@thebuckuppodcast
@katelangbroek
@nathvalvo
Our money back guarantee is that you're going to feel better at the end of this podcast than you did at the beginning.
Imagine, if you will, that you are in a place of great beauty. Some teenage boys walk past you, they yell out, hey, bitch tits.
The world you see is a.
Place of paradox of beauty and cruelty. It will cut you off at the knees then gift.
You a pair of easies.
And that, my friends, is why you always always need.
A buck up about it. Bad, a bad, bad.
Bad decide you were going to do that, I.
Just I thought, that's perfect time. I'll unzip my jacket.
And zip the jacket. Out came the girls.
And revealed the schemes. It's actually not scheme. It's actually a Skim's knockoff that I ordered it three m Yeah, it's not even called Skims. Scott her name on it. It's got no label.
Hello Ky Lane Brook, Oh, Nate Valve. We've always thought about the Skims thing with Kim k Did she really invent a tight bit of clothing to go under clothing?
No, she became a billionaire for it because before that they had spanks. We can't talk about spanks without talking about the person who needs them more than anybody else. Best producer in the world.
I had no idea where that was going.
The reason that I say that is, of course we know that Sash's nat is a pin.
Doesn't need no spanks.
She needs they spanky.
Yeah.
Well she told me she was a nudist last week or the week before. Shocking, surprising, very surprising. Bracy nudes are always uncle and producers.
Yes, apparently so hey, so I think spanks. Yes, By the way, the best thing ever happened to her who Kim Kardash Yes, when she first remember it was going to be called kimono, did not know that, And remember there was all this backlash for her range because it was cultural appropriation, right.
Snooze first, it's also a bad name.
And then she came up with skins, which is so much better.
It's way better, Yes, but explain what the difference between skins and.
Before that there was spanks and they were all really hard, and they were like they had big thick elastic bands and getting into them was nearly impossible, and they were flesh colored or just black. They were just heavy.
The point though, bring it all in, No, but.
So she invented this to use this material and just to make them like a bit make great undies. I'm Sash is a fan of their g strings.
That you sleep they swam this year, every episode of the buck Up, we're just finding more and more out about my horny producers.
Correct, because she's a New Zealander. And years ago when Peter was working as an engineer, so long, long time ago, and I first started working with Sasha, and Sash was just a racy little unit always has been. And one of the guys who worked with Peter. Oh, you couldn't make this comment now, but at the time it really made us laugh. We were outside with the smokers, always the best people, and he said he was a great guy, one of those weird dry guysmokers who may well be ripped now because he couldn't imagine him being long for this one because he was such a brilliant character.
Now he's vaping, young guy.
Okay, anyway, and he goes we were talking about Sash for some reason, her name. I think he listened to the show and he goes, ah, he goes, New Zealanders tap him on the head and their pants fall down.
Just what a line. Brilliant and and you're very small, very easy to do.
That's right. She's just delightful, delight.
Well who you are in your skims.
Here, I am my skims knockoff.
You look excellent again.
A sign of success that you've been good enough at what you do for someone to steal from you, which happens to comedians all the time.
Happens to me stealing your ideas. Yeah, because I've got your book coming out next year?
Is it a romance?
I'm going to Italy with.
A lockdown.
It's god how to become a cooker. Speaking of the Kardashians, Oh my god, you know it's my favorite thing to do. Have you seen Chris Jana's new face? It is the best world I have seen since Loewen.
Where are they getting?
This? Must be the same guy. Okay, I've got Lindsay Lowan's new face. We've got Thingo's new face. Anne Hathaway, Yeah, we've got Chris Jenner.
And Hathaway's face wasn't good because you shouldn't look at it and go new face. Yeah.
Well, Christianny are half through because she's one hundred and now she looks younger than all of them.
So okay, I'm going to breathe you scene the Queen of new faces, Martha Stewart, Oh, unbelievable. Well, I saw it ninety but I didn't blow it up, so I haven't seen it.
Really creepy thing about Chris Jennery is and I'm all for it, but it's creepy. She clearly goes in with a photo of Kim and says, make me look like my daughter. You can tell.
But also she was the one who orchestrated the deal for her daughter's sex tape.
Yeah, so, I mean so she could have her face, say that.
Going in and want of her faces. The creepiest thing about her that personally has a mother, has a mother. That's not the top of my list.
Great new face, christ Jenna, Wow, show me, show me if someone knows who did it, I haven't had a good look. Send it over to the fucker.
Oh it's amazing, isn't it.
So Well, they've got nothing else to do. They're billionaires and they've got very busy. You've got nothing else to do except look good.
Yeah, but they do a lot of meetings. They have a lot of meetings, they plan a lot of parties.
Do you reckon?
Yeah? So she looks like Kim. Oh my goodness, what yeah?
Right?
What?
Uh huh?
That's heavily airbrush.
I will show you the buddy, I said, cold. We have such pitches. Someone showed me and I went, I need footage. Oh my perfect goodness, perfect google it. Christiana's new face.
I need a new face.
No you don't.
Yeah, because I can no longer show my face in the pineapple shop.
I'm going to get you made a balaclava a little with some little pineapples embroidered on it. I have gone away and made a new sound effect for our podcast. And this is inspired by you. And next time you tell a story about the pineapple or something similar, we're just going to play what I'm calling the am radio sound. We have Kate Laine Brook on the line. Kate take us away with the pineapple voice.
With that, do you do you want to return a pineapple?
I say yes?
Did you get a sour orange and your suck for Christmas? With the lumber cal You know that voice? You know that nineteen thirties voice. I can't anything that sounds pineapple ish?
Hello over there? Do you wish to return your pineapple? Ma'am?
That's it?
That's the voice to improv.
Can you add to that next time?
So you're not happy with what I did.
No, I love it. The music's perfect.
You want to create a voice. You want to Christiana that you want.
Me to yeah, children to be a bit more Kim Okay, yeah, I'll do it, and a bit less Carmie.
This is a creative relationship and I've taken you your feedback.
I was so going to say something then about I really I sensed myself. Oh talking about Carmie.
Oh, yes, that's what he doesn't sense. So so why should you? Did you hear the name of his new song that you released last week?
Is that I'm not saying the guy that you look like it's the guy?
Two things about our faces. Two things if you're new about pod Kate can't go into a fruit shop because you returned to pine Apple, and I can't go anywhere because I look like Hitler.
But you do, and you know you do. And one day you all of a sudden, at the live show, our first ever live show, you've.
Realized there in the moment, yes, that you think, could.
You know what it's disturbing about this little man? Is it the fact that he's carrying an easel?
What was I carrying?
He was an artist?
Oh? Was he?
Or he was, but still by his paintings, and in fact, I think I think they're a pretty solid investment. Yeah, I mean, yeah, sure and quite frankly, and I know people you know, this is always the conversation that people have. Can you separate the artists from the art?
I will say, I think with Hitler, yes.
I think, I think probably you're right, And yeah, people haven't because this is my thing about separating the artists from the art. If you, you know, ban someone because you don't like their politics or you don't like.
Him, Jay is the one, the true one I struggle.
With, right And will I tell you why you don't ban the artist?
Tell me why, because Smooth Criminal is my favorite song.
Of all time. Because if you ban the artist, then you've got nothing, and you've got a negative because all you've got is this person who is accused of doing these really terrible things. You've got a soul deficit. Whereas you can cancel the person but still enjoy their art, and then you've got a.
That's you don't have to we are pro.
Goodness. One day they're going to isolate that. It's no three SIPs, no the take off, the cal away.
A man can't even have three SIPs and say broke this country anymore?
This country anyway? Pineapples, pineapples anyway, the worst, the lowest, deep.
Yeah, but we know how it ended. But what we want to do very quickly. Some people reached out about actually quite a.
Lot, a lot of there was a lot of.
Thing dms, a couple of commons feedback and what's the general take, Kate.
Well, generally, I'm boyed. I'm actually saying this could be a political movement because this is there's a great there's a feeling that people in this country are not being spoken for.
A couple of weeks in politics. Kate, this is good.
This is I see a gap and and like Sash has offered to suitors in the past, it's ready to be filled. Sorry, that was a bit much, wasn't it. I approve of it.
We're going to come over and tap you on the head.
But anyway, but people have returned stuff fruit, pineapple. Antigony. That's a great name, right name, that's so I'm going to say, that's so Greek. I was in a play called Antigony, not that I want to make.
It about me, Like what was it about? A big drama about someone returning.
Return the pineapple cate. My parents returned to watermelon. That wasn't wrong, and they got their money back. Hot cakes from McDonald's mind you. The day after don't even try. My dad misordered for my nephew ended up with ten extra pancakes. Let me tell you we were forced to eat them for days.
Oh that sounds like owl. Oh no Macas hotcakes?
And also what pussy they can't eat? I could eat ten pancakes in a sitting and still I still be hungry. Can't eat?
Oka say something about the hot game.
You touch the sun.
This bike head that's metioning you this, These pike head's got a point. What is it about hotcakes from Macas? They are delicious? Delicious instantly, yes, but then minutes later they're not.
They're not made to be eaten. Weeks later, they're not archaeological remnants.
I'm talking minutes later.
Yeah, stiff, they go change. Maybe I think they've been you know when things have been micro waves, like I give ever microwaved burrito about me looking you and you.
Look so serious in your life.
But also I could see your mind your mind. Are you medicated or un tonight?
I don't know, it's up to figure it out.
I can see when your mind is racing and you're trying to guess what I'm going to come up, What example I'm going to give When you've ever microwave day and I can see your mind racing, you weren't expecting burrito.
I really was.
I don't think I was honest. But you know, straight away.
As soon as you say your microwaved a burrito, in a matter of seconds, everyone's figured out you've had a big night, you got on the piss, you got it from somewhere late.
No actual, I'm saying, the next day you're warming it. No, not the stuffed one you hungover. Not the stuffed one one. The ones in the packet just called burritos around this, I don't know what else to call them.
They're not burritos.
Yeah, they're burritos. Explain it to me, Yeah, burritos. The shell a soft taco. Okay, there's burritos, there's inchiladoes, there's all sorts of go.
Do something, because it's time sensitive. Many people contacting us about the pineapple, however, Yes, a friend of the pod. Yes, a buck up. We both love and respect who you do the project with.
Some time.
A buckwhit, who I've worked with many years, has something to say about about returning food.
Oh, let's call him Nick Cody. An ally an.
Ally an ally, Yes, he is an ally.
He's an ally ally.
You are?
You know?
I've always thought about you, Nick Cody. You look like someone that should bully me, but you don't.
It's true. He's very Also, you've got you look like you should be steering. You should be stealing a sheep. Really, somewhere far from a metropolitan.
City on a Sunday, lame is on a Wednesday.
Yes, your column a column bee, that's what your top on Friday, bottom on Sunday.
We call that verse.
I don't know if if I've ever told you this. The only people that slide into my dms are gay men asking me if I'm really married.
Oh really, because you're a beer, he's a bear.
I told you this many years ago, Nick, I said to you, and you seem shocked by it. I said, there's there are a lot of gays that really are into the Nick Cody. Hey, excuse me. It is good news for you because you know what gays do. They booked tickets, Yeah, they do.
And you know what they.
Travel in packs of fifteen.
Unlike in their relationships, in their adoration of public figures, they're faithful.
When there's a group of gay men together, it's called a gossip. It's a gossip up.
Look, there's so much we can learn on this pod. But you know where I you and I really saw, as the French would say, you to your Nick Cody was when we were discussing the now infamous scar on my soul.
My story of returning food is much sadder than Kate. Kate, correct, Kate was correct. Hang on what I hang on?
Hang on for correct, We're going to get a sound effect.
Correct.
Thanks Nick Cody, great for joining us.
Yeah. I try to return a roast chook.
Man, Okay it was not cooked enough.
Well, I got the roast chok home. It was one of those situations. I took past from veggies and everything from the kids, and then out of nowhere, Dad is their chicken with no chicken. Give me a minute. Shoot down to the local shop, nice, nice little supermarket, grab the roast chalk. Get home. I opened it up and I'm like, what's happening here? Did did this chicken grow up next to a nuclear power plant? This thing is off right. It just was wrong.
What was wrong about it?
It just looked wrong. I'm like, this doesn't look like a chicken. I'm a man that's eaten a lot of roast chalk. Yeah, I've eaten a lot of the you know, the bachelor's handbag they call it. I've had heaps of them, yeah, thousands. Yeah, this was just wrong. And I said, sorry, boys, I've got to take it back. I can't give you this. There's something wrong with this chicken. Rushed back to the supermarket, took it to the deli, showed the girl and said, ma'am, I'm so sorry, but this chicken. I don't know what's happened, but it's a disaster. I can't seed this for my kids. And she looked. She looked in the bag and said, yeah, mate, it's upside down, just in their glove pans. Turned it around in the bag.
And then did you take it home?
The same?
And it was delicious.
It was fantastic. You know what, I've never opened the bag to see it from that angle.
Well, did you know what's in there?
But now that Nick mentions it, when have you ever looked down before?
It's pretty No, no, it's not good.
So you walked home with your chicken. Kate went home with mandarin juice. Yeah.
Oh sorry, I forgot to bring that up. That was awful your story, Kate. It was like ray Gun. Remember everyone hated ray Gun. Yes, and I think everyone hated you at the like I'm returning a pineapple.
Yeah.
And then you get to the store and it was when Raygun started doing interviews and everyone loves her again. Everyone loved Raygun and we thought Langbrook spot on here, this person being very rude to were cakes correct? The pineapples off? And then you said it's all right, old Trader for Amanda Injoy And that was the start of the story where Raygun tried to see the comedian and everyone hated Raygun again. You had and you lost it.
And Nick before we let you go different Via, But I think we should plug your podcast as well.
Mid mid Flight fight.
Fights, Cody, now mid flight brawl, mid flight.
But why isn't it mid flight fight That's a good question. I love we love you, Nick Cady, and we're not just saying around top he dog.
We're not just saying that we love you because you said you love us.
For us.
It's not one of those relationships. I've always loved Nick Cody. I had Nick Cody perform at my gig the other week. It's how good was Nick Cody?
Nick Cady is brilliant.
If you're listening and you've never seen Nick Cody live, go see Nick Cody live, one of my favorite comics.
Thank you very much, Legends, and keep putting out this grab podcast. I'm going to clap myself out.
Yeah, we love Nick ba boom a bad a bad a bad bad bad bad beat.
But to the non Melbournians for the next two minutes, just hang with us. We'll come back to you in a minute. But we have to say the thing that, for some reason, every Victorian says it around May June every year it.
Is so cold. It's so cold. All right, Now, you seem to think that this is unre What time do you get up in the morning?
Some thirty?
Yeah, okay, So I go to a boot camp. That's how I keep this rig time.
Man.
So I go what what? No?
You said, Well, well, I was like, well you're also wearing skims.
Oh yeah, that also that also boot camp? All right, so that starts at six o'clock. I saw that look, you two exchange Stash's look. Was you got away with it?
Oh?
My godness?
Did sometimes?
You know?
Slashized relationship is like his little siblings at dinner and one of us says something sometimes and the other one.
You know what? It gave your way home? Look, that was what gate. You would have got away with it and I would have moved on. Come on, all right, we know boot camp is not working as well as it's short.
Why excuse me? That is not what.
Anyway? So I go to boot camp every morning, not every morning devastating things. Honestly, he'd have to get his money back once a week, no more than that. That's hurtful. What's wrong with me? I don't I'm not the same.
You're not the same.
I've got a deep I can't lie a scar.
This shop, this girl in the shop has shaken you. She's mad. There's a crack in the.
She whatever it really has, I don't like it like her? Why was she?
Was she done?
It was the thing at the end that got me. Anyway, let's not revisit it anyways, bootcat. This is so, and it's outside so suddenly it's the suddenness of the cold that's got people. It is overnight suddenness. It's overnight because last week I was I went on Friday morning, I was in a singlet and on Monday morning it was so cold I couldn't even take my jacket off. I normally don't even wear a jacket. And one of the women there, see it's two degree gross two degree.
Cody's sister lives out east and she did a screencap the other morning and it was negative for negative force.
She's a Queensland well.
Now no, now she's a Victorian.
Yeah, but she can't.
Yes, I get the point this fruit.
I've lost my capacity to be understood.
Speaking of being I know you go to boot camp, right, yes?
Yes?
Do you ever have that moment where exercise is forced upon you? It's unplanned and it proves to you just how unfit you are, like exactly what I thought I was. Okay, I move around you are you ing?
Nimble on stage?
That's nice? Nimble on stage? That's good enough. Isn't it a dog to deal with?
You can walk upstairs without puffy.
I walk up stairs. I don't smoke.
You don't smell. I don't and yet you're smoking.
Oh thank you. Kate the name of your nail polish you brought out many years ago, many years ago. At the airport the other day, surprise, surprise, I read the app wrong. Classic. Oh no, I'm at Gate four. Read it aboard and then they're saying Gate four boards and it's the nine thirty to to Woomba. Like, I don't remember my gig being in too Woomba. Yeah, I thought I was going to Brisbane right for the comedy Festival. Thank you to the buckheads that came and saw the last year. I looked down, I'm like, oh my god, that's the boarding number. Introduced boarding numbers. They printed on the boarding numbers. You can't board into your number of numbers called that's absolutely chaos.
They're shipping it literally cattle class now chaos.
Apparently they're doing it from the back to the front. So if you don't whatever, whatever, I look take care. I wish I did, because I thould have had access to a those cars.
I had people in those cars.
My plane was boarding and I was on Gate four and you had to be Gate twenties four or something. For those of you who know Melbourne Airport, the other proper other side. No, I will die of embarrassment. If there is footage of this release would.
Be running airports are all camera running with the little backpack had some things. Well you did have a roll away, no, because that would have made it perfect. It would have been because that sort of bounces.
You know. I'll be honest with you. If I had my little luggage with the wheels, I would have just been okay with missing the fly. I'm not running with that. But I ran i ran I, ran I arrived there that whole layer. It's okay, it's okay. It was the last one all the who It took me the flight to Brisbane to Recha two hours half the flight. I was not right. My chat was petty.
I was.
I was like, with's someone next to you?
You know what? On the way up, there wasn't dream dream resolves.
Because otherwise they you would have had to try and regulate you.
I have spoken to Cody, but it I have now come to peace with I need to like get a PT or something, because I shouldn't be that unfit. So O, Kate, I cannot tell you how hell you know what? How much pain was here?
Your attitude is wrong.
The next day you may next day I woke up in my hotel room and my calves hurt. I had stiff calves from running to an airport gate. So maybe I will come join you.
But you really had to bolt.
I have to run.
What time did to you before six am?
Six?
But they do six and then they do nine. But I think nine is for mums who've just done the school drop off, I'd say, and dads. I guarantee there's none of them there, and that that group's a bit different. I think I shouldn't have used that, for that's a terrible.
A weird voice. But you know, a comedian once said to me, the really good thing about my job is our own hours and all the things that we work on. We kind of call the shots when we want to do the stuff. They said, you can go to the gym at Grandma hours. So if you go to the like eleven midday one, there's no one there except the elderly. Everyone dance do that, well, apparent some comedian doesn't do. So maybe I should do a weight class.
Exercise is very good. I'm not saying it's easy, like I've spent my whole life like doing nothing. Sash is amazing.
I hate it.
Everyone hates it. But here's the thing. I'm going to say something to you. Then I said to my daughter, here we go. Stop waiting to like it.
Oh god, that's good.
Stop waiting. That's a rag.
God that's good.
Stop waiting to like it. Why would you like it?
Because I live for instant gratification.
Everyone does.
And a lot of the time when you start something, I'm bad at it at the start. Give up.
Everyone does. But you know what, that's a that's an absolute like path to ruination.
Remember I walked out of that acting class, joined that acting school, and in the first class they made me sit on this chair and do this weird thing. I never went behind.
Oh my goodness, I forgot about what.
Did they do? What happened? It was so humiliating that I literally never went back. And it was your fine apple. And then I emailed the school and said to the teacher, is it okay if I just used that money for some one on one sessions? And he said, of course. So I just moved out of the class.
Did you ever have the one on one session?
So he has had a great tip. He was like, and let's save them until you have an audition.
Because they had an audition well that was not.
I didn't need for it because it was just for And I didn't get that one either.
Maybe I did never you've never, you know.
Sometimes I get auditions scared. This is a showers little Showby's story for people listening. You get asked an audition for stuff, and then I read the script and think, this is never going to be me. Let's save you an hour travel, let's save me the self tape.
But sometimes they want to see you. They might think of you for something else I've got. Like, for instance, if they're casting a show and they like, oh, this character is so perverted, apparently he's pro then they're like, pull up that, They'll pull up your interview. This an interview, Yeah, your audition.
So I went to the acting school.
What did they make you do?
And so I arrived at this acting class. How many people fifteen of us? Eight of them give me that. Eight of them were the best looking people I've ever seen them are really fame. I was like, oh boy, they want to live.
And I'm like, well, light up the sky, run my name fame.
First class. Everyone's a bit nervy, and I was like, I'm I'm here to learn how to act how old give me a range, proper range.
There were some oldies. Yeah, I love an oldie in an acting couple of oldies.
Yeah. We had to stand in a circle. Yeah, which is already I hate if I'm standing in a circle of any kind and I'm already like, this is going to be hell.
Isn't it?
You know?
One of the biggest bad pagan one of my Yeah, one of.
My biggest fears in life is someone asking me in front of a group of people, what do you do for fun?
Oh? No, do us people?
Have you ever been to?
Like, no, what do you do for anyone?
Listening to our pod? That's like works for some sort of like.
Oh no, that's a terrible question thing.
Or you go away for a get to know being fun.
Yeah, I know that nothing makes you feel less fun than that.
Question what do you do for fun?
Not this, but also what I don't know? I mean, everything is fun?
What is fun?
Is it is fun?
Fun?
Well? Everything? We have fun with everything that we do.
So my worst nightmare is you're standing in a circle and someone throws you a little hacky sack.
And then pass it someone Yeah you know, Okay, you had to write to someone else and say their name.
For five others into Michael Jackson because I'm prop thank you to someone.
Else, okay, and say their name.
Bit of that humiliating, you know, every.
Time we say she's making a note, and which is quite right. They've all got to go and we've got to stop making Jack's life a night.
Mean, we've got to cut them out because the algorithm. So then the teacher puts this chair on the on the stage, a chair and nothing else, and then no instructions, no instructions, he just goes and sits down. And then the fifteen of us are all just left. We're just sitting there, standing, looking sitting. No one knows what to do. And then some brave person gets up for just walked and they sat on the chair.
Their footsteps had never sounded so loud.
And they just looked like were acting right by sitting on the chair and say anything. Complete silence.
I just looked at you all.
No, they were acting, so they weren't looking at.
Us, acting at the fourth wall.
Acting. All I could keep thinking of was out in the distance, in the very far distance, I could hear a tram ding, and what I would give to be.
On that tram and you don't like public trains, and so what happened it got to my turn. Were people just walking up in some sitting on one by one.
There wasn't even an order.
People just knew yeah, right to get up.
So I was last. Yeah, of course, and I go and I just was like, this is hell on earth. I sat on the chair and look at me clamming up thinking about it.
Oh yeah, it wasn't.
As bad as returning upon now anything. No, no one did.
Yeah, but you could the instructions. I sat, You're like a sheeple, just mindlessly following, following what the other.
And then we all got vaxed. Yeah. I sat did some acting. I think what, I don't know what idea? And then I stood up and then I walked back and then out of everyone, I was the only one. He said, do that again. I don't know what. You do it again?
Do it again?
What?
Because he loved it so at all?
Uncle?
What what? You walked on the stage and sat on a chair and he said, do it again? Were you doing your prancing and your maybe you would have had a slightly superior look on your face to mask your deep insecurity that you felt, you know how you do that, am I right.
Yeah, that's what it's about.
It might have been your character.
And then I sat down and in that moment, the second time I knew I was never ever stepping forward in this class ever. Again, he was the nicest person I've ever met.
But that's why he made you do it again.
So then he was said, acting, gather around, kids, if you want to learn how to act. All acting is is getting rid of everything that you carry already. The way you carry your shoulders, the way you move your eyes, the way you breathe, the way you bite your nails. It's all defense mechanism, and acting is you've got to learn how to just let go of all of it and just be. And you know what I don't want to do be?
No, No, you don't. You're just a collection of like immaculately curated and impeccably groomed defense mechanisms. And without them, there is no Nate Balfo. That is a ludicrous proposition. I don't know who he is. This Stanislast, You've nailed it.
That's everyone, though, it's absolutely everyone. And so they were very kind and he was lovely, like, yep, I'll work with you on an audition. You don't have to do that ever, So.
When people talk about masking, I'm so tired. I spend all day masking. Everybody spends all day masking. That's what living in society.
Do it again?
Do it again?
Being so bad at acting you can't even walk and sit down.
I'd love to have seen it act. I'd loved it. Maybe the live show, can you re enact it and we'll have absolute, stone cold silence from the audience.
Do you know who I'm going to invite it to our live show, The Girl from the Frog.
Imagine if she tries to return her ticket, do you know what I'd give her?
Ay money back for Amandarin Jews.
If you know what bend Over, pull a spine out of his ass and you'll see if he's right.
Let's talk about celebrities, celebrities, people that can act. Maybe you know.
Every now and then, I like to bad, bad, bad, bad bad.
Celebrity chit chat. I do like it.
We love it, but we like it. We like it to have been like a steak well rested.
This is actually pretty new wish for I don't want I don't happened last two weeks that frenzy No, it's pretty good.
What is that?
It made me laugh because I want to know what fight happened for this to be what was said in the fight?
Oh, okay, we love a feud.
Justin Bieber and his wife Haley Biber have they had a fart well in the past. Haley Bieber posts, Can I.
Just say something?
You may all right?
Hailey Bieber is obsessed with Selena Gomes.
Okay, Biber's X.
Yeah, Baber's X, and like it's just it's really And also there are those of us who like me who know I'm going to say less than nothing about these people who believe she's probably right to be. Don't you think Sage? Absolutely? I think Bieber's still hung up on Selena Gomes. I mean, even though I wrote that very cruel song, Oh my Mama don't like you and she likes everyone.
I don't think he wrote that about her. I don't think he wrote it.
He wrote it with someone wrote.
Great song.
I should have sung that on the chair Biber and Hailey Biber. Yeah, what's her name? What was her name before Biber? Oh? Thank you?
She's of the dime.
She's on the Vogue cover.
Are you huge?
Get really?
Who thought.
I don't know, maybe it's one of those international ones that doesn't really mean anything. Oh yeah, you know, like when someone gets excited about being on the cover.
Of Australiange is great, Italian Vogue is primo.
She's on the cover of Vogue, yep, which one I don't know. Biber the husband comments this underneath it for everyone to see. Are you prepared for this? Oh no, I love it so much.
Okay, all right, yo, he wrote, that's.
Not me, that's aye. Yo. This reminds me when Haley and I got into a huge fight. I told Hales that she would never be on the cover of Vogue. Yikes, I know, so so disrespect for during that I wanted to get even. I think as we mature, we realize that we're not helping anything by getting even. We're honestly just prolonging what we really want, which is intimacy and connection. So baby, you already know, I already know that you forgive me for saying that you wouldn't get on a cover, because clearly I was sadly mistaken.
Oh my goodness, Oh my god.
You imagine what fight would you have to have for your wife or husband to go.
You know what, You're never gonna be on the cover of Vogue. That's so peculiar.
On the cover of Vogue, what a little bit.
That's a strange thing to argue. And Google, are you googling has Selena Gome He's been on the cover of Vogue? I will she has.
You're connecting Google, Google, You're connecting the dogs.
I do think a lot in their household comes back to Selena. Yeah, I do. You know? These are numerous times, numerous times so oh, my goodness, which ones. Oh she's gorgeous, but also alarming and also it's something weird about how she had that falling out with the best friend that gave her the kidney, sorry, gave her the kidney and she needed even get to mention in her docco which, by the way, I watched, she gave her Yeah, because she's.
Got controversial to say about Selena Gomez and I don't want to offend the Selena Gomez fans.
Okay, all right.
I find her talking voice? So can I stop you? I can't watch.
I've got to stop you.
Only murder the god. Is it a medical condition to.
Do with the loopers? It's to do with the loopers? Yeah, okay, cancel doubly in one episode.
I hate people with diseases, hooray, and I love that's her aunt from her.
I think it's from It's no, it's not from the because she's on anti rejection medication too. That's also why she got a bit thicker for a while, because that's what the anti rejection medication does.
You know what you'll never be on He never be on.
The cover of Vogue. What a strange thing to say, and he.
Had commented it, but it also makes sense.
And he also didn't even say and baby, you look beautiful and.
You deserve it and all these He actually wrote. I was wrong, Yeah, and I'm sorry. I was sadly mistaken.
What a bitch. He's not even happy about it.
You're not going to be on the cover of Vogue, then you are, and you well, I was sadly shows what I know. But if you look closely at him, as I have been, not that you that he had the plugs last few weeks. He's very unwell.
No, he's very unaware. It's not it's it's it's not a sustainable model the way it is. But remember when it was all churchy for a while, because I say, Tassage, I want to go to the church. What's it called? What you know that Hillsong? I got a Hillsong?
Was he Hillsong?
Yeah? He was like that group of I don't know they were broad, I don't know what they are. Were they Pentecostals those that religion? Anyway? I don't know, but I see odds on if he ever comes to Melbourne, that's where he's going to go. And I don't want to be churning up on that day, just like I'm a I'm a Rubbernecker. I want to be a familiar face. They'll be like, there's sister Kate, Sister Kate. But then I gave up on him ever coming. He did go, No to Australia.
Didn't he go? And didn't he go to one of those places?
I think that was what gave me the idea. I think I was a bit after.
The fact, I was sadly mistaken that for a little te I like that one.
Speaking of husband, so you know Peter Allen Lewis last year my husband.
As soon to be hot new teacher on campus.
It was really brutal. His three weeks was brutal.
You did not tell us how he went. It was his placement.
Yeah, it was brutal.
His placement, the one where they're teaching the class and there's someone sitting at the.
Back marking them, so you're shadowing a teacher. But what happened was his teacher called him sick for two days, so Peter had to teach a year twelve physics class. And this is one This is not a selective school, but it's almost selective. It's a school in Melbourne that's got a lot of Chinese kids and they buy in the area because they want the kids to go to this school. They are so smart, these kids that Peter said, they should have been teaching him right, Like you got that wrong, sir anyway, But it was brutal. And I'll tell you something else that happened. Three weeks of him out of the house. You know, I was so.
Gleeful or his naps.
I've never been happier for him to be home, alas night, making him breakfast in bed every morning.
He loves breakfast.
He loves breakfast. He loves breakfast in bed. Why do you say he loves breakfast.
Because you said that he loves breakfast and you don't because.
You're fast, I find but I make him.
I do listen.
I don't know. I never know what you've listened to. But you said an accusatory way every so, and he loves breakfast. Mistaken the way you'd say to men you love returning pineapples much than the demeanor you would have had as you strode across the stage to sit on that chair. You would have crossed your legs and then looked at the audience like, well, here I am.
I plugged our podcasts?
Did you know anyway I should have? Did you mention it to your Brisbane audiences?
Sometimes I forget, but a couple of nights I did. I did.
Actually, there's some buckwards. Yes, yes, love that anyway. My husband so last year he had a milestone birthday. Now, I don't think milestone birthdays are good for people.
Okay, some sort of sound effects fortieth I just think for them, or.
You know, for them all. For me, I don't like a milestone but day. Luckily, I've had very few of them because I don't.
Believe in that twenty first soon.
What are we going to do? Daddy?
I was sadly mistaken.
Anyway. I just think very often people don't want to have a milestone birthday, and they're forced into it by other people and they feel that they should. And I still maintain there is no phrase more depressing than in a room full of people glasses and he is to the next fifty that is the most depressing phrase ever.
And fifty years young?
Whatever? Right, you know? I just think, and I'm all in favor of parties, as you know, have a party at any time, it doesn't have to be And now then people get into this plotting thing where they're like, ah, well, the next party'll be in ten years. I'm not what the fuck have a party at any time to wait ten years? So you're pressed, fight people over over dressed with shoes they're uncomfortable in, and you know, and we're going to play songs from the era. Get sacked, nobody enjoins it. Everyone feels fair.
The other night, the other night, after a show, I saw medow Kine, great comedian. He was all in pink Matt, what are you doing? And pink t shirt, pink pants, pink shoes. Is where you're going? Is a going to a party? Pink theme? O, pink theme and he seemed happy to be going.
Yeah, I'm happy to go to a pink party.
I am not. And I said to this person who I don't know, isn't the fact that you're asking people to come enough?
Add Okay, you've hijacked this discussion coming to your party. You've hijacked, and I'm excited to go to turn into your that's enough hatred of dressing.
You just said you don't want a theme.
No no, no no no no no no no no get playing song. That was probably a little bit. But my point is just to have a party, have a pathay you know what this. I'm going to have a party for my birthday and people go, is it a milestone birthday? As though we live on it was a Taliban and we can only celebrate things if they is zero. Anyway, I don't, I shouldn't have any more clures.
I didn't know that one of the Taliban rules was only milestone birthdays.
Anyway, So my husband had a milestone birthday. It was really great. Actually, we had a such a good number who was fifty. It was a very good party. It was a pool party and it was it was general madness. Anyway. It was fine, But since then it's psychologically done something to him like you.
And the pineapple a pair of very broken people right now.
We need help. We who can rebuild up.
Not anyone in his room, sorry.
Anyway, But it's kind of cute like he's just been leaning into I think he's trying it on like a costume, because you know, he's very attractive, my husband, and he's not since he's been teaching. He's got the spectacles and he does old man things and choose on the stem of the podcasses and you know that sort of thing. Right anyway, So he started saying old man things and they really make me laugh. So now I think he says them right. One we were talking about our bed. We've got a mattress here we go, a king size mattress. And it took so long for the King to come to our house that we got given sheets on our wedding for a king size mattress, and ten years later that were still in an open because we had never got the king.
How did you get it up your stairs?
Oh it was very hard. They had to remove a banner stuff, Yeah, very na anyway, So we've had the mattress now, I reckon for ten years and it's got a hump on it from it's got a hump in the middle, and I have I'm sorry to say that my side of the hump is lower than his side of the hump. And it's a really good mattress. It's the most comfortable sleeping No, it was stunning, it was very hump, it was very expensive. Well, it's happened to the hump kids in it?
It did the hump grow over time? Do we think or was there one thing that happened one day?
We don't know. Powers It's like you try having a hundred kilos lye on you for teen years. Try the two of you. Anyway, So I said to Peter, there's like a bit. Do you think we should get a new mattress? Any went no, this one will see us out. That is the most depressed ever, Just this one will see us out next to my hump. It made me laugh so much, so now he loves saying things will see us out. Right. Then he said it when the new pope got elected. He went, well, this pope will see it's still it's such fun to say.
That's so weird that he said that, because I had a thought about the pope where I went, oh, I've only probably got two or three or four popes. Like, how many popes do you have left? Well, it depends many.
If they keep electing the old ones, you should have a run of teams.
I have a theory on the pope. Oh give me, I reckon he's hamming it up a bit the oldness.
Oh, because he's not that old, only sixty eight.
Right, But have you seen him? He acts like he's he's shuffling and he's like waving. Maybe he did that, he's hamming it up.
He did that to get elected. Maybe he's hamming it up and now he can't be all sprightly.
Also, he's American.
You know what he's done weird, the opposite of what Joe Biden did, isn't it? How amazing?
Well that he that's my little theory. He's banging it on the pop banging.
I want to see he's acting.
Than I did with that chair. Let me tell.
You imagine again. Oh my goodness, what's his name? This pope? Leo?
Leo?
Yeah?
I haven't an American? Have seen him on the news footage?
Is he on snaps?
No? Is not? He'd be on TikTok? What the paper'd be on TikTok. I think the Catholic Church has always had a TikTok account. Before we go, I spoke about Cody's love of the security cameras. Oh, yes, changed.
He's watching them all the time. It's my daughter watches an it's.
His favorite toy. A couple of buckheads messaged just wanted to know what's going on. What's going on out there with people with security cameras?
Security cameras?
Deb, Hello buckhead Deb. She said, it's definitely time to get one. We have ring security cameras all around the house because my husband is obsessed. And here's a bit of a baddie sneaking into our front yard and the dark got up to the side of the house and bam, the security light comes on and he high tails out of there.
Really good. So hang on, I'm confused, works Kim, back up, it's just not enough. You live in this, in this Chinese CCTV world, but we.
Don't you get notifications right, and then if something happens at records, the light comes on. Yeah, so they can see props well.
Like starlik thgeen. Yeah great, okay, that great?
Yeah, Kim messages messages.
What if someone's trying to throw someone at surprise party.
Not anymore all pink themes surprise in zero. We've caught a lot on our door cam. We left some stuff we were giving away on Facebook Marketplace out front and the person who came to collect it decided they were also going to take our patio furniture in tuak or Hello, Hello, listening to our pod your guest house, Yes, listening to our pod, watching your pool cleaner do the job? Yes? Love this.
In fact, they're having the butler listen to the pod Ford.
And if your name's a Damo, you're living to go on at seven am on a Monday morning. Recently, my neighbor asked me if my doorbell camera was recording all night as someone was trying to break into the cars in our rear communal car park. Upon reviewing the footage, there was a junkie with no shoes staring through the blinds of my lounde room watching me watch TV at ten pm.
That's you know, it was just goggle Box.
I love it. Goggleo a budget.
The Buckup podcast is hosted by me, Kate lane Brook and him Nathan Valvo. It's produced by the brilliant Sasha French audio and sound by the magnificent Yack Lawrence. You might call him Jack and Tom Evans are We're lucky.
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