The Buck Up with Kate Langbroek and Nath Valvo- Jelly in underrated
- Dream analysis
- My husband has a new toy
- The pineapple dilemma
- Text from mum
@thebuckuppodcast
@katelangbroek
@nathvalvo
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Imagine, if you will, that you are in a place of great beauty. Some teenage boys walk past you, they yell out, they bitch tits. The world you see is a place of paradox of beauty and cruelty. It will cut you off at the knees, then gift you a pair of easies. And that, my friends, why always always a fuck up? But bye bye bye bye back bye bye bye bye bye better better, batter better, better bae ba batter bye bye.
Sometimes I do things better bad better if we just let her go? Sash, how long this bit would go for?
I've got to take my headphones off, so why can he use me?
I know some technical I've had too much, Clare, It's time for a nap. Actually, okay, I necked that high Katelane Brook, Hello Nate Valvo, Happy buck. I can't wait to get a deep deep bucking. You know when you're just driving somewhere ready for a buck?
Are you ready for it? And hello to all our friends.
Sitting in the traffic on I'm about to get bucked.
For our money back guarantee, which is that you will leave this pod feeling better than you did at the start.
Wow, and in this world. It's been a while since you've reminded them of that. Yes, I forget all the time.
Do you know what? Every week my husband sits at his desk and he pulls out a check book. Oh yeah, he's prepared eighties. I imagine him in a day. I imagine him as like a checkbook Daddy Bucks. Uh huh was that?
Don't know who that is?
An orphan Annie Daddy war Bucks? Sasha friend, greatest producer in the world. Somehow cannot turn our MIC's on. But that's you know what, She's a she's a picture person.
We fixed the Oh, smush a free God, you're good. Pretend how did you do it? Classic one problem? You know, who would have solved this? Osama bin Laden? So you are proving yourself different?
No, but you know why what he would have had someone to sort it out for him?
My god?
Oh yeah.
The last week's episode to get those jokes, I know.
It was quite extraordinary. Who Sasha French has modeled her personality. She has a little bitter of him in a mirror at home.
Today's the day going to change. You want to be s in the world.
And also, as I like to say, dress for the job. You want, not the job you have, which is look at her modesty dressing.
Yeah yeah, good, very lovely, Onesie, well, very lovely.
And here we are.
Speaking of signing checks. Just made me think of signatures very quickly. Mother, Lean, hello Lynn, my mother.
How do you even need to sign things now?
Like that? We're out for dinner the other night for my nephew's birthday. Two things about that evening. My niece and nephews could not care less about what I do for a living. And I love it, almost crave the thud that they give me when I asked them about my job. Yes, I said to Jude, have a birthday, dude, I said, you know my job. I'm a I'm a comedian, right, you know. He's nine. And he's like, eh, well, you know sometimes I do fun stuff. I get to be on stage and crack jokes. No one cares. He said, no one cares, no one, And he said, he ruined my night. He's nine. If you're so famous, how come no one in this restaurant has said, hello, hey, good point, don't be so rude.
He got me, he got you good, and I was he he he, I love him. That's getting on the phone to hear his disinterest, the disinterest of the children.
And you know what we can look job, Kate, Tell me what job do your kids think is cool?
TikToker ohn Sport, Sporting, Sporting, Sporting should be my son and his sister my daughter. They went today to a new cafe opened by a footballer.
Look at they got invited.
No, no, they weren't down.
And I suppose have changed in my day it was nightclubs and hotels and yeah, yeah, yeah, and you know the lines down the road to get in.
Now they want to enjoy that someone else's ven you because they really they've very hard watched the footballers. As it turns out, often.
You're about to be pushed out of the She's going to push me here. She can't blocking the camera for me.
Don't pretend you can't push the ninety.
Pushing Kate out of the way. So I'm shining in the shot. So at the dinner, so firstly getting burned by a dude.
What nationality of food did you eat? Or were you at a pub?
Jude got to choose. It was his birthday, so he wanted to go down to the lower plenty part.
Did he what let me geese. Did he have a kid's meal or did he order off the adult the kids nuggets and cheer?
Question for you, why can't restaurants make everyone's food as quickly as they make the kids food? That food comes out.
It's a good point that those nuggets and chipis got it ready to go.
Those little kid pasta balls are out there before you even all stunning away for minute, wait for my PARMI.
You're right, is a glorified chicken nugget just with some ham and tomatoes.
Mum and dad chicken nuggy.
Oh, that's actually brilliant.
I'm on restaurants. What's going on restaurants? And I always want the kid meal delicious?
The kids meals delicious, especially if it comes with free jelly, a perfect amount of no loves jelly.
Jelly.
I think jelly is regarded as something you know, you know, Okay.
You know what's done in jelly with jam mate? What's with you in my texture?
All right, I'm going to say this, how do you feel about jelly has been done a great disservice by hospitals, by your ill people. Ill people have ruined jelly for the nation.
And do you remember how my autobiography book's going to be called Begging for Panada because Lyn wouldn't give us drugs when we was sick. We what I used to get when I was sick was honey on toast, specially if I had a sore throat or whatever.
Very good.
And the taste of honey now really throws me like, I feel like I'm sick because my body thinks I'm sick because it's honey.
All right, if I may take us into a dark place here.
On the buck up money back guarantee.
Will pop you out at the air to quickly finish flag.
That very quickly. The other thing at the restaurant. The reason I brought up the restaurant. You talked about checks and the signatures.
Oh yes, yes, Daddy wore bucks to Marrow told me that when I was in high school.
Once she thinks that she found my wallet, I e searched everywhere for it and went through my things and found a sheet of paper where I had been practicing her signature over and over and over again to perfect for sick note to get out of detention slips, And then she found good, it's the detention slips signed by home. But isn't that lovely that I at least practiced first. That shows commitment, It doesn't.
It shows respect, proactive, not one of those duncers who writes signed Yanni's mom right that. Yeah, that always happens at some point. That always happen.
Made me think about that signature and in the dark place about jail.
Because you can't eat honey on toast.
I can. It just makes me feel weird.
Yeah, so Lewis doesn't. My eldest son doesn't like chocolate, almost unheard of.
And then one day, oh yeah food.
Imagine where is that? Has that come back to us? If we had any messages the one person.
That we've cleaned some shit chocolate events.
Should they be listening to murdered women in ditches? That's not going to buck them up anyway. So Lewis, as you know, had leukemia for and the treatment was when he was six. The treatment was for four years. It was arduous, it was terrible, blah blah blah blah blah. And part of his treatment was he had to have lumber punctures, Oh god, and he had to have them once a month. And because he's little, the anesthetic the hospital would put flavorings in the anesthetic to try and make it nicer for the kids or less horrible to get it. And they used chocolate for his gas for his anesthetic, and because he was too small to swallow pills when he had to take his chemo, we had a pill grinder and we used to have to grind it up and use Cottie's chocolate syrup. And one day I was.
Clean one Harden no, no, not nice magic.
Ice magic. No, No, the ice magic is not I'm not on board with ice.
Magic late nineties Australian more than yeah.
Anyway, So one day I was. And we were would come up quite often in the family or when people would make a chocolate cake or whatever, or people would bring over chocolates. Lewis doesn't like chocolate. I never understood. And one day I was cleaning out the top cupboard and there was his chemo bag that we used to keep all these drugs in, and behind it was a jar of the Cotties chocolate syrup. And I went, that's why here we go like chocolates.
You worked it out?
How's that? And I'm happy to say he's with us today.
And did you not literally did you dabble with the sauce that you found.
I did look at I did look at the exp You know what I believe in expiry dates? You do? No, I don't.
Cook her up?
Well, of course I don't.
What is it with particular people in the world. I'll tell you what it is. Don't care for it. You know what else? Does it? Your Maitlyn, my mother? No, going through that woman's fridge?
Just like what because why?
What's to go on other than one of your grown children that's moved out.
What if it's something really specific that you rarely use, like what molasses? Molasses can't go off. It's a treackily syrup sugar, it can't go off?
All right?
Anyway, all right, I'm going to present to you an exhibit A, and you can take this home to your big harm a husband.
They can't who confess to you, Yes, more than dabbles, More than dabbles. He's probably listening to this round on a long haul flight. But nothing else to do.
Anyway. So a couple of years ago there was a shortage of epipins. Oh yeah, disastrous, crazy for people who.
Before ozam pick was stealing all the other needles.
Oh yeah, but you can't substitute.
It's not like for like no, but I thought there was also a red shortage of liking, the shortage of like the tools that you need to inject. Yeah, something like that a while ago. Not that I was googling how to get ozam pick or anything.
Right anyway, So I remember saying them put out a press relief saying ignore the expiry date on your EpiPen. Even up to five years old, it has fifty to eighty percent efficacy.
So if you'll listening, and I was like you, you're talking about EpiPen, I'm talking about mustard.
Still, do you know how many have to replace the EpiPen every year because I think it's going to expireaise? By the way, can we just insert do not take this as.
Medical I've got a feeling regular listeners of the buck up here for medical advice cooker. Are you what?
Why wouldn't they be? People want? Do you know what? People know that mainstream media has led them down a dark park?
There we go.
This eat tallow's skin.
It looks glowing.
Look at this thing. You guys that don't need glasses that gaze into the sun every day.
But you say that but I've also seen you try to read small prints, just anything, and I do give me something to read, and I give me something to.
That says hang on hold, it's still wobbling in it, says mid roll markers.
Alright, yeah, that's a technical break, the technical turn.
I love that you knew that. I would not have been able to guess that.
I know, right, what is a mid roll marker? What's that?
Oh, it's an ad that goes in the middle.
I think we learn things on this pop.
We do learn things. Hate learning.
Speaking of food, this is gonna. Yes, we were off food in the fridge. We were talking about so you don't eat epi bend. I suppose you don't.
Actually, my son always has to have an epi bean, by the way, because he's allergic to bees and bees make honey.
And we're all connected. Life is a rug. We're all in it. That's so that you mentioned so wasps. This is so off the topic. A lot of wasps coming into our house recently that you know.
They love yellow and they love meat.
So this is we are working life out as we go to right, we won't bit my dog the other day, not happy, but you dare bite Derby.
Did you take a photo of her?
She didn't have too much of a reaction, but she.
Did the butler take it for her? A snobby dog?
AnyWho nerd alert Cody, the husband said, there's some sort of wasp taking wasp breed taking Melbourne or something or the regions, and it's coming down in Melbourne. Heaps more wasps than usual.
There's some really vi wasp. It's this might come from overseas. This was this, I can't remember what it's called.
This wasp was not around away?
Was it solow?
And it bit my dog and still didn't on her neck under unerneath her like.
Do you know what now? Not that I wish this for Darby?
What are you about to say?
Okay, have you a googled? Yes, dogs and dogs have been bitten by bees stung by bees, and they're gorgeous and faces, they're adorable. Look, yeah, we love a bee.
Don't like a wasp?
No, I don't like a wasp. But wasp serves no purpose, although I haven't ruled out are.
You looking up wasps? What we've done this before. We've talked about wasp and they do have a purpose. What more do they make?
Honey? Do they make honey?
But it's about the pollination and something.
Oh, yeah, whatever, we don't care because you know what, No, you know what, we don't care. Sorry. Also, can we hear you know what? I thought about all week? And it bucked them out every time? Princess Lily bit oh the kid talking to a mother three year old Meghan Markle.
Just like bees food.
I love bees because she harvested bees in her show We Love Meghan that you never watched, which has really made me question your sexuality.
How many times in this pod are we going to have a lovely argument in front of our buckheads about I'm not interested in Megan.
Or anything to do with it, Understand, I.
Know I don't know either. I don't know why I'm not interested.
What about Prince Harry.
I'm very much into anything the Royals, But.
Prince Harry was in a dream I had. She's dre by the one I had to finish beautiful.
I had to finish something, but I forgot what.
It was, something about Cody and our food.
It was food. I haven't told you about the food. I tell you. You know, be so excited. Everyone listening is going to be so excited for what I have to tell you. Guess what I bought today?
Food?
Yes, well done, good talk. Are you ready? You're gonna get you're gonna celebrate. That's avocado.
Oh it's the shepherd. Shepherd is bad season back again, his back, his back. But baby, wow, so shepherd'sy for a short time, only a short time, not a good time.
They were grown to fill the gap. Now it's time for you to off.
That's Oh, he's had a glass of colors. She's very I don't feel like I think. It wasn't a safe space.
It was three dollars ninety By the way, that's for another day.
Oh yeah, no two, I got two two two for three ninety.
Yeah, not bad, not even two dollars.
And guess what you can afford a house deposit now? That say cheap?
Purchased at about eleven am. Had some at two pm?
Right, good to go. Unheard what they've been cuddling them somewhere out the back?
You reckon?
All right, You've got two choices now of where we go.
Oh, I want one more thing on food. I'm so sorry, so much food. One more thing. It's about you, though I don't want to it's about you. What is it you were. It's my new favorite quote of yours, even though you don't even know you said it, because.
It was the text.
You were insane the other day on text to Sash and there was a bunch of these crazy little voicemails and it.
Was all just deliberate. No, was it four am?
There was that one when you text us at four am?
Four am? It was ten bassifall a monster and.
Then you were all over the joint and I was like, you're being pretty nuts today or something. And this was your reply on the text. I've been thinking about it a lot. This is your excuse with food. This is what you wrote when I called you out on your psychotic texts. Sorry I had cake for breakfast. Sorry I had cake for breakfast. Let's break that down. Are you saying that you're too hyper from the sugar? Are you saying that you've crushed from the sugar?
All of the above, because you know, normally I fast till lunchtime. From what time to laugh, Well, I don't really time things. This will surprise you, but basically from when I eat the night before, which could be dinner finished at eight or finished at midnight, depending on if we're out or whatever we're doing, and then I don't eat till lunchtime the next day. Right, But I make exceptions because my husband loves breakfast. I always make him a breakfast. I make the boys breakfast often, but I have hewed hunger. But on holidays, I will eat with my husband because he likes it.
That's nice.
I mean, I know it's hard to imagine anyone wanting to experience anything.
Sitting there talking to him. He does not good enough much.
No, he doesn't like it as much.
Just like when you're out with someone and you're drinking and they're not feels weird.
You do it, Or if you're with someone and they go, I've eaten earlier, Yeah, it's weird. Anyway, Why was I telling you that? Because I had you had cake for bread cake? Remember what cake?
I had left over? Cake?
What day was?
I don't know, I don't think anyway.
I loved it. I remember I loved it. I often love cake for breakfast.
I'm going to I've never done it.
I don't have to be my diet.
What a great diet Cake for breakfast?
Yeah, cake for breakfast? What about cake for breakfast? Diabetes for your fortieth and.
It doesn't matter if you get diabetes because your little pen.
Thing correct your rosine prick anyway.
EpiPens and you've got two choices, okay, cake or no, Okay, You've got my dream.
And I know this is terrible. I know, I know that's an involuntary sound.
I have a question for you, and I'm not going to judge either of you with this. In your fifteen years or twenty years of doing breakfast radio, did you ever have someone on to tell you what your dreams meant?
Of course I think we did, but we were always like, we know, the worst people in the world are people that expect you to hear about their dreams. So I would like you to meet me that person because it was so topical, and I'll tell you why. As part of my work avoidance, I've gone on deep darts. You know you're going to dita on how you end up. It's so horrible, it's so horrible.
I'm taking an interest.
I know your something. I don't have your I don't have your work ethic, which is amazing. In fact, I'm going to say too much. Your work ethic is. You need to calm down, right, because you make those of us who are procrastinators feel bad about ourselves, and.
This is just what helps what meds Hello baer getting ship done.
I had gone on a deep dive of people fighting, having fights on cruise ships.
Oh, it's so great the love boat, let me tell you. And I confessed confessed on the buck Up a few weeks ago. I have dabbled in cruise ship gigs because the money is fantastic and the people that run it excellent, and it's a very genuine lovely time. However, this does not surprise me every time I see footage. Yeah, see the news article. Cruisers are the jet styles of the seas.
And in the dream this is so topical.
This just before you fall asleep, you were waiting people punch on on kind of.
Cruise ship that's on a cruise ship. I passed out. Truth be told, it wasn't nighttime. I was having a secret nap because you know, my husband's been teaching and he's out of the house all day and it's so blissful soul. I love it isn't it, jiltree, It's just heaven. Although two children came in my room, I know they are and they both want, you know what they see. Both of them. Where's the independently of each other? What are you all right? Anyway? So I had so really it was a day dream, but I was asleep.
Kids were worried about your health.
I must have been anyway, So I Okame, you haven't touched your Your breakfast cake is untouched. So I had a dream that I was with a group of people on a cruise. For some reason, we're wheeling out a big trolley full of our luggage. I don't know where all the staff were. So there I am pulling my own with some people I can't remember, Hell on Earth. And we walked a big table of cake, different cakes, run different cakes. Breakfast was still on, and I'm like, oh, I really, I know we haven't got to our room yet, but I really feel like a piece of cake. And the cakes looked great. They looked you know, like how a homemade cakes got a nice crust on top.
What you want, you don't get it.
If you make it from a box. I will always know you just don't get that beautiful fresh crust. Anyway, So I was like, I feel like a piece of cake. And Prince Harry, who was with me, came over and I said, but for some reason. I had to hop on to the other side of the counter, and he said, and I had to write this down when I woke up, just to get it right, he said. Prince Harry said, I'll whoop you. Gave me a leg over to the other side. So he put his hands out and I put my footnote and you know how you use it to propel yourself, like over a fence. And my question is is that a real expression? I'll whoop you, I'll whoop you, I'll whoop you, I'll whoop you. And it was so great. And you know what else?
I like, oh whoop you? Hear people in a dream?
I don't know. I wrote it down as soon as I woke up because it was so fantastic. A cake b cruise. Prince Harry.
Was there sexual tension going on? I don't think so.
But we really liked each other and I liked him, which I found reassuring because it's been very hard to like him lately.
Like him? Do you you have issues with the wife? I don't think there's any wrong with him.
You have issues with the wife? I loved the wife. I love the wife. Do you know what people take the wrong view of people? That they don't like in the public. Do you know what? What if you just slightly reoriented? So people are always like they want to hate, to hate.
You hate?
Who? Do I hate his wife? No? I don't hate her.
You're jealous given her.
He didn't give her a woop. He gave me a wook.
Have you heard the dream theory that they don't think anyone ever dreams about their phone? Have you ever had a dream? I think I've heard this, But checking your phone doesn't happen in dreams. M can't tell you something depressing.
What I don't think I ever dream?
Oh?
I really dream. I don't think you need to take meloton And my husband can't take melotonin because he said it gives you a bad dreams.
I don't I've I've had malotonin.
I didn't give you dreams.
I think I dream. I love.
I don't dream very often. Did you dream occasionally? And I love it when I do?
Yeah, show me, let's look into that. Why don't I dream?
Oh's but maybe because you're Maybe because your waking life is so vivid and stimulated that when you're asleep, everyone's just like, Oh, praise be, He's just out like a light you know, it's like people who have a border Collie.
You know when someone says something and you're not too sure if it means it's a good thing or not. Your friend Georgie, who was in the green room at Sam Payne show because that show yes, said to me today, Oh yes, And I was just just saw you in the green room and you were just you're just like an energizer. Bunny, you just didn't stop an over thing, and then I walked off with me. Is that.
She has great energizer? But Bunny and her boyfriend.
You didn't stop. No, I don't know if it's a good thing.
And you know what, you never will and you know when you'll find out.
I want to dream, Kate, what when you finally stop?
Rip? When you finally stop.
Will I dream? Then? No?
People will say so many beautiful things about you.
My tombstone is going to read he never stopped until he did, And then your tombstone is going to read gone to early because of cake for breakfast.
Will we be next to each other? Absolutely not.
I'm not getting buried.
I want to be you know you're not going to be flaming.
Yeah, I want ashes. I want to be scattered. I want to be everywhere like I was in life. I want to be all over the plane.
Where would you like to be scattered?
Yeah, I haven't thought that through because people say things like the ocean or you go at the end of a pier. I'm like, why would you take me to a place that I would hate for all eternity?
Well, right, we know the answer. What revenge? I mean, what would you like? Sash?
I would like to be buried.
I'd like to be buried too, But.
I still want a plaque so my name's there so people don't forget you know.
What, cromation plarques don't have the same you're plenty flowers.
You don't have the same drama, and I know they've done it.
Yes, they don't have the same gravitas, which I'm sure comes from the word grave. I think it tipity tap.
Wouldn't it come from like gravity?
About like a gravity grave I imagine comes from the same route as gravity. I can dam it.
Do you visit cemeteries?
Yes, you do, not very often, not very often. And in fact, when my beautiful dad he was in lockdown and we didn't get a gravestone done for him and there's so many decisions to make with a gravestone, what's it going to say? And we just never could come up with the right thing. The one thing that we wanted to put was he would always say, and it always made us laugh, and we still sat. Now, my father could detect a draft from that's called five hundred meters anywhere on a property, right, be his there, window open somewhere, I can feel a draft, right. And he would always say, the Dutch have a saying a draft can kill. And so we were going to put on his tombstone, on his gravestone, yarn Langbrook, a draft can kill, right, which we loved, we loved. I don't think I might still do it because we're done. He's out at I think he's at in Necropolis, study of the Dutch. He's out there. I mean I know where he is. I just don't know what it's called. But he's got they've just put up a cross of a mirror cross that actually looks quite.
Beautiful, a mirror cross on wood.
But it's often when we go out there, it's a bit lopsided. And he's got some lovely neighbors, a Chinese guy, a German, I don't know how that's working out.
But this is Australia, yep, it is. They all look the same, great zones.
I meant, I mean what, oh, but what about gravitas. Gravitas is a Latin word that means weight or heaviness.
I think I was more right.
I think he were because it says a figurative weight, something primarily scientific.
I'm really right, that was extraordinary.
That's what we're going to put on your grade once. He was right.
Really, when you watch me on the ABC's news show House of Games in a couple of weeks, you will genuinely be shocked at how bad I went on that game.
I don't think I will be so.
I am smart in different ways, Kate. I'm not good with shapes and colors and wars.
Right, concepts.
Concepts not for me?
All right now, right on the agenda of what this show. Sorry, we're starting, we have we're starting the show.
Okay, how far into it are we stash? Now, my husband has a new toy. He has a toy and it's not me, Kate, not me. Oh wow, whoa it comes. There comes a time in a man's life when I feel like he is old enough and wise enough and bored enough to make this purchase.
Can I guess?
And it's going to happen to every man that we know at a certain age.
Shall we guess? Is it something mechanical ish? Is Is it a lawn mower? No? Okay, it's not a jet ski No, I love it.
If he got a jet scare, he would.
Actually, you know what jet skis are? What are brilliant for the person that's on it, and hell for every other person. But just I have a vision of myself being like Rihanna, you know those pictures of her on a jet skime. Well, I love it. Okay, so it's not I give up.
He has purchased and installed a home security camera. Oh, it has finally happened, and watches it all the time. We're sixty hello, ak, we're bored boomers. He watches it all the time, but it activates obviously when something happens. Yeah, then he has you're already the app. He gets the notification on the app, he can watch the notification. Then he can do many things. He can cross live to the camera and continue watching. He can press a button and speak to you through the camera.
Oh, that's how you frightened burglars.
Well, he said some very naughty water of property. He said some very naughty words to me the other day when I was coming home.
Why because he disturbed him? No, he wasn't.
He got a notifications overseas and he was Washington.
What did he say to you?
I can't repeat it?
Oh? Was it fun?
Fun? But very bad words?
Kids?
You can't say those words. Absolutely not.
It wasn't.
So he's just moving it here, moving it there. Hang on, I got to go back out, doesn't I the angle? Checking this? Checking that? Checking that? Okay? So I came home the other day and may of a little slip, a little slip because I had the dog.
You forgot to lock the door.
No I slipped literally physically, I had a little slip. No I didn't. It didn't pick it up too much. But of course he gets the notification sent to his phone. I get the screen cap having fun there, mate, like is this my life? Now? Is this my life?
All right?
But do you know what the final straw was for him? Where he went this isn't we're getting this camera? When my jars were stolen? Oh?
He needed security? Were they stolen from the porch? That was stolen from your car.
You can see that because we don't have a driveway. That's one of those townhouse places where you know fence then the street so you can see the car.
You know what, I just realized, I've never been to your hand.
I've invited you many times, and you actually go, We'll go back to the records.
You don't believe a Sama. She just told you straight.
We were talking about our dogs and you said you don't come over, and I said, because you live too far in the parking and I said you could come to mine, and you went, I.
Don't consider that a real invitation. Yeah, I do recall that comment.
And when you come over, Cody will be watching when you walk in the gate, and when you knock, why.
Don't we brank him? And oh my goodness, pretend to steal. We pretend we're porch pirates, which Megan referred to in her Yeah with hoodies porch pirates. Never heard that one before. She said, So there we go.
Maybe something's going to happen. Maybe in a few buck Up episodes, I'll have some footage.
Oh I love it.
But he has never ignored me more.
He is on that thing day and night in his defense, save me attention. We well, you need to do something on the porch, and he'll pay you attention.
Yeah, that's what I'll do.
Take a dumb on the front.
Law.
But this fun, flirtatious frolicking on the camera.
Hey, b guy, you know, go out there with a little towel on after a show, this little thing.
A little flishity flash.
Come on, Why wouldn't you because I have Yeah, all right, leave it with.
Me, all right. So we have one at the front of our house, which I think Peter put in when we moved in. I think similar because cars kept getting broken into or whatever. And you know, there's a lot of crackheads in our area, right, not so many in our street now is where we used to live, but still it's killed us, so, you know, gnarly. And you know who's obsessed with it in our house.
The sons or the daughter.
My daughter, she's obs with what she watches the Apple. I literally wouldn't even know how to watch it. She watches it all the time. And she's always been the town crier ever since she was She's always like, where did you get that from? Luis? Did eat the last cookie? You know that sort of thing.
I would love our buckheads listening to message your Instagram if their camera has found.
Something, because they're everywhere now they're everywhere.
I want someone to say, yeah and we saw someone.
This, Oh yeah, that's really good. I want to do it, Sash, I.
Just said, contact us Instagram.
Instagram kicking might have changed.
Do you swear words, because then it gets I think it gets barred. Yeah, if you write, I know, but if they're hey, I love your pod, I think it goes to some weird folded.
With face that they're very unlikely to say that. So this is my lemma, and I don't know where it stands. You're very good at returning things that you have bought yep, And as we know, I am not. So I don't return anything that I bought online. I don't think I ever have successfully.
But I also told you that time that someone told me that what I return doesn't even go back, just go straight to landfilm.
Don't think about that. Don't think about that. Sad, but that just regifted to people won't stop me doing it. I actually think it goes overseas and it ends up in March.
But landfill over there out of mind, give me my money back.
All right. What I'm quite good at, it's a relative concept, is returning things that I bought in the flesh. So I'm often like old, keep that receipt. Well, it's the only hope I've got. I can't get to a post office, I can't repackage something.
Are you returning? If you've physically held something and seen it and touched it, why would you be returning it?
It's not the right size?
Did you try it? You're in the shop.
No, Sometimes I've got something for Peter. Let's face it. I don't really return things. I just don't need so much trouble. But sometimes my girlfriend Alice will say, who say something?
I asked two questions and you crumble? It would be so bad at a crime.
Do you think the the cops would get you in that room, get me?
You know why crumble?
I just I'd lose interest. Even the truth is always better than a made up story.
And pass Codey's camera's got you on footage doing it.
I'm caught one hundred percent. But this is my dilemma. I know, in principle, if you've got a receipt, you can return things. This is my question to you and buckwets. Can I return a pineapple? Can I return a pineapple?
How many days old?
No? No, don't ask how old is? It's wrong with it?
Okay? What was wrong with it?
They sold me an unripe pineapple and they charge eight dollars for it, and I just was like this, Okay, let me set the context for you.
I will say that I think ripe is in the eye of the beholder. I brought it in.
Who's to say some of these pineapple but who's to say it what's ripe?
Well?
I don't think the idea is that when you bite into a pineapple, your face puckers like one of the greyhounds in the at the Dish liquors when they used to try and make them run fast. Denko rub ready to go take the turn tonight, all yours. They're charging eight dollars for a pineapple.
Out of all of the fruits that you squeeze and poke and prod and finger to figure out nearly impossible. Who the hell knows what they're doing with the pineapple?
Okay, I do know, because I'm a Queenslander. But they made it impossible. So you know, the rough end of the pineapple. Yeah, we do you've had a few times. Yeah, you know that expression.
I do. I don't know in regards to what you're meant. Oh life, all right, so you're doing some sex thing Cody and I have filmed on the camera out the frond.
Okay. So if you have a pineapple that's intact, then you can pull one of the spines out of the headdress.
Do not know this.
And if it pulls out easily, then it's ripe. The other way you can tell is with smell with pineapple. But because they've been picked so unripe. Also, they sold me the pineapple denuded. I'm going to show it to you. I brought it in. Also, since here on Google, pineapples do not ripen after being picked.
Why we're being sold a lot?
Cook us up? Okay, Now this pineapple, I had no chance with it.
It smells like cordial in like not right.
It's just anyway, I gotta be in my bonnet, and I'll tell you why this wasn't from a Stuba market. It was a Stuba market. I wouldn't return it there either, but I would know that they would take it back. Although once I tried to return sushi to Woolworths that was a terrible.
What you get for buying sushi at all?
Correct? Correct with so humiliating.
Actually the some wall is now that have the sushi man in there making it, that's as bad as the just the one. I love that from the one near the croissants.
And he'll always give you extra pickle ginger. But they're very stingy with it in the pre packs anyway. But this was from one of those overpriced free veggie shops, which I love. It's a beautiful shop.
There is a taste difference that's not one hundred percent, well not this particular item.
Well, there was a taste difference, mouth puckeringly unripe. Was the taste different.
If you walk into that shop, yes, and say I'm returning this because it doesn't taste right or it's not ripe. It is the end of this pot.
Okay, I'm going to do that.
I can't be doing a podcast.
With someone who returns pineapple.
Why an't you calling AM radio about this?
I just need to answer, can I return it or nose? Do we want? No?
I was kidding. Go on in tomorrow, please and please report, but.
I can't go back to winnesday.
Well that's insanity. Hi, this pineapple I bought fresh to eat seven days ago isn't.
Good seventeen But that doesn't matter. I've kept it to return to them. What do they think that I'm going out of my way?
Do you remember like ten fifteen years ago where pineapple things were a thing, decorations everyone had like.
And a girlfriend of ours was devastated because she'd always been into pineapple like fake when in maximum retail she was devo because it had taken her years to work on her vintage pineapple collection.
There is a particular girl that I know, but I know a lot of them, that has like a framed picture of like a fluo pineapples. Yeah, painting, is that Andy Warhol? No, it's not a specific one. It's like just in general.
Anything we say today, She googles.
I love it.
I love it. You were having a go at me last week that I don't do anything. No, well you don't.
Hello to the pineapple decorations still.
And remember before that, before that, and this was the era.
I've got another one as well.
Okay, you remember what was that acually came offspring? Offspring?
Huh huh?
Was it offspring? The owls?
The owl the owl, the owls.
Because she collected owls. I have always that secret life of us. Maybe maybe a secret li for that when you're I think, actually, Kitty collected owls.
So I'm forty Google back, google that forty one.
Right, Just every time you say it's a shock to me.
Whatever, I'm saying that because fresh face. All the girls that I grew up with went through particular phases, and I always remember them. Here's some other ones I remember.
Dream catches, dream, dream catches, dream?
Why did women have dream catches?
Because we have dreams? We need to Prince Harry giving in some warps?
All right, So DreamCatcher phase happened to a lot of girls I know.
And it still does. I defy anyone to go to Ballei and not be suckered in by one of the giant white cotton ones. You know, girls, we've always all got a white cotton or linen fantasy. We've got a fantasy that we're gonna have white sheets.
Yes all that?
What is that?
That's just scribbled white plus wicker?
Oh? Yes? Yes, what's with this hospital.
Braid white lounge? I don't know. Everywhere girls of a certain age, my age, I've got one more fact.
Yeah, a girlfriend of mine was going to come down the beach with us, and I realized I could never invite her because I heard her say one day, I can only sleep on white sheets and use a white towel. And I I have literally not had white sheets since I first put them on the bed.
Who is responsible for this whiteness? It's something that the aesthetic of white. The girls just aspire too.
It's very hotel is luxury is I think that's why we.
Like cream, white, gray wicker.
Yeah, I don't like it. Give me some color, please, I will, As you know, I'm a color person.
Pop the color.
Yeah.
And do you remember this as well? Flamingos, Oh, FLAMI was a real flamingo thing going on for a while. People had inflatable flamingos of their laund room. We still do, do they?
People have I guarantee if you have a flamingo in your front yard, it'll get stolen old people.
They're bad, Yeah, no, they just.
It's just very attractive to people.
Of put a flamingo at the front of our house with our camera, which also hangs off the camera is a dream catcher.
Yes, of course, get a Is that next to the rubber catcher. The framed pineapple picture, isn't it? I think I've seen it.
I love this, Please take it back.
And if you've got a line's head door knocker, by the way, is a perennial that never goes out.
Of I don't remember that one.
We've got that?
What's that?
A line's head brass door knocker shap like a lion's head.
All I remember from your house tour that you gave me. One was the insane pool upstairs that defied sign that leaks and has kills possums too. You kill a pool, you kill a pool. Your upstairs bathroom had a thing in it that anyone that knows anything about you, anyone listening to our pod, would go, of course, and they would expect that from you, which was this very gold Oh yes, swan, swan tap yes, so the tap nozzle is a swan. Let's not tell them how much it was, because when you told me, I had to process.
No no, but that one wasn't because my husband bought it off. It'sy Yeah, the original was worth how much? I can't remember that.
You said it was like fifteenth grand or something.
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, oh no, no, sure, no, no, but it was expensive.
It was probably like so anyone listening knows that. Yeah, of course you have a tap that's a swan.
It's stunning.
I'll take a photo of it. And the water comes out of this I forgot that.
That doesn't look normal.
It's not normal. But someone has a gigantic very.
And I'll tell you what is on this one that wasn't on our last one. Is when you go to turn the taps on, the taps are it's wings, little wings, So you flip the wings there when I was there, Yeah, you wouldn't have noticed it. They're only small.
A lot of who ha.
Why wouldn't you have who in your bathroom? That's a good point with bathroom, I believe. All right, can I proffer you.
Better than you're doing? You want carp in there? Makes me physically sick.
Okay, never carpet in the bathroom or the kitchen.
Thank you. But you can have a rug sure, all right.
You know how you were talking before about the lack of color and women loving white and blah blah blah, And you know I've got to be in my bonnet about the beigification of the world.
Yes, we've spoken about abouts of color. We've spoken about this week's ago, and we used McDonald's as the example. All markers now were gray yeah and black yeah.
Correct, And they've got that if you're lucky, if you get a bit of fake wood paneling. All right. But I believe in your life that there are two rooms that should have feminine energy.
Right the bathroom, yes, and the kitchen. The bedroom, okay, bedroom the kitchen. Hello, Hello women, and we're joined today by Tony Abbotts.
No, the bedroom and a lot of women and my girlfriends. I had this conversation with him where they're like, you're going to put that because hind like me. I'm like, well, he is in there too, yeah, but he but men don't feel the same way about Dallo's. So I think for a relationship, it's very nice when you come into a when he comes into a space, he's coming into a feminine space, and then he can be a man in a feminine space. It seems more masculine. But why am I going to walk into a room like a like a mirror or a.
Plasmic remote foul and gray?
You can jam your gray anyway. That's just my theory because I like it. It's feminine energy is sensual energy. I don't want hard masculine, but I want it in contrast to my own softness.
You don't want any links Africa anywhere near your bathroom.
And he's the rough end of the pineapple.
It's you know we ran. Cody made a very good point the other day, in his polite way, basically said, when we eventually do have a place of our own and actually buy and have the job of painting and decorating, He's like, we we will divorce, and he probably will. I don't know. He doesn't have one. He just hates everything I like. But what do you like at a bit of color?
But when I say colors, color.
When I say color, I think people think like, oh on a fluo yellow wall. People I like just what I'd like to be stimulated. And I said to him, well, the more boring the house, the moral nor you for stimulation.
So does he not like the stimulation.
Well, he's from the Gold Coast and he's grown up in color. No, they don't. They like white, cold white tiles, wicker, very white summary, all the doors are open. You know what I'm talking can kill a draft can kill our marriage, and it will. So we'll see if we eventually get ours.
Oh, I can't wait till you're decorating and we have to have the most tiresome conversations about tiles files.
Tis going. I don't want tiles.
What are you gonna have in your bathroom? Mate? Oh?
Yeah, all right, Well maybe I have time. I want to There's this thing I want to get. It's a swan and it's a tap.
Oh my god, where did you get that? That sounds amazing?
And it's got do you know why what?
I hope you're sure about it, because if you order it and it arrives, you cannot return it. In fact, we've got a tiny basin that my husband also ordered from Etsy. That was when it arrived, it was like for a doll's house and it was too tiny. We've still got it. It's in his study. Would anyone like it? I remember sort of a Moroccan pattern. It's enamels.
I bought a couch online once never again, years and years and years ago, and it was so small we gave it to the dog. Like the couch was so small that were like dog couch, and I think even wied to my husband and said, I bought it for the dogged.
You didn't, you bought it for humans.
It was tiny.
It's a verdict.
Please take it back because everyone wants to know what actually.
Going to happen to hang on.
My next question is this before we wrap up with textro mum. Is it's not like some cute, old, old Italian couple that run this fruit shop?
Is it this series? It's the whitest shop you will ever set foot, rich inner city white people in a beautiful shop.
Take them down.
No, I'm not going to take them down. I just I just want to say to them, I feel uncomfortable about this. This is what I'll say.
I feel uncomfortable.
I feel uncomfortable about it. But I really think that you've sold me an pineapple and there's no reason for it because your whole field of expertise is f and V.
But Sasha's drop the bomb that there's no such thing as a ripe pineapple. It is what it is when it gets taken out.
Of the when they go to the market. What's right? So my other fruit and vege guy at the Pran market, Lady Johnny, we love him. He's always like, this is the sweetest. These are the best. His fruit and vege is unbelievable. I'm not on board with this. I'm not on board with buying an unripe sour mouth.
Puckering wraps from It's a text so passionate.
I've got it. Thank you, Kenneth.
This is from Kenneth Buckhead. Kenneth Kenneth is a buckhead.
This is from his mom.
Well, that's the segment, and.
I think his mummy is what could only be described as a piece of work. Oh, I love it, and there's some classic he'd fit in here. Your sister ca it's going out and has many different men like a tramp burn. She needs to calm down, she does did you hear that she lost her job again? Anyway? What do I know? She doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did.
A text from what could she possibly have done? Got a few suggestions?
What could she possibly have done?
She needs to go and buy her a pineapple and talk it out?
Whitch end of it got unbucked?
Was so good that I need a cigarette?
Have it on the pool.
I tried to when I was young. I just vomited.
Oh god, I've got to find out who made this brilliant? The buck Up Podcast is hosted by me Kate Lanebrook and him Nathanvalvo. It's produced by the brilliant Sasha French Audio and sadound by the magnificent Yack Lawrence you might call him Jack. And Tom Evans, Oh we're lucky.
