Dating is hard. But when you have your life together, somehow, it gets harder. Therapist Dani Lewin explains why, and what to actually do about it.

She gets into why dating gets more complicated the older and more established you become, what your checklist is actually telling you, and how to rethink what "settling" really means.

We also talk about non-negotiables, the ick, and what women actually find emotionally attractive in men.

If the relationship piece feels like the one thing you can't solve, we think Dani can help.

New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy.

And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it’s not. So if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help.

0:00 – Why dating feels impossible
2:13 – Love is a merger, not a startup
5:10 – How to find your real non-negotiables
9:14 – The ick is actually about you
12:03 – The operating system you should break
19:44 – You're not settling, you're choosing
25:25 – Masculinity and strength relationships
33:28 – Should relationships feel ‘good’?
37:44 – Why you're addicted to highs and lows
41:36 – What Ben & Kevin need to work on