Good a team.

Good a team.

Welcome back to the show. This is Rob with the Punches podcast and I'm your host TIF Cook. Today we're speaking to our good friend, doctor Jody Richardson. She's the host of the Well Hello Anxiety podcast. She's a good friend of mine now and we had a brilliant chat, a brilliant chat about all things life and human ing in the middle of what it is that life is. So I hope you enjoy it, and if you do, please let me know. And just a nudge, if you don't follow the show, could you please go over and hit follow, maybe drop a five star rating review. All these things would be amazing for the show and I would love you very very much.

Welcome back to the show. This is Rob with the Punches podcast and I'm your host TIF Cook. Today we're speaking to our good friend, doctor Jody Richardson. She's the host of the Well Hello Anxiety podcast. She's a good friend of mine now and we had a brilliant chat, a brilliant chat about all things life and human ing in the middle of what it is that life is. So I hope you enjoy it, and if you do, please let me know. And just a nudge, if you don't follow the show, could you please go over and hit follow, maybe drop a five star rating review. All these things would be amazing for the show and I would love you very very much.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Enjoy. Nobody wants to go to court and don't. My friends are test Art Family Lawyers. Know that they offer all forms of alternative dispute resolution. Their team of Melbourne family lawyers have extensive experience in all areas of family law to facto and same sex couples, custody and children, family violence and intervention orders, property settlements and financial agreements. Test Art is in your corner, so reach out to Mark and the team at www dot test Artfamilylawyers dot com dot Au The Good Doc Jody Richardson, Welcome to Roll with the Punches. Well, it's good to be with you too. It's so good to be here back again. I know. I'm so excited, you know when you just feel like I get to have a chat with my friend.

Enjoy. Nobody wants to go to court and don't. My friends are test Art Family Lawyers. Know that they offer all forms of alternative dispute resolution. Their team of Melbourne family lawyers have extensive experience in all areas of family law to facto and same sex couples, custody and children, family violence and intervention orders, property settlements and financial agreements. Test Art is in your corner, so reach out to Mark and the team at www dot test Artfamilylawyers dot com dot Au The Good Doc Jody Richardson, Welcome to Roll with the Punches. Well, it's good to be with you too. It's so good to be here back again. I know. I'm so excited, you know when you just feel like I get to have a chat with my friend.

I know, and we were chatting. We were chatting and we're like, oh, probably should just press record.

I know, and we were chatting. We were chatting and we're like, oh, probably should just press record.

Yeah, let's just press record and have a chat. And it's good because I was, I was doing stuff right before switching on, and I was like, I hope Jody doesn't think I've got a topic because I don't. I'm just gonna have a chat because that's what we do.

Yeah, let's just press record and have a chat. And it's good because I was, I was doing stuff right before switching on, and I was like, I hope Jody doesn't think I've got a topic because I don't. I'm just gonna have a chat because that's what we do.

It is nothing nicer in life than just being able to roll with the.

It is nothing nicer in life than just being able to roll with the.

You know, go with punches, roll with the punches.

You know, go with punches, roll with the punches.

Yes, that wasn't planned, but just I think I think it's quite look and we were having a conversation that I think I think we're not alone in how we're feeling. And so just literally the stuff we just started talking about. It's often the way, isn't it. It's like what you start talking about and when you sort of share how you're actually going because we will actually tell each other, we won't just sort of say yeah, great, how are you. It's often it's often like okay, well it's probably not just us, so it's nice just to go with the flow.

Yes, that wasn't planned, but just I think I think it's quite look and we were having a conversation that I think I think we're not alone in how we're feeling. And so just literally the stuff we just started talking about. It's often the way, isn't it. It's like what you start talking about and when you sort of share how you're actually going because we will actually tell each other, we won't just sort of say yeah, great, how are you. It's often it's often like okay, well it's probably not just us, so it's nice just to go with the flow.

Yeah, And I like that, Like I'm very much like that in all aspects of my life. I don't I'm not sure if that's good or bad commercially, but it's like, even when I'm running my coaching programs, I'm just wrapping my arms around a bunch of people and going, all right, we're all in this and let's talk about it. And like I'm so I feel like I'm a participant in the middle of it. That just happens to drag in a few resources and pack them.

Yeah, And I like that, Like I'm very much like that in all aspects of my life. I don't I'm not sure if that's good or bad commercially, but it's like, even when I'm running my coaching programs, I'm just wrapping my arms around a bunch of people and going, all right, we're all in this and let's talk about it. And like I'm so I feel like I'm a participant in the middle of it. That just happens to drag in a few resources and pack them.

What you just said then like wrap your arms around a bunch of people. Gosh, that that is so much more than I'm sure people are expecting when they're working in a coaching program to feel really supported, really cared for. And what is really so good about that, Tiff, is that if they trust you, you know, they trust you, and everyone's got challenges in their life and so whatever it is that you're talking about, they feel like that somebody's got their back. We're going with the boxing. Is that another boxing, analogy or pun I don't know.

What you just said then like wrap your arms around a bunch of people. Gosh, that that is so much more than I'm sure people are expecting when they're working in a coaching program to feel really supported, really cared for. And what is really so good about that, Tiff, is that if they trust you, you know, they trust you, and everyone's got challenges in their life and so whatever it is that you're talking about, they feel like that somebody's got their back. We're going with the boxing. Is that another boxing, analogy or pun I don't know.

We're in their corner, the corner Joey people are coming totally, totally.

We're in their corner, the corner Joey people are coming totally, totally.

Yeah. And it's nice not to be too rigid I think with things, because like I used to be quite the opposite. I used to be more like, right, this is what I think, and then now you know, I guess over time, maturity, getting more of a handle on my mental health and anxiety, and just being able to go right, okay. I feel comfortable to be flexible and to you know, obviously when I'm speaking, you've got sort of key things you're kind of really talking about. But sometimes somebody will answer a question and you'll spend time on something you never plan spending time off. But I actually think if we can be more flexible, we cope better with We probably work better, and I think we cope better when things go wrong as well, because we're not so rigid in our thinking.

Yeah. And it's nice not to be too rigid I think with things, because like I used to be quite the opposite. I used to be more like, right, this is what I think, and then now you know, I guess over time, maturity, getting more of a handle on my mental health and anxiety, and just being able to go right, okay. I feel comfortable to be flexible and to you know, obviously when I'm speaking, you've got sort of key things you're kind of really talking about. But sometimes somebody will answer a question and you'll spend time on something you never plan spending time off. But I actually think if we can be more flexible, we cope better with We probably work better, and I think we cope better when things go wrong as well, because we're not so rigid in our thinking.

Well, that's exactly I mean, that's exactly the skill set that you learn in boxing. You at first you learn just how to fight and take a punch and keep throwing them, and then the more skilled you get, it's about adaptability. It's like, well that round didn't go, well, what other approaches do I have? Let's park that one and do something different, so you adapt? Do you do different things all the time. I feel like if I think about, you know, programs or workshops or the things that I talk about and share, I don't like to think I have answers. I don't want to. And sometimes it feels like a commercial roadblock for me. Sometimes I think, am I opposed to actually turning myself into something commercially viable? But I just don't want to pretend that one thing is an answer, because I'm just always curious, always evolving, always experiencing different levels of similar things, and I'm curious about them. And it gives me an eke to try and turn that into hey, guys, I've got the answer. Yeah, I don't know the answers.

Well, that's exactly I mean, that's exactly the skill set that you learn in boxing. You at first you learn just how to fight and take a punch and keep throwing them, and then the more skilled you get, it's about adaptability. It's like, well that round didn't go, well, what other approaches do I have? Let's park that one and do something different, so you adapt? Do you do different things all the time. I feel like if I think about, you know, programs or workshops or the things that I talk about and share, I don't like to think I have answers. I don't want to. And sometimes it feels like a commercial roadblock for me. Sometimes I think, am I opposed to actually turning myself into something commercially viable? But I just don't want to pretend that one thing is an answer, because I'm just always curious, always evolving, always experiencing different levels of similar things, and I'm curious about them. And it gives me an eke to try and turn that into hey, guys, I've got the answer. Yeah, I don't know the answers.

I know, I know what you mean, and but it speaks to it actually speaks to why you should commercialize it more because you are not here saying I am the all knowing one. You're still learning, like we're all still learning. And you know, I've had lots of people will say before that you know, you're okay if you're just a couple of steps ahead. If it's a curriculum, and you know, maybe maybe that that's okay in the in the classroom if you know as a teacher, obviously you know your subject matter. But but what you bring as a coach are a lot of really good questions for people, because often people actually have the answers themselves, don't they We might not like what that answer is, we might not want to go there, but I think that that's the that's where a lot of the skill is sitting in the discomfort of somebody else's discomfort when they're asked a hard question, and if they want to be honest, if we want to be honest, I mean, a gosh, I've been there. I've done so much therapy. It is hard. And so yeah, I think it's actually a real credit to you that you're like, well, I don't I don't have all the answers, I don't know everything, but this I can bring a huge skill set and a lot of wisdom to this. And people obviously come to your tip because they've gotten to know you and like your style, like your approach, and are inspired by you. And so yeah, I really, I really love that you've got your coaching program. I don't know how long you've been doing it, but on the second round it is the second round, yes, yeah, yeah, so it's that has flown. It feels like a moment ago I launched and that was last year. But yeah, it's interesting. I'd love I.

I know, I know what you mean, and but it speaks to it actually speaks to why you should commercialize it more because you are not here saying I am the all knowing one. You're still learning, like we're all still learning. And you know, I've had lots of people will say before that you know, you're okay if you're just a couple of steps ahead. If it's a curriculum, and you know, maybe maybe that that's okay in the in the classroom if you know as a teacher, obviously you know your subject matter. But but what you bring as a coach are a lot of really good questions for people, because often people actually have the answers themselves, don't they We might not like what that answer is, we might not want to go there, but I think that that's the that's where a lot of the skill is sitting in the discomfort of somebody else's discomfort when they're asked a hard question, and if they want to be honest, if we want to be honest, I mean, a gosh, I've been there. I've done so much therapy. It is hard. And so yeah, I think it's actually a real credit to you that you're like, well, I don't I don't have all the answers, I don't know everything, but this I can bring a huge skill set and a lot of wisdom to this. And people obviously come to your tip because they've gotten to know you and like your style, like your approach, and are inspired by you. And so yeah, I really, I really love that you've got your coaching program. I don't know how long you've been doing it, but on the second round it is the second round, yes, yeah, yeah, so it's that has flown. It feels like a moment ago I launched and that was last year. But yeah, it's interesting. I'd love I.

Can't wait to be able to reflect back in a couple of years time and see what I think or what my philosophies are, or what I've now decided or learned or unlearned. Yeah, it's bloody interesting. Life, mate, life, Tell me about your life, your world. What's it like being what like being doctor Jody Richardson and guiding the people in and how you do it?

Can't wait to be able to reflect back in a couple of years time and see what I think or what my philosophies are, or what I've now decided or learned or unlearned. Yeah, it's bloody interesting. Life, mate, life, Tell me about your life, your world. What's it like being what like being doctor Jody Richardson and guiding the people in and how you do it?

Oh? Look, this this week is a cracker of a week. It's so interesting in the world of a professional speaker because I mean, as you know, you don't work every day nine to five like somebody might, or eight thirty to four thirty, or it's so flexible now people are working all hours, which is awesome. But this week I've actually I presented yesterday to some year actually was year nine, ten, eleven, and twelve. I don't normally speak to four year levels at once. Wow, but I developed I kind of I'm always every time I speak. It's never the same in that I'm always evolving and tweaking and maybe changing changing things as I learn and grow and think about things differently or find a better and different way of doing it. But I was anxious yesterday TIF because I was speaking at my old school where I started my professional career as a teacher. Yeah, and I'm still really connected it. It was the Pininicular School, it's now Penicular Grammar, and I've spoke and there before and I actually I was inducted into their Hall of Fame, which for my work in the area of mental health and well being, which was a real honor. But this time being back in the hall where you know, we used to have all our school assemblies, and being the one up the front with six hundred kids in the room, plus friends of my daughters who were in the audience, it just felt different. And I really adapted and evolved my student my present. When I talked to kids, I want to engage them, but talk to them about about anxiety, to help them see it from a really different lens, like a really different perspective. But I had thirty five minutes, and so I worked really hard to come up with something that I felt would really be memorable and really help kind of embed the learning and give them some skills. And yeah, so that was that was yesterday, And I got an email from one of the students today just saying thank you. And often, because I do talk about my own anxiety people, it's you know, I'm used to talking about it. It's my world. But oftentimes people in the audience they've never heard someone stand up in front of hundreds of people and say, hey, I take medication because anxiety is a really big problem for me. And so yeah, this particular student had sent me a really lovely email and shared a little bit more about her and how much you appreciate it. So it just feels good. You know, we students sometimes you know, the bell goes and they're like, yes, it's lunchtime, but yeah, the thanks I got on the way out, and then I'll be getting some feedback. It's yeah, it just feels good because I was the kid at school who didn't have a clue. I mean, I had so much anxiety and I didn't even know what anxiety was. So yeah, and then later this week, I've got a webinar I'm delivering on Thursday, and then I've got actually four presents for a client on Friday, but then the following week I don't have any presenting, so I'll be spending all my time podcasting. Yeah, it's always different, which is I think what I love about it.

Oh? Look, this this week is a cracker of a week. It's so interesting in the world of a professional speaker because I mean, as you know, you don't work every day nine to five like somebody might, or eight thirty to four thirty, or it's so flexible now people are working all hours, which is awesome. But this week I've actually I presented yesterday to some year actually was year nine, ten, eleven, and twelve. I don't normally speak to four year levels at once. Wow, but I developed I kind of I'm always every time I speak. It's never the same in that I'm always evolving and tweaking and maybe changing changing things as I learn and grow and think about things differently or find a better and different way of doing it. But I was anxious yesterday TIF because I was speaking at my old school where I started my professional career as a teacher. Yeah, and I'm still really connected it. It was the Pininicular School, it's now Penicular Grammar, and I've spoke and there before and I actually I was inducted into their Hall of Fame, which for my work in the area of mental health and well being, which was a real honor. But this time being back in the hall where you know, we used to have all our school assemblies, and being the one up the front with six hundred kids in the room, plus friends of my daughters who were in the audience, it just felt different. And I really adapted and evolved my student my present. When I talked to kids, I want to engage them, but talk to them about about anxiety, to help them see it from a really different lens, like a really different perspective. But I had thirty five minutes, and so I worked really hard to come up with something that I felt would really be memorable and really help kind of embed the learning and give them some skills. And yeah, so that was that was yesterday, And I got an email from one of the students today just saying thank you. And often, because I do talk about my own anxiety people, it's you know, I'm used to talking about it. It's my world. But oftentimes people in the audience they've never heard someone stand up in front of hundreds of people and say, hey, I take medication because anxiety is a really big problem for me. And so yeah, this particular student had sent me a really lovely email and shared a little bit more about her and how much you appreciate it. So it just feels good. You know, we students sometimes you know, the bell goes and they're like, yes, it's lunchtime, but yeah, the thanks I got on the way out, and then I'll be getting some feedback. It's yeah, it just feels good because I was the kid at school who didn't have a clue. I mean, I had so much anxiety and I didn't even know what anxiety was. So yeah, and then later this week, I've got a webinar I'm delivering on Thursday, and then I've got actually four presents for a client on Friday, but then the following week I don't have any presenting, so I'll be spending all my time podcasting. Yeah, it's always different, which is I think what I love about it.

Yeah, I was talking talking heaps lately about the idea perspective on how lucky we are, but how no matter who we are or where we are or what we have, how challenged we are by the human experience, how challenged we are by the struggles we have and the poor me that we feel and the emotions, and there's no escaping that. And I see it with people that are flying high, and people see it in people that are struggling a bit more. But then in reality, we're the top one percent in the world of income earners for a start, generally we have had roofs over our head. And I just see all the different levels of that, and I'm like, it's so interesting. How do we embed that way to always see and be grateful and how do we experience our emotions? But we have to experience them in a certain way. But yeah, their mind just gets stories about things.

Yeah, I was talking talking heaps lately about the idea perspective on how lucky we are, but how no matter who we are or where we are or what we have, how challenged we are by the human experience, how challenged we are by the struggles we have and the poor me that we feel and the emotions, and there's no escaping that. And I see it with people that are flying high, and people see it in people that are struggling a bit more. But then in reality, we're the top one percent in the world of income earners for a start, generally we have had roofs over our head. And I just see all the different levels of that, and I'm like, it's so interesting. How do we embed that way to always see and be grateful and how do we experience our emotions? But we have to experience them in a certain way. But yeah, their mind just gets stories about things.

Oh it really doesn't. One of the things that I find hard and I wonder if you know people listening can relate or if you can relate toive. But I kind of feel like I'm constantly changing hats, like and I'll never forget. One of my beautiful friends Christy said to me when I was when I was a new mum sixteen years ago, nearly seventeen years ago, wowses. She said, you have to get used to being able to take one hat off and put off another, even though you might not want to take the hat you're wearing off. You might not have finished the task you're doing. You might be in the middle of something and all of a sudden, that hat, whether you like it or not, you got to take it off and put on the parenting hat. And I feel like I've got so many damn hats at the moment. Like you know, I was telling you earlier on the phone today, Yesterday I did my presentation, felt really good, good feedback, then caught up with my parents for lunch, which was unplanned, a bit of stuff going on there, So I caught up with them for lunch, and then just as we were leaving, like I felt like I've done I'm doing my exercise, like I'm good presentation you know, just sort of feeling like, oh, my duck's are feeling like they're in the same pond, and lovely lunch. Good to see mom and Dad. Felt like I'd ticked the kind of you know, dutiful daughter thing off, even though I adore them, know. But and then as we were leaving, there was a road rage incident. As we were crossing the road because we're very slow. Dad's very very slow, and we really had all the space and time we needed, except this driver decided to make a beeline for us and accelerate and then abuse us for taking so long to cross the road, and then unfortunately Dad fell and so just in an instant, you you know, just and that's kind of the way. Like obviously it was shocking, it was upsetting. People came flocking so this one, you know what, Like I try not to swear too much, you know, I mean I do occasionally, but I've said some fairly unpleasant things about this person. But just that rage in this person. He said to my dad, I hope you get run over when he left, you know, when he took off in his car. And he's obviously got a lot of problems, that fella. But just the way, like the day can just turn. And I think that one of the things that I sort of practice personally and share in my work is really at the heart of it is psychological flexibility. Coming back to what we were saying earlier, and that part of it is acceptance. And I used to misunderstand acceptance and forgiveness. I used to think forgiveness meant what the person did was okay, and that you're kind of saying, oh, that wasn't such a big deal, whereas it's actually me letting go of the hurt. By forgiving the person does not mean you're condoning it. Might never want to see them again. I don't accept what you did. I don't like what you did. I don't condone it. I never want to happen to happen again. I might never want to see you again, or maybe I will, But I forgive you is about me and letting go so that I'm not carrying that hurt and that heartbreak. I can let go of it, put a line under it. And acceptance is kind of it is what it is. I don't have to like it. And one of the things about developing psychological flexibility, which I've worked on a lot with my own through doing that the training and then applying it to yourself myself and teaching it in my work, and just because when we hold onto things that have happened that are really painful and hurtful, and it's not easy to let go. I'm not saying for a minute, you know, like I know you've experienced a huge amount of trauma that's sort of different but incidental day to day stuff and also big stuff like yesterday. Well, I can't change what happened, but what I can do is I mean, it's certainly it sent me into fight or flight in the most instinctive way. And this fella yelled, and I tell you what I yelled back. The worst insult he threw at me was his stupid deal And I thought, you know, that wasn't very cutting, that wasn't too cutting. So you know, he was obviously not one to sort of use a lot of swear words, but he was ageful. So my whole nervous system was like and then Dad foul face first onto the road. All the traffic had to stop. He's bleeding. We can't get him up because he's incapable of getting himself up without lots of support. People came flocking. I could have just cried. I could have just balled my eyes out, but I'm like, okay, regulate now, it's not the time. Cry later. You know, Mum's there and everyone's helping, and we saw it all out. And then I had a cry to Pete on the way home from you know, to pick up the kids. And I think, with the way life is, if we can develop this acceptance the we're not really meant to be happy all the time.

Oh it really doesn't. One of the things that I find hard and I wonder if you know people listening can relate or if you can relate toive. But I kind of feel like I'm constantly changing hats, like and I'll never forget. One of my beautiful friends Christy said to me when I was when I was a new mum sixteen years ago, nearly seventeen years ago, wowses. She said, you have to get used to being able to take one hat off and put off another, even though you might not want to take the hat you're wearing off. You might not have finished the task you're doing. You might be in the middle of something and all of a sudden, that hat, whether you like it or not, you got to take it off and put on the parenting hat. And I feel like I've got so many damn hats at the moment. Like you know, I was telling you earlier on the phone today, Yesterday I did my presentation, felt really good, good feedback, then caught up with my parents for lunch, which was unplanned, a bit of stuff going on there, So I caught up with them for lunch, and then just as we were leaving, like I felt like I've done I'm doing my exercise, like I'm good presentation you know, just sort of feeling like, oh, my duck's are feeling like they're in the same pond, and lovely lunch. Good to see mom and Dad. Felt like I'd ticked the kind of you know, dutiful daughter thing off, even though I adore them, know. But and then as we were leaving, there was a road rage incident. As we were crossing the road because we're very slow. Dad's very very slow, and we really had all the space and time we needed, except this driver decided to make a beeline for us and accelerate and then abuse us for taking so long to cross the road, and then unfortunately Dad fell and so just in an instant, you you know, just and that's kind of the way. Like obviously it was shocking, it was upsetting. People came flocking so this one, you know what, Like I try not to swear too much, you know, I mean I do occasionally, but I've said some fairly unpleasant things about this person. But just that rage in this person. He said to my dad, I hope you get run over when he left, you know, when he took off in his car. And he's obviously got a lot of problems, that fella. But just the way, like the day can just turn. And I think that one of the things that I sort of practice personally and share in my work is really at the heart of it is psychological flexibility. Coming back to what we were saying earlier, and that part of it is acceptance. And I used to misunderstand acceptance and forgiveness. I used to think forgiveness meant what the person did was okay, and that you're kind of saying, oh, that wasn't such a big deal, whereas it's actually me letting go of the hurt. By forgiving the person does not mean you're condoning it. Might never want to see them again. I don't accept what you did. I don't like what you did. I don't condone it. I never want to happen to happen again. I might never want to see you again, or maybe I will, But I forgive you is about me and letting go so that I'm not carrying that hurt and that heartbreak. I can let go of it, put a line under it. And acceptance is kind of it is what it is. I don't have to like it. And one of the things about developing psychological flexibility, which I've worked on a lot with my own through doing that the training and then applying it to yourself myself and teaching it in my work, and just because when we hold onto things that have happened that are really painful and hurtful, and it's not easy to let go. I'm not saying for a minute, you know, like I know you've experienced a huge amount of trauma that's sort of different but incidental day to day stuff and also big stuff like yesterday. Well, I can't change what happened, but what I can do is I mean, it's certainly it sent me into fight or flight in the most instinctive way. And this fella yelled, and I tell you what I yelled back. The worst insult he threw at me was his stupid deal And I thought, you know, that wasn't very cutting, that wasn't too cutting. So you know, he was obviously not one to sort of use a lot of swear words, but he was ageful. So my whole nervous system was like and then Dad foul face first onto the road. All the traffic had to stop. He's bleeding. We can't get him up because he's incapable of getting himself up without lots of support. People came flocking. I could have just cried. I could have just balled my eyes out, but I'm like, okay, regulate now, it's not the time. Cry later. You know, Mum's there and everyone's helping, and we saw it all out. And then I had a cry to Pete on the way home from you know, to pick up the kids. And I think, with the way life is, if we can develop this acceptance the we're not really meant to be happy all the time.

We are.

We are.

We are human, we are fallible, we have hearts that break, we have bodies that hurt, we have challenges with family and friends, and that it's like a big ride, and it's like a roller coaster. Sometimes you're going up and sometimes you're coming down, and sometimes you're gliding a little bit. Gliding's good, but it's not the norm. Gliding is not the norm. And I'm trying to be more accepting of all the kind of the hats that I have to wear and letting one hat go in, putting the other on when I need to, and trying to do what's most important right now. But you know, you still can't help. But think of all the things you haven't done things that are undone that you have to kind of get back to. But I think the more we can become accepting of that, I personally have found the more I'm accepting that that it's just kind of the way life is as an adult, the easier I found it.

We are human, we are fallible, we have hearts that break, we have bodies that hurt, we have challenges with family and friends, and that it's like a big ride, and it's like a roller coaster. Sometimes you're going up and sometimes you're coming down, and sometimes you're gliding a little bit. Gliding's good, but it's not the norm. Gliding is not the norm. And I'm trying to be more accepting of all the kind of the hats that I have to wear and letting one hat go in, putting the other on when I need to, and trying to do what's most important right now. But you know, you still can't help. But think of all the things you haven't done things that are undone that you have to kind of get back to. But I think the more we can become accepting of that, I personally have found the more I'm accepting that that it's just kind of the way life is as an adult, the easier I found it.

I love that I've been. I've had a little personal mantra to myself lately of be where you are, because I'm so guilty of rushing and striving, and like rushing and striving and rushing and striving and the next thing and the next thing, and if we get here, we've got to get further. And it's like, just just be where you are, because for a start, once upon a time, where you are right now was some pipe dream. Like it was a pipe, it was a dream, it was on your vision board. It was something you went, Wow, wouldn't that be amazing? And now you're here, you think it's garbage and you think you've got to hurry up and get somewhere better. And so I'll say it to myself sometimes out loud, be where you are, be doing this right now, Be shit at it, yes, you know, like just be at it and sit at this piano and tink away and be what you are and where you are right now.

I love that I've been. I've had a little personal mantra to myself lately of be where you are, because I'm so guilty of rushing and striving, and like rushing and striving and rushing and striving and the next thing and the next thing, and if we get here, we've got to get further. And it's like, just just be where you are, because for a start, once upon a time, where you are right now was some pipe dream. Like it was a pipe, it was a dream, it was on your vision board. It was something you went, Wow, wouldn't that be amazing? And now you're here, you think it's garbage and you think you've got to hurry up and get somewhere better. And so I'll say it to myself sometimes out loud, be where you are, be doing this right now, Be shit at it, yes, you know, like just be at it and sit at this piano and tink away and be what you are and where you are right now.

T if it is such, it is so important for us all because you know that my friend once told me of this watch that said it didn't have the time. She said, now, what's the time? Now? What's the time? Now? I love that. It's so good, isn't it? And yes, and we we do, we do know like the time traveling that that our minds do is ever present. We're either reflecting on like I keep going back to that vision of what happened yesterday and that experience, and then I'm I'm I've got Dusty asleep beside me, and he's got all sorts of issues going on. He needs ear drops and medication and like for three weeks and I'm thinking, I've got to do his ear drops. He's not going to like it. I've got to tie off those of he said. And when we go backward or forwards, we are so less, so much less happy than when we are. Our attention is on what we're doing, like what you were saying, And sometimes it's an uncomfortable place because there's uncertainty. And I've got to sign up on my wall here it says you get better at what you practice, and everything is practice. I read that somewhere and I'm like, after, write that down and stick it on my wall, because we sort of look to the future when we are proficient at something, or we achieve a certain professional goal or personal goal or milestone or income or particular job with a particular client or a particular podcast guest. And yet the minute that happens, we're looking. We move the goalposts and the mind. And yet we're so caught up in the spinning, you know, the world spinning. That taking time to practice, putting our attention on one thing in the moment and training our attention that way feels like I don't have time for that. I've got too much to do. So it's easy to see how we get here. Yet we're probably the envy of so many. I mean, we are the envy the life we live here, you know. And I sometimes say to the kids, I don't know if I've said it to you before, Tiff, but like, we have a modest home. We live in a really nice neighborhood.

T if it is such, it is so important for us all because you know that my friend once told me of this watch that said it didn't have the time. She said, now, what's the time? Now? What's the time? Now? I love that. It's so good, isn't it? And yes, and we we do, we do know like the time traveling that that our minds do is ever present. We're either reflecting on like I keep going back to that vision of what happened yesterday and that experience, and then I'm I'm I've got Dusty asleep beside me, and he's got all sorts of issues going on. He needs ear drops and medication and like for three weeks and I'm thinking, I've got to do his ear drops. He's not going to like it. I've got to tie off those of he said. And when we go backward or forwards, we are so less, so much less happy than when we are. Our attention is on what we're doing, like what you were saying, And sometimes it's an uncomfortable place because there's uncertainty. And I've got to sign up on my wall here it says you get better at what you practice, and everything is practice. I read that somewhere and I'm like, after, write that down and stick it on my wall, because we sort of look to the future when we are proficient at something, or we achieve a certain professional goal or personal goal or milestone or income or particular job with a particular client or a particular podcast guest. And yet the minute that happens, we're looking. We move the goalposts and the mind. And yet we're so caught up in the spinning, you know, the world spinning. That taking time to practice, putting our attention on one thing in the moment and training our attention that way feels like I don't have time for that. I've got too much to do. So it's easy to see how we get here. Yet we're probably the envy of so many. I mean, we are the envy the life we live here, you know. And I sometimes say to the kids, I don't know if I've said it to you before, Tiff, but like, we have a modest home. We live in a really nice neighborhood.

You know.

You know.

We have one four of us, Peter and me and a sixteen and a fourteen year old with one toilet in one bathroom, right, and we've been getting quotes for an extension and all that just to put on an on suite, just to get another woman toilet, and you know, there's paining to be done and things. But I say to the kids, we are rich beyond measure. We are rich beyond me compared to most people. We've got safety, roof over our heads, food on the table, access to resources, access to education, access to medicine, and what we have is enough. It really is enough. We don't need anymore. So we need to get clear about why we're doing what we're doing. And I'm doing it just like you are. Most of us are this toxic striving. I heard on a podcast as an expression today like that. But I do think what you were saying about gratitude, tell me more about how you've been feeling about gratitude, because I think, I mean, that's definitely part of the answer. I'm sure of it.

We have one four of us, Peter and me and a sixteen and a fourteen year old with one toilet in one bathroom, right, and we've been getting quotes for an extension and all that just to put on an on suite, just to get another woman toilet, and you know, there's paining to be done and things. But I say to the kids, we are rich beyond measure. We are rich beyond me compared to most people. We've got safety, roof over our heads, food on the table, access to resources, access to education, access to medicine, and what we have is enough. It really is enough. We don't need anymore. So we need to get clear about why we're doing what we're doing. And I'm doing it just like you are. Most of us are this toxic striving. I heard on a podcast as an expression today like that. But I do think what you were saying about gratitude, tell me more about how you've been feeling about gratitude, because I think, I mean, that's definitely part of the answer. I'm sure of it.

Yeah, I think, like if just the idea that if I don't feel grateful, intrinsically grateful for what I have now, I'll never ever feel grateful. I'll never feel happy with what I have because I have so much. Like I said, I was training my friend of mine this morning, and I said, I, as we're having this conversation, that's what I do. I'd like to have the same conversation with a million people and get their thoughts like it, you know, like I have a roof over my head and I don't struggle to pay the rent, and I get to have two pets, and if something happens, I can pay the vet bill, and I can put fuel in my car. And if I want to go out, if someone invited me for a dinner this week and expensive dinner, I could say yes, I'd no doubt tell it, potentially tell a story or have a port. I can't afford that story, definitely, But and that story for me, there's something underlying that that insecurity, that fear of loss, that fear of not being okay. I think it's tied in with abandonment, It's tied in with manipulation from people. It's tied in with experiences that have happened, and this hyper independence that I have become, which is cool. But you know the first thing I said to you when we hopped on the call before before we hit record, I was like, ah, just sometimes world feels like a merry go round and you just want to just want it to stop for a second so you can sit still, But it doesn't stop. It's like the ride that doesn't stop. And that's sometimes, you know, that's what the focus is on, rather than hey, you get to do anything, like yeah, imagine me and I want to pause, not even imagine, like we can. What a ridiculous thing to say, That's what I mean. It's like, which, if you can pause, all of the things that happen in your life are your choice, yes, which I believe some people. I believe that's true of everyone and everything. Everything is a choice. Some choices aren't easy to make. But we have priorities, whether we and if we can see that and admit that, so I go, well, yeah I could. I could probably go and go on a big six month trip around the world right now. But my choice is stability. My choice is to know that for the foreseeable future, I have security and financial means and food on the table, and if I did so, it's a choice. Yeah, it's not I can't afford or I can't do that, but I it's when my language gets in the way. That was a big rant that probably wasn't even on gratitude, Like you asked.

Yeah, I think, like if just the idea that if I don't feel grateful, intrinsically grateful for what I have now, I'll never ever feel grateful. I'll never feel happy with what I have because I have so much. Like I said, I was training my friend of mine this morning, and I said, I, as we're having this conversation, that's what I do. I'd like to have the same conversation with a million people and get their thoughts like it, you know, like I have a roof over my head and I don't struggle to pay the rent, and I get to have two pets, and if something happens, I can pay the vet bill, and I can put fuel in my car. And if I want to go out, if someone invited me for a dinner this week and expensive dinner, I could say yes, I'd no doubt tell it, potentially tell a story or have a port. I can't afford that story, definitely, But and that story for me, there's something underlying that that insecurity, that fear of loss, that fear of not being okay. I think it's tied in with abandonment, It's tied in with manipulation from people. It's tied in with experiences that have happened, and this hyper independence that I have become, which is cool. But you know the first thing I said to you when we hopped on the call before before we hit record, I was like, ah, just sometimes world feels like a merry go round and you just want to just want it to stop for a second so you can sit still, But it doesn't stop. It's like the ride that doesn't stop. And that's sometimes, you know, that's what the focus is on, rather than hey, you get to do anything, like yeah, imagine me and I want to pause, not even imagine, like we can. What a ridiculous thing to say, That's what I mean. It's like, which, if you can pause, all of the things that happen in your life are your choice, yes, which I believe some people. I believe that's true of everyone and everything. Everything is a choice. Some choices aren't easy to make. But we have priorities, whether we and if we can see that and admit that, so I go, well, yeah I could. I could probably go and go on a big six month trip around the world right now. But my choice is stability. My choice is to know that for the foreseeable future, I have security and financial means and food on the table, and if I did so, it's a choice. Yeah, it's not I can't afford or I can't do that, but I it's when my language gets in the way. That was a big rant that probably wasn't even on gratitude, Like you asked.

Oh, it doesn't it doesn't matter. But I think, I think what you've arrived at. I remember my psychologist, I remember when I was Teaching's funny you know that. I was just back at Peninsula Grammy yesterday. Oh my goodness. I saw so many former students who are working there. It was delightful. Honestly, it was just they've got their own families now. Anyway, another tangent, But I remember when I was teaching, and I essentially, if your listeners aren't familiar kind of with my mental health journey, essentially I can trace my anxiety back to starting at about the age of four in prep, and by the time I was twenty five, my nervous system was just like, ah, sorry, I can't do this anymore. And I ended up with major depressive disorder out so total shut down nervous system and clawed my way back out of that with a lot of help, friends, family, therapy, medication, and lots of cuddles with my pets and lots of tears. And when I was sort of coming sort of through my depression, I was back at school, I was back teaching, and I was like, ah, this isn't enough for me, This is not I see the world so differently now. I'd had a tutor read CUPAI, you know, shiny reds sports car, and I thought that was like the you know, happiness on wheels kind of thing. And all of a sudden, I'm like, I don't care about the car. I don't care about clothes, I don't care about stuff. I just I just care that I have my mental health back. And I just started to see the world so differently, and I started to think, well, if clearly I had all the boxes ticked, great job, still living at home, so you know, that was something that I was. I eventually obviously moved out. But when you sort of think of the measures of success, good education roof over my head, good job, disposal of income, you know, I had a shiny red car and a partner and all of the sort of things that i'd aspired to, good health and good friends, good physical health. And if I have all of these boxes ticked and can end up feeling so hopeless, I do not care if I wake up, I do not care. Please just don't let me wake up, because it is I feel so hopeless and so miserable. There is just darkness. I started to sort of think, well, how if I've got all of this going on and I still feel like that, then this doesn't really mean as much or matter as much as I thought it did. And I think we do. We think the measure of success ticking those kinds of boxes. And of course, you know, it feels good to achieve things. It's very much a contributed to our well being, but it's not everything. And having stuff we know just leads to wanting more stuff because we get adapted to it. And I remember sort of that was kind of my that was kind of what led me to go, well, I study the happiness of Science of Happiness, and I went and worked for Beyond Blue. But at the time I was at school teaching, and I was just feeling like, having all these feels and all these thoughts, and I was finding it really hard to show up every day. And my psychologist he said to me, could you resign tomorrow, maybe finish the term a few weeks out, finish term three or whatever, And still managed to actually, at this stage I think Pete and I were here here, still managed to pay the mortgage. Sorry, the timeline's so blurry because it was all a blur, but anyway, could still could you still survive? Basically, could you resign tomorrow? Would you survive? And I said, actually yes, and he said, so you could quit and I said yes. And he said do you want to quit tomorrow? And I said no, And he's like why not? And I'm like, well, because I'm not sure where I'm going, and so I think it's good and so he said, So what I really want you to remember is you have a choice here, So he said, going to work every day, showing up, doing what you're doing is a choice, he said, And you can make a different choice if you want to, but right now you are making a choice to do this. And it so where you arrived at with that was like that was where I was, you know, coached through my therapy to come to and it was so powerful because I think when we feel backed into a corner and we feel like we don't have an option, yes, it can be really hard. And like you said earlier too, sometimes the choices are really really hard, like feeling possibly hard. You know, we know it's not always simple, but yeah, it's a really nice way to start looking at things. What choices do I actually have here? Am I as beholden to my circumstances as I think I am? Possibly not?

Oh, it doesn't it doesn't matter. But I think, I think what you've arrived at. I remember my psychologist, I remember when I was Teaching's funny you know that. I was just back at Peninsula Grammy yesterday. Oh my goodness. I saw so many former students who are working there. It was delightful. Honestly, it was just they've got their own families now. Anyway, another tangent, But I remember when I was teaching, and I essentially, if your listeners aren't familiar kind of with my mental health journey, essentially I can trace my anxiety back to starting at about the age of four in prep, and by the time I was twenty five, my nervous system was just like, ah, sorry, I can't do this anymore. And I ended up with major depressive disorder out so total shut down nervous system and clawed my way back out of that with a lot of help, friends, family, therapy, medication, and lots of cuddles with my pets and lots of tears. And when I was sort of coming sort of through my depression, I was back at school, I was back teaching, and I was like, ah, this isn't enough for me, This is not I see the world so differently now. I'd had a tutor read CUPAI, you know, shiny reds sports car, and I thought that was like the you know, happiness on wheels kind of thing. And all of a sudden, I'm like, I don't care about the car. I don't care about clothes, I don't care about stuff. I just I just care that I have my mental health back. And I just started to see the world so differently, and I started to think, well, if clearly I had all the boxes ticked, great job, still living at home, so you know, that was something that I was. I eventually obviously moved out. But when you sort of think of the measures of success, good education roof over my head, good job, disposal of income, you know, I had a shiny red car and a partner and all of the sort of things that i'd aspired to, good health and good friends, good physical health. And if I have all of these boxes ticked and can end up feeling so hopeless, I do not care if I wake up, I do not care. Please just don't let me wake up, because it is I feel so hopeless and so miserable. There is just darkness. I started to sort of think, well, how if I've got all of this going on and I still feel like that, then this doesn't really mean as much or matter as much as I thought it did. And I think we do. We think the measure of success ticking those kinds of boxes. And of course, you know, it feels good to achieve things. It's very much a contributed to our well being, but it's not everything. And having stuff we know just leads to wanting more stuff because we get adapted to it. And I remember sort of that was kind of my that was kind of what led me to go, well, I study the happiness of Science of Happiness, and I went and worked for Beyond Blue. But at the time I was at school teaching, and I was just feeling like, having all these feels and all these thoughts, and I was finding it really hard to show up every day. And my psychologist he said to me, could you resign tomorrow, maybe finish the term a few weeks out, finish term three or whatever, And still managed to actually, at this stage I think Pete and I were here here, still managed to pay the mortgage. Sorry, the timeline's so blurry because it was all a blur, but anyway, could still could you still survive? Basically, could you resign tomorrow? Would you survive? And I said, actually yes, and he said, so you could quit and I said yes. And he said do you want to quit tomorrow? And I said no, And he's like why not? And I'm like, well, because I'm not sure where I'm going, and so I think it's good and so he said, So what I really want you to remember is you have a choice here, So he said, going to work every day, showing up, doing what you're doing is a choice, he said, And you can make a different choice if you want to, but right now you are making a choice to do this. And it so where you arrived at with that was like that was where I was, you know, coached through my therapy to come to and it was so powerful because I think when we feel backed into a corner and we feel like we don't have an option, yes, it can be really hard. And like you said earlier too, sometimes the choices are really really hard, like feeling possibly hard. You know, we know it's not always simple, but yeah, it's a really nice way to start looking at things. What choices do I actually have here? Am I as beholden to my circumstances as I think I am? Possibly not?

Yeah, I shared this on my story last night. Was a quote that I came across and I loved it, and it says, the worst place isn't the worst place to be isn't rock bottom. It's one step before it where things are not great but not bad enough to change. That's the trap, and that's where most people stay. And oh, like, I goosebumps every time I read that, And that is exactly you know, when I talk about that time the pandemic where I felt entirely backed in or corner and went, Okay, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna accept and plan that I am going to be bankrupt and will lose everything. And that's because then I'll just call that. I'll just adapt to that. Now then there's no uncertainty. And if that happens, then I'm already ready for it. So and I just I really thrive from a place of put me in the corner. I don't know if something switches on. I'm a fighter like that. It's like to give me rock bottom and I will make fucking I'll weave gold. But it was as I emerged from that and didn't didn't hit rock bottom bankruptcy it you know, then you have choices, then you have decisions. Then you have this tiny little bit of something that you might lose. And we're driven by loss more than we're driven by you know, moving gain what at times?

Yeah, I shared this on my story last night. Was a quote that I came across and I loved it, and it says, the worst place isn't the worst place to be isn't rock bottom. It's one step before it where things are not great but not bad enough to change. That's the trap, and that's where most people stay. And oh, like, I goosebumps every time I read that, And that is exactly you know, when I talk about that time the pandemic where I felt entirely backed in or corner and went, Okay, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna accept and plan that I am going to be bankrupt and will lose everything. And that's because then I'll just call that. I'll just adapt to that. Now then there's no uncertainty. And if that happens, then I'm already ready for it. So and I just I really thrive from a place of put me in the corner. I don't know if something switches on. I'm a fighter like that. It's like to give me rock bottom and I will make fucking I'll weave gold. But it was as I emerged from that and didn't didn't hit rock bottom bankruptcy it you know, then you have choices, then you have decisions. Then you have this tiny little bit of something that you might lose. And we're driven by loss more than we're driven by you know, moving gain what at times?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Gain? And it's it's so interesting, isn't it.

Gain? And it's it's so interesting, isn't it.

It is. I do recall reading something or learning somewhere that we're more loss averse than we are gain oriented. We'd rather yeah, we'd rather avoid losing something. We'd much rather avoid that than look to gain something. I'm not probably explaining that very well, but we are more loss of verse. Yes, Okay, I'll let that go because I can't quite think of the exact phrase.

It is. I do recall reading something or learning somewhere that we're more loss averse than we are gain oriented. We'd rather yeah, we'd rather avoid losing something. We'd much rather avoid that than look to gain something. I'm not probably explaining that very well, but we are more loss of verse. Yes, Okay, I'll let that go because I can't quite think of the exact phrase.

But I love it because I'm always terrible at wording things. I can have with you saying something, I'm like, I can't get this right. So this makes me feel good. I feel like outdated.

But I love it because I'm always terrible at wording things. I can have with you saying something, I'm like, I can't get this right. So this makes me feel good. I feel like outdated.

I did learn that I'm sort of I feel like I'm through the perimenopause journey now. My doctor tells me I'm completely on the other side of it. But I was so relieved when a guest of mine on my podcast talking about it she said that losing your words is a symptom of perimids. Pause, and I'm like, oh my gosh, thank you, because I was really starting to worry about my brain. So yeah, like literally going, I know, I know the word for this.

I did learn that I'm sort of I feel like I'm through the perimenopause journey now. My doctor tells me I'm completely on the other side of it. But I was so relieved when a guest of mine on my podcast talking about it she said that losing your words is a symptom of perimids. Pause, and I'm like, oh my gosh, thank you, because I was really starting to worry about my brain. So yeah, like literally going, I know, I know the word for this.

But.

But.

It's completely eluding me. So yeah, it's anyway, that's okay, we can find other words.

It's completely eluding me. So yeah, it's anyway, that's okay, we can find other words.

When last night in my in my coaching session, I talked about one of my favorite topics, and that was fun. Do you do you plan fun in your life? How much fun do you have for you, not for your not like I'll do this for the kids, Like how much does hey, Jody's going to go have some fun. How much does that come into your planning?

When last night in my in my coaching session, I talked about one of my favorite topics, and that was fun. Do you do you plan fun in your life? How much fun do you have for you, not for your not like I'll do this for the kids, Like how much does hey, Jody's going to go have some fun. How much does that come into your planning?

And oh, not enough? Now that you've asked me the question, Now pickleball comes to mind as a family before we went and played pickleball, but you said not about the family, but more about me.

And oh, not enough? Now that you've asked me the question, Now pickleball comes to mind as a family before we went and played pickleball, but you said not about the family, but more about me.

For you too. But I guess it comes down to, yeah that your intent, like are you doing that for you or are you doing that for everyone else?

For you too. But I guess it comes down to, yeah that your intent, like are you doing that for you or are you doing that for everyone else?

And yeah, really not enough, come to think of it. One of the things I don't know if I would have sort of said it was fun, but one of the things I love to do on a hot day is just getting the water. Yeah, And so oh, stand up paddle boarding like is something that I love. That's a lot of fun. I really enjoy that. I'm building my balance as I mean, I'm a very good sit down and I've got a balance. Maybe maybe it's not as good as I thought it.

And yeah, really not enough, come to think of it. One of the things I don't know if I would have sort of said it was fun, but one of the things I love to do on a hot day is just getting the water. Yeah, And so oh, stand up paddle boarding like is something that I love. That's a lot of fun. I really enjoy that. I'm building my balance as I mean, I'm a very good sit down and I've got a balance. Maybe maybe it's not as good as I thought it.

Was, but they're just rowing. If you're sitting down on the paddle board. Is that a different thing? Oh my gosh, probably probably, But that is a lot of fun for me and.

Was, but they're just rowing. If you're sitting down on the paddle board. Is that a different thing? Oh my gosh, probably probably, But that is a lot of fun for me and.

Macro and I we were, oh my gosh, we the last time I remember laughing until my face hurt. We were out off Davy's Bay down here, and we were on the paddle board together and then we started doing like back dives off off the pedal board. So like it's so unstable as you can well imagine on the border. So one of us would sort of straddle it and sit at one end, and then the other would sort of climb on and do some back diving, and we fell and you know, just like just hit the water so many times in so many ridiculous ways. But every now and again we'd land, you know, we'd get our hands to hit the water first, Yeah, so now that you've asked me that question, this probably it's probably something else that I need more of. And I love that it's part of your program because yeah, well we're always like talking about regulating emotions, coming down anxiety, reducing stress, reducing burnout. Like, but hey, where's the great stuff, where's all the positive emotions that make such a difference to how we enjoy our days and our life.

Macro and I we were, oh my gosh, we the last time I remember laughing until my face hurt. We were out off Davy's Bay down here, and we were on the paddle board together and then we started doing like back dives off off the pedal board. So like it's so unstable as you can well imagine on the border. So one of us would sort of straddle it and sit at one end, and then the other would sort of climb on and do some back diving, and we fell and you know, just like just hit the water so many times in so many ridiculous ways. But every now and again we'd land, you know, we'd get our hands to hit the water first, Yeah, so now that you've asked me that question, this probably it's probably something else that I need more of. And I love that it's part of your program because yeah, well we're always like talking about regulating emotions, coming down anxiety, reducing stress, reducing burnout. Like, but hey, where's the great stuff, where's all the positive emotions that make such a difference to how we enjoy our days and our life.

Well, yeah, and like, what is the point? What's the point of it all? What is the point if we're not having fun at the same time that the whole problem? What was interesting, Like because I did it the same I had a week on that in the last program, but this time I went I really I don't know if it was just a switch in my brain, but just the idea. I went in and looked at all of the science around happiness and fun and what it does for us. Right, it's literally the antidote to all our fucking problems. So it releases dopamine, it releases oxytocin, it releases all the good stuff into our system. Two weeks before, we talked about some of the social and environmental influences. We talked about social contagion, right, so when you walk into a room or emotional contagion is I think it's the term, sorry, emotional contagions. So I'm like, to not have fun, to not focus on you having fun in your life is probably not. Probably is definitely one of the most fucking selfish things you can do, because you don't get all of that amazing biochemistry and then you walk into a room with your shit cocktail concoction of fucking stress and anxiety that could be riddled with oxytocin and serotonin and dopamine, and you're just not your best self. Yeah, but we're so it's funny. We feel guilty when we have fun. We feel guilty. We put boundaries around it. I can do that. If I can't do that, I've done too much this week, Like I've got all these rules as well. I'm like, yeah, twitch off. I think that's why I end up in such a profound place when I go when I went to the Himalayas, or when I go away and there's no boundaries or familiarity. It's like this the point is just fun now.

Well, yeah, and like, what is the point? What's the point of it all? What is the point if we're not having fun at the same time that the whole problem? What was interesting, Like because I did it the same I had a week on that in the last program, but this time I went I really I don't know if it was just a switch in my brain, but just the idea. I went in and looked at all of the science around happiness and fun and what it does for us. Right, it's literally the antidote to all our fucking problems. So it releases dopamine, it releases oxytocin, it releases all the good stuff into our system. Two weeks before, we talked about some of the social and environmental influences. We talked about social contagion, right, so when you walk into a room or emotional contagion is I think it's the term, sorry, emotional contagions. So I'm like, to not have fun, to not focus on you having fun in your life is probably not. Probably is definitely one of the most fucking selfish things you can do, because you don't get all of that amazing biochemistry and then you walk into a room with your shit cocktail concoction of fucking stress and anxiety that could be riddled with oxytocin and serotonin and dopamine, and you're just not your best self. Yeah, but we're so it's funny. We feel guilty when we have fun. We feel guilty. We put boundaries around it. I can do that. If I can't do that, I've done too much this week, Like I've got all these rules as well. I'm like, yeah, twitch off. I think that's why I end up in such a profound place when I go when I went to the Himalayas, or when I go away and there's no boundaries or familiarity. It's like this the point is just fun now.

I think it's because I think we can easily get sort of bogged down in the busyness of life and forget to kind of look up and go, why are we doing all of this? Yeah, like the whole point of work is to live, not the other way around. And yeah, and it's you know, especially with AI, like it's such a it's such a time saver, like the things I'm getting through, but the thing is, and it creates more time for me just do other things.

I think it's because I think we can easily get sort of bogged down in the busyness of life and forget to kind of look up and go, why are we doing all of this? Yeah, like the whole point of work is to live, not the other way around. And yeah, and it's you know, especially with AI, like it's such a it's such a time saver, like the things I'm getting through, but the thing is, and it creates more time for me just do other things.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so you know, with the age of you know, information technology and all of our I'm older than you, Tiff, I've seen a lot of I mean, I was talking to Mac the other day about how we used a mailways in the car to get around and yeah, our eyes were like what.

And so you know, with the age of you know, information technology and all of our I'm older than you, Tiff, I've seen a lot of I mean, I was talking to Mac the other day about how we used a mailways in the car to get around and yeah, our eyes were like what.

I think of that sometimes? And like I remember those days.

I think of that sometimes? And like I remember those days.

Oh my gosh. Interesting the spatial navigation parts of our brains and not developing why they are growing the way they once were because we just rely on our sat nav and younger people tend not to have those instinctive kind of orientation skills about which ways which and how do I get from here to there? Yeah, anyway, I digress. Yes, with all of that, you know the age of computers and everything was all about oh, such timesaver, such timesaver. But it's just ended up all of us, not all of us, no generalizations here, but a lot of us have ended up just well fitting more into the time we've got it, as if as if somehow we're not enough, if we're not being productive or busy. Yeah, and I think it's really good these conversation Like this is such a good conversation for me because like fun is awesome, and there's so like it doesn't even have to cost money, Like there's so much that you can do to have a good time, and it doesn't have to be for our it doesn't have to be involve a lot of travel. It can literally be being really silly at home and you know, playing some games at home, doing some you know, planning a praying call, lots of stuff, Like there's so much you can do. So yeah, thank you for asking me. Sorry I didn't have I mean, I'm sorry for myself that I didn't have a better answer for you.

Oh my gosh. Interesting the spatial navigation parts of our brains and not developing why they are growing the way they once were because we just rely on our sat nav and younger people tend not to have those instinctive kind of orientation skills about which ways which and how do I get from here to there? Yeah, anyway, I digress. Yes, with all of that, you know the age of computers and everything was all about oh, such timesaver, such timesaver. But it's just ended up all of us, not all of us, no generalizations here, but a lot of us have ended up just well fitting more into the time we've got it, as if as if somehow we're not enough, if we're not being productive or busy. Yeah, and I think it's really good these conversation Like this is such a good conversation for me because like fun is awesome, and there's so like it doesn't even have to cost money, Like there's so much that you can do to have a good time, and it doesn't have to be for our it doesn't have to be involve a lot of travel. It can literally be being really silly at home and you know, playing some games at home, doing some you know, planning a praying call, lots of stuff, Like there's so much you can do. So yeah, thank you for asking me. Sorry I didn't have I mean, I'm sorry for myself that I didn't have a better answer for you.

Well, it's just even just the idea of novelty as well, like doing something novel, because even once fun becomes a routine, the fun thing can There was a study that I was listening to a podcast or what might have been actually want have been listening to my own I did two podcasts with Mike Rucker, and he wrote The fun Habit, and so he studied funnies an academic and that he references a research paper where they had two groups of people, I can't remember if they were kids or not irrelevant, but two groups of people and they were drawing, and then half of them they incentivized financially to draw, and the other ones they didn't. And the ones who were incentivized lost the intrinsic motivation to draw. So that's one that's one of the reasons when I chose piano was a new hobby. I was like, find something that's really different, find something that's not fitness tip, find something that doesn't feel familiar to your circle of friends, and find something that can't become some sort of commercial part of your identity. I commercialized so much. It's like, oh, I love boxing, I'll be do boxing coaching.

Well, it's just even just the idea of novelty as well, like doing something novel, because even once fun becomes a routine, the fun thing can There was a study that I was listening to a podcast or what might have been actually want have been listening to my own I did two podcasts with Mike Rucker, and he wrote The fun Habit, and so he studied funnies an academic and that he references a research paper where they had two groups of people, I can't remember if they were kids or not irrelevant, but two groups of people and they were drawing, and then half of them they incentivized financially to draw, and the other ones they didn't. And the ones who were incentivized lost the intrinsic motivation to draw. So that's one that's one of the reasons when I chose piano was a new hobby. I was like, find something that's really different, find something that's not fitness tip, find something that doesn't feel familiar to your circle of friends, and find something that can't become some sort of commercial part of your identity. I commercialized so much. It's like, oh, I love boxing, I'll be do boxing coaching.

And I was like, yeah, yeah.

And I was like, yeah, yeah.

And I know when I was sketching a few years ago, and I loved that was so good, real quick. But then every a few times I'd put things up and people would ask if I would do a commission for them, and I immediately was like, eh, no, I don't want I don't want to because this is this is for me. And then then it becomes a thing that I couldn't put I can't even net right now put words to the feeling that that gave me. But I was like, I don't want to do that. You can't It feels like you're trying to take something away from me. Yeah for that.

And I know when I was sketching a few years ago, and I loved that was so good, real quick. But then every a few times I'd put things up and people would ask if I would do a commission for them, and I immediately was like, eh, no, I don't want I don't want to because this is this is for me. And then then it becomes a thing that I couldn't put I can't even net right now put words to the feeling that that gave me. But I was like, I don't want to do that. You can't It feels like you're trying to take something away from me. Yeah for that.

Yes, it's this idea of doing something just for the sake of doing it. Yeah, just for the sake of doing it. And you reminded me that I have been learning piano. And then there was a problem with my Simply Piano subscription and I had to upgrade. But I honestly, I was a bit miffed at the cost, Like truly it was like going to be forty bucks a month. And then I was like, I don't know how committed are we, my daughter and me and you know, with all of the other subscriptions. And I ended up writing to them because I saw a different price online and they were really nice actually and said we'll give you a discount, so FYI, people's doesn't hurt to sort of reach out anyway. So I had to wait to the other subscription ran out, so I have had a couple of weeks off or probably three weeks off not playing because I had to wait for that to happen, I think on the fourteenth of March. But I'd let go of that because I was in this holding phase. But that I've been really enjoying and it's just so good for our brains. But this idea I think of just doing something for the sake of it. Like our daughter, she does the most magnificent henna designs. She's so talented. She'll do them like up the arm and up. They're just absolutely stunning. Whenever she's done it on me, people have commented, have you been to a wedding? You know, have you been to an Indian wedding or something. I'm like, no, no, and even me like look at me. I'm sort of like you could actually set up a little store at the market and people would pay you to do that. She absolutely no, I just like doing it and like, actually, yes, stop it, Jody.