No matter how much you love your partner, your relationship will never be totally free from disagreement. And nor should it be, say researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. We actually just need to learn to argue better.

The Gottmans join Dr Laurie Santos to talk us through how to raise complaints with our partners and how to react when they complain about us. 

Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connectionby Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. 

No matter how much you love your partner, your relationship will never be totally free from disagreement. And nor should it be, say researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. We actually just need to learn to argue better.
The Gottmans join Dr Laurie Santos to talk us through how to raise complaints with our partners and how to react when they complain about us. 
Further reading: <a href="https://www.gottman.com/product/fight-right/">Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection</a> by Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman.

The Happiness Lab is serving up scientifically-backed takes this summer that are so hot, even your SPF 50 won’t protect you.

With the help of behavioral scientists, historians, and cultural critics, Yale psychologist Dr. Laurie Santos challenges some of our biggest assumptions about what it takes to live a good life. Dr. Laurie explores topics like why we should forget about TMI and lean into oversharing, how dumping small talk makes for better conversations, why the kids these days are actually doing just fine, and how men can establish strong bromances. Each episode unpacks a bold, counterintuitive claim — using research, data, and expert insight to question the conventional wisdom around happiness and wellbeing.

The Happiness Lab is serving up scientifically-backed takes this summer that are so hot, even your SPF 50 won&rsquo;t protect you.
With the help of behavioral scientists, historians, and cultural critics, Yale psychologist Dr. Laurie Santos challenges some of our biggest assumptions about what it takes to live a good life. Dr. Laurie explores topics like why we should forget about TMI and lean into oversharing, how dumping small talk makes for better conversations, why the kids these days are actually doing just fine, and how men can establish strong bromances. Each episode unpacks a bold, counterintuitive claim &mdash;&nbsp;using research, data, and expert insight to question the conventional wisdom around happiness and wellbeing.

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Can Couples Learn to Argue Better?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/491efc29-4e79-460e-8839-b11500e75122/transcript

We’re kicking off a new season of The Happiness Lab with some happiness hot takes — bold claims that challenge conventional wisdom about what it really takes to feel happier. Today's hot take is all about oversharing.

We’re usually told that revealing too much is cringe-worthy. That it demonstrates social ignorance. That when it comes to overly personal information, save it for your therapist, because less is usually more.

Dr. Laurie argues that revealing more than feels comfortable can actually strengthen our social connections and boost our wellbeing. She speaks with Harvard Business School professor Leslie John, author of Revealing, about why TLI (too little information) is often more dangerous than TMI, and chats with University of Chicago psychologist Nick Epley, author of A Little More Social, about what “embracing the cringe” can teach us about connection, vulnerability, and trust. 

Together, they explore the line between sharing and oversharing, and explain why what feels like “too much information” is often just information.

Experts Mentioned: 
Leslie John, James. E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School
Nick Epley, John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business
Bronnie Ware, author and palliative carer 

Resources Mentioned:
Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, by Leslie John (2026)
“Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation” by Jared Torre and Matthew Lieberman (Emotion Review, 2018)
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, by Bronnie Ware (2011)
A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection, by Nick Epley (2026)
“Undervaluing gratitude: Expressers misunderstand the consequences of showing appreciation,” by Amit Kumar and Nick Epley (Psychological Science, 2018)
“Insufficiently complimentary?: Underestimating the positive impact of compliments creates a barrier to expressing them” by Xuan Zhao and Nick Epley (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2021)

Related Episodes: 
“The Secret to Making Friends as an Adult”
“Why Giving is a Great Daily Habit”
“Caring What You’re Sharing”

We&rsquo;re kicking off a new season of The Happiness Lab with some happiness hot takes &mdash; bold claims that challenge conventional wisdom about what it really takes to feel happier. Today's hot take is all about oversharing.
We&rsquo;re usually told that revealing too much is cringe-worthy. That it demonstrates social ignorance. That when it comes to overly personal information, save it for your therapist, because less is usually more.
Dr. Laurie argues that revealing more than feels comfortable can actually strengthen our social connections and boost our wellbeing. She speaks with Harvard Business School professor <a href="https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/profile.aspx?facId=589473">Leslie John</a>, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Revealing-Underrated-Oversharing-Leslie-John/dp/0593545389">Revealing</a>, about why TLI (too little information) is often more dangerous than TMI, and chats with University of Chicago psychologist <a href="https://www.nicholasepley.com/">Nick Epley</a>, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Little-More-Social-Unexpected-Connection/dp/0593319540">A Little More Social</a>, about what &ldquo;embracing the cringe&rdquo; can teach us about connection, vulnerability, and trust.&nbsp;
Together, they explore the line between sharing and oversharing, and explain why what feels like &ldquo;too much information&rdquo; is often just information.
Experts Mentioned:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.proflesliejohn.com/about">Leslie John</a>, James. E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School</li>
<li><a href="https://www.nicholasepley.com/">Nick Epley</a>, John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business</li>
<li><a href="https://bronnieware.com/">Bronnie Ware</a>, author and palliative carer&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Revealing-Underrated-Oversharing-Leslie-John/dp/0593545389">Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing</a>, by Leslie John (2026)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1754073917742706">Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation</a>&rdquo;&nbsp;by Jared Torre and Matthew Lieberman (Emotion Review, 2018)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Top-Five-Regrets-Dying-Transformed/dp/140194065X">The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing</a>, by Bronnie Ware (2011)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Little-More-Social-Unexpected-Connection/dp/0593319540">A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection</a>, by Nick Epley (2026)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797618772506">Undervaluing gratitude: Expressers misunderstand the consequences of showing appreciation</a>,&rdquo; by Amit Kumar and Nick Epley (Psychological Science, 2018)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021-92058-001">Insufficiently complimentary?: Underestimating the positive impact of compliments creates a barrier to expressing them</a>&rdquo; by Xuan Zhao and Nick Epley (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2021)</li>
</ul>
Related Episodes:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/the-secret-to-making-friends-as-an-adult">The Secret to Making Friends as an Adult</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/why-giving-is-a-great-daily-habit">Why Giving is a Great Daily Habit</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/caring-what-youre-sharing">Caring What You&rsquo;re Sharing</a>&rdquo;</li>
</ul>

The Surprising Case for Oversharing

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/cd450628-854b-4c72-974d-b46000f3f353/transcript

As summer begins, many of us are bombarded with messages about how our bodies aren't good enough. But what if we embraced movement not out of self-criticism or shame, but self-compassion?

To close out our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, we're revisiting a powerful conversation from The Happiness Lab archives featuring Jessamyn Stanley, author of Every Body Yoga: Let Go of Fear, Get On the Mat, Love Your Body. Dr. Laurie explores how body shame warps our relationship with exercise — and how to rediscover the joy of moving our bodies.

If you've ever treated exercise like punishment, this episode offers a happier, kinder way to move through the world. 

As summer begins, many of us are bombarded with messages about how our bodies aren't good enough. But what if we embraced movement not out of self-criticism or shame, but self-compassion?
To close out our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, we're revisiting a powerful conversation from The Happiness Lab archives featuring Jessamyn Stanley, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Every-Body-Yoga-Fear-Body/dp/0761193111">Every Body Yoga: Let Go of Fear, Get On the Mat, Love Your Body</a>. Dr. Laurie explores how body shame warps our relationship with exercise &mdash; and how to rediscover the joy of moving our bodies.
If you've ever treated exercise like punishment, this episode offers a happier, kinder way to move through the world.&nbsp;

How to Feel Happier in Your Body with Jessamyn Stanley

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/b0596622-acd6-477f-8f17-b4590153745e/transcript

Negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety can feel overwhelming. But what if those uncomfortable feelings aren’t problems to fix, but signals worth listening to?

As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie revisits a conversation with Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David, author of Emotional Agility. Together, they discuss why bottling up difficult feelings doesn’t work, why brooding can keep us stuck, and what our individual emotions are actually trying to tell us about our lives and relationships.

If you’ve ever tried to bury a bad feeling, this episode offers a more effective approach to emotional healing.

Experts Mentioned:
Susan David, Harvard Medical School psychologist a
Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist, neurologist, and founder of logotherapy

Resources Mentioned:
Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, by Susan David (2016)

Related Episodes:
"How to Identify Your Negative Emotions"
"Stepping Off the Path of Anxiety"
"How to be Angry Better"
"When Guilt is Good... and When it's Not"

Negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety can feel overwhelming. But what if those uncomfortable feelings aren&rsquo;t problems to fix, but signals worth listening to?
As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie revisits a conversation with Harvard Medical School psychologist <a href="https://www.susandavid.com/">Susan David</a>, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Agility-Unstuck-Embrace-Change/dp/1592409490">Emotional Agility</a>. Together, they discuss why bottling up difficult feelings doesn&rsquo;t work, why brooding can keep us stuck, and what our individual emotions are actually trying to tell us about our lives and relationships.
If you&rsquo;ve ever tried to bury a bad feeling, this episode offers a more effective approach to emotional healing.
Experts Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.susandavid.com/about/">Susan David</a>, Harvard Medical School psychologist a</li>
<li><a href="https://www.viktorfranklinstitute.org/about-viktor-frankl/">Viktor Frankl</a>, psychiatrist, neurologist, and founder of logotherapy</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Agility-Unstuck-Embrace-Change/dp/1592409490">Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life</a>, by Susan David (2016)</li>
</ul>
Related Episodes:
<ul>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-identify-your-negative-emotions">How to Identify Your Negative Emotions</a>"</li>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/stepping-off-the-path-of-anxiety">Stepping Off the Path of Anxiety</a>"</li>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-be-angry-better">How to be Angry Better</a>"</li>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/when-guilt-is-good-and-when-its-not">When Guilt is Good... and When it's Not</a>"</li>
</ul>

What Your Negative Emotions Are Trying to Tell You

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/c25db77c-5060-48f3-b44b-b4520154fe0b/transcript

Can Couples Learn to Argue Better?

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