Few things break a parent’s heart like leaving your toddler at childcare while they cry, scream, and beg you not to go. Is this the same as “cry it out”? Is it harming their development—or just part of growing up?

In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the science of separation anxiety and share practical, compassionate strategies to ease drop-off stress—for your child and for you.

KEY POINTS

• Why toddler separation anxiety is different from cry-it-out sleep training
• The role of support networks, emotional development, and cognition in how kids cope
• Two critical signs that reveal if your child is actually okay
• When to worry: What ongoing distress might really mean
• Practical strategies: routines, comfort items, quick goodbyes, and positive pick-up rituals

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Separation hurts—but if your child settles quickly, connects with others, and greets you with joy at the end of the day, you can breathe easier. They’re okay.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Little People, Big Feelings [The Summit]
• The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn – a beautiful story for easing separation anxiety

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Stick to routine – predictability builds security.
2. Use comfort anchors – a hand-kiss, fabric scrap, or pocket token.
3. Keep drop-offs short – no lingering, quick and confident goodbye.
4. Plan pick-up rituals – a special “after care” routine your child can look forward to.
5. Check in with carers – ask how quickly your child settles and how they engage during the day.