In this episode, Shan interviews comedian Ashley Hesseltine from the "Girls Gotta Eat" Podcast. You could argue that this episode is about women getting off with men partners without giving anything sexual in return, you could also argue it’s about the validity of blue balls, or that we’re here to discuss dating in a post me-too era. But what it really boils down to is rewriting sexual and romantic scripts, especially for singles. How do you end an intimate encounter where you want to end it...and have it be okay?

Follow Shan on Instagram: 

www.instagram.com/shanboody

Join Shan's Mailing List: 

www.shanboodram.com/join

Follow Ashley Hesseltine: 

www.instagram.com/ashhess

Follow Los on Instagram: 

www.instagram.com/blamelos

Listen to Enjoy the Podcast: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enjoy-the-podcast/id1526698004

Follow Lauren on Instagram: 

www.instagram.com/thisislaurenelizabeth

In this episode, Shan interviews comedian Ashley Hesseltine from the "Girls Gotta Eat" Podcast. You could argue that this episode is about women getting off with men partners without giving anything sexual in return, you could also argue it’s about the validity of blue balls, or that we’re here to discuss dating in a post me-too era. But what it really boils down to is rewriting sexual and romantic scripts, especially for singles. How do you end an intimate encounter where you want to end it...and have it be okay?Follow Shan on Instagram: <a href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__http://www.instagram.com/shanboody__;!!NUnUjx3wvH5xgA!akF7IFJyLICMPrKr0ua_YQkrbPLYQU3uJN2g6joo-CLD5erH-KNYs00lGsfQqwdoqBbVYLuIgs_8LTF4_0rFFg%24">www.instagram.com/shanboody</a>Join Shan's Mailing List: <a href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__http://www.shanboodram.com/join__;!!NUnUjx3wvH5xgA!akF7IFJyLICMPrKr0ua_YQkrbPLYQU3uJN2g6joo-CLD5erH-KNYs00lGsfQqwdoqBbVYLuIgs_8LTGAd4HnBw%24">www.shanboodram.com/join</a>Follow Ashley Hesseltine: <a href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__http://www.instagram.com/ashhess__;!!NUnUjx3wvH5xgA!akF7IFJyLICMPrKr0ua_YQkrbPLYQU3uJN2g6joo-CLD5erH-KNYs00lGsfQqwdoqBbVYLuIgs_8LTEwp0_W2A%24">www.instagram.com/ashhess</a>Follow Los on Instagram: <a href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__http://www.instagram.com/blamelos__;!!NUnUjx3wvH5xgA!akF7IFJyLICMPrKr0ua_YQkrbPLYQU3uJN2g6joo-CLD5erH-KNYs00lGsfQqwdoqBbVYLuIgs_8LTHd_MLtqQ%24">www.instagram.com/blamelos</a>Listen to Enjoy the Podcast: <a href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enjoy-the-podcast/id1526698004__;!!NUnUjx3wvH5xgA!akF7IFJyLICMPrKr0ua_YQkrbPLYQU3uJN2g6joo-CLD5erH-KNYs00lGsfQqwdoqBbVYLuIgs_8LTGj-MJArA%24">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enjoy-the-podcast/id1526698004</a>Follow Lauren on Instagram: <a href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__http://www.instagram.com/thisislaurenelizabeth__;!!NUnUjx3wvH5xgA!akF7IFJyLICMPrKr0ua_YQkrbPLYQU3uJN2g6joo-CLD5erH-KNYs00lGsfQqwdoqBbVYLuIgs_8LTGREwafGg%24">www.instagram.com/thisislaurenelizabeth</a>

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right.

Past guest include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.

When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.

Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media https://lemonadamedia.com/  

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram&rsquo;s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right. Past guest include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away. When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.
Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media <a href="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-stringify-link="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-sk="tooltip_parent">https://lemonadamedia.com/</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;

LOVERS by shan

Just So You Know...We Ain't F*ckin!

In this episode of Lovers, therapist Keir Gaines shares a personal and professional reflection on how resentment builds when men are taught to silence their emotional truth.

Keir opens up about a pivotal moment in his own relationship, when he realized that his partner’s tone was hurting his feelings, and that his fear of naming it, out of concern that he would sound “effeminate” or not man enough, was quietly turning into resentment. What started as self-protection slowly became emotional distance, until he reached a breaking point where honesty felt less risky than staying silent.

Together, we unpack how masculinity norms shape emotional expression, why unspoken hurt often masquerades as resentment, and how learning to articulate emotional impact can transform intimacy rather than threaten it. This conversation explores the cost of swallowing feelings, the courage it takes to speak before resentment hardens, and what becomes possible when men allow themselves to be emotionally legible in their relationships.

This episode isn’t about blame or tone-policing. It’s about emotional responsibility, relational repair, and the freedom that comes from finally saying the thing you were afraid would make you sound weak. 

If you wished this episode is longer and you could hear more about Kier Gaines

 

Is My Relationship Healthy Quiz
https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-relationship-check-in 



Follow Kier Gaines
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines 

TikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@kiergaines 

Twitter/X → https://twitter.com/kiergaines 

YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@KierandNoemie 

Official Website →https://www.kiergaines.com 

Course Words That Connect →https://kier-gaines.mykajabi.com/wordsthatconnect

Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

In this episode of Lovers, therapist Keir Gaines shares a personal and professional reflection on how resentment builds when men are taught to silence their emotional truth.
Keir opens up about a pivotal moment in his own relationship, when he realized that his partner&rsquo;s tone was hurting his feelings, and that his fear of naming it, out of concern that he would sound &ldquo;effeminate&rdquo; or not man enough, was quietly turning into resentment. What started as self-protection slowly became emotional distance, until he reached a breaking point where honesty felt less risky than staying silent.
Together, we unpack how masculinity norms shape emotional expression, why unspoken hurt often masquerades as resentment, and how learning to articulate emotional impact can transform intimacy rather than threaten it. This conversation explores the cost of swallowing feelings, the courage it takes to speak before resentment hardens, and what becomes possible when men allow themselves to be emotionally legible in their relationships.
This episode isn&rsquo;t about blame or tone-policing. It&rsquo;s about emotional responsibility, relational repair, and the freedom that comes from finally saying the thing you were afraid would make you sound weak.&nbsp;
If you wished this episode is longer and you could hear more about Kier Gaines
&nbsp;
Is My Relationship Healthy Quiz <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-relationship-check-in">https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-relationship-check-in</a>&nbsp; 
Follow Kier Gaines Instagram &rarr; <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines">https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines</a>&nbsp;
TikTok &rarr; <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@kiergaines">https://www.tiktok.com/@kiergaines</a>&nbsp;
Twitter/X &rarr; <a href="https://twitter.com/kiergaines">https://twitter.com/kiergaines</a>&nbsp;
YouTube &rarr; <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@KierandNoemie">https://www.youtube.com/@KierandNoemie</a>&nbsp;
Official Website &rarr; <a href="https://www.kiergaines.com">https://www.kiergaines.com</a>&nbsp;
Course Words That Connect &rarr;<a href="https://kier-gaines.mykajabi.com/wordsthatconnect"> https://kier-gaines.mykajabi.com/wordsthatconnect</a>
Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter </a>Join the Lovers Community &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community </a>Explore quizzes and worksheets &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes">http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes</a>

What Men Risk When They Stay Quiet ft. Keir Gaines

In this episode of Lovers, Higher Learning host and former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay shares the deeply personal story of what it was like to experience intimacy both sexually and emotionally for the first time after divorce.

After nearly a decade of being with only one partner, that she met while being the Bachelorette, Rachel walks us through the fears, emotions, and expectations she carried into that moment, from questions of safety and vulnerability to the quiet pressure of “doing it right” after such a long chapter had closed. She reflects on what that experience taught her about trust, desire, and emotional presence, and how those lessons reshaped her understanding of intimacy moving forward.

Though she isn’t with the person from that first post-divorce experience, Rachel shares why she remains grateful for what it revealed about her needs, her boundaries, and her capacity for connection. She also opens up about how those insights are influencing the relationship she’s in today, offering a grounded, honest look at what intimacy can become after loss, change, and reinvention.

This conversation isn’t about sex for shock value. It’s about safety, growth, and learning how to meet yourself again after everything you thought you knew about love has shifted.



———
Follow Rachel Lindsay
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/therachlindsay/ 

YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@HigherLearning 

Podcast — Higher Learning with Van Lathan & Rachel Lindsay → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/higher-learning-with-van-lathan-and-rachel-lindsay/id1515152489 

Official Website → https://www.rachellindsayofficial.com/ 

Rachel’s Book — Miss Me With That: Hot Takes, Helpful Tidbits, And A Few Hard Truths → https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57895042-miss-me-with-that?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=vFiuBJ3vpY&rank=1 

Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

In this episode of Lovers, Higher Learning host and former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay shares the deeply personal story of what it was like to experience intimacy both sexually and emotionally for the first time after divorce.
After nearly a decade of being with only one partner, that she met while being the Bachelorette, Rachel walks us through the fears, emotions, and expectations she carried into that moment, from questions of safety and vulnerability to the quiet pressure of &ldquo;doing it right&rdquo; after such a long chapter had closed. She reflects on what that experience taught her about trust, desire, and emotional presence, and how those lessons reshaped her understanding of intimacy moving forward.
Though she isn&rsquo;t with the person from that first post-divorce experience, Rachel shares why she remains grateful for what it revealed about her needs, her boundaries, and her capacity for connection. She also opens up about how those insights are influencing the relationship she&rsquo;s in today, offering a grounded, honest look at what intimacy can become after loss, change, and reinvention.
This conversation isn&rsquo;t about sex for shock value. It&rsquo;s about safety, growth, and learning how to meet yourself again after everything you thought you knew about love has shifted. 
&mdash;&mdash;&mdash; Follow Rachel Lindsay Instagram &rarr; <a href="https://www.instagram.com/therachlindsay/">https://www.instagram.com/therachlindsay/</a>&nbsp;
YouTube &rarr; <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@HigherLearning">https://www.youtube.com/@HigherLearning</a>&nbsp;
Podcast &mdash; Higher Learning with Van Lathan &amp; Rachel Lindsay &rarr; <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/higher-learning-with-van-lathan-and-rachel-lindsay/id1515152489">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/higher-learning-with-van-lathan-and-rachel-lindsay/id1515152489</a>&nbsp;
Official Website &rarr; <a href="https://www.rachellindsayofficial.com/">https://www.rachellindsayofficial.com/</a>&nbsp;
Rachel&rsquo;s Book &mdash; Miss Me With That: Hot Takes, Helpful Tidbits, And A Few Hard Truths &rarr; <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57895042-miss-me-with-that?from_search=true&amp;from_srp=true&amp;qid=vFiuBJ3vpY&amp;rank=1">https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57895042-miss-me-with-that?from_search=true&amp;from_srp=true&amp;qid=vFiuBJ3vpY&amp;rank=1</a>&nbsp;
Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter </a>Join the Lovers Community &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community </a>Explore quizzes and worksheets &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes">http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes</a>

Rachel Lindsay’s Shocking Discovery About Intimacy After Divorce

In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by my husband Jared Brady to tell the story of the exact day we decided to call our relationship an open relationship.

Want to take the Relationship Style quiz I mentioned in the episode? Click HERE
https://www.loversbyshan.com/quizzes

In this episode, Shan Boodram and Jared Brady share intimate details from the early days of their relationship that led to them choosing to label their love as an open relationship.

If your first reaction to “open relationship” is “so… cheating?” you’re not alone, and this conversation is also for you.

Cheating isn’t about a specific behavior, it’s about breaking the rules of the relationship you agreed to play by, which is why it’s important to clearly define YOUR rules together. 

This episode explores why people seek structured relationships even without exclusivity, what commitment actually looks like when it isn’t defined by romantic restriction, and how accountability, emotional safety, partnership, and love can exist outside traditional scripts.

This isn’t an episode about convincing anyone to open their relationship. It’s about clarity, consent, and understanding why the rules matter more than the label.



MasterClass
Have you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at masterclass.com/lovers.

Follow Jared
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady
YouTube →https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA



Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

In this episode of Lovers, I&rsquo;m joined by my husband Jared Brady to tell the story of the exact day we decided to call our relationship an open relationship.
Want to take the Relationship Style quiz I mentioned in the episode? Click HERE https://www.loversbyshan.com/quizzes
In this episode, Shan Boodram and Jared Brady share intimate details from the early days of their relationship that led to them choosing to label their love as an open relationship.
If your first reaction to &ldquo;open relationship&rdquo; is &ldquo;so&hellip; cheating?&rdquo; you&rsquo;re not alone, and this conversation is also for you.
Cheating isn&rsquo;t about a specific behavior, it&rsquo;s about breaking the rules of the relationship you agreed to play by, which is why it&rsquo;s important to clearly define YOUR rules together.&nbsp;
This episode explores why people seek structured relationships even without exclusivity, what commitment actually looks like when it isn&rsquo;t defined by romantic restriction, and how accountability, emotional safety, partnership, and love can exist outside traditional scripts.
This isn&rsquo;t an episode about convincing anyone to open their relationship. It&rsquo;s about clarity, consent, and understanding why the rules matter more than the label. 
MasterClass Have you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at <a href="http://masterclass.com/lovers">masterclass.com/lovers</a>.
Follow Jared Instagram &rarr; https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady YouTube &rarr;<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo-SwvkGbQgDt3oXfASPPJQ?utm_source=chatgpt.com"> </a>https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA 
Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter </a>Join the Lovers Community &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community </a>Explore quizzes and worksheets &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes">http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes</a>

Just So You Know...We Ain't F*ckin!

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