Topics discussed in today's episode:
The Explosive Child, by Dr Ross Greene an associate clinical professor at Harvard Medical School
Kids do well if they can
Flexibility & adaptability
Problem solving
High emotions, low intelligence
Lagging skills research
Motivation vs ability
How to work with intensely rigid children
Problem solving
Explore, Explain, Empower

Get in touch with your questions and feedback to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au

Find out more and register for the Raising Resilient Kids Summit.

Topics discussed in today's episode:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.booktopia.com.au/the-explosive-child-sixth-edition-ross-w-greene/book/9780063092464.html">The Explosive Child, by Dr Ross Greene</a> an associate clinical professor at Harvard Medical School</li>
<li>Kids do well if they can</li>
<li>Flexibility &amp; adaptability</li>
<li>Problem solving</li>
<li>High emotions, low intelligence</li>
<li>Lagging skills research</li>
<li>Motivation vs ability</li>
<li>How to work with intensely rigid children</li>
<li>Problem solving</li>
<li>Explore, Explain, Empower</li>
</ul>
Get in touch with your questions and feedback to <a href="mailto:podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au">podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au</a>
Find out more and register for the <a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/the-raising-resilient-kids-summit">Raising Resilient Kids Summit</a>.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#721 Defusing Explosive Children with Dr Ross Greene

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/7d31f05b-fb92-4b98-8667-afc30042300b/transcript

You’re not reacting to your child. You’re reacting to your ego.

In this powerful conversation, I sit down with world-renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary to unpack the real reason parenting feels so triggering — especially with teens.

If you’ve ever taken your child’s mood personally… spiralled into guilt… or wondered why you “know better” but still lose it — this episode will hit home.

Dr. Shefali shares the truth about conscious parenting, present-moment awareness, boundaries that actually work, and the dangerous misunderstanding of “gentle parenting.”

This one might just change how you show up tomorrow.

KEY POINTS
Why most parenting stress comes from not being present
The real definition of ego (and how it hijacks your reactions)
The subtle difference between validating feelings and condoning behaviour
How to respond to teen attitude without escalating
The two-step boundary framework that actually works
When you need stronger limits — and when you need deeper connection
Why saying “I don’t know what to do right now” is incredibly powerful

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“The answer is found in the honesty of the present moment.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Dr. Shefali’s Australian tour – Melbourne (March 11) & Sydney (March 12)
More from Dr. Shefali at: events.drshefali.com/australia

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Pause before reacting. Ask: Is this about my child… or my ego?
Reflect instead of correct. Calmly describe what you see without judgement.
Separate behaviour from identity. Don’t validate harmful behaviour in the name of validation.
Use the two-step boundary rule:

Connect first (while regulated).
If needed, architect the boundary yourself.
Say the honest thing. “I don’t know how to respond right now” builds connection, not weakness.

You&rsquo;re not reacting to your child. You&rsquo;re reacting to your ego.
In this powerful conversation, I sit down with world-renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary to unpack the real reason parenting feels so triggering &mdash; especially with teens.
If you&rsquo;ve ever taken your child&rsquo;s mood personally&hellip; spiralled into guilt&hellip; or wondered why you &ldquo;know better&rdquo; but still lose it &mdash; this episode will hit home.
Dr. Shefali shares the truth about conscious parenting, present-moment awareness, boundaries that actually work, and the dangerous misunderstanding of &ldquo;gentle parenting.&rdquo;
This one might just change how you show up tomorrow.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li>Why most parenting stress comes from not being present</li>
<li>The real definition of ego (and how it hijacks your reactions)</li>
<li>The subtle difference between validating feelings and condoning behaviour</li>
<li>How to respond to teen attitude without escalating</li>
<li>The two-step boundary framework that actually works</li>
<li>When you need stronger limits &mdash; and when you need deeper connection</li>
<li>Why saying &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know what to do right now&rdquo; is incredibly powerful</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;The answer is found in the honesty of the present moment.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li>Dr. Shefali&rsquo;s Australian tour &ndash; Melbourne (March 11) &amp; Sydney (March 12)</li>
<li>More from Dr. Shefali at: <a href="events.drshefali.com/australia">events.drshefali.com/australia</a></li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li>Pause before reacting. Ask: Is this about my child&hellip; or my ego?</li>
<li>Reflect instead of correct. Calmly describe what you see without judgement.</li>
<li>Separate behaviour from identity. Don&rsquo;t validate harmful behaviour in the name of validation.</li>
<li>Use the two-step boundary rule:
<ul>
<li>Connect first (while regulated).</li>
<li>If needed, architect the boundary yourself.</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Say the honest thing. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know how to respond right now&rdquo; builds connection, not weakness.</li>
</ol>

Stop Letting Your Ego Ruin Your Parenting [with Dr Shefali Tsabary]

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/acb49425-144d-4ea9-bf3d-b3f301792698/transcript

He’s perfect at school. Polite. Award-winning. Well behaved.

Then he comes home… and explodes.

If your 7–8-year-old is melting down over TV, pushing boundaries, or even getting physical when you say no — this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath the surface.

We unpack the hidden developmental shifts happening in boys around this age, why “just turn it off” can feel impossible for them, and practical strategies to reduce the blow-ups — without constant battles.

If you’re exhausted, confused, or questioning yourself… this one’s for you.

KEY POINTS
Why boys around 7–8 experience a surge in emotional intensity (adrenarche)
The surprising reason “good at school” can mean explosions at home
Why turning off TV feels bigger than it looks
How to build emotional regulation before age 10
A powerful way to teach healthy masculinity early
Practical tools: transitions, routines, signals, and collaborative problem-solving

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“A strong, healthy man doesn’t use his strength to dominate. He uses it to help the people around him feel safer and stronger.”

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Pre-plan transitions before TV ends — decide together what happens next.
Use a neutral signal (timer, lights, countdown) to reduce confrontation.
Have calm conversations later, not in the heat of the moment.
Teach emotional strength explicitly — especially for boys.
Stay consistent. Regulation takes repetition, not one perfect talk.

He&rsquo;s perfect at school. Polite. Award-winning. Well behaved.
Then he comes home&hellip; and explodes.
If your 7&ndash;8-year-old is melting down over TV, pushing boundaries, or even getting physical when you say no &mdash; this episode will help you understand what&rsquo;s really going on beneath the surface.
We unpack the hidden developmental shifts happening in boys around this age, why &ldquo;just turn it off&rdquo; can feel impossible for them, and practical strategies to reduce the blow-ups &mdash; without constant battles.
If you&rsquo;re exhausted, confused, or questioning yourself&hellip; this one&rsquo;s for you.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why boys around 7&ndash;8 experience a surge in emotional intensity (adrenarche)</li>
<li aria-level="1">The surprising reason &ldquo;good at school&rdquo; can mean explosions at home</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why turning off TV feels bigger than it looks</li>
<li aria-level="1">How to build emotional regulation before age 10</li>
<li aria-level="1">A powerful way to teach healthy masculinity early</li>
<li aria-level="1">Practical tools: transitions, routines, signals, and collaborative problem-solving</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;A strong, healthy man doesn&rsquo;t use his strength to dominate. He uses it to help the people around him feel safer and stronger.&rdquo;
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Pre-plan transitions before TV ends &mdash; decide together what happens next.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Use a neutral signal (timer, lights, countdown) to reduce confrontation.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Have calm conversations later, not in the heat of the moment.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Teach emotional strength explicitly &mdash; especially for boys.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Stay consistent. Regulation takes repetition, not one perfect talk.</li>
</ol>

Q&A: My Eight-Year-Old Turns Aggressive and I Don’t Know Why

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/2504b538-6ab9-481a-97ca-b3f30178f8aa/transcript

You are pouring yourself out every single day. But into whose cup?

In this powerful conversation inspired by Derek Thompson, Justin and Kylie explore a simple metaphor that will stop you mid-scroll: every morning you wake with a full jug of water. By night, it’s empty. The only question that matters is where it went.

Work. News. Regret. Netflix. Anxiety. Group chats. Your kids. Your marriage.

Attention never lies. It reveals what we truly value.

If you’ve been feeling depleted, resentful, stretched thin — this episode will gently realign you with what actually matters.

Because tomorrow morning?
The jug refills.

KEY POINTS
The “Cup Game” metaphor and why you’re playing it whether you realise it or not
Why attention is your most honest measure of values
The hidden cost of pouring into cups that don’t matter
Why good things can still drain you
A simple end-of-day question that changes everything
How to reset — even if you’ve been “losing” the game for years

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Attention never lies. It reveals what we truly value.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Derek Thompson Substack article: Whose Cup Are You Filling?
Stephen Covey – “The things that matter most should never be at the mercy of the things that matter least.”

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
At the end of today, ask: Whose cup did I fill?
Notice one cup that received too much water.
Choose one relationship that gets first pour tomorrow.
When you feel depleted at 4pm, take one small intentional step toward connection.
Remember: the jug refills in the morning.

You are pouring yourself out every single day. But into whose cup?
In this powerful conversation inspired by Derek Thompson, Justin and Kylie explore a simple metaphor that will stop you mid-scroll: every morning you wake with a full jug of water. By night, it&rsquo;s empty. The only question that matters is where it went.
Work. News. Regret. Netflix. Anxiety. Group chats. Your kids. Your marriage.
Attention never lies. It reveals what we truly value.
If you&rsquo;ve been feeling depleted, resentful, stretched thin &mdash; this episode will gently realign you with what actually matters.
Because tomorrow morning? The jug refills.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">The &ldquo;Cup Game&rdquo; metaphor and why you&rsquo;re playing it whether you realise it or not</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why attention is your most honest measure of values</li>
<li aria-level="1">The hidden cost of pouring into cups that don&rsquo;t matter</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why good things can still drain you</li>
<li aria-level="1">A simple end-of-day question that changes everything</li>
<li aria-level="1">How to reset &mdash; even if you&rsquo;ve been &ldquo;losing&rdquo; the game for years</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Attention never lies. It reveals what we truly value.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Derek Thompson Substack article: Whose Cup Are You Filling?</li>
<li aria-level="1">Stephen Covey &ndash; &ldquo;The things that matter most should never be at the mercy of the things that matter least.&rdquo;</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">At the end of today, ask: Whose cup did I fill?</li>
<li aria-level="1">Notice one cup that received too much water.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Choose one relationship that gets first pour tomorrow.</li>
<li aria-level="1">When you feel depleted at 4pm, take one small intentional step toward connection.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Remember: the jug refills in the morning.</li>
</ol>

Whose Cup Are You Filling?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/aba5d063-8501-400d-9ca8-b3f30178d342/transcript

#721 Defusing Explosive Children with Dr Ross Greene

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