Are you familiar with the term “gaslighting?” Shan’s guest, Melissa Rivers, was a victim of it in her previous relationship - and she didn’t hesitate to share her experiences. In this episode, we learn about Melissa and Shan’s gaslighting experiences and the toxic impact it has had on them. Shan also brings in Dr. Barry Goldstein, a clinical psychologist, therapist, and consultant to reality-based production shows such as “Make Up or Break Up.” Dr. Barry provides clinical knowledge about gaslighting and tools to not only identify it; but challenge it as well.



Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody

Stay up to date with Shan and Lovers and Friends Casting: www.shanboodram.com/join



Follow Melissa Rivers on Instagram: www.instagram.com/melissariversofficial

Buy Melissa’s Latest Book: “Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman”

Listen to the #GroupText Podcast wherever you are listening to this podcast


Visit Dr. Barry Goldstein’s Website to learn more about his services: www.realityshrink.net

Are you familiar with the term “gaslighting?” Shan’s guest, Melissa Rivers, was a victim of it in her previous relationship - and she didn’t hesitate to share her experiences. In this episode, we learn about Melissa and Shan’s gaslighting experiences and the toxic impact it has had on them. Shan also brings in Dr. Barry Goldstein, a clinical psychologist, therapist, and consultant to reality-based production shows such as “Make Up or Break Up.” Dr. Barry provides clinical knowledge about gaslighting and tools to not only identify it; but challenge it as well. Follow Shan on Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/shanboody">www.instagram.com/shanboody</a>Stay up to date with Shan and Lovers and Friends Casting: <a href="https://www.shanboodram.com/join">www.shanboodram.com/join</a> Follow Melissa Rivers on Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/melissariversofficial">www.instagram.com/melissariversofficial</a>Buy Melissa’s Latest Book: “Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman”Listen to the #GroupText Podcast wherever you are listening to this podcast Visit Dr. Barry Goldstein’s Website to learn more about his services: <a href="https://www.realityshrink.net/">www.realityshrink.net</a>

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right.

Past guests include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.

When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.

Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media https://lemonadamedia.com/  

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram&rsquo;s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right. Past guests include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away. When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.
Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media <a href="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-stringify-link="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-sk="tooltip_parent">https://lemonadamedia.com/</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;

LOVERS by shan

LOVERS by Shan

My Ex Was a Gaslighter  w/ Melissa Rivers

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.squarespace.com/LOVERS for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use CODE: LOVERS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Sex is a skill, and you can learn how to be the best lover in bed! Join Beducated today at https://beducate.me/loversapril. 



Lots of love to our sponsor, Quince. Go to Quince.com/LOVERS for free shipping and 365-day returns.

------------------- 

In this episode of Lovers, Kamie Crawford returns for a third time, and this time, she’s engaged.

When Kamie first came on the podcast, she was coming out of a very public breakup and rebuilding her life from the ground up. In her second appearance, she shared a mindset that sparked a lot of conversation: “I’m not a girlfriend, I want to be a wife.” She was dating with intention, holding high standards, and refusing to entertain anything that didn’t align with the life she actually wanted.

People had a lot to say. Some called it unrealistic. Others said her standards were too high.

Now she’s back, engaged to the love of her life, in a relationship that didn’t just meet her standards but exceeded them.

In this conversation, we talk about what it looks like to hold your standards in dating, how to navigate criticism when people tell you you’re asking for too much, and why the language you use around love, marriage, and your future actually shapes what you experience.

Kamie shares how she approached dating with intention, why she refused to shrink her desires to be more “realistic,” and what happened when she chose to dream bigger instead.

If you’ve ever been told to lower your standards, questioned whether you’re asking for too much, or wondered if holding out for the kind of love you actually want is worth it, this episode is for you.

Watch our other interviews with Kamie Crawford on LOVERS:
2021: How to Look at a Breakup Differently → https://youtu.be/vSc0hF__y_4?si=E9u8zKsxdCEBbG8r
2023: This is What Happens When a Single Woman Turns 30 → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSc0hF__y_4

Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you’ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only


Follow Kamie Crawford
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/kamiecrawford/
Watch her podcast Relationshipshit → https://www.youtube.com/@relationshitpod
Website → https://www.kamiecrawford.com/ 


Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes 

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode. Head to <a href="http://www.squarespace.com/LOVERS">www.squarespace.com/LOVERS</a> for a free trial, and when you&rsquo;re ready to launch, use CODE: LOVERS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Sex is a skill, and you can learn how to be the best lover in bed! Join Beducated today at <a href="https://beducate.me/loversapril">https://beducate.me/loversapril</a>. 
Lots of love to our sponsor, Quince. Go to <a href="http://quince.com/LOVERS">Quince.com/LOVERS</a> for free shipping and 365-day returns.
-------------------&nbsp;
In this episode of Lovers, Kamie Crawford returns for a third time, and this time, she&rsquo;s engaged.
When Kamie first came on the podcast, she was coming out of a very public breakup and rebuilding her life from the ground up. In her second appearance, she shared a mindset that sparked a lot of conversation: &ldquo;I&rsquo;m not a girlfriend, I want to be a wife.&rdquo; She was dating with intention, holding high standards, and refusing to entertain anything that didn&rsquo;t align with the life she actually wanted.
People had a lot to say. Some called it unrealistic. Others said her standards were too high.
Now she&rsquo;s back, engaged to the love of her life, in a relationship that didn&rsquo;t just meet her standards but exceeded them.
In this conversation, we talk about what it looks like to hold your standards in dating, how to navigate criticism when people tell you you&rsquo;re asking for too much, and why the language you use around love, marriage, and your future actually shapes what you experience.
Kamie shares how she approached dating with intention, why she refused to shrink her desires to be more &ldquo;realistic,&rdquo; and what happened when she chose to dream bigger instead.
If you&rsquo;ve ever been told to lower your standards, questioned whether you&rsquo;re asking for too much, or wondered if holding out for the kind of love you actually want is worth it, this episode is for you. Watch our other interviews with Kamie Crawford on LOVERS: 2021: How to Look at a Breakup Differently &rarr; <a href="https://youtu.be/vSc0hF__y_4?si=E9u8zKsxdCEBbG8r">https://youtu.be/vSc0hF__y_4?si=E9u8zKsxdCEBbG8r</a> 2023: This is What Happens When a Single Woman Turns 30 &rarr; <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSc0hF__y_4">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSc0hF__y_4</a> Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you&rsquo;ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet &rarr;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only">https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only </a> Follow Kamie Crawford Instagram &rarr; <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kamiecrawford/">https://www.instagram.com/kamiecrawford/ </a>Watch her podcast Relationshipshit &rarr; <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@relationshitpod">https://www.youtube.com/@relationshitpod </a>Website &rarr; <a href="https://www.kamiecrawford.com/">https://www.kamiecrawford.com/</a>&nbsp;
 Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter </a>Join the Lovers Community &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community </a>Explore quizzes and worksheets &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes">http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes</a>&nbsp;

The Secret to Attracting a Husband, Not Just a Boyfriend ft. Kamie Crawford

Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode. Go to cozyearth.com/LOVERS for up to 20% off! 

Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/lovers. 

—

In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Lisa Bilyeu to talk about a decision a lot of women think about… but don’t always say out loud: what if you don’t want kids?

Lisa is an entrepreneur, co-founder of Quest Nutrition, and founder of Impact Theory Studios. She’s known for building billion-dollar businesses alongside her husband while also speaking openly about identity, marriage, and what it means to choose a life that actually fits you.

Lisa built a life that looked like the dream. Marriage, stability, and the role she thought she was supposed to want. For a long time, she even stepped into the idea of being a traditional wife. But over time, something didn’t sit right.

What happens when you realize the life you chose doesn’t actually fit you anymore?

We talk about what it looked like for Lisa to tell her husband that she didn’t want children, how they navigated being in a marriage where one partner wants kids and the other doesn’t, and why choosing to be child-free doesn’t mean something is missing, broken, or selfish.

This conversation challenges the idea that every woman is meant to become a mother, and unpacks the pressure many women feel around motherhood, marriage, and identity. We also explore what it means to redefine a successful relationship on your own terms, whether that includes children or not.

If you’ve ever questioned whether motherhood is for you, wondered how to tell your partner you don’t want kids, or felt conflicted about choosing career, independence, or a different kind of life, this episode is for you.


EXCLUSIVE LOVERS COMMUNITY RESOURCE
Need help starting a difficult conversation? Access our guided journal inside the LOVERS community: → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/navigating-change-hard-conversations-in-relationships-community-exclusive 



Follow Lisa Bilyeu

→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/
→ Watch & learn on Impact Theory: https://impacttheory.com/
→ Explore her personal website: https://lisabilyeu.com/
→ Listen to her podcast Women of Impact: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-of-impact/id1435217865
→ Get her book Radical Confidence: https://radicalconfidence.com/ 





Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes 

 

Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode. Go to <a href="http://cozyearth.com/LOVERS">cozyearth.com/LOVERS</a> for up to 20% off!&nbsp;
Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults:&nbsp;<a href="https://beducate.me/lovers">https://beducate.me/lovers</a>.&nbsp;
&mdash;
In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Lisa Bilyeu to talk about a decision a lot of women think about&hellip; but don&rsquo;t always say out loud: what if you don&rsquo;t want kids?
Lisa is an entrepreneur, co-founder of Quest Nutrition, and founder of Impact Theory Studios. She&rsquo;s known for building billion-dollar businesses alongside her husband while also speaking openly about identity, marriage, and what it means to choose a life that actually fits you.
Lisa built a life that looked like the dream. Marriage, stability, and the role she thought she was supposed to want. For a long time, she even stepped into the idea of being a traditional wife. But over time, something didn&rsquo;t sit right.
What happens when you realize the life you chose doesn&rsquo;t actually fit you anymore?
We talk about what it looked like for Lisa to tell her husband that she didn&rsquo;t want children, how they navigated being in a marriage where one partner wants kids and the other doesn&rsquo;t, and why choosing to be child-free doesn&rsquo;t mean something is missing, broken, or selfish.
This conversation challenges the idea that every woman is meant to become a mother, and unpacks the pressure many women feel around motherhood, marriage, and identity. We also explore what it means to redefine a successful relationship on your own terms, whether that includes children or not.
If you&rsquo;ve ever questioned whether motherhood is for you, wondered how to tell your partner you don&rsquo;t want kids, or felt conflicted about choosing career, independence, or a different kind of life, this episode is for you.
 EXCLUSIVE LOVERS COMMUNITY RESOURCE Need help starting a difficult conversation? Access our guided journal inside the LOVERS community: &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/navigating-change-hard-conversations-in-relationships-community-exclusive">https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/navigating-change-hard-conversations-in-relationships-community-exclusive</a>&nbsp; 
Follow Lisa Bilyeu
&rarr; Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/">https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/</a> &rarr; Watch &amp; learn on Impact Theory: <a href="https://impacttheory.com/">https://impacttheory.com/</a> &rarr; Explore her personal website: <a href="https://lisabilyeu.com/">https://lisabilyeu.com/</a> &rarr; Listen to her podcast Women of Impact: <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-of-impact/id1435217865">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-of-impact/id1435217865</a> &rarr; Get her book Radical Confidence: <a href="https://radicalconfidence.com/">https://radicalconfidence.com/</a>&nbsp;
 
Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter</a> Join the Lovers Community &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community</a> Explore quizzes and worksheets &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes">http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes</a>&nbsp;
&nbsp;

I Thought I Wanted to Be a Trad Wife… I Was Wrong ft. Lisa Bilyeu

Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com, then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount.

—
In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Aida Mariam Davis, author of Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom, to explore one question: Is your sex life by design?

We unpack the idea that so much of our sexual identity isn’t accidental, it’s constructed. From childhood messaging that disconnects us from our bodies, to adulthood expectations that swing between repression and performance, Aida breaks down how Western culture creates a fragmented relationship with intimacy. The result? A sex life that often feels confusing, isolating, or performative rather than intentional and embodied.

Together, we explore what it looks like to reclaim your sexuality on your own terms. Aida shares how her relationship with her husband was rooted in freedom, patience, and self-possession, not pressure or performance, and how that created the foundation for deeper intimacy, trust, and desire.

This conversation will challenge what you’ve been taught about sex, and invite you to design something that actually fits you.



Resources mentioned
→ What If Your Sex Life Is By Design? | Intimate Life Audit: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/what-if-your-sex-life-is-by-design-intimate-life-audit

→ A Guide to the Sexual Journey As We Grow: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/normal-sexual-development-from-0-18 



Follow Aida Mariam Davis
→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aidamariam/
→ Learn more about Decolonize Design: https://www.decolonizedesign.com/ 
→ Get her book Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom https://rep.club/products/kindred-creation?srsltid=AfmBOor4haNsPUvlYWcMk7oxSWdcmG-yZCTBeLjGtTDoFO_IaJXU_Jwj

 

Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com, then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount. &mdash; In this episode of Lovers, I&rsquo;m joined by Aida Mariam Davis, author of Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom, to explore one question: Is your sex life by design? We unpack the idea that so much of our sexual identity isn&rsquo;t accidental, it&rsquo;s constructed. From childhood messaging that disconnects us from our bodies, to adulthood expectations that swing between repression and performance, Aida breaks down how Western culture creates a fragmented relationship with intimacy. The result? A sex life that often feels confusing, isolating, or performative rather than intentional and embodied. Together, we explore what it looks like to reclaim your sexuality on your own terms. Aida shares how her relationship with her husband was rooted in freedom, patience, and self-possession, not pressure or performance, and how that created the foundation for deeper intimacy, trust, and desire. This conversation will challenge what you&rsquo;ve been taught about sex, and invite you to design something that actually fits you. 
Resources mentioned &rarr; What If Your Sex Life Is By Design? | Intimate Life Audit: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/what-if-your-sex-life-is-by-design-intimate-life-audit
&rarr; A Guide to the Sexual Journey As We Grow: <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/normal-sexual-development-from-0-18">https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/normal-sexual-development-from-0-18</a>&nbsp; 
Follow Aida Mariam Davis &rarr; Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/aidamariam/">https://www.instagram.com/aidamariam/</a> &rarr; Learn more about Decolonize Design: <a href="https://www.decolonizedesign.com/">https://www.decolonizedesign.com/</a>&nbsp; &rarr; Get her book Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom https://rep.club/products/kindred-creation?srsltid=AfmBOor4haNsPUvlYWcMk7oxSWdcmG-yZCTBeLjGtTDoFO_IaJXU_Jwj
&nbsp;
Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter</a> Join the Lovers Community &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community</a> Explore quizzes and worksheets &rarr; http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

My Ex Was a Gaslighter w/ Melissa Rivers

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