The next chapter with prim sripa Pat is a production of I Heart Radio. Hey Everybody, it's prim Welcome to the Next Chapter, presented by Baron Davis and Slick Studios. This week, we continue the Transparent Conversation Series, a nationwide multi university tour in series addressing student athlete mental health and well being, where I the host, moderator and co advisor, helped lead these conversations with different panelists on different topics regarding student athlete mental health and it's all being powered by LG Electronics USA. So in the last episode we talked about student athlete mental health beyond the college experience, and afterwards, like all the other panels, we did a Q and A so people in the audience could really have an opportunity to interact and get involved in the conversation and ask some real and raw questions. So here I am at Loyola Marymount University in California alongside Tarriah Flower national champion at U c l A, two time Olympian and gold medalists, currently the head coach for the l m U softball team, and also Betsy Flint, former l m used to an athlete and assistant volleyball coach and also an Olympic hopeful. As we're lie and we are about an hour and fifty two minutes, and so the question becomes, does coach to Yah want to drop some bars? Now? Am ready at moose? Now? Right, that's the vocals, I mean real loose. Now, how do you feel about that? You feel warmed up? Do you? Yeah? Oh? No? Nos? Better players are dead. I'm good. It's like having the first step bat of a game, you know, Yeah, you're ready? Yeah, so you're ready? Flow? Yeah yeah, No one understands what we're talking about. No one's paying attention. It's okay, so hey, okay, we are back. We have coach to Rye Flowers, national champion at u c L, a two time Olympian and gold medalist, currently the head coach for the LMU softball team. We got some of your players out there, or maybe they went to class, but they they've been really participating and that's awesome to see them out there. Oh, they're great. They love their experience. I love seeing them out on on campus. Sometimes it's funny, you know, it's like I'm not supposed to be on campus or at the grocery store. You know, it's just yeah, they get so surprised. I'm a real person, But no, it was good. I have a great group. That's awesome. And of course, Betsy Flint, who's been part of the lm U family for many, many many years as a student athlete and assistant volleyball coach currently in the professional circuit, got your eyes set on the next Olympic Games and police that will be super cool. So all right, we're we are going to engage with the audience that we have a lot of questions here. I think we have about six or seven. Okay, so here we go on the fly. Uh, what is the best way to focus on the good and present moment where life can be stressful at times? Because it's certainly a lot easier said than done. So what is the best way to really focus on the present moment? Do either one of you want to chime in? Yeah, I think I do this in sport a lot too, where you have those thoughts come in and acknowledging like I'm really stressed, or acknowledging what's coming in your head um and being okay with that, and then I like to feel my toes in the sand and get back in the present, um. But I think if you're at home, it's shutting off your phone, shutting off the TV and just being there. And maybe it's reflecting and journaling um or maybe it's cooking. Maybe it's just being present what you're doing, um, but just turning off electronics and just being fully here. Yeah how about you, coach Flowers, Well, we talked to our athletes a lot about UM neutral thinking too, because sometimes when you think you always have to be positive or have to have a certain mindset, it's hard to stay in the moment because you're constantly thinking, I'm not in that space right now. So it's this is the reality of my situation. What do I need to do to get to the next point? Um? Or even what do I need to do to step away? And I think that either you know, whether it's taking a nap or I I like to as an introvert, I would do either a movie or or just have my alone time introvert, Well, thank you, Yeah, I try to disguise myself. But UM, I think also making lists for me, checking off lists and having my two do. But even if it's making a list of what you're grateful for or thankful for um, it kind of just resets you a little bit, kind of grounds you, and then you can come up with your next plan of attack. Yeah. I like both of those ideas. I think maybe from a clinical perspective, two things that I often try to in courage as tools or skills because staying in the present moment is really skilled. That takes time. So for me, meditation is really big. It's not certainly not for everybody, but I do think that it can help a lot of different people. It took me, you know, six to eight months before I really started to understand the concept. I mean sitting still, Betsy, we talked about that you mentioned, you know, like learning how to shut everything off and sit still and sit there in silence by yourself. You're like, this is it's kind of and then stuff starts coming up. Yeah for a minute. You know what, I did a deprivation tank last night, and that's sixty minutes just laying there. You're floating on like salt water, sixty minutes. Sixty minutes. I was so worried going in, I'm like, what am I gonna do for sixty minutes? Like what are my thoughts? Like? Where are they going to take me? And I was so surprised how fast it went, and by the end I was like, I'm just gonna breathe. And then it was over. Who watched Cora? And I think all moms everyone should do that because I'm I'm down. Yeah, no offense do because he's my four year old. He's watching Power Rangers, dinosaurs or something. I don't know, but yeah, I would take that definitely. Um, okay, let's move on to the next. Oh. My answer was meditation and also journaling. I think I really I love journaling. I think it's about those two things I really try to do every single morning. There's a book out there called The Miracle Morning, and it's all about like engaging in certain practices before you start the day to kind of just set the tone, be with yourself, get your mind right. Journaling, meditation, exercise, reading, Those were like the four kind of elements. But I love journaling because it really brings our thoughts and everything that's going on internally down to onto a paper or computer screen and makes everything come come to life. Okay, has there been a difficult time when you were competing that you had to overcome quickly and if so, how did you adapt it's hard to nail it down to one moment, right, I have one that's actually fairly recent. Um. We were playing in Hamburg and this is like a top tier international tournament, and they were serving the ball so hard I and I like to think I'm a really good passer, and I just I was getting aced. I I couldn't pass the ball and it was just really hard. And like in that moment, I just kept telling myself, like I'm the best pass in the world, Like I can do this, I can get through this, and I just kept repeating it, and eventually, just like happened, it clicked and I was able to receive really well. Um, And just that moment, I felt like so like you know, in control of my my mind, um, which you're never gonna be full in control, and those self doubt, those thoughts came up. But it was cool for me to overcome that and just kind of repeat a mantra to myself and eventually we did win a gold medal there in Hamburg. So we're dot Tonice, Yeah, I did. How about you a coach Flowers? Okay, Um, well, you know, softball's of failure sports. So I feel like there's so many times where you know I was falling short. But one that comes to mind, um, my senior year, the only thing the media kept talking about was how we were in danger of being the first class to go through U c l A and not win a national championship. So we had taken second twice. We lost early at the World Series my junior year, so now we're back, and um, we lose the first game of the World Series and I had three airs in that game, so my mind, right, I'm going I'm at home in the hotel and I'm like crying, it's all my fault. We're about to lose again. And the next day, my coach pulled me aside and said, hey, I'm thinking about making a change at your position and as a senior, and you know someone coming in and it's our last chance. I'm like, oh my gosh, like you don't want to hear those words, but I was coach, whatever you need, and she's stuck with me. And my teammates made sure before the next game that they knew that they had my back. And I think that's the luxury of playing a team sport of other people can pick you up as you go. And we had such an incredible picture that year, and she'd get ready to pitch and she looked at me and say, the balls coming to you, and You're just like, oh my gosh, we're connected, We're ready. And we went on to win a national championship. So, um, you know, it's a week long tournament, so you have to turn it around quickly. But um, it was tough. It was you just your mind started going to My mind started going to all the things that could go wrong and how it was going to be my fault and what happened. And um, I had people around me that let me know it's it's okay. We we worked hard all season long and we're going to come back and do this thing. I love. Both of your stories are all about triumph and resiliency and coming back after a really tough moment. I think my moment, I will look down hopefully because I know we're running on time. But reminds me of my freshman year. We were number two. We were number one in the country. Wait, Force was number two. I choked in my match. I was up six four four three and Darren Headlights. We had won something like ten consecutive a C C thirteen a CC regular season titles and something like thirteen a c C Championships or something, and all I could think about was like, don't choke, like, don't don't mess this tradition up. And I messed it up, and obviously, you know, other people lost, so it wasn't just about me. But that was so brutal. I felt awful. But what we ended up doing was um, you know, coming together as a team, supporting one another. We worked harder, we trained harder, We decided to work on our fitness get up and you know, work out together at seven am for the next month or so. And really, uh, you know, you figure you focus on the process and control, focus on the things that you can control, and whatever takes place takes place. And so we ended up getting revenge and uh beating wait Force in the a CC tournaments. That was pretty cool. Okay, what is your best advice for reaching fulfillment after college? We definitely talked about that a little bit, talked about the why. I talked about the purpose. Either one of you want to go first. I don't think I have anything more to add, just you know, exploring your why and finding your purpose and that might evolve and change over time. Um, and just reevaluating every so often when maybe you feel lost or you're not sure what you're doing. UM, finding yeah, your purpose and what you're doing every single day. I would just piggyback on that and knowing it's okay, things are going to change, You're going to change, You're evolving as as you get older too, So UM, not thinking that fulfillment is just one thing. It can be multiple. Yeah. I think for me it's all about fulfillment, purpose, direction, what am I gonna do next? It all really boils down to getting to know yourself. And it's always it's always changing, right. I always feel like I go through a significant change every three to four years, you know, you know, like your priorities shift, your value shift, your identity shifts, your responsibility shift, your career aspirations might shift. So I think, you know, for reaching fulfillment after college, you have to really get to know yourself. And I think we would be shocked at how little self reflection and self awareness we engage in. Of course, this is coming from an aspiring psychologist who's going to really like encourage people to do that self reflection. But that's honestly, you know, it takes a lot of cognitive effort, you know, figure out like the things that we're good at, the things that we're not, the answers that we don't have. So I think I would say for that, um, for me, But I love your points on on that. Okay, next question, what resources do you wish you had access to as a collegiate athlete? Boy? Gonna drum my, Yah know what I'll go first, Well, both of you are are kind of thinking, um, you know, I think the resources were there for me maybe in the college, the counseling, you know, the caps, the counseling and psychological services, but I I definitely didn't know they were there. We certainly didn't have the resources or maybe the availability in terms of just just general psychological help. And for me, it's not just about the sports psychology and performance aspect, right and hopefully everybody's hopefully everybody learns the difference. Right. A sports psychologists is really geared towards helping people maximize their potential and performance on the quarter field. They're not really credential to handle many other psychological or mental health issues. So I think for me, I wish I would have had maybe a therapist or psychologist UM available to me. UM, So so I could have really maybe begun that process. How about either one of you. Yeah, similar, I knew that they existed, that our student psychological services existed. I think it was just more like getting the courage to go. And I think I wish I would have taken advantage of that, especially because it's free and it's on campus. UM. And then I really enjoyed like we had sports psychologists multiple come in and just working with them one on one because oftentimes they come in and work with the team and they ask, you know, like if you want anything, reach out. UM. And I would just encourage athletes to reach out individually because you can get a lot more out of it. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I don't have much different. I think just UM having a better understanding at that moment in time that I should have utilized those resources. And I'll be honest, I don't know if we had those types of things. We did have a sports psychologist that did come in, but Um. One of the reasons I picked the school that I went to was because all of my coaches played and competed there too, So I felt like I had that connection to ask when when I was struggling with certain things of you know, maybe one coach could connect with me on one level and maybe somebody else. Um. And then they brought in the sports psychologists, and uh, just I think to having my support system. Um, I was able to tap into them a little bit more too. And they hadn't They didn't. My parents didn't know anything about softball, so when I talked to them, it was about me as a person, and then not asking why didn't she swing at a certain pitch? So I definitely feel lucky in that aspect. Yeah, yeah, that's so interesting. Okay, next question. This was written in shorthand, so I'll try to piece it together. Does the involvement of sports at a young age have any effects on one's adult life? Do you end up becoming a better person who I don't know better but more assertive? For sure? I can remember be more competitive. I think I always had that competitive of I'm going to learn how to do a cart whill, even if it was by myself, and how I wanted to perfect something. But I was the kid, strangely enough, like I was terrified to call Dominoes and order the pizza. Like I don't know why, but my and my mom would get so mad. But like I was nervous they're going to ask me a question I didn't know or I just I don't know what it was. I didn't want to speak in front of people. I never would have thought I'd come on a show something like this or be the leader of a program. Right, But it's just, Um, it made me more confident to be myself. And I think that that's what Spurt brought to me. Yeah. Absolutely, how about you, Betsy, Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, I think it's awesome to be playing sports at a young age. Um. I don't know if the question was geared towards burnout or not, but I was able to play in a lot of different sports. I didn't like I burnt out at a certain age. Um. But yeah, I think you learned so many different skills from different coaches and different sports. Um that I would I want to do it to my daughter. Um. I want her to be playing sports if she enjoys it. Um. I think there's so much to learn from an early age. You guys doing volleyball at her home? Probably she does. She does love volleyball, she does. Yeah, I told there maybe pick a sport that pays more money. That's awesome, tennis golf. Golf is easy on the body. Although, to be honest with you, tennis players, especially those that reach a certain level, they will often kind of like push their kids away from tennis a little bit because it's really it's it's really demanding. It really is. But there's a lot of sports that are so demanding these days because of all the travel, the money. I mean, it's become right, it's just been a year round uh um aspect and experience. Yeah, this is a tough one, you know. I think the way I can simplify the question or that my answer to this question, does the involvement of sports at a young age have any effects on the adult life? Do you become a better person? Definitely has a lot of effects, just like anything else. I kind of equate sports to an instrument or tool or even just kind of like a knife, you know, just like anything else. You have to know how to use it. Uh and there can be, um, you know, some positive effects, but also some negative effects as well. For the most part, I think it's a net positive there's no question, Like you know, it's a net positive experience. Um, do you become a petter person. I do. I do think I really have, you know, just what both of you kind of mentioned, just the confidence I think also being a female, I think that's just a totally different it's a really really cool thing, especially for me being uh, vertically challenged. Why y'all laughing, Yeah, for me being vertically challenged, Like there's nothing better than like having like that little small dog syndrome, Like yeah, I feel like I can hang it's okay, you know, And I don't think I would be where I am without sports. So hopefully that answered your question. We have a few more minutes in last one. Um, how might one that plays a more individualized sports like track or tennis, um, stay motivated and to keep that mental toughness or rather stay thinking about the team maybe and really focusing on the bigger picture. So hopefully that makes sense. Um. I think the person was really just asking, you know, in when you're an individual sport, how do you how are you able to maintain that mental toughness while also really trying to adhere to maybe a team environment because that can be a difficult thing. And I'm curious what you you both think because you both played team sports. Yes, in beach volleyball is tricky. It's kind of like tennis, where um, you know you're scoring five, um, and it's just you and your partner. Um. Yeah, I think there's a lot to that, but I think one thing is one developing relationships with your teammates because you want to play and perform better for them. Um. But knowing your role to like taking care of yourself and taking care of your job is going to help the team. And then when you're done playing, you're cheering them on. You're on the sidelines like with them, um, doing your best to bring out the best in them. Um. Yeah. I don't have a direct answer, but that's kind of what I was feeling. Yeah, it's a good answer. How about you, coach, Well, I have a mentor that we kind of joke that softball is disguised as a team sport when it's really individual because when you're making the player, you're up to bat, you're kind of out there all by yourself. But um, I think Betsy hit it on the nail on the head of me being my my best does help my team. So as a track athlete, you know, I'm don't told you know, but right the scoring, so if they're they're doing well. But knowing that if someone else does well, it doesn't take from me, It just adds more value to the group. Um and me pushing myself to be better in practice or when we're training or competing against each other makes everybody else better. So figuring out of me being my best self and self care in elevating my game can help make everybody else around me better too. Yes, yes, absolutely, I agree with the both of you, like recognizing that you can remain motivated because becoming your best helps the team become it's best. It's all directly correlated and connected with one another. And I think the other thing, because the weird thing about tennants is you start out it's really an individual sport and then the moment you get to college and all of a sudden becomes like a team sport. And it was a really tough It was a different dynamic, and I the pendulum swung the other way for me because I was like, oh, I'm all selfless, you know. And it was weird because it's like my teammates are kind of my competitors a little bit, because we're all trying to fight for spots and so it's a really hard thing. So I think the thing that I would have wanted to know, um, or I wish I would have realized, is recognizing that being a part of a team and being the best teammate is not just about points and scoring and getting the most wins. I didn't realize that. So it's really learning learning about the sport and learning the differences between individual and team sports. So some of that might be listening to podcasts and listening to basketball, you know, basketball dynamics, or learning more about football or softball or volleyball or whatever, and just hearing from other coaches and other athletes, and you'll really begin to understand like how you can contribute to not only yourself but also a team, you know, whether that's scoring or being a good cheerleader, being the glue person so to speak. Um So I think I probably I wish I would have known that. Yeah. Uh, so we're gonna wrap up just on time, two minutes so you can get home, Betsy to take care of uh, take care of your daughter. Well, I mean, we've been sitting here for a really long time. Um. But the final question I'll ask both of you, and I've asked all the other panel is it's just what was it like just to sit here? And I want you to be honest, Um, what was it like to sit here and maybe talk about some things that, uh it seemed maybe raw and also things that we don't necessarily talk about all the time in sports, either one of you. Yeah. For me, it's just a good reminder to stop and listen to myself and reflect. Um, I get so caught up and just running from place to place. Like I mentioned earlier, you think I learned by now, and it's still a challenge just to like take a little moment between each thing and just be here and not worry about anything else. Um. So yeah, it's awesome just to have this conversation and bring those things up that I can get better at and knowing that, I mean, these are conversations that can be had openly with you know, friends and people you love and just talking to them and making sure they're okay, and um, just being a good person and a good friend to all those people. That's awesome. I love it. How about you, coach, I would say, Um, you know, we do talk about this subject a lot with our team. Um, and I say a lot. We we talk about it, and I wish we would do a better job and speak more and it's more open. But um, I'll be honest, sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, am I saying the right things? Because it's still I feel like I'm still learning about me and how I want others to feel and kind of just the subject and how it's evolving. So it's, um, it's good, but it makes me a little self conscious of just am I doing the right things? And I'm hopefully I'm directing people the right direction. But um, it definitely again makes me reflect and make sure that I'm putting an emphasis on it in my program. Yeah, I appreciate what both of you it, and I totally agree coach, because you know, I actually made made a post today on social media just kind of talking about that because I think with such sensitive we know this is a serious it can be a serious topic, and we always want to do the right things and we don't want to lead people in the wrong direction, and so the consequences of what we could say can be pretty big, you know, because we don't want to hurt anybody or further hurt anybody. But I don't know the way I kind of phrased it. I just felt like, you know what, if our intentions are there, if we leave with compassion and love like no one's ever going to fault that, we are going to make mistakes along the way, right, we're I mean, but we're we're gonna make mistakes. But this is what this series LG Transparent Conversation Series is all about, is just being real and being honest and just doing our best to help anybody that's listening or help anybody that's out there. It's not gonna be perfect. We're not gonna be able to save every single life, but at the end of the day, we're just trying, right, and that's all you can really do. And I guess that's a lesson that we could learn from sports. But Betsy Coach, I mean, it's been such an honor, it's been so much fun. And thank you. Next time, maybe we can do a happy Hour Wellness Friday and we'll become even more transparent and raw. I don't know if t D and LG people would he he's starting to know what I don't know do I will Chips, Honey, Okay, he's calling I'm being I'm being called. Uh, that's gonna do it for today the LG Transparent Conversations here at l m MU, and this has been wonderful, much

The next chapter with prim sripa Pat is a production of I Heart Radio. Hey Everybody, it's prim Welcome to the Next Chapter, presented by Baron Davis and Slick Studios. This week, we continue the Transparent Conversation Series, a nationwide multi university tour in series addressing student athlete mental health and well being, where I the host, moderator and co advisor, helped lead these conversations with different panelists on different topics regarding student athlete mental health and it's all being powered by LG Electronics USA. So in the last episode we talked about student athlete mental health beyond the college experience, and afterwards, like all the other panels, we did a Q and A so people in the audience could really have an opportunity to interact and get involved in the conversation and ask some real and raw questions. So here I am at Loyola Marymount University in California alongside Tarriah Flower national champion at U c l A, two time Olympian and gold medalists, currently the head coach for the l m U softball team, and also Betsy Flint, former l m used to an athlete and assistant volleyball coach and also an Olympic hopeful. As we're lie and we are about an hour and fifty two minutes, and so the question becomes, does coach to Yah want to drop some bars? Now? Am ready at moose? Now? Right, that's the vocals, I mean real loose. Now, how do you feel about that? You feel warmed up? Do you? Yeah? Oh? No? Nos? Better players are dead. I'm good. It's like having the first step bat of a game, you know, Yeah, you're ready? Yeah, so you're ready? Flow? Yeah yeah, No one understands what we're talking about. No one's paying attention. It's okay, so hey, okay, we are back. We have coach to Rye Flowers, national champion at u c L, a two time Olympian and gold medalist, currently the head coach for the LMU softball team. We got some of your players out there, or maybe they went to class, but they they've been really participating and that's awesome to see them out there. Oh, they're great. They love their experience. I love seeing them out on on campus. Sometimes it's funny, you know, it's like I'm not supposed to be on campus or at the grocery store. You know, it's just yeah, they get so surprised. I'm a real person, But no, it was good. I have a great group. That's awesome. And of course, Betsy Flint, who's been part of the lm U family for many, many many years as a student athlete and assistant volleyball coach currently in the professional circuit, got your eyes set on the next Olympic Games and police that will be super cool. So all right, we're we are going to engage with the audience that we have a lot of questions here. I think we have about six or seven. Okay, so here we go on the fly. Uh, what is the best way to focus on the good and present moment where life can be stressful at times? Because it's certainly a lot easier said than done. So what is the best way to really focus on the present moment? Do either one of you want to chime in? Yeah, I think I do this in sport a lot too, where you have those thoughts come in and acknowledging like I'm really stressed, or acknowledging what's coming in your head um and being okay with that, and then I like to feel my toes in the sand and get back in the present, um. But I think if you're at home, it's shutting off your phone, shutting off the TV and just being there. And maybe it's reflecting and journaling um or maybe it's cooking. Maybe it's just being present what you're doing, um, but just turning off electronics and just being fully here. Yeah how about you, coach Flowers, Well, we talked to our athletes a lot about UM neutral thinking too, because sometimes when you think you always have to be positive or have to have a certain mindset, it's hard to stay in the moment because you're constantly thinking, I'm not in that space right now. So it's this is the reality of my situation. What do I need to do to get to the next point? Um? Or even what do I need to do to step away? And I think that either you know, whether it's taking a nap or I I like to as an introvert, I would do either a movie or or just have my alone time introvert, Well, thank you, Yeah, I try to disguise myself. But UM, I think also making lists for me, checking off lists and having my two do. But even if it's making a list of what you're grateful for or thankful for um, it kind of just resets you a little bit, kind of grounds you, and then you can come up with your next plan of attack. Yeah. I like both of those ideas. I think maybe from a clinical perspective, two things that I often try to in courage as tools or skills because staying in the present moment is really skilled. That takes time. So for me, meditation is really big. It's not certainly not for everybody, but I do think that it can help a lot of different people. It took me, you know, six to eight months before I really started to understand the concept. I mean sitting still, Betsy, we talked about that you mentioned, you know, like learning how to shut everything off and sit still and sit there in silence by yourself. You're like, this is it's kind of and then stuff starts coming up. Yeah for a minute. You know what, I did a deprivation tank last night, and that's sixty minutes just laying there. You're floating on like salt water, sixty minutes. Sixty minutes. I was so worried going in, I'm like, what am I gonna do for sixty minutes? Like what are my thoughts? Like? Where are they going to take me? And I was so surprised how fast it went, and by the end I was like, I'm just gonna breathe. And then it was over. Who watched Cora? And I think all moms everyone should do that because I'm I'm down. Yeah, no offense do because he's my four year old. He's watching Power Rangers, dinosaurs or something. I don't know, but yeah, I would take that definitely. Um, okay, let's move on to the next. Oh. My answer was meditation and also journaling. I think I really I love journaling. I think it's about those two things I really try to do every single morning. There's a book out there called The Miracle Morning, and it's all about like engaging in certain practices before you start the day to kind of just set the tone, be with yourself, get your mind right. Journaling, meditation, exercise, reading, Those were like the four kind of elements. But I love journaling because it really brings our thoughts and everything that's going on internally down to onto a paper or computer screen and makes everything come come to life. Okay, has there been a difficult time when you were competing that you had to overcome quickly and if so, how did you adapt it's hard to nail it down to one moment, right, I have one that's actually fairly recent. Um. We were playing in Hamburg and this is like a top tier international tournament, and they were serving the ball so hard I and I like to think I'm a really good passer, and I just I was getting aced. I I couldn't pass the ball and it was just really hard. And like in that moment, I just kept telling myself, like I'm the best pass in the world, Like I can do this, I can get through this, and I just kept repeating it, and eventually, just like happened, it clicked and I was able to receive really well. Um, And just that moment, I felt like so like you know, in control of my my mind, um, which you're never gonna be full in control, and those self doubt, those thoughts came up. But it was cool for me to overcome that and just kind of repeat a mantra to myself and eventually we did win a gold medal there in Hamburg. So we're dot Tonice, Yeah, I did. How about you a coach Flowers? Okay, Um, well, you know, softball's of failure sports. So I feel like there's so many times where you know I was falling short. But one that comes to mind, um, my senior year, the only thing the media kept talking about was how we were in danger of being the first class to go through U c l A and not win a national championship. So we had taken second twice. We lost early at the World Series my junior year, so now we're back, and um, we lose the first game of the World Series and I had three airs in that game, so my mind, right, I'm going I'm at home in the hotel and I'm like crying, it's all my fault. We're about to lose again. And the next day, my coach pulled me aside and said, hey, I'm thinking about making a change at your position and as a senior, and you know someone coming in and it's our last chance. I'm like, oh my gosh, like you don't want to hear those words, but I was coach, whatever you need, and she's stuck with me. And my teammates made sure before the next game that they knew that they had my back. And I think that's the luxury of playing a team sport of other people can pick you up as you go. And we had such an incredible picture that year, and she'd get ready to pitch and she looked at me and say, the balls coming to you, and You're just like, oh my gosh, we're connected, We're ready. And we went on to win a national championship. So, um, you know, it's a week long tournament, so you have to turn it around quickly. But um, it was tough. It was you just your mind started going to My mind started going to all the things that could go wrong and how it was going to be my fault and what happened. And um, I had people around me that let me know it's it's okay. We we worked hard all season long and we're going to come back and do this thing. I love. Both of your stories are all about triumph and resiliency and coming back after a really tough moment. I think my moment, I will look down hopefully because I know we're running on time. But reminds me of my freshman year. We were number two. We were number one in the country. Wait, Force was number two. I choked in my match. I was up six four four three and Darren Headlights. We had won something like ten consecutive a C C thirteen a CC regular season titles and something like thirteen a c C Championships or something, and all I could think about was like, don't choke, like, don't don't mess this tradition up. And I messed it up, and obviously, you know, other people lost, so it wasn't just about me. But that was so brutal. I felt awful. But what we ended up doing was um, you know, coming together as a team, supporting one another. We worked harder, we trained harder, We decided to work on our fitness get up and you know, work out together at seven am for the next month or so. And really, uh, you know, you figure you focus on the process and control, focus on the things that you can control, and whatever takes place takes place. And so we ended up getting revenge and uh beating wait Force in the a CC tournaments. That was pretty cool. Okay, what is your best advice for reaching fulfillment after college? We definitely talked about that a little bit, talked about the why. I talked about the purpose. Either one of you want to go first. I don't think I have anything more to add, just you know, exploring your why and finding your purpose and that might evolve and change over time. Um, and just reevaluating every so often when maybe you feel lost or you're not sure what you're doing. UM, finding yeah, your purpose and what you're doing every single day. I would just piggyback on that and knowing it's okay, things are going to change, You're going to change, You're evolving as as you get older too, So UM, not thinking that fulfillment is just one thing. It can be multiple. Yeah. I think for me it's all about fulfillment, purpose, direction, what am I gonna do next? It all really boils down to getting to know yourself. And it's always it's always changing, right. I always feel like I go through a significant change every three to four years, you know, you know, like your priorities shift, your value shift, your identity shifts, your responsibility shift, your career aspirations might shift. So I think, you know, for reaching fulfillment after college, you have to really get to know yourself. And I think we would be shocked at how little self reflection and self awareness we engage in. Of course, this is coming from an aspiring psychologist who's going to really like encourage people to do that self reflection. But that's honestly, you know, it takes a lot of cognitive effort, you know, figure out like the things that we're good at, the things that we're not, the answers that we don't have. So I think I would say for that, um, for me, But I love your points on on that. Okay, next question, what resources do you wish you had access to as a collegiate athlete? Boy? Gonna drum my, Yah know what I'll go first, Well, both of you are are kind of thinking, um, you know, I think the resources were there for me maybe in the college, the counseling, you know, the caps, the counseling and psychological services, but I I definitely didn't know they were there. We certainly didn't have the resources or maybe the availability in terms of just just general psychological help. And for me, it's not just about the sports psychology and performance aspect, right and hopefully everybody's hopefully everybody learns the difference. Right. A sports psychologists is really geared towards helping people maximize their potential and performance on the quarter field. They're not really credential to handle many other psychological or mental health issues. So I think for me, I wish I would have had maybe a therapist or psychologist UM available to me. UM, So so I could have really maybe begun that process. How about either one of you. Yeah, similar, I knew that they existed, that our student psychological services existed. I think it was just more like getting the courage to go. And I think I wish I would have taken advantage of that, especially because it's free and it's on campus. UM. And then I really enjoyed like we had sports psychologists multiple come in and just working with them one on one because oftentimes they come in and work with the team and they ask, you know, like if you want anything, reach out. UM. And I would just encourage athletes to reach out individually because you can get a lot more out of it. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I don't have much different. I think just UM having a better understanding at that moment in time that I should have utilized those resources. And I'll be honest, I don't know if we had those types of things. We did have a sports psychologist that did come in, but Um. One of the reasons I picked the school that I went to was because all of my coaches played and competed there too, So I felt like I had that connection to ask when when I was struggling with certain things of you know, maybe one coach could connect with me on one level and maybe somebody else. Um. And then they brought in the sports psychologists, and uh, just I think to having my support system. Um, I was able to tap into them a little bit more too. And they hadn't They didn't. My parents didn't know anything about softball, so when I talked to them, it was about me as a person, and then not asking why didn't she swing at a certain pitch? So I definitely feel lucky in that aspect. Yeah, yeah, that's so interesting. Okay, next question. This was written in shorthand, so I'll try to piece it together. Does the involvement of sports at a young age have any effects on one's adult life? Do you end up becoming a better person who I don't know better but more assertive? For sure? I can remember be more competitive. I think I always had that competitive of I'm going to learn how to do a cart whill, even if it was by myself, and how I wanted to perfect something. But I was the kid, strangely enough, like I was terrified to call Dominoes and order the pizza. Like I don't know why, but my and my mom would get so mad. But like I was nervous they're going to ask me a question I didn't know or I just I don't know what it was. I didn't want to speak in front of people. I never would have thought I'd come on a show something like this or be the leader of a program. Right, But it's just, Um, it made me more confident to be myself. And I think that that's what Spurt brought to me. Yeah. Absolutely, how about you, Betsy, Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, I think it's awesome to be playing sports at a young age. Um. I don't know if the question was geared towards burnout or not, but I was able to play in a lot of different sports. I didn't like I burnt out at a certain age. Um. But yeah, I think you learned so many different skills from different coaches and different sports. Um that I would I want to do it to my daughter. Um. I want her to be playing sports if she enjoys it. Um. I think there's so much to learn from an early age. You guys doing volleyball at her home? Probably she does. She does love volleyball, she does. Yeah, I told there maybe pick a sport that pays more money. That's awesome, tennis golf. Golf is easy on the body. Although, to be honest with you, tennis players, especially those that reach a certain level, they will often kind of like push their kids away from tennis a little bit because it's really it's it's really demanding. It really is. But there's a lot of sports that are so demanding these days because of all the travel, the money. I mean, it's become right, it's just been a year round uh um aspect and experience. Yeah, this is a tough one, you know. I think the way I can simplify the question or that my answer to this question, does the involvement of sports at a young age have any effects on the adult life? Do you become a better person? Definitely has a lot of effects, just like anything else. I kind of equate sports to an instrument or tool or even just kind of like a knife, you know, just like anything else. You have to know how to use it. Uh and there can be, um, you know, some positive effects, but also some negative effects as well. For the most part, I think it's a net positive there's no question, Like you know, it's a net positive experience. Um, do you become a petter person. I do. I do think I really have, you know, just what both of you kind of mentioned, just the confidence I think also being a female, I think that's just a totally different it's a really really cool thing, especially for me being uh, vertically challenged. Why y'all laughing, Yeah, for me being vertically challenged, Like there's nothing better than like having like that little small dog syndrome, Like yeah, I feel like I can hang it's okay, you know, And I don't think I would be where I am without sports. So hopefully that answered your question. We have a few more minutes in last one. Um, how might one that plays a more individualized sports like track or tennis, um, stay motivated and to keep that mental toughness or rather stay thinking about the team maybe and really focusing on the bigger picture. So hopefully that makes sense. Um. I think the person was really just asking, you know, in when you're an individual sport, how do you how are you able to maintain that mental toughness while also really trying to adhere to maybe a team environment because that can be a difficult thing. And I'm curious what you you both think because you both played team sports. Yes, in beach volleyball is tricky. It's kind of like tennis, where um, you know you're scoring five, um, and it's just you and your partner. Um. Yeah, I think there's a lot to that, but I think one thing is one developing relationships with your teammates because you want to play and perform better for them. Um. But knowing your role to like taking care of yourself and taking care of your job is going to help the team. And then when you're done playing, you're cheering them on. You're on the sidelines like with them, um, doing your best to bring out the best in them. Um. Yeah. I don't have a direct answer, but that's kind of what I was feeling. Yeah, it's a good answer. How about you, coach, Well, I have a mentor that we kind of joke that softball is disguised as a team sport when it's really individual because when you're making the player, you're up to bat, you're kind of out there all by yourself. But um, I think Betsy hit it on the nail on the head of me being my my best does help my team. So as a track athlete, you know, I'm don't told you know, but right the scoring, so if they're they're doing well. But knowing that if someone else does well, it doesn't take from me, It just adds more value to the group. Um and me pushing myself to be better in practice or when we're training or competing against each other makes everybody else better. So figuring out of me being my best self and self care in elevating my game can help make everybody else around me better too. Yes, yes, absolutely, I agree with the both of you, like recognizing that you can remain motivated because becoming your best helps the team become it's best. It's all directly correlated and connected with one another. And I think the other thing, because the weird thing about tennants is you start out it's really an individual sport and then the moment you get to college and all of a sudden becomes like a team sport. And it was a really tough It was a different dynamic, and I the pendulum swung the other way for me because I was like, oh, I'm all selfless, you know. And it was weird because it's like my teammates are kind of my competitors a little bit, because we're all trying to fight for spots and so it's a really hard thing. So I think the thing that I would have wanted to know, um, or I wish I would have realized, is recognizing that being a part of a team and being the best teammate is not just about points and scoring and getting the most wins. I didn't realize that. So it's really learning learning about the sport and learning the differences between individual and team sports. So some of that might be listening to podcasts and listening to basketball, you know, basketball dynamics, or learning more about football or softball or volleyball or whatever, and just hearing from other coaches and other athletes, and you'll really begin to understand like how you can contribute to not only yourself but also a team, you know, whether that's scoring or being a good cheerleader, being the glue person so to speak. Um So I think I probably I wish I would have known that. Yeah. Uh, so we're gonna wrap up just on time, two minutes so you can get home, Betsy to take care of uh, take care of your daughter. Well, I mean, we've been sitting here for a really long time. Um. But the final question I'll ask both of you, and I've asked all the other panel is it's just what was it like just to sit here? And I want you to be honest, Um, what was it like to sit here and maybe talk about some things that, uh it seemed maybe raw and also things that we don't necessarily talk about all the time in sports, either one of you. Yeah. For me, it's just a good reminder to stop and listen to myself and reflect. Um, I get so caught up and just running from place to place. Like I mentioned earlier, you think I learned by now, and it's still a challenge just to like take a little moment between each thing and just be here and not worry about anything else. Um. So yeah, it's awesome just to have this conversation and bring those things up that I can get better at and knowing that, I mean, these are conversations that can be had openly with you know, friends and people you love and just talking to them and making sure they're okay, and um, just being a good person and a good friend to all those people. That's awesome. I love it. How about you, coach, I would say, Um, you know, we do talk about this subject a lot with our team. Um, and I say a lot. We we talk about it, and I wish we would do a better job and speak more and it's more open. But um, I'll be honest, sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, am I saying the right things? Because it's still I feel like I'm still learning about me and how I want others to feel and kind of just the subject and how it's evolving. So it's, um, it's good, but it makes me a little self conscious of just am I doing the right things? And I'm hopefully I'm directing people the right direction. But um, it definitely again makes me reflect and make sure that I'm putting an emphasis on it in my program. Yeah, I appreciate what both of you it, and I totally agree coach, because you know, I actually made made a post today on social media just kind of talking about that because I think with such sensitive we know this is a serious it can be a serious topic, and we always want to do the right things and we don't want to lead people in the wrong direction, and so the consequences of what we could say can be pretty big, you know, because we don't want to hurt anybody or further hurt anybody. But I don't know the way I kind of phrased it. I just felt like, you know what, if our intentions are there, if we leave with compassion and love like no one's ever going to fault that, we are going to make mistakes along the way, right, we're I mean, but we're we're gonna make mistakes. But this is what this series LG Transparent Conversation Series is all about, is just being real and being honest and just doing our best to help anybody that's listening or help anybody that's out there. It's not gonna be perfect. We're not gonna be able to save every single life, but at the end of the day, we're just trying, right, and that's all you can really do. And I guess that's a lesson that we could learn from sports. But Betsy Coach, I mean, it's been such an honor, it's been so much fun. And thank you. Next time, maybe we can do a happy Hour Wellness Friday and we'll become even more transparent and raw. I don't know if t D and LG people would he he's starting to know what I don't know do I will Chips, Honey, Okay, he's calling I'm being I'm being called. Uh, that's gonna do it for today the LG Transparent Conversations here at l m MU, and this has been wonderful, much