Rick took off for his birthday weekend today, so Dave held it down and found a very cute little kid, who is very committed to tacos over siblings. Rapper Lil Nas X had an eerie episode in the streets of LA overnight, and something hairy and scary happened at the pool! Pierce Brosnan admitted to something nobody saw coming, and with school back in session next week, it was time to remember the most infamous substitute teachers from the past!

Japanese Rock Paper Scissors / Attorney Shield / Corporate Pranks / Hero of the Seas / What Has Technology Ruined?
14:35

Tiger Pills / Mets Track Suit / Coke Head / Reacher on American Idol / Siphoning Gas / April Fools Recovery / Listener Email
16:19

Tiger Sold Out / McDonald's Prank / Will Ferrell Parenting / TSA Line-sitters / Failed Proposal
09:06