Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt BraunohlerWhoopie in Choo Choo Town with Mamrie Hart
Mamrie Hart is back on Bananas! She talks to Kurt and Scotty about a fire that burned down a brand new fire station in Germany, an amorous couple blamed for flooding train station and a paraglider spots a dog on top of a pyramid!
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Scottie, you know what, do you have one for me?
This time? I can do one. You sound like you have a little tickle in your throat. Are you battling an illness?
It's it's just in my throat and my nose. It is is nothing else. I feel absolutely fine, other than exhausted when my children speak.
Well, then let's get into it. Here's one blazing fire burns down a brand new fire station in Germany that didn't have fire alarms.
Oh man, well, it's time to light this show on fire with a very special episode of Bananas. Still understand?
Would you.
Mind your sillion pieces?
Would you?
Guys, guys, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas. I'm sitting across from screenwriter extraordinary and excellent human being Scottie Landis.
Oh good, I thought you were going to say our guest. And I'm sitting across from the one and only the big Banana comedy legend in his own time, Kurt Kurtie B. Brown Oler, what's up, man?
Nothing, I just got this weird voice thing going on and not going around.
I'm ready to do it. Brown.
Let's bring our guests right on, because I'm so excited she's here.
Why wait.
Uh. She's an actor, she's a writer, she's a podcaster, she's a YouTuber. She she has multiple movies, she has co written and co produced. She has she's coming out with her third book, best author book, best selling author. All I think about is food. Please, welcome to the show, Memory Heart.
Hi guys, welcome.
Oh I'm so happy to be a repeat offender on bananas and.
You both have wilderness backdrops. I feel a little left out, but you it looks good. It almost looks like Memory's goes into Kurt. It's like a deer landscape into a Pacific Northwest Kurt.
I've got the same thing going on right now. Yeah, tickle the tickle, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I thought you meant the ears. So for those who don't see that, Mamory has a deer on the wallpaper behind her and her head is perfectly placed so that she just has deer ears. You know, I love a visual gag for an audio podcast. It really works well.
I know, well, Memory, we are our guests. You know, a lot of times it's friends, and then a lot of times we have people that are recommended to us, where our listeners are like, you got to have these people on. And we've had so many people say in the dms to have you on, and I've said one, she's been on, two, Okay, we'll have her back. Well that's an easy We'll get her right back.
The amount of people that send me dms on Instagram of bananas posts to talk about the stories you guys are talking about, and I have to act and I have to control myself. We had a Wienermobile crossover. We did vibe for a bit. You know, I'm a huge I'm a big Wienermobile stand but yeah, I get a lot of dms of you guys.
So, but the crossover is to.
Like ride in the Wienermobile, like you got to the next.
Level, right what I Okay, I was in We're somewhere very random, like Middle America, and I saw the Wienermobile was parked at the same Marriott Nice if it was a good weekend, let's be honest, it was a home with sweets. And so I left a note on the windshield that said, all I want to do is write the Winermobile, here's my number, Please get in touch with me. And about a week later, I get a text from one of the drivers and we have like an ongoing convo for about two months trying to line up when the Wienermobile near me it was in. It was in Brentwood. Drove out amazing, got to ride in the Wienermobile. But even better than that, when we rolled into the parking lot, the Planner's Peanut Mobile was there.
It was two four No, it's the best day of my life.
Oh my god, Oh god.
Isn't it the same company that makes the Plantermobile that makes the Wienermobile? Did they look similar from the inside? Did you get to see the inside?
We got the full tour. It was fantastic.
Oh my god.
I don't know if it's the same person that makes the mobiles so much as maybe Planters owns Oscar Meyer.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. There's a duck boot truck too. There's a I think it's for ll Bean or something, but there's a truck that looks like a duck boot. And we got to get all these guys together. Also, we need a Bananamobile so bad.
They're also Bananamobile I think in San Diego.
Yes, yes, the convertible one that's sort of like you sit like four or five in a row.
It's a Bob's led.
No chance. If it's a head on collision, just everybody hits the guy in front of him his head. Knockdock kno, knockdock dock.
It just splits up.
What we should organize a road race or a track race between a Planter's peanut, the Wiener mobile and the duck shoe, I mean duck boot like that. I think companies would be into that, right, it's just free advertising, right.
Yeah, I just I want them to be piloted by drift car racers.
Okay, so not these.
It's always the fresh out of college.
Yes, A lot of people also DM me being like they're hiring and I'm like, I'm forty one, me too.
This is a this is what is it like a leap year?
Yeah?
What is it? What is the year after college? Or would people take off?
Oh yeah, what is that called? I know what you're talking about.
I know what you're talking about. Yeah yeah, yeah, I don't remember.
Yeah, we don't do it in the States. It's like get to work, get out and get to work.
But yeah, there we go.
Yeah yeah yeah, maybe who knows.
We didn't get any we.
Didn't get it. No, no, we did not. I got to the gap and started fulling jeans. I was working how is your gap year?
Mine is when I lost my retainer and it came back and.
You kept it.
Mine was working at the hot dog stand at the Delaware Water Gap.
Mobile.
Yeah, I'm ready. We should do that. That's a great idea. But also maybe I don't know, we should get a smart car. We should get a very dumb, cheap small car and just wrap it and make it look so Banana's podcast that if you see it around La we have something dumb that we give you.
Yeah, I think I think you can. Also if someone there's like those wrap things right where it's like someone will get a car, a brand new car, and then it like we pay for a part of the car, but they have to always be wrapped into bananas stuff better. I mean that's kind of worth it as well.
Deal right straight.
Up, go to your red Bull roots, Scottie. Just have like a beautiful mounted banana on top.
Like a bike.
Well, we do have one. We had one built for Bananas Fest and it's if I figured out how to weather proof it, that's we could do that. We could have an actual banana on the back. It's a banana and a cast yeah, it's a broken banana. Broke banana. So yeah, we are all right, let's get into this one. This was sentenced by Brian. I think it's STI or STI A so sorry s t I E.
H okay on them die.
That's exactly right.
Yeah, you just say it like that. Blazing fire burns down brand new fire station Germany that did not have fire alarms. This was in everywhere, but I got it from that swing in Associated Press staff. Thank you AP Berlin. Brand new fire station in Germany, which was destroyed completely in a fire, causing millions of euros and damage and destroyed equipment, did not have a fire alarm system. Local media reported on Thursday. The fire broke out early Wednesday morning at the Stop Tallendorf fire station in Hesse and stot Tonendorff. You have to yell it like you're agree, I know, and destroyed, among other things, all the equipment, the equipment hall and a dozen emergency vehicles. Whoa emergency. I think it was like a massive fire start place, no German.
I'm sorry, I'm stunned. This is the first I've heard of this story.
It's caught off the press. Brian's gets up at five am. It just looks on. German news agency DPA reported that initial estimates put the damage between twenty million and twenty four million euros. No one was injured, thankfully. Local officials told DPA that no fire alarm system had been installed in the building because experts had considered it unnecessary. What why They considered it's crazy, that's so great, that's a.
Real Titanic moment for them.
Much to the astonishment of many observers. Now the station has burned down. Yes, that is true. That is good writing by the AP. The fire broke out on an emergency vehicle belonging to the fire department, which contained lithium ion batteries to an external power connection. There's an electric car.
Fire extra battery. Oh think so I was thinking of the phone charger.
Yeah, that's why exactly. The station opened less than a year ago. And I believe that what has happened will make people think and act about improving fire protection requirements at stations, said Norbert Fisher, head of the State good Old Norbert So, he's head of State Fire Brigade Association in the State of I think it's hessy, I think it's assy. It could be he precisely because there's a lot of technology and fire stations and batteries are being charged, it would make sense to equip them with fire alarm sister systems, Fisher said, noting.
It was to treat them like every other building that we personally have insisted that every other building be treated as I know.
I can't steam a broccole florette without my fire alarm building.
I know, what's your what's your preferred method of making it stop?
Uh?
Oh, I mean I do. I got a I got a record, yeah, you know, and I and I took one of these.
However, I had a I I set myself on fire a little bit last week, really in a robe while I was like to put on the tea Kettel and then all of a sudden, I was like a Universal Studios and I like whipped it off and jumped on it. But I did take down the smoke alarm because it wouldn't stop. And now from this it's going back.
Up to you.
Yeah, look at that, everybody put your smoke alarms back up. I had taken I'm for right after my kids were born.
Uh.
We had bought our house and it was like just a few years old. When we bought it, and so they had all I was like, oh, all these smoke detectors are.
Brand new, brand new.
We like moved in and then almost weekly there's like six or seven because they're like in every room. Almost weekly one would just start going off at midnight. And it would always be midnight after we had just gotten like a child down for the third time that night, and it would start going off and it was insane, and it was every single one. So for about a year and a half it was like every other week one would start doing it and then you have to get the ladder out, go up, go take it down, fix it, break it.
You know all that high ceilings. Yeah, I got a pretty good detail. I got a pretty nice house.
Every room is a fifty foot ceiling. Had you got my cherry picker out, it was a high.
Lie court that they turned into very nice four bedroom home. So yeah, I have that too. I have that minor wired hardwired and if one goes off, they all go off. And so I looked it up and it sent me to this like reddit link and the red link was like, yeah, if you have this company, they go off at like one am. Sometimes all of them go off and there's I replace things. No, I replaced them all.
So I just replaced If they start going off at like midnight or one am, it's not the battery because minor hardwired as well. So I just replaced them, and now it no longer happens.
I had about a couple of months ago. It was a little scary, my carbon monoxide.
Oh yeah, scary, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
And it was a fluke.
But like there was a couple days you know, I read the symptoms and it was like you will start hallucinating, and so like everything, I.
Was like self diagnosing. Yeah, every just like that happened, right.
It's so scary.
There was an owl outs out our window while we were sleeping, right, just a white owl staring in the window the whole time. That's yeah, they think that's what alien abductions. They think a lot of alien visitations.
Side, So we have one that we now travel with.
Isn't that crazy?
And then you just put it on in the hotel room because I was we were going going to Mexico, and like a week before we were going to Mexico and Cabo, these two people just died in their hotel room because of carbon monoxide poisoning because the the oven in the kitchen down below wasn't properly vented and it was just coming into their room and they just went to sleep and then they just died.
And I was just like, oh my god.
I have a weird amount of amount of information about this story. Oh wow, okay, because I was supposed to shoot a movie there, okay, and then that happened and we were like, like we had to deal with the hotel and then.
That happened, like Pacific Hotel.
Big hotel, I had, yes, and then that happened. But follow up is that the families never asked for an autopsy, so they think it actually might have been drug related, and the hotel like, if that happened to a family member mine, I'd see the shit out of them.
Oh you know. Yeah, so anyway.
I think I I think I actually talked to your wife about that, Oh my god, at that hotel.
But yes, I travel with one too, so weird. Don't take chance.
What a weird thing that you have to travel with? Yeah, but you know, also makes you look cool, makes you look like you're a worldly person. You're like, I know, what can happen to me at any given I travel with a head lamp in my suitcase. I just never take it out. Guys start doing it. I can't tell you.
I never take it off.
It's never taken it off. Yeah, in my plane, Like what are you drinking over there? Turn it off? Stop it done in the bathroom.
Yet, my question is in Germany, is it like in America where there's always a couple of guys sleeping at the station or are they so efficient that they just like get up and go when the alarm sounds?
Great question, but like because like who.
Sniffed it out? It feels like for it to bring down a firehouse of that side, it was like huge before anyone noticed. So I don't think the guys were upstairs making chili, you know, which is always how I picture firefighters.
They're always making chili. Do German firefighters enjoy their wives and families? That's the real question, because it feels like the American guys are just like gotta go hang with the guys doing three nights in a row. And yeah, they're just working out, eating sausage and peppers and onions, avoiding their father responsibilities.
Right in the volunteer position in Germany, Yeah, who knows.
I have to call now?
Well, I guess yeah.
I don't know if I told this one Kerr and I don't think I did. But like years ago, I was probably when I was about twenty or twenty one, I had a friend. She was like, hey, do you know how to use like a camera, like a real camera thirty five millimeter? And I was like, yeah, I do. She goes, okay, great, could you come over this weekend? My friend and I were going to do like a funny calendar photo shoot all around the town and we need somebody take photos. I was like, sure, no problem, Okay. So what I didn't know it was two women and they were a little bit older than me. And what I didn't know is they had like been on falling out. They had been like losing their friendship. They were like really close when they were kids and like kind of closes in high school and then in college had grown apart and this sort of was their last like let's do something together.
It's a photo shoot, Okay, all right, interesting choice.
Let's make a calendar, wouldn't that be fun?
A calendar that year to show how much we're not planning to hang out for This.
Is it just for them. It's just for them. Calendar, just for the two of them.
Yeah, I don't think they even thought that far in advance, but I think they were going to send it to friends and family. Except when I got there, they both were wearing bikinis. They brought multiple sets of bikinis and then long jackets so they had like chrench coat. And so the first one was along a barbed wire fence where there were cows in the background, so they were wearing cowboy boots and bikinis and cowboy hats. And I took photos and it was fine, and we kind of went around and they're like, what else would be good? And they're like, oh, there's like a tcby dates it a little bit and went there and then they bought frozen yogurt and laughed in different bikinis and different and so this happened all day. And then one of them had the grand idea to go down a fire pole to go to a fire department. And wouldn't it be fun if we went down the fire pole, or maybe we both hang with our legs and arms wrapped around the same pole. So we drive up to a fire department and the three of us will walk in and they're wrapped up, but they have bikinis on. And the firemen were totally happy to see two women walk in, less happy to see white boy at number four. Every white man they've ever seen in their life walk in behind them holding a camera, picked up their bigger spoonli and so we were like, hey, guys, can we Is it okay if they go down your fire pole to take photos? And they're like, we took the pole out. We have a slide, so now we have a slide.
Wow.
So they were like, you can go down the slide.
It's like, if you ever thought that the pole was just for efficiency, this seals the deal. It's not for efficiency, it's for fun.
If it's to have a little bit.
Of fun in an emergence, so.
How much time it's saving?
No, so yes, not at all. Also, just hang out on the first floor. You'll be right there.
Yeah, where are these ranch style? Come on?
So one of the firemen's go sure, he takes the two women up, and he goes down and shows them what they have to do. You know, you have to go feed first, like there were some rules to the things. You don't bash your head and then it's like and then land on your feet at the bottom. And I was like, okay, and may Mari, you're a woman and you've worn women's swimsuits before. I can imagine going down a metal slide basically in bear skin and bare ass. Not the speediest mode of transportation on plow Earth.
Just a squeak fest.
Yeah, scoolbe And that's what started to happen. So as four or five firemen stood downstairs with me and I had the camera, they both tried to come down the slide and just squeaked and stopped and got mad at each other and started arguing, and the breakup was already you know, they had saved it up to that point. And then the true colors come through. Two women in bikinis. One of them like wanted to wear a fireman's helmet, but it was like too cumbersome and too big for head. So she's just holding a fireman's helmet, just squeak inching down a slide with me snapping photos the whole way. And so they were like, well, maybe we can put you two on like towels or like we have t shirts, we have merged and so then they started going down one time, very fast, sitting on things. But then it just looked like they were sitting on yeah, of course dark. So what I don't wowstand is why the need for the action of the slide. They could just position themselves on the slide like they were slide. It's a still photograph we did. That's what we ended up capturing. But by the time we ended up capturing it, they were no longer speaking to each other, and the firemen had lost interest. Firemen had lost interest in bikinid women because of the fighting and just the pain of just.
Yeah, skirt skirts and you know, there was the new fireman that's like, well, now I've gotta wipe the slide.
It's exactly right they got. They sit on a swift or wet and just go down at ten times, right next to each other.
But yeah, and never came out a copy of this.
You never made it. They never made it. They never made that. It was the breaking point of their friendship, that that slide just squeaking their way down. It calls this fight and then they were like, you're not doing it right and then be like curl back more. And so somewhere there is film, a lot of film of these two fighting and losing their friendship in bikinis on a strange firehouse slide. But no, I never got it, and I'm sure neither one of them listened to the podcast. It's been so so long.
But well, I think healing from that trauma would be recreating that photo shoot with Kurts.
Yes, I feel like the next charity move.
I would love to do that.
Oh yeah, the two of us just doing that in bikinis at like a.
Yeah and leather trenches. We could dress like where you know, we don't really get snow in La Apparently it happens every ten years, but I've never seen it. But we could just dress up and go around to the southern California firehouses in full tobogganwear and just do a photo shoot with without fireman, just unhunky white podcasters going down in tobogganwear.
Unhunks, cold honks. That reminds me of this thing is so back in the day, same age, same age, maybe twenty two, twenty three, twenty four. I used to do this thing called Changuin in New York City, So Who's half chicken half penguin? And and it was a whole thing, but the evolution of Chegwin. There was Chegwin. Then there was Chunk half chicken, half skunk, and these were like giant, you know, costumes that we would get in and then battle in the street.
Then there was Chicksen, who shot fireworks.
Out his fingers, set up, you know, and I cheng went. Of course it was it two thousand and seven in Brooklyn.
Of course, of course you did. And then there was Chubb, who's half chicken af dove, and then there was Chobb. Chabio was the final, the final one. But Chabio wasn't a costume that you would get into. Chabio was like a five foot tall puppet that we could control with like two and they were all made by my friend Matt, and then we would produce like stuff around them. And so Chabio loved to drive around in his BMW, a convertible red BMW convertible, and so Matt also built a red BMW convertible that he would go in, and then we like rigged up a green skiing and like Chabio would drive around. I can I think I still have the video so I can post the video. But Chabio was, you know, half chicken, half Fabio and so he he had the long hair but a full chicken body. So we had Chabio, Fabio face, Fabio hair, total chicken body.
Was this before or after Fabio was hitting the face by the bird, by the goose the coaster?
It was before Kurt Yeah, this was like two thousand and three, yeah, yeah, right, yeah. And so we did this video as a music video, and obviously it's a music video. Chabio he has you know, he's a lover, and so we wanted to him in one section of the music video to have like ladies with him with like champagne, and they're like, you know, like just all over, like they just love Chabio.
And so.
I asked, you know, just people I knew to like, would you please come and dress in a bikini and be like fawning over Chabio. And a bunch of people we asked were like dancers and totally comfortable, totally comfortable in their body, not a problem, didn't feel weird. But then also I knew just like comedy people. So a few were comedy women who were just kind of like getting started in their career, some who are now some of the famous, most famous women in comedy that everyone knows I will not use their name, and and and they were distinctly uncomfortable with the idea of being in a bikini doing this. And I just realized in that moment of like, oh, this is why you don't why I don't want.
To do things like this.
This is like it all of a sudden feels like the male gaze thing felt very much even though we were kind of making fun of it with this chicken and this chabbio, you still had to put those actual human beings through those paces to get the footage of making fun of this idea of like a dumb music video. And I was just like, oh, and this is why I don't want.
To do.
Like this type of parody of this, because you still have to have the people do it, you.
Know what I mean.
I mean when I first moved to New York and was getting headshots and it was like, let me find someone who will do it for corety dollars on Craigslist.
I couldn't believe how the legend of.
If you go get photographs in New York, like they are going to try to make you get in a biki.
Oh my god.
If I felt like the one episode of Say by the Bell Kellys, because literally I'm getting head shots. I'm like a little like pale, chubby, twenty two year old actress redhead, and he's like.
These look great.
Would you like to do some bikini shots? And I was like, I would rather die.
I mean like.
Immediately, immediately, we should do some bikini shots. I was like, what part of headshot? Like I'm going for off off off Broadway? Yeah, what are we doing here?
Yeah?
Lots of is that true?
But also that vibe, that New York photographer vibe that is often working with actors. We would do like some photo shoots where they'd be like, let's put some kind of music you want to listen to?
Would like put some music on.
He's like hey, He's like, you guys want to have a couple of drinks, and then like you would be doing it, and then you'd have a couple of drinks and then like you're like, you know, in your mid twenties, and I can just see how easily it just and the vibe from those specific male photographers.
Was so gross.
It was always so so gross, it was it yeah.
Yeah, And then one time I went on an audition, Now, no bikinis were had. But I remember it was for like a student film and it was like three guys and looking back at they were like probably twenty one years old, yo, And it was like it was like supposed to be at like a club, like a dance party or something. And I remember they were like, did I did the audition? And they were like, well, we need to see how you dance. And I was like, oh, I mean I can dance. I was like, I have a history of dance. They were like, I know, we just need to like see it. And I was like, okay, do you.
Have music right and they were like no. So I was like, can you give me a beat? And so these three guys.
These three nerdy filmsters, which just gave a beat and I danced. To this day, I think it was a hidden camera show that like they never like aired on at NYU's channel or something, because I'm oh, there was no camera at the audition they were heading.
So it was no good.
Yeah, we could flap our hands while you dance and we stare at you. This is good. Welcome to entertainment. It's a true minefield the entire time. It really is.
And then later I had to do a TV show where I got fully nude, and the people didn't give me the proper undergarments for my material. They're supposed to have like a thing where you stuff everything in and it like gets sealed at the top essentially, And they were like, well we have this, and I was like what. Like They're like, you can make this work, and I was just like can I though? And like while I was doing the scene, it just fell off, which made the people in the scene laugh even harder, you know, but still it was I didn't feel nice after. I did not feel nice after. It was not like a great feeling of like, well I did some really great comedy work there, you know. It wasn't even though it's a funny scene.
I mean, a room full of people laughing at your dick, doesn't. I mean, it feels like a waking nightmare.
Yeah, if you ask me. Some people really enjoy it. Some people that's their number one thing. But that's a different type of person.
Yeah, that's someone's I know many of people were like that's their only punchline.
You know me too, Well, that's why Kurt, we only hire hunks now. Like every time I would have a TV pilot anytime we needed something that would make people like be a little uncomfortable outside, we would just hire bodybuilders and speedos, and people seem delighted. If you see a bodybuilder and a speedo, do anything, just cross the street reading a magazine. You're laughing. Yeah.
Also, I have yet to meet We also have met a lot of them. I yet to meet a bodybuilder who doesn't fucking love it.
Yeah, I love it.
I'm like, thank you so much for doing this. He's like, thank me, thank you.
He's just in there with this gold gym.
Like chefs, have you hired any female bodybuilders?
We have not, No, would you if they requested it? Maybe we just try to not be the dudes promoting lurking creeps. Yeah yeah, But we did a field piece for this show with Whitney Cummings way back in the day and they sent the comics Sarah Tiana, who's very funny, to a bodybuilding expo down at the LA Convention Center and that was incredible. All the footage was amazing, and it was like Sarah asking people while they're getting whatever that type of bronze is before that like hyper dark shoe polish bronze, and we're just standing there while somebody's putting that on a woman. She's like working on her poses and I'm just producing off camera. And it was like, this is not normal to me. This feels like an alien experience. And I'm standing here observing it. It's like, Jane Goodall, I'm just like, what is this? So we if one of those ladies were like, I would love to bench press you guys for the whole show, and the bench press us. God, I want to be.
Thinking about I want her emasculating you guys.
Yes, we're good. We're not gonna lear We're just gonna have her, you know.
Yeah, throw me onto a bed and laughing and lock the door and walk out. That's fine with.
Us, Okay, cool, I'm down with that.
I'll have my head lamp on, Kurt'll have his carbon monoxide detector. It'll be a real weird live show. All right.
I got one for you folks. This is in the Guardian, so you know it's real.
That's real.
It is written by Benita Kolovos, which is a.
Great name, really good. The best in the.
Amorous couple blamed for causing flooding that shut down on to Melbourne CBD. Train stations. This is the exact opposite of the story we just are. This was sent in by Cheyenne. Thank you, Cheyenne, Thank you. You can always send us you know your news stories at our instagram The Bananas Podcasting dm us there. You can email us The Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.
Here it is.
An amorous couple in a stairwell has been blamed for causing a flood in Melbourne's City rail Loop last week, which forced the evacuation of two stations and significant delays for people traveling home from an Olivia Rodrigo concert.
God damn it.
Melbourne Central and Flagstaff stations had to be evacuated late on Thursday evening, causing delays which while it was initially believed the incident was an active vandalism that Victorian Transport Infrastructure Minister Danny Pearson said a review of CCTV by Metro Trains had proved otherwise. Okay, quote, it would appear that an amorous couple in a stairwell dislodged a sprinkler.
Damn. A lot of questions about that and one big answer.
There was extensive flooding. Metro would be investigating these matters further quote, perhaps a stairwell may not be an appropriate place to find yourself in after dinner.
That's what he said. Eh.
Police on Tuesday released images images of a man and a woman who said may be able to assist with their investigation.
May be able to assist.
The duo gained access to a stairwell connecting platforms okay at Melbourne's Central Station about ten forty pm and damage to water pipe and fire sprinkler.
Right, okay, I.
Want to see the photos of them. They're the photos are not here.
Well. Two things.
One, if they had access to a stairwell, it sounds like it was a semi private situation, but it wasn't like you have to have access to it. Also, this is the most I've ever heard the word amorus.
Yes, right, I never used it.
Yeah, this is this is just some a learning story, Yeah right, I would.
I hope there's an Australian newspaper out there that says like boinking doinks flood chu or something?
There is there is uh.
That is I mean, I'm trying to imagine the situation. I'm assuming it was like hanging, hanging, like the woman was holding on to it and hanging on it, but the still to dislodge the sprinkler itself. Oh, I guess if you just break the pipe. But no, they say dislodged a sprinkler. I don't know.
Maybe they went Spider Man style. Maybe the guy hung by his ankles nude upside down and they were doing a standing stairwell sixty nine and which is very normal in normal trees sixty nine.
Yeah, he loves he went he has a bat sixty nine where he's hanging by his knees.
Yes, yeah, that's what I'm picturing. Sleeping bat sixteen. And when they mutually climax for the third time, he went so prone that it ripped it off the wall and then it washed him down into the sewer. Wow, tails, oldest time.
A post coital cigarette set off the sprinklers.
I love that.
Has anyone ever smoked a cigarette after whoopee?
Yeah?
In bed?
Not me? No, No, I don't even have cigarettes in my house. I don't think. Maybe I have a pack somewhere.
I mean, I'm sure I did in the brief moment. I was a smoker in college, but like I would have walked outside. I would like to think it's the sitting in bed smoking. That's crazy to me.
Yeah, agreed, I understand that. I think I tried it once and I was like in high school, and I was like, man, I don't know it. This isn't this isn't like the most delightful thing as it's always made it.
See.
It was like, you gotta have it.
This is amazing.
Thumb Seltzer.
Yes, drink water, use the bathroom. Just one big bite of a HOGI and put it back in the fridge. You know cold. I'm going to go take a bite of a cold hogy you want to bite.
You have a post coital scene and one persons smoking, the other person is just holding a foot log sandwich and taking a.
Bite out of it. Leslie Nielsen life. Yeah, there it is. I live my life exactly the way I want. That's pretty good. Should we do some thumbs ups? Oh yeah, baby, I guess I Uh. I'm up next, so I'll tease this into it. Amanda Hill sent this story in. We'll get into it next. Pair of glider spots. Dog on top of the Great Pyramid of Giza. Whoop, whoop, there's a dog running around up there. The video is very funny. Buddy first thumbs ups. I got a thumb up. We all know this person, Emily Foster. Yes, who's our good friend. Lives in the same neighborhood as you guys, everybody's neighbors. Such a blonde child, so our yes, very blonde. Our good buddies Dave and Alexis got their cat stolen. I don't know if you guys saw this. There was like ring camera footage of these two women walked up and stole their cat. It was all over Instagram and they were like, hey, does anybody can we identify these people? And it turns out it was a big misunderstanding where one of the women thought it was her missing cat. Oh that's crazy. But Emily Foster helped figure this out who they were and got the cat back. So the cat is safely returned and everything's good. But thumbs up to Emily for she's allergic to cats, so she still went and got this cat back.
Good for her.
I mean, this is the part where I don't understand.
You see a cat from afar, you go grab the cat. Within five minutes post grabbing the cat, you're not aware that it's not your cat. That's my question, Like it just no behavior differences nothing.
So the person who took it thought it was her cat, or thought it was a different friends missing cat.
I think she thought it was her a cat that had gone missing like months earlier. It was like, oh my god, there it is. Fed it then like wrapped it up in a blanket with another friend and just left with it. So on camera it looks like they cat napped this cat. Yeah.
I mean, I feel like we heard a lot about cat napping back in the days when really cats are so plentiful, anyone really. Of course, it was misunderstanding, like there's if you want a cat, I can get you a cat in thirty minutes.
You know, you don't need to nab nothing. A job I can see, Yeah, but not a calico.
No. That reminds me of There was a story someone sent in that I wasn't gonna do. But it was a guy who was at the dog park let his golden retriever off playing talking with somebody. Then went to go and he called it, called saw his dog, called it over, dog came over, put the leash on, walked him home. It wasn't until he got his dog home and it was like, why is the dog doing that? And then he looked at the collar and he's like, this isn't my dog.
Then walked it back to the dog park.
And the other guy was just waiting there with his dog, and then they had a good laugh. And that guy had to be super high because not, I mean, to not recognize the call.
The collar's got to be different. That's like the first sign.
Oh my gosh, my dog got loose once and we had it on We have it on camera. It's like my little backyard. The door was open, and I thought she was out there sunbathing, went out there, no no beans to be found, and she's already high.
Hard to find cause she's like this big, and.
The door was open, and I was freaking out, you know, immediate sweat, like out in the road like looking for her, calling, freaking out. And then and then I see her and she's just at the side door, just trying to get back in. And so I checked the ring footage and she got out. Was out there for like fifteen minutes, just trying to get back into the front yard. Mail lady came up. She goes and hides behind my car, like escaping was the last thing she.
Wanted to do.
Please God, let me back in there is that.
Is also my dog as well, where it's just like I let her out all the time with the gate open and everything, and the only thing she'll do is if I go back inside, she'll just wait at the door until I open the door and let her back in.
Yes, Scottie, have you had any interesting I don't know how much you've talked about dogs on here.
Oh he's as no, he has so trun out. Yeah, he got huge all of a sudden. Chauncey is a he's very well behaved. He he hasn't made a run for it yet. He did see two horses for the first time, and that he bolted back into the house as fast as any animal in the history of time has ever moved. Dogs are big. Dogs are big out there. But no no escape footage as of yet. But you know, I saw a video. I saw a video like two days ago guys like puts a camera on a GoPro on his dog to see, like, Hey, a day in the life of my dog, and the dog just sits on the back porch and watches the owner eat. He just stares inside the house the entire time. There's no footage, it's just footage back inside the house. God, that's so funny, So maybe I'll try some of that love it. Natalie Dulka is thumbing herself up for putting on a second solo vocal cabaret show in Lakeville, Minnesota. It was called Chronically Single. It was a ninety minute mixed genre cabaret with a three piece band and noally told a bunch of personal stories. She's super proud of herself and all the work she's done in therapy from healing and healing from heartbreaks. She encourages all of an animals to seek therapy if they need it. And you guys have both put on so many shows. It's hard to put on any show and to get anybody to show up. Oh my god, yes, virtually impossible.
Hands down, thumbs up, thumbs.
Well, Stephanie, I have to look up the last name for Stephanie, but she's thumbing herself up for successfully passing her proposal defense, which was the final step in becoming a PhD candidate. Stephanie will be graduating with her PhD in twenty twenty six, so let us know when we do, and will thumbs you up? Then again, I know, real smart man. No, we'll do one more smarty pants. Ashley Yule, which was a great name, is thumbing herself up for quitting her job to pursue a tattooing career and it's going amazing. She also wants to thank her partner Dean for being the best in supporting her decision and her first tattoo. Ashley's first tattoo she did as an apprentice was a banana. Oh yes, thumbs up Ashley Ashley. You'll like you log, are you? Ellie?
First shop should be called You'll love it? Oh my god, You'll never regret it.
To have regret in the title of the tattoos shop before.
I'm not thinking about regret.
Thumbs up. Okay, Amanda Hill, thank you for sending this. And this was on Fox ten. Written by best in the Biz Chris Williams. Great at typing. This guy can really type a story from start to finish. A startling discover was made by paramotorist sure Alex Lang while flying over the Great Pyramid in Giza, the largest of Egypt's one hundred and eighteen pyramids. I didn't know there were one hundred and eighteen. I had no idea.
I thought there were three.
I thought there were three three. It's an educational podcast for a reason. There's one hundred and eighteen apparently. But this is the big one. This is the one we're all picturing, all right, Great notably Taurus, often take paragliding tours over these monuments, as climbing the pyramids is forbidden. To his utter surprise, mister Lang noticed some movement at the apex of the ancient structure. I mean, Chris Williams is going for it in this article more words than necessary. We're here for it. It was a dog chasing birds atop of the premiere without the pyramid, So I think a a dog started chasing birds, had just chased them all the way to the top. They kept flying and he kept climbing. And the video is really funny. The dog is just having a ball up there, doesn't seem concerned, doesn't really know. It wasn't immediately clear how the dog got up there, or if it later got down. I bet it did. The unexpected sighting has left many social media users perplexed, as climbing the Great Pyramid is structurally forbidden due to the preservation and safety concerns. The dog's ascent was unaided and sparked curiosity and amusement online. Of course it did. Now this is the part of all those news stories where we just go to Twitter and TikTok or whatever. One x user wrote, that's his pyramid. Now he conquered it. Hilarious worth reporting. Also, that's the this is so common.
This is so so common in the type of stories that we do where they just go to Twitter and then quote like hand job twenty eight and like like like that's what he said. It's like, who gives a shit what this person said about it? So it was on the site the.
Tiger.
They don't have anything. Yeah, the Great Pyramid of Giza. Then this is the other thing they do. They just wrap it up because they gotta get fifty more words in there. The Great Pyramid of gizare located in Egypt. There we Go is an ancient wonder that continues to captivate the world's imagination. Built around twenty five and eighty to twenty five sixty five BC during the reign of Pharaoh Coufu, this majestic structure stands out as the largest of the three pyramids in Giza. Today, the Great Pyramid is a you know, UNESCO World heritage site protected and preserved through under investorations.
I just wish it continued where it was, just like Egypt is a country in Africa. It is one of the seven continents. The continents are on planet Earth, which is in the Solar system.
You thought there was only three pyramids. I'm gonna list the other one hundred and fifteen.
Yeah, make them up, I mean, dear Lord. So yes, dogs will be dogs, not bad, not too shad, but also having a fun day.
And I looked at a picture of the pyramid, and you know, it is kind of like stairs. It's not a it's not a slick slope. You know, he wasn't reversed going up a slide. Yeah, so I could see how he that'll be the next bikini photo shoot.
Yeah, a pyramid called the fire department. It's that's funny because like, dog on the roof is funny, not funny, dog and.
Roof, Oh my god, speaking of this, so yeah, dog and roof is very funny. Child on a roof not funny. Here's what I was at this trampoline park in Pasadena. Uh and so it's like a trampoline park that then has It was for a birthday party, and so it was for Olive. Olive was six at the time, Gus was there. Gus was four at the time. And uh, there's a big play structure on one side and then trampoline area on the other, So a bunch of trampolines, right, But the play structure was like that classic kind of imagine that the McDonald's play structure times a thousand. Okay, it went up four stories all right. It probably was like, you know, two hundred yards wide, two hundred deep. It was like very very big, and it was covered in netting, right, covered in netting. There was a small hole in the netting at the very top and eight toddler, like a one and a half two year old who could just kind of walk, was up there by himself, climbed up the thing, climbed through it, and then was just walking around on the roof of this thing. And it was like nightmare scenario because everyone's trying to see all the parents are like and everyone's like screaming like.
Oh, stay away, stay away.
But when you like yell and then there's a lot of noise, they like walk over to the side to like see what all the noise is. And then and They're like everybody's like shut up, shut shut up, and then we're just like just like making it go in, go in, and then like someone had to like run in an adult and then everything is three like three and a half feet tall, do you know, like all of the structures.
Run in and then very slowly like hunched over, go through a tube, go through a bunch of ropes, go through like a slide, climb up a rope wall and then get up there, get on top of it, and then get him off of it.
And it was terrifying.
And immediately like left. I was like we're out of here and we're never coming back to this place. Was the ballpit underneath the kid or the kid was over like equipment, because I do feel like you'd be like fall into the ballpit. There was no ball pit. He was over. He was over like picnic tables. Wow, that's not good. That's not a ball pit.
Were you standing like at the ready to catch a baby?
I was just like can we catch a baby from four stories up? Like?
Can we do this?
It were so for sure.
I would like to try it.
Yes, you know, if there was a simulator, not actual baby, But I I love picturing that. I feel like there was a part of that parent saving the kid that felt like they were in guts or like one of those like Nickelodeon, you know what I mean.
It was a true triumph. It was Wow.
It was a It was a rescue on par with anything that appears on nine one one Rescue.
A great show. It's called nine one one Rescue. Yeah, it's called omergency Egency. Now there's a new one. Now there's like a there's a new location, of course, so they're just expanding nine one one everywhere.
Is it just nine one one Detroit?
Yeah? I think it's a beach one or Texas or something. I think maybe they're in bikinis. I don't know. I can't believe your shown did never went. That was such a good Maybe it was on that show that pilot. Maybe it was in the pilot. She was great in it.
It was Blake's mom.
Crazy and he was just destroying the house. He was a kid destroying the house. Yeah, we got to revive that. For those that don't know what we're talking about. I shot a pilot for TBS. God, it's probably six or six years ago now with Adam Devine called What's Your emergency and it was real nine one one called lip SYNCD by very funny, talented people and re enacted as dramatically and comedically as possible. And we just thought we were going to make two hundred episodes of that show.
It was the golden era of a lip dub. You know, you had drunk history.
There was some I remember lip dubbing on some other MTV show at some point, but there was a minute there where it was like, you can lip dub.
You're working, lip sync back, you're working, You're booked. N man.
Well, Mamory, thank you so much for being on. Tell us about your book. When does it come out? How can people get it?
It doesn't come out till spring, so we've got a little bit of a runway, but yeah, please.
It's called All I Think about.
Is Food, and it's a vegetarian dinner party cookbook with cocktails. It's ten different dinner parties and then I show you how to turn your leftovers into something you want hungover the next day.
Oh that's awesome.
Yeah, I'm really excited about it.
No, well, congratulations on the third book.
That's amazing, Thank you very much. Yeah, and is there a cold HOGI like, is that just I have.
The whole post coital easy snack chapter. No, I do have a whole chapter that's all with aberdijiax.
So nice. Okay, Yeah, well, have you come back the week that's launched?
We would love to have Yeah, well, thanks for having me your thanks for coming back?
Are you? Are you around? Are you around this week? Here?
Let's get some beers.
I felt a tiny, tiny breeze today and I was like, I gotta sit outside and drink a pumpkin beer.
Oh yeah, there's a new one at Frogtown Brewery. There's a new pumpkin ale. Let's go check it out. I'm all right, let me know when you go. The Bananas Man. Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
The catchy banana theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard and.
Our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstart
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern.
