What if the person your child needs protection from is someone they already know and trust? Child sexual abuse is an uncomfortable topic, but staying silent can leave children without the knowledge or confidence to speak up. Dr Justin Coulson talks with counselling psychotherapist Karen Phillip, author of I Thought He Was My Friend, about grooming, recognising warning signs, teaching children the difference between secrets and surprises, and helping them find their voice. Learn how to have age-appropriate conversations that keep children safe without making them afraid of the world.

KEY POINTS:

• Why children are often harmed by someone they already know and trust.

• The difference between secrets and surprises, and why the distinction matters.

• How grooming uses trust, threats and secrecy to silence children.

• Why children need to know they don't have to be polite when someone makes them uncomfortable.

• How to recognise changes in behaviour, including refusing to visit certain people or places.

• How to ask open-ended questions and listen without leading your child's answers.

• Why conversations about personal safety need to start when children are young.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

"If it's not feeling comfortable for you, then it's not right for you."

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• I Thought He Was My Friend by Karen Phillip

• Happy Families: happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

• Teach your children that surprises are shared, but secrets should never have to be kept.

• Remind them they never have to be polite when someone crosses their boundaries.

• Start age-appropriate conversations about personal safety from a young age.

• Ask open-ended questions such as "What's making you feel uncomfortable?" rather than questions that suggest an answer.

• Take changes in behaviour seriously, especially when a child suddenly refuses to visit someone or go somewhere.

• Make sure your child knows they can always tell you something, and you will listen without getting angry.