Apodjay Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment.

Apodjay Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment.

And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.

And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.

We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone else is too afraid to talk about.

We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone else is too afraid to talk about.

Get ready for your next level of self.

Get ready for your next level of self.

Hello everybody, Welcome back to she Rise. Has got another week of epic episodes and we're so excited to be here.

Hello everybody, Welcome back to she Rise. Has got another week of epic episodes and we're so excited to be here.

As always, we love a good Monday episode because that means we are want sharing a share of the week, and also we have a big episode coming in few years. Yeah.

As always, we love a good Monday episode because that means we are want sharing a share of the week, and also we have a big episode coming in few years. Yeah.

So if you are new here or welcome, Monday is normally a bit of a longer episode. Wednesday's a little bit shorter, and then Freaky Friday is even shorter again, but it's a bit more spicy, unhinged, and not your typical self development and empowering episodes.

So if you are new here or welcome, Monday is normally a bit of a longer episode. Wednesday's a little bit shorter, and then Freaky Friday is even shorter again, but it's a bit more spicy, unhinged, and not your typical self development and empowering episodes.

It's a whole lot of play that episode.

It's a whole lot of play that episode.

We love lots of variety. We know some of you love the longer episodes, some of you only have a little twenty minute pockets of time to listen to it. Today's all about mom life. Tiana's gonna be asking me a bunch of questions that she thinks will be really helpful to mums and people who are not mothers as well, like yourself. Those questions that Tiana asked me regularly. And we're like, why don't even do a whole episode on this?

We love lots of variety. We know some of you love the longer episodes, some of you only have a little twenty minute pockets of time to listen to it. Today's all about mom life. Tiana's gonna be asking me a bunch of questions that she thinks will be really helpful to mums and people who are not mothers as well, like yourself. Those questions that Tiana asked me regularly. And we're like, why don't even do a whole episode on this?

Yeah, it's awesome. I'm really excited for it, but let's start with our share of the weeks.

Yeah, it's awesome. I'm really excited for it, but let's start with our share of the weeks.

What have you got for us? Feel share? Yeah, I've got a movie. It's Jennifer Lopez in it. I think she is a fantastic actress. I'm really scared I've already recommended this. I hope I haven't. But it's called Unstoppable and it's about her being a mum and she's got multiple children and one of her children has only one leg, and they're very poor. They grow up without much money and they have an abusive stepfather. But it's just his journey to becoming a successful athlete and how he just has everything against him for him not to succeed, and his determination. It's based on a true story too. They literally show all the real people, you know, how they obviously have actors in there. They show the real people at the end and it's this whole story. It was so moving, it was so inspiring. It just made me think, like, nothing can hold you back if you really want something. I love inspiring sport movies. It's probably one of my favorite type of movies to watch. Yeah, so it's on Prime. It's called Unstoppable and Jennifer Lopez plays the main mum character. And I forget the main actor's name, but he was absolutely incredible. I have to go watch it.

What have you got for us? Feel share? Yeah, I've got a movie. It's Jennifer Lopez in it. I think she is a fantastic actress. I'm really scared I've already recommended this. I hope I haven't. But it's called Unstoppable and it's about her being a mum and she's got multiple children and one of her children has only one leg, and they're very poor. They grow up without much money and they have an abusive stepfather. But it's just his journey to becoming a successful athlete and how he just has everything against him for him not to succeed, and his determination. It's based on a true story too. They literally show all the real people, you know, how they obviously have actors in there. They show the real people at the end and it's this whole story. It was so moving, it was so inspiring. It just made me think, like, nothing can hold you back if you really want something. I love inspiring sport movies. It's probably one of my favorite type of movies to watch. Yeah, so it's on Prime. It's called Unstoppable and Jennifer Lopez plays the main mum character. And I forget the main actor's name, but he was absolutely incredible. I have to go watch it.

Please don't go watch it for me Today is one is just a quote. So it's a Lei la Hormosy quote and it goes the confidence you desire lies in the fears that you avoid. And I just wanted to bring this forward because it's really interesting. What I notice in just clients and even myself sometimes is that we often have this like made up timeline in our head of when we think we can achieve something or when it makes sense to start something or to do something, especially when we have the story of like I'm too busy, right, I don't have enough time, I can't this, I can't that, and we have all these limitations around ourselves and so anything that you want to achieve, like the confidence that you're wanting from that lies on the other side of the fears. So if you're just willing to just jump before you are ready and figure things out later, like not worrying about those things until you're actually in the moment, you will become the person that you want to become much quicker if you're willing to jump and then just figure things out later.

Please don't go watch it for me Today is one is just a quote. So it's a Lei la Hormosy quote and it goes the confidence you desire lies in the fears that you avoid. And I just wanted to bring this forward because it's really interesting. What I notice in just clients and even myself sometimes is that we often have this like made up timeline in our head of when we think we can achieve something or when it makes sense to start something or to do something, especially when we have the story of like I'm too busy, right, I don't have enough time, I can't this, I can't that, and we have all these limitations around ourselves and so anything that you want to achieve, like the confidence that you're wanting from that lies on the other side of the fears. So if you're just willing to just jump before you are ready and figure things out later, like not worrying about those things until you're actually in the moment, you will become the person that you want to become much quicker if you're willing to jump and then just figure things out later.

Love that, you know.

Love that, you know.

So just like whatever it is you feel fearful on right now, maybe it's just the fear. Maybe all you need to do is just take that one step of action that you've been avoiding taking for the last week, two weeks, two months, two years, however long it's been. If you can just take the action today that you've been avoiding, you will feel so much relief on the other side of that, and you'll actually be proud of yourself on the other side.

So just like whatever it is you feel fearful on right now, maybe it's just the fear. Maybe all you need to do is just take that one step of action that you've been avoiding taking for the last week, two weeks, two months, two years, however long it's been. If you can just take the action today that you've been avoiding, you will feel so much relief on the other side of that, and you'll actually be proud of yourself on the other side.

And one hundred percent, I think a lot of people will look at successful people and think that they're not scared. Oh, it's like no, they were so fucking scared and they felt the fear and they did it anyway.

And one hundred percent, I think a lot of people will look at successful people and think that they're not scared. Oh, it's like no, they were so fucking scared and they felt the fear and they did it anyway.

Yeah, they're just too busy taking action that the fear comes with them. It sits in their handbag, you know, or it's on the front seat passenger side with them on the journey. But they just do it anyway. And if you can get into that habit of just taking action regardless, you will get there so much quicker, and then you'll look back in hindsight and you'll realize, holy shit, I am that person.

Yeah, they're just too busy taking action that the fear comes with them. It sits in their handbag, you know, or it's on the front seat passenger side with them on the journey. But they just do it anyway. And if you can get into that habit of just taking action regardless, you will get there so much quicker, and then you'll look back in hindsight and you'll realize, holy shit, I am that person.

I love that. Yeah, all right, let's get sat on these questions. Let's ask away. I love talking about mom life, so I'm excited for this one.

I love that. Yeah, all right, let's get sat on these questions. Let's ask away. I love talking about mom life, so I'm excited for this one.

Amazing. So I feel like a lot of women look at you and see what you do in the way that you post as a mum and everything that you do in your everyday life, and I'm probably wondering how you are able to kind of manage all that you do as well as run business, be a mum of two, be a loving partner, and show up for social media for the last fifteen years. How do you do it all?

Amazing. So I feel like a lot of women look at you and see what you do in the way that you post as a mum and everything that you do in your everyday life, and I'm probably wondering how you are able to kind of manage all that you do as well as run business, be a mum of two, be a loving partner, and show up for social media for the last fifteen years. How do you do it all?

Not sure? No, I'm very sure. We were having a beautiful conversation about this the other day. You actually asked me a more specific question because you were saying, I admire how you and Steve really tagged him with each other and it looks very fair, and did it change from different age groups of different kids, And it's forever changing. You have to be really flexible and adaptable to your children, to their wants and needs as they grow and develop, because a newborn baby needs a lot more than what a nine year old child needs. Always adapting and changing. But from what I learned from kid number one to kid number two was the communication with your partner is so important. Otherwise you go in with having these expectations of how they're going to do things and how they're going to show up and compared to what they might be thinking might be complete opposite, and you just end up clashing and arguing over so many little things. But when you communicate what each other needs, what your strengths are in parenting and in life, you work so much better. And I also love that Steve and I don't see it as you're the woman you should be doing this, or you're the mom you should be doing that, you're the data expect you to do this. It's like we're just in this as a team. We both are working parents, we both decided to have children, We are both in this altogether, and we are such a good team, and I think that is the number one thing that helps us be really successful in everything that we do in our parenting and our relationship and our business. And then for me, it's a lot of structure. It is a lot of structure, which I know that's not for everyone. I've got friends that and more go with the flow with their kids. But for me, being a working parent, I do have responsibilities, I do have contracts, I do have things that I need to get done by a certain time, So having structure in place is really really important. Then there's also the options of are your kids going to daycare? Do you have family around that can help, do you have a babysitter? Do you have a nanny. We chose to have a nanny. We didn't want to send Tyala to daycare just yet. I think next year we probably will to get her ready for school and be in more social environments. But creating your village as well is really really important, and I know not everyone could afford a babysitter or a nanny. And I remember back when I had taj I had a really close girlfriend that had a baby around the same time, and we used to help each other, so I'd be like, Okay, today, I've got to go to this appointment. You take Taj and your baby. In the next day we'd swap. She'd go do her appointments, so I'd take her baby and we'd have a couple of hours to get our stuff done. It was just like creating that village and making it work from am to pm. We are quite structured. I get up and train quite early. Steve's not a morning person. He struggles to get up. I love getting up early. That works for us. So I'll get up at quarter past four, go and train, come back, make the lunch, have a shower, do my makeup, get ready. I'm all set to go. He gets up, he has a shower and gets ready while I'm hanging with the kids, and then a day started. It just works well like that. In the afternoon, we'll always communicate who's grabbing Taj, who's going home to be with Tala. And then once we're all home, we're all family environment. But it's just a lot of communication, but we're both all in it together. Yeah, so that's in a nutshell, that's beautiful.

Not sure? No, I'm very sure. We were having a beautiful conversation about this the other day. You actually asked me a more specific question because you were saying, I admire how you and Steve really tagged him with each other and it looks very fair, and did it change from different age groups of different kids, And it's forever changing. You have to be really flexible and adaptable to your children, to their wants and needs as they grow and develop, because a newborn baby needs a lot more than what a nine year old child needs. Always adapting and changing. But from what I learned from kid number one to kid number two was the communication with your partner is so important. Otherwise you go in with having these expectations of how they're going to do things and how they're going to show up and compared to what they might be thinking might be complete opposite, and you just end up clashing and arguing over so many little things. But when you communicate what each other needs, what your strengths are in parenting and in life, you work so much better. And I also love that Steve and I don't see it as you're the woman you should be doing this, or you're the mom you should be doing that, you're the data expect you to do this. It's like we're just in this as a team. We both are working parents, we both decided to have children, We are both in this altogether, and we are such a good team, and I think that is the number one thing that helps us be really successful in everything that we do in our parenting and our relationship and our business. And then for me, it's a lot of structure. It is a lot of structure, which I know that's not for everyone. I've got friends that and more go with the flow with their kids. But for me, being a working parent, I do have responsibilities, I do have contracts, I do have things that I need to get done by a certain time, So having structure in place is really really important. Then there's also the options of are your kids going to daycare? Do you have family around that can help, do you have a babysitter? Do you have a nanny. We chose to have a nanny. We didn't want to send Tyala to daycare just yet. I think next year we probably will to get her ready for school and be in more social environments. But creating your village as well is really really important, and I know not everyone could afford a babysitter or a nanny. And I remember back when I had taj I had a really close girlfriend that had a baby around the same time, and we used to help each other, so I'd be like, Okay, today, I've got to go to this appointment. You take Taj and your baby. In the next day we'd swap. She'd go do her appointments, so I'd take her baby and we'd have a couple of hours to get our stuff done. It was just like creating that village and making it work from am to pm. We are quite structured. I get up and train quite early. Steve's not a morning person. He struggles to get up. I love getting up early. That works for us. So I'll get up at quarter past four, go and train, come back, make the lunch, have a shower, do my makeup, get ready. I'm all set to go. He gets up, he has a shower and gets ready while I'm hanging with the kids, and then a day started. It just works well like that. In the afternoon, we'll always communicate who's grabbing Taj, who's going home to be with Tala. And then once we're all home, we're all family environment. But it's just a lot of communication, but we're both all in it together. Yeah, so that's in a nutshell, that's beautiful.

And between you and Steve, do you guys split the rolls evenly? Like how do you split them between each other or is it that communication that you were talking around.

And between you and Steve, do you guys split the rolls evenly? Like how do you split them between each other or is it that communication that you were talking around.

Yeah, it's different every day. So sometimes Steve will walking the door and I can know from the moment he's walked in that he is tapped. Yeah, he's at capacity, he's had a hard day. I can feel his energy. I've been with this man for seventeen years. I know when he's not coping. Yeah, and that's when I will do majority of it. There's days I come home and I'm like going through something emotional and He'll tell me to sit on the couch and he's got the kids and he'll take them for a swim, or he'll ask me, what do you need today? Did you want to cook? Or do you want to take the kids for a swim? What feels good for you? So is that communication? Sometimes if I'm missing him, like I've been away from work and you know, with makes you a lot lately. So last night we did the bath time routine. Instead of me doing bath and him doing dinner, we both did both together. Yeah, it was just we got to find more pockets of times that we could be together, connect, talk, catch up because we haven't had a lot of time together. So is big on communication. There's certain things that I love doing, and there's certain things that he loves doing. Like he loves going in the pool with Tala. That's his bonding quality, one on one time. So normally all cooked in a way, he does that. And then for the first year in a bit, I put her to bed. That was my thing selfishly, I just really loved that time. And now she demands that we all put it a bed. So you've been around naturally, you've seen exactly how it works. I will take her in the bedroom, do her nappy, get her sleepsack zipped up, Daddy, cuddle Tartar, cuddle Tari, cuddles and she'll demand the kissing cuddles and now it's a whole family affair, all of us in there reading the books, doing the kiss and cuddles, doing the app of me, and it's this whole thing we get to do together beautiful. So it's forever changing. But we definitely do have structure and flexibility within all of that. But there's never any tip for Tat which I used to do that with Taj. I've done this, I've been up breastfeeding. You should be doing this. I feel like I'm doing more than you and be like, well, I'm working more than you and I've got this on my plate. And it was just this constant back and forth trying to who's more tired, who's working harder, and yuck. After that, I was like, we learned so much of what not to do. We were determined to do this differently and to do it beautifully and to do it with love and respect and open communication. And it's beautiful. I really am so proud of how we do it. I really am.

Yeah, it's different every day. So sometimes Steve will walking the door and I can know from the moment he's walked in that he is tapped. Yeah, he's at capacity, he's had a hard day. I can feel his energy. I've been with this man for seventeen years. I know when he's not coping. Yeah, and that's when I will do majority of it. There's days I come home and I'm like going through something emotional and He'll tell me to sit on the couch and he's got the kids and he'll take them for a swim, or he'll ask me, what do you need today? Did you want to cook? Or do you want to take the kids for a swim? What feels good for you? So is that communication? Sometimes if I'm missing him, like I've been away from work and you know, with makes you a lot lately. So last night we did the bath time routine. Instead of me doing bath and him doing dinner, we both did both together. Yeah, it was just we got to find more pockets of times that we could be together, connect, talk, catch up because we haven't had a lot of time together. So is big on communication. There's certain things that I love doing, and there's certain things that he loves doing. Like he loves going in the pool with Tala. That's his bonding quality, one on one time. So normally all cooked in a way, he does that. And then for the first year in a bit, I put her to bed. That was my thing selfishly, I just really loved that time. And now she demands that we all put it a bed. So you've been around naturally, you've seen exactly how it works. I will take her in the bedroom, do her nappy, get her sleepsack zipped up, Daddy, cuddle Tartar, cuddle Tari, cuddles and she'll demand the kissing cuddles and now it's a whole family affair, all of us in there reading the books, doing the kiss and cuddles, doing the app of me, and it's this whole thing we get to do together beautiful. So it's forever changing. But we definitely do have structure and flexibility within all of that. But there's never any tip for Tat which I used to do that with Taj. I've done this, I've been up breastfeeding. You should be doing this. I feel like I'm doing more than you and be like, well, I'm working more than you and I've got this on my plate. And it was just this constant back and forth trying to who's more tired, who's working harder, and yuck. After that, I was like, we learned so much of what not to do. We were determined to do this differently and to do it beautifully and to do it with love and respect and open communication. And it's beautiful. I really am so proud of how we do it. I really am.

It's beautiful to watch. I've said this from the beginning watching you guys. You guys are such a team, and it's so such beautiful evidence as someone who hasn't been with somebody for seventeen years and have two children to be able to see that, go wow, it gets to be like that.

It's beautiful to watch. I've said this from the beginning watching you guys. You guys are such a team, and it's so such beautiful evidence as someone who hasn't been with somebody for seventeen years and have two children to be able to see that, go wow, it gets to be like that.

And I don't like it when people say like, oh, you're so lucky your husband does that. I'm like, yes, I feel blessed that I've chosen a partner that is really hands on. But it actually took so much conscious, hard, difficult conversations and both of us practicing it and working as a team and continually communicating. We still have to communicate just as well now as what we did when we first started this journey. Yeah, it's not luck. It's both of us being all in because we want to be the best for ourselves and for our kids. So yeah, it's really beautiful. I'm really proud of us. I'd love to know.

And I don't like it when people say like, oh, you're so lucky your husband does that. I'm like, yes, I feel blessed that I've chosen a partner that is really hands on. But it actually took so much conscious, hard, difficult conversations and both of us practicing it and working as a team and continually communicating. We still have to communicate just as well now as what we did when we first started this journey. Yeah, it's not luck. It's both of us being all in because we want to be the best for ourselves and for our kids. So yeah, it's really beautiful. I'm really proud of us. I'd love to know.

I'm sure everyone listening we'd love to know, Like, how do you and see both manage when you're both feeling stretched and both feeling really tired.

I'm sure everyone listening we'd love to know, Like, how do you and see both manage when you're both feeling stretched and both feeling really tired.

Yeah, that's a good question. There's been a lot of that lately, if I'm being really really honest, from my brain surgery and then with Rambos passing and trying to both keep up with our responsibilities, it's been a lot to hold. And if I'm being honest, we've had a lot more screen time. We watch a lot more movies with the kids because it's at the end of the day and I want to see on the couch crying most days and he's holding me and emotional now. But yeah, it's been hard. So we just watch movies with the kids and that's our time to kind of numb out and tap out for a moment and just we can still be with them cuddling or like having our dinner or whatever. And then once again, it's communicating. I will literally say to Steve all the time, like, you look so tired. Can I book you a massage? Like what do you need right now? On the weekend? Do you want to go do something with someone or do you need some time out? Do you want to go down to the beach. Because we both recharge when we have some solo time. Me more so when I'm with my girlfriends. That's my kind of plug in. Yeah, I feel so alive and lit up. So I love my friend timer Is he's more solo time. So we're really just checking in and making sure each other is getting that time amongst everything that we're holding. And that's life, isn't it. It's hard sometimes and it's beautiful, and it's challenging, and it's a ride. Parenting is literally a lifestyle. It's something you have to adjust to and I love it so much, but yeah, it can be a lot when you're going through. Even at the moment when I'm like holding my own grief and then also being a mum, also being ashy on social media, also my responsibilities at work. There's a lot of people and a lot of emotions and a lot of things to hold. It's really difficult. But yeah, there's a lot of check ins, a lot of communication, and just a bit more screen time at the moment.

Yeah, that's a good question. There's been a lot of that lately, if I'm being really really honest, from my brain surgery and then with Rambos passing and trying to both keep up with our responsibilities, it's been a lot to hold. And if I'm being honest, we've had a lot more screen time. We watch a lot more movies with the kids because it's at the end of the day and I want to see on the couch crying most days and he's holding me and emotional now. But yeah, it's been hard. So we just watch movies with the kids and that's our time to kind of numb out and tap out for a moment and just we can still be with them cuddling or like having our dinner or whatever. And then once again, it's communicating. I will literally say to Steve all the time, like, you look so tired. Can I book you a massage? Like what do you need right now? On the weekend? Do you want to go do something with someone or do you need some time out? Do you want to go down to the beach. Because we both recharge when we have some solo time. Me more so when I'm with my girlfriends. That's my kind of plug in. Yeah, I feel so alive and lit up. So I love my friend timer Is he's more solo time. So we're really just checking in and making sure each other is getting that time amongst everything that we're holding. And that's life, isn't it. It's hard sometimes and it's beautiful, and it's challenging, and it's a ride. Parenting is literally a lifestyle. It's something you have to adjust to and I love it so much, but yeah, it can be a lot when you're going through. Even at the moment when I'm like holding my own grief and then also being a mum, also being ashy on social media, also my responsibilities at work. There's a lot of people and a lot of emotions and a lot of things to hold. It's really difficult. But yeah, there's a lot of check ins, a lot of communication, and just a bit more screen time at the moment.

Yeah, it's that stacking effect that we were talking about. Sometimes things just feel like a heavier season. And that's also okay. And obviously, by the sounds of it, you and Steve do a really good job learning how to like maneuver between the different seasons. But do you think that's really important?

Yeah, it's that stacking effect that we were talking about. Sometimes things just feel like a heavier season. And that's also okay. And obviously, by the sounds of it, you and Steve do a really good job learning how to like maneuver between the different seasons. But do you think that's really important?

So important knowing.

So important knowing.

How to bounce between the easy seasons and the hard seasons without making it mean something about your relationship, about you as a parent.

How to bounce between the easy seasons and the hard seasons without making it mean something about your relationship, about you as a parent.

Definitely, one hundred percent. And not taking things personally as well. Yeah, like when one of them's going through something, not taking a personally, which I used to do all the time, and now I'm more like hyper aware to be like, oh I can see what this is. Yeah, I'm not going to make something of it. Yeah, that's just how he's feeling or how I'm feeling, or where we're at right now, and that's okay. Yeah, that gets to be there and tomorrow might be really different.

Definitely, one hundred percent. And not taking things personally as well. Yeah, like when one of them's going through something, not taking a personally, which I used to do all the time, and now I'm more like hyper aware to be like, oh I can see what this is. Yeah, I'm not going to make something of it. Yeah, that's just how he's feeling or how I'm feeling, or where we're at right now, and that's okay. Yeah, that gets to be there and tomorrow might be really different.

Yeah, and how about in the moments, because I could imagine anyone who's a parent. My experience this is like it's all really good and well and everything's so smoothly when everyone's feeling good, or maybe just one person's feeling good but the other person's feeling tapped at. What about when you're like both triggered and both feeling tapped out and you've still got a parent, Like, what are your kind of go to things to help yourself regulate? In those moments, I.

Yeah, and how about in the moments, because I could imagine anyone who's a parent. My experience this is like it's all really good and well and everything's so smoothly when everyone's feeling good, or maybe just one person's feeling good but the other person's feeling tapped at. What about when you're like both triggered and both feeling tapped out and you've still got a parent, Like, what are your kind of go to things to help yourself regulate? In those moments, I.

Go into my logical brain. Then yeah, it's like, okay, what do we need to do? What are the necessities? Yeah, these kids need to be fed, they need to be bathed, and need to be put together. That's what we're focusing on right now. Now is not the time to get into deep conversations where we're going to get really frustrated that we interrupted every three seconds because with one kid, two kid, three kids, like, you don't get a moment's talk. I was voice messaging you the other day and like I've lost my train of thought about four times. I'm like, I'm sorry, babe, I can't talk work right now, like Tyler, she needs me. Yes. So it's very logical. These are the tasks we need to get done, and we park the deep conversations that we need to have, all the hard conversations we need to have and park up for the side, and some things too, like you just need to allow them to play out. That actually isn't anything that you need to do, like grieving right now, there's nothing else I have to do or need to do. It's just it's there. Yeah, and I've had to accept that that's going to be there for a very very long time. This isn't going anywhere. Yeah, Like if someone asks me how I am right now, I'm like not good. Yeah, and probably not going to be good for a very long time. Does that mean that I can't be happy and find joy in moments and still enjoy my work or celebrate my successes. Definitely not. Yeah, I get to hold all of that and everything I've been holding this last month has stretched my capacity and is showing me how to do that, and I'm really grateful for that. But yeah, when it's both of us like not coping, it's logical. Get what we need to get done, and then decompressed later and put a movie on.

Go into my logical brain. Then yeah, it's like, okay, what do we need to do? What are the necessities? Yeah, these kids need to be fed, they need to be bathed, and need to be put together. That's what we're focusing on right now. Now is not the time to get into deep conversations where we're going to get really frustrated that we interrupted every three seconds because with one kid, two kid, three kids, like, you don't get a moment's talk. I was voice messaging you the other day and like I've lost my train of thought about four times. I'm like, I'm sorry, babe, I can't talk work right now, like Tyler, she needs me. Yes. So it's very logical. These are the tasks we need to get done, and we park the deep conversations that we need to have, all the hard conversations we need to have and park up for the side, and some things too, like you just need to allow them to play out. That actually isn't anything that you need to do, like grieving right now, there's nothing else I have to do or need to do. It's just it's there. Yeah, and I've had to accept that that's going to be there for a very very long time. This isn't going anywhere. Yeah, Like if someone asks me how I am right now, I'm like not good. Yeah, and probably not going to be good for a very long time. Does that mean that I can't be happy and find joy in moments and still enjoy my work or celebrate my successes. Definitely not. Yeah, I get to hold all of that and everything I've been holding this last month has stretched my capacity and is showing me how to do that, and I'm really grateful for that. But yeah, when it's both of us like not coping, it's logical. Get what we need to get done, and then decompressed later and put a movie on.

Yes, it's so good. Sometimes you need that or.

Yes, it's so good. Sometimes you need that or.

Go outside, like if we've got a new playground in our backyard. It's been amazing. We go out and we've got two chairs and the kids just play on the playground and we can just sit watch the sun go down and they're playing and it's the best. We're out the fresh air, they're being active, we're still with them, we're present with them.

Go outside, like if we've got a new playground in our backyard. It's been amazing. We go out and we've got two chairs and the kids just play on the playground and we can just sit watch the sun go down and they're playing and it's the best. We're out the fresh air, they're being active, we're still with them, we're present with them.

It's beautiful, very beautiful.

It's beautiful, very beautiful.

Yeah, i'd love to know.

Yeah, i'd love to know.

I feel like there's lots of judgment around being a parent that I've seen, and i'd love to know what your opinion is on screen time and what your balance is with that when it comes to like allowing the kids time on their.

I feel like there's lots of judgment around being a parent that I've seen, and i'd love to know what your opinion is on screen time and what your balance is with that when it comes to like allowing the kids time on their.

Screens or it's such a controversial topic and I still don't really reckon. I have a super strong opinion on what's right or wrong. And every mom that I speak to about this, they all have their kind of rules with what feels good for them.

Screens or it's such a controversial topic and I still don't really reckon. I have a super strong opinion on what's right or wrong. And every mom that I speak to about this, they all have their kind of rules with what feels good for them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like I was talking about next to the Navy yesterday and she was like, oh, when they're sick, more screen time. And she had a tough week and then she's like, oh, well, he gets it every single morning when he wakes up, he wakes up really early. Don't want to waken the baby. So you know, from five till six thirty. That's his screen time. I was like, oh, that's interesting because in our house and once again, no right or wrong, there's no screen in the morning. It's a hard rule that I have. We are getting ready for school, we're being present with our food. We're not adding any stimulation before you go to school, like that's just my thing. But in the evening, we love watching funny animals on YouTube. And then Taj also connects with his friends on a game at nighttime, so he gets forty five minutes, you know, every single day to be on his iPad and to watch what he wants to watch. We see what he watches and we're very onto that and know the games that he played. But that's something that he does get to use. But there's strong boundaries around how much he gets to use and what he uses it for. But then when they're sick, that goes out the window. Tyler touch wood, wood around, Oh my god, there's no wood. She hasn't been sick much, but there was about six months ago she got hand, foot in mouth and a very mild case of a like literally had none on her feet. She had a couple in her mouth and I think one little sore on her finger, but she was like you wouldn't even recognize her, so miserable. She just wanted to lay in my arms and was so lethargic and tired. We watched that much cartoons and I was like, had this little glimpse of like mum good of awe. I shouldn't really allowing her to have this much screen But I was like, actually, she just needs to rest. Can't take her out anywhere because she's contagious starters, but she doesn't have energy to go play, you know. So we watched a lot of movies and a lot of screen time and for three days straight, that's what we did. Yeah, and I don't have any guilt around that. Yeah, you know, And if Taji is sick as well, we definitely allow a bit more. On school holidays, when I'm juggling kids and work, they use it a little bit more because sometimes I have to have a meeting at home where I've got things I've got to do, you know, So I utilize it when I need to. However, I can see that it can really affect their concentration and their behavior if they have too much of it. I have a strong rule on there's no social media. I've said he's not allowed any social media till he's sixteen. Ye ask me again when he's a teenager. I'm sure it's going to be very difficult, but he has agreed when he turns sixteen, that's when we will open that discussion back up. And at the moment he's okay with that, I'm very open with him about pedophiles sexual assault. He could literally tell you what sexual assault means now, how scary the internet is for them, how pedophiles groom young children online. We have very open dialogue with all of that. I think it's really important to inform. So when he shows me something on YouTube, I'm like, no, I'm not okay with you watching that. Or if he wants to put a new game on I'm like, no, that has chat rooms, We're not okay with that. So a lot of education. So I don't think there's any right or wrong, but I think we have a nice, healthy balance and there's flexibility within that. One more rule that we have is no shorts even on YouTube. You know how they have the shorts option. Yeah, he's not allowed to do that because I truly believe that that will affect their concentration levels, and I want him to be able to sit and be able to consume you know, electure in his classroom or a movie, or just be able to be more still. And I think kids that are watching that their attention span, like they just can't sit still for a long period of time, and if they have too much, I believe their behavior is affected. Yeah, so I think every kid's so different too.

Like I was talking about next to the Navy yesterday and she was like, oh, when they're sick, more screen time. And she had a tough week and then she's like, oh, well, he gets it every single morning when he wakes up, he wakes up really early. Don't want to waken the baby. So you know, from five till six thirty. That's his screen time. I was like, oh, that's interesting because in our house and once again, no right or wrong, there's no screen in the morning. It's a hard rule that I have. We are getting ready for school, we're being present with our food. We're not adding any stimulation before you go to school, like that's just my thing. But in the evening, we love watching funny animals on YouTube. And then Taj also connects with his friends on a game at nighttime, so he gets forty five minutes, you know, every single day to be on his iPad and to watch what he wants to watch. We see what he watches and we're very onto that and know the games that he played. But that's something that he does get to use. But there's strong boundaries around how much he gets to use and what he uses it for. But then when they're sick, that goes out the window. Tyler touch wood, wood around, Oh my god, there's no wood. She hasn't been sick much, but there was about six months ago she got hand, foot in mouth and a very mild case of a like literally had none on her feet. She had a couple in her mouth and I think one little sore on her finger, but she was like you wouldn't even recognize her, so miserable. She just wanted to lay in my arms and was so lethargic and tired. We watched that much cartoons and I was like, had this little glimpse of like mum good of awe. I shouldn't really allowing her to have this much screen But I was like, actually, she just needs to rest. Can't take her out anywhere because she's contagious starters, but she doesn't have energy to go play, you know. So we watched a lot of movies and a lot of screen time and for three days straight, that's what we did. Yeah, and I don't have any guilt around that. Yeah, you know, And if Taji is sick as well, we definitely allow a bit more. On school holidays, when I'm juggling kids and work, they use it a little bit more because sometimes I have to have a meeting at home where I've got things I've got to do, you know, So I utilize it when I need to. However, I can see that it can really affect their concentration and their behavior if they have too much of it. I have a strong rule on there's no social media. I've said he's not allowed any social media till he's sixteen. Ye ask me again when he's a teenager. I'm sure it's going to be very difficult, but he has agreed when he turns sixteen, that's when we will open that discussion back up. And at the moment he's okay with that, I'm very open with him about pedophiles sexual assault. He could literally tell you what sexual assault means now, how scary the internet is for them, how pedophiles groom young children online. We have very open dialogue with all of that. I think it's really important to inform. So when he shows me something on YouTube, I'm like, no, I'm not okay with you watching that. Or if he wants to put a new game on I'm like, no, that has chat rooms, We're not okay with that. So a lot of education. So I don't think there's any right or wrong, but I think we have a nice, healthy balance and there's flexibility within that. One more rule that we have is no shorts even on YouTube. You know how they have the shorts option. Yeah, he's not allowed to do that because I truly believe that that will affect their concentration levels, and I want him to be able to sit and be able to consume you know, electure in his classroom or a movie, or just be able to be more still. And I think kids that are watching that their attention span, like they just can't sit still for a long period of time, and if they have too much, I believe their behavior is affected. Yeah, so I think every kid's so different too.

Yeah, I can see the benefit in teaching your kids in TAJE, especially why something might not be good for them, and then almost getting him to make an informed decision on his own. It's like teaching him how to make decisions for himself and how to learn when he has information, how to make a choice that's going to be good and beneficial for him in the future.

Yeah, I can see the benefit in teaching your kids in TAJE, especially why something might not be good for them, and then almost getting him to make an informed decision on his own. It's like teaching him how to make decisions for himself and how to learn when he has information, how to make a choice that's going to be good and beneficial for him in the future.

One hundred percent.

One hundred percent.

So you mentioned something earlier before around feeling like you had like an inkling of mum guilt come up. I would love to know how you actually manage mum guilt. When does it come up for you? How do you manage it? Tell us all.

So you mentioned something earlier before around feeling like you had like an inkling of mum guilt come up. I would love to know how you actually manage mum guilt. When does it come up for you? How do you manage it? Tell us all.

Yeah, it's a tricky one. I think most mums do experience it, and it's fucking horrible when you're experiencing it. So for me, mum guilt comes up if I've worked too much or I've just been away from them too much. So this last month is perfect example, which I know I've touched on already. But I was in for brain surgery and I was in the hospital for four days and then I was meant to come home and kind of be in bed rest for another week. Rainbow passed the night that I came home from hospital, and Megsie told me the next day, and I pretty much was at her house all day every day up until the evening until she went to bed most days to support her. So I really wasn't around my kids much. And then I just noticed Tala started to cry when I was leaving in the morning, and that was a guilt for me that I haven't been there for her much. And then it was a Then my work had kind of caught up with me, and I had the Sydney trip booked, and we've got this up here because you said let's cancel the Sydney trip, like go with your kids. I was like, well, this is I'm in a contract, this is a responsibility, this is an opportunity, this is something I still want to do, and that's life. Sometimes we do miss out and it is just a season, and I have the moments of guilt and it's more just like I fucking miss them. So I just try in the moment, how do I manage it? I just try to accept that this is the busiest season and these were unpredictable things. I had to have brain surgery. I chose to be there with my best friend. I don't regret that at all. Yes, that sucked Fatala if she missed me, but I know she's also in safe hands with her father who absolutely loves her and make sure she has the best time when I'm not there. So I just try to remind myself that it's a busy season, this is life sometimes and you're doing the best you can with what you have. And then when I'm home, I feel like if I've carried in that guilt or I'm really missing them, I'm even more conscious, I'm even more present, I'm even more just with them, and I really appreciate that time with them. But being a bully to myself and beating myself up about it, what is that going to achieve? So I think over the years that the mum Guild has popped in I really trained myself to just be kind to myself because if my best friend came to me and said, oh my gosh, I feel so guilty that I've been working so much, I would be like, Okay, I can hear you. You're working because you have to earn a living. If you don't work, how do you pay your bills? Yeah, you can't just not work, Like, that's just not how life works. You know, I understand how you feel, but like, be kind to yourself.

Yeah, it's a tricky one. I think most mums do experience it, and it's fucking horrible when you're experiencing it. So for me, mum guilt comes up if I've worked too much or I've just been away from them too much. So this last month is perfect example, which I know I've touched on already. But I was in for brain surgery and I was in the hospital for four days and then I was meant to come home and kind of be in bed rest for another week. Rainbow passed the night that I came home from hospital, and Megsie told me the next day, and I pretty much was at her house all day every day up until the evening until she went to bed most days to support her. So I really wasn't around my kids much. And then I just noticed Tala started to cry when I was leaving in the morning, and that was a guilt for me that I haven't been there for her much. And then it was a Then my work had kind of caught up with me, and I had the Sydney trip booked, and we've got this up here because you said let's cancel the Sydney trip, like go with your kids. I was like, well, this is I'm in a contract, this is a responsibility, this is an opportunity, this is something I still want to do, and that's life. Sometimes we do miss out and it is just a season, and I have the moments of guilt and it's more just like I fucking miss them. So I just try in the moment, how do I manage it? I just try to accept that this is the busiest season and these were unpredictable things. I had to have brain surgery. I chose to be there with my best friend. I don't regret that at all. Yes, that sucked Fatala if she missed me, but I know she's also in safe hands with her father who absolutely loves her and make sure she has the best time when I'm not there. So I just try to remind myself that it's a busy season, this is life sometimes and you're doing the best you can with what you have. And then when I'm home, I feel like if I've carried in that guilt or I'm really missing them, I'm even more conscious, I'm even more present, I'm even more just with them, and I really appreciate that time with them. But being a bully to myself and beating myself up about it, what is that going to achieve? So I think over the years that the mum Guild has popped in I really trained myself to just be kind to myself because if my best friend came to me and said, oh my gosh, I feel so guilty that I've been working so much, I would be like, Okay, I can hear you. You're working because you have to earn a living. If you don't work, how do you pay your bills? Yeah, you can't just not work, Like, that's just not how life works. You know, I understand how you feel, but like, be kind to yourself.

Girl.

Girl.

You're doing what you need to do, and you're doing the best you can with what you have. And yes, it might be you know, a busier week where you got home later and you missed a couple of bath times. These are conversations I regularly have with my girlfriends. Got one girlfriend who leaves at eight, doesn't get home till six, and she sees her kids for like an hour in the morning, half an hour at night, and she hates it. Yeah, like, you're doing the best with what you can right now with the situation that you're in, you know, beating yourself up, like you wouldn't be your best friend up, so why beat yourself up about it? And doesn't achieve or change anything. But sometimes guilt is that little like you know when you get a text message like ding ding. Sometimes if I get guilt, I'm like ding ding, Okay, what's happening for me? This doesn't feel good? Okay, I'm not going to do this again? Or how can I change this? Or what can I do better so that I don't have to feel this for a long time? Yes, So now inquiry. It's self inquiry, and it's knowing you have choice to change. It's like, Okay, I've had this busy season and now I'm starting to try and get back into a normal routine. I'm still visiting, makes it a lot, obviously, and I'm still doing my work, but I'm trying to find a new rhythm that feels good for me and feels good for Tala and for Steve and supports everyone as well as myself.

You're doing what you need to do, and you're doing the best you can with what you have. And yes, it might be you know, a busier week where you got home later and you missed a couple of bath times. These are conversations I regularly have with my girlfriends. Got one girlfriend who leaves at eight, doesn't get home till six, and she sees her kids for like an hour in the morning, half an hour at night, and she hates it. Yeah, like, you're doing the best with what you can right now with the situation that you're in, you know, beating yourself up, like you wouldn't be your best friend up, so why beat yourself up about it? And doesn't achieve or change anything. But sometimes guilt is that little like you know when you get a text message like ding ding. Sometimes if I get guilt, I'm like ding ding, Okay, what's happening for me? This doesn't feel good? Okay, I'm not going to do this again? Or how can I change this? Or what can I do better so that I don't have to feel this for a long time? Yes, So now inquiry. It's self inquiry, and it's knowing you have choice to change. It's like, Okay, I've had this busy season and now I'm starting to try and get back into a normal routine. I'm still visiting, makes it a lot, obviously, and I'm still doing my work, but I'm trying to find a new rhythm that feels good for me and feels good for Tala and for Steve and supports everyone as well as myself.

Question any more kids?

Question any more kids?

Yes? Or no?

Yes? Or no?

And why no?

And why no?

No? I mean I've always thought I would have two boys. So there's this like tiny little part of me that feels like there's still a little boy there for me. I just always joined to being a mom of two boys. And my mum said to me a little while ago, she said, maybe you'll adopt or maybe you know, one of TAJA's friends will need a home because his home is broken, and you'll take them in. But I feel like there's a boy energy somewhere around me. I'm not sure, but for me, I think I'm done. Steve is forty five, I'm thirty six. If we were younger, I would have another big age gap, definitely go a third. But yeah, with Steve's age, his dad passed when he was fifty two, I think, and both of us didn't have dads at our weddings. Both of us didn't have dads for all of our important days. And Steve's like, I just want to be around for all of my kids things, and I have them too late. I'm worried I won't be able to walk my daughter down the aisle. You know what, if I don't live a long life, I want to be there for all those important days for them. Yeah. I just really love our dynamic. I really love our lifestyle. I really got one of each gender. They're both healthy, they're both happy. I just really love what we've got. Yeah, I don't feel like anything's missing. Not that I felt that with Taj either, but when I had Tala, I just felt this sense of we are complete. Yeah, there's little moments where I'm like, oh, one more would be nice, but not enough to have another child. Yeah, Like I'd be happy if Steve got the snip. Yeah he's refusing, but I work on it. And I love being an auntie too as well, like I love all my friends' kids as well. And I feel like with two, I have a really nice balance of being able to live out my passions, spend time with my girlfriends on trips, have date nights, spend quality time with my kids, give them a great life. Yeah, I feel like I really have it all. Yeah. I love that I really have it all.

No? I mean I've always thought I would have two boys. So there's this like tiny little part of me that feels like there's still a little boy there for me. I just always joined to being a mom of two boys. And my mum said to me a little while ago, she said, maybe you'll adopt or maybe you know, one of TAJA's friends will need a home because his home is broken, and you'll take them in. But I feel like there's a boy energy somewhere around me. I'm not sure, but for me, I think I'm done. Steve is forty five, I'm thirty six. If we were younger, I would have another big age gap, definitely go a third. But yeah, with Steve's age, his dad passed when he was fifty two, I think, and both of us didn't have dads at our weddings. Both of us didn't have dads for all of our important days. And Steve's like, I just want to be around for all of my kids things, and I have them too late. I'm worried I won't be able to walk my daughter down the aisle. You know what, if I don't live a long life, I want to be there for all those important days for them. Yeah. I just really love our dynamic. I really love our lifestyle. I really got one of each gender. They're both healthy, they're both happy. I just really love what we've got. Yeah, I don't feel like anything's missing. Not that I felt that with Taj either, but when I had Tala, I just felt this sense of we are complete. Yeah, there's little moments where I'm like, oh, one more would be nice, but not enough to have another child. Yeah, Like I'd be happy if Steve got the snip. Yeah he's refusing, but I work on it. And I love being an auntie too as well, like I love all my friends' kids as well. And I feel like with two, I have a really nice balance of being able to live out my passions, spend time with my girlfriends on trips, have date nights, spend quality time with my kids, give them a great life. Yeah, I feel like I really have it all. Yeah. I love that I really have it all.

It's such a beautiful thing because you've got time to be able to allocate for all of the things that you love and prioritize that you value out of your life.

It's such a beautiful thing because you've got time to be able to allocate for all of the things that you love and prioritize that you value out of your life.

And I feel even with two. And I don't know if any other mums relate, but I feel since I've had Tala, it's harder to give Tarj as much quality time as what I gave from the first five and a half years when it was just him. I was so used to being able to give him all of my energy. As you know, she's quite allowed energy. She requires a lot more attention, a lot more of me, And because she's younger, he is more self sufficient and independent and naturally has gone to her, especially when I was breastfeeding whatever. So I feel like having a third I don't know how I would give the quality of time that I want to give my children that I feel like my kids need. Yes, I look at moms that have five, like your mom has had five. I got plenty of friends that have three, and they fucking nail for me personally, I think, I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't be as patient and I would feel guilty that I couldn't give them what I think they need. I love what I've got going on right now. I love that so good.

And I feel even with two. And I don't know if any other mums relate, but I feel since I've had Tala, it's harder to give Tarj as much quality time as what I gave from the first five and a half years when it was just him. I was so used to being able to give him all of my energy. As you know, she's quite allowed energy. She requires a lot more attention, a lot more of me, And because she's younger, he is more self sufficient and independent and naturally has gone to her, especially when I was breastfeeding whatever. So I feel like having a third I don't know how I would give the quality of time that I want to give my children that I feel like my kids need. Yes, I look at moms that have five, like your mom has had five. I got plenty of friends that have three, and they fucking nail for me personally, I think, I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't be as patient and I would feel guilty that I couldn't give them what I think they need. I love what I've got going on right now. I love that so good.

I'd be curious to know some topics that you don't talk about online and why, like vaccinations, circumcision and all the really taboo topics in motherhood that people just tend to stray away from.

I'd be curious to know some topics that you don't talk about online and why, like vaccinations, circumcision and all the really taboo topics in motherhood that people just tend to stray away from.

Likely you talk about vaccinations and circumcision online, you're asking for a death sentence.

Likely you talk about vaccinations and circumcision online, you're asking for a death sentence.

Oh shit, am I asking for a death sentence?

Oh shit, am I asking for a death sentence?

I mean, I'll give you my perspective. I don't have a strong opinion on any of it. Yeah, I have done a lot of study into both, with circumcision or not getting circumcised, vaccinations, not getting vaccinations. I've got friends that do it, I've got friends that don't. I am honestly hand in my heart, whatever feels good for you. And then I've had friends that haven't got vaccinated, and then the kids have gotten sick and they've carried guilty around that and thought, what if I did get them vaccinated, would that not being the case. I had another girlfriend who her sister got vaccinated when she was younger developed having fits and seizures, and they said it was from the vaccinations. So their next child they didn't get vaccinated. They've been perfectly fine. Yes, you can look up online for everything that is four vaccinations and feel so good with your decision. You can look up the other way and it's everything of why not to get your kids vaccinated, and you could feel good on that decision. There is literally pros and cons and studies done on both. So whatever feels good for you and your family, I respect what you want to do. Yeah, let's just have that for each other. And you're going to make a decision based on your beliefs, based on your study your research, and then circumcision.

I mean, I'll give you my perspective. I don't have a strong opinion on any of it. Yeah, I have done a lot of study into both, with circumcision or not getting circumcised, vaccinations, not getting vaccinations. I've got friends that do it, I've got friends that don't. I am honestly hand in my heart, whatever feels good for you. And then I've had friends that haven't got vaccinated, and then the kids have gotten sick and they've carried guilty around that and thought, what if I did get them vaccinated, would that not being the case. I had another girlfriend who her sister got vaccinated when she was younger developed having fits and seizures, and they said it was from the vaccinations. So their next child they didn't get vaccinated. They've been perfectly fine. Yes, you can look up online for everything that is four vaccinations and feel so good with your decision. You can look up the other way and it's everything of why not to get your kids vaccinated, and you could feel good on that decision. There is literally pros and cons and studies done on both. So whatever feels good for you and your family, I respect what you want to do. Yeah, let's just have that for each other. And you're going to make a decision based on your beliefs, based on your study your research, and then circumcision.

Yeah, it's a whole other canal worms.

Yeah, it's a whole other canal worms.

It's a whole of the can of worms. Once again, I did research pros and cons to both, ye, and it was really eye opening. And once again, whatever feels right for you. Yeah, I'm not going to tell you what's the right thing to do for your child's penis. Yeah, it's not my place. I had a girlfriend once, an old high school girlfriend, and she was getting you're infections all the time, and her partner was not circumcised, and the doctor taught him how to clean his penis properly, and he was doing it properly, and it just never went away. They kind of said it wasn't because of that. They went to this new doctor and she was like, I guarantee if you get circumcised, you run affectuals to go away. So we did it when I got circumcised. She's never had one sense. Well, because it's just more bacteria. It's harder to clean it to clean. But then, yeah, I understand there's once again, different cultures that believe in doing it, that don't believe.

It's a whole of the can of worms. Once again, I did research pros and cons to both, ye, and it was really eye opening. And once again, whatever feels right for you. Yeah, I'm not going to tell you what's the right thing to do for your child's penis. Yeah, it's not my place. I had a girlfriend once, an old high school girlfriend, and she was getting you're infections all the time, and her partner was not circumcised, and the doctor taught him how to clean his penis properly, and he was doing it properly, and it just never went away. They kind of said it wasn't because of that. They went to this new doctor and she was like, I guarantee if you get circumcised, you run affectuals to go away. So we did it when I got circumcised. She's never had one sense. Well, because it's just more bacteria. It's harder to clean it to clean. But then, yeah, I understand there's once again, different cultures that believe in doing it, that don't believe.

In doing it. Yes, everyone to their own, each.

In doing it. Yes, everyone to their own, each.

To their own. It's not my place to insert my opinion and tell you what to do with your genitals.

To their own. It's not my place to insert my opinion and tell you what to do with your genitals.

Yeah, it's not one of those things as well, where it's like one size fits all. It's like everyone has their own seat of beliefs there instead of even religions and.

Yeah, it's not one of those things as well, where it's like one size fits all. It's like everyone has their own seat of beliefs there instead of even religions and.

Things like that.

Things like that.

But yeah, that are unique to a specific set of beliefs and behaviors of what they do and how they behave, And like that's okay.

But yeah, that are unique to a specific set of beliefs and behaviors of what they do and how they behave, And like that's okay.

How can you tell someone to get circumcised or to not get circumcised if their religion believes that is the right thing to do or their culture that's what they've done for centuries. Who are you to come and say do this or don't do that. Yeah, that's my blow to me. I would never think that's okay. Yeah, I totally respect religions and cultures and what they do is what they do, you know. Yeah, So that's my opinion on it.

How can you tell someone to get circumcised or to not get circumcised if their religion believes that is the right thing to do or their culture that's what they've done for centuries. Who are you to come and say do this or don't do that. Yeah, that's my blow to me. I would never think that's okay. Yeah, I totally respect religions and cultures and what they do is what they do, you know. Yeah, So that's my opinion on it.

I love it.

I love it.

I love it.

I love it.

My question for you is what important values that you and Steve both want to teach the kids as they're growing up now.

My question for you is what important values that you and Steve both want to teach the kids as they're growing up now.

Good question. Kindness is probably the main one that I talk about often. I just think it's always a choice. A really value kind considerate people, and considerations one I've more learned since meeting you, because it's such a high value of yours. It's to always consider. You can still have your own boundaries and make your own decisions, but I think it's really beautiful to consider those around that you love, how it might impact them, how it may make them feel. Kindness, respect, honesty, and good work ethic. I think good work ethic has served me so much. I didn't grow up with much, and I'm so grateful for it. I used to get so jealous of my friends. It could just take money out of their parents' wallets, or they go the movies and the parents with throw them a yellow fifty dollars.

Good question. Kindness is probably the main one that I talk about often. I just think it's always a choice. A really value kind considerate people, and considerations one I've more learned since meeting you, because it's such a high value of yours. It's to always consider. You can still have your own boundaries and make your own decisions, but I think it's really beautiful to consider those around that you love, how it might impact them, how it may make them feel. Kindness, respect, honesty, and good work ethic. I think good work ethic has served me so much. I didn't grow up with much, and I'm so grateful for it. I used to get so jealous of my friends. It could just take money out of their parents' wallets, or they go the movies and the parents with throw them a yellow fifty dollars.

No.

No.

Yeah, I had to work from when I was thirteen years old, and I'm so grateful. I did so grateful my parents pushed me to work and earn my own money. It's like, really serve me. My mum's always reckon. I just had that within me, like good work ethic and very driven.

Yeah, I had to work from when I was thirteen years old, and I'm so grateful. I did so grateful my parents pushed me to work and earn my own money. It's like, really serve me. My mum's always reckon. I just had that within me, like good work ethic and very driven.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I really want my kids to have good work ethic and be able to work by themselves and also within a team. Yeah, it's important distinction that kindness, respect, honesty, good work ethic. Yeah, probably top there's lots of them, but yeah, yeah were my top ones. I love that. It's funny.

Yeah, I really want my kids to have good work ethic and be able to work by themselves and also within a team. Yeah, it's important distinction that kindness, respect, honesty, good work ethic. Yeah, probably top there's lots of them, but yeah, yeah were my top ones. I love that. It's funny.

I remember having a conversation and we were sitting on your lounge and Taj was there and he wanted something and you were like, all right, no worries. Well, in order to have that, you have to work for it. So what we're going to do is we're going to write out a list of chores that you can do, then we can accumulate the money so that you can then go and buy that thing. Yeah. And it was just really cool to see because it was just such a healthy conversation. There was no pressure, there was no nothing. It was just like, in order to have that, this is what we do, and we work for those things.

I remember having a conversation and we were sitting on your lounge and Taj was there and he wanted something and you were like, all right, no worries. Well, in order to have that, you have to work for it. So what we're going to do is we're going to write out a list of chores that you can do, then we can accumulate the money so that you can then go and buy that thing. Yeah. And it was just really cool to see because it was just such a healthy conversation. There was no pressure, there was no nothing. It was just like, in order to have that, this is what we do, and we work for those things.

Mom and Daddy can't just buy that for you. We have to go out and earn that as well. Money isn't grow on trees.

Mom and Daddy can't just buy that for you. We have to go out and earn that as well. Money isn't grow on trees.

Yeah, And teaching in the value of money, yeah, exactly, and responsibility and all of those things that come underneath a good work ethic.

Yeah, And teaching in the value of money, yeah, exactly, and responsibility and all of those things that come underneath a good work ethic.

We had to actually pull ourselves up because he asked to borrow money to buy something, and we were like, cool, you can learn the art of like paying back and earning it. But then he wanted to borrow again, and Steve was like, oh, hang on, no, you don't go into debt all the time. If you want something, you earn it. So he stopped lending him money and doing that borrowing thing because it started to become a frequent thing. I was proud that he was honoring his word to pay back because my mum said that was something I was really good at. My brother's not so much is borrowing money. I would pay it back as soon as I had it, as my brothers would kind of like stretch it out and hope she forgot about it, and that really upset my mum. And so I wanted him to know that if he ever borrows anything, that he needs to pay that back as soon as he can. But then Steve was like, yeah, I don't want to teach him that you can just get what you want and then pay it back later.

We had to actually pull ourselves up because he asked to borrow money to buy something, and we were like, cool, you can learn the art of like paying back and earning it. But then he wanted to borrow again, and Steve was like, oh, hang on, no, you don't go into debt all the time. If you want something, you earn it. So he stopped lending him money and doing that borrowing thing because it started to become a frequent thing. I was proud that he was honoring his word to pay back because my mum said that was something I was really good at. My brother's not so much is borrowing money. I would pay it back as soon as I had it, as my brothers would kind of like stretch it out and hope she forgot about it, and that really upset my mum. And so I wanted him to know that if he ever borrows anything, that he needs to pay that back as soon as he can. But then Steve was like, yeah, I don't want to teach him that you can just get what you want and then pay it back later.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So now it's like, if you want something, you've got to earn that first. Oh. I like that. It was cool to go through that.

So now it's like, if you want something, you've got to earn that first. Oh. I like that. It was cool to go through that.

I mean just like removing the element of the borrowing and going instead of just doing this funny you just focus on making more, yeah, or earning it so that you don't have to dip into that side of things.

I mean just like removing the element of the borrowing and going instead of just doing this funny you just focus on making more, yeah, or earning it so that you don't have to dip into that side of things.

Yea, I want him to learn to work hard, but I also don't want him to have the same belief that I had that you have to go through bloods and tears to earn a dollar. Yeah, I want him to be in the belief that manifestation and being in a frequency to be able to attract and hold a certain level of finances and not be limited. So that's what I'm kind of like trying to navigate now, is I want him to know how to work hard, and you do have to work hard and be disciplined and be determined to get what you want. Like I from my work now, it's very playful, it's very fun. It's easy for me to make money being me doing what I love. It really is, and I'm so grateful to be here now, but it took a long time to get there. Yeah, So I kind of want him to go along a similar journey without as much pain stress. I don't know, it's hard to explain, but then pain and stress has served me as well. I'm trying to navigate that and how to teach that. Yeah, Yeah, how.

Yea, I want him to learn to work hard, but I also don't want him to have the same belief that I had that you have to go through bloods and tears to earn a dollar. Yeah, I want him to be in the belief that manifestation and being in a frequency to be able to attract and hold a certain level of finances and not be limited. So that's what I'm kind of like trying to navigate now, is I want him to know how to work hard, and you do have to work hard and be disciplined and be determined to get what you want. Like I from my work now, it's very playful, it's very fun. It's easy for me to make money being me doing what I love. It really is, and I'm so grateful to be here now, but it took a long time to get there. Yeah, So I kind of want him to go along a similar journey without as much pain stress. I don't know, it's hard to explain, but then pain and stress has served me as well. I'm trying to navigate that and how to teach that. Yeah, Yeah, how.

Do you coat yourself when you're trigated? By one of the kids. How do you behave do you blame the kids, do you take responsibility or comes up for you in the moment? Process out of it?