Dr Justin Coulson's Happy FamiliesDr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Stop Letting Your Ego Ruin Your Parenting [with Dr Shefali Tsabary]

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You’re not reacting to your child. You’re reacting to your ego.

In this powerful conversation, I sit down with world-renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary to unpack the real reason parenting feels so triggering — especially with teens.

If you’ve ever taken your child’s mood personally… spiralled into guilt… or wondered why you “know better” but still lose it — this episode will hit home.

Dr. Shefali shares the truth about conscious parenting, present-moment awareness, boundaries that actually work, and the dangerous misunderstanding of “gentle parenting.”

This one might just change how you show up tomorrow.

KEY POINTS

  • Why most parenting stress comes from not being present
  • The real definition of ego (and how it hijacks your reactions)
  • The subtle difference between validating feelings and condoning behaviour
  • How to respond to teen attitude without escalating
  • The two-step boundary framework that actually works
  • When you need stronger limits — and when you need deeper connection
  • Why saying “I don’t know what to do right now” is incredibly powerful

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“The answer is found in the honesty of the present moment.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

  1. Pause before reacting. Ask: Is this about my child… or my ego?
  2. Reflect instead of correct. Calmly describe what you see without judgement.
  3. Separate behaviour from identity. Don’t validate harmful behaviour in the name of validation.
  4. Use the two-step boundary rule:
    • Connect first (while regulated).
    • If needed, architect the boundary yourself.
  5. Say the honest thing. “I don’t know how to respond right now” builds connection, not weakness.
 
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