Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/shan2026 

——————

In this episode of Lovers, Jared and I sit down on vacation for a conversation we’ve never had this honestly before.

This is our seventh year of marriage, the year people warn you about. The year of the “seven-year itch.” And while we’ve built a life together, kids, history, love, this was the first year I really sat with a truth that surprised even me.

For a long time, I wasn’t fully certain we would stay married forever.

In this conversation, we talk about what it actually feels like to be years into a relationship, how having children changes the dynamic between partners, and why even strong marriages go through seasons of doubt, distance, and recalibration.

We share the fears we had going into year seven, the honest ways our relationship has been tested, and what ultimately shifted for me to say, fully and consciously, that this is the person I’m choosing for life.

This episode isn’t about perfect love. It’s about commitment, growth, and what it really takes to stay.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship can survive the hard seasons, or questioned what long-term love is supposed to feel like, this conversation is for you.

Follow Jared Brady
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady
Subscribe to his YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA 


Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: <a href="https://beducate.me/shan2026">https://beducate.me/shan2026</a>&nbsp;
&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
In this episode of Lovers, Jared and I sit down on vacation for a conversation we&rsquo;ve never had this honestly before.
This is our seventh year of marriage, the year people warn you about. The year of the &ldquo;seven-year itch.&rdquo; And while we&rsquo;ve built a life together, kids, history, love, this was the first year I really sat with a truth that surprised even me.
For a long time, I wasn&rsquo;t fully certain we would stay married forever.
In this conversation, we talk about what it actually feels like to be years into a relationship, how having children changes the dynamic between partners, and why even strong marriages go through seasons of doubt, distance, and recalibration.
We share the fears we had going into year seven, the honest ways our relationship has been tested, and what ultimately shifted for me to say, fully and consciously, that this is the person I&rsquo;m choosing for life.
This episode isn&rsquo;t about perfect love. It&rsquo;s about commitment, growth, and what it really takes to stay.
If you&rsquo;ve ever wondered whether your relationship can survive the hard seasons, or questioned what long-term love is supposed to feel like, this conversation is for you.
Follow Jared Brady Instagram &rarr; <a href="https://www.instagram.com/affioncrockett/">https://www.instagram.com/</a>enjoyjaredbrady Subscribe to his YouTube &rarr; <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA</a>&nbsp;
 Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter </a>Join the Lovers Community &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community </a>Explore quizzes and worksheets &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes">http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes</a>

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right.

Past guests include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.

When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.

Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media https://lemonadamedia.com/  

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram&rsquo;s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right. Past guests include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away. When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.
Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media <a href="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-stringify-link="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-sk="tooltip_parent">https://lemonadamedia.com/</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;

LOVERS by shan

LOVERS by Shan

The Year I Decided I’d Never Divorce My Husband

Shout out to the sponsor of this episode Tonal. Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase. Just go to tonal.com and use promo code LOVERS.

Big love to the sponsor of this episode, Masterclass. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at https://www.masterclass.com/lovers 

———————

In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Affion Crockett for a conversation about love, timing, and what it really takes to build a relationship that works.

Affion is actually part of my own love story. He’s the reason Jared and I met. But in this conversation, we turn the lens on him.

Now in his 50s, after years of dating, therapy, and the loss of his father, Affion shares that he finally feels clear on what he’s looking for in a partner, and what he’s no longer willing to force.

For a long time, he believed in the idea that if you try hard enough, you can make a relationship work. But watching his father spend years in an unhappy marriage, and ultimately pass away still carrying that weight, changed how he sees love completely.

We talk about why some relationships aren’t meant to work no matter how much effort you put in, why “happy wife, happy life” doesn’t always lead to real fulfillment, and what it looks like to pursue a relationship that actually adds to your life instead of draining it.

This isn’t a story about giving up on love. It’s about getting honest about what love should feel like, and having the clarity to wait for the right fit.

If you’ve ever tried to make something work that just didn’t click, or wondered if it’s too late to find the kind of relationship you really want, this episode is for you.

Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you’ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet

https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only

 

Follow Affion Crockett
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/affioncrockett/
Watch A Hip-Hop Story Now → https://www.ahiphopstory.com/ 


Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

Shout out to the sponsor of this episode Tonal. Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase. Just go to <a href="http://tonal.com">tonal.com</a> and use promo code LOVERS.
Big love to the sponsor of this episode, Masterclass. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at <a href="https://www.masterclass.com/lovers">https://www.masterclass.com/lovers</a>&nbsp;
&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Affion Crockett for a conversation about love, timing, and what it really takes to build a relationship that works.
Affion is actually part of my own love story. He&rsquo;s the reason Jared and I met. But in this conversation, we turn the lens on him.
Now in his 50s, after years of dating, therapy, and the loss of his father, Affion shares that he finally feels clear on what he&rsquo;s looking for in a partner, and what he&rsquo;s no longer willing to force.
For a long time, he believed in the idea that if you try hard enough, you can make a relationship work. But watching his father spend years in an unhappy marriage, and ultimately pass away still carrying that weight, changed how he sees love completely.
We talk about why some relationships aren&rsquo;t meant to work no matter how much effort you put in, why &ldquo;happy wife, happy life&rdquo; doesn&rsquo;t always lead to real fulfillment, and what it looks like to pursue a relationship that actually adds to your life instead of draining it.
This isn&rsquo;t a story about giving up on love. It&rsquo;s about getting honest about what love should feel like, and having the clarity to wait for the right fit.
If you&rsquo;ve ever tried to make something work that just didn&rsquo;t click, or wondered if it&rsquo;s too late to find the kind of relationship you really want, this episode is for you.
Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you&rsquo;ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet
<a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only">https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only</a>
&nbsp;
Follow Affion Crockett Instagram &rarr; <a href="https://www.instagram.com/affioncrockett/">https://www.instagram.com/affioncrockett/</a> Watch A Hip-Hop Story Now &rarr; <a href="https://www.ahiphopstory.com/">https://www.ahiphopstory.com/</a>&nbsp;
 Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter </a>Join the Lovers Community &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community </a>Explore quizzes and worksheets &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes">http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes</a>

I Spent Years Forcing Relationships… Here’s What I Learned ft. Affion Crockett

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.squarespace.com/LOVERS for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use CODE: LOVERS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Sex is a skill, and you can learn how to be the best lover in bed! Join Beducated today at https://beducate.me/loversapril. 



Lots of love to our sponsor, Quince. Go to Quince.com/LOVERS for free shipping and 365-day returns.

------------------- 

In this episode of Lovers, Kamie Crawford returns for a third time, and this time, she’s engaged.

When Kamie first came on the podcast, she was coming out of a very public breakup and rebuilding her life from the ground up. In her second appearance, she shared a mindset that sparked a lot of conversation: “I’m not a girlfriend, I want to be a wife.” She was dating with intention, holding high standards, and refusing to entertain anything that didn’t align with the life she actually wanted.

People had a lot to say. Some called it unrealistic. Others said her standards were too high.

Now she’s back, engaged to the love of her life, in a relationship that didn’t just meet her standards but exceeded them.

In this conversation, we talk about what it looks like to hold your standards in dating, how to navigate criticism when people tell you you’re asking for too much, and why the language you use around love, marriage, and your future actually shapes what you experience.

Kamie shares how she approached dating with intention, why she refused to shrink her desires to be more “realistic,” and what happened when she chose to dream bigger instead.

If you’ve ever been told to lower your standards, questioned whether you’re asking for too much, or wondered if holding out for the kind of love you actually want is worth it, this episode is for you.

Watch our other interviews with Kamie Crawford on LOVERS:
2021: How to Look at a Breakup Differently → https://youtu.be/vSc0hF__y_4?si=E9u8zKsxdCEBbG8r
2023: This is What Happens When a Single Woman Turns 30 → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSc0hF__y_4

Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you’ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only


Follow Kamie Crawford
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/kamiecrawford/
Watch her podcast Relationshipshit → https://www.youtube.com/@relationshitpod
Website → https://www.kamiecrawford.com/ 


Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes 

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode. Head to <a href="http://www.squarespace.com/LOVERS">www.squarespace.com/LOVERS</a> for a free trial, and when you&rsquo;re ready to launch, use CODE: LOVERS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Sex is a skill, and you can learn how to be the best lover in bed! Join Beducated today at <a href="https://beducate.me/loversapril">https://beducate.me/loversapril</a>. 
Lots of love to our sponsor, Quince. Go to <a href="http://quince.com/LOVERS">Quince.com/LOVERS</a> for free shipping and 365-day returns.
-------------------&nbsp;
In this episode of Lovers, Kamie Crawford returns for a third time, and this time, she&rsquo;s engaged.
When Kamie first came on the podcast, she was coming out of a very public breakup and rebuilding her life from the ground up. In her second appearance, she shared a mindset that sparked a lot of conversation: &ldquo;I&rsquo;m not a girlfriend, I want to be a wife.&rdquo; She was dating with intention, holding high standards, and refusing to entertain anything that didn&rsquo;t align with the life she actually wanted.
People had a lot to say. Some called it unrealistic. Others said her standards were too high.
Now she&rsquo;s back, engaged to the love of her life, in a relationship that didn&rsquo;t just meet her standards but exceeded them.
In this conversation, we talk about what it looks like to hold your standards in dating, how to navigate criticism when people tell you you&rsquo;re asking for too much, and why the language you use around love, marriage, and your future actually shapes what you experience.
Kamie shares how she approached dating with intention, why she refused to shrink her desires to be more &ldquo;realistic,&rdquo; and what happened when she chose to dream bigger instead.
If you&rsquo;ve ever been told to lower your standards, questioned whether you&rsquo;re asking for too much, or wondered if holding out for the kind of love you actually want is worth it, this episode is for you. Watch our other interviews with Kamie Crawford on LOVERS: 2021: How to Look at a Breakup Differently &rarr; <a href="https://youtu.be/vSc0hF__y_4?si=E9u8zKsxdCEBbG8r">https://youtu.be/vSc0hF__y_4?si=E9u8zKsxdCEBbG8r</a> 2023: This is What Happens When a Single Woman Turns 30 &rarr; <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSc0hF__y_4">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSc0hF__y_4</a> Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you&rsquo;ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet &rarr;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only">https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only </a> Follow Kamie Crawford Instagram &rarr; <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kamiecrawford/">https://www.instagram.com/kamiecrawford/ </a>Watch her podcast Relationshipshit &rarr; <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@relationshitpod">https://www.youtube.com/@relationshitpod </a>Website &rarr; <a href="https://www.kamiecrawford.com/">https://www.kamiecrawford.com/</a>&nbsp;
 Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter </a>Join the Lovers Community &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community </a>Explore quizzes and worksheets &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes">http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes</a>&nbsp;

The Secret to Attracting a Husband, Not Just a Boyfriend ft. Kamie Crawford

Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode. Go to cozyearth.com/LOVERS for up to 20% off! 

Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/lovers. 

—

In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Lisa Bilyeu to talk about a decision a lot of women think about… but don’t always say out loud: what if you don’t want kids?

Lisa is an entrepreneur, co-founder of Quest Nutrition, and founder of Impact Theory Studios. She’s known for building billion-dollar businesses alongside her husband while also speaking openly about identity, marriage, and what it means to choose a life that actually fits you.

Lisa built a life that looked like the dream. Marriage, stability, and the role she thought she was supposed to want. For a long time, she even stepped into the idea of being a traditional wife. But over time, something didn’t sit right.

What happens when you realize the life you chose doesn’t actually fit you anymore?

We talk about what it looked like for Lisa to tell her husband that she didn’t want children, how they navigated being in a marriage where one partner wants kids and the other doesn’t, and why choosing to be child-free doesn’t mean something is missing, broken, or selfish.

This conversation challenges the idea that every woman is meant to become a mother, and unpacks the pressure many women feel around motherhood, marriage, and identity. We also explore what it means to redefine a successful relationship on your own terms, whether that includes children or not.

If you’ve ever questioned whether motherhood is for you, wondered how to tell your partner you don’t want kids, or felt conflicted about choosing career, independence, or a different kind of life, this episode is for you.


EXCLUSIVE LOVERS COMMUNITY RESOURCE
Need help starting a difficult conversation? Access our guided journal inside the LOVERS community: → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/navigating-change-hard-conversations-in-relationships-community-exclusive 



Follow Lisa Bilyeu

→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/
→ Watch & learn on Impact Theory: https://impacttheory.com/
→ Explore her personal website: https://lisabilyeu.com/
→ Listen to her podcast Women of Impact: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-of-impact/id1435217865
→ Get her book Radical Confidence: https://radicalconfidence.com/ 





Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes 

 

Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode. Go to <a href="http://cozyearth.com/LOVERS">cozyearth.com/LOVERS</a> for up to 20% off!&nbsp;
Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults:&nbsp;<a href="https://beducate.me/lovers">https://beducate.me/lovers</a>.&nbsp;
&mdash;
In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Lisa Bilyeu to talk about a decision a lot of women think about&hellip; but don&rsquo;t always say out loud: what if you don&rsquo;t want kids?
Lisa is an entrepreneur, co-founder of Quest Nutrition, and founder of Impact Theory Studios. She&rsquo;s known for building billion-dollar businesses alongside her husband while also speaking openly about identity, marriage, and what it means to choose a life that actually fits you.
Lisa built a life that looked like the dream. Marriage, stability, and the role she thought she was supposed to want. For a long time, she even stepped into the idea of being a traditional wife. But over time, something didn&rsquo;t sit right.
What happens when you realize the life you chose doesn&rsquo;t actually fit you anymore?
We talk about what it looked like for Lisa to tell her husband that she didn&rsquo;t want children, how they navigated being in a marriage where one partner wants kids and the other doesn&rsquo;t, and why choosing to be child-free doesn&rsquo;t mean something is missing, broken, or selfish.
This conversation challenges the idea that every woman is meant to become a mother, and unpacks the pressure many women feel around motherhood, marriage, and identity. We also explore what it means to redefine a successful relationship on your own terms, whether that includes children or not.
If you&rsquo;ve ever questioned whether motherhood is for you, wondered how to tell your partner you don&rsquo;t want kids, or felt conflicted about choosing career, independence, or a different kind of life, this episode is for you.
 EXCLUSIVE LOVERS COMMUNITY RESOURCE Need help starting a difficult conversation? Access our guided journal inside the LOVERS community: &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/navigating-change-hard-conversations-in-relationships-community-exclusive">https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/navigating-change-hard-conversations-in-relationships-community-exclusive</a>&nbsp; 
Follow Lisa Bilyeu
&rarr; Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/">https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/</a> &rarr; Watch &amp; learn on Impact Theory: <a href="https://impacttheory.com/">https://impacttheory.com/</a> &rarr; Explore her personal website: <a href="https://lisabilyeu.com/">https://lisabilyeu.com/</a> &rarr; Listen to her podcast Women of Impact: <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-of-impact/id1435217865">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-of-impact/id1435217865</a> &rarr; Get her book Radical Confidence: <a href="https://radicalconfidence.com/">https://radicalconfidence.com/</a>&nbsp;
 
Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter</a> Join the Lovers Community &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community</a> Explore quizzes and worksheets &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes">http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes</a>&nbsp;
&nbsp;

The Year I Decided I’d Never Divorce My Husband

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