Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt BraunohlerBeaver and the Goodie Bags with Rebecca Delgado Smith
Rebecca Delgado Smith joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about how Mozzarella the cat becomes obsessed with roast chicken after brain surgery, a woman is given a goodie bag after one night stand, the secret of blue zones is fake data and a plump beaver is Chicago’s newest sensation!
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Kurtie B. Why don't I go first today? You always go first, and I know that's exhausting. The pressure's always Here's one that was sent in by Dan Snow. A cat named Mozzarella has become obsessed with roast chicken after brain surgery. I'm sorry to hit you with such a bomb right off the bat.
Oh man, well you're gonna become obsessed with this episode of Bananas.
World.
Would you believe your mind?
Billion pieces bance baa.
Guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas I am Kurt Brown Older.
I am Scotty Land. It's Banana Boy number two. Thank you for listening to the silliest little podcast there ever was. Canada, Greenland. We love you, We love well. I'm sorry, so sorry. We hope we can mind our own business. We have plenty going on here. We don't need more anything.
We love what you're doing.
Keep loving it on your own, okay, great? Be you you, guys, be you, keep doing your thing. We love your thing.
Somebody who shouldn't stop keep doing their thing though, is Arizona?
Okay?
Oh Phoenix, come on, we're coming to you. March twenty ninth, Scotty was going to cancel the show. I said, no, Scotty, don't cancel the show. The people of Phoenix will show up. You have three and a half more weeks to get tickets for our show March twenty night, that stand up Live three pm. So please please go right now to our Instagram and get yourself tickets.
Arizona.
Prove to us that you're not the state that we all think you are.
Please. Well, I was just bumm because we sponsor the Phoenix women's rugby team. We have a team we sponsor, and our yes, the official league ball this year is the Banana's logo. It's a yellow rugby ball, and so I was pumped because we've sponsored him for a few two seasons now, and I was going to wear the jersey. But I wanted that team there. I wanted like twenty routy rugby players in the front row getting drunk and you know, beating us up because they're all stronger and more interesting and powerful than we are. But they're away playing a game in Cisco that day. That's why I was so bombed. I was counting on having twenty rugby women in the front row just yucking it up with us. Next year next time.
Yeah, Rugby, all you rugby women, please send your significant others to see us in Phoenix. Sorry, you know what, now, let's just get into this. I'm so excited about our guests today. We have known her for a very long time. Our guest today is a writer and comedian. You've seen her on The Good Place. You've watched her writing on Night Court. She hilariously investigates who is to blame for history's greatest tragedies on her part on.
Her podcast It's a Podcast.
On her podcast The Alarmist, Please welcome the wonderful Rebecca Delgado Smith.
Oh, hi you guys. I'm so happy to be here.
We are so happy to have you.
If anyone has been watching me write night Court, I'm scared. You just made me very scared. You should not be watching me, righte night Court.
Oh yeah, you've seen her writing night Court.
Just watching through the windows with long binoculars, even though they're right up against the window.
That's I guess, I guess I forgot the word on. You've seen her writing on Night Court.
Good Old and John Larroquette. You got him back.
That's been Oh yeah, that was huge.
That's a huge deal.
Iconic. He's iconic.
I love the original Night Court so funny. The new Night Court it's that I think they finally looked at the format and go This format works so well where you constantly have new people presenting themselves in front of a judge and you just get laughs just looking at the defendants as soon as they are staying there. It's such a smart format.
Oh, I mean, I can't take any credit for it, but I so. But I just it's a I'll tell you what, It's a really fun one to write for.
Yeah. Right.
Also, congratulations to John Lara Keett for not being canceled by Now that's amazing. What a wonderful thing for a sitcom actors from the eighties to make it to twenty twenty five without being canceled. You did it, buddy, true miracle.
Bravo. Yes, Rebecca, you were so kind to have me on The Alarmist just a couple of weeks ago or a few weeks ago, and I had the best time. I'm a big fan of that podcast. Such a fun podcast.
Oh thanks you guys. Scotty you were an incredible guest.
He's a great guest. Than he's an amazing guest. That's very kind.
I really hope that I don't let you guys down, and I'm just here for you.
I just okay. But it's fun because it's Some podcasts are like all educational, some are just people chatting, but yours is actually very educational and very funny. And it's so hard to bounce those two things because we did the Bahol East Pakistan cyclone that killed like four hundred thousand people, something I had never heard of. And when you were reading the facts and I was just sitting there being like, I'm learning so much about a part of the world that I had no idea about. I didn't know half a million people died because of a big hurricane. I didn't know hurricanes and cyclones and typhoons were basically the same thing.
And you know, we saved the best for you. We got we held onto the worst cyclone disaster, and you know we made We're our guests for it.
Yep.
And Scott is an expert in cyclones, so that was why he was on for that episode.
Yes, it's very well curated. Our guests are perfectly curated for Faster.
The only thing I know about cyclones are the Brooklyn Cyclone roller coaster in Coney Island. That was a It still exists. I think the wooden roller coaster that if you just wanted to keep riding, you just handed some random guy like six to eight dollars and they would let you stay on and go again. But it was so painful. Every time I felt like my lower back would get hurt. So I'm like, who's paying to go on this torture train one more time around? It was me, Scottie, it was me.
I definitely spent like twenty five minutes when drunken evening just be like we gotta go age until I ran out of cash.
I love that place.
So goddamn much. Oh man, I remember the first time I went to Coney Island, I left going. Well, now I know where Heaven and on Earth is located.
You know, I never went to Coney Island, and all of those years that I lived in New York City.
Oh, I believe it.
It's a delight. I think at that time in my life, Heaven on Earth was simply defied as.
Being able to drink a large beer in public. Talk dog.
In my mind, it's like just like Santa's enchanted forest in Miami that I would go to. I would frequent and I you know, I had my fair share of Santa's Enchanted, and so I wasn't compelled to go to Coney Island. But maybe I'm missing out. Maybe I need to go as an adult, like a real adult.
I love the idea that there's a theme park called Santa's. Is it called Santa's Enchanted?
Yes forest?
Oh, Santa's Enchanted Forest?
Okay? Great?
I thought it was like Santa's Enchanted Highway?
Okay. And it's in Miami.
It's ninety five degrees, one hundred percent humidity, and it is Christmas time.
We wear bathing suits.
There what a place for it? That's perfect?
It really is. You guys want to hear about this cat? Okay?
Oh?
Yeah?
Dan Snow sent this in A cat named Mozzarella has become obsessed with roast chicken after brain surgery. This was in Somerset Live, because of course it was because only in such a charming small place like Somerset could a story like this make the news.
Is it Somerset UK or Somerset, New Jersey, UK?
Alright? This is written by and this The name is Phoebe Hobbes wrote this She is truly the best in the business. It really is. They give her all the hard hitting news that you need to know. Dan Snow.
Oh thanks, Dance Snow the great Dan Snow.
He'll teach you guitar. A cat has celebrated his twenty first birthday this year, already a massive achievement.
What yeah, you gave a twenty one year old cat brain surgery?
Let that cat go?
I know we just lost ha listens, I apologize, we just lost half the bananimals. The cat who celebrated his twenty first birthday this year after vets near Wellington removed a tumor the third of the size of his brain. Mozzarella, named for his handsome white coat, was diagnosed with a brain tumor in twenty twenty one after his note his owner noticed him being unsteady on his paws. But thankfully, after a successful operation, Mozzrella has made a full recovery. It's a feel good story.
It's a feel good podcast.
Albeit with a new found of session for Roast Chickens.
That he's twenty one, he gets to have whatever he wants.
Yeah, rite it out. Who amongst us isn't am I right? Says Phoebe Hobbs. She's just making conversational you guys. Naturally. Mozzarella's human, David Nilsen, made sure he had a plate full of delicious poultry on his twenty first birthday. Again, this is in the news. We are adults talking to each other about a cat named Mozzarella eating roasted chicken on his twenty first birthday in England. David said, you'd never know Mozzarella had been ill or even how old he is. He doesn't seem to realize he is a very senior citizen now, and despite his age, he still feels it's his duty to try and chase all neighboring cats out of the garden. Most of them pay little attention to him anymore, which makes him cross. This person's life is so enchanted. This is.
This is yeah, this is Mozzarella's enchanted forest.
Oh my goodness. Yeah, he sounds like a real Walter Mathow character.
Yes, voiced by Walter Mattha.
But did the maybe you're not finished with the article, But did the chicken obsession or desire come after the surgery?
It did?
It?
Certainly did. Neurology specialists at Cave Veterinary Cave veterinary specialists. Simon Bertram said it was one of the biggest tumors he had ever encountered in Katy explained, Mozrella arrive blah blah blah. Yeah, unsteadiness, compulsive, circling to the left, so pay attention. MRI took it out and they got rid of it. Monrella underwent surgery right away, thankfully, David says, furry friend is now fighting fit, which is a term I'm going to start saying that all the time in Somerset, all the time after surgery. Our main concern was not him getting sick again or getting his head stuck in the bushes of the garden. You know, that's an inside joke that we will never know or understand he's really doing it. What phoebe just she only adds the details that humans need to know. He actually recovered quite well, and he has his fit since crolled fits controlled with medications. But as soon as he was back to his old self again, he's gained an addiction to roast chicken. Other than that, Mozzarella has been back to normal ever since. So not even a huge twist here. Just a hat survived a massive brain tumor and now eats roast chicken and is twenty one years old. Those are the bullet points.
But what we don't know is that now the voice in his head is actually Japanese.
Yeah, that's also.
A change, but we have not been able to discern it because he doesn't speak.
Yeah. Much a nightmare. But also, don't you want to be Mozzarella if you came back, if reincarnation was real?
Yes, twenty one years that's a hefty life.
What a run?
I mean, cats live longer than dogs, but I think twenty one. I think the longest I've heard of cat living I don't know in my social circle is twenty four years.
Oh, very impressive, very impressive, so very long. That's very long. So wait, like cat years are different than dog years?
What are cat years?
Like?
Five years?
Five human years? Is this animal one hundred and five years old?
Kurt? I just looked this up, and what I'm about to read to you about is the most confusing explanation for aging. All Right, A cat's age and human years is generally calculated by adding fifteen years to the first year, okay, nine years for the second year, and then four years for each additional year.
Okay, That makes actually a perfect sense to me.
Okay, so twenty four okay, so he's twenty four by two, so then nineteen times four would be seventy six, so seventy six times so he's one hundred.
Yeah, he's one hundred.
Yeah, for sure, he's great. But that makes perfect sense. So I guess, like your I say, that makes perfect sense, you guys, guys, it makes perfect sense. Catch up to me, Come on, guys, hit because I guess their first year you learn so much. It's like fifteen of our years. But then as the years go on there they slow down.
They're just the same. Yeah, they hit fifteen and then never change again.
They do the same thing from age one to.
Twenty one, twenty years of a blissful existence.
They seem to figure it out.
Is that different than dogs?
Dogs? Seven years? Right? Right? Seven years? Yeah?
But I also think yeah, and I think it does change because like by the time they're like three years old, they definitely start to get out of that puppy phase two or three.
But my dog, I'll come this is great. I love it. Where what website are you getting this off of? I am just straight up googling this and getting the AI overviews, which is one dog year is not equivalent to seven human years. It all depends on the dog's age, size and breed, but the general thumb is here we go carrying out. Dog's first year of life is about fifteen human years, second year is about nine human years. Each additional year is equal to about five human years age like more than cats.
Okay, and that's why they die younger.
I think, yep, right, yep, yep, okay, so much love to give. It's an educational podcast. It's an educational podcast.
I'm really learning so much. You guys, thank you.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
You're going to not stop learning. We're not going to allow you.
Brain is going to age like four years from all the learning in one hour.
The mozzarella of it all. When I my first job in Los Angeles went, we all kind of moved out around the same time from New York, and my first gig was Adam Vine's house party. I was, you know, probably here for like six months and got that job, like yeah, it was crazy, and then so I was basically the showrunner and it was We rented a giant house in Chatsworth just north of LA and it's huge and it's been used in so many movies because it's intentionally over the top, humongous and like it was Mike Tyson's house in The Hangover and it's just this house that this family owns, and they're like, yes, please pay our mortgage. Here, take it over. We'll take all the money in the world. And Comedy Central had this great idea because at the time, having web content they thought was going to be the future of Remember that when everybody's like, can you make a viral video for us? And you're like, I could certainly try if you pay me. And so we had a second director or by payment, and they had a second shoot happening while we were recording our TV show, a party happening within the party, with John Gabris and Betsy Sadero as the party crashers. Love great people. They made them write scripts, but they had a whole different thing. But you guys, know you've worked in TV. It would basically be like if somebody worked as a fireman, and then they're like, and while you guys are being firemen, we're also just going to be hanging out in the firehouse talking about our own stuff, and you're like this doesn't really work, or like we're going to teach in the back of your classroom while you're teaching in the front of the classroom. Bad idea. So at some point it escalates where one day I can sense that the other group and the other executives are really combative and we're shooting show, having fun. It's all last And what I found out was they made John and Betsy and the director payment like record extra content with dej Orneo pizza, Like they just out of the blue.
Oh, like it wasn't an actual sponsor. They just were like, we'll do it and then maybe we'll get the sponsorship later.
That's exactly it, Kurt. They made them. They made them riff, improvised, change scripts, act like hey, hand me that slice of Dogorno all and it's like escalating to the point where like the actors are getting frustrated and confused. They're pulling comics from our show into those scenes and they're like, what's happening. So now they're all doing commercials for Dejorno for web content, and it escalates to the point where and all three of those we know, those three people there couldn't be nicer people and more talented people to work with. So they're trying their best just to keep it going. And at the end of the day, I finally they were like, can you come talk to I won't name the person charge, but there was a woman in charge of the web content and you know who? You do know who? And so I'm like, hey, so we need all our comics back for the rest to shoot. What's going on? Is everything okay? I heard there like a Dogiorno pizza fiasco and she goes, we just made them record a bunch of Dijorno content. I was like, Oh, that's cool, they're paying you, and she goes, no, we actually don't have the sponsorship yet and they never got it. They so the entire day was just wasted improvising about Digorno pizza when there was no contract. They gave us zero money for the show. It was just like can you imagine just being like, hey, guys, you know what the lines you memorized last night? Nope, now we're talking about a frozen pizza. It tastes like delivery, let's face it. And they and we never used it. And to this day, all three of them are like so bitter to that person, just being like you've wasted our adult time. You talk about fifteen to nine years. I'm sure that day felt like a hundred years of just hey, just improvise and be funny about dogorno. Oh my god, I love that so much.
Also, that means that that footage exists somewhere shit dead on that, I'd be like, who wants thirteen year old content about.
Pizzas in there? Those two are just so funny, and I can see them being so nice about it.
Yes, everybody's trying to figure it out.
Yeah, just trying to be like, you know, good sports. Yeah, we've all been there.
Even we would have done it for free pizza. If they had just given us one hundred free dijornas. We had been like, we'll talk about this every episode open with Adam pizza.
Well, we are not opposed to it, we just want the actual.
Money for us. That's it, all right? Ready, ready, this is you know what?
I got a controversial one. I maybe our first controversial story in Banana's history. This was from Boldie boldiebo l d E dot com bold bold du. This was sent in by Valerie. Oh, thank you, Valerie. You can send your strange news stories to the Bananas podcast at on Instagram or the Bananas podcast at gmail dot com.
Or to pork at pork business dot com.
You can also send them to pork at pork business dot com business spelled b i z n e s s. If you send it to pork at regular pork business, it will go to the food industry website pork business dot com. So I remember b i z n e ss. Woman receives goodie bag full of Dorito's marijuana and money from man after one night stand sounds perfect? All right, all right, here we go, Piper Ryan. Maybe there's no problem here. A Louisiana woman has revealed the quote sendoff bag she received from a man she had a one night stand with on her way out the door the morning after. This was written by Piper Ryan.
Did I say that you did? But a Dame's so nice you could say it twice.
Piper Ryan is a great name and best in the biz. I hope all of your work on bolday dot com goes viral. Yep uh posh Posh Williams Posh Williams posche. Williams took to Facebook to share a photo of the ziploc bag.
Okay, okay, remember which said, which said thank you for your time.
On the outside and contained goodies including drido iced tea, marijuana, and some cash. I'm not sure whether to be offended or impressed. That's Piper saying that posh couldn't wait to share a photo of the bag. She was so amused by the situation that she hopped online as soon as she left the guy's house. W Tf, she wrote, I couldn't wait to get to the car to post this shit. So I stayed by this dude's house and before I left, he said grab a bag. No the fuck he didn't, she wrote, alongside a photo of the bag in question. For some reason, Piper decided to number her article about this, so that was one, and then she just has two in bold. It seems nice at first, I mean, sometimes you do just want to snack, and having a sandwich, some chips and a drink candy as well as some weed to smoke if that's your thing, seems incredibly thoughtful and definitely comes in handy. That's why, at first glance, this guy's quote send off bags seems really sweet. Yeah, and then number three is an advertisement where I'm just reading an article and it's been numbered, and then the third one is want a partner, a tract love with the power of your mind.
He is playing some mind games right now. The cash is the most offensive part, right, Like cash is like your your sex worker.
We got a right, that is what number four is? It says, wait, what's at the money?
Right? But also I wouldn't mind it was forty bucks.
I wouldn't mind forty bucks.
I don't know is.
It for the I would you know? Is it for a cab ride? I know she got in her car, so she didn't need the cab.
Money, but you know that's in case. Look, it's there were multiple bags. There were multiple there were bags prep a.
Bit of a red that's a bit of a red flat. Wow, you know, even if it's gas money. You know, Louisiana things are far apart, a lot of bridges, a lot of swamps.
Okay, but gas.
Is also like two bucks a gown down there. So he was like, go, eighty dollars? Were the gas away for eighty gallons? Where the gas away from me? Yeah? To me?
The most defensive part, I guess is the ziploc bag.
Yeah, but here's the question, what is the appropriate bag for a after after a one night stand. It can't be like a little paper bag with handles, because then that looks definitely like a children's party favor after a children's birthday party, a goodie bag.
And like a lunch bag might be like, I don't know, drugs or something.
Yeah, lunch bag doesn't really work, Like, yeah, what kind don't I don't know what the appropriate bag is for an after night.
That's a great question, I think if I'm gonna feel good about it, yeah, I want a nice tote.
You want a nice tote, like.
From a coffee shop nearby, or that feels like curated.
Yeah, what about a bag, a little tote.
We're talking a little tote about the same size as a ziploc bag that says I boned this guy and all I got was this lousy tote bag.
I mean, I would appreciate the self awareness.
You know.
Yeah, you do feel a little bit like you're one of many, which isn't always the best feeling. But also so if you were just in it. Sometimes you just go out for a one night stand. Sometimes you're just trying to have some fun, and if that guy's having fun, there's no harm. It's just dalts I agree.
I think it's all in the packaging. It's all in the marketing.
And so the money doesn't make it. If the money is not the problem, it's the packaging.
Yeah, okay, what.
About the money is a problem too, But go.
On, yes, what about a classy attache case. Just but you wake up, you're already handcuffed to an aluminum briefcase.
A briefcase.
A briefcase was great? Yeah, then you just leave his shitty apartment. It looks like you just had a business meeting, sold him some cutcoat knives and got out of there.
I mean, that's great. Where did briefcases go?
You know?
I had a briefcase phase. Of course I did.
This is the time, This is the time.
But I wore a trench coat and a had smoked a Sherlock Holmes bidy and had a bucket hat in a hounds tooth pattern. I also would walk around with a little briefcase that I had spray painted like silver with like.
Fuck you or something.
But it's a briefcase. Literally is only good for paper, It's not You can't really fit anything other than a couple folders in a briefcase. But the days of the briefcase seem to have vanished, don't they.
You don't see them often. I think it's because what do you call it? A satin? It's not a saddle bag, but.
Across messenger bag.
A messenger bag took over just I think for practicality, you want two hands. If you're on the subway, you need two hands to hold onto a rail. I guess for safety, I guess a briefcase is very unsafe.
Well, it becomes a weapon, really, right, you block with? I think I've seen a Jackie Chan movie where he uses a briefcase to like do exciting that's inspired.
I did see a family riding their carry ons not long ago. They all had motorized carry ons and outs and it was two parents and two kids sitting on motorized carry ons, just cruising through Terminal three. And I was not mad at all. It was like, they did it. This is what we all should be doing. I love that.
Also, I have been obsessed with this carry on bag that is a robot and it just follows you as.
You walk through the air brak.
If you, guys, has anybody seen anybody with one of these?
I wanted to get one, didn't We tried to get one for Door to Shore, like we wanted to reach out and have one. So Rebecca, that's a cooler. Yeah, that's a cooler.
This is like a yeah, go ahead.
Oh so sorry. We walk, Curt and I walk out our front doors into the Pacific Ocean without stopping. Every year for charity, we put we get donations and we give it away to a human trafficking tink called cast La, and we just walk and it's like nineteen miles, it's thirty five thousand steps or whatever, and it takes us the whole day. We've done it three times. We're going to do Door to Shore four this in May, right in May. Yeah, I think we're gonna do it in May this year. Yeah, picked an exact dape. It's fun. But there's a robot that you wear like a wristband or like a little tag basically, and it follows like two feet behind you on two wheels and it's basically a cooler that carries up to like forty pounds. And I want to get two yellow ones and just have curtain. I walk in and just have our two little robot buddies with refreshments following us the whole way.
And then they die after two miles and we had to carry them fifteen.
Miles directly to the ocean.
Well, it's just full of batteries, right yeah, restarting them, they make the whole journey. No space for soda.
Also, I want to remind all the bananimals about the Bananas Blood Bonanza in April. We're all donating blood. Go dead, download the blood donor app from the American Red Cross, sign up and then go over to like your profile and join the Bananimal's team and then sign up to give blood in April, and we're gonna try and save thousands of lives.
Yeah, so we already have and thank you everybody who's signed up. We've gained about ninety more team members since we did. What number we are who? We have one hundred and sixty six team members and we are currently oh, we broke the top two hundred. We're currently one ninety four. We're above Nike, screw you, Nike, Nike, and we're just behind everybody's household name favorite company, Corning Incorporated. Corning.
Oh, I love Corny.
We're coming for you, Corning, eat our dust. Nike. Yeah, yeah, April first donate blood it's a good thing.
Scotty teas us into some musht sure.
Happy to hmm. I have Okay, Rebecca, I'm going to let you decide, because I have one universal worldwide one, and then I have one that takes place in Tennessee. What would you prefer?
I want to do the universal.
Great I was hoping you'd say that. Thumbs ups, Mo Slusher, which is going to make my Greatest Names list. Most Slusher slumming herself up for quitting her job after it thumbs up. After a difficult time teaching college during the pandemic, she quit and has been working for a friend ever since. It was a hard decision, but it was the right decision, and Most says, if any bananimals want to hire someone with a master's in biology, hit mo up. And then she had a second thumbs up for us, Kurt mo It says, second thumbs up. My mom died in May, and it was on a trip driving from Portland to Seattle, where her mom had lived, that Most started listening to Banana's podcast. Thumbs up for helping her smile during what was undoubtedly the worst year of her life. Oh my goodness, oh man, that so Mo thumbs up to you. That's a very sweet thing. You don't need to think about us. We're here for you. Vanessa wants to thumb herself and Alex up. They secretly got married on February tenth, and they're the only one. Only one friend knows about it, so they're excited to keep their little secret up and continued their lives together as husband or wife. Yeah, so just secret marriage. Thumbs up to a secret marriage. Yeah, you know, why not.
I've never been secretly married.
You've always been very publicly married. Yeah, publicly.
You feel like it's it's been a disadvantage almost how public are now.
I'm thinking of what my life would be like if I had been secretly married, thinking everything it.
Would just be Rebecca Delgado a good name from Miami of she loves Santa year round.
For the Wrecker, Sanna's enchanted forrest. Does I think they tear? They bring it down in January, bring it back up in October?
Oh they do.
Oh it is not a year round, it's seasonal. Oh okay, so it's like carnival kind.
Of, it's carnival, but it feels like it lasts forever.
Okay, Yeah, yeah, it's you're there. It feels fifteen years, nine years, and then four years. Every moment after Isla is seeking a thumbs up. This is a new angle. Kurt Okay. Aila is a longtime bananimal and her boyfriend recently dumped her after she had received two life altering diagnoses are diagnosis. Isla is only eighteen years old. By the way, Oh my god. Isla has been struggling, but she loves the Banana Boys so much so. Kurt and Rebecca, we just got a thumb We got a gas. Isla up here first of all, double thumbs up to you, double thumbs.
I gotta go, and Isla, you know what I'm saying.
Banana of the week. Ooh oh, Manna of the week.
You deserve it. This, I mean, come on, man.
Come on, man, bro come on man. And when it happens, but getting dumped is the best. It's the Just give it some time and you will see. I once read I think it was a tweet that said the worst man are the worst people in the entire universe are the men you date from eighteen to twenty one. And I have told some friends women friends that and they're like, yeah, that's pretty much true. Looking back. Yeah, so Isla. It's a gift in disguise, a joy or freedom. Hope everything goes your way. Banana the Week, and last, but not least, Caroline Sloan wants to thumb up her manager. I don't think we've ever had someone thumb up their manager. Maybe one ever before, ever, ever. Ever. The manager's name is Leslie. Leslie has gone above and beyond. When Caroline recently developed a seizure disorder, so Leslie went out of way, giving her rides when she couldn't drive. She helped her set up a new work system at work so that she could work with her new conditions, and she even called an ambulance for her and contacted family members during a severe episode. Caroline could not appreciate you more, Leslie, So thumbs up to Leslie. Thumbs the manager who's going above and beyond. And these days everybody needs to go above and beyond for the real Yeah.
I like putting that one after the boyfriend who dumped because it makes you feel hopeful because there are good people out there, so many.
Oh yeah, there's so many, so many. I think there's more.
Good people than bad. Honestly, I really do.
Do you think so yeah, I think, I know, I know more good people than bad people.
So yeah, and I think the fact then yeah, I think the bad people just cause far more damage the few that there are.
Or is it just that we don't hang out with the bad people, because that's all of a sudden, I'm worried.
They're all at an abandoned mall.
We did from eighteen to twenty one. Everybody that was our close friends, you were like, this guy's interesting. He stays up all night. It's like he doesn't need to sleep. And then you're like, oh god, now I know why.
Now that you say that, I've been thinking about it since you said it. Most of my friends and loved ones I met while I was eight from eighteen to twenty one.
Oh wow, look at that.
Lose My husband I met when I was eighteen, got him loose.
He's a good guy. We like, he's a good.
Christmas great and we started dating when I was twenty. If you can even imagine.
Oh my god, did you guys start a Harvard sailing team at that time, like when you were.
Twe we're twenty one, but we all met when we were eighteen.
Wow, that's amazing. This was Harvard Sailing Team was a sketch group that exist for.
Like a very very long.
Term regrets maybe ten years.
Yeah that Yeah, they were so very very funny. And Rebecca and her husband Chris were in that along with some very very hilarious people, and we would see them perform all the time.
The time all performed together.
Yeah, you would share slots.
It was such a fun time. That's so two thousand and eight, Yes, exactly.
Well that's fine, cut them off, Free Rebecca and start fresh. She still got plenty of time. Look be inspired by Mozzarella.
Yeah, I'm in the market for a new husband and friends.
So alrighty, here's one for you guys. S Burrito God sent this in. That's a great name. Good for you for getting that handle on Instagram. That's very good. The secret of blue zones where people reach one hundred years of age fake data, says one academic.
Oh yes, I listened to an entire podcast about this maintenance phase. If anyone is not listening to maintenance Phase, it's a delightful podcast to listen to. And yeah, they did a cover thing on blue zones. Yeah, and then I, even knowing all of that, I recently picked up a Blue Zones frozen dinner because I was just like, well, it still.
Looks pretty good. Now, it still looks pretty good. Yeah, yes, I've gotten jaunt some blue buffalo dog treats or whatever at Blue Bison, And I'm like, why am I falling for this because it says blue something exactly? Yeah?
What is blue zone? I I'm sorry I have.
Come across this. Okay, give it lots of specials too, like Netflix has a whole series on it. But basically, blue zones are places around the world where people seem to live longer or hit one hundred years old more than other places.
Yeah, yes, okay, yes, right right.
This was but are they selling food now there?
Yeah, so a National Geographic teamed up with the guy who didn't even discover blue zones. He literally was a journalist who just wrote about them, and then he then later kind of redefined everything and was like I discovered blue zones and he didn't. He just wrote about the actual scientists who did the research. And then he teamed up with National Geographic and now they sell all of these branded items, including like magazines and food and it's a stamp. Now it seems like it's well it's kind of a scam. But also when you look at this stuff, that the food that they're selling, it's like, what it is healthy food, you know, but it doesn't really there's no they claim like you eat this, you live to order. In thirty five you were as old as mazzarella, you know, and it's like, and that's not true. It's just like, how far is true of the there's some legoomes in here. That's great.
Here we go. I'm only listening to the alarmist podcast. It's doing podcasts. I listened to Who's to Blame that guy? This was in Ala on air Al Jazeera doc Come written by Aaron Hale. There it is Blueston the biz. For a quarter of a century, researchers and the general public have sought to understand why people and so called blue zones live to be one hundred years old at a far greater rate than anywhere else. Saw Newman, a researcher at University of College in London UCL, believes that he has the answer. They don't. Despite being popularized in news articles, cookbooks, and even in Netflix. A recent Netflix documentary series, the blue zones are really just a byproduct of bad data. Argist Newman, who spent years debunking research about extremely elderly populations. Yes, no, I mean like that's what co after that. I know, I know to just go right after. It's all just like bad data. I love it.
Also, this is the like on Maintens Phase is also the podcast where I learned that you know how we had those that diet was like the French diet because the French never have heart attacks, but they eat cheese and they drink wine and they smoke cigarettes. Well, it just turns out that I love this so much, is that in France if it's not like, if you don't like see the heart attack actually happening, you just put it down to like other causes. And so it's just that like heart attacks and stuff like that, which would be very clearly caused by a cardiac event, were just never marked down as being from a cardiac event. And that's why we think the French people are so healthy.
And they're not.
They're just i'd mean, like they eat a little less than us, but they're having heart attacks at the same rate as we are.
That is INCREDI isn't that awesome? Whoops, Just a tiny little detail.
Out of sight out of mind. This guy natural causes. It looks like a heart attack. Did see it? Just found him face down with a hogi in his left hand, gripping his left arm. Yeah, Rather than lifestyle factors such as diet or social connections, he says the apparent longevity of people in the main five regions, which are Okinawa, Japan, Sardinia, Italy, Hooya Costa Rica, Ikaria, Greece, and Loma Linda, California, can be explained by pension fraud, clerical errors, and the lack of the lack of reliable birth and death records.
And it's not actually Loma Linda. It is this specific Christian sect where they like have divorced themselves from most Western modern habits. And even that one doesn't actually qualify. And the guy said in an interview that he only put it in there because National Geographic was like, well, we need one in the United States so that like people can look forward to something.
This is just due to like bad just someone who's bad at their job.
Yeah, and also their jobs a lot of people because it's like yeah, yeah, it's like a guy who's like I'm one hundred and twenty and then you like look it up and he's like, he's just a hundred. He's just a hundred, you.
Know, like that sort of thing.
Wow, or people trying to get the pension of their grandmother or father. Yes, so they die and then they just say oh I'm.
Them oh wow.
And they keep collecting it. Yeah, that's it. So the guy Kart was talking about is Dan Butner is the American author and explorer I got to start putting and explorer and screenwriter and explorer.
Scottie LA's comedian explorer Pork at pork business dot com.
What does that mean? You just go outside?
You travel sometimes with a backpack. It turns out everywhere has been explored a re explorer.
You need glasses for that or like what like just just glasses.
Just put on a pair of glasses and walk outside your exploring. It's just that easy. Oh man. A damn Buttener, American author and explorer credited with coining the term blue zone, did not respond to a quest for comment, but his research claims that the area around blue zones that they analyzed reams of demographic data, including United Nations mortality statistics between nineteen seventy and twenty twenty one. So then our guy who loves blowing up old people living forever saw Newman. He went through and found that the figures were simply not believable. Some of the places reported to have the most centenarians centenarians yes, included Kenya, Malawi, and the self governing territory of Western Sahara Jurisdictions, who when he went back and looked at it, had overall life expectancies of sixty four, sixty five and seventy one years old respectively. So okay, he said, Yeah, I've tracked down eighty percent of the people in the world who were aged over one hundred and ten and found where they had been born, where they died, and analyzed the population level patterns. Newman told Al Jazeera, and was absolutely striking because the more old age poverty means you get more one hundred and ten year olds. So basically the poor of the place is the more you get old old people.
Because it's just the bad record keeping, because it's underfunded.
Some governments have acknowledged serious flaws in their record keeping related to birth and deaths, which is interesting. Newman believes that clerical errors, whether intentional or inadvertent, have been compounded over the decades and severely undermined the reliability of statistics related to old age. In twenty ten, the Japanese government announced that eighty two percent of its citizens reported to be over one hundred years of age had already died. That's a lot, that is I'm running the numbers. That's almost eight out of ten. In twenty twelve, Greece announced that he that he Grease announced that he had discovered that seventy two percent of their one hundred year olds claiming pensions, some nine one thousand people were already dead.
Wow.
Puerto Rico's government said in twenty ten that it would replace all existing birth certificates due to concerns about widespread fraud and identity theft. So blah blah blah, you get the idea. Still, the idea of blue zones has been really hard to shift, even in the face of reliable data. Japan's Okinawa Prefecture has often been lauded in the media for its diet and cultural practices. However, Okinawans have some of the worst health conditions are health indicators in Japan, according to Japanese government's annual National Health and Nutrition Survey, which has been carried out since nineteen forty six. So Okinawa is not even the healthiest place in Japan. Wow.
While the traditional the worst at booking people, they're just the worst.
Stop right there, our two listeners in Okinawa, Japan. I'll sandy a postcard, but don't eat it. While the traditional Okinawan die would die, it is widely seen as healthy. A twenty twenty study found that the island prefecture today has a higher prevalence of obesity and higher rates of mortality among those aged forty to sixty five than in mainland Japan. So what we're hearing from at least this article is blue zones don't exist. Do the best you can where you are, exactly.
Yeah. Just eat berries and nuts, right yeah, nuts and berries, that's all you need. And get some good shoes.
Get great, get us brush your tee, floss my dentist. It's like, if you don't floss, you're gonna have a heart attack. I'm like that, you don't need to jump to that conclusion, man, I'll just flass. You can just say have clean teeth.
Oh, I mean I just saw something about like that. There might be a connection between Alzheimer's and ginger vitis, and I was.
Like, oh no, I'm in for it.
I gotta start flaws and more. I am very bad at flossing.
I'm so bad at flossing too. The only thing that stops or gets me two flaws is the dental assistant. Then I have to she she has the heaviest hand.
Oh, and just digging in there. It's like a punishment. It's just like here it because you don't do this yourself. I'm gonna make you bleed before you leave.
Yeah.
I feel that, but I, for some reason keep going back. Yeah, and whether it be just custom, I don't know. I'm afraid to go to try a new dentist because what if their dental assistant is is heavier handed. I don't know. I don't know. I don't have a lot to gauge from, you know, from my experience. So I keep going back to her, and every time she just disapproves of me. So she's just like open your mouth, and I do, and she's like wow, just wow, Okay. She always looks at the chart and she's like, how long has it been?
You know? Oh you sound so animal.
I'll get your number.
Yeah, sign me. I want judgment. The least pleasant experience of the year. Yep, I want somebody also insulting me directly to my face and a l with my mouth open.
But it works, It works.
The job done.
Now, do you guys want me to send you home?
Yes? But what if she left you with a ziploc bag of Dorito's a sandwich there, it is a little bit of cash there it is see then then you're going back there two three times a year. Yeah, it is what I'm saying.
Here.
It is. Plump beaver is Chicago's newest viral sensation just needs a name. Uh so, yeah, there is organization apparently Chicagoans love naming animals in Chicago. Like so there's apparently Chance the Snapper, which is a turtle, and there's piping plovers, Monty and Rose and so now there is this chonky beaver that is in the river and this this group called Urban Rivers is starting has it on Reddit right now. It's been going on for like eighteen days. Yes, so you can go on and just search Urban Rivers on Reddit and find they're having a little thing. You can go give a name to this chunky beaver and Chicago that's fun, right, Yeah, it's a fun thing.
You can and they'll show you the Chunky Beaver if you go. So I just look up chunky beaver.
Yeah, Damn Cortez. Damn Cortes is mine because I just feel like people don't talk about MTV sports anymore, and there was a time where I thought Dan Cortes was the coolest guy in the world. So I'm naming that plump beaver Damn Cortes.
Oh that's so good. How can they beat that?
They can't, They can't. Sorry, well, thank you so much, Rebecca for being here.
It's been a pleasure. I'm so happy to have learned so much.
It's an educational podcast.
Yeah, it really is slifting podcasts.
We do our best in spite of everything. Where can they find you, Rebecca plug Away? Where can the banan animals who are now obsessed with you find you?
You can find The Alarmist Podcasts wherever you get your podcasts. We're also on social media, of course we are. We're on Instagram The Alarmist Podcast and you can find me personally at at Smith Rabe just on Instagram.
Ah Smith Raybae, follow, like, subscribe, five star reviews, rate and review the alarmist. Thanks for being on Rebecca.
Thanks you guys, It's been a pleasure.
Buanana's PODCASTA Oh I like that. That was like a balloon. Deflating Bananas is an exactly right media production. Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine. The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstart
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern
