What does it really take to change your behavior for good? We've all heard stories about people who have a brush with death and change their ways forever, But what if that's not always enough? It certainly wasn't for Dom Price the work futurist for it. Lassian is a methodical thinker. And if you've heard him on How I Work before, because he's been on a few times, you know how disciplined and purposeful he is. So why wasn't he focused on his health until recently? Even after a cancer diagnosis. Dom shares why his health journey really started and breaks down the practices and habits that he's found most beneficial so far. My name is doctor Amantha Imber. I'm an organizational psychologist and founder of Behavior chain Consultancy Inventium, and this is how I work, a show about how to help you get so much more out of the hours in your day. For the next few weeks, I am deep diving into my guests habits and rituals around health. We will be covering physical health, mental health, and emotional health.

What does it really take to change your behavior for good? We've all heard stories about people who have a brush with death and change their ways forever, But what if that's not always enough? It certainly wasn't for Dom Price the work futurist for it. Lassian is a methodical thinker. And if you've heard him on How I Work before, because he's been on a few times, you know how disciplined and purposeful he is. So why wasn't he focused on his health until recently? Even after a cancer diagnosis. Dom shares why his health journey really started and breaks down the practices and habits that he's found most beneficial so far. My name is doctor Amantha Imber. I'm an organizational psychologist and founder of Behavior chain Consultancy Inventium, and this is how I work, a show about how to help you get so much more out of the hours in your day. For the next few weeks, I am deep diving into my guests habits and rituals around health. We will be covering physical health, mental health, and emotional health.

And in case you.

And in case you.

Didn't know, my new book, The Health Habit has just hit bookshelves in Australia. If you are stuck in a cycle of unhealthy habits. Then the health habit will help you design a personalized, science backed plan to change your habits for good. Now onto my chat with Dom, which starts with Dom explaining what got him rethinking his approach to health.

Didn't know, my new book, The Health Habit has just hit bookshelves in Australia. If you are stuck in a cycle of unhealthy habits. Then the health habit will help you design a personalized, science backed plan to change your habits for good. Now onto my chat with Dom, which starts with Dom explaining what got him rethinking his approach to health.

The realization of health was a different phase to focusing on health. So I thought I was mortal up until February twenty twenty when I got diagnosed with bowcunter. I'm like, ah, not a mortal. Turned out, life has an endpoint, and that was, in theory, a real sharp shock.

The realization of health was a different phase to focusing on health. So I thought I was mortal up until February twenty twenty when I got diagnosed with bowcunter. I'm like, ah, not a mortal. Turned out, life has an endpoint, and that was, in theory, a real sharp shock.

To the system.

To the system.

The thing is, for whatever reason, it didn't hit me hard enough. It hit me, but it didn't grab me and go change. It grabbed me and went, oh that's a shock, carry on living. Right, So it's weird that the mindset took a while to kick in. And actually the real event that changed how I thought about health was the rival of my twins. Right, so me and my partner have thirty month old twin boys. Now that was a shock that I wasn't ready for. I'd I'd been around kids before I understood kids. But suddenly I'm like, oh, I'm responsible. So if I reflect when I was diagnosed and had my treatment and got better. I was single, so there was no consequence to bad health. It was all on me. If I accepted a work trip, it was on me. If I missed something, it was on me. Everything was on me. And then having a partner and kids, You're like, ah, bugger, there's other people I'm responsible to now, and so I'm not looking after my health for me because I can trade that off. I'm looking after my health for them because I owe them, right, I have this responsibility to look after Rebecca and my partner and my kids, and they're going to live for it.

The thing is, for whatever reason, it didn't hit me hard enough. It hit me, but it didn't grab me and go change. It grabbed me and went, oh that's a shock, carry on living. Right, So it's weird that the mindset took a while to kick in. And actually the real event that changed how I thought about health was the rival of my twins. Right, so me and my partner have thirty month old twin boys. Now that was a shock that I wasn't ready for. I'd I'd been around kids before I understood kids. But suddenly I'm like, oh, I'm responsible. So if I reflect when I was diagnosed and had my treatment and got better. I was single, so there was no consequence to bad health. It was all on me. If I accepted a work trip, it was on me. If I missed something, it was on me. Everything was on me. And then having a partner and kids, You're like, ah, bugger, there's other people I'm responsible to now, and so I'm not looking after my health for me because I can trade that off. I'm looking after my health for them because I owe them, right, I have this responsibility to look after Rebecca and my partner and my kids, and they're going to live for it.

Ends You're like, oh, oh, so now.

Ends You're like, oh, oh, so now.

Health's a real thing, and so it's weird that it triggered me in twenty twenty, that the real action probably started in the last year and a half and became way more profound when my mortality is now attached to the life of others and I hadn't made that connection before.

Health's a real thing, and so it's weird that it triggered me in twenty twenty, that the real action probably started in the last year and a half and became way more profound when my mortality is now attached to the life of others and I hadn't made that connection before.

I know, you almost think about your approach to health and how you live your life almost in terms of an operating model, and that makes sense because you work.

I know, you almost think about your approach to health and how you live your life almost in terms of an operating model, and that makes sense because you work.

At a Lassian with the vint of engineers. So tell me what changed for you when you suddenly become a dad of twins.

At a Lassian with the vint of engineers. So tell me what changed for you when you suddenly become a dad of twins.

So the first thing that changed was realizing that there's still twenty four hours in a day, but there's more things to do. So I was like, okay, that doesn't compute my My mind kind of works on equations. I'm a part mathematician, right, So I'm like, Okay, still the constraint into twenty four hours. So I still want to thrive at my job. Because I enjoyed my job. I want to do well at that. I want to be a really good friend. Social life very important to me. I want to be healthy, exercise, want to be mentally healthy. So wanted to do stuff for me. Got my partner, so I want to do stuff with here. It's funness, both experiences and kids. And you're like, well, that's not twenty four hours anymore. That's like infinitely more than twenty four hours. So my first sort of summation was I can't be good at any of these things. I have to be mediocre at all of them. And I was like, that feels crap. That doesn't feel like something the highest bye toy. So I was like, Okay, how do I thrive at each of these? But it's still had up for twenty four hours, and it became this focus of trade offs. I'm like, okay, so socializing is important. How can I be more purposeful with when I socialize with the people that give me the biggest benefit. Who are my friends that are like in a circle when I hang out, we have unstructured, unfiltered conversations. I'm going to spend more time with them, and maybe less time with the random mates that I go for drink with because there isn't as much time available. How can I be more purpful with the kids? How can I be focused at work so that the things I do a high impact and not get to distracted by all the other stuff. Now again, when it was just me, the other stuff was fun. Distractions were great. Now a distraction cost me time with the kids. That's a very different trade off, right, if it's watch home and away or get distracted by work. I'll get distracted by work. If it's spend an hour with my kids who've just started walking versus get distracted by work, I want to spend the time with the kids. So the equation became different. So then it was a rebalance of going, how do I squeeze these things in and the biggest demon that I dealt with at that time was guilt. And me and my girlfriends still talk about this now. I showed it with her on the weekend. We're out having a drink and I was like, I feel like I don't do enough with the kids, and she's like, you.

So the first thing that changed was realizing that there's still twenty four hours in a day, but there's more things to do. So I was like, okay, that doesn't compute my My mind kind of works on equations. I'm a part mathematician, right, So I'm like, Okay, still the constraint into twenty four hours. So I still want to thrive at my job. Because I enjoyed my job. I want to do well at that. I want to be a really good friend. Social life very important to me. I want to be healthy, exercise, want to be mentally healthy. So wanted to do stuff for me. Got my partner, so I want to do stuff with here. It's funness, both experiences and kids. And you're like, well, that's not twenty four hours anymore. That's like infinitely more than twenty four hours. So my first sort of summation was I can't be good at any of these things. I have to be mediocre at all of them. And I was like, that feels crap. That doesn't feel like something the highest bye toy. So I was like, Okay, how do I thrive at each of these? But it's still had up for twenty four hours, and it became this focus of trade offs. I'm like, okay, so socializing is important. How can I be more purposeful with when I socialize with the people that give me the biggest benefit. Who are my friends that are like in a circle when I hang out, we have unstructured, unfiltered conversations. I'm going to spend more time with them, and maybe less time with the random mates that I go for drink with because there isn't as much time available. How can I be more purpful with the kids? How can I be focused at work so that the things I do a high impact and not get to distracted by all the other stuff. Now again, when it was just me, the other stuff was fun. Distractions were great. Now a distraction cost me time with the kids. That's a very different trade off, right, if it's watch home and away or get distracted by work. I'll get distracted by work. If it's spend an hour with my kids who've just started walking versus get distracted by work, I want to spend the time with the kids. So the equation became different. So then it was a rebalance of going, how do I squeeze these things in and the biggest demon that I dealt with at that time was guilt. And me and my girlfriends still talk about this now. I showed it with her on the weekend. We're out having a drink and I was like, I feel like I don't do enough with the kids, and she's like, you.

Do a huge amount.

Do a huge amount.

Like she's telling me, She's given me all the reassurances I need that I'm doing enough and that the things I'm doing are the right things. When I'm like, but I could be doing more, that little voice at the back of the head, you could be doing more. But the thing is, if I do more, it's at the sacrifice of what. And if it's at the sacrifice of my job and I'm the income in it right now, that doesn't compute. If it's at the sacrifice of my socializing, which is a small amount of time and means my mental health drops, it's not worth it.

Like she's telling me, She's given me all the reassurances I need that I'm doing enough and that the things I'm doing are the right things. When I'm like, but I could be doing more, that little voice at the back of the head, you could be doing more. But the thing is, if I do more, it's at the sacrifice of what. And if it's at the sacrifice of my job and I'm the income in it right now, that doesn't compute. If it's at the sacrifice of my socializing, which is a small amount of time and means my mental health drops, it's not worth it.

I've got a few questions around that. That is absolutely fascinating. I want to come back to the guilt, but I first want to ask about this decision making process. The way you describe it, it's so clear and logical. Okay, should I be spending time with a friend that you know perhaps doesn't enrich me, or it's more superficial conversation versus this friend where it's deeper and it's unfiltered, Or should I be doing work at the expense of seeing my kids walk? They seem like really clear decisions to make when you present them like that, But I'm wondering on a day to day level, how clear is that decision making?

I've got a few questions around that. That is absolutely fascinating. I want to come back to the guilt, but I first want to ask about this decision making process. The way you describe it, it's so clear and logical. Okay, should I be spending time with a friend that you know perhaps doesn't enrich me, or it's more superficial conversation versus this friend where it's deeper and it's unfiltered, Or should I be doing work at the expense of seeing my kids walk? They seem like really clear decisions to make when you present them like that, But I'm wondering on a day to day level, how clear is that decision making?

Because no Noki is all help. Yeah, so I learned it by getting it wrong. So in the first ten weeks I took some poternity to leave, but I didn't want to dip my tael out of work. So like Karen working but like just on my mobile phone. We had the kids who were like, oh, twins, we've never done this before. Well, it'll be fine as context. Neither me and my partner has family in Australias. We've got family in the UK who are like sharing lots of tech. Were like, none of this works. Struggling throughout ourselves, you know, laundry, cooking, house, children and each other, and I was just frazzled. And so one of the things that we added into our routine was there was this one moment and it's still the case now kind of six thirty till seven fifteen pm, Calm descends on the house. Right, it's bad time for the kids. We get them dressed, they have the nighttime bottle, and it's just peace. We can't do anything because we've got a kid each that we're feeding. They're not going to do anything.

Because no Noki is all help. Yeah, so I learned it by getting it wrong. So in the first ten weeks I took some poternity to leave, but I didn't want to dip my tael out of work. So like Karen working but like just on my mobile phone. We had the kids who were like, oh, twins, we've never done this before. Well, it'll be fine as context. Neither me and my partner has family in Australias. We've got family in the UK who are like sharing lots of tech. Were like, none of this works. Struggling throughout ourselves, you know, laundry, cooking, house, children and each other, and I was just frazzled. And so one of the things that we added into our routine was there was this one moment and it's still the case now kind of six thirty till seven fifteen pm, Calm descends on the house. Right, it's bad time for the kids. We get them dressed, they have the nighttime bottle, and it's just peace. We can't do anything because we've got a kid each that we're feeding. They're not going to do anything.

They're chilled.

They're chilled.

It's about bedtime. So it's the light to dance, a nice setting. And the first time we did it, we're like, how's your day, how's it going? Hos things? And it's like not great, this didn't work. And we started talking about it. We're like, oh, that feels fixable. So we just share stuff, right, and we'd actually share. No, I wouldn't call it feedback. It's not work, but it's like we share observations, like so beckel Chas. She's like, I feel like you're missing out on your friendship stuff and that's affecting your mood. I was like, yeah, you probably right. You know me better than anyone else, so yeah, you're probably right. She's like, well, why don't you add in the walk? Why don't you message your friend? Why don't you do this? And then and I'd say, hey, well why don't I have the kids on Sunday and you catch with your and so would suggest us to each other. We'd do that and you're like, oh, that feels better now. The better was always one degree better. There is no one day when we're like, here's the plan, here's the routine we've Soul's parenting. You think that is a bair, We're not going to achieve it. It was little tweaks and it would work for a period of time. Then the kids would change a milestone and start crawling, their waking patterns change, and we'd revisit it. Right, So we actually have a weirdly work like routine of one of the milestones when we reflect and we reflect on what's worked, what hasn't, and we make subtle changes and we put those change into action. When we make the changes, we reflect again, did that change work yeah or nay? Is there something we used to do that work really well with that we stopped doing for some reason, And how do we add it back in and how do we keep on making those tweaks at a micro micro level. So on any one day, it's chaos, right, it's kids, they're out of control. But within the chaos, we have just enough structure where it's like, okay, we can work this now. And the biggest assets in communication. I don't think either me or my goe I said we were amazing at communication before we were decent. We communicated probably by accident because we just lived together and you just you bump into each other occasionally. Whereas with kids we've become very, very purposeful and very clear on communication. Not only communication of which kid did you feed? Which one's been changed, like the logistics, but clear with each other about how we feel and where we're at.

It's about bedtime. So it's the light to dance, a nice setting. And the first time we did it, we're like, how's your day, how's it going? Hos things? And it's like not great, this didn't work. And we started talking about it. We're like, oh, that feels fixable. So we just share stuff, right, and we'd actually share. No, I wouldn't call it feedback. It's not work, but it's like we share observations, like so beckel Chas. She's like, I feel like you're missing out on your friendship stuff and that's affecting your mood. I was like, yeah, you probably right. You know me better than anyone else, so yeah, you're probably right. She's like, well, why don't you add in the walk? Why don't you message your friend? Why don't you do this? And then and I'd say, hey, well why don't I have the kids on Sunday and you catch with your and so would suggest us to each other. We'd do that and you're like, oh, that feels better now. The better was always one degree better. There is no one day when we're like, here's the plan, here's the routine we've Soul's parenting. You think that is a bair, We're not going to achieve it. It was little tweaks and it would work for a period of time. Then the kids would change a milestone and start crawling, their waking patterns change, and we'd revisit it. Right, So we actually have a weirdly work like routine of one of the milestones when we reflect and we reflect on what's worked, what hasn't, and we make subtle changes and we put those change into action. When we make the changes, we reflect again, did that change work yeah or nay? Is there something we used to do that work really well with that we stopped doing for some reason, And how do we add it back in and how do we keep on making those tweaks at a micro micro level. So on any one day, it's chaos, right, it's kids, they're out of control. But within the chaos, we have just enough structure where it's like, okay, we can work this now. And the biggest assets in communication. I don't think either me or my goe I said we were amazing at communication before we were decent. We communicated probably by accident because we just lived together and you just you bump into each other occasionally. Whereas with kids we've become very, very purposeful and very clear on communication. Not only communication of which kid did you feed? Which one's been changed, like the logistics, but clear with each other about how we feel and where we're at.

Was that a deliberate choice or something that you just naturally slid into at this evening hour where things are just peaceful by chance?

Was that a deliberate choice or something that you just naturally slid into at this evening hour where things are just peaceful by chance?

I think it's because we both struggled through the first ten weeks. It was a forcing qunction. It is like, if this continues at this rate of struggle, it doesn't work. So what what what is the where's the flex right? It's not the kids right, you can't you can't reason with them, so that demands fixed. So how do we flex around it? And what does that smell look and feel like? And then and then it's just like it was admitting that we didn't know, and so My girlfriend's are nutritionists and she's she's quite sort of research pace. So she goes by all the books. She's like, I've read the book and it says the child should feed it this time and do this. And I was like, but there's another book that says the opposite.

I think it's because we both struggled through the first ten weeks. It was a forcing qunction. It is like, if this continues at this rate of struggle, it doesn't work. So what what what is the where's the flex right? It's not the kids right, you can't you can't reason with them, so that demands fixed. So how do we flex around it? And what does that smell look and feel like? And then and then it's just like it was admitting that we didn't know, and so My girlfriend's are nutritionists and she's she's quite sort of research pace. So she goes by all the books. She's like, I've read the book and it says the child should feed it this time and do this. And I was like, but there's another book that says the opposite.

So which one is our child? Is it that book or that book?

So which one is our child? Is it that book or that book?

And like, well, there's two children, right, So so an example, one immediately took to breastfeeding.

And like, well, there's two children, right, So so an example, one immediately took to breastfeeding.

The other one was like, no, not a chance.

The other one was like, no, not a chance.

You're like, okay, they've come from the same two parents who were born at the same time, so it's nature Nurture're like, one of them just doesn't, right, so keep it to a number two. It's been on the bottle's entire life. He's like, not doing that. So we're like, ooh, the book says one thing. Let's ignore the book. What are we going to do because we're the parents, they're the kids, and that's all anyone can judge, right, And so we quickly got into a mode of going there's lots of advice, there's lots of data points. What's our decision of what kind of parents we want to be and how does that evolve? That's way more important than any book, So you use the book as a reference, but not the guide. It's not prescribed. And then how do we work through this? And one of the best bits of there's two great bits of advice I got when we had kids. One was don't listen to any one look gause your advice. But now, well, a dad said to me. He said, everyone will tell you that this phase is bader than the next phase is better. He said, it's not. He said, each phase is different. There is no better. There's not like a month or a year when you're like, they're the perfect kids for that phase and then everything's rubbish afterwards or before. It's like, each phase is different, it's not better. I was like, okay, I like that. And the second one was find your style of parenting that works for you, but always start with forgiveness. And I was like, I pick this place. And I was like, what do you mean by I start with forgiveness? And they're like, you're going to be so tired, so ratty with each other if you assume the worst, everything's in argument.

You're like, okay, they've come from the same two parents who were born at the same time, so it's nature Nurture're like, one of them just doesn't, right, so keep it to a number two. It's been on the bottle's entire life. He's like, not doing that. So we're like, ooh, the book says one thing. Let's ignore the book. What are we going to do because we're the parents, they're the kids, and that's all anyone can judge, right, And so we quickly got into a mode of going there's lots of advice, there's lots of data points. What's our decision of what kind of parents we want to be and how does that evolve? That's way more important than any book, So you use the book as a reference, but not the guide. It's not prescribed. And then how do we work through this? And one of the best bits of there's two great bits of advice I got when we had kids. One was don't listen to any one look gause your advice. But now, well, a dad said to me. He said, everyone will tell you that this phase is bader than the next phase is better. He said, it's not. He said, each phase is different. There is no better. There's not like a month or a year when you're like, they're the perfect kids for that phase and then everything's rubbish afterwards or before. It's like, each phase is different, it's not better. I was like, okay, I like that. And the second one was find your style of parenting that works for you, but always start with forgiveness. And I was like, I pick this place. And I was like, what do you mean by I start with forgiveness? And they're like, you're going to be so tired, so ratty with each other if you assume the worst, everything's in argument.

If you start with forgiveness, everything will be fine.

If you start with forgiveness, everything will be fine.

I was like, yep, just etch that one at the back of the head because it does it get it gets tense, it gets along with my travel with family, like there's a whole of stuff that just makes that chaos even more chaotic. And it's like, always start with forgiveness. And it's not that this phase is great or worse, it's just different.

I was like, yep, just etch that one at the back of the head because it does it get it gets tense, it gets along with my travel with family, like there's a whole of stuff that just makes that chaos even more chaotic. And it's like, always start with forgiveness. And it's not that this phase is great or worse, it's just different.

I want to talk about the guilt that you experience. And it's interesting because I feel like I hear so much about mother guilt, but I don't hear a lot about father guilt.

I want to talk about the guilt that you experience. And it's interesting because I feel like I hear so much about mother guilt, but I don't hear a lot about father guilt.

And you know, and I've.

And you know, and I've.

Thought of you at random points over the last year with your journey and having twins, and I always think about this time where my daughter's nine now, but we went to sleep school when she was three months old and she was not too bad sleeper, but being the optimizer.

Thought of you at random points over the last year with your journey and having twins, and I always think about this time where my daughter's nine now, but we went to sleep school when she was three months old and she was not too bad sleeper, but being the optimizer.

That I am, it's like, how do we make this even better?

That I am, it's like, how do we make this even better?

And I remember in sleep school, everyone you know, was like most people were on just their first child, and it's I guess it's sort of easier then, but it's still overwhelming. But there was one woman there and she had twins, and I just remember like seeing her in the corridors of this hospital and observing sort of how she was applying all the strategies to these two unpredictable things, and everything.

And I remember in sleep school, everyone you know, was like most people were on just their first child, and it's I guess it's sort of easier then, but it's still overwhelming. But there was one woman there and she had twins, and I just remember like seeing her in the corridors of this hospital and observing sort of how she was applying all the strategies to these two unpredictable things, and everything.

Is double, but it's it's harder than double.

Is double, but it's it's harder than double.

It's not too the same, it's too different. Yeah, it's exponential. Yeah, we learned that the hard way.

It's not too the same, it's too different. Yeah, it's exponential. Yeah, we learned that the hard way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so with the guilt, and I imagine it there like I don't know if it's more than double the guilt, but how do you how do you process that guilt and move.

And so with the guilt, and I imagine it there like I don't know if it's more than double the guilt, but how do you how do you process that guilt and move.

On from it as opposed to letting it eat you up?

On from it as opposed to letting it eat you up?

Just talk about it. I mean that it comes in many forms. A good example was I remember the first time I actually physically went back into the office for a day's work and I had some meetings. I was like, I'm going in today. And then I remember getting into the office and I got so much done that day. I bumped into people, I had adult conversation. It was great. And then and then I got a picture from a girlfriend popery through the day and she's out with the kids doing stuff, and I was like, oh, you're a bad dad. It's not what she intended. She was sending me a picture to remind me of like they were fine. She was fine, they're having fun. But I was like, you're a bad Dad, You're not there to help with feed. You're not there all with the change. You're not like, what are you? So you're having all this fun. You know, you're having lunch, You're relaxing. You're not going to carry in the world. I did have a car in the world. I had meetings and work to do. But to go into that adult mode and be wholly focused on that, it's very different from my work from home mode. My work from home mode is a lot of context switching. It's I'll do a meeting, I'll do a workshop, I'll do a zoom call, and then I'm like, I got a half hour break. What can I do in that half hour? I'm not getting ahead with work. I'm like, I can help a echo something, i can put some laundry on, I can cook some food and nip the seed Mike or whatever. Because I'm playing two roles at the same time, and I like that duality. I'm fine with it. Like it's it's actually quite modal and it works. I'm like spike of work. You know, I start early in the morning, seven am us calls brilliant hold of the stuff, and I'm like, right, I'm going to the supermarket. I can't do a supercowers to come back decent more meetings, decent war works, and I'm like, right, I'm going to cook some food. My brains trust I'll cook some food, do some more stuff, bath the kids, and I'm like, I've got an house worth of working me right, I'm going to get so so that modular works. But there's no guilt with it when it's modulo, because I get a little bit sprinter on the day when it's binary. When it's Dad walks out the door and leaves and I'm sat there, even though my commuter works fourteen minutes, for those fourteen minutes might as well be a million miles because I'm like, I can't help if something goes wrong, right, and if you need me, if one kid's done something to the nappy and the other one needs a feel if something happens and you've got one set of hands and two kids, I'm not there to help. And that just filled me with guilt. So I was like, Okay, that feels normal, like in a natural response. So I talked to my girlfriend about it. I'm like, here's how I feel like, and it's weird because I want to do more time at home, but I need to. And she's like, you are the primary earner. You keep a roof overhead. Part of your role as dad is to maintain that job, and that's part of your job. Don't feel guilty. So then it's like, okay, cool, how do we handle this? So the way we handle it is early warnings. So I'm like, I communicated with work, with my team, my extended team at work, and I'm like, if you want me to travel for work, I need at least six weeks notice. So like why, I was like, because that's the only fair thing to do, right, The only fair thing for Beckery is to go right. In six weeks, I'm going to Nashville. I'm going to be away for a week. Let's plan for that, knowing that we can't plan for it because stuff's going to happen that's out of our control. But what are the things we need to get in place so you're comfortable for that week? And I'm comfortable and not feeling guilty because if I go to Nashville but my head's still in Sydney because I feel guilty, then I'm doing need the job well.

Just talk about it. I mean that it comes in many forms. A good example was I remember the first time I actually physically went back into the office for a day's work and I had some meetings. I was like, I'm going in today. And then I remember getting into the office and I got so much done that day. I bumped into people, I had adult conversation. It was great. And then and then I got a picture from a girlfriend popery through the day and she's out with the kids doing stuff, and I was like, oh, you're a bad dad. It's not what she intended. She was sending me a picture to remind me of like they were fine. She was fine, they're having fun. But I was like, you're a bad Dad, You're not there to help with feed. You're not there all with the change. You're not like, what are you? So you're having all this fun. You know, you're having lunch, You're relaxing. You're not going to carry in the world. I did have a car in the world. I had meetings and work to do. But to go into that adult mode and be wholly focused on that, it's very different from my work from home mode. My work from home mode is a lot of context switching. It's I'll do a meeting, I'll do a workshop, I'll do a zoom call, and then I'm like, I got a half hour break. What can I do in that half hour? I'm not getting ahead with work. I'm like, I can help a echo something, i can put some laundry on, I can cook some food and nip the seed Mike or whatever. Because I'm playing two roles at the same time, and I like that duality. I'm fine with it. Like it's it's actually quite modal and it works. I'm like spike of work. You know, I start early in the morning, seven am us calls brilliant hold of the stuff, and I'm like, right, I'm going to the supermarket. I can't do a supercowers to come back decent more meetings, decent war works, and I'm like, right, I'm going to cook some food. My brains trust I'll cook some food, do some more stuff, bath the kids, and I'm like, I've got an house worth of working me right, I'm going to get so so that modular works. But there's no guilt with it when it's modulo, because I get a little bit sprinter on the day when it's binary. When it's Dad walks out the door and leaves and I'm sat there, even though my commuter works fourteen minutes, for those fourteen minutes might as well be a million miles because I'm like, I can't help if something goes wrong, right, and if you need me, if one kid's done something to the nappy and the other one needs a feel if something happens and you've got one set of hands and two kids, I'm not there to help. And that just filled me with guilt. So I was like, Okay, that feels normal, like in a natural response. So I talked to my girlfriend about it. I'm like, here's how I feel like, and it's weird because I want to do more time at home, but I need to. And she's like, you are the primary earner. You keep a roof overhead. Part of your role as dad is to maintain that job, and that's part of your job. Don't feel guilty. So then it's like, okay, cool, how do we handle this? So the way we handle it is early warnings. So I'm like, I communicated with work, with my team, my extended team at work, and I'm like, if you want me to travel for work, I need at least six weeks notice. So like why, I was like, because that's the only fair thing to do, right, The only fair thing for Beckery is to go right. In six weeks, I'm going to Nashville. I'm going to be away for a week. Let's plan for that, knowing that we can't plan for it because stuff's going to happen that's out of our control. But what are the things we need to get in place so you're comfortable for that week? And I'm comfortable and not feeling guilty because if I go to Nashville but my head's still in Sydney because I feel guilty, then I'm doing need the job well.

So when I'm in.

So when I'm in.

Nashville, I have to immerse, I have to be unapologetic, and so it was fascinating. I got some really bad advice from a friend, which was, when you're traveling, don't tell your partner how much fun you're having, which kind of makes sense, right, you don't want to rub it in. But then with one trip, I like I was down playing it and Becky was like, are you're not enjoying it? I was like, I'm actually having a really good time and I'm getting a lot done. She's like, good, that's why you're there, Like do that and I'm like, yeah, why am I pretending that it's rubbish when it's not? And so again we've been unapologetically honest with each other. She's unapologistically honest if she's struggling or if he's going really well, and vice versa, right, And so that candor and openness has really helped. And then the forward planning, right, and then just knowing what is that ritual? So we have a silly ritual. I do all the cooking in the house. Ill of cooking is my relaxation and you.

Nashville, I have to immerse, I have to be unapologetic, and so it was fascinating. I got some really bad advice from a friend, which was, when you're traveling, don't tell your partner how much fun you're having, which kind of makes sense, right, you don't want to rub it in. But then with one trip, I like I was down playing it and Becky was like, are you're not enjoying it? I was like, I'm actually having a really good time and I'm getting a lot done. She's like, good, that's why you're there, Like do that and I'm like, yeah, why am I pretending that it's rubbish when it's not? And so again we've been unapologetically honest with each other. She's unapologistically honest if she's struggling or if he's going really well, and vice versa, right, And so that candor and openness has really helped. And then the forward planning, right, and then just knowing what is that ritual? So we have a silly ritual. I do all the cooking in the house. Ill of cooking is my relaxation and you.

Take lots of photos of it as well, which I appreciate. Yeah, So the.

Take lots of photos of it as well, which I appreciate. Yeah, So the.

Rule is is before I go on a trip, I cook all the meals. So the other week I was in Portugal for an event with one of Alastian's large customers. Flew out on a Sunday Saturday afternoon, went to the seedmarket, filled the trolley and had a great time. I cooked four different meals for Becka, her old housemate moved in for the week. She's like, if you cooking that food, I want to come and hang out. And I put all the meals for the kids, which's great. That was my therapy, right, I genuine enjoy it. But cooking all that takes that takes the guilt away, takes the pressure off the freezer. The fridge is full, so there's one less thing to worry about. I know you're going to be fed. Anything else we can work out afterwards, right, So it's little tips and tricks of how we balance it to front load back end stuff and then just communicate about it.

Rule is is before I go on a trip, I cook all the meals. So the other week I was in Portugal for an event with one of Alastian's large customers. Flew out on a Sunday Saturday afternoon, went to the seedmarket, filled the trolley and had a great time. I cooked four different meals for Becka, her old housemate moved in for the week. She's like, if you cooking that food, I want to come and hang out. And I put all the meals for the kids, which's great. That was my therapy, right, I genuine enjoy it. But cooking all that takes that takes the guilt away, takes the pressure off the freezer. The fridge is full, so there's one less thing to worry about. I know you're going to be fed. Anything else we can work out afterwards, right, So it's little tips and tricks of how we balance it to front load back end stuff and then just communicate about it.

It just sounds idealic, how giver esque.

It just sounds idealic, how giver esque.

I guess it sounds like you both are and how thoughtful you both are. I know that something you know that has been a struggle to work out and get right is after you know you've got these two beautiful boys that are thirteen months old. What happens to intimacy?

I guess it sounds like you both are and how thoughtful you both are. I know that something you know that has been a struggle to work out and get right is after you know you've got these two beautiful boys that are thirteen months old. What happens to intimacy?

Yeah, I mean it's probably the most profound experience of the kids arriving. So I want to break it into two. There was, how like the intimacy under the panel of like admiration for each other, Skyrockety went through the roof. So I just like on a daily basis, hourly basis, would just sit there in awe, right as this person who I'd only been dating for like two and a half three years and we're madly in love, but you're like it's new still, right, and so you've got this admiration, and then these two kids arrive and you're like, oh, this is a whole new role for both of us. But the way she stepped into that, I'm like, oh, like, it's likely been doing this forever, like like not in a complete naturally, she wasn't skipping around the house with the head done. She's she's wearing a dirty dressing gown covered in kids sick. But the way we just navigated it, I just honestly watching all What I didn't realize was she was watching in all in reverse, right, And so there was a few nights where we'd share that, and we talked to each other, not in a gushy, in a going like I feel like I'm more in love with you, I feel more connected to you. All these things are amazing. Flip of that, right, the physical side of intimacy disappears, right, combination of exhaustion, kids latched on to mother, there's a whole little logistical things, the fact that the kids are in the bedroom. We like, there's a whole stuff going on, and so it was a non sacrifice, no own trade off. But also you get to that point of going, I still have that need and it's not like a caveman craviny. It's a closeness. It's a proximity, right, and so you can replace that with hugs and holding each other. And we did a huge and still do a huge amount of that. But I remember early on having this conversation and I think I don't know how it started, but it ended up with is both apologizing, right, apologizing for what we were thinking, not what we were doing, but what we were thinking. And I think we both end up chuckling, going we should have spoken about this earlier and didn't, because it's like the elephant in the room that intimacy isn't there, and we both know it's not there, and we're both okay with it, but for some weird fear of repercussions, neither of us have said anything about it. So we're having this chat in our head.

Yeah, I mean it's probably the most profound experience of the kids arriving. So I want to break it into two. There was, how like the intimacy under the panel of like admiration for each other, Skyrockety went through the roof. So I just like on a daily basis, hourly basis, would just sit there in awe, right as this person who I'd only been dating for like two and a half three years and we're madly in love, but you're like it's new still, right, and so you've got this admiration, and then these two kids arrive and you're like, oh, this is a whole new role for both of us. But the way she stepped into that, I'm like, oh, like, it's likely been doing this forever, like like not in a complete naturally, she wasn't skipping around the house with the head done. She's she's wearing a dirty dressing gown covered in kids sick. But the way we just navigated it, I just honestly watching all What I didn't realize was she was watching in all in reverse, right, And so there was a few nights where we'd share that, and we talked to each other, not in a gushy, in a going like I feel like I'm more in love with you, I feel more connected to you. All these things are amazing. Flip of that, right, the physical side of intimacy disappears, right, combination of exhaustion, kids latched on to mother, there's a whole little logistical things, the fact that the kids are in the bedroom. We like, there's a whole stuff going on, and so it was a non sacrifice, no own trade off. But also you get to that point of going, I still have that need and it's not like a caveman craviny. It's a closeness. It's a proximity, right, and so you can replace that with hugs and holding each other. And we did a huge and still do a huge amount of that. But I remember early on having this conversation and I think I don't know how it started, but it ended up with is both apologizing, right, apologizing for what we were thinking, not what we were doing, but what we were thinking. And I think we both end up chuckling, going we should have spoken about this earlier and didn't, because it's like the elephant in the room that intimacy isn't there, and we both know it's not there, and we're both okay with it, but for some weird fear of repercussions, neither of us have said anything about it. So we're having this chat in our head.

That never ends.

That never ends.

Well, right, no, no, So stop chating about it in our head, and let's have the conversation openly, like what does that mean? And how would we tap into that? And when's the right time and what does it feel like now? Because it's different, right, and it is just different. And so we had a brilliant conversation about it about how were we going to find a way not of reconnecting because we hadn't lost a connection, but there was an element of our balance that was missing on purpose. How do we then add that in on purpose but not in some cheesy fashion like I'm not going to put Barry White on a Tuesday night and seen agy like that's not happening, but nor can it be Like it's two pm, I've not got a meeting kids down, She'd be like, so accidentally become really transactional. This is going, you know what the fundamentals there, like we're madly in love with each other, so we're good. It's about the building blocks and that combination. So the more we had that conversation and put each other at ease. She was worried about my feelings, I was worried about hers. The more we put it ease, the more naturally be came.

Well, right, no, no, So stop chating about it in our head, and let's have the conversation openly, like what does that mean? And how would we tap into that? And when's the right time and what does it feel like now? Because it's different, right, and it is just different. And so we had a brilliant conversation about it about how were we going to find a way not of reconnecting because we hadn't lost a connection, but there was an element of our balance that was missing on purpose. How do we then add that in on purpose but not in some cheesy fashion like I'm not going to put Barry White on a Tuesday night and seen agy like that's not happening, but nor can it be Like it's two pm, I've not got a meeting kids down, She'd be like, so accidentally become really transactional. This is going, you know what the fundamentals there, like we're madly in love with each other, so we're good. It's about the building blocks and that combination. So the more we had that conversation and put each other at ease. She was worried about my feelings, I was worried about hers. The more we put it ease, the more naturally be came.

I can imagine with intimacy though, And what I think is really common with a lot of new parents is that the in heterosexual relationships, the woman's needs are really different from the man's needs. And so what do you do in the situation where like, you've connected, you've talked, you've talked about the elephant in the room, but your needs are just different.

I can imagine with intimacy though, And what I think is really common with a lot of new parents is that the in heterosexual relationships, the woman's needs are really different from the man's needs. And so what do you do in the situation where like, you've connected, you've talked, you've talked about the elephant in the room, but your needs are just different.

How do you navigate that?

How do you navigate that?

I think just I mean, the first step for me is always understanding. So I'm like, I'm not a woman, so I'm like, I know lots of them, but I'm not going to pretend I can understand how any of you work. So just tell me, like, tell me how you're feeling right now. And so there was times actually that the first few times we had breathing space, we probably just lie in the bedroom going okay, kids are down, and got the monitor, normally got a cup of tea. It's the middle of the day, it's middle of the night. Who knows what time it is. You lost all track, but you lay there and you're like, we now have room to have a conversation. It's like, how are you feeling about this? Like what what is your mood? And where's your mind at versus your body? Right, So that became a fascinating conversation for going no, no, I know mentally that's maybe where we want to go. Physically, that ain't going to happen, right, We're not in that place yet. So pause, like, there's no rush, this isn't this isn't urgent. It's important, And so that gave a chance to go, okay, it's fine, like no one's going to die from this, Like it's good. And so just having that conversation and going where where's the and again it sounds mechanical and working, where's the trade off?

I think just I mean, the first step for me is always understanding. So I'm like, I'm not a woman, so I'm like, I know lots of them, but I'm not going to pretend I can understand how any of you work. So just tell me, like, tell me how you're feeling right now. And so there was times actually that the first few times we had breathing space, we probably just lie in the bedroom going okay, kids are down, and got the monitor, normally got a cup of tea. It's the middle of the day, it's middle of the night. Who knows what time it is. You lost all track, but you lay there and you're like, we now have room to have a conversation. It's like, how are you feeling about this? Like what what is your mood? And where's your mind at versus your body? Right, So that became a fascinating conversation for going no, no, I know mentally that's maybe where we want to go. Physically, that ain't going to happen, right, We're not in that place yet. So pause, like, there's no rush, this isn't this isn't urgent. It's important, And so that gave a chance to go, okay, it's fine, like no one's going to die from this, Like it's good. And so just having that conversation and going where where's the and again it sounds mechanical and working, where's the trade off?

Right?

Right?

What is the And it's like, well, there's no, there's no urgency. So it's fine as long as we're having conversations about it. If it becomes a to be so, then it's like, what are the signals we're going down the wrong path When it becomes a taboo topic, right, if it's a taboo topic, all bets are off. We're broke, right, So it's like, well, it's not, so let's keep the conversation going. And when it happens, it happens, and it's good. And by the way, you know, not last time it happened, but one time it happened, you created twins. So let's just pause and I understand the repercussions now. And so it became like take the pressure off. And then instead of it being about intimacy sex, it became about what are the ways in which we connect which are meaningful, and so having that conversation around going. If you think about that headline of intimacy, there's many things contribute to that. It could be holding hands, it could be me cooking a dinner, it could be a hold of stuff where you So, here's my way of communicating that I care about you and love you. One of those is sex. And when that's missing, it can put the pressure on the rest if you don't talk about it. And then when you talk about it like all solvable, all doable. And by the way, our expectations of each other are completely different because we have two absolutely mental kids running around the house, So it is just at some point you're going to go. It is what it is. It's just different.

What is the And it's like, well, there's no, there's no urgency. So it's fine as long as we're having conversations about it. If it becomes a to be so, then it's like, what are the signals we're going down the wrong path When it becomes a taboo topic, right, if it's a taboo topic, all bets are off. We're broke, right, So it's like, well, it's not, so let's keep the conversation going. And when it happens, it happens, and it's good. And by the way, you know, not last time it happened, but one time it happened, you created twins. So let's just pause and I understand the repercussions now. And so it became like take the pressure off. And then instead of it being about intimacy sex, it became about what are the ways in which we connect which are meaningful, and so having that conversation around going. If you think about that headline of intimacy, there's many things contribute to that. It could be holding hands, it could be me cooking a dinner, it could be a hold of stuff where you So, here's my way of communicating that I care about you and love you. One of those is sex. And when that's missing, it can put the pressure on the rest if you don't talk about it. And then when you talk about it like all solvable, all doable. And by the way, our expectations of each other are completely different because we have two absolutely mental kids running around the house, So it is just at some point you're going to go. It is what it is. It's just different.

We will be back soon with Dom talking about one of his favorite and most important rituals for his mental health. If you're looking for more tips to improve the way you work and live, I write a weekly newsletter where I share practical and simple to apply tips to improve your life. You can sign up for that at Amantha dot substack dot com. That's Amantha dot substack dot com. I know that one of your most important mental health rituals is the walk that you do on Saturdays. Can you tell me about how that started and what role that says?

We will be back soon with Dom talking about one of his favorite and most important rituals for his mental health. If you're looking for more tips to improve the way you work and live, I write a weekly newsletter where I share practical and simple to apply tips to improve your life. You can sign up for that at Amantha dot substack dot com. That's Amantha dot substack dot com. I know that one of your most important mental health rituals is the walk that you do on Saturdays. Can you tell me about how that started and what role that says?

It started in the five Klamus five kilometer lockdown in the pandemic. ME and a friend and we'd occasionally catch up. We were each other's person for a while, and then we quickly realized it was just about a five kilometer overlap at this central point where we park and then and when then we'd do a lap and it became a mental healthy In the pandemic, we're both struggling with with loneliness and separation. Our work had fundamentally changed. We're both quite extrivated, outgoing people, We're suddenly working at a desk and a screen, Like a whold of stuff changed, like, let's just hang out and connect on it. And it became a very therapeutic exercise, you know. Then then me and Becker felt pregnant, you know, and there's a whole of stuff for him happening and me happening. And so we connected on it. And then when the pandemic restrictions ease, were like should we should we we keep that, We'll keep that, We'll keep that, and so we kept it. And then and then it stopped for a while when the kids were going and I'm like, ah, such such things gone wrong overnight. I feel guilty leaving the house living Becka. She's exhausted, kids were exhausted. And I dropped it a few times and then he Becka said to me, shoes like you need to add that back in, like you're clearly missing out its like I am. It's a bouncing act for me, right when I adding that positive electronic deals with some negative electrons, it just bounces out. So more often than not, unless one of us have got something crazy going on, we have this catch up. There's never an agenda, there's never a topic. We just go and we joked about it this Weeking says like it's a joint therapy. Sometimes it's more of me we struggles and he's helping, or fifty to fifty. It's never very rarely is it one person dominating, but there's always a different like here's the thing I've dealt.

It started in the five Klamus five kilometer lockdown in the pandemic. ME and a friend and we'd occasionally catch up. We were each other's person for a while, and then we quickly realized it was just about a five kilometer overlap at this central point where we park and then and when then we'd do a lap and it became a mental healthy In the pandemic, we're both struggling with with loneliness and separation. Our work had fundamentally changed. We're both quite extrivated, outgoing people, We're suddenly working at a desk and a screen, Like a whold of stuff changed, like, let's just hang out and connect on it. And it became a very therapeutic exercise, you know. Then then me and Becker felt pregnant, you know, and there's a whole of stuff for him happening and me happening. And so we connected on it. And then when the pandemic restrictions ease, were like should we should we we keep that, We'll keep that, We'll keep that, and so we kept it. And then and then it stopped for a while when the kids were going and I'm like, ah, such such things gone wrong overnight. I feel guilty leaving the house living Becka. She's exhausted, kids were exhausted. And I dropped it a few times and then he Becka said to me, shoes like you need to add that back in, like you're clearly missing out its like I am. It's a bouncing act for me, right when I adding that positive electronic deals with some negative electrons, it just bounces out. So more often than not, unless one of us have got something crazy going on, we have this catch up. There's never an agenda, there's never a topic. We just go and we joked about it this Weeking says like it's a joint therapy. Sometimes it's more of me we struggles and he's helping, or fifty to fifty. It's never very rarely is it one person dominating, but there's always a different like here's the thing I've dealt.

With in the last week. Helped me unpack it.

With in the last week. Helped me unpack it.

We've got this brutal honesty with each other where you can't get away with any bs. So that really helps, like that they're calling on that and we've got each other back. It's like, hey, thinking about it differently, what about this perspective? But it's funny how I can't It's not because any like Kine of six secrecy that I can't tell you what we talked about. It's just a free flowing conversation that at the end of that Saturday morning, I'm like, I'm good. Things are good, and so having that has really helped. And then I've multiplied it by saying once I tapped into that, I was like, Okay, what else can I do for mental health? And the second step with my soccer team, so you know, in the pandemic, we lost a few games and we couldn't play, and I could just feel the angst and it's I'm not a massive workout kind of person, but the exercise part of soccer is great. The social aspect of twenty four guys, I can't tell you what anything to do for a living because no one cares. Right that there's Billy and there's Richie and there's pack, Like there's all these people and you're like, like, when there's not a game on, we go for a beer and we chat, we hang.

We've got this brutal honesty with each other where you can't get away with any bs. So that really helps, like that they're calling on that and we've got each other back. It's like, hey, thinking about it differently, what about this perspective? But it's funny how I can't It's not because any like Kine of six secrecy that I can't tell you what we talked about. It's just a free flowing conversation that at the end of that Saturday morning, I'm like, I'm good. Things are good, and so having that has really helped. And then I've multiplied it by saying once I tapped into that, I was like, Okay, what else can I do for mental health? And the second step with my soccer team, so you know, in the pandemic, we lost a few games and we couldn't play, and I could just feel the angst and it's I'm not a massive workout kind of person, but the exercise part of soccer is great. The social aspect of twenty four guys, I can't tell you what anything to do for a living because no one cares. Right that there's Billy and there's Richie and there's pack, Like there's all these people and you're like, like, when there's not a game on, we go for a beer and we chat, we hang.

Out and it's just this like you mad people.

Out and it's just this like you mad people.

And I think when you've got your people, you tribe, your community, whatever they are, and you feel that safety. No, I don't think it's psychological. Safety's a different form of safety. It's like no one actually gives a crap safety. There's no no one cares if anyone's a CEO or a bin man, Like it doesn't matter that collegiate feel. I don't know if it's unique to guys. I think guys struggle more with friendships in the forties. I've read a whole od of stuff on it. But having those networks great for mental health because you're like, I've got someone there to talk to foran to and so just knowing there's that outlet takes it is like a release valve and it takes that pressure off. And I think it's not that I need that on extreme it. If I did it ten more times, I wouldn't be ten times better. But having those different release veils, whether it be the walk, whether it be the soccer game or the beers afterwards, just give me those those access points to get the frustrations of the event or whatever out and you're like, you know what, all is good, All is good, and you go again, right, and it's just like it's almost like a rinse for the soul.

And I think when you've got your people, you tribe, your community, whatever they are, and you feel that safety. No, I don't think it's psychological. Safety's a different form of safety. It's like no one actually gives a crap safety. There's no no one cares if anyone's a CEO or a bin man, Like it doesn't matter that collegiate feel. I don't know if it's unique to guys. I think guys struggle more with friendships in the forties. I've read a whole od of stuff on it. But having those networks great for mental health because you're like, I've got someone there to talk to foran to and so just knowing there's that outlet takes it is like a release valve and it takes that pressure off. And I think it's not that I need that on extreme it. If I did it ten more times, I wouldn't be ten times better. But having those different release veils, whether it be the walk, whether it be the soccer game or the beers afterwards, just give me those those access points to get the frustrations of the event or whatever out and you're like, you know what, all is good, All is good, and you go again, right, and it's just like it's almost like a rinse for the soul.

I'm curious, you know, in the next year or so, like, have there experiments with your your health and well being that maybe you haven't tried but you might be key to try out.

I'm curious, you know, in the next year or so, like, have there experiments with your your health and well being that maybe you haven't tried but you might be key to try out.

Yeah, so there's a few I'm sort of consplating right now. So again the benefits of living with a nutritionist. Becky regularly likes to experiment and hack on me, which is great. Right, There's a new supplement powder that's she gave me the other week and I'm like, I don't know what's in that, but it's working. Like I just my energy levels are more consistent dru on the day, all the stuff Like diet's the hard one for me, Like I know the things that I shouldn't eat that I enjoy and finding that balance of understanding and repercussion, certainly post surgery. Sometimes I can get away with it and then up until the point I can't, and it hits pretty hard, so I have to be really conscious of that. The big one for me is around energy, right, and it's not just the energy with the kids or work. It's like mindset and approach and son then it becomes this like the supplements, it's the food, it's the sleep pattern. The big thing for me is around travel. So I'm working with Beck at the minute. I'm like, can you create like trademark the travel pack. The travel pack is a nutritionness that you can package up for me. Because when I'm at home and you look after me, it's really easy. But when I go on the road and I'm looking after myself, there's a gap. Right, So the healthy regime I have in the routine of home easy to comply with, is no trade us and I'm on the road and so I'm att left at an event and there's Canna pays out and I'm like, oh, right, you start nibbling on stuff. And then I was like, I don't normally drink during the week, and the beers and I'll just have a bit of take off its second. So there's little things and then you sleep a bit differently, and for me right now, the impacts of that can be quite profound. So I'm like, Okay, when I'm on the road, what are the tips and tricks of how I resist some of that temptation? Right, So don't I don't get myself into a painful situation.

Yeah, so there's a few I'm sort of consplating right now. So again the benefits of living with a nutritionist. Becky regularly likes to experiment and hack on me, which is great. Right, There's a new supplement powder that's she gave me the other week and I'm like, I don't know what's in that, but it's working. Like I just my energy levels are more consistent dru on the day, all the stuff Like diet's the hard one for me, Like I know the things that I shouldn't eat that I enjoy and finding that balance of understanding and repercussion, certainly post surgery. Sometimes I can get away with it and then up until the point I can't, and it hits pretty hard, so I have to be really conscious of that. The big one for me is around energy, right, and it's not just the energy with the kids or work. It's like mindset and approach and son then it becomes this like the supplements, it's the food, it's the sleep pattern. The big thing for me is around travel. So I'm working with Beck at the minute. I'm like, can you create like trademark the travel pack. The travel pack is a nutritionness that you can package up for me. Because when I'm at home and you look after me, it's really easy. But when I go on the road and I'm looking after myself, there's a gap. Right, So the healthy regime I have in the routine of home easy to comply with, is no trade us and I'm on the road and so I'm att left at an event and there's Canna pays out and I'm like, oh, right, you start nibbling on stuff. And then I was like, I don't normally drink during the week, and the beers and I'll just have a bit of take off its second. So there's little things and then you sleep a bit differently, and for me right now, the impacts of that can be quite profound. So I'm like, Okay, when I'm on the road, what are the tips and tricks of how I resist some of that temptation? Right, So don't I don't get myself into a painful situation.

But also, what's the.

But also, what's the.

Thing you can give me, either in terms of routine or supplements that actually help me with that balance. So there's a whole of hydration stuff that she's been giving me that I used in Nashville and I forgot it this week, but that when I do that, I'm like, oh, I sleep a little bit better. That sleeps a little bit deeper, so I wake up a little bit. If I wake up better, I'm not craving a bacon egg sandwich. I'm craving fruit. So I know I know that my day is decided in that first hour. When I travel, it's more baking egg sandwich, right, when I'm at home, it's more fruits. I'm like, okay, how can I copy some of the home routine to travel? Because the travel is not going away, and what I need is the travel to pay less of a tax because certainly the international travel at my stage of life, with my health, if I did too much of that, I needed it for my work. So that's not debatable. But how I do it is up for debate. And doing it in a way that doesn't compromise health is an experiment I want to work with because the demand won't go away, so therefore I need to change how I turn up for it.

Thing you can give me, either in terms of routine or supplements that actually help me with that balance. So there's a whole of hydration stuff that she's been giving me that I used in Nashville and I forgot it this week, but that when I do that, I'm like, oh, I sleep a little bit better. That sleeps a little bit deeper, so I wake up a little bit. If I wake up better, I'm not craving a bacon egg sandwich. I'm craving fruit. So I know I know that my day is decided in that first hour. When I travel, it's more baking egg sandwich, right, when I'm at home, it's more fruits. I'm like, okay, how can I copy some of the home routine to travel? Because the travel is not going away, and what I need is the travel to pay less of a tax because certainly the international travel at my stage of life, with my health, if I did too much of that, I needed it for my work. So that's not debatable. But how I do it is up for debate. And doing it in a way that doesn't compromise health is an experiment I want to work with because the demand won't go away, so therefore I need to change how I turn up for it.

So supplementation aside, what else are you going to try in terms of taking the edge off travel or making it more manageable?

So supplementation aside, what else are you going to try in terms of taking the edge off travel or making it more manageable?

So routine and I'm not a routine person, never have been right, I'm mister serendipity.

So routine and I'm not a routine person, never have been right, I'm mister serendipity.

A routine.

A routine.

It's been important. I did an exercise yesterday in between the different sessions I had.

It's been important. I did an exercise yesterday in between the different sessions I had.

I'm like, it's.

I'm like, it's.

A twelve minute or a thirty minute walk, And I looked at my phone. I was like, I have thirty minutes. I can walk it. You know, I've got my corporate credit card. I can also Uber it and it doesn't cost me anything. But if I uber it, I just get there eighteen minutes early. And so what right, Whereas I've got the time, So I put my headphones in, listen to some music, got myself in a better headspace because the head plays some music, relaxed or the endorphins whatever, had a stroll, got some fresh airs and that's some cool.

A twelve minute or a thirty minute walk, And I looked at my phone. I was like, I have thirty minutes. I can walk it. You know, I've got my corporate credit card. I can also Uber it and it doesn't cost me anything. But if I uber it, I just get there eighteen minutes early. And so what right, Whereas I've got the time, So I put my headphones in, listen to some music, got myself in a better headspace because the head plays some music, relaxed or the endorphins whatever, had a stroll, got some fresh airs and that's some cool.

Yesterday and Melbourne got to the venue. I'm like, I'm ready.

Yesterday and Melbourne got to the venue. I'm like, I'm ready.

I was way more ready than if I've got an uber there, so little tricks around around where I can squeeze in exercise, certainly when I'm traveling, because I normally cram stuff in when I'm traveling. And then just understanding like listening to my body more like, I don't think it's rocket science for any of us to go. You probably knew way before you fell ill that you're going to fall ill, right for a lot of us when it comes to burn out or the early science of stress induced tiredness or worn out and stuff. So I'm like, Okay, I just need to wake up to the fact I can hear the signals, I can choose to ignore them and rationalize them, but how do I pick them early? And prevent. And that's where I'm trying to practice a little bit. More is to go. Don't push too hard on signing up for too many things right, allow for some space in the schedule for that serendipity. Be very purposeful with travel, be very purposeful with events. Saying no, like I've said no more in the last three or six months, and we'll con continue to say no to stuff in the next six months because demand is higher than supply and so and again, unapologetic like I used to say sorry, and when people I said sorry, they're like, we'll do it another time. I'm like, no, it'd probably be a no then as well. It's just a no. And I just need to brave up to just say no more. And it's weird because I thought the consequences would be really high. Say no to something I'm not doing, I miss out, and then you don't do it and you're like, no, idn't I didn't miss out. I'm gonna If I've got finite energy, and I have and I've got finite time, how could I spend it on the things that are the most rewarding that that's something I do on purpose. Now, it doesn't mean it's not you understand my world of public speaking, it's not a guaranteed bet. Some events I set up for I'm like, I reckon this, one's gonna be amazing. You're like that was awful, and others where I'm like, I'm not so bothered by that, and you arrive there and you're like, that was hum ding, That's brilliant. There's not a direct science or logics all of it. However, I'm placing the bets. So if I'm placing the bets and I pay the consequences, instead of going I'm going to put a dollar in all forty nine numbers and spin the rule, I'm going to I'm going to be a little bit more pragmatic and sensible, and that involves me going, well, what's my goals right now?

I was way more ready than if I've got an uber there, so little tricks around around where I can squeeze in exercise, certainly when I'm traveling, because I normally cram stuff in when I'm traveling. And then just understanding like listening to my body more like, I don't think it's rocket science for any of us to go. You probably knew way before you fell ill that you're going to fall ill, right for a lot of us when it comes to burn out or the early science of stress induced tiredness or worn out and stuff. So I'm like, Okay, I just need to wake up to the fact I can hear the signals, I can choose to ignore them and rationalize them, but how do I pick them early? And prevent. And that's where I'm trying to practice a little bit. More is to go. Don't push too hard on signing up for too many things right, allow for some space in the schedule for that serendipity. Be very purposeful with travel, be very purposeful with events. Saying no, like I've said no more in the last three or six months, and we'll con continue to say no to stuff in the next six months because demand is higher than supply and so and again, unapologetic like I used to say sorry, and when people I said sorry, they're like, we'll do it another time. I'm like, no, it'd probably be a no then as well. It's just a no. And I just need to brave up to just say no more. And it's weird because I thought the consequences would be really high. Say no to something I'm not doing, I miss out, and then you don't do it and you're like, no, idn't I didn't miss out. I'm gonna If I've got finite energy, and I have and I've got finite time, how could I spend it on the things that are the most rewarding that that's something I do on purpose. Now, it doesn't mean it's not you understand my world of public speaking, it's not a guaranteed bet. Some events I set up for I'm like, I reckon this, one's gonna be amazing. You're like that was awful, and others where I'm like, I'm not so bothered by that, and you arrive there and you're like, that was hum ding, That's brilliant. There's not a direct science or logics all of it. However, I'm placing the bets. So if I'm placing the bets and I pay the consequences, instead of going I'm going to put a dollar in all forty nine numbers and spin the rule, I'm going to I'm going to be a little bit more pragmatic and sensible, and that involves me going, well, what's my goals right now?

What do I want to achieve this year?

What do I want to achieve this year?

With my boss this morning, before I came out of a conversation, I'm like, let's talk about what success looks like for the next year. But I want to call it in two different ways. One is surviving, the other one is thriving. Because I want to survive, Like, let's be honest, I want to survive. I want to keep my job. And perform well. I want to meet all the expectations that you have of me, right, and I want you to meet that. That's a conversation we should have. But I also have discretionary energy and discretionary time, and that might enable me to exceed in a few ways. But if I second guess where I spend my discretion of energy, the chance.