That unhelpful, perfectionistic voice in your head that tells you it either needs to be perfect or you may as well give up is the subject of this week's Mojo Monday. Carly talks about unhelpful levels of perfectionism and what to do when it shows up so it doesn't stop you progressing, even when it's not a 'perfect' day.
Hi everyone, Carly Talor here for this week's Mojo Monday. So something that comes up a lot with my clients is that they set goals. They start off with a lot of enthusiasm, they've got a lot of motivation, dive headfirst into action mode and things are going really, really well. But then inevitably life gets in the way, something happens and they fall off the wagon and throw their hands up in the air and give up. Now, this pattern is often tied to perfectionistic traits, and I'm sure so many of you listening are going to relate to this. So it's this all or nothing approach. It's either perfect or it's not at all. But let's be honest, and I know you're going to know this rationally, it's not a realistic approach to anything because life is messy, it's unpredictable, and it's full of these curve balls. You know, injuries or poor sleep, or social events come up, kids getting sick. The list is endless that can derail you from this perfect plan that you've set for yourself. So a shift in perspective is going to really help. So instead of focusing solely on what you're going to do, on a good day, because that's what we tend to do. We tend to set the goals and we go, right, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, and at this time, I'm going to do this and everything. When everything goes to plan, everything's great. But also plan for what you're going to do on a challenging day. So this is about expecting the challenges. So when something happens that prevents you from doing the full workout or attending the class or diving into that deep work, ask yourself, what can I still do? Because you can always do something. And there's a stoic practice of pre meditatio malorum, which in Latin means the pre meditation of evils, and this is about visualizing what could go wrong in advance to prepare yourself for the worst case scenarios so they don't catch you by surprise. Because something is always better than nothing. Something keeps you moving forward, and that's a good thing because progress, not perfection, is what matters. And if you expect every day to go perfectly, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. So notice that perfectionistic voice in your head and kindly tell it to step aside while you get on with what you need to do. So often we think ourselves out of taking action. You know, we think, oh, well, I couldn't go to the class, or I couldn't do what I promised myself that I was going to do, so I'm going to do nothing. This is all just thinking. There is always a choice. Whatever that self talk is, there's always a choice, and you get to choose whether you stay on that wagon or not. So let's say you plan to go to a sixty minute class, but your day spiraled out of control and you ended up working late. So instead of skipping it entirely, what you would do is go home, put your gear on and do something. So whether that's a ten minute stretch session or a power walk around the block or whatever it is, it's still progress. Or maybe you had an hour of deep work scheduled, or you had some project that you're working on in the phone rang and your kids are sick and they're telling you to go and pick them up. Even doing a fifteen minute focused session of deep work can make a difference. So what we are developing by doing this is being flexible in our thinking, adapting to the situation and keep showing up even if it's not perfect. Consistency always beats perfection every time. So this week, think about your goals and your plans for not just the good days, but for the tough ones too. Even at the beginning of the week, have a look at your calendar and see what's going on, and anticipate any obstacles, anything that's going to stop you from doing what you would like to do, but then anticipating, okay, well what can I do? What's my plan be for when life throws a curveball? So remember it's always progress over perfection, and it doesn't mean that perfectionistic voice is not going to come up. But just make sure you don't think yourself out of action. I have never met a perfect person, and I think we all need to accept our own imperfections and the imperfection of life as well. So have a great week everyone, and I will catch you next week.