like when a beer company wanted you to try and sell their beer. If you sold a lot of their beer, they'd send you on trips to Hawaii and stuff. And he goes, you couldn't not tell a customer all the beers you had that wasn't allowed. It's like kind of illegal. He goes, But let's say I want to sell rolling Rock, because that guy'll send me on a trip. If I sell enough, someone will come in. What kind of beer you have? I'll go, oh, we got cause we got cause light bud, Heineken and ice cold Rolling Rock you got. I'm telling you that you throw a throw an adjective in front of something and leave an adjective out of the rest. Exactly, baby, we're getting two rolling rocks the hidekens of warm. Yeah, man, I'm telling you that I remember um. For dessert, we used to have a thing called the chocolate pudding cake, and inside the chocolate pudding cake was a warm like molten chocolate. Now, the way I sold that was there, like, what do you guys for dessert? I go, we got a lot of different things, but I gotta tell you that chocolate pudding k I've never had anything like it. It's chocolate, but then it's got melted chocolate inside. So when you cut into it, it's it's volcanic. It's like lava coming out of it. You put the word lava and describe it as chocolate using out of the cake. I was selling twelve thirteen a night. So but here's what I want to ask, you know what about the pressure of telling someone something's delicious and then and then having to be there if they don't like it. Has that ever happened when they go, wow, you really steered me wrong with that steak That flat on steak bread. Very rarely did I have anybody send it back because they probably felt so damn bad to do so based on the recommendation, I didn't really have anybody say, you know what, we don't really like it. Uh So I can't speak to that, But I mean I have people send stuff back that I didn't recommend. But those are some staples that I knew that we're gonna be spicy tune rolls. Nobody ever complained about that. The chocolate pudding cake, nobody. The flat iron steak was good at steak and and and fries. The fries were amazing there. I don't know what the hell they used to cook him in, but Four Seasons fries in Beverly Hills, if you have a chance to get it, it's like, I like a crispy fry. And I don't know what type of oil must have been, peanut oil that they were using to cook these damn things, but man, were they delicious. Have you ever spilled anything on a guest when you a waiter in, like like a whole tray of something or something real bad? Yeah? It was actually at where was it was it at the Four Sea? Yeah? It was at the Four Seasons when I first started I dumped a dachory on a woman's back, strawberry dac ory down the back. Man. Talk about embarrassing, because you know why, because I had I had a big resume of waiting tables before I got to the Four Seas reasons I used. I started my career at the Olive Garden, right, and then I was doing banquet waiting for ship Throughout college. I would work at the Hilton, the Hyatt, and these were big events like weddings, corporate events, uh whatever, bar Mitzvah's. And I'd have to bring those big trays out. You ever see when you do banquets, those those silver lids. Yeah, I was doing. We used to have contests. I used to work with two other buddies of mine. We used to have contests who could take out the most dinners on a tray? And I used to load up right. I mean it would almost be like doing a squat because you'd have to get down underneath the tray and then lift that damn thing over your shoulder. I had fourteen four prime ribs over my shoulder. It's like the flintstones. Man, that's how much meat you would carrying. Oh my god, So I I I went from that to the Four Seasons, where they give you a smaller tray and you have to kind of you know, like when you see a cocktail waitress have like a small round tray. Well, what we had to do is if you ordered a glass of wine, we had to bring the bottle of wine out with the glass, and then we offer you a taste of a glass of wine to see if you like it. So ship, I go around round the room, I get five five glasses of wine. I gotta bring five bottles with five glasses on that little round tray. As as a server, you try to consolidate as much as you can on that tray because the more you bring out, the less work you gotta do. And one night I had this Dakri on there, and I had some Martini glasses. And they used to do very elaborate service as far as like if you ordered a uh, we had a drink called the Marlina Dietrich. We had drinks named for all like real old actresses, the d Trick, we had them in Roe. We had all this stuff. Oh my god, you were a fucking great waiter, dude. Listen. This is especially when they ordered these drinks. Because we had a servet table side. We actually had a stir it in a small little glass bowl and we kind of made a table side and then we poured it that It was just a beauty. The damn thing. At the time, this is was fourteen dollars a drink, which is what unheard of at the time. And uh, I had one of these d tricks on the tray. I had a you know, a couple of bottles of wine and then I had this dacri. I went to go get the wine, hit the daci right down the woman's back. Thank god, she was a sweetheart about it. Of course, we took care of the bill, We took care to dry cleaning all that. But after that, I had no no incidents any type of drinks. Oh Man. At one time when I was working at a hotel um restaurant, I was what do you call busting busting tables in town when I was in high school, and they had all you can eat Alaskan crank king crab legs on like Wednesday, and there was a big table of bikers, and you know, I constantly just had to come out and get all these bowls with the shells and all these animals loading up, everyone eating all the crab legs, and I dumped a huge bowl into the garbage right there, and you hear all these bikers go. No. They were a peeling the crab legs for an hour, and they planned on just munching all the meat in a few more minutes. I dumped the meat. I thought it was the shells. Oh they were furious. Oh God, what a group to do that with. But man, you're you're level to see. This is why you get mad when you're at a fancy place and you don't get that kind of service, because I mean, you sound like you really brought it. I mean when I worked front desk at a hotel, I would have moments where I'd be like, all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna be great, and I'd be unbelievable. I check people in real nice. How is your flight where you're coming from? There's some great things to do if you have any problems. My name is Pete. That dude have like two hours. Then I'd be exhausted and then I just stop cutting corners. And sometimes I'd be rude on the phone, but I'd give a I wouldn't give my real name and then they come down they go, I'm looking for Ken Ken yo yo, you were talking to make I'm like, Ken went home. Can I help you? Well, it's funny the front desk, and maybe you could shed some light on this. And I'm sure people that are listening also have these types of questions at the front desk. Now, and you said you you did it for a couple of hours and it weaned off. Was part of the spiel. Telling the customer we have a gymnasium on the third floor if you'd like to use that. We also have a spa on the fifth floor. When you get to your room looking for internet access, the code is that that that did you have to explain all that stuff? Was that in the spiel or what? No? I never I never told him any of that stuff. And even when I check in the hotels I find not annoying. It's like, I'll ask, man, you have to tell me all the amenities. Yeah, you have everything you're supposed to have. Great, you got a TV, you gotta jam, you gotta pool, fantastic. I mean unless you got something so amazing I never heard about. You know, this is what would drive me nuts. But people would check in at like freaking seven am or nine am, and they wanted to room, you know, And the rooms are until three pm check in, and they wanted their rooms, you know. And sometimes if I have, if I have the room, if you're cool, I'll give you the room. Now. If you come up to me right away at seven am or nine am and you're like you're almost like expecting, I'll give you an example. The other day, I checked into the Highatt in Jersey. I slept over my sisters and I wanted to get out of there, and I left at nine am. I get to the Highatt, I walk up to the desk, good morning, I go, good morning. I give my credit card and my name and my my idea, and I go, I'm with the comedy club. I got a room for the weekend. I know it's not ready yet. I just figured I do the paperwork and leave my luggage if you don't mind. And she goes, we got a room for you. Don't freeze you bottle off out there, it's so cold. And she did that because I came up in a way saying, listen, I'm not expecting a room now. Yeah, So I could have all the rooms available. One guy will come up. He's cool. I'll let him in his room. Another guy comes up, he's an asshole. I'll be like, you can drop your bags off and come back at three pm. And then and then he'll sit in the lobby and I'll get so mad. I'll look at my coworkers. I'm look at him, look at him, look at him. Wait and wait and go get something eat. You lose up, Go get a sandwich. The funk outta here. I'd get so mad, I'd get so bad. It's just it's the way you carry yourself. Man, It's the way you carry yourself. And you're totally right. I did that this morning. I took a red eye. I got in at seven am. The checkout and the check in wasn't until noon. So he goes, the guy goes checking in. I go checking in. I go, that's seven. I am man, you're lucky you've got a bathroom available at this point. And he goes, let's see what we got. And and and if you if, if you, if you tell the people up front you know how much of an inconvenience you are, they're willing to work with you. When you come in demanding stuff, You're gonna be sitting in the lobby for five hours. Yeah, dude, you did to that guy what I do to my daughter when I'm trying to get her to eat, Like she doesn't want to eat something, I'll put up to and she's like no, no, and then I'll put it back up to her and I'll go, no, I hear it, there's no way, no way you could eat this. And then she and then she eats it, and I go, no way, you can't do it again, and then she does it again. That's what you do with the guy. You're like, you don't even have a bathroom at seven. Maybe I do a fella. He's like, hey, listen, at least I get do his I you know, because the burgers in this joint suck ship. That's an ongoing saga, man freaking burgers. Well, I don't know. Maybe, uh, maybe you just go down the front desk and go listen to the first fifteen minutes of the latest Pete Sebastian cast and then you can call me back. So, I mean, I just gotta say something. And I know a lot of people don't toot their own horns, but it's just thirty one minutes on hotel service You don't get that any on any other show. We took a top, We took a topic thirty one minutes. Who does that? No body man? Excuse me? Flow flow like the TV show. Um, what is the soup toure? It's the soup of the day. Mm hmm. That sounds good. I have that. Here are a few important suggestions for the use of your dial telephone before calling any number. First secure the number from your new directory. Then remove the receiver and listen for the dial tone. It sounds like this. That tone indicates everything is ready for your call. With the receiver off the hook, dial the desired number, and this is the ringing segna. Please make your calls in the usual nana. Hey guys, this is logan from Victoria textas I'm ready for the feede Sebastian Comedy Tour is Get some of your guys together, your friends go on tour. DJ lu get your boy Eddie from Pearl Jam. Give him a holler here pearl Jam. It's or with them that would not bother me, Blue, I do not care if I would not care if you played pearl Jam throughout the whole podcast in the background. I love it. You asked, Hut, Yes, you asked, quote you buy Skippy. I'm out like a large selling peanut butter. If you like peanuts, you like Skippy? You ask quotlet Hey peebashion the pitual from Kansas City Royal followers in the beginning, j J Lott on the show for good. If you're texting about poloon Sebastian because you're not gonna get him on the show. You just had a great guest. He was hilarious. I mean put J in the show. You're shipping in the gold mine. Hey, guys, this is navidam Seattle. I wanted to say loving the show. You guys have been hilarious lately. But you guys gotta updat us on a few things. Pete, what's going on with your neighbor's dog? You're still taking your own garbage out to the dump. What happened with your neighbor's wife is she's still going branches back on your driveway? Do you still hate your doctor? Sebastian, what's going on with the fen You were going to sell your porch, you're still doing that. Whatever happened to the tennis match and DJ Lou It's been three shows where's the Pearl gem update later? Well, Mr Thompson, that's really quite a list, And you're right. You're absolutely right. And I think if I really apply myself, I could be a totally changed person. By the time we finished lunch. They get Louis. Hi, guys, it's a photogenic um Jen here. Uh I actually wanted to thank you very much allowing us to come into your life and allowing us to come in to your family's live and UM, I know that it's uh so a lot of work, a lot of dedication, but trust me when I say that you guys are definitely a part of my family as much as you have made us as part of yours. Um, thanks guys everything. Thank you you are lovely, Pete, Sebastian, Jimmy from Boston, t J LU This is Rick from San Diego. Great show. I love every minute of every show. It's fantastic. Sebastian. I saw you one time when you were here in San Diego, sat right in the front row with my wife and just laughed our asses often And Pete, if you ever come to San Diego, I'm definitely coming to see your show too. That's a fact. It's the greatest city in the history of mankind discovered by the Germans. They named it Sandiago, which, of course in German means a whales vagina. Mhm, no, there's no way that's correct. And now for another edition of parenting with Pete. Gather the kids around the radio today he's going to teach us how to m that people in a hotel swinging a miss I don't know what Pablo was doing swinging at that when the ball was already buy him when he swung at it. Guys, A huge fan of the show. My co workers think I'm insane because I giggle constantly while I'm listening to your show and laugh about it. They think I am not step into my office because you're fucking fired. Hey, guys, A greeting from the east side of Cleveland. I'm curious, even though I have five really nice imports stores near me here, how can I get a little shakuitary going from the Beverly Hills cheese shop. Come on, slow down there, happy nuts eighty get Simmy from Bob Dat. What the fuck KT gets becomes the first player in NFL issue went back to back twenty back beatings and Pete won't even take the guy back. Come on, kid, you better than that. I mean, don't get as excited as I did at just one week, but at least give the kids something. He's about to give Robert the vat later imitation since serious form of flattery. Get on the phone, let's go. Your voicemails from the last three weeks have been the show within a show. I am DJ Lou. Please keep the calls coming. Leave a message at six six zero seven five nine. Now back to Pete and Sebastian. Pick it a week. It's a movie. We went to go see, American Sniper. Oh, I'm I'm sorry, m hum. I want to I want to go to sniper school. Now that's how much when I see a movie, I want to be the guy and I want to be a sniper. Now. I've been dying to see this movie. Lana and I sit down. It's one of these movie theaters where you get to pick your seat. So we sit down and then there's a seat to the right of me that's empty, and the seat next to that is an eight year old kid with his parents. You're sitting next to an eight year old kid. Yeah. In American Sniper eight year old kid. Right off the bat, I'm bothered that there's an eight year old kid in the damn theater. That tells me right away, I make assumption that tells me, Okay, they obviously don't know how to raise the kid, and there's gonna be problems in the theater. I could just sense it, not sure enough. I don't talk when I see a movie at all at acause you're white. That's because you're white. And by the way, with the kid, the father's like, what's the alternative? We go to movies and he stays home in Google's pulling from his bedroom to lose, to lose, lose, So right, Lanna. Every once in a while we'll we'll lean over and I don't know what she's gonna say, but I know she's leaning over. In the height of the movie. It's like, I don't know. I just I can't. I can't do two things at once. I can't listen to a question keep my eye on it because I want to watch everything in the movie, any slight whatever. Sometimes there could be a camera shot where they show something which is gonna be significant later on down the road, even though nobody's talking. I don't want to see that now you you you think there's a reason for every single shot and repeace of dialogue. And if I turn away and and I listen to something, I might miss something in the movie. My wife likes to every once in a while ask me questions, and I have to kind of give her the hand, like not now, because I know when it's coming. As soon as she she turns to the right or the left, I go, here comes here comes a question. I gotta put up the hand, and I gotta kind of no. I mean, there's no you can't be cordial in that moment. Man. You have to just say shut it down, because I need to hear what shut it down. So now the movie starts. You know, we're starting to see like the backdrop of the movie. They're starting to show like Iraq, the aerial shots, the names of the actors are coming up on the screen. Now, the kids talking to his father. I hear you on the it's a whisper, but it's louder than a whisper. It's a whisper where you could barely hear it. But then there's a whisper that's so damned annoying that it's like you might as well be talking. Yeah, it's a talk in a whisper se. It's it's a whisper talk, I call it. So the kids, the kids like heaven, and I'm just hearing there's it. I can't make out the words. I just know somebody's talking right away. I'm like, this is it. This is the way it's gonna be the whole, the whole time. So now the dialogue starts. Now I know the kid at eight years old really is probably not interested in the dialogue. And I'm barely and just dialogue. So and then it's in he's talking to his father. Now the father is talking back. So I go, the whole family don't know how to behave. It starts from the I tell you the fish rats from the head, all right, the head down. It's like, okay, the whole family don't know how to behave It's a fifteen minutes in. Twenty minutes in I'm starting to you know, I'm looking at and she goes what they're talking? They talk. She's like, we'll say something now. And I know you've had a deal with this. Have you ever told somebody to shut up in a movie theater? Yeah? But I mean I just do the out loud usually not gets it done. Okay, that's my next question. What do you go with in a movie theater when the person's right next to you. If it's happening like maybe two rows in front of you, maybe you know, seven eight seats away from you, Uh, is very anonymous. Anybody could say that. But when it's happening right next to you, it's gonna be a problem. Because now I'm looking at the Father and I'm thinking to myself, if I quiet this family down, can I take the father? If ship breaks out here? Oh, you gotta love a night at the movies? Oh god, now the Father? Was it? Clo oh ooh. I wouldn't say anything. Well, that's that's why I'm sitting there going, Okay, clo white T shirt kid. Maybe he's home from the weekend from maybe uh maybe maybe prisonly, I don't know. He's rooting for Iraq when he watches the movie. Plus, you also have to take in the consideration the movie that we're watching. Now, if we're in a movie and let's say it's a romantic comedy, fine, maybe you could get away with a or whatnot. But when you're at American Sniper and everybody's hopped up because this guy's picking people off with a with a with a shotgun from a mile away. People are like, you know, they got the adrenaline going. So that's all it takes for me is thish and this guy could go oh yeah and then boom, we're in at it. Nineteen rows up. So so the way you would address this is directly correlated to the type of film being watched, because there's certain adrenalinees going through people's body. I'm even having it. I'm watching American Sniper and I typically wouldn't say anything to anybody, but now I'm hopped up because I'm I'm in the movie. I'm living this guy. Uh, this guy's life through through a through a scope. And there's there's a moment in the movie where the guy's up on a building, the sniper, and he's looking through the scope. The enemy comes into the scope. It's quiet, right the kids that suit the kid next to me goes shoot him out loud. Now what that what that kid did was he took me because I was in Iraq, in the city of Fallujah, in a building. I was looking through that scope. This guy says, shoot him. He takes me out of that moment. Next thing, you know, I now realize I'm on Hollywood and Vine at the arc like theater with an eight year old sitting next to me. He took me out at a moment. So then I start going to myself, what do I say? Do I do it? Do I go? No? I think enough is a good way to end any type of talking anywhere. Don't you think enough is a a powerful move rather than a yeah? I mean, enough is either gonna shut whatever is going on down or it's going to get right to a level of possible violence. But who are you going to address? The kid or the dad? See, that's that's the problem, the kids sitting next to me. So if I go enough to the kid, the father is going to go you're talking to my kid like that? Yeah? Man, So how do you how do the father is going to go? Right? I mean yeah, I mean listen, Well, what's a chollo? That's a Mexican right? Well, listen, it's a It's a type of guy who typically is associated with gang style life, like a gangster. So so why I can't even believe you're entertaining any kind of thoughts of saying anything other than taken, enjoy the movie. I'll look forward to the rental and leaving. Well. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I was going through all this stuff in my head? Is it enough? Is it? Is it that you mind? How about how about that one your mind that get done? What's a nice way of saying? Be quiet? She's the only thing maybe I would do. Maybe I wouldn't do anything based on how you described him, but if I was brazen enough to do anything, I would somehow lean around the kid and go to the guy. Excuse me? So, I'm sorry. Do you think you guys could just maybe keep it down a little? Even that? Oh my god, I feel the knife going through my ribs as I say it. Bro a guy shot another man and killed him, and off duty cop was so mad the other guy, I said, you don't, you don't, you don't. People watch movies their own way, and you can't. And you're gonna address the boy. Wow, I hate the sun. Don't talk to me, kid, Okay, you're stupid. You're more stable. You're much much stupid. You know you are. Don't speak to us again. I'm wanting him shoe. Are you trying to get crazy with this thing? Don't you know, I'm not going did you do anything? No, No, I didn't do anything. Was this the theater where you pay twenty five and you get a blanket? Oh? No, no, this is arc light? This is uh yeah, well this is a sign seating. I don't know what the tickets are fifteen dollars. Well, I mean, I don't know if there's anything more with that story, because I want to keep talking along the lines about this movie stuff for a second. Um, I wanted to do a thing in the show where sometimes now I do these shows on the road and people go, whatever happened with this? What happened with that? Or even Jackie says that, And also there are things I think about that I'm like, how did that? I let that slip? So this is the callback segment of the show where we go back to past shows, and the two things I need to quick bring up is one last show, you said you and Lana and your new the gay guys that you hang out with. Now you got your new hand couple went to a movie theater twenty five dollars each and you get a blanket and the pillow. I told Jackie the other day when you said that, I go, Jack, I could just picture if I said that, He go, were you getting a dirty blanket from a movie and a little pillow and you cuddle it up? That doesn't sound like you. You're an enigma, bro, What is how do you is this pillow and blanket just laundered and been used over and over? Good question? The if you saw the movie theater, I look at an environment. Number one. Now, if you walk into a movie theaters popcorn on the floor, it's dirty, dozens like grimy, and they got blankets and pillows. You go, I ain't touching that same thing with an airplane. You walk on an airplane, they give you a pillow and the thing that's just this bacteria all over the plane. But when you walk into this place and uh, they give you a pillow and a blanket. I got the stuff for that. I go, do you got sheets here? That's how clean the damn place is. What's is the blanket wrapped in plastic like on the airline? When you get a new blanket, I'm still shocked, Bro, I just can't picture you using a blanket like that in any capacity. You know what I based on my history, you would probably think, yeah, this guy's not going to be using any blanket, but based on the quality and cleanliness at a place, I was like, I might, I might sleep overnight, All right, man, Well then you stand by it. And the other call back to old shows is we never found out what happened with Rose. Mrs Maniscalco, the lovely Mrs m and her friend went to the White House. Did she meet the pres Oh uh, yes, she went to the right house. She did not meet the president. She's she got a private tour and absolutely loved that. She thought it was gonna be bigger than what it really was. But yeah, everything was legit. She asked a woman, Wow, you know I wrote that email on a whim and you guys responded, She's like, you know, you know what? You know what made me respond to She's like, two things. It was funny, and it was one of the things you always wanted to do and you never had a chance. And that those two things together made me email you and invite you to the White House. So there you have it, people, No, I had nothing to do with the part of the that it said I'm starting this with a going to see my son at the tonight show. No, I don't I think She passed that right over and said, you know, it made me laugh, and you wanted to come here, and that's what got you in. So she had a blast. Did she see the Oval Office? Uh no, I don't think she got a chance to see the Oval Office. There's a tour kind of like a route that you do through the White House where they just probably take you through like the Great Room and the library and stuff like that. You're not you know, you're not getting into where the decisions are made. Now if you were the president, right, especially if we're not at a time of war, some major crisis. I mean, just for ships and giggles, I would get a bunch of muffins. And when the toys going at one point, I round the bend with a tray of muffins. Who wants muffins? Maybe like the fucking president serving us muffins. I just blow people's minds like that. Oh I would, I wouldn't mind. That's a great way to surprise the tour. Bring out some muffins, bring out some coffee, and have the president actually do it. Or how about go past the library and Obama is reading a book and he just kind of nonchalantly looks up and goes, welcome to my house. What about he comes around them Ben when a towel around him, and he still went and he's like, I didn't know he had visited. Oh, and they're like, we caught him coming out of the shower. You know, we'll be really cool. Is if like Obama is watching the tour with like your mom or someone like that. It's almost like Willy Wonka, where he watches the whole tour to determine who seems to really be most proud and excited to be there. And at the end of the tour he whispers over the microphone to the head tour guide that that group and then that too, like your mom gets in fight over with a friend and you meet the president. He's like, all you loved ones because you're sleeping over, imagine that it fixed one group you call up. I can't make it. I'm sleeping. Oh my god, would you even sleep? I don't know. I just maybe just hang out and go Do you got like a like a like a living room. I could hang out and just maybe watch TV with some popcorn. No, why are you gonna sleep in the White House? You're never gonna be there again. I'd roll in the hallways, maybe I meet Obama for warm milk or two in the morning and the kitchen, what are you doing in there now? I can't sleep you? Oh that yeah? What PR? I mean? Can you imagine the amount of PR you would get if someone he did that to someone? They left the next morning, interviewed by Channel seven Good Morning America whatever whatever station it is, and the person just like, I don't know. I was just walking around and they said, you know what, you're gonna spend the night And they're like, you spend the night at the way? I mean, that's another term I would That's the kind of stuff that would get me hopped up. I'd be like, what a nice guy. Let's people sleep over? If you came down in the kitchen. No time to think. Right now, you're at the White House, he's sleeping over. Just a chain of events, one thing led to another. Line is upstairs sleeping. You go down to the White House kitchen, you go to get warm milk. Obama is sitting there in a row. He looks up, Hey, sa Ashton, sit down, what's what are you bringing up? Right out of gate two in the morning, warm milk with the President what are you going? Went? I look him dead? The I go do you ever wake up and just want to quit this ship? Oh? You're going that heavy at two in the morning. Don't they want listen? Don't you want to know if the president has ever said privately to his wife? What the hell did I get myself in? Though? Yeah I do, But I think with everyone he knows and sees and visits two in the morning, he's tired, he's in the kitchen, he sees you, he liked you. You wouldn't be sleeping overfeated, and you're gonna sit down and turn it into a confessional booth. You want to go lighter side? I go, okay, I go. You got a garage with some hot cars in here. Now you're making him give you a torrid girl? What do you ask him? You being from Chicago, you should go. You should literally sit down and go. Can't you talk to the NFL and make the bass play? Two in the morning? Right? Like? Is that what you guys? Don't have something to do? Man? What are you gonna go with? Like trying to make him laugh, I'm I'm I'm there for one night. I want to see stuff. I go take me to let's say the cave where what's what if ship goes down? Where do you go? What he first? You got to get him with him over? Maybe what you do is you sit down. Even I would do the second hand, even though he's your friend. I'd sit down with the president, go I want to text what good? Wow? Man? I would be something else sleeping over at the goddamn White House. We always end up on that ship. It's so funny. I don't know something that's bringing us to the White House every month. Well, your mom was there. Your mom was there, so so there you go with Bradley Cooper going to be nominated again. Then I guess, yeah, it was an unbelievable movie. And then I got another recommendation. For those of you who have Netflix or iTunes or whatever. It's actually streaming on Netflix. It's a documentary entitled Meeting Zachary. Have you ever seen this movie? It's about It's about a relationship gone bad, and that's all I'm gonna say. And I watched it the other night and I was Lana was sleeping. I was actually in my bed, sitting in the bed, which I normally don't just sit in the bed. I actually had it. The movie was so gripping at the end, I rose out of my bed to sit to get closer to the TV, and I watched the last five minutes sitting ball really oh man, well you cry and undercover boss. So this isn't given us a real good understanding of believe me this this. If you don't cry at the end of this movie, what you need to do it yourself is see some type the psychiatrist and get on some type of medication because it's got wrenching. What what's this about? Now? So I can't really get into it because there's two big, big things that happened in this documentary, and if I said it would be given it away. It's about a relationship that goes bad, and it's about the parents of the guy that was in the relationship what they have to endure and it it really is. If you watch it, you put yourself in their shoes and go could I do that? What would I do? And it's amazing what these parents do. I can't get I can't get any further than that. Alright, alright, alright, something you're recommending, something that's gonna make us cry. Meeting Zachary actually comedian by the name Bobby Lee had recommended me see it. He's always pretty good with his his recommendations. I have to tell you the next one he recommended I see. It's a documentary called The Impostor, which I haven't seen yet, but I'm gonna definitely check that out. Alright, I'm writing, he's down. I just I just rented Gone Girl. Yeah we got that. Have you seen it yet? Yeah? I didn't get through the end yet. Man, I fell asleep. I mean it was good. I just got tired, but you know, I hit as a big twist at the end. Boy, I'm waiting for that. Alright. Alright, don't don't get into that because that's one of uh, it's one of those that Lana and I have to watch. I've just given up on lone in regards to watching movies in bed at night. Forget it. I mean, as soon as the TV comes on, She's her eyes are are are done. Since premiering to nearly forty million viewers and two more than seventy bosses posed his objects on a fake show to get honest feedback from their employees. All Right, it's been shocking a lot of people's smoke blot it's been challenging. It's not the holder's fault that I get pain peanuts, but it's inspired them to change their employees lives forever. I decided to convest around three million dollars because of you, for real, like this is real plenty the best things difficult. I have a track two oh tonight to take on this challenge. I like to fire you place the flowers and the laws that you go today. So the places up in smoke at my house, we're doing the construction. Yeah yeah. If Jackie was asking what exactly, you said, just closets. So you're getting more rooms put on? What is it? What is it? What's going on? Okay, I gotta kind of kind of tap dance around this. What's happening at the hook, at the hotel, at the house is we're making one of the we're making what are the rooms Lana's dressing room Okay, upstairs, So that's gonna that's a big project in itself. So we're kind of framing some doorways my my dressing room. We're kind of you know, closing it up on one side and putting the door somewhere else. We're making an addict for some storage space up there. Uh, we're also getting some furniture and our master we're doing some ball coverings. Lana. What she's doing is taking three of her paintings and those paintings are gonna be the pattern for the area rugs in our master bedroom and our living room. And she's also doing some runners that are going to be h kind of like in the entryway of the house. Nice wow man, Yeah, incorporating her art into some of the the furniture and or carpeting, so that's nice. Um, we're taking the garage and we're making at Lana's studio. You know the you saw where Lana was painting. That's gonna be a proper studio with a different garage door and kind of more light coming in there. So it's conducive to Lana and and her creativity. We are doing a dining room, so you know, we're pulling off the countertop in the kitchen and new countertops so that so that whole two car garage is gonna be Lana studio. You know, it would be really cool, dude, Like once every month we set it up in that studio in her studio where we just have chairs around, not too many Um, well, I'm not every month, but when I'm in town, we'll do a little intimate show like comics come in, do like seven minutes each, maybe storytelling us something in the garage. Yeah, man for the cast, for the cast, special storytelling show from the garage. From the garage. Yeah, good idea. Man. Yeah, I'm telling you, gotta get this show out here so so you get some some Los Angeles time. We could do some creative stuff. Yeah. Wow, this house is gonna look nice. It already is, but wow nice. My point is, Lana grew up with interior designers, right the interior designer at my house? Where was my parents? Okay, Now, working with an interior designer is for me very difficult because I'm very practical when I look at things, and interior designers they don't really look at put this way. I look at cost. They look at Oh, this is gonna this is gonna make the house the energy and the and they keep talking about energy, about oh when when you walk into the house, if we have a piece of furniture on the right side here, it's going to give the house and energy. And I hear when I hear energy, I hear how much, how much does energy cost, because I mean, do we really need a runner up the stairs carpeting for for that much money? I mean, can't we find something thirty percent cheaper? You know what I'm saying. It's like, yeah, you know, and we have a budget. We're working with a budget. So if I gotta tell you, I'm sorry, can I get you a phone? The energy thing? Isn't there a party? That just I just want to go listen on No disrespect, I'm surely great at what you do, but while you work with me, can you not use that word? It just it just doesn't sit well with me. I don't even get that. What does that mean? Like? What can you explain what you think is meant by that before you go any further? When they say it gives a certain energy, like makes you feel happy, that's an energy? Is that what they mean? Like, well, it's it's kind of like this whole idea of functual, which we're not doing functual, But from what I understand, functually is a way of positioning your furniture in the house to kind of make it an easy flow. And I get that subconsciously, you know, they say, never put the bed on the north side of the house. Put it on this. I'm not I'm not saying that this is true. I'm just giving an example. And they never say, like when you enter a bedroom, you're never supposed to be looking at the left side of the bed. Whatever it is. That's that's kind of what they mean by energy. If if you walk into a home, it's supposed to flow, it's that's supposed to be fragmented. There's a certain way the house is supposed to feel and in turn make you feel like like, you know easy what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, Like like recently, Jackie's doing some stuff and she was going with certain calls and I go, wow, we don't want to make it too gloomy in here. That's an energy. That's a bad energy. That's energy. Okay, all right now, I just I just I look at things, go do we need that? Why is that there? What are we doing here? And it's really if you watch that movie money Pit, and you start to to see in your your own life how it could turn into a project with going over the budget, I could see how that happens because the whole idea of the budget. Let's say you have twenty dollars to do something at your house and that's what you budget for. Now they start breaking it apart, and yeah, there is maybe a fund that you budget for like unforeseen things that say, you chopped down a wall and there's a body in the wall. Whatever, you gotta paper out and have the body removed or whatever. Uh. But if you if if something comes up, like for example, we're gonna drop the ceiling in our bedroom because the ceiling is kind of vaulted and it doesn't give the room, you know, a cozy, a cozy feel to it. So we're gonna drop the ceiling. We didn't budget for that, so that's gonna cost. Now. The way a budget works, obviously is where do we pull dollars from the current budget to do the ceiling? And sometimes the people that you're working with they look at you like, just spend another Yeah, man, come back all the massages. Yeah. I mean it's like this is basic math and the yin and the yang of Lana and my relationship. And I think why it works so well is and she's learning as time goes on. But I have to keep drilling it into Lana. Is that I go Atlanta. You know, the ceilings drops here outside. You might need a main gas line to power the barbecue and three or four other heaters. That's gonna cost a little bit more money. It's like it's it's literally a full time job managing this project. I bet man. I love the way you said you in Lanta work well together, like a Yin and yang, because the way I see it, she's got a gallery and the garral is your dressing room and carpets with her work on it. You walk in there, no one even knows you're a comedian and nothing, not even a poster. They walk in the house and go where does Sebastian live? And listen, man, you were talking about kids. Man. The only thing I'll say about price is like, you know, we with certain things, our houses looking sweet, man, the work Jackie's been doing. Way to see it someday. But like even the couch, we went with a nice couch, but we instead of getting a real expensive one because of the kid. She's at the age now with crayons. Dude, you come in, she's writing on the wall. You're like, what wiping her hands on the couch. Lana is gonna get these carpets made and then four years from now, she's gonna have kids just you know, all over these beautiful carpets. So that's the only thing you gotta think about, you know what. That's a practical mind that you have. Yeah, you have kids. Nice stuff that you have in the home is probably gonna be wrecked. And I'll give you a perfect example. We got a landscape guy outside right now. Your father's in this business landscape architect, right, Okay, So and again I always think I'm getting raped here. I always think I'm getting robbed. Is do you think that way? Like anytime somebody comes over to give you a price, I go, yeah, he's fucking me. I man, I can't say I'm getting robbed. And I feel like, you know, you have to be on it. You have to be on everything. Man. Yeah. So the guy comes out, and the guy in his drawings drew like a a pit off the pool where the grasses right now. He wanted to dig down and do like a fire pit with a couch around it. Like so there'd be like a hole in the backyard, which is a nice idea, but our yard is not big enough to really have that and have that work. And plus being practically we have kids, to three or four years. Here, kids gonna run outside into the yard. You're gonna fall right into the hole, right. It's not safe to have a hole in your yard when you got kids running around now, And truthfully, man, when you have kids, you guys aren't even gonna stay there very long. I guarantee it. You'll see. Well, we got, we got. We're on an eight nine year plan on this house. That's what we told ourselves. We're staying there eight nine years. And I'm figuring the kids are gonna be running around the house here. So I tell the landscape architect, go, the hole in the yard ain't gonna work. The kids are gonna be falling into it. And he goes, believe me, kids aren't gonna play in the yard. I go, really, where are they gonna play? Where are they gonna go? There're two or three years old. Weally to take their bike to the park. They're gonna play in the yard. Guy, take the fucking hole out. He's telling you what kids are gonna play. Tell me my hypothetical kid ain't gonna play in the yacht. So I always think I'm getting robbed, that's the problem. And I'm always on the defensive, and I'm trying to keep this project contained because I could, you know, like the master bathroom came up. We didn't have this in the budget. But it's like, okay, do you do a whole new master bedroom and not the bathroom? And I told Hon, I go, you know what, It's not that big of a difference. It's not like the house was built in the nineteen twenties and we're souping up the master sweet to be some unbelievable beautiful, uh contemporary sweet and then you go into the master and you've got nineteen twenties fixtures. The fucking house is five years old. Yeah, there's not much of a difference. But yeah, it's not gonna look maybe like it was done together. I getting that. It's not gonna have that new cost now. No, it's gonna have like a new engine with a five year old body, which's fine for me. But anyway, these are the these are the the obstacles we are running into. It's a big house. We'll divide it up. You're staying you're half stay in line. That is such a dumb idea. Sometimes it amazes me. You ever passed the bar. I'm sure it does you've never passed the bar in your life. You are so much less attractive when I'm sober. Thank goodness, it's not that often, all right, that's it? Use this right everything? How long will I take to put this place together? Two weeks I was saving this for the end. I parked my car. I went into this uh story it gets I've been feeling a little bit under the weather, and they have these like little juice shots. So I go in there and I go there a lot to this place. I'm not driving the scooter because the weather has been a little cool, and I've been under the weather, so I've been taking out the car. I parked the car and I go to order my my little juice shot, and I just happened to glance up and some guys pulling out of this parking spot right next to me and hits my car, gets the car so hard that my car shook, you know, one of those like when the car ship. Whatever I was doing, like I was ordering the drink, I was gonna get a juice too, And for a moment there my my my mouth dropped and the guy said, and what size do you want your juice? I didn't even answer. I just walked away from the red your stir with all this ship I was gonna buy I'm the register because I thought this motherfucker was gonna leave the scene. Yeah. So I go out there right and I'm looking right away. I'm looking to go. That's a that's a new door. That's a new door in my head. The guy gets out and goes, I'm sorry, man, What more could I say? Now? This is what I'm talking about. This is a full circle show. The way you say sorry when you hit somebody's car. I want the guy to fall out of his car and go, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Man, I'm so sick. This guy I'm sorry, almost like he kind of bumped me in the shoulder. That that's the kind of Now I'm not gonna I'm looking at him. I don't say nothing. I'm staring him. I'm right, I'm going My eye are burning through his skull. He goes, are you okay? Man? I go and I'm touching the car right. I'm just feeling it. It's almost like I almost wanted to tell my car I'm sorry. So guy goes, here's my license, I have insurance. Then this is what killed me? After he said he has insurance. He goes, my car's a rental. Oh god, god, a rental, because I know I decline the insurance when I when I take a rental, right right, Yeah, I don't get the insurance. So I go. When he goes, it's a rental. I go. This guy either doesn't have insurance or the insurance he got is just in case he murders someone, for for like, if he hits somebody with the damn car. So we go inside and I get to take his information. Oh my god, how much does this suck? Now You're back into juice shop with a stranger, like, oh, and then he tells me he's Australian. You get hit by an aborigine. I got it by a kangaroo. Was he using mate while you were exchanging information? Mates? Not? If you If you ever had to exchange information with somebody, it's probably one of the most awkward scenes. Especially it's for both parties involved. The person that hits you feels like shit and the person that got hit wants to rip the person's head off. Yeah. But if I was in Sydney on vacation and I had a rental and I hit some out back guy, and his portion. I wouldn't give a ship. I'm out of here in two days. Guy later, what has he got some Australian cars? Oh so now you're sitting down with fucking uh Ben Hogan. Is that the guy's name. I'm sitting with bet Hogan. Get me information. I want his fingerprints and I want a blood sample. That's that's where I want to go with this guy. No, don't you just want three grand cash and a massive apology. Well we'll get to this all right. Now. He takes out and you know this well, I know you do because you do a lot of travel. He takes out that pink Enterprise rental contract and he goes here, I got the insurance. I go, okay, I can't even you can't even make anything out on this thing because it's like a carbon copy. I go when I get that, When I get that, when they give it to me after I leave the Hurts parking lot, I don't look at that ever again. Me NEI, Well, I think is if I hit someone with this rental, it's gonna be a huge clusterfuck. He gives me his phone number. I take down his entire license. He's got a California license, So I take down the whole damn thing. That's good. That's good. He's a resident. Well, yeah, he lives right there. I know where he lives. I know the whole thing. So I'm like, oh god, now I know Porsche ain't cheap to fix. I go to the body ship up and do you know your trouble When the body shop guy comes out and I go, what do you think of that? And he goes and he goes, oh, I'm sorry, I sorry I reacted like that. I go, it's just the when the first reaction I saw, and I saw that because I go, what do you think this is gonna go? And he goes man, and he goes, I'm sorry, I reacted like that. I go, you should. You should saw the way I react, and that's happened. So he looks at it, goes, you need an entire door, you need a quarter panel, and he goes, we looked at my rim. The way he hit my car, he scratched my rim and he also sliced a little tire off, So I mean, it's not tire's not flat, but there's some rubber kind of missing from the tire. So I need a brand new tire. Brand new rim door quarter panel and then a wheel alignment. What do you think, jeez, this guy really ran you into the wall? Huh uh man, I'm ship eight grand maybe? Oh my god? Did you even have the juice? Did? I gotta knowe? Did you do the shout of juice while you're filling out the report? Uh? Well, after I fill out the report, I went to go buy the juice and I continued my transaction. So at this point, yes, I'm halfway into the juice with one shot in me. Now did you go straight to the body shop from the juice place? So it was just a few days later? No, this is day of this is yesterday. This this all happens yesterday. The Australian doesn't come with you to the body shop. I call my I call my insurance company and go, how does this work? What's the protocol on this? He goes, you need his insurance? I says, well, he he has enterprise insurance. He goes, okay, you need him to give you the enterprise insurance information. I call him up. I go, I need your I need your He goes, well, um, my insurance only covers me and my car, not not anybody else's car. That's the type of insurance he got through enterprise. I go. He goes, it doesn't cover it, but don't worry. I have a business out here and I have some like Australian insurance for my business that I think covers stuff like this. He goes, Let me work it out with them. He goes, if not. Now at this point, I don't know what it's gonna cost. This this is prior to me going through the body shop. He goes, if not. If not, do you like veggiammite? I made great vegemite. I'll bring you over some jaws. What the fuck he's telling you? Not the worry guy. Don't worry about me, worry about you. I'm gonna call the cops. Fucking back, asshole Jesus. All right, So where are we at. I'm on pins and needles. If my Australian insurance doesn't cover this, I'll pay for it cash right right ship, And I ain't getting then, I'll just take the cash and drive around with the fun up door. So a lot of good news. We're getting the drop ceiling, but I'm driving around with the door. Oh god, so I said, uh, oh okay. Now he he rented a car, and I think it's called a scion. Have you seen those No, man, I think they're about thirty three dollars. So I'm thinking to myself the whole call cause less than the glove compartment door on a push. Oh. So I go into the body shop guy and right away me and him hit it off. Cool for the round. Nice guy. Yeah, well he's about to make twelve grand. He's gonna he's gonna rape me. So he goes twelve grand and I go, okay, what's what next? As I was telling to go, I don't know, this guy's got some he says, if you guys pay cash would be easier. You know, boom. You know we ordered the door two weeks. Uh, two weeks, it's going to be out of commission. I said, well, in your estimate do you typically put in how am I going to get around? Now? I need a rental right for two weeks? And he goes, oh yeah, I don't put the rental two d and fifty dollars a day for two weeks. That comes out to I said, put that in the fucking estimate. Now that thing's up to fifteen five. Wow out your pocket and take the school to wear a jacket. That's called an inconvenience fee to fifty a day. What because you'd be renting a Porsche Yeah, oh right, what you think I'm renting a ski on. So I sent the sent the thing over. I told I told the guy, I need your No, I'm trying to look for the text message to corresponds with this guy. I know what he said, eighteen grand? What did I rear in the pope? What the fun? What is the doors bulletproof? So I go, uh, He's like, I've contacted my Australian insurance agent and I'm waiting for them to come back to me. Just going through the prod ess with these guys. I will be in touch with you by mid day tomorrow, mate, keep you looped. Then I go, great, I sent you the estimate via email. Did you receive it? Yes? I did? Thanks, So he's got the estimate. So I'm waiting now, onna be a phone called text. What's gonna happen it's mid day already. No, No, he's he's he's been packing, he's got he's got the fun. He's an email going yeah, thanks mate. Meanwhile, he's folding up shirts right now. You gotta call Quantis. I guarantee he's booked. I gotta get this guy on the no fly list. I'm telling you, man, eighteen grand i'd be enough to get me to go back to Sydney. And you know, the insurance companies not covering it, They're like, yeah, yeah, we'll do you that favorite X. I don't know. Listen up to this point. Up to this point, I have to tell you, this guy has been very responsive and very proactive. It's not like, you know, like I text him at five twenty two. The next text he texts me just saying just going through the process at eight thirty. You know, so he's been he's been in the loop with this and I have to say, and again I'm I'm always negative. This guy could skip town. I know the consequences here, especially in Los Angeles. Everybody's all fucked up. Who knows what this guy does? But who knows? In l A. It's it's it's one extreme or the other. It's never in between. It's either this guy is the son of the President of Australia or this guy is a heroin addict looking for juice. Day Afternoone. Yeah, you could say what you want about him, but you still haven't gotten your eighteen grand As far as I'm seeing it, you're still scraping the cheese off a burgo with no lettuce and tomato until further notice. By the way, um, do you think there's a part of him telling I don't know if he's got a wife, girlfriend, of something going. I think I hit the man in l a who loves his vehicle more than any other man vehicle, And two hours later he had an estimate. You took your car to the body shop, but the same level of you know, uh, quickness. I guess you'd say as if a child needed to go to the emergency room. Oh a faster, like like the car was bleeding, that's how quick you took it to the body shop, Like if my kid had a hundred and four fever. I tell my wife it's thought sweat it out in bed. But this guy don't even know that. You would have took it to the body shop if he just took a chunk of rubber out of the tie, let alone everything else. Oh my god, bro at night, man, I'm saying a bad luck with this car, bad luck with the car. Yeah, I know, But even if you had a goddamn dots and that just that sounds like it's a bad situation. Man. Yeah, we'll see. I'll keep you in the loop. But what this guy is gonna do, hopefully you'll do the right thing. You know. Um, you know it's funny. You tell people you you got your car hit. The first the first response they said, well, at least nobody was hurt. That that's that's the first thing. At least no one was hurt. Okay, so nobody's hurting. So let's go to the second thing. Where are we getting the sixteen grand from hurt or not? I need sixteen grand? What if he emailed you back, going guy the two fifty for the rental? I mean, I'm looking online. You can at a rental for thirty five dollars a day. You can you can you meet me halfway and just you could also get a scion for a hundred dollars. Okay, you know, speaking of driving, I made a note here I had to tell you in a in a nutshell. I was doing a show um at the Providence Catch a while back, and the guy, I don't want to say names or anything, but the m C real nice guy, funny, funny dude, He says, By the way, I loved the cast. Been listening ever since I found out about it. I listen to you guys while I drive my car. I'm an Uber driver. And he goes, but when I picked someone up, I turn it off because I never know what the funk you two were gonna say. And he goes, But a girl got in once and I couldn't turn it off quick enough and she goes, that's Pete and Sebastian show. I listened all the time I met Pete when he came to Boston. He goes, and we both listen to you guys. While I drove her away. She was going the ship spreading. Oh man, you're telling me we are the cast of choice with Uber, with my one friend. Man, all right, what a show? What the show lasted as long as a feature film? Yeah, this is almost as long as Sniper. No commercial breaks, no eight year old kids yelling shoot them, great show today, great hanging. The show has ended. He goes, believe me, kids aren't gonna play in the yard. I go, really, where are they gonna play? Where are they gonna go? There're two or three years old. We're gonna take their bike to the park. They're gonna play in the yard. Guy, take the fucking hole of he's telling you what your kids are gonna play me, my hypothetical kids ain't gonna play in the yard.