Stillness is not inactivity, but a practice that can bring a sense of calm to our lives. This week on Mojo Monday, Carly Taylor returns to guide you through five practical tips for incorporating stillness into your daily routine, even amidst life's chaos. Drawing on insights from Ryan Holiday’s "Stillness is the Key" and wisdom from great thinkers like Marcus Aurelius and Abraham Lincoln, Carly shares her personal journey and essential practices to help you find a it of stillness and calm amongst the chaos of life.
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Mojo Monday. I'm Carly Taylor, and if you're new to the Paul Tayler podcast, you're probably wondering where Paul is. So he is taking a break from Mojo Mondays. We were doing these together, but he's currently doing his PhD. But of course he is still around for his wisdom Wednesdays, and he has a guest on Saturdays, so be sure to tune in on those two days as well. But today we are diving into a topic that is pretty relevant in our fast paced world, and that is the importance of incorporating stillness into our lives.
So here's a question for you.
When was the last time in your waking hours that you were truly still, so still, just for even a few minutes or a moment without your phone or computer, and you were just present. In today's world of busyness and distraction, it's almost like we have been conditioned to be constantly active, constantly doing stuff. And I've thought about this comparison of when I was young. So I was I was a teenager in the eighties and my parents were busy, but it's not like the busyness of today.
I think there was a comfortable.
Level of technology, but it wasn't like that technology was controlling us. So there was less technology and fewer distractions and more physical connections with others. And I know that it can be quite easy to be nostalgic about the past and just kind of remember the good bits, But I do feel that there was more spa back then for stillness that there is today now. Deliberate stillness can feel unproductive, and it can even feel uncomfortable, and for many, especially in the Western world, stillness doesn't really come naturally, and finding time to practice stillness feels quite unnatural. And that's until you actually start to feel the benefits, and then it does feel natural. And I think through consistent practice we can actually start to crave it, not as an escape, we're not escaping from anything, but incorporating it as an integral part of our sort of personal growth. I am someone who's always found it easy to be in stillness. Being in nature calms me, and I can really crave it. I just love being in nature. And if you've been listening for a while, you will know that I journal, so I reflect my life and it really helps me to set my intentions for the day. I enjoy being curious about others, and I can only do this by putting away the distraction of my devices and being intentionally present in the moment. And I actually I used to think there was something wrong with me for finding peace in stillness, but now I really see it as an essential aspect of my well being. So Ryan Halliday, who I'm sure many of you have heard of, wrote a book called Stillness is the Key. In this book, Key explores how great people in history have embraced stillness to achieve clarity and peace and greatness. Figures like Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, who found time for meditation. He wrote a book called Meditations, and he reflected on his life on his relationships despite the fact that he was in a really demanding role. Abraham Lincoln, who was facing immense pressures during the Civil War, often sought solitude and quiet contemplation to make his most crucial decisions. And there are many many other people great people in history that have used stillness to help them in their roles in life.
You know, they.
Understood the power of stillness and they used it to guide their actions to help them make decisions and kind of guide their thinking. And Ryan Holiday he beautifully articulates the power of stillness and he writes it's an achievable path to enlightenment and excellence, greatness and happiness, performance as well as presence for every kind of person. So stillness is not not just about physical inactivity. It's a state of mind that allows us to be fully present, to connect with our inner sels, and to find I guess, a sense of clarity amongst our busy lives and amongst all the noise. So today I would like to share with you five tips to bring more stillness into your life. These practices they're quite simple, but they can be really effective and they can help you cultivate a sense of peace and balance. Even when you feel like you are in the busiest time or life is incomplete chaos, you can always find moments for stillness. So Tip one is start your day in stillness. So one of the best ways to incorporate stillness into your life is by starting the day with stillness. So this could be in the form of of meditation, even if it's just a few minutes deep breathing, exercise, exercises, journaling, or simply sitting quietly with your thoughts, make a cup of tea, and just sit.
For a few minutes.
Ryan Holiday suggests that if you want peace and serenity, stop looking for it in external things and start looking inside. And I really love that quote. So taking just a few minutes each morning to sent to yourself can set a calm and focus tone for the rest of the day. And additionally, do this before inputs. And what I mean by that is before text messages, social media, the news. And I'll tell you why in a second. But my suggestion, and if you have heard Paul talk, he really drums this in, is to keep your mobile phone out of the bedroom and invest in a ten dollars digital alarm clock. That's what we have at home. We do not use our mobiles as alarm clocks. And the reason why is because neuroscience tells us that having your phone within reach, even if it's on aeroplane mode, can lead to this automatic connection with inputs, and it makes your brain alert and active.
And if you are reaching.
For your phone before your feet have even hit the floor, it can increase your stress and anxiety levels right from the start of the day. So whether it's checking emails, messages, the news that can cause you to have a stress response before you've even left the room. And your kids should not be starting the day on their phones. And I am going to go into a bit of a passionate rant on this one.
I'll give it. I'll give a story. I'll tell your story.
The other day, my son Oscar, he had a friend over to stay and we have this blank rule, no mobiles in the bedroom, so the mobiles were charging. And then when they woke up in the morning, they came upstairs and his friend checked his phone and he said, Wow, I've got over six hundred messages. And I just was flabbergasted. I thought this was crazy. And that is the way many of our kids are starting their days. They're picking up their phone and checking their messages before they've even come out for breakfast. And the best way to manage this is to lead by example. Get your phone out of the room and make it a household blanket rule for everybody. Because if you remove this immediate source of distraction, you're allowing your mind to wake up more naturally and peacefully. You're setting the stage for a calmer morning. You're bringing stillness into the morning, and if you're not convinced, try it for a week or two and see what difference it does make. Okay, So Tip two we're still on the technology for this one, and that is about creating digital boundaries. So Cal Newport, who is the author of Digital Minimalism, he recommends setting specific times to check emails and social media rather than constantly being plugged in and constantly having alerts. So by creating these digital boundaries, you give yourself the space to be present and you engage deeper and your activities become a lot more meaningful. And then Tip three is getting out in nature, which is one of my favorites. So spending time in nature is so powerful. It's a way to achieve this feeling of stillness. Nature has a calming effect on our minds and bodies. And there's a quote by John Muir in every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks. So whether it's a walk in the park, or a hike in the bush, or simply just being in your garden, getting out in nature allows you to disconnect from the busyness of life and really reconnect with yourself. Tip four. And this will not be a surprise. It's about cultivating gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful practice that can help us achieve stillness and taking time each day to reflect on what we're grateful for, we can shift our attention from what's lacking to what's really abundant in our lives. The simple act of appreciation can bring this sense of contentment and peace. I have a client who every morning wakes up and says to her self, I am so grateful to be alive, and what an amazing way to start the day. The final tip, tip number five is practice mindful waiting. I heard this on a podcast the other day and I cannot, for the life of me remember what podcast it was or who said it, but thank you to the person who did say it, because I really love this advice. So we all have times when we're just waiting. So it might be we're waiting for our coffee to be made in a cafe, maybe in a doctor's surgery.
And they're running late, which is the usual thing.
We're waiting for a meeting to start, or we wait for the kettle to boil. So instead of that giving into that automatic urge to pick up your phone to check social media or the news or emails or whatever. Just leave it in your pocket or your bag and use these times to practice just being in stillness. And a way to do this is to engage your senses. So, for example, when you're waiting in a cafe for your latte, keep your mobile phone in your bag or pocket, and then notice what you can see. Just look around you. What are the layers of sound that you can hear, Are there any textures that you can feel or touch? And what aroamas are in the air. These are perfect opportunities to practice stillness and really bring yourself into the present moment. If you incorporate even some of these tips or all of them into your daily routine, it can really help you bring stillness into your life and find a sense of balance amongst the busyness and the chaos of life. So remember stillness. It's not about doing nothing, about creating a bit of space for what really matters, and I think that's what many of us need. So thank you for joining me today. If you have any questions or experiences you'd like to share, please go to my website at Carlitaylorcoaching dot com dot au and fill out the form. Even if you've got some ideas on what you would like me to talk about. I would love to hear from you, So until next Monday, take a moment for stillness and stay mindful. I'll see you next week.